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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 6 months

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Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child #for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but #pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard?#i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age #but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all #and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected #and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement #and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw #until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge #in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug?#i would. a million times over.#anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright #its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam #irl #personal

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averlym · 8 months

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,,, little lemmings in line...

#adamandi #needed this. idk. shameless fluff. i. sjdhdjfhfhfhfhf viewing this doodle just makes me happy ok #something silly. i feel like lately i've been a lot more earnest on this blog and it's nice!!#the imagery that the lyrics evoke.... goes so hard actually. consider this maybe an outtake of the last 'where can i run' thingy #yes i get the whole lemmings off a cliff thing but also i think taking it at face value would be cute therefore this #since basically they refer to the rest of the students as lemmings.. he's human in this one i guess.#quincent thoughts. many many. but also i have been maybe avoiding engaging with quincy on a more intense level? until i am in a better #mental state to do so. because the whole academic perfection and self harm is a Thing i would like to engage with Properly without spirals #yay on me for being healthy about media! not normal and never normal. but healthy is good i guess #... hm. family is being iffy lately because you're supposed to have good acads And not stressed but i refuse to feel guilty anymore.#after this period i'll go bonkers over him and in the meantime unfortunately they won't feature as much in the content.. :<#anyways. fun fact about lemmings is that it's not necessarily a derogatory blindly leaping to deaths thing when it comes to the actual ones #like that's the phrasing and connotation right. but apparently it's more of they leap off cliff into water below or smth to migrate and onl #the rare few die (skill issue??um) and apparently the whole association was propagated by some documentary wildlife drama thing that kind o #.... hastened the chasing of the poor things off the cliff and filmed it. a bit messed up. and like i guess what a nice metaphor for the #academic context here? or a different one at least. where only a few die so they keep doing it but also for the Average lemming following #following the system is not inherently bad.. maybe i'm projecting.#anyways peep the tiny character shorthands now.. ambrose has the jacket/ bea has the hat and gloves with strings: portia has the bow on hea #quincy has the bowtie and glasses /(beatrix also has glasses. i forgot about those until i was drawing quincy's.)#'avvy why are they standing up' you ask? because four legs looked weird with ambrose's jacket. 'why did you give lemmings glasses?' ummmmm #i guess recognisability? don't look too much into it #outtakes of this include vincent standing in a circle of lemmings. it's badly drawn and frankly hilarious because they're all tiny and #below the knee.#'avvy these don't look like realistic lemmings' you are very right. i am sorry. i looked for a crowd of lemmings on google images and all i #found were political cartoons... i Can draw animals technically i swear #anyways! emotional support adamandi doodle out. going to start work now!#oh i forgot to tag the characters... hm... i guess i'll leave out the lemmings..#?#vincent aurelius lin #.

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aho-dapa · 2 months

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This fandom is honestly...

Like, there is something to be said about fandoms in general and how they've changed as a whole generally but

There's also something about how the acotar fandom is especially toxic like

The idea that a post is surprised a murder hasn't happened yet and I found myself agreeing??? Is honestly telling

Like, also. A massive part of this is shipping and maybe it's because I have my corner of this fandom, but even then shipping the "wrong" thing in general has become something I honestly have to take in consideration when thinking of my mental health and if I can personally be prepared for any backlash??

This fandom at large doesn't feel safe and that's majorly concerning tbh

Maybe instead of saying shippers as a group are doing harm, we should just disavow harmful actions in general and not be complicit in it idk???

#anyway #just having thoughts #anti sjm #like I'm also pro Tamlin? and that doesn't help #i had to stop making intensive tamlin posts because my mental health honestly couldn't handle the constant discourse #which is sad when people genuinely come with the intent to discuss but since its all horrible in general I end up not having a lot of #emotional space to have a good conversation most of the time sighhhh #i also just end up blocking people in general when my timeline messes up my interests but #i have yet to block main ship tags because I still want to interact with my side of fandom on it but I'm sooooooo close to blocking #main tags because some people are vile on here #don't even get me started on gwyn because people end up saying shit they shouldn't be just because of shipping #and I don't have any personal feelings about gwyn but the way people say she's not important as a character gives me the ick tbh #like I get it from a sjm is a terrible writer standpoint #but gwyn did have narrative importance in acosf despite however I feel about how it coulf have been better written #and also as a character that is very explicitly a SA survivor some people here need to THINK about how they talk about her

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todayisafridaynight · 1 month

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do u think mines feelings are reciprocated? idk from how they handled mine and daigos relationship in y3 it felt as if they were hinting that they had some under the radar relationship going on or smtging

im not sure really. i do think daigo loved mine though, at the very least cherished him immensely.

