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#andi: i should just go in drunk so i dont have to deal with any of.........that........
renamusing · 6 months
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While the writers keep playing us, here are some future plots to consider after robert comes back (ryan HAS to comeback at this point ok? i wont accept anything else):
Post-prison Denial - Aaron cannot forgive Robert or accept that he is back; he shifts the blame for Liv's death from Chas to Robert because Robert LEFT THEM
Post-prison Blues - Robert deals with his PTSD badly which engages Aaron's redemption arc; he stays by Robert's side and helps him through it
Reunion 3.0 / Seb's return - Robert gets access to Seb (he comes to some sort of agreement with Rebecca or something happens to her offscreen whatever) and seeing Rob and Seb (their son!!) together in the village destroys any willpower Aaron still had to fight against his feelings for Robert
Wedding 3.0 - this needs no explanation
Surrogacy 2.0 - i dont actually mind them going there again if only to get them their Sugden-Dingle daughter
The Return of Andy Sugden - everything is going well for Robert and Aaron but Andy's return shakes things up; the farmboy that Jack Sugden caught Robert with back in the day is working with Andy now; so we get jealousy and misunderstandings and high drama in the Still-Madly-In-Love-Husband front (because that's Aaron innit) and Robert finally tells Vic and Andy about what happened with his dad when he was young.
Teen Seb Comes to Stay - Seb decides he wants to live with his dads at the village permanently (rewashed Liv plot i know but im making it easy for them!!) there are issues with his little sister at first but they get quickly resolved. Seb and his auntie Eve become thick as thieves and become the village nightmares
The Return of Adam Barton - because Aaron needs his mate back at some point and I doubt Vic will settle with anyone else ever
Robron vs Caleb - this just seems like it would be fun idk. it could have something to do with Seb because he is just like his dads and finds trouble everywhere which Robert and Aaron always have to solve in the end
Robert vs Kim&Andy - at this point in my AU Andy is with Kim (romantically or as business partners idc) because it serves the purpose of killing two birds with one stone so that Robert can finally FINALLY win back Home Farm
Robert Sugden's Regression - being in charge of Home Farm ofc changes Robert a bit and he starts to become the thing he fears most: his father. Cue him pushing his children and Aaron to the breaking point until, in true soap-fashion, they break up again. The kids split too. Aaron takes their daughter and Seb stays with Robert. And this ofc leads to:
The Parent Trap: Robron Edition - Seb and his sister plot to get their dads back together through a series of funny shenanigans, but then one of them gets seriously hurt in an accident (they should watch out for those evil farm animals amirite? or was it another drunk driver? only the soap gods know) so all the progress they made crumbles. Aaron and Robert blame each other and seem broken up for good
The Biggest Mugs In The World - Aaron and Robert try to prove to themselves and their kids that they dont want anything to do with each other but every time Aaron sends Robert his divorce papers Robert 'misplaces them' until Aaron finds out Robert has been ripping them apart and chucking them into his fancy fireplace. They fight about Robert being a control freak and Aaron a jealous queen, because every person Robert has flirted with since they separated has ended up fleeing the village with their tail tucked between their legs (Aaron made sure of it). This goes on until they have angry make up sex and then hate themselves for it.
Reunion 4.0 - *PROBLEMATIC PLOT ALERT* Seb and Eve become romantically involved and try to hide it from their families (aunt and nephew fits the Dingle lore somehow lmao). When they are found out Robert goes apeshit and casts Seb out of the village (like his dad did to him once) but he and Seb are at The Layby and before Robert can make the biggest mistake of his life, the love of his life arrives just in time to stop him. Robert realizes what he has become and decides to leave Emmerdale himself (after all, he was always the disaster, the one unable to make anybody happy, he should have never comeback etc) but Aaron won't have it. They can't live without each other, and that fact has never been clearer than at that very moment (shot to a teary-eyed Seb behind Aaron). Robert begs for forgiveness and Aaron just scoffs because forgiving Robert is the easiest thing in the world. They had promised each other messed up forever, had they not?
