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jq37 · 3 months

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The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 3 Fast Times at Fantasy High

Welcome back to Fantasy High! It’s a very exciting episode because something that we rarely see in this show about high schoolers studying at an adventuring academy is happening: The Bad Kids are actually going to class.

But first, they have to get to school. Riz, unsurprisingly, arrives first. On a big old 30 Investigation roll (+11 to a 19), overnight he did a deep dive into what everyone needs to do to get into a good college. Fig is actually doing great. If she would just go to her classes, she’d be fine. Kristen on the other hand is in serious trouble seeing as allowing your god to die is pretty much an auto-fail for a cleric. Fabian and Gorgug are both solid students with good extracurriculars. Their main hurdle is going to be the MCAT–the Multiclass Achievement Test. In order to multiclass, you need to get permission from your current advisor and pass the test. Then you can take 3/4 of each track for a 150% course load. And then, of course, he and Adaine are the party nerds so they’re doing great. They could maybe add some extracurriculars but they’re model students.

RIz also has done some research about possible college options: Astral State University (where they visited in the one shot), CUS Dabus (in the City of Doors), Bastion City University (who are doing big, world changing stuff), the Society of Shadows (the rogues only group that forces you to leave your life and friends behind that Penny Luckstone refused to join in The Seven), and–most hilarious but also saddest–Lord Salazar Edge's College of Lone Adventurers (which we learn in the AP was a Murph pitch, lol).

Back at Mordred, Adaine is doing her best to get her less studious friends up and ready for school, going as far as casting Friends on them to get them in the car. Fig willingly fails and Kristen–who really wants to be convinced–sets the DC at 10 and gives Adaine the Help action. Before they get to the car, Lydia (Ragh’s awesome mom) slaps a toxic looking blue energy drink from Kristen’s hands and gives them all full trash bags full of food for lunch (she’s used to feeding half-orc athlete Barb Ragh, not three spellcasters).

Jawbone loads them in the car and, on the way to school, they hear the song of the summer which is this emo anthem. When they meet Riz, he’s super excited to see everyone and show them their dossiers. He even made one for Adaine just for fun even though she doesn’t need any help and she loves it. What she (and Riz) don’t love however is Fig’s new school plan which, as we learned last week, is to enroll in something other than bard classes and then go to her bard classes (since a part of her isn’t going because she has chronic Stick-It-To-The-Man-Itis). Riz and Adaine try to figure out if they can gaslight Fig into going to her classes or hack the system somehow.

Back at the Thistlespring tree, Gorgug is doing some last minute pre-school work: creating his homunculus (which is kind of like an artificer’s familiar). It’s a hastily made archaeopteryx (flying dino thing, if you know Pokemon, think Archeops) that’s light on the feathers. He accidentally names it Cloaca (a birds multipurpose excrement chute) which his parents love because it’s spreading awareness of non-traditional bodies. Then they launch into a story about mermaid reproduction that I’m not gonna get into because not even Gorgug wanted to hear it. He’s clearly anxious about his skills because he feels his parents disapprove of the bird even though they’ve never been anything other than 200% supportive of him in their lives.

He gets a ride to school and his friends meet Cloaca, who he nicknames Chloe–the name I’ll be using even though the Bad Kids of course will exclusively call it Cloaca. Riz hands Gorgug his file which he reviews along with the letters from his parents. It’s a lot of the same info except that one of the letters is a rejection re: Multiclassing with a note to talk to his advisor (Porter, the Barb teacher who Fig hates).

Fabian shows up, starving and shabbily dressed without Cathilda to take care of him–she’s still in Leviathan. The girls share their trash bag food with him which he wolfs down gratefully. (When he mentions his parents are away, Fig seems surprised that Gilear left. Interesting to note for future eps because that feels out of character for their relationship). Anyway, he mistakes Chloe for a piece of trash because is it really the first day of school if Fabian doesn’t insult Gorgug (accidentally this time. progress!) and then the bell rings. As it does, the Bad Kids look around and realize something strange: they’re Juniors now. That means more than half the kids here are younger than them now. They’re not the Freshmen they once were.

The Sorc Prof (Jace Stardiamond) is filling in as VP while Gilear is away and as he makes an announcement on the intercom, Fig almost falls into an open construction pit (a SECOND construction based incident) but is saved when she’s hit with an armful of gym equipment instead. Put that on the Faeth luck swap conspiracy board. Anyway, Jace also says that Aguefort is gonna be out so they have a new Principal: Emergency Backup Interim Principal Grix. The Bad Kids have never heard of this guy before.

