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#anyways like both characters had to deal w a certain circumstance out of their control that led to them grow disillusioned w the world as is
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Hiiii! Can you please do the NSFW A-Z for Zoro? 💕
Hello! Thanks for waiting so patiently for this, I’ve been working on it in between shifts and breaks and all that haha much easier to do the whole thing if you do it in chunks rather than all at once! I hope you enjoy!
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Considering that he falls asleep pretty much instantly, he’s not too good about aftercare; he’s absolutely down for cuddles though, and will likely even seek his partner out in his sleep.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
On his partner: He’s an ass man, he just really loves touching/grabbing/squeezing/whatever-ing his partner’s butt. 
On himself: So this’ll be hard to explain, but Zoro doesn’t really have a favorite part of his own body. Not because he’s unhappy with how he looks or anything to do with that, after all he puts a lot of work into keeping his body strong and in shape; but it’s all a vessel for his dream of being the World’s Greatest Swordsman. The closest thing you could come to for an answer would be his muscles, but that’s only because they’re the physical embodiment of what he can do as a fighter. He doesn’t attribute any emotion to his physical form, it’s all just hardware.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
Considering how grossly filthy Zoro is at pretty much any given time, he has zero qualms about getting cum everywhere. Please spray him with a hose (honestly just spray him with a hose even without the sex, the man only bathes once a week, and that's a crime) 
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Zoro actually really likes getting pegged (when he's with a woman), and when he's with a male partner he actually tends to bottom. It's not something he's ashamed of, per se, but it's not something most would think when they look at him, so it can be a bit of a surprise
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Zoro has zero experience, but once he finds someone he wants to be with he's ready and willing to learn the ropes. He approaches it just as earnestly as his regular training (though with a few more blushes of course). He mostly just needs to be guided through at first; his instincts are pretty sharp, and they’ll kick in pretty easily.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
He's fine either being on top or bottom, but his favorite positions are ones that let his partner grip him to the point of scratching him. Feeling their nails dig into his skin is a pretty big turn on and just gets him going even more than he already was. He's also a fan of sex while standing up, and he can easily hold up his partner's body while he's slamming into them. 
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
He's unintentionally goofy, as in he's totally serious about everything he says and does, but the things he's saying and doing are so ridiculously silly that the whole thing ends up being hilarious. As he gets more comfortable having sex, he'll stop getting so embarrassed when his partner starts giggling at his antics, and he'll even be silly on purpose. 
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
It's a mess down there, and to be honest he can't be bothered to trim it. Maybe if he's asked really nicely (aka threatened) he'll do something about it, but otherwise it's staying a mess. 
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 
Zoro is just downright affectionate during sex. Even if it's super kinky sex, he's finding every opportunity he can to kiss his partner, whether it be on the mouth, back, shoulder, stomach, or just wherever he can reach; he just wants them as close as possible. He's so intense about it. 
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
When he's not interested in anyone in particular, he can go quite a while without masturbating; he even considers it a form of discipline training (how long can I deal with the fact that I'm horny right now, and can I hold off long enough for it to just go away?). It can become harder to keep his focus when he is interested in someone, but either way he's no stranger to masturbation. As long as he's alone and no one can hear him, he's fine.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Zoro's down to try anything once, but the one thing he knows for sure he likes (after trying it) is anal, both giving and receiving. Also impact play (on himself, though if his partner's into it he's up for that as well) 
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Anywhere he knows he won't be walked in on; he's really got no particular preference on location. He'll try to stick to comfortable places (like a couch or a bed) whenever possible for his partner's sake, but comfort isn't an issue for him as long as it's private. 
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He gets turned on the most when his adrenaline is high; so after working out, after a battle, things like that. His blood's already pumping, and then afterwards he can settle down for a nap. Win-win!
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He won't do public sex; not because he's embarrassed about his performance or anything like that (after all, it's one more thing he can lord over a certain cook), but he's a private person. Others don't need to see how he acts with his partner in their intimate moments, and nobody except him gets to see his partner in that situation.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Zoro loves receiving, he goes just absolutely wild for it; but he definitely gives as good as he gets. The man can hold a whole ass sword in his jaw, and can even hold a clear conversation while doing so! He can go for a long time without his jaw getting tired, and he’s...dextrous? Shall we say? He also can absolutely talk to his partner while he’s going down on them, which the first time he did that was definitely a shock, but after that he occasionally just...says something (about the weather for instance), just to be silly. What a dork.