#snap chats #hang on im rambling about rggo for the ninety millionth time #cause i was gonna initially say 'i dont think his feelings were as intense as mine's but he did love him'#but then i remember daigo shilled out a billion and got shot Day Five into knowing the dude #that could just be daigo's character and he's just. Ride Or Die like that for ANYONE close to him #he was happy to give shinada all the money he lost even though the two were mostly just schoolmates #which is. The Funniest thing to me still but anyway #but isn't mine like that too? the circumstances are different of course though ..#theres the angle that its as exactly daigo says: the tojo are his family and he wants to protect them #but then that bar fuckery ...... everything homosexual happens at that bar i stg #im crying now cause first theres the obvious You Single line #but then the bartender fuckin snitchin on daigo to mine bein all #'oh yeah no daigo talks about you a lot and says youre one of the most reliable guys in the tojo #and he's afraid you're not being yourself around him and he hopes your relationship with money is ok' LKE YOU SNITCH #i still think of daigo calling mine 'stupid' at the end of that story though. lke girl .... girl i know why yu sayin that ...#my sons pissed mine threw himself away thinkin he wasnt worthy to daigo when it was the exact opposite ..#im gonnna thrw up now bye

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eeblouissant · 2 months

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15, 19, and 20 for the golden wives if you want!! That ask game is so cute omg

“do they always say I love you before leaving (a room, the house, etc)?”

Yes!! oh yes & all three of them do it in different ways imo!

Dorothy isn’t afraid to tell either (or both) of them that she loves them, it’s getting into specific thoughts & feelings that intimidates her (& ends in her shutting herself off most times). So she does, but she will never leave a room completely until the other(s) confirm that they’ve heard her. Yelling an ‘i love you (both)’ across the room & getting a response can be enough for her. Rose will normally come running to give her a quick kiss & Blanche follows behind to admire!! Not that she doesn’t also want to steal a kiss, and she will if she feels so inclined, but sometimes standing back & getting the look from Dorothy for smiling so unashamed while roses smothers her is exactly what she wants (she’s a little menace, I don’t make the rules I just follow them).

Rose is just the sweetest of sweethearts (as if that even needs to be said), neither of them leave the house (& most rooms) without a kiss, an I love you, and very often a ‘where are you going?’ (Because she wants to come with!! By the time she’s said that she’s already up & on her feet). She follows the both of them around the house a lot, so they’re never really out of her sight. But when they do leave the house without her she showers them in affection. Hugs & kisses, helping with their coats & shoes, last minute touch ups to hair & makeup, making sure there’s not a thing in the world they could possibly need before they leave– all of it!!

Blanche would be similar to Rose, but heavier on the physical touch side of things. Reaching out for hands/arms/wrists, so so many kisses. But I think hugs are her favourite before one of them leaves the house. Leaving a room I don’t think she’s as conscious of it (saying anything), but she always makes sure they’re a little loved on before leaving the house without her! I think she’d rather tag along whenever she can, so she’s never really saying goodbye to them.

‘How do they feel about PDA?’

oh boy. I think they’re very torn on this one:

For Dorothy it depends, but for the most part it’s a huge nono. Based on my own observation (& a hint of my own hcs) she seems to put her walls up impossibly higher when she’s outside of the house. So anything that could possibly send them crumbling down she’d avoid like the plague (or in this case, give a very stern warning to. Which she wouldn’t enjoy doing, especially not to either of them and especially not to poor Rose. Blanche understands, but rose seems to take it a little harder even after it clicks). I think there’s a chance of her warming up to the idea of a quick kiss on the cheek or linking arms, but it would never go very far on her part. & the others know (and would never cross) that! They know that if Dorothy is interested she’ll make it known.