In the spot where they saw Dane and Penelope campaigning to bring back Prom Court their first year, the Bad Kids now see a table for Student Gov manned by Jawbone and a minotaur student he seems to know: Mazey Phaedra–a senior and the student body prez. She’s also based on a Scottish Highland cow which isn’t important to the story but it is important to me because those cows are super cute. Riz suggests they sign up so they go talk to Mazey who seems cool: She thanks them for saving the world, she knows Ayda, and Fabian clocks later that she’s a dancer bard. All green flags.

After indulging Fabian’s ego for a bit, the squad encourages Kristen to go for President. Before she can though, she’s beaten to the punch by a halfling student with major Tracy Flick energy who introduces herself as Kipperlily Copperkettle. Kristen immediately shoots back with, “What are you, four different dogs?” which is maybe the funniest thing a Bad Kid has ever said. The Bad Kids hate her vibes on sight but Kristen especially is full aggro. Riz notices that she’s wearing a pin of a rat’s butt being grinded between two gears and when asked about it, she says it’s Ratgrinders pin–Ratgrinders being the name of her adventuring party. They ask who else is in her party and she points out Reuben–an emo, gnomish bard who is signing autographs because he’s the one who wrote the song they were listening to on the way to school (before Kristen changed it to a health and wellness podcast).

Kipperlily (who I’m gonna call KP) is told that she can sign up but she has to find time to campaign outside of her classes. She says that won’t be a problem because she’s already aced Junior Year and she slides over an envelope to Jawbone to prove it. Apparently, the way Rogue classes work here is that the students find clues and puzzles throughout the school left by the professor but they’ve never actually met them. If a student is able to find the Rogue professor, they automatically get an A for the year and, apparently, KP did just that.

Paperwork in order, KP is about to leave but Fig stops her to ask what her platform is. Her answer: “Equality, equanimity, and fairness under the rules. In the past, there has been an eccentricity to the bureaucratic and administrative decisions of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy that has favored some students over others. Very nice to meet you guys.”

As she leaves, they hate her even more.

Adaine tries out a new trick she has which allows her to see into the ethereal plane. She sees a lot of Aguefort’s wards but also the fact that the wards are porous enough to let in ghosts because one of the professors is a ghost, though they don’t know which one. She suggests to Riz that maybe the Rogue prof is a ghost. She also sees some ghost steaks in the fridge, presumably belonging to the ghost prof (btw: steak for lunch at a high school seems wild, lol).

At this point, Fabian notices Mazey’s dancing shoes (Badidas of course) and clocks that she’s a dancer bard. He talks to her about how he’s looking to multiclass and she hooks him up with a note to give to the dance class professor (Terpsicore Skullcleaver) that says he’s a good kid. She also tells him that Jem Peppercorn (the absolute legend who stayed in the gym eating for the whole Goldenhoard fight) graduated last year and he had the party house which means there’s an opening for a new party house. And Fabian has a very big, very fancy, very empty house. Kristen does an Insight check and gets a Nat 20 to clock that yeah, there’s a little bit of a flirty vibe going on. So of course, she uses Thaumaturgy to create tremors–a move I was extremely confused about at first blush but I think she was using to give Fabian an excuse to hold her or something. Clearly, she’s a more attentive Wingwoman than she is a Saint.

Anyway, conversation finished, they go to the Auditorium where Jace announced Principal Grix wanted to give a speech. Grix is a gold, warforged spellcaster with a ball comprising his lower half instead of legs. Apparently, he was created by Arthur Aguefort to take his place while he’s on vacay. He speaks in a stilted, robotic manner and gives a speech parallel to Aguefort’s day one speech about what an Adventurer is. But instead of the rambly, unhinged answer Aguefort gave, he simply gives the Dictionary definition: One who goes on adventures. And then he starts going off about order, bureaucracy, and rules.

The Bad Kids are taken aback–even rules gremlin Riz.On a 27 to clock whether he’s been hacked (because she can’t believe Aguefort would make a robot that acted like this) Adaine sees Grix steepling his fingers and saying “Perfect order” which isn’t conclusive but is def troubling! They start raising their hands and asking Jace questions about if they really have to follow rules in a hard way this year–it still is Aguefort after all–but Grix cuts in and says that the backtalk he’s getting is exactly the problem. He casts Time Stop (a 9th level spell) and the entire auditorium finds themselves in the hall, in a single file line, ten minutes before class is about to begin. Not a great start to the year! And on a dirty 20, Kristen doesn’t see KP anywhere. Suspicious!

Riz tells Fabian and Gorgug about any extra MCAT stuff they don’t already know. He also tells the group about the Frosty Folk Festival and Gorgug mentions that his parents are hosting. Fig says she wants to maybe try out some of her new songs there…once she’s written them. Fabian asks if they can take a break from hardcore Bad Kid stuff this semester and Kristen says that’s a good point because she has a campaign to focus on. Fig declares herself secret service because, of course she does. She also announces her plan to go to Bard classes…but disguised as a new persona (Tiny Emo Girlie: Wanda Childa) so she can befriend and spy on Reuben. Riz and Adaine are at the end of their collective rope.

