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justoneday-namjoonii · 7 years

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Di piano e forte 05

pt. 1 ↠ pt. 2 ↠ pt. 3 ↠ pt. 4 ↠ pt. 5 ↠ pt. 6

↠Summary: Piano; A keyboard of cypress, played with soft and loud. Was it the ivory and onyx keys that let you escape from your reality…Or was it the man with sable hair and ivory skin.

↠Genre: Angst, fluff.

↠Warnings: This fic contains slight domestic and verbal abuse as well as mature subjects. Sexual assault. Mentions of depression. This may be triggering, read with caution.

author’s note: I decided to turn this into something a little more angsty, in couldn't resist lol I hope you enjoy. Updates for this series on Thursday or Friday, enjoy!

You panted heavily, stretching your arms and holding your hands behind your head to give your lungs a break. The sun hadn't risen yet. You liked to jog early in the morning, to avoid the pounding heat of the sun. Mom always says exercise is a good way to take time for yourself, but you're using it as an outlet to escape from what's been going on. Your brother hasn't been home for a week now and you couldn't help but get worried—well, you were relieved and worried. The house was peaceful; but sad and even depressing.

You were ashamed to admit how bad you've been emotionally eating. When you got home from work you went straight for the sweets, or you wouldn't eat at all. When you were at school you were getting by on boba teas. But this week you made the decision to get yourself together, eat better, exercise and even sleep more. It was making a difference, somewhat. After this you had a doctors appointment, your body pains have gotten better so you were hoping you could get off of the pills soon.

The bridge crossing the lake was just as beautiful as it was at night, it looked so poetic in a way. It was the kind of place friends should go to walk and talk about their innermost feelings and joys. When your dad was still living he'd take you and your along with him to walk around the city. The packed train station was a place to look for adventure, pick a place to stop and your adventure begins. The pictures in my distant memories were perfect—the current me was an image, a moment where loneliness had stopped time. No one would know how lonely you were. You didn't even know.

I drove back home, eager to get to the shower.

You walked up to the counter, handing the nurse your papers. “Hi, I'm here for the 8:45 appointment with Dr. Lu.”

“Ok, I'll check you in. You can have a seat.” She went to her computer and you went to wait in the tiny waiting room.

A few minutes went by and they called you to the back.

“Hello Miss. Y/LN. How are you?” He came in, smiling with his usual clipboard and coat.

“Hi,” You sat down, holding your purse in your lap, “I'm good, and you?”

“I'm great.” He looked over his papers and sighed. “So, how are your body pains? Has the medicine helped?”

“Yeah, my shoulders still get to me when I'm really stressed but other than that they've been pretty good. I was wondering if I should keep taking them, you know? I just don't want my body to become dependent on it...it kind of makes me depressed, I shouldn't have these problems, I'm so young...”

He nodded his head for a few seconds before sighing. “Well, it's not fibro myalgia so that's good. And you can get body pain for a number of reasons, it's not always age. But you told me that sometimes your almost in tears from the pain, I do want you to live comfortably. I will prescribe the same pain killers and you can pick them up at the drug store.”

“Thank you Dr. Lu, I really appreciate.” He opened the door and you bid him farewell. When you got to the front desk the nurse gave you the prescription and you thanked her.

You left with your purse on your shoulder and the prescription in hand. You couldn't have been more lonely right now. With heavy steps you walked to the bus station and sat on the bench.

When the bus finally pulled up you used your coins to pay before walking to your usual spot, leaning your head against the glass.

“Ok ma'am, we'll have it out in a second.” The pharmacist went to the back to get the medicine. As you waited you saw a familiar head of hair in the isle behind you, you tried to lean back and see who it was but right when you went back the person left and they handed you the medication.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.”

You paid for it and went on your way.

“Here.” Yoongi tossed the wrist brace on Namjoons lap.

“Thanks Hyung.”

“I don't know how you sprained your wrist cleaning the bathroom.” He laughed, Namjoon just shrugged.

He sniffed. “Hyung...” Namjoon gave Yoongi a knowing look before sighing. “Are you smoking again? You only smoke when your reevaluating your life or some shit like that.” Namjoon sat next to him on the couch, fastening the wrist brace.

“It's nothing, really.” He shrugged.

“Is it your mom?” He saw Yoongi’s expression bo blank, that's what it was. “It is isn't, what happened Yoongi, is she okay?”

He sighed. “Her and my dad are still legally married, he's in a relationship right now so he's trying to divorce her.” He rested his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. “He's fucking sick. He knows she's under his health care, if that stops I don't know how she'll be able to stay at rehab.”

“Can't she get help from the government? You know, like government assistance.”