Rose doesn’t hide her love for them, why would she? & in public the most of that energy gets thrown Blanches’ way (after she comes to understand Dorothy’s situation a little better, she’d never want to make her feel uncomfortable. The guilt would eat her alive). She shows the most affection towards Blanche but always makes sure that Dorothy knows that rose knows she’s also there. & that she loves her just as much. They share a look, & Dorothy smiles, & that’s enough for them.

Blanche, to me, is less touchy than I think most would like to believe. She loves the feeling of having someone (rose, mostly) on her arm or being on (hers). Her & Rose initiate equally & respond similarly. But blanche loves knowing that others know that she’s in love, for one reason or another. She’s not searching for external validation necessarily, I think she’s just a bit possessive. (Dorothy would also be that way, if she became that comfortable. Sort of an internal yes, she’s on my arm because she’s my wife. Jealous?) (and oh how Blanche would feed off jealous looks).

‘Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship’

only one?!!! must I???

Because I can’t choose only one, I’m giving them each a song that I think describes their relationship perfectly from their perspective:

Dorothy: meadows in bloom by Jonathan Bree.

Rose: a lots gonna change by Weyes Blood.

Blanche: get free by lana del rey.

#this was a long one but I had many thoughts #Blanche & her reaching out for their arms/hands… that one moment she tried to grab at Dorothy in the final what if that was my last straw.#<- as soon as I typed ’reaching out for hands’ it came back to me I almost had to step away #the emotions I feel because of that scene are SO intense. you will never catch me watching season 7 ever again no sir #also. it may have slipped my mind for a moment that rose is actually *very* knowledgeable in the world of psychology #so she would tap into what Dorothy’s going through immediately #rose sweetheart I’m so sorry I completely forgot #<- now that I’m thinking about it I think that Blanche would have been the one to struggle with Dorothy’s worries #anyway. just wanted to give rose the credit she deserves because it just slipped my mind #the golden girls #dorothy zbornak #blanche devereaux #rose nylund #golden wives #asks

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wishmemel · 6 months

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only way i got through the day was hallucinating megumi beside me the entire time

#IT WAS SO COLD TODAY #wind was blowing so intensely #i kept picturing megumi walking beside me when i was outside n giving me his jacket #everytime i got distracted i could just hear his voice telling me to focus hehe #i should mention it was my first day back after a week of skipping classes cause i was sick #it was all just a haze but i got through it with hallucination megs !!#we did it guys #anyways he accompanied me to every single class #ngl i literally stepped foot in one of my classes and then #my teacher was like safi great you’re here !! we had a test yesterday that u missed btw n u can make it up right. this. instant!!#and i was like um. okay.#internally panicking #but the test seemed pretty easy so i hope it went well #it was super short too like a little quiz #but i was so surprised help #my friends told me about it n i really thought she’d give me a few days to prepare or smth #anyways guess who’s home now hehe > <#gonna eat smth yummy so i stop feeling dizzy and then lay in bed and do some homework #i have so much #megs is nagging me to finish it #if you read my entire rant then ily and if u skimmed it then ilyt #but if you didn’t read a word and skipped to the end then just know that megumi is flicking your forehead really hard rn #꒰ soon you'll get better. ꒱

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adlamu · 1 month

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i'm in a bad mood rn and it's all because of xwitter ppl thinking and spreading the bs you have to stop writing and making up characters at the age of 30. first of all, writing is the Only thing that i have that people Ever wanna engage with me about, and, second, i am allowed dreams.

#newtrabble #sadboitimez™#it's also the only thing i'm good that and doesn't require me to Prove my knowledge on a special interest (which is tiring) and isn't...#isn't as intense as i apparently am re: “special interests” (i still don't like that phrasing...#). anyway. yeah i just feel like giving up and never speaking again rn #i'll likely feel better once i've had breakfast idk.