With his free time before the bell rings, Gorgug wants to talk to Porter to sort out the MCAT stuff. Porter lays it out for him. He thinks Gorgug has amazing, raw, natural talent and he uses his rage in a really noble way to protect his friends. But he hasn't seen him reach his full destructive potential and he’s not impressed that he defeated the Night Yorb will tools and “magic” instead of rage. He would be fine if Gorgug wanted to get some Fighter levels with Ms. Jones or something else that would dovetail nicely with Barb classes, but as of now, he hasn’t seen what he needs to see to think that Artificing classes would do anything but steal focus. Gorgug can of course quit the Barb track and move to Artificing, but Porter is not giving his approval.

Meanwhile, Fabian is having a much less hostile meeting with Terpsicore (after an accidental detour to Adaine’s wizard class because he trusted Fig–who’s never been to bard class–to give him directions). Terps is this tiny (5 ft 3in) Half-Orc with crazy, hyper positive, aerobics grandma energy who immediately breaks down Fabian’s cool guy jock persona and gets him into a dance, jam sesh with her that moves through different styles of dance and music. I can’t do this scene justice, you have to watch it. Her “Uh-oh, uh-oh! Uh-oh, uh-oh! A challenger approaches!” tells you everything you need to know about her.

By the end of the dance, Fabian has fully embraced his weird art kid energy and Terps has approved Fabian for multiclassing. It’s looking like all sunshine and roses for Fabian until Terps tells him that if he’s gonna make this multiclass thing work, he needs to be really serious. Lots of rest. Lots of healthy food. And no parties. Uh-oh indeed.

Next up, we turn our attention back to Riz who’s still in the hall and tries to steal the envelope KP turned in to Jawbone to get some info about the Rogue prof. Jawbone catches him and is good natured about it but won’t let him have the envelope: not for moral reasons so much as because a good rogue has to earn it by not getting caught.

Riz asks about KP and Jawbone says she’s a good kid but kinda Type A. He asks Riz if he’s getting some “I’m in the picture and I don’t like it” energy from her and Riz denies it. Jawbone decides to give him a little bit of a hint re: the Prof and says that KP technically didn’t find the prof. The prof found KP. But he won’t say more and he would appreciate him not saying where he got the info. The main reason he’s giving the info at all is because KP was snooping and heard him talking about Kristen’s god dying. She then asked Jawbone a bunch of questions about Kristen which he answered so he figured fair’s fair with regard to giving Riz some info about her. Riz is troubled. Jawbone tells Riz that they’re due for a heart to heart but Riz says he’s good and he’s stressed but stress is good. Yikes!

Kristen is also still in the hall and finally properly signs up for class president but, as she does, she hears some familiar voices: it’s her parents, dropping her younger brother Bucky off for his first day at Aguefort. She has serious deja vu as they’re saying the same “Don’t mix with the weirdos” stuff they said to her on her first day. Kristen fails a Wisdom save and is deeply affected by watching her parents basically bullying her younger brother who she hasn’t seen in a good bit now. The last time she had any contact with them it was just to give them her dragon gold and that was over the phone. She sees that her not being in the household to shield her brothers from her parents has led to them having to take all that parental abuse and pressure alone. She goes over to confront them feeling hot under the collar and Riz senses a crackle of something in her aura.

Cass chimes in, thinking she’s been summoned, and asks if it’s a good time for them to talk and Kristen snaps at her that OBVIOUSLY it’s not a good time. Kristen feels a spasm in her body and, for the first time, Cass snaps back at her: "Fine! I can make my own people to talk to!“ Deeply concerning, but we’ll come back to that. For now, we follow Kristen as she reaches her parents and brother. Bucky immediately goes in for the hug and seems very happy to see her. Her parents, not so much and the feeling is mutual. “Second time’s the charm, hopefully” they say, tacitly deeming her a failure. She pretends to be directing traffic so she can hustle them out the door ASAP and gets a Nat 20 to do so (rolling with advantage for reasons Brennan doesn’t expound on). Bucky says he wants to talk to Kristen about something but he’s late so can they meet up after class? She says sure thing and he runs off, his longsword trailing after him.

Kristen is left alone with her parents and it’s a bit of a standoff. Her mom asks how she’s going and seems to genuinely want to know to some degree but it’s still mainly jabs about her lifestyle and choices and leaving the church. Her dad especially comes down hard on her for leaving Helio without a chosen one and becoming a cleric to a night goddess right before they were struck with four months of night which, admittedly, is a fair thing to have questions about. But Kristen has died and come back from the dead. If that can’t keep her down, her parents certainly can’t. She pirouettes away from the conversation and heads to class (because she may not be worried about her parents but she is worried about what Cass said to her).