You know. I know.
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saltynemo · 7 years
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Break Up PT.2
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WHATADO Everybody, its your boi Nemo back at it again with another fanfiction. Excuse my French but HOLY SH*T! Break-Up got like 65 notes. Damn, Ily guys so much. But  anyway, heres pt.2 since I left you all with a cliff hanger, and a surprise at the end ;)
Summery: Brendon decides to give Y/n some fresh air, and they both go out together. Unexpectedly, they see a familiar face
Type: Fluff?
Warnings: Cussing, A little angst at the end, lots of flirting, I think that's about it
Requested?: Yes
Word Count: 3k (3,007 words)
PT.1
So, without further a do, P-P-P-P-PLAY IT
I clench my fists, shaking uncontrollably. I start walking towards Audrey at a fast pace. Patrick apparently sees what I was going to do, so he raced for me. He held my arms, making me stop my movements. "Pete, kick her out" Pat said, rubbing my arms. Pete nodded, walking towards Audrey and Brendon. He grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her away from Brendon. "Dont let the door hit you on the way out" Pete added, pushing her out the door and slamming it. He sighed in relief that she was gone. We all heard pounding on the other side of the door, and alot of profanities. Patrick let go of me and stepped aside. I walked over to Brendon, who was at the verge of crying. "Desperate bitch" He muttered, looking up to me. I lighlty smiled at his comment. "Cmon, guys! That ass is gone, lets go back to the movie." Josh, Tyler, Andy, and Joe all yelled from the couch. "Lets just all calm down and relax" Pete said, heading towards the couch aswell. Me and Brendon layed a blanket and pillows down on the floor, since it was crouded on the couch. Brendons head was on my stomach so he was facing the TV. I played with his hair while he was dozing off to sleep. "Goodnight, Y/n" Brendon sighed. "Good night, Bren" I added, circling my finger on his forhead. I got tired of playing with Brendons head, so I stopped my actions and also dozed off to sleep. I fell asleep to the sound of some guy getting his ass beat from the TV, and Brendons snoring.
I opened my eyes slowly, seeing a ray of sunshine infront of me. Brendon was still laying on my stomach. He was rubbing my leg slowly. "How long have you been up" I whisper to him. "Too long" He replies, smiling up to me. "Im gonna go get some cereal" He says, getting up and creeping towards the kitchen. I follow him, since everyone else was still sleeping. He grabs 2 bowls as I grab the milk and cereal box. "Waffle Crisps?" Brendon says. "Thats all we have right now" I whisper back. We both set up 'breakfeast' and eat together. "So, when will the boys be up" I whisper, wanting to go outside. "They usually sleep in late..so I dont know. Maybe we can sneak out and do something" Brendon says back, winking. I blush at his comment, but think about it as well. "Maybe we can hang out at the mall, Its not like we have anything important to do" I request, stirring my cereal. "Sounds great!" He says, making it come out louder than it should have. "Shh, we dont wanna wake up the children do we" I joke, getting up from my seat. Brendon quietly laughs at my comment, getting up as well to put the dishes away. "Im gonna go get ready" I say, jogging to my bag. "Same, Ill be out in a few" Brendon says, heading towards his pile of clothes. I grab a lazy outfit and go into the bathroom to change. I didnt want to over dress, so I put on an oversized P!ATD hoodie with black skinny jeans. I unlock the bathroom door, so Brendon can walk in at any time. I put on some light make-up, just to look presentable. I run back out to the living room to grab my phone and wallet. "You ready?" Brendon says. I look over to him in shock. Hes wearing almost exactly what I am. "Im not changing, so we either go out like this or you change" I say in a stern, but funny, tone. "Im not changing either, so we will just have to live with it" Brendon says back, rolling his eyes. I laugh lightly. "Lets go" I sigh, but laughing a little afterwards.
