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thirstyforred · 5 years

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Forlorn IV - Trick or Treat

written for @tyrias-library Halloween Fanfic Week 2019

and now something completely different, also the whole thing is now on ao3

"Lemmie just set up the recording and we can start..."

"So? What exactly are we writing here? Like an interview or article, or something?"

"Just a short article about your plans for Halloween. But I want to try this new recording crystal in case this is the day I finally make you spill the beans... "

"You're not my therapist..."

[barelly audible] "Thanks the Six, I'm not. [normal volume] Halloween! Do you celebrate it and if yes, how? What are your Halloween traditions?"

"Well, I celebrate it, but I think it's more a krytan tradition."

"I see... Oswald Thorn is a figure from human history, but he also every year invades the Lion's Arch. Wouldn't you say that it's more like we all have to deal with him?"

"Yeah, I guess. It's just that growing up in Ascalon, ghosts kind of lost their novelty on me."

"Wait, aren't you a norn?..."

"It's kind of a stupid question."

"I'm sorry, it's just..."

"Nah, it's ok. I was born in Hoelbrak, but my parents were trades so we moved around a lot. Mostly in Ascalon, you know trading back and forth with the charr."

"I see... We will have to set up another meeting for that story. Back to Halloween, now... So, you don't feel any kind of thrill when the Mad Realm mixes with our old Tyria, that's it?"

"Not really. You know, adult life is already so goddamn weird. The powerful spirit of a guy wearing a pumpkin on his head decides to invade us for 3 weeks just to tell his lame jokes? This might as well just happen. But I try to have some good time anyway. Eat an unholy amount of sweets and beating the Mad King in "Mad Kings Says"."

"So, in the end, you do celebrate like any other tyrian."

[laugh] "Yeah, I think we all, all citizens of Tyria, now need some kind of therapy. Shit goes weird all the time and we're like "Oh, it's just Tuesday".”

"Do you also wear costumes?"

"Of course, dressing up is so much fun! Last year I did the Lunatic Court with my friends, but for this year I'm still not set on a single idea. I heard that Palawa Joko is getting popular."

"Sexy Joko?"

"Is there any other Joko than Sluty Joko? [laugh] No, that would be in bad taste. And also I don't want to be killed on the spot if Mad King sees me."

"Oh, so the gossips are true? They hate each other?"

"Ooh, don't even get me started... There's this whole mascarade going on to keep any news that we defeated Joko, from Thorn's ears. If he ever hears about his beloved archnemesis being actually dead, he would invade us for real. [beat] Could you not print this part? I'm too young to be beheaded."

"Of course. You say you have some other ideas for a costume, care to share? Is it Bloody Prince Thorn?"

"The twinkiest twink? Nah, I was actually thinking about Mr. Gum Drops."

"Pardon, who?"

"Gum Drops. Mad King Thorn's invisible pet pony. [beat] Don't look at me like that, half of Lion's Arch will be mummies or skeletons or other shit. I'm trying to be innovative."

"Commander. If you wish to dress up as an invisible horse..."

"Pony..."

"Pony... so be it, but with all due respect: that's the worst idea I have ever heard. And remember I heard a lot of your bad ideas."

"I could make it sexy, you know."

"Invisible pony? I truly doubt."

"You're the worst interviewer, you know it?"

"And yet, I'm the only one that manages to turn your rambling into readable content."

[muttering] "And what you're dressing up as this year? Steve the labyrinths nightmare?"

"No, my fiance and I are doing Tequatl the Sunless, he will move front legs and head, and I take care of the back and wings."

"Nerds..."

"Well... You said that Mr. Pony was only one of your ideas. What was the other?"

"Bria the Ascalonian necromancer. She lures, kills and then eats cubs in the Iron Marches."

[barely audible] "That's fucking obscure. [normal volume] Very in your style. Anyway, I think that's enough for today, it supposed to be only a short piece. Editors need extra space from this year's reprint of Mad King's story. You want to see next week, to start on that "Norn in the Ascalon" story? Though I have a feeling it will be more than a single article."

"No, tomorrow we're set to Gorthmar Valley, and then to beat the shit out of Jormag. I'll send you a word once we get back. Bye!"

"Of course, see ya! [long beat] Wait, did she say Jormag?"

#only dialog #tyriaslibrary #tyriaslibrary halloween prompt #gw2 #gw2 fanfiction #norn commander #thirsty vs gw2 #My writing #nam solvsson

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