We hop over to the second nerd of the party, Adaine, who’s in wizard classes with Professor Tiberia Runestaff who Brennan says has “Evil Lucille Bluth” energy (which is different from regular Lucille Bluth how?). She’s a friend of Aguefort’s from the Mountains of Chaos and Adaine wants to impress her so so bad.

She starts off her lesson by saying that this year is the weed out year. This is the year that separates the paltry magicians from the truly great casters. Then, she starts listing out the materials they need for this week’s castings–a list that includes TEN BARRELS OF DIAMONDS. For ONE WEEK. Adaine may come from money but she doesn’t have access to any of that money right now. She raises her hand to ask if there’s any way she could borrow some diamonds from the school or something and basically gets a harsh, “That sounds like a you problem” kind of response that she shrinks back from. Tiberia continues to list the ridiculously expensive materials needed to continue on and Adaine knows that she can’t ask Jawbone for any of this. She resolves to call Aelwyn for help during lunch.

We then move on to a Fantasy High first: Fig going to class! Although she’s not going as herself. She’s disguised as her alter ego Wanda Childa. The professor (Lucilla Lullaby who is some kind of chill Eladrin) seems to perhaps think she recognizes her before she sits down next to Reuben. She charms him by smelling of peach schnapps and cigarettes and they have a flirty emo-off before Lucilla points out that she’s 100% not on the roster and, despite the fact that it doesn’t always seem like it, this is a school with rules. This year especially! She leaves, but as she lingers to give Reuben one last look (and sniff) she notices that he has a Ratgrinder tattoo that matches KP’s pin.

As she exits Lucilla is making a call on her crystal and there’s a good chance it’s connected to the encounter Fig has when she gets to the hall. Jace Stardiamond is leading an eagle aarakocra Council of Chosen agent (think FBI) who is investigating truancy in the area and calls Fig by name–well by pseudonym anyway. He is incidentally also looking into the disappearance of Hilda Hilda. Sensing her chickens are finally coming home to roost, Fig gives a weak lie about not knowing how schools work and skateboards away, using Cutting Words to prevent Agent Clark’s attack of opportunity on her. He vows to find out who she is as she makes her escape.

Proving you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it go to bard class, Fig goes outside to spy on her class through the window instead of attending because she thought Lucilla actually seemed pretty cool. She doesn’t hide well enough though and Lucilla spots her through the window. She’s shocked to see Fig for the first time in two years and welcomes her in like she’s the prodigal son. Fig asks if it would be weird for her to attend. Lucilla assures her that it’s the opposite of weird and, in fact, mandatory.

She settles in for her first day of bard class–this semester and ever–but out of the corner of her eye, she notices a sneering Rebuen texting someone. It’s Lola Embers. Looks like they’re signed to the same label.

Finally, we hop to Kristen who’s headed to cleric class with Professor Yolanda Badgood (a wispy air genasi). Before class even starts she tells Kristen to meet her after class. We timeskip to that meeting and, like many others in this ep, she thanks Kristen for saving the world. But she has a followup question: How did she do it when her god is dead? Kristen says she has a lot going on with her estranged parents she just saw and her scattered mind and her feeling like the stairs are disappearing behind her as she climbs. She has to update her god in the files and her address for that matter because, as we learned when she talked to her parents, all her mail is still getting sent to her old address. Her professor sincerely asks her how she’s feeling and Kristen says she’s fine but asks if there’s some kind of test she can take that will tell her what god is right for her. Her professor is like, “Didn’t you just say you had a new god???” But Kristen feels so much pressure with Cass and she mainly feels annoyed by her presence. Professor Badgood says that she’s allowed to change her god as much as she wants–she herself gave up an active relationship with a divinity so she can be kind of an interfaith minister to all her students. And she says that all faiths are trying to capture a piece of the truth–even the out there ones with evil gods and such. She recommends that Kristen spend a week earnestly trying to connect with Cass and if she still feels like she wants to split she can go from there.

Kristen has a followup question: What do you do when your god says, "Fine, I'll- I'll make new followers"? Badgood seems taken aback, and she’s even more so when Kristen says she’s been rude to her god. Kristen asks if she should apologize and Professor Badgood gives her the most gracious version of, “Duh, obviously” a person can manage. She directs Kristen to one of the million prayer rooms in the class so she and Cass can talk.