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He is the definition of "fast and rough", he's relentless. But, there's passion in what he does, and that's its own kind of sensuality. He can go slower if his partner would like, but he has to physically slow himself down as it's not his default setting
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Zoro has no problem with quickies. If it's a matter of "we have about 5 minutes before someone walks in here but we're both horny", that seems like an easy decision for him. He does still prefer to take his time with his partner though, so he might find them again later, time permitting. It's also going to be very rough, and may leave his partner a tad sore for a while afterwards. 
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
As long as the risk isn't "let's see if we can fuck without getting caught" he's fine, and even then it's mostly that he doesn't wanna be caught with his pants around his ankles in an emergency. But honestly, this is Zoro; what's life without a little risk?
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Zoro has ridiculous amounts of stamina. Sex can end up lasting a pretty long time with him, so hydrate well before and after. It'll lead to some nice sleep afterwards, though.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He doesn't own toys, but if his partner has them he's more than happy to try using them. It's all part of the learning/training process for him. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Zoro would like to tease, and he gives it a fair shot, but he usually can't hold himself back for very long to really make it worth it. He just wants to taste and feel every inch of his partner's body, and he loves the sounds they make when he's pleasuring them. 
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
If/When he’s being teased, or just during foreplay when his partner is touching him or blowing him or grinding on him or whatever they may be doing, Zoro downright whimpers. He’s trying so hard to remain in control of himself, but when he feels good it’s harder and harder for him to remain disciplined, and those little sounds just slip out of him (especially pre-timeskip, before he’s had further training with Mihawk; he’s much less self-controlled then). He’s pretty embarrassed by it though, so don’t tease him about it (but feel free to continue teasing him in other ways hehehe). Otherwise he's pretty loud anyway, but not much for words; it's just a bunch of noisy grunts and caveman noises. He's so noisy!
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Surprising probably no one, Zoro is a bit of a masochist! Nothing too crazy, but the slight sting of pain during foreplay and sex is a huge turn on for him, and drives him absolutely wild. It's part of why battle gets him worked up. 
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
His penis is pretty average in length and girth, with a slight curve to the left. 
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He's pretty good at staving off the urges, but his sex drive is remarkably high. He's honestly always DTF, so long as circumstances permit it.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He passes right out, sorry. He’s just exerted a lot of energy and stamina, no different than when he trains and works out, and he celebrates by taking a nice nap. He’ll be up again soon though, he never sleeps for very long.
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otnesse · 3 years
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Been banned by ****IrisHatersSay simply for disagreeing with her on May and Misty, but will still reply to her points anyways, merely out of obligation.
“Oh my God.  You really don’t know when to stop talking, do you?”
Well, gee, considering the entire point of a discussion is to continue talking, yeah, I don’t know WHEN to stop.
“Okay, I guess we’re back to equating skill development with character development.  And the Johto stretch just wasn’t good.”
The Johto stretch may have been excessive, but at least THAT had actual lasting results that carried over into the next saga, such as Ash beating Gary, not to mention advancing to top 8, which even if we don’t count his win at the Orange Islands is still a major improvement compared to in Kanto where he barely made Top 16 (and for circumstances beyond his control, namely Team Rocket abducting him). AG, on the other hand, literally had by its end May being replaced with a girl who shared the EXACT same goal as her, rendering her arc pointless in the end, had Ash winning Top 8 AGAIN, and even when Ash did end up gaining the one actual accomplishment for that saga, beating the Frontier Brains, not to mention beating Brandon’s Regice with Pikachu single-handedly, the whole accomplishment got treated as a joke by Gary (who beat Pikachu with Electivire despite Gary pretty much being retired from training by that point), not to mention Paul twice (and both times with explicitly rookie Pokemon).
“Nah, the kindergarten teacher argument is still dumb.  Pokémon trainers are more like parents to their Pokémon.  They raise Pokémon.  And May was still not an abuser.”
If a parent outright ends up HATING the profession of child-raising and child-rearing, they aren’t fit to be a parent, period. Doesn’t matter if they’re abusers or not. Though that being said, it does tend to outright lead into abuse if they hate the child. Just look at Lois Griffin, hated Meg her eldest daughter, and was very abusive towards her.
“Okay, so you didn’t watch AG.  Let me pull out my meme.”
Just because I didn’t watch AG doesn’t mean I didn’t look up various stuff like episode summaries/synopses and getting a gauge on the episodes via trivia sections and or other things. I usually use those as compensation for when I don’t watch a series myself. Second-hand knowledge, if you will. Besides, just because you’ve watched something directly doesn’t mean you’re actually right. Thomas Jefferson personally witnessed the events of what would become known later on as Bastille Day while acting as the American Ambassador to France, and he ended up being completely wrong in his assessment of the French Revolution, singing praises for the Jacobin murderers (ironically, John Adams, who never actually set foot in France at all during that time, had a far more accurate assessment of what that event would result in, being ahead of the curve compared to even his fellow Founding Fathers’ assessments, let alone Jefferson).