“Yeah, but they'll just give her more shitty drugs and put her in a group home, to rot. Where she is now is much better for her recovery, it's expensive but she's getting better and at least I know she's safe there.” Yoongi was hiding it well but Namjoon could sense how upset he was. He was always worried about her, regardless of her troubled past. When he was at his piano late at night, thinking Namjoon wasn't awake, he wept. Those black and white keys were coated in his tears, he'd bang on the keys and shout in a drunken fit when he was really upset. He never remembered doing it though, he'd wake up with a bad hangover, not knowing the things he'd done the night before.

“I have to talk to him...I'm stalling though.” He sort of chuckled, he hated talking to that unreasonable man.

“You know I'm here, I'll do anything I can to help.” He gave his shoulder a comforting pat before he left. “I'll be at the studio if you need me.”

When Namjoon closed the door Yoongi leaned back on the couch, what was he gonna do? He only wanted what was best for her. He couldn't visit her often and when he did he had to prepare himself, mentally. She used to have a bad addiction when he was a kid, she got a hold of the wrong prescriptions and her life went downhill from there. She had never been more disappointed in her self, she blamed herself for all of Yoongi’s problems. That guilt alone ate her from the inside out. Just recently is when she started to learn how to forgive herself, except that he forgives her.

“Y/N! We're still waiting on those sandwiches!”

“I'm sorry! They're coming out.” You were using the panini press to make what seemed the hundredth sandwich today. You were struggling to get the food finished so instead of looking for the things you tried to grab it with your hand.

“Agh!” You hissed, there were now red grill marks on your hand. You threw the sandwiches on the plate and sat the food in the window. I'm done. You've been here since 9:30 and it's going on 7 o'clock. You ran to the sink to rinse off your burn. When you went to the front one of your coworkers asked if you could help with the ice teas.

“There's a peach black tea and- Oh my God, what happened to your hand?”

Instinctively, you tried to hide it. “I-it's nothing, just a little burn.” You tried to play it off like it was nothing, even though it felt like your skin was boiling.

After the last cup of tea, you could finally leave, you got your bag, took off your apron and you went on your way.

It was drizzling outside so you ran to the bus stop, trying to shield your face from the relentless drops. There was a slight breeze in the air and you caught a whiff of smoke, you coughed a little looking for the source. You looked back and saw a pretty pale hand resting outside of a car window, skin of that color could only belong to one person you knew of.

Min Yoongi. He must've seen you too because he was letting down the passenger's side window. “Hey.” He took a long drag of his cigarette before putting it out. You never would've guessed he smoked, then again you never really know how people are or what they do when you're not around.

“Hi.” You held your hand above your head, trying to keep the rain from getting on your face

“Are you taking the bus?”

You nodded, pushing the strands of hair behind your ear with squinted eyes.

“You'll be waiting for a while, come on. I'll take you home.” He leaned over to open the door as you scurried over.

“Thanks.” You sighed, putting on your seat belt.

When you looked over at him, you could tell there was something different about him. You weren't sure what it was, you just knew there was something off. You two sat there for a while, he was on his phone and you just waited patiently for him to pull off.

“What happened to your hand?” He suddenly pointed to the grill like marks on the back of your hand.

“It's from the panini press.” You answered simply, licking your lips as you noticed how dark it had become.

"It looks painful.” He commented without actually looking at it. You just nodded. The drive was sort of awkward because of the obvious elephant in the room. The two of you hadn't talked in almost two weeks, you haven't had any piano lessons from him and he hasn't offered. But now he's driving you home—he actually remembered where you lived. He took all the right turns but of course ran into the usual traffic.

“So, are we gonna talk about it?” Yoongi asked suddenly, saying what you had been thinking about this whole time. You relaxed when he stopped at the red light, his attention, for the first time, undivided and on you. To his disdain you just shook your head, maybe he wanted a more in-depth answer but you didn't feel the need to give one. You're both adults and it was a little kiss. It shouldn't have consumed your thoughts like it did. He took a deep breath before sighing once again—he does that a lot you've noticed. “Do you still want lessons...”

“Um...yeah, I still want to learn...” You cleared your throat, the smell of smoke still lingered in the car. It was hard to really look at him. His appearance had changed since the last time you saw him. His eyes were darker, his hands were paler and he looked tired. The last time you saw him you two had kissed in the rain, that wasn't something you just do with anyone. It was so impulsive and out of character of him, he didn't know what he was acting on. It could've been desperation, neediness, he could've been compelled by the desire of physical touch, he really didn't know. You kind of blame yourself for making the relationship so casual, you were the one who asked him on a date. Who does that to their piano teacher?

When he pulled up to your house you were both equally shocked to see the parking lot full of cars. He's back, you thought. The sound of laughter and music was an indicator that Jaebum was having a party.