Kristen actually takes this seriously–or at least more seriously than she takes most things. She clears her mind and meditates until she finds herself in the forest of Sylvaire where Cassandra is crying to herself. A bright moon that would erase any shadow or doubt encroaches. When Kristen tries to touch Cass’s shoulder, the god flinches away and sobs that Craig–her only other follower–has joined the Wolfsong Revival. Tracker’s movement.

Cass is scared. She doesn’t want to end up dead in the Astral Realm like Yes? Kristen apologizes and says that she understands that she’s getting to point where chaos isn’t cute anymore. She follows that up by saying that her top two priorities are Cass and her student president campaign however so I don’t know how committed she is to being serious. Cass isn’t either because she flat out states that she can’t rely on Kristen. She’s so so lonely and she’s confused about why things aren’t working out. They started out so big and magical and they’re still so stuck. She thought it might be because of her somehow but then she learned about the trail of abandoned gods in Kristen’s wake and realized that *she* was the connecting factor, something that Kristen cops to verbally: “It’s me,” she says.

Cass announces that she’s getting some help and Kristen asks who. A cleric? Nope. No clerics for now. She just wanted a friend. Kristen sees her petting something invisible and asks if it’s a dog.

“I’m more of a cat person,” Cass says as a black cat fades into view.

“Hi Kristen,” Kalina says.

And that’s where we end our ep!!!! The bitch is back!!!!

Honor Roll

Riz for Thinking Of All His Friends

In Sophomore Year there was a thing with Riz’s dad where it was like, sometimes you show your love through work and, viewed through that lens, Riz *really* loves his friends. I recognize that the likelihood of his meticulous plan actually working is slim to none and he’ll have to accept that even if they all stay really close friends (which they better), they’re likely on at least slightly different life paths, I do think it’s really sweet that he’s putting so much effort into making sure that ALL of his friends are successful by the metric that he’s using. Also, the “Hi Adaine :)” binder for her was so cute. I love nerd friendship.

Detention

Fig for Hilda-Hilda-ing Too Close to the Sun

Girl the Fantasy FBI is after you!!! Just stop lying and go to class!!!!!

Random Thoughts

In the AP for this ep, Emily mentioned some cool warlock thing that might be worth taking the MCAT for and officially registering (she’s currently off the books multiclassing) but it’s never mentioned in the actual episode so I assume it got snipped away in editing.

I really love how polite Adaine is to anyone who hasn’t earned her scorn and the little moment of her taking a reasonable amount of food from the trashbag Lydia offered her and thanking her was very endearing to me.

Zac is very quick on his feet and Chloe is a GREAT save for Cloaca but it is ABSOLUTELY not gonna be what anyone calls that bird but me and him.

When Jace said over the intercom that Sorc classes are just talking about how fun and easy magic is, I’m surprised Adaine have anything snarky to say about that, lol. *I* had a comment and I don’t even go to that school.

Is anyone else getting like…Santa Clause 2 energy from the Grix situation? If that ends up being the vibe then that’s super funny because iirc Santa Clause 1 was ref’d a bunch with the oracle stuff in Freshman Year. Full circle baybee.

KP seems like she is springing into existence to fill the voice left by Penny Luckstone getting her GED and leaving. They’re like on the exact same level of one axis of a cartesian plane but on opposite sides. Both at 100% intensity but vibes in opposite directions.

I kinda wanna add a poll to this post that’s like, what is the crazier story? Mermaid reproduction with the Thistlesprings or snapping turtle man with gun up his secret cloaca story with Jawbone?

Honorary Honor Roll to Ally the person for the legendary 4 dogs joke. Honestly even funnier knowing that that’s the actual name of Brennan’s old PC. Burned the man to his face. Roasted him like corn.

OK, so what are we thinking about the Ratgrinders? Is that a ref to grinding rats for XP or more how they see other people/what they’re going to do to people who get in their way? KP is obviously very rules focused but in a Lawful Annoying way. I do think it’s interesting though. Have any of you guys ever seen the Community episode where it turns out everyone at Greendale hates the gang because they have major main character syndrome and are always forcing everyone else at school to accommodate their flights of fancy (a perfectly reasonable reason to have beef with people)? I’m wondering if there’s a bit of that energy happening here. Either way, this strikes me as a party that’s interested in exploiting loopholes and such for maximum efficiency (eg: finding the rogue prof for instant straight A’s) and that’s a different kind of maverick behavior than what the Bad Kids do which is go buckwild, breaking rules if necessary, but getting real results. It’s like the BK’s are Aguefort’s perfect party and I’m suspecting the RG’s are Grix’s. Speaking of–

A FH concept I had ages ago was rival adventuring party to the main group which has like, bizarro versions of everyone. And we may be getting that! We have an emo bard to contrast Fig’s punk rocker energy. And a rules follower (derogatory) rogue to contrast Riz who is also a rules follower (blessed). Very curious to see the rest of their party! And very curious to know if they’re Bad (™) or just annoying in a high school way. Sometimes people just don’t vibe with you.