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nerosdayinanime · 9 months

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crippling need to draw this image i have of sabigiyuu pressed back to front, giyuu holding onto the arm thats hand is splayed over his stomach/ribs, easily leaning his head back onto sabito's shoulder, his soft barely-there hold on giyuu's neck with their cheeks gently pressed together

#until the vibe to Do Shit comes back just imagine it for me ok? plz? im almost to tears thinking of them being soft #giyuu's trust in him so complete its second-nature and sabito's unwavering support & passion #FUCK GOD DMANIT I CANT USE WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW THEY FUCKING FEEL ABT EACHOTHER. GIYUU BIG DOE EYES @ SABITO LIKE HES HIS ENTIRE WORLD &#SABITO HOLDING HIM LIKE EVWRYTHING HE NEEDS IS RIGHT THERE IN HIS HANDS.#FUCK #GOD THEY MAKE ME FUCKING INSANE I CANT EXPRESS HOW INTENSE IT IS AT THE SAME TIME. THEYRE EACHOTHER'S *EVERYTHING* SABITO'S PASSION GIVEN #DIRECTION & GIYUU'S UTTER DEVOTION HAVING SOMEWHERE TO SHINE #THERES A REASON VIGI!AU SABITO THOUGHT FAKING HIS DEATH WAS THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP THEM BOTH ALIVE & REGRETTED IT SO DEEPLY ANYWAY #CLAN AU: SHIT MARRIAGE +ADULTERY GIYUU BROKEN AND HURTING YEARNING FOR SCRAPS AND SABITO BEING THERE TO HEAL HIS WOUNDS & GIVE HIM FEASTS #THEY WANT TO GIVE EACHOTHER THE WORLD THEY WANT TO GIVE EACHOTHER THEIR VERY SELVES FOR THE CHANCE OF HAVING KNOWN THEY WERE LOVED #WHOLLY AND UNHESITATING #i need to make them worse in my aus theyre not unhinged about eachother enough they need to be sewn together at the hip souls entwined #auuhuhh #i need to go to sleep #sorry for the mental illness moment ill do it again #sabigiyuu #loserboy giyuu posting #fratboy sabito posting #sabito #giyuu

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raayllum · 1 year

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anyway because the inspiration and oneshot list grows every day here’s the updated list, in no particular order (all rayllum focused unless stated otherwise)

non rayllum

less: Claudia learns from Viren that Rayla was the one who killed him. She looks back on her decision to hand over the coins in a new light. Terry POV, Terry/Claudia, angst

pre-s4 (set during timeskip)

a frightening thought: Soren thinks he may be falling in love with Corvus. This is a problem for more reasons than one. Soren&Callum with equal Sorvus and Rayllum focus

Breathtaking: Ezran visits the Storm Spire three times. Callum does not.

i think i am finally clean: Rayla decides to go back to Katolis.

during s4

blink and you miss it (ch2-4; angst, hurt/comfort, some fluff)

i’d kill just to watch as you’re sleeping (ch2): Rayla tends to Callum post-possession until he wakes up, and a little bit afterwards. Also features Rayla&Zubeia talks (in between 4x04 and 4x05)

still left with his hands (ch3): Dolling out bedrolls in the Drakewood is easier said than awkwardly done. Missing scene from 4x05

i fell onto love like a sword (ch4): Thoughts once Callum comes back to rest after their “you need to kill me” conversation in 4x07.

post-s4

The Snitch: Ezran acts as Stella’s translator and Callum learns a little more about just how much Rayla loves him. Fluff

and if you find me, will you know me?: Callum finds out why Soren and Rayla were separated in the Drakewood, and Rayla has some reckoning to do. Angst hurt/comfort

out damned spot: Callum finally learns why Rayla came back and wishes he hadn’t. Angst, hurt/comfort

(you’re) a crisis of my faith: As Stella’s connection to the Star arcanum grows, Rayla is haunted by dreams of the lives she could’ve had in contrast to the one she does. Possible three-shot depending on length

speculative s5

(this fall) might just kill me: At Rayla’s prompting, Callum goes to the Sunfire elves to attempt to purify himself from dark magic. It doesn’t go as planned. [Fluffier than it sounds I promise]

i could dive so deep i never come out: Season five, featuring talks and Callum and Rayla on a boat. Fluff, hurt/comfort co-written with thosefiveadoraburrs

if it’s not you, it’s not anyone: Their Tidebound elf guide is a little too friendly towards Rayla. Callum doesn’t know how to feel about it, never mind what to do about it. co-written with thosefiveadoraburrs