Me and Brendon sneak out of the building and walk down the street. His car was parked a long ways away from here, so we had a little walking to do. Brendon put his arm around me so his fingers brushed across my back. "You ok?" I ask. "Yea-yea im fine" He replies, taking his hand away. I shrug it off and continue to walk with him.
Once we reach his car, I hop in and quickly grab the aux chord before he does. "I swear if you play 'Penis Sized Nipples' again, Ill drop you off somewhere far away from here" He warns, laughing a bit. I chuckle at his comment, thinking of what to put on. "I got something youll like. Its not trash from my perspective" I say, looking up the song on my phone. I put 'Taco Bell Saga' in the search title, trying not to lose my cool. I click the first video that comes up. "FAST FOOD GREASY TACO I LOVE" Blasts in the car. Brendon jumps in suprise, laughing hard. "NACHO BELL GRANDE CHEESY GORDITA" I begin to sing/scream. Brendon soon catches his breathe and yells with me, "I LIKE YOUR NACHOS LIKE DIARRHEA" He screams, pulling the car out onto the road. "MAN I REALLY LIKE TACO BELL" We both scream as we drive to the mall. The whole car ride, we were being stared at and being told to pay attention to the road. I really didnt care. I was with Brendon and thats all that mattered.
We made it to the mall, with our voices raspy from our screaming. It was fun though. I put my phone back in my pocket and walked with Brendon to the front door. "Can I get Dip n Dots?!" I ask, once I see a Dip N Dots booth. "Sure, I can go for some too" He replies, holding my hand and dragging me to the Cafiteria. Before we can make it, were hit with an excited voice. "BRENDON!!" A voice shouts. We both turn, expecting to see a fangirl. But it was better than that; It was Dallon Weekes [(Idc if I spelt it wrong lol)]!! "DALLON" Me and Brendon both shout to eachother. We make a group hug. It took us about 5 minutes for us to let go. "I havent seen you in like forever! How have you been!!" I yell, fist bumping him. He chuckles and we all talk together. We all started talking about the band, girlfriends/boyfriends, and just fun stuff. We began walking around the mall, messing with security guards and what not. We just did what teenagers would do.
After about running around the mall for 2 hours, I started getting tired. "My feeet hurrrrttt" I whine to the boys. "Deal with it" Brendon says, snickering. "Dalllooon, can you carry meeeeee?" I whine like a baby. "No, your like how old?? 25?" He says, laughing. "Awww is my poor girl upset" Brendon chimes in, laughing. I keep whining untill Dallon gives in. "Fine, Come here, you big baby" He says. He bends down a little, so I can piggy back him. "Why cant I get carried? Im tired too" Brendon says, pushing Dallon a little. "Because he loves me more" I joke, ruffling Dallons Hair.
We continue walking, untill I spot something. "HOT TOPIC!!" I yell, pointing. Both the boys jump, Dallon nearly dropping. "WHAT IS IT" Brendon yells. We get serveral eyes on us, people thinking 'Dumb Kids'. "MOVE BRENDON, DALLON WEEKES IS COMING. HURRY UP" I scream again, pointing to Hot Topic. Everyone laughs as Dallon walks fast to the front doors of Hot Topic. Im Emo trash so Hot Topic was like my home. He drops me, tired of carrying me. "How much do you weigh" He jokes. I push him and smile. "GUYS, MAKE WAY, THE EMO QUEEN IS HERE" I shout, running straight to the Emo Band T-Shirts. Everyone laughs again as I sprint to the back of the store. I go crazy, ignoring my bank account and money situiation.