“Sorry to bother you but, do you have any aspirin?” Yoongi looked to you with the tilt of his head. “I have the worst headache.”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have some. I'll bring you one.” You got out and went up the stairs with your key in hand.

You didn't want to go in there. The horrid smell of body odor and alcohol was never something you were fond of. You pushed the key in the lock and opened the door slowly, you could already smell the marijuana and beer wafting in the air.

There were a bunch of people, you didn't even know he knew so many people. To get out of this suffocating environment you immediately went to your room, glad you decided to lock it before leaving this morning. You could hear Jaebum shouting nonsense, he was drunk, as expected. You quickly closed your room door and went to your bathroom.

“Aspirin, aspirin...” You searched through your medicine and you couldn't find any. You were gonna text him but quickly you remember you left your bag in his car. You were about to leave your room but you heard someone walk in, you froze.

One of Jaebums friends.

“Y/N, I thought Jaebum said y- you were gone?” He was either high or drunk—but probably both.

You ignored him, hoping he'd let you pass by without a problem. Judging by the look on his face he wasn't intending on letting you leave anytime soon.

“Excuse me.” You tried to walk past him but he grabbed you but the shoulders and pushed you back.

“What the hell?! Move!” Demanded, getting angrier and angrier by the second.

“Why don't we close the door and a have some fun?” He closed the door behind him and stalked towards you. “I've always had my eyes on you, you know that? You may be annoying but your fine as hell.” He was already right in front of you—your heart was beating out of your chest in fear.

“Don't do this.” That didn't sound as confident as you intended. He pushed you on the bed, trying to pin you down as you flailed violently.

“Get off! I- I don't want this!” You cried.

“What's taking her so long?” He put out his cigarette. You've been up there's for almost five minutes, how long doesn't it take to find some aspirin. He decided he'd go up there and see if you were ok, it wasn't like you to just not sat anything. When he got upstairs he didn't bother knocking, the door was open. Some hoe saw him when he walked in and strolled over.

“What's your name?” She walked over with a red solo cup in her hand.

He just walked away, not bothering to actually give her the time of day. He navigated through the groups of people to get to your bedroom, he knocked.

No answer.

Your light was on so you were in there, did you not hear him. He knocked again. “Y/N? Hey, I don't need the aspirin, it's okay if you don't have it.”

Yoongi? Thank God.

“Yoongi!” Your shouting was muffled by the hand over your mouth. “H-help-” You couldn't get out a coherent call for help.

“Who the hell is that?” He frowned. He didn't wait for a response, he was quickly attempting to undress you and you barely had the strength to push him. No, no, no...you were squirming and he kept squeezing your arm, eliciting bloodcurdling cries from your mouth.

You bit his hand. “YOONGI!!” You screamed bloody murder, probably scaring the life out of your neighbors.

Yoongi immediately barged in to see you in tears underneath some lowlife, crying and kicking. “Get the fuck off of her! You piece of shit!” Yoongi ripped him off of you and they were tussling on the floor. When the guy stood up Yoongi punched him, causing him to fall back almost instantly.

“What the hell?” Jaebum walked in, looking at Yoongi, then at you, then one of his best friends.

“The fuck?” Jaebum narrowed his brows. “Is this your boyfriend Y/N?”

You were too busy trying to situate your clothes and wipe your tears to answer him. It was pissing Yoongi off the way Jaebum totally disregarded the obvious situation you were in.

“Y/N fucking talk.” He raised his voice at you but you only got up to go to the bathroom and clean yourself up.

“Hey! I'm talking to you!” He ran over and yanked you back by the arm, you winced.

You were in a lot of pain and you could barely cry out anymore.“No! Stop-”

Yoongi pulled you behind him. “Don't you fucking touch her.” You ran into the bathroom, leaving your brother and Yoongi in a stare off.

“Who the fuck are you? Her damn guardian angel or something? What makes you think you can go around knocking out my friends?” Jaebum pushed Yoongis chest, challengingly him.

“It's none of your damn business. That son of a bitch was literally assaulting her, your own sister! Did you not fucking see her!? That friend of yours doesn't have respect worth shit.” Some noisy people came to crowd at the door and Jaebum was livid, Yoongi was exposing him in front of everyone. Humiliating him more and more by the second.

“You're one cocky bastard to come into my house talking shit. If she was about to get screwed then she had it coming. And we’re not blood, it's step-sister.” Jaebum had absolutely no sympathy for you, his own family was like nothing to him.

“Fuck you!” Yoongi threw a punch so hard, he will have that bruise for months. He opened your bathroom door, seeing you crying at the sink. Without a word he grabbed your hand, dragging you out of this hell hole.