#rayllum #anyway im Thriving #if u have a preference for what gets posted first put it in the replies / ur tags #if you send me asks for one i will give you snippets #tdp #clauderry #arc 2 #upcoming #god willing i will have at least half of these out my new years #i fell out of the writing groove a bit bc i think october was just so intense but i Will get myself back into it goddammit #s4 #can you tell i've been obsessed with rayllum + death motifs lately #u Know it's bad when i bust out the keaton henson lyrics #last one is tidebound elf guy being a genuine bro who is also (understandbly) interested in a distracted/oblivious rayla #and callum has so many other feelings he's trying to process and is accordingly a klutz with this one too #only two titles with brackets?? i'm impressed with myself #dragons rambles #tag ramble

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 6 months

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I did mostly finish the color-coding btw though I need to go back over it when I feel less Weird (possibly a product of dehydration, I have since had food and chugged some water) and I'm going to work on the essay some more bc the color-coding itself is not the most like. clear about what I'm getting at. but I have accomplished Something :)

#the song is like. one person saying hey there's hope btw don't get stuck in the shit. and the other person being like BUT HERE'S HOW I FEEL #which is intensely relatable to me akfjakgnskvnskv #anyway. I was being so weird about it all day I figured I better give an update akdkfnakfjs #Lu rambles

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vaedar · 7 months

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𝐎𝐎𝐂; I apparently only posted this when it was a WIP couple of years ago but never posted the 'finished' greyscale piece so I am posting here now just to share... Vaedar and his winged baby, Azaes.

#i have such an intense need to draw but when i sit down to do that....#ofc i am interrupted and it breaks the moment and i get so stressed #and i can feel how am associating the drawing with stress which is not good at all just because i can't sit down to focus on drawing #it's a vicious cycle that i am constantly working through but lately all i can do is quick line arts and always using refs #cuz that's all the time i can make for with as less interruptions as possible... it why i'm gravitating to writing over drawing cuz #dont mind the interruptions as much while writing cuz it easier it doesn't require as much focus as drawing for me #i dont have trouble i think with line art cuz that's what i can do quick but i need a lot of practice for greyscale and color #which is what requires most focus and rhythm.. but i will not give up ok drawing is when i feel alive #but wow yes anyway i rambled am sorry xD just have vae and his big dragon bby #[ d r a g o n l o r d ] vaedar #[ f i r e made f l e s h ] dragons #gallery #mine

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 7 months

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megumi 🤝🏽 yuuji

dying even if it’s only for a good minute only to be brought back to life bc fate realizes if they died for real then they would need to find someone else to fuck over. those two are like fates favorite barbie dolls.

apologies if this post is going to seem all over the place, just bear with me. i don’t even know if you’re going to see this BUT it’s okay bc i need to get this out my system 😭.

starting off — god, imagine the chaos that will ensue when megumi tells nobara & yuuji about his very tragic history with the zenins. but like he wouldn’t even tell them straight up, he’ll just make a little deadpan joke (my sarcastic, sassy son) & the others would look at him like : ??? wtf do you mean by that sea urchin head???

like imagine itafushikugi going shopping for like traditional japanese clothes for a little festival or some shit (megumi was dragged by his spikes to come along) & nobara is having the time of her life finding outfits for her & the boys. like it got to the point where she’s dressing them herself & she shows megumi an outfit that looked similar to the robe he was forced to wear bc of the zenin (it’s obviously not the same) & megumi just refuses to wear a robe with similar color patterns to the zenin robe.

megumi: that looks like the outfit the zenin forced me to wear. i wonder what happened to it, cause the last thing i know, i got blood all over it. so as the second member of the zenin hate club, im not wearing that….

megumi: wait that blue one looks decent. i’m going to try it on.

nobara:

yuuji:

nobara: …did he really leave without giving us the “ getting blood on a zenin’s robe” story?