“Also, reacting differently to stressors in your environment is true.  Everyone does not have the same DNA code.  I’m pretty sure psychologists are aware of this, genius.”
Of course people don’t have the same DNA code (well, barring maybe identical siblings, but even there, there’s slight variances), but that doesn’t mean people can’t have similar reactions. As far as psychologists, considering psychologists literally convinced my cousin that she was gay just because she had slight trouble with men (something which my mom, who actually HAD psychologist training from trying to train for nursing, was aghast at), I have zero reason to trust them at their word regarding that bit. Besides, even if that were true, it doesn’t change the fact that she outright hated the Pokemon Training profession at the start, which is STILL inexcusable.
“Suffering is not a competition.  This is not the Suffering Olympics.  And for the record, May and Norman’s relationship did appear to have quite a bit of emotional distance and strain in it.  If you actually watched AG, you’d probably know that.”
At least Norman’s actually IN her life, and not as a deadbeat dad, and at least she HAS an actual loving family to go to, unlike Misty and Brock, who were abandoned by their parents and in the case of Brock pretty much was forced to act as the closest thing they had to a parent until Flint came home, and had to endure fairly abusive siblings in Misty’s case. No matter how much emotional strain there might have been between May and Norman, it’s still nothing compared to outright abandonment (and not even “abandonment to protect your child and/or not deal with bad memories of a rape” kind of abandonment, but more “screw you kid, I’m not dealing with you anymore” kind of abandonment due to Misty and Brock regarding the Gym’s difficulties), to say little about outright abuse, and you know it. Now, if Norman and Caroline treated her like Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia Dursley did to Harry Potter by barely feeding scraps from the table, forcing him to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs up until his first year in Hogwarts (and even THEN, only out of a failed attempt at preventing the Owls from delivering Harry’s acceptance letter), and even doing stuff like outright starving him or locking him up for various reasons, heck, even deeply considering feeding him to Dementors, THEN you might have a point regarding how May’s interactions with her parents were a lot worse than Misty and Brock’s were, not to mention actually warranted.
“Liking a certain type of female character does not mean you are not a misogynist.  A lot of sexist dude bros like certain female characters.  Doesn’t mean they’re not misogynists.”
The literal definition of misogyny is “hatred of women”. I’m pretty sure true misogynists would outright HATE a woman simply for BEING a woman at all, not caring about her personality or character. Want a real misogynist? Look at General Blue from Dragon Ball: https://youtu.be/_wyt1Aq6hm8 Also Chi Fu from Mulan. THAT’S what an actual misogynist acts like, where they can’t so much as even STOMACH being six feet from a girl, being revulsed by them (not fearful of them, just disgusted with them).
“And May did receive good development.  A narrative direction you don’t like ≠ bad writing.”
Actually, it is bad writing, and I would have said it was bad writing even if I DID like the narrative direction/character. I said the same thing about Disney’s Beauty and the Beast and Beast’s development earlier, and in case you’ve forgotten, unlike May, I actually LIKED Beast as a character. 
“Nope, the Bible was still written by men.  God was not sitting up in Heaven with a typewriter and poof it down to Earth.  And yeah, let’s glorify how Christians committed genocide in order to convert people.”
We didn’t commit genocide in order to convert people. As far as the Bible, it was written by God, and handed down to us. It was certainly not written by men. Use your head, if it were written by men, and had biases from fallable people like men, don’t you think Jesus Christ, the Son of God, would have made sure to, I don’t know, outright destroy any passages that tarnish God’s view on things, and do so in a very public manner I ought to add?
“Also, Sodom and Gomorrah is NOT about homosexuality.  It’s about hospitality.  If you weren’t an awful person, you’d know that.  And while we’re on this topic, homosexuality is not a sin.  Comparing references to homosexuality in the Bible and what we think of being LGBT in modern times is like comparing apples and oranges.  First of all, you are blatantly ignoring historical context.  The homosexuality referenced in the Bible is outlawed because of its connection to pagan rituals.  There is nothing to even suggest that two people of the same gender who happen to be in love is bad.  Being trans is also fine.   Trans men are men, and trans women are women.”