Once I am finished shopping, I check out to the cashier. My total came to 210.75...I really let myself go. As I was handing the lady my card, Brendon grabs it and holds it over my head. He gives her his card instead. "Hey! Im paying for this! Not you" I yell, trying to get my card. "Try me, Suger" He replies, getting the recipt. I hold him by his ear as I grab my bag. I march him out of the store, Dallon follows along snickering. "I dont like to owe people!" I yell at him while I let go of his ear. He just stares blankly at my face, like what I said meant nothing to him. I got annoyed, "Hey, I said I-" I begin to say. All of the sudden, Brendon grabs my face and kisses me. Im put into utter shock, not being able to move. "Im gonna go to the bathroom" He says, breaking away and walking to the restrooms. "Didnt know that shot of Vodka would do that to him" Dallon mutters, kicking his feet on the ground. I break out of my shock and turn to him, "Shots of Vodka??" I ask, raising a brow. "While you went on your shopping spree, we decided to sneak out and take a couple of drinks in the bar down the street" He says, turning to me. "How long was I shopping??" I nearly yelled to him. Dallon laughed but then answered me, "Like about an hour, you went crazy!" He said, laughing more. I soon joined in with him, nearly falling down. Maybe I was drunk too. I steady myself on Dallons shoulder, trying to catch my breathe. Brendon comes back, drying his hands on his shirt. "What time is it?" I ask, standing up straight. "Oh, its...7:00?!" Brendon shrieks, shocked at how late it is. "Oh my Josh, Im so Dun right now" Dallon yells, almost falling on the floor from laughing. "Shut up! Thats so cringy" I say to him, laughing too. Me, Brendon, and Dallon are all laughing messes, falling on the floor and just loosing our shit.
Once we catch our breathe, we all stand back up. "Well, me and Y/n wanna go somewhere else before we go home. Wanna join?" Brendon asks Dallon. "Nah, sorry. I gotta be somewhere" He replies, grabbing his stuff off the ground. "Cya around then!" I cheer, hugging him before I go back to Brendon. Brendon fists bumps him and we say goodbye. "So, where do you wanna go? Dallon told me about a bar down the street" I say, nudging him. "Yea, sounds fun! Lets go there!" Brendon cheers, holding my hand. Why is so attracted to me all of the sudden? Maybe he is just happy im here, I shouldnt get my hopes up.
Once at the bar, It was kind of empty at first. "Cmon" Brendon says, taking my arm. He knows I dont drink that much, why did I even suggest this? Me and Brendon sit on the side of the bar. "Can I have 2 T-" Brendon says, before relizing who the bar tender is. Its Audrey..she really let her self go. Cakey make-up,a shirt that is way too tight for her, blue eyeliner, and very skinny jeans. Suprised she fit in those. "Oh, who look who it is..Brendon" She says with a smirk. "T-two tequilas" He stutters out, quickly turning away. I give Brendon a "Oh Shit" look before turning away as well. "Sure thing, sexy-thang" She replies, making our drinks. "First of all, you know ill get drunk as hell if i drink Tequila, second of all, I had know clue she works here" I whisper in Brendons ear. Brendon laughs lightly, "We didnt come here to be sober, your getting drunk tonight. I dont care if we have to get a taxi" He replied, turning back to the bar. "Heres your drinks" Audrey says with a wink. Brendon rolls his eyes at her and hands me the drink. "I dont wanna get that drunk tonight though.." I sigh, stirring it. "Dont be a whimp, just drink it" He laughs, taking a sip. "But Bren-" He takes my drink and holds it up to my lips, leaning it so the alchohal pours into my mouth. "Down the hatch, babe" He mutters, making me chug the drink. He takes the glass away from my lips and puts it on the table. "Damnit Bren" I say, chuckling a small bit. I whipe my mouth and glance at Audrey. Her expression is full on jelousy. "2 more!" Brendon calls out to Audrey. She scoffs and starts making them. "Brendon! i swear" "Your getting hammered tonight...WERE getting hammered tonight" He says, ruffling my hair. I roll my eyes, turning so im facing the bar. "Here you go" Audrey sighs, placing down the drink roughly. I stare at the moving alchohal for what seems forever, untill Brendon talks. "If you dont drink that your self, Ill spoon feed you it" He says, already chugging down his drink. I sigh and put the glass to my lips. I, suprisingly, chug all of the Tequila down. Brendon pats my back in praise, almost making me spit the liquid out of my mouth. I already see Brendon getting drunk. His eyes look tired and hes stumbling kind of. I already feel dizzy since im a lighthead. Tonights going to be a long night...