imagine maki complaining about naoya in front of the first years, & maki just brings up naoya’s onesided beef with megumi & her stories of how naoya was so petty back in his childhood made him remember who tf naoya is (megs have selective memory, it’s okay)

megumi: ugh, he was so annoying. i remember when he came to my middle school back when gojo was busy dealing with the aftermath of his evil ex boyfriend evil plan & he basically kidnapped me. i was stuck in a car with that man for 40 minutes..you would hate him nobara.

maki: yeah you would hate him nobara.

yuuji: i’m sorry he kidnapped you??? why did you say that so casually?

nobara: fuck that. megumi is a disney princess, we know this already. BUT we’re just gonna gloss over gojo had an evil boyfriend?

& imagine when megumi finally tells his friends about the zenin clan was when yuuji just came back from the dead & they were asking how tf that’s possible. & somewhere in that conversation megumi just let it slip that his heart stopped beating once & itakugi looks at him in silence:

megumi: yeah the zenin clan basically forced me to exorcise some curses & complete a ritual to get a snake — that snake fucking bit me. it was my least favorite. but yeah i basically died. then yuuta brought me back. then i was blind for a good minute.

nobara, yuuji, & even sukuna:

megumi: it was a terrible time for me. gojo was even more clingier & protective. it got to a point where he started treating me like i was 6 again… reading me bedtime stories, singing me lullabies & describing the pictures in the stories since i was…yknow blind.

cue itakugi & even sukuna wanting to burn down the zenin but ofc they can’t do that…so they settle for pulling pranks on the members & traumatizing them ofc.

IM ALSO imagining how funny it would be for yuuji to be jealous of yuuta. like bro is basically living yuuji’s fantasy world. i’m giggling at the idea of yuuji fighting for his life to be either megumi favorite or nanami’s favorite.

you also opened my eye to the potential of maki & tsumiki… like i also like to imagine that in a happier world, they would understand each other on such a deep level. but they would also find parts of the other that they wished they had. but on a happier note i like to imagine that megumi would suffer whenever it was brought up that his aunt is basically dating his step sister. like maki would be a menace to megumi. every little thing he do? maki is texting tsumiki in a corner.

maki watching itafushi cook together in the kitchen: i can’t believe megumi has a boyfriend. it’s so cute that he thinks that he can hide this from me. lemme go snitch to tsumiki.

maki listening to megumi describe his fight with sukuna, a cursed spirit who apparently has a stripping problem: oh my god. megumi is truly yuuta’s boy. they both got cursed spirits obsessed with them…i need to tell tsumiki.

maki to megumi after witnessing his suicidal tendencies: don’t make me tell tsumiki.

i honestly love your story. the way you added so much more to megumi childhood is beautiful. it just make soooo much sense. but also your characterization of gojo is so precious to me. i’m waiting for gojo to go apeshit on the zenin. i’m also giggling in anticipation at gojo finding out about yuuta attachment to megumi. i like to imagine him to be kind of worried about it actually, bc that’s not fucking healthy. but i imagine him getting used to it since megumi will have a protector in the form of yuuta & his power of love.

i’m also curious to see mai’s role in this story since.

*sighs in disappointment at gege writing choices*

since she had a crush on megumi…yeah. but imma just interpret that as she wants to be his family. it keeps me sane

i also wanted to ask if there’s a chance that you would write a megumi POV of what happened in the zenin clan? ofc i would understand if you wouldn’t since it leaves a much more ominous feeling to the events. plus yuuta running commentary is a good mix of angst & humor so ofc i understand.

Yuuji: man fushiguro almost checks the boxes for a Disney princess. except he was never kidnapped or enslaved

Megumi, sold to the Zenin clan, who later kidnapped him: *sweating*

Nobara and Yuuji would be the co-vice presidents of the "fuck the Zenin clan" club if they knew what happened. They would be the presidents but yuuta and maki are already in a death match for the position and they're trying to avoid the bloodshed. they are not allowed to be treasurer because neither of them know how money works.

megumi is unaware that a formal club has been formed.