1. Regarding the first part, those mob of men who came over to Lot’s house to interact with the two men who arrived (actually angels of God) certainly were acting very “hospitable” to them, considering they were trying to make them sleep with them. Or maybe I should quote the specific passage for you just so you realize that hospitality was far from the reason for its destruction: “The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 “My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”“No,” they answered, “we will spend the night in the square.”3 But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. 4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”9 “Get out of our way,” they replied. “This fellow came here as a foreigner, and now he wants to play the judge! We’ll treat you worse than them.” They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door.10 But the men inside reached out and pulled Lot back into the house and shut the door. 11 Then they struck the men who were at the door of the house, young and old, with blindness so that they could not find the door.12 The two men said to Lot, “Do you have anyone else here—sons-in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here, 13 because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the Lord against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it.”14 So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were pledged to marry[a] his daughters. He said, “Hurry and get out of this place, because the Lord is about to destroy the city!” But his sons-in-law thought he was joking.” Genesis 19:1-14. Does that REALLY sound like they were inhospitable to you?
2. Homosexuality IS a sin, actually. Aside from Sodom and Gomorrah as listed above, not to mention Leviticus 18:22, even the likes of Jesus’ apostles, with Jesus’s own blessing mind you, outright said that homosexuals are among those who are barred from heaven. And what’s in the past affects the present, since God’s law does NOT change (well, save for maybe dietary restrictions and/or mixed fabrics).
3. Actually, being trans IS bad. In fact, Deuteronomy 22:5 even explicitly states it’s outlawed to a man to wear a woman’s outfit and a woman to wear a man’s outfit.
“Also, there’s plenty of misogyny in the Bible.  And the Bible condones slavery, too.  Do you think that’s alright, too?”
The Bible’s reference to slavery actually referred to indentured servants or, you know, people holding jobs. If anything, God also didn’t like the kind of slavery you alluded to since... well, the Book of Exodus made that much very clear.
“Homosexuality is not a choice.  This has been proven before, you’re just a bigot.”
Homosexuality IS a choice, and even if it wasn’t, it’s a mental disorder, which means it needs to be cured. And that “proof” was homosexuals outright intimidating the APA into removing it from the list of disorders. It’s like saying psychopathy is not a problem just because it got removed from the DSM book while disregarding that it only got removed because psychopaths actually intimidated the guys writing the book into removing it. There’s even a term for it, “zapping the shrinks”, and in fact, the guy most instrumental in getting it removed,  Frank Kameny, outright admitted they got it removed due to outright intimidating them, or to quote him, “ At that point they were afraid to say no to us. So they said yes. “.
“Also, people often later discover they’re not the gender or sexuality they thought they were, so jot that down.  That’s not “choosing”, that’s self-discovery.  And please, characters are hardly ever confirmed as straight.  You just think they are because it’s the norm.”
When previous seasons or comics or what have you depicted the characters as actually dating, heck, even marrying the opposite sex without any indication of NOT being attracted to them, it’s pretty obvious they were in fact straight. “Self-discovery” is a stupid excuse to force a character to change. And for the record, the only reason my cousin became a lesbian was because a psychologist outright said that she was that just because she had some trouble with dating men, and my own mom was upset at the whole thing when she learned of it. And just as an FYI, it’s actually pretty common for homosexuals to become homosexual due to being molested by a sexual predator. It happened with George Takei, and it happened with the guy who founded the so-called “LGBT rights”, Karl Ulrichs. They even admit it, though aren’t willing to confront that they were in fact molested.
“And “ex-homosexuals”??? Either a) they found out they weren’t gay, or b) were victim to conversion therapy.  For the record, conversion therapy is abhorrent and should be outlawed.”
I am of the opposite view, that homoseuxality needs to ultimately be cured. Besides, considering the lifestyle has several maladies associated with it, not just STDs, but even being more prone to infections, it’s pretty clear it’s ultimately for their sake to do conversion therapy on them. Besides, what makes you think that the gay person DOESN’T want conversion therapy? What if said gay person actually REQUESTS conversion therapy? Should you refuse him?
“As for that CDC bullshit, homophobic studies don’t count.  And it’s literally well-documented that the healthcare issues LGBTQ people face is because of homophobia and transphobia.  You can even google this.”
Considering Google has been busted for trying to manipulate search results recently, I don’t think that telling me to do so is really good enough proof. Besides, I’m going by actual medical statistics posted by the CDC.
“Also, you can’t use the d slur if you are not a lesbian yourself.  If you do, you’re a lesbophobe.”
N-word priviledges, eh? Well, I never bought that. My idea is, if it’s bad for one to use that word, it’s bad for ALL people to use it, yes, even lesbians. And quite frankly, God already made it clear that homosexuality is a sin, multiple times, including in the New Testament, so whether I am a lesbophobe (that’s a new one) or not is ultimately irrelevant.