“Y-yoongi...wait-” You struggled to get it out. Inevitably you gave up trying to explain, you followed him to his car with your head down. You got in the passenger's side and he drove off.

“You're staying over my place tonight.” That's all he said.

He had to be going at least 15 miles over the speed limit.

His jaw was clenched tight, his grip on the steering wheel was like iron. You couldn't imagine what he might be thinking, you looked at him again. He's never looked better than he did right now, why was that? You couldn't figure it out, maybe there was something about his eyes, they were so focused.

There were dry tear stains on your face, your hair was a mess and you could feel the bruises from where that guy had hit you. Yoongi pulled into a driveway, turned off the car and got out. You watched him walk around so he could open your door. You grabbed your backpack, following him to the front door. When he opened it up to you shyly walked in.

“Hyung?” Namjoon walked out of his room. “I thought you were-”

“Y/N is staying the night.” Yoongi waved to his roommate and you tried to shield your face as you scurried behind him. Namjoon saw you though, there were hundreds of scenarios running through his head.

Yoongi turned on his room light and went to his drawers. He had a very tidy room. “Here.” He handed you a t-shirt and some sweat pants. “They'll be a little big but they're still comfortable; this room gets cold at night anyway.”

“Oh- I can sleep on the couch, really...I don't mind...” You swallowed thickly, standing nervously.

He ignored your suggestion and rubbed the back of his neck. “My bathroom is right there.” He pointed before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

He walked to the kitchen, grabbed a beer and went to the couch.

“What happened?” Namjoon walked over, it was obvious he was upset.

“Huh...” He sighed. “Her brother is an asshole.” Yoongi took a swig of his drink.

“Can you elaborate?” Namjoon plopped down in the recliner.

“I drove her home from her job. When we got to her place her brother was home and he threw a party or whatever the fuck that tacky mess was. She went inside to get me an aspirin but she was taking forever, so I went to check on her...some guy was on her, she was crying and- I knocked him out. Her brother didn't even give a fuck either, the bastard said she had it coming. I wanted to kill him Joon...I really did.” He was calming down but the mere thought was still disturbing—infuriating.

“Wow, that's a lot to take in...is she okay?” Namjoon looked at Yoongi’s closed door.

“I think so, I dragged her out of her room and told her she was staying here tonight, I guess I probably should've asked but it wouldn't have been safe to leave her there.” He shook his head, tilting up his bottle to take another gulp.

You cracked open his room door and peeked out. He kind of smiled when he saw you with his clothes on. The pants were far too big for you, his long sweats and shirt engulfed your small frame.

“Hi Namjoon," You greeted him, "Um, Yoongi, I really don't mind taking the sofa...”

“Take the bed Y/N, we're not arguing on this.” He walked past you, cracking the door behind him “I'm gonna shower real quick.” You sat on his bed as he got some clothes and went to the shower.

When he opened the bathroom his hair was wet, his face was flushed and supple—he looked so soft and young.

“Are you okay? I'm sorry about what happened...” He said standing at the door, drying his hair.

“I don't know what to do anymore, Yoongi...I can't tell my mom, it'll only make her upset, she's been through too much. But he's always like that to me, it really hurts, you know? B- But none of his friends have ever-...and he didn’t try to stop him...” You held back your tears. His heart was breaking, he was angry at himself and that guy, your situation was so sad and he really couldn't do anything about it.

“I'm sorry.” He sat beside you, he didn't know what to say.

“It's not your fault...” You looked at him, twiddling your fingers like you always did when you were anxious. He grabbed your hand gently, squeezing it lightly.

“It’s not yours either. I just want you to know, you're safe here. If you need a place to stay you can always come here. I promise you, if it means you’ll sleep safely then I’m willing to give up my bed." You pressed your lips together, nodding slowly. Others think I can give everything, I think I can give everything but I can't. I've had a day that’s hard enough to let out at least a small sigh. Two gazes were looking at each other, but both gazes were entirely alone. Without much thought, you hesitantly leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. He responded naturally, opening wider to slip in some tongue. His lips—they were so cold, so why did it seem so warm? How could this feel just as right and perfect as the first time we've kissed. You were just melting into him, like ice. Frozen and silent. He held your hand tighter, sighing into you—he didn't want this moment to end. This was beautiful and his heart was so full, it was going to burst. Slightly he pulled away, out of breath. “Y/N...” He hugged you, but he couldn't feel you breathing. You were holding your breath, your chest tight with emotion and pain.

He spoke softly. “It’s okay to run out of breath sometimes, no one will blame you...” You wrapped your arms around his neck, his arms wrapped around your torso. You couldn’t help it, tears were falling from your eyes as you took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

Now don’t think of anything else Let out a deep sigh Just let it out like that.

Though I can’t understand your breath

It’s alright, I’ll hold you

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