*TIME SKIP Brought to you by Andy's beard*
Im hammered as hell. Me and Brendon both. We have been slurring back and fourth to eachother, most of them being flirts-since we dont even know what were doing. "You-you remind me of my pinky toe" Brendon slurrs, downing his drink. "Why is that" I ask with a smirk, knowing the answer already. "Because your small, fragile *hiccup* and will probably be banged againts my coffee table later tonight" He says with a wink. We both laugh at how dumb we look compared to the rest of the bar. Except for Audrey, she was a bull who just saw a red cape. She was so angry I thought she was going to strangle me right then and there. "I got one" I say, nearly dropping my 5th tequila. "Are you a lit candle?" I ask, resting my hand on his thigh. He smirks, placing his drink down on the table. "Because on my birthday, I wanna blow you" I slurr. "Nice one, but I *hiccup* got a good joke" He says, holding my hand thats on his thigh. "Wait! Let me go again, I want a nother chance" I say, looking into his eyes. "Fine, I cant say no to you" Brendon replies, looking back into mine. I laugh a little at how hammered we are. I grab my drink again and finish it off. "What does a Scientist plant in a garden?" "A Chemis-tree!" I cheer, throwing my head back and laughing. Brendon didnt laugh though, he just kept staring at me. I looked back to him, "Oh-cmon that was funny" I say, looking back to him. "Sorry, Y/n. Its just that your beauty caught me off guard" He says in a romantic tone. "Oh-shut up, your so cringy" I laugh, pushing him a little..he didnt budge. "Your just so hot when your drunk" He mutters to me. "You made me this way" I say, chuckling. "Just-god damn it" He said before roughly kissing me. I tried to kiss back, but it was hard to match the pace of his movements. He pulled away after what seemed like forever, "Thanks, I needed that" Brendon said, adjusting his sitting position. I was still for a minute, thinking about what Brendon just did and what I just did. "You ok?" Brendon chuckles, seeing my state of mind. "I need another drink" I say, laughing. "I think you had eno-" "2 shots of whiskey" I interupt him, asking Audrey for another drink. She glares at me, only walking away to get the glasses. "Jesus, Y/n. Whiskeys pretty rough, you know?" He says in a concerned tone. "Aww, is my poor little Brendon too much of a pussy to get one more drink?" I say with a smirk. "Whoa whoa whoa, who are you callin a softy?" He says, holding up a hand. "You heard me" I reply, smirking more. Audrey slams the shots down infront of us; it was obviouse she was mad. "Down the hatch, babe" I mock, putting the glass to my lips and drinking it. He just smiles and downs his shot glass too.
Me and Brendon went back to slurring our jokes and flirts to eachother. But half way through our conversation, I noticed I had to use the restroom. "What do you call a *hiccup* pretty girl on a drummers arm?" "A Tattoo!" He slurrs, almost dropping his empty glass. I fake laugh, noticing I really had to go. "Im gonna use the restroom" I say, strolling over to the ladies bathroom. I sway my hips a little bit-but not too much-just to give Brendon a hint. I dont know what kind of hint, but just some kind of a hint. Once I turn a corner to where the restrooms were, I saw Satan. Shit. It was Audrey, casually holding a beer bottle in her hand. "Hey, Y/n. Hows life with Brenny?" She says in a bitchy tone. "Please-im not going to do this now" I simply say, trying to get past her. She blocks the door, "Hey, Im not done with you just yet" She says, stopping me. "Look, Im not in the mood to have a brawl with you out in the middle of a bar. I have to pee" I say, pushing her out the way and walking into the ladies restroom. "Hey im not done with you yet!" She yells to me. I keep walking, ignoring her and pretty much everything. "Thats it!" Audrey screams. Then, suddenly, something strikes my head, and shatters. Im left in complete darkness.