Oh, a specific concern that I have: KP specifically asked where Kristen was able to create a god. I don’t think that’s info I want a super type A person I don’t trust to have.

Very sweet that Jawbone’s immediate instinct when he thinks an earthquake is happening is to bodily shield Fig and Adaine, his two kind daughter-figures in the Bad Kids.

Kristen says that Cass is a hard sell but I have to disagree. Look at this flyer. It looks convincing to me!

“I think songs can accomplish a lot, if you let yourself hear the music.” Gorgug :( He’s gonna show Porter this season. I just know it. I believe in you Spring Break!

Love Murph throwing in the Frosty Folk thing apropos of basically nothing just to make sure they had an in-character reason to all know about that for later, just in case. Info management! Important!

I remember Bucky being a lot younger but either I’m confusing him for one of her other two brothers or it got retconned (or Quangled lol) older to make this storyline work. Very interesting that he went in for the hug, not the other way around. Seems like at least one person missed her. With his longsword and his parents’ inclinations, it seems like he’s most likely a Helioic Paladin. I’m very interested in how they’re going to treat his relationship with Helio because even though Kristen rejected him and we’ve seen that he has some followers that range from just shitty (K’s parents) to downright culty (the Harvestmen), that doesn’t mean that all of his followers are like that and we’ve never actually seen Helio be anything but pretty chill when he’s appeared. He wants to talk to Kristen about something and my conspiracy theory brain is wondering if he was asked to be Helio’s new chosen one but he hasn’t told anyone yet. That would be very interesting and I’d like to see a storyline about the tension of K and her brother having very different relationships with the same god. The chill peace and love god might have been a great person for him to turn to in absence of his one lifeline in the house leaving. But it could also be tons of other things so we’ll see.

Wild that Kristen has pissed off or abandoned every member of that godly family (Sol, Helio, Galicaea, and Cass). She really is the constant here.

Ally says Kristen is wearing an Adidas tracksuit meaning that this world canonically has both Adidas and Badidas.

It’s a funny moment when Terps is like, “Is there harm in your life? ”to Fabian when he mentions eating food out of a trash bag but like, the kid isn’t doing *great*. Def some neglect happening and he said he was wearing yesterday’s clothes and still banged up from the Night Yorb fight. If I was a teacher, I’d have questions too!

Yolanda Badgood. Terpsichore Skullcleaver. Lucilla Lullaby. Most of these professors are named like My Little Ponies and I love it.

When Lucilla say “Wanda” it seems like she briefly (correctly) thought it was Fig which is funny because it paints the picture that she’s been actively waiting on pins and needles for her to show up for the past two years. It’s funny because she’s not a missing person. She’s highly visible both from saving the world and being a rockstar AND both of her dads work at your school! Just get in touch!

Really hope Adaine follows up on the Aelwyn conversation because I wanna see two kids raised in old money discuss the price of ten barrels of diamonds.

Also lol at random things like Fabian being the FUTURE OF DANCE being pinned on Adaine’s oracle prognostications.

#Dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #spoilers #the report card

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itwasanangryinch · 5 years

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JCM Projects -- 2019

My aim is to update this at least monthly, ideally weekly with all of the projects John Cameron Mitchell will be working on, debuting, or a part of in the upcoming year. If you know of a project not listed here, please message me thru inbox or IM. | | Updated June 19th

This Week (June 19th-23rd)

(DJing) Mattachine – Monthly queer dance party with Amber Martin and Ang DiCarlo at the Julius

The Origin of Love Tour (North American) (ongoing)

New York – June 27th, at The Town Hall (3 left!) New York – June 28th, at The Town Hall – sold out! New York – June 29th, at The Town Hall – sold out! New York – July 27th, two shows! at Fischer Theatre/Bard College (16 left!) Michigan – November 2nd, at the University of Michigan, (tix on sale in Aug.) Austin – February 7th, 2020, at University of Texas at Austin/Bass Concert Hall (tix on sale in August) San Fransciso – February 29th, 2020, at Berkley University. (tix on sale in Aug.) Salt Lake City – April 3rd, 2020, at Kingsbury Hall (tix on sale in July) Los Angeles – April 11th, 2020, at UCLA/The Theatre at Ace Hotel (tix on sale in July)

more dates to come!

MERCHANDISE: Junction City Mercantile (launched! all proceeds go to helping John’s mum)

Other Concerts

New York – June 22nd, John will be singing a selection of songs from Anthem as part of the first Topic Talks: Music concert. Tickets on sale now.

TV Shows

Shrill (series regular) – Hulu, first season available now! – RENEWED!!

