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thehistoriangirl · 2 years

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You’ll See Me in Your Arms

This one got delayed more than expected because I had to rewrite the first part three times 🤡 perhaps it’s a divine signal to not let the fics in a cliffhanger again. Anyway, I hope you like it :)

Second part of this one

Jayce x Fem!Reader [Soulmate AU]----- 8.2K----SFW

Synopsys: In a world where you can only know the identity of your soulmate through your dreams, having no dreams at all is problematic. Tired of your family and friends looking at you with pity, you decided it's better to run away and start over. But you can't escape yourself and the deep longing that pierced you day and night, especially when meeting one of the Hextech creators.

When you thought the day couldn’t get worse, you didn’t say it like a challenge.

You wanted Viktor to go away. His piercing eyes glued into each step you took towards the empty worktable on the opposite side of where he was once you gathered the courage to move.

"Why are you here? Who send you, Jayce?" Of course it has to be Jayce. After what he witnessed, it was only logical he wanted to check on you. You must have looked out of your mind running away onto the empty streets without a believable excuse.

Heat covered your cheeks.

“I think I can decide where to go on my own, Miss y/n.” His ironic tone made you weave your fingers firmly together. “But Jayce did ask me to check on you when I got spare time. I am simply here for another… reason.”

“And what is it, my dreams?” you scoffed, panic and shame crawling into the shivering edge of your voice. The words blurted out dry and stumbled into one another. “And why does that concern you, exactly?”

We’re strangers. You bit your tongue, trying to avoid the words spit out, to not make another negative impression or be rude to the other Hextech inventor. For his stoic expression, Viktor was thinking the same.

“Because I care about Jayce,” he answered right away, voice faltered.

You frowned. "I will apologize to him later this afternoon if that concerns you that much." Turning around, you pretended to look for something in your bag. "Please get out now, I want to be alone."

But the chair never slid, and neither did you hear the thump of his cane echoing away.

“You still haven’t answered me.” Leaning against the cold surface, you tried to drop your tense shoulders without success.

“Don’t you think you’re pushing too much?” you said between gritted teeth.

They’re gone, that’s why I can’t dream about them. I’m a failure than even nature thought I don’t deserve a soulmate. A lie after another. Tears prickled behind your eyes and trying to inhale deep breaths, you could feel your body shivering slightly.

My soulmate is dead. I’m broken, defective. Why was so difficult to say? Just like this moment, you could picture a dozen of them being so similar they ached deep in your chest with each frantic heartbeat. That’s why you left home.

Perhaps saying it would allow you to let go of it. Your hands became fists.

My soulmate is…

“Well, I can tell you about my dreams first if that help.”

“Let’s hear it, then” you muttered, half-turning to the desk.

He shrugged, lips widening in a smile that was both careless and amused. "I had them; I never give them relevance. That's it."

“You just… ignore them?”

“Yes. I find them quite restricting.” He was beginning to fidget with the handle of his cane, eyes averting yours. “But I understand some people bestow them with a central role in their lives." Viktor paused, looking at you with eyebrows raised.

Like you. Why did it feel like an accusation?

“Like Jayce, I guess,” you added, because you had to, or maybe because you wanted to be sure. Even if your stomach felt filled with rocks, cold crawling into your fingers, antagonizing contrast with the flush painted in your cheeks.

He nodded. “You guessed right.”

Something deflated inside you. "Oh." Still, there was some naïve part of you expectantly to hear a negative.

You tried to shrink yourself, tugging at both sides of your jacket. Even if nothing was embarrassing to admit such a thing. Deep down you knew it wasn't because of you. It was how the world had been weaved around dreams of love and a personal quest to find it. It made people feel magical too, like a mage, even if the Arcane would never speak with or through them.

Something you could never be, either.

Seeing your doubtful pause, Viktor sighed. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Unless," he said, scanning the scattered papers across the desk as if a particularly complicated equation were laying there; “something happened that made those dreams compromising to even think about talk about them out loud.”

You blinked to disguise your sudden wide eyes. “I—"

“It’s getting late, I will get going.” Viktor pushed himself up, groaning when he had to extend his right leg. The dragging of the chair across the floor made you jump. “I see you’re fine.”

That was a bold understatement.

“Do you?”

He stopped midway to the door, looking at you over his shoulder. “Ah, I almost forget.” His cane thumped loudly against the marble floor when he turned to face you. “I would like to tell you that magic isn’t a two-way communication in the majority of cases.” He shrugged, gesturing gently with his free hand.