(Surprise surprise, another cliff hanger HAHAHAH, Ill make a Break Up PT.3 If you request, and maybe Ill make it smutty who knows. But I hope you liked it and cya next time :D)
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rooftopprendezvous · 7 years
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Protective/Supportive Aaron
For @bartsugsy and @sapphicsugden as requested (Includes some paraphrasing.)
•6th February 2015 Remember that one minor incident when Aaron sent Robert away to get married and rid Wylie’s of any evidence that they were ever there and continued to keep that secret even after he found out Robert pushed Katie. Which is the only reason Robert’s gorgeous ass hasn’t been rotting away in a prison cell for the last two years. But no big deal. Just Aaron saving Robert on a daily basis. •9th February 2015 Aaron’s new mantra where Robert and Katie’s death are concerned “It’s not his fault!”  •10th February 2015 The slap heard round the world when mama bear Chas turns feral on her cub because Aaron dares to blame Katie for sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. Obviously it was Katie’s fault Robert burnt down her caravan. •11th February 2015 Go ahead and tell Chrissie I’ve been boning her husband mum and WE ARE DONE!!!  •9th April 2015 BTW Paddy. I totally text Katie and told her to meet me at Wylie’s that day. It was all totes my fault and you shouldn’t blame Robert for anything! EVER!!! •12th May 2015 God Robert why are you such a human disastercase getting drunk off a single pint (👀👀👀) of whiskey? Let me help you back to the pub, get you a glass of water and kindly let you sneak in a little snog. •13th May 2015 *Clears throat* Excuse me Chrissie, I might have been one of the people who broke into your house so I know for a fact Robert’s super sorry about it. Now can you please take your sad sack of a husband back? (Even if I still kind of sort of love him and want him to be mine.) •25th June 2015 Cain my man! I know Robert might look really good with a bruised face but you still can’t beat the hell out of him like this. Here babes. Let me help you home and pretend it has nothing to do with my ongoing struggle over how much I still love you. K…K…cool. •21st July 2015 Geez “Dad”! My boyfriend’s a total idiot who likes to run his mouth off but stop making up lies and saying he tried to bury you in a grain pit. While you’re at it stay away from me!   •25th September 2015 (Also 22nd October 2015) Listen dude, I really hate you but I’m still going to cry over your bleeding body while I try to stop the life from leaving you and decide if I really want you to live or die. •18th March 2016 *Chokes on beer* LIV! It’s super inappropriate to ask someone what it’s like getting shot and we defs don’t ask to see the scar. (Side eye…especially since I still haven’t seen it yet.) •5th April 2016 So the thing is Robert, my little sister is a bit confused right now and she recorded you saying you bribed Ryan. Now we both know that was a really ridic move on your part but you’ve been super amazing and taken care of me a lot and I really don’t want anything to happen to you for protecting me so I’ll try to do the same for you. •10th May 2016 Hey now missy! I will tolerate a lot but I draw the line at comparing my boyfriends godlike face to that of a rodent. Show some respect. You know I missed out on some…..tea time…with him yesterday because of you. • 6th June 2016 Okay I’ve been in jail enough times to know the rules so you need to let my guy go before I really start to lose it. And you Olivia Flaherty take a good look at everything Robert has done recently because guess what. THAT’S LOVE! ALL OF IT WAS BECAUSE HE LOVES ME! •14 July 2016 *Staring at Robert dreamily* What’s that officer? I was busy mooning over him calling me his boyfriend. Oh yeah. He DEFINITELY bought me a super sweet expensive watch back in February. •16 August 2016 Babe that purse doesn’t really go with your outfit AND NEITHER WILL HANDCUFFS IF YOU GET SENT DOWN FOR HELPING YOUR BROTHER. Please don’t risk your life and our future for that. I can’t lose you. •17 August 2016 Fiiiiiiiiine……..I’ll help you take down Lachlan and the Whites (even though I dont really think it’s a good idea) but we have to be super careful or