The Good Fight (guest star) – CBS All Access Trailer | | Sneak Peak | | Episode

Movies

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001) – June 25th. Critereon Collection DVD/Blu-Ray release featuring a new 4K restoration of the film, a new chat with the original creatives behind the film, a talk between Stephen Trask and Rolling Stone writer David Fricke, and all of the features from the original DVD release. Critereon.com | | bbfc certification | | watch now

How to Talk to Girls at Parties (2017) – May 8th. Transmission Films. After almost a full year since JCM was there and told that there were no immediate plans for distribution, Australia is finally getting HtTtGaP on DVD and digital.

Podcasts

Anthem: Homunculus: A ten episode podcast series written by JCM and HtTtGaP collaborator Bryan Weller and featuring performers such as Glenn Close, Patti LuPone, Madeline Brewer, and Nakhane. All episodes available. Luminary Podcasts. Little Known Facts with Ilana Levine: Upcoming. John was interviewed on April 29th, episode presumably airs soon. iTunes | | Podbean | | Stitcher The Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air): New episodes dropping generally 2019. A fictional series set in the world of a radio show that broadcasts from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Season one, season one remaster featuring interviews with Julian Koster and JCM, and The Second Imaginary Symphony (does not feature JCM) available now. WNYC Studios.

Too Hot For Radio: 2019. John recorded a live reading of a short story for the NPR program. If it follows past airings, it will be included sometime when the new season starts streaming later this year.

Dreamboy: an ethereal monster movie told in podcast form. JCM guest starred in the finale, aired March 25th, and sang a song. NightValePresents Website.

More John podcasts

Albums

Anthem: Homunculus (Soundtrack) – Out now. Full soundtrack currently available as a digital download from Ghostlight Records. Featuring John, Glenn Close, Patti LuPone, Nakhane, and others, written by JCM and Bryan Weller. Ghostlight Records

T-Rex Tribute Album – John will be singing ‘Diamond Meadows’ as part of producer Hal Willner’s project. No release date yet. Variety, JCM ig

Interviews

For interviews that are not really part of a podcast or other thing.

Big Think: May 18th. Video. (Different from the 9th) [ YT, BT ]

Psychology Today: May 15th. Text interview with John about one of the key plot points in Anthem. More talking about the show than actual interview. There is a more spoilery interview linked off of it relating to ep 7, though the spoiler is something that’s been hinted at in past interviews. [ PT, C ]

Big Think: May 9th. Video [ YT ]

BuzzFeed AM to DM: Daily webshow. May 2nd. [ Periscope, Twitter, BFN ]

New York Live TV/The Hub Boston: TV interview. Same interview ran on both programs. About 5 minutes. May 1st [ YT ]

Time Out Mexico: Text interview. Translated into Spanish. April 29th [ TO ]

Backstage.com: John answered questions from the people at Backstage and fan questions left on their forum and social media. April 25th. [ FB ]

Broadway.com Live at Five: John was interviewed to talk about Anthem: Homunculus and Hedwig. April 24th. [ YouTube, text write up ]

Other Projects

Come Back Once More So I Can Say Goodbye – a theatre piece by Labyrinth Dance Theatre. About gay life in NYC 1965-1995. JCM is part of Julius' Honorary Host Committee for the show. $40 gen. admission. $25 student/senior/artist. June 14-17th.

Broadway: The Next Generation – documentary. No release date yet.

Time Warp: The Greatest Cult Films of All Time – documentary. No release date yet.

TV Series 1: John has talked about this in interviews. Something that he would be writting/showrunning as well as creating. (impending)

TV Series 2: Something that John would be creating, but not as involved in the day-to-day workings of. Has talked about in interviews. (impending)

Other Appearances

Mattachine, June 20th – a monthly queer dance party at Julius’ Bar in New York. Usually the 3rd Thursday of the month, but does vary. John usually shows up, but does not go to all Mattachines. @mattachineparty UPDATED!

Filmmaker on the Edge, June 15th – John is going to be honoured with the award, have a conversation with resident artist John Waters, and screen Hedwig. (press release)

ARCHIVED

After a certain amount of time, older information will drop here so that fans looking for recent, current, and upcoming projects will have an easier time. Things that have already been done will drop down here. And going into 2020, there will be a new list.

The Origin of Love Tour

February 8th -- Washington DC, National Theatre February 22nd -- Chicago, IL, Atheneum Theatre March 2nd -- Boston, MA, Schubert Theatre May 22nd -- Mexico City, MX, Auditorio BlackBerry June 8th -- Miami, FL, The Arsht Center/Knight Hall

Other Concerts

Drop down after performance unless there’s a stream or a downloadable thing for them.