“And for the record, I’m not left-wing, and I certainly don’t support communism.”
Really? Because you sure are sounding like you do. And for the record, most leftists DO support homosexuality. Just ask Sartre and Foucault.
"You realize there are other choices between communism and capitalism, right?”
No, actually, there are not. Even Socialism is the same as Communism.
“And I don’t support misogynists, even if they aren’t conservative.”
It’s pointless since you probably won’t read this anyways, but prove it. Walk the walk instead of just talk the talk, to borrow an old cliche. Actually condemn the examples I listed of leftists doing that.
“And Pro-Life does NOT mean you’re not a misogynist. You literally don’t think women can do what they want with their own bodies.  And you apparently think a women should have to carry her rapist’s baby, so yeah, you’re a misogynist.”
First of all, Pro-life means defending the baby’s life, which is the most defenseless individual out there. When you’re literally advocating for abortion, you’re advocating for child murder, and what does that make you? Besides, rapists also can demand an abortion just to get rid of any evidence to their rape, so it’s actually disingenous to claim that rapists would want to keep the baby alive. Besides, there’s a little thing called “adoption”. Just because the baby is carried to term doesn’t mean the mother must raise that baby if it was conceived by rape. If she doesn’t want to deal with the fact that she was raped, she can always place the baby into adoption. In fact, NCIS actually dealt with that bit with the character Jack Sloane (and despite the name, Jack’s a woman, a biological woman at that. Jack stands for Jacqueline in this case.). She was raped in college while drunk, yet she still carried the baby to term, and despite clearly loving her newborn daughter, nevertheless put her into adoption largely because she really couldn’t deal with the painful memories of the rape. Ayame from Dead or Alive was a similar case, genuinely loving her daughter Ayane, despite the fact that she existed because Raidou raped her one night. Didn’t have an abortion, but put her into adoption largely thanks to her husband Shiden. And what if the woman DOESN’T want the abortion at all? Besides, the Suffragettes such as Susan B. Anthony were also against abortions, and if anything, they specifically stated that men would use abortions to keep women dependent on men.
“And “let autism define you”…I’m autistic.  And upapologetically so.  So, apparently you just have some internalized ableism.”
Yeah, I have autism as well, and unapologetically as well. But I don’t use it as a crutch (in fact, rarely see the need to reference it specifically to avoid using it as an excuse), so no, I don’t have internalized ableism.
“That’s not what a Pokémon Stylist is.  Serena was a Pokémon Performer.   Pokémon Stylists got their own episode in DP.  See, this is why you shouldn’t try to complain about shows you don’t watch.”
Fine, I stand corrected there. However, after looking it up on Bulbapedia after you mentioned that it’s not the same as Pokemon Performers, it nevertheless made it VERY clear from various characters such as Paris and Hermione that they were similar to Pokemon Coordinators, and in fact, Paris even specifically stated it was a subset of Pokemon Coordinators, so my point about their similarities still stands right there.
“Lmfao, did you really just play the whole “you’re the real bigot” card??? I’m not a bigot for having no tolerance for intolerance.  There is NO REASON I should tolerate intolerance.  YOU are still the bigot.  A bigot is someone who holds prejudice against other groups, such as LGBTQ people, women, people of color, people with disabilities, etc.  YOU fit that bill, especially considering your hatred of LGBTQ people.”
Oh really? Because you seem to be intolerant towards straight people, christians, and all of those types of people, or any traditionally minded women as well. Like an SJW in other words. And for the record, it doesn’t matter what I myself think, what matters is what God thinks since He is in charge of everything. Besides, according to the dictionary, a Bigot is “obstinate and unreasoning attachment to one’s own beliefs and opinions, with intolerance of beliefs opposed to them; also acts or beliefs ensuing from such a condition”, which if anything describes you to a T. At least I make sure to take into account any mistakes I made and admit I’ve made some mistakes in my prior analysis when you point them out (case in point, the bit about Serena having a Stylist goal).
“And people can learn things from another person in ways that don’t involve giving pointers, genius.”
The entire POINT of learning involves being given pointers. That’s even why School exists, not to mention why parents tend to teach their kids life skills.
“I really hope you wake up someday and become a better person, but I doubt you will.”
What you’re acting like is not what God defines as a better person.
“Have fun being an awful and hate-filled person.”
Seriously? I’m the one who at least gave you a chance to talk, and even corrected bits of my analysis that were mistaken. You refused to correct yourself for anything like that. Not to mention you tended to rely on insults and SJW talking points. If anything, you’re the awful and hate-filled person. Nice projection, BTW. And fine, was getting tired of you anyway.
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