someone (namely us) could get hurt. •31 August 2016 Lachlan: I’m gonna kill you. Aaron: Human shield activate. Robert: That was hot as hell! He is so getting laid tonight. •17 October 2016 Hey there Lachlan! Let me show you what happens when vile little cretins such as yourself threaten my love and my life. First, you get your head shoved in this conveniently placed barrel of water. Then thrown in the boot of my car. •20 October 2016 ROBERT PLEASE GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING CAR! I’M SCARED OF DYING BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I NEED YOU TO LIVE! •08 November 2016 Diane, Robert was just trying to help Andy and do what he thought was best for your family. *mumbles under breath* Not that any of you would ever notice or appreciate the way he bends over backwards for you anyways. • 11th November 2016 Here love. Let me rub your back and console you while you mourn your mother. Sorry your siblings couldn’t make it. •1st December 2016 THE HE’S MINE BACK OFF LADY DEATH STARE!!! If looks could kill Rebecca would be long gone and this storyline would never have happened. (I’m counting it! Fight me!) •5th January 2017 I’m sorry Chrissie, remind me again how it’s Robert’s fault Lachlan shot your dad? Pretty sure he picked that gun up all on his own. So stop ruining my birthday!  •20th January 2017 Robert you really are a total flaming idiot if you don’t take this opportunity to run a mile because I’m not good for you.  •21st February 2017 Robert Jacob Sugden you are amazing! You did everything in your power to give me the wedding of my dreams and more importantly than that you chose the pub where I was dared you to stand up and proudly announce to everyone who and what you are.  •21st February 2017 Whoa there Diane how about we get you a drink and avoid talking about Jack. (Because he totally didn’t deserve someone as incredible as Robert. He should have loved him unconditionally and if he was here today I’d probably knock him on his ass for messing with this beautiful man’s head.) Although, babe you really should think about talking to Vic and Diane about it. It might help you to move on. •6th April 2017 OMG babe! I’m so sorry I accidentally punched you’re perfect beautiful face. (This time I really didn’t mean it.) Here let me caress it softly and make it all better. There there now. •12th April 2017 Listen Robert we both know you didn’t get that tummy by running on the regular. Save yourself and go home before you keel over and die. I’ll be fine. (Okay so it’s a stretch but I feel a tummy mention is just expected of me at this point.)
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komcrebi-moved · 3 years
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"Well you look about 34." And she proceeds to hit him, count it! ... 30 times. One for good luck, maybe? She's not hitting him full force, and really, its just repeatedly in his upper arm -- which probably went numb halfway through.
"There. Don't be a baby. Birthday bitch." She shoved a little paper bag into his doubled-over form. It contained a small bottle of champagne and a meme calendar.
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 He only manages half of his absolutely exasperated “EXCUSE ME??” before her fist connects with his arm. To which he squawks at, of course. But overall? He takes it like a champ, with only minimal grumbling and frowning. But then-- Oh. Something dawns on him. He looks down at his arm, the skin red. But before he’s able to exclaim anything, she’s shoving a gift into his hands, and he can’t help the dumb staring and blinking, nor the semi nervous, semi confused laughter that bubbles out of him. “Thank you--” he starts, but quickly adds, almost pleadingly-- “Y--you know I have an appointment with Recovery Girl tomorrow, right??” Gestures to his arm. “What if that bruises?” he’s laughing now.. or was that crying? (it was laughter). “What am I supposed to tell her--??” A sigh in resignation, and he draws the champagne from the bag with a grin. “Eh... Maybe I should just chug this before my appointment?” a tick, and his smile drops. “Oh my god.... Do you think she can ‘recovery girl’ drunkenness away?”     // @theoriesoflove
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