TV Shows

Shows drop down here after three months for guest appearances and six months after the last episode airs for series regular status.

Movies

Movies drop down six months after last release.

Podcasts

Podcasts that John is in the regular cast for will drop here six months after the last episode. guest starring, three months. Interview, one month.

Regular Cast

Guest Starring

Interview

Adulting: an interview format podcast where JCM and another guest star were interviewed. Broadcast live April 12th as part of a celebration for the venue. Watch video on FB | | Periscope | | Youtube

Death, Sex Money: John is guest hosting and interviewing his friend Marilyn Maye while the regular host is on maternity leave. April 17th. WYNC Studios.

Katya and Craig/Whimsically Volatile: April 25th. Podcast hosted by drag star Katya Zamolodchikova and director Craig MacNeil. This week, Craig hosted the show and interviewed John without Katya. Soundcloud | | Libsyn | | iTunes | YouTube

Chapo Trap House: April 29th. Podcast where John talks about Anthem, Hedwig, Shortbus, “the end of sex.” Soundcloud

Laura Heywood Interviews: May 8. player.fm | | Libsyn

The Frame: May 9. John has a segment talking about Anthem. iTunes | | player.fm | | NPR

Studio 360: May 14th. John and Bryan talking about Anthem and performing a live version of ‘The End of Love.’ Slate | | iTunes

Albums

If John is guest appearing on the album, it will move after four months. If it’s his project, it will move after six.

Interviews

Drops down after one month for text interviews. Three for video.

Rolling Stone Mexico and GQ Mexico: John is interviewed in both for his performance in Mexico City

Mural: May 18th. Text interview in Spanish. [ M ]

Escandala: May 15th. Text interview with John. In Spanish [ E ] Open Revista: May 14th Text interview with John in Spanish. [ OR ]

TheatreMania: May 12. Text interview with John and Bryan Weller about Anthem. [ TM ]

Metro Source: May 10th. Text interview with John about Anthem. [ MS ]

Time Out: May 9th. Press release/info for Orbital DJing Event [ TO ]

Daily Beast: May 6th. Text interview. [ DB ]

Rolling Stone: Text interview with John and Glenn Close about Anthem. May 5th [ RS ]

Backstage.com: write up of the FB/IG live video that John did the previous week. May 1st [ Backstage ]

Forbes: Text interview about Anthem and transforming it from the Hedwig sequel. John also talks about his writing process, The Orbiting Human Circus, and which Broadway shows he’s excited by this season. April 26th [ Forbes ]

NewNowNext: Text interview. April 23rd. [ NNN ]

Observer: Text interview. April 23rd. [ Observer ]

Queerty: Text interview. April 20th. [ Queerty ]

New York Times: Text interview. April 19th. [ NYT ]

Other Projects

Unless John is featured heavily, these will drop down after a month or two. These projects might also be less available than some of the other programs.

Other Appearances

Too Hot For Radio – January 26th, as part of San Francisco SketchFest, John went out and read a story for NPR’s Selected Shorts radio program. Eventually it will air via streaming like iTunes, NPR’s website, SoundCloud....

JCM interviews Claywoman – March 17th, John participated in a performance art interview of a drag character reported to be the oldest being in the universe who has travelled to our planet from her own.

JCM screens Entertaining Mr. Sloane – March 19th, John screened one of his favourite movies, a British sex comedy called Entertaining Mr. Sloane as part of a Quad Cinema series.

Various Promotion – various times in January thru March, John was on location being interviewed to promote Shrill. These appearances include the Hulu winter TCAs, the New York Shrill premiere, and San Francisco SketchFest.

Jay Brannon, Joe’s Pub – April 9th, John announced attending concert. Presumably did not perform.

Club Cumming – April 15th, John made his first appearance at Club Cumming as part of a star studded benefit for New Alternatives, an LGBT Youth charity. Sold out!

SirusFM//Signal Boost Show – April 25th, interview about Anthem, Hedwig, Uber rides, and sex.

Tribeca Celebrates Pride – May 4th, John was interviewed his Shrill costar Patti Hardison about how his queer identity has affected his work.

Chocolate Babies screening – May 7th. John announced on ig that he was going to be attending a screening of Stephen Winter’s film.

Orbital – May 24th. John and Amber DJed at the Ortibal dance party in Mexico.

Tony Awards - June 9th. Guest.

Nahkane, The Illustrious Blacks - June 20th. John announced on ig he would be attended Nahkane’s performance before June’s Mattachine Party.

#john cameron mitchell #hedwig and the angry inch #hedwig #shrill #the good fight #anthem #hatai #mattachine #anthem homunculus #dreamboy #the origin of love #club cumming #orbiting human circus #the orbiting human circus #orbiting human circus (of the air)#wnyc #jcm

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