Megumi is suffering SO HARD in any world where maki and tsumiki are together. they won't stop ganging up on him when it comes to his love life and general wellbeing and holding hands where he has to see it. maki lectures him about his suicidal tendencies in the field, holds up one finger, calls tsumiki, and lets her pick up where she left off. maki tries to talk to him about relationships one (1) time and he tries to drown himself.

see i'm pretty open to writing a megumi POV but it, like most of my stories, falls in this nebulous category of "if i have the time." like, i've thought about writing megumi's pov before, there's a lot of stuff that happened that exists as like, background knowledge for me that will never make it through yuuta's pov because it doesn't make sense for yuuta to find out about it. It would be very tonally different, but if i did write it, it would be a different work entirely and i'd be making sea glass gardens into a series.

i'm eternally tempted by the siren call of making my works into a series. If i did it with sea glass gardens, i would want to add a one shot of Megumi's pov during the time leading up to sea glass gardens and a short multi-chapter of the gojo, nanami, shoko teen parenting trio. If I have the time, it will exist; if i don't, it won't.

#ironically the one thing that WOULD endear yuuta to yuuji is finding out about all of this #yuuji would instantly love him for all he did for Their Boy. it's the only way i see megumi actually fessing up to what happened #i think megumi's just someone who's really private and uncomfortable with people knowing a lot about him and he would try to hide this from #itakugi for as long as he could. it probably eats at him that the second years all saw him like this. i think he just hates feeling vulnera #megumi gives him the /extremely/ abridged version of events to get yuuji and nobara to chill about yuuta and how he acts (yuuji is convince #that there's no one who could be that perfect nobara keeps looking for homosexual explanations) and they instantly veer hard into finding #out everything there is to know about the zenin and how to hurt them and also yuuta's like. beloved in their eyes. megumi is their boy.#they love their boy. yuuta saved their boy. ergo they love yuuta now. it's simple math.#tonal shift is a huge sort of struggle with me as a writer just because i change my styles with every narrator #which is why it's kind of hard to flip between works if the tone is too different. i was trying to juggle sea glass gardens and toy rosarie #and i was just internally screaming b/c yuuta and jack could NOT be more different with narration styles and i was like 'fuckkkkkkkkk'#with yuuta i structure sentences with a lot of 'space' in them. i don't have a better word for it i'm not actually trained in writing so #it's all just whatever shit i made up along the way i have no officially terms. anyway. Yuuta's sentences are structured to have this sort #of detached distance between the actual message and the start of the sentence. So we end up with a lot of sentences that start w/ structure #like “yuuta thinks” and Yuuta feels“ b/c I think of yuuta as a very detached person because of how he lived. it's a survival mechanism.#a lot of the meat of what he feels has to come in almost absentmindedly. So you end up with Yuuta's suicide scene and losing the knife and #him having a line like “He swears he never meant any of the bad things he did” and the fact that he thinks his own survival is a bad thing #/he's/ to blame for is almost backdoor'd in as a given premise. it's assumed. it's not even the point of the sentence. he's been living wit #jack murdock meanwhile is an intensively retrospective character that's meant to make you almost feel claustrophobic from how “close” his #narration style is. a lot of the actual message is conveyed through imagined scenarios and emotional recollection. he's a character steeped #in regret who has been torturing himself with it for years. yuuta's survival mechanism is isolation but jacks been yearning to get back wha #he lost for so long and dreaming of it that he's steeped in really vivid internal imaginings.#with jack you have multipage lamentations remembering his son buying cereal with him but yuuta drops the fact that his parents stopped #loving him at some point and it's not even the most important thing in the sentence. it's included as a qualifier because yuuta has accepte #so much of the bad things that happened to him when he shouldn't have whereas jack hasn't accepted ANYTHING that happened.#Yuuta uses a lot of very clean cut grammatically correct narration and jacks is riddled with a bunch of “ain't's” and grammatical errors.#he has an accent for lack of a better term. so you end up w/ two characters who convey information in different ways prioritize different #info in their sentences use different sentence structures etc. so megumi would have a /very different/ style and tone from yuutas that woul #sort of shape any fic that came through him because all of my fics are primarily shaped through the narrator's voice. it's also why I set #kind of hard lines about whether a fic can have any narrator or just specific narrators b/c it determines the whole tone.

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