“What?” Why was he talking about magic with you? You weren’t an expert in the subject, far from it.

"Eh, you can decontextualize this premise and apply it to another kind of magic. Maybe for mages and the Arcane it won't work, but certainly, it can apply for the… dreams. Focus on those." His eyes twinkled. "You can't control who is your soulmate, you can't control the appearance of dreams either.”

Viktor paused, softening his tone to a mere whisper. “Therefore, if something fails, it isn’t because of you.”

Your breath got caught in your throat, the burning sensation coming back to your eyes. “And if the communication is one-way between three parties,” he continued, “then the other end doesn’t have to show the same affectation.”

Did he know? But how? Or it was just a wild guess?

He didn’t stay to contemplate the confusion and panic written down your features.

“Why… why are you telling me this?” you had to follow him, charmed like a moth to a fly around the flame. Your words danced bigger and distorted thanks to the echo of the empty hall walls.

"Because I think you can take care of Jayce when I'm gone." He didn't look back, hiding his tone and expression behind a calm cadence. "After all, you both share the same… values."

How can he bet for it if you weren't close? "But wait— you… did you say you're leaving? Where? Why?" Your hands twitched at the thought of putting a hand on his shoulder. But you two weren't close. You weren’t Jayce. "Does Jayce… know?"

“No. Not yet. I…” his voice became distant, overwhelming silence embracing both. "I have to take care of some… personal matters in my hometown. I—I don't know if I will come back. Or when." He began to walk again, getting away from you.

“But Jayce isn’t going to miss you? You two look like very close friends.” Viktor stumbled a couple of steps away, a flinch that ended with him pressed against his cane.

“Yes, we are very… close friends.” The wood in the handle cracked at the pressure he grasped it with. “I believe it’s for the best. The best for both, I mean. I’ve thought about it carefully.” This time, he looked at you barely turning his face. “I will let him know my resolution this evening.”

You found yourself with your lips pressed in a tense line, hands filled with the fabric of your uniform. "Thank you", you muttered when he looked away. "For... trusting me."

Viktor cast a minuscule smile that gave his voice an airy end. "Do not let him down, Miss y/n."

When Viktor continued to walk away until he turned the corner, you still were glued in the same spot he left you.

*~*~*~*

That day you didn’t eat lunch. It wasn’t because Heimerdinger gave you the horrible news about the resolutions of the Council meeting.

He was cast away from his role as both a Council member and as the Dean of the Academy. The yordle let you in care of packing the lab things while he made the same for the main office. Even if Heimerdinger promised you he would try to find another colleague to hire you as their assistant, you were aware the situation was complicated; being demised from such a position came with a backlash among social circles.

Now that he wasn't important the people wouldn't be so open to considering taking you in as a favor.

You tried to distract packing as neatly as you could, but at the tenth box, you felt a headache growing. Was it for hunger? Or was stress? It didn’t matter. It was way past lunchtime, but your stomach felt heavy and bloated. Contemplating the city through the open balcony, you thought if Viktor would already have told Jayce about his leaving.

Your heart felt as if it would be pressed into a fist. You wanted to go find him, but it terrified you to think about the look on his face after last night. Would he be mad? Disappointed? Sad?

There wasn't an appealing option.

So you waited. Even when you felt like a coward, even if you knew the issue wouldn’t disappear if you delayed further enough. Piltover turned from gold to bronze, the reddish dusk light filling the now half-empty lab into a room aflame. The cold wind moved your uniform, but it didn't help you soothe your nerves.

The floor was covered in boxes, making it hard to walk in circles while you waited for a speck of bravery.

You breathed in and out a couple of times and at seeing the sunlight dim and the streetlamps enlightened, you forced yourself to go to the balcony and admire the city one last time. But instead, your gaze was directed towards the sitting, slumped figure over one of the benches of the courtyard. Even if you couldn't see his face clearly, it looked like…

“Jayce?” Instinctively, you leaned against the stone rail, but his face was buried between his hands.

You retreat inside when you saw him move. Biting your thumb, you took your bag and quietly closed the balcony doors.

It was night when you got to descend all the stairs to the main hall. And only you opened the main doors because the place was empty and dark. It seemed the guards patrolling only used flashlights to guide themselves through the endless corridors.

Stumbling into the cobblestone path, you froze when Jayce looked right at you. It was too late to run back inside.

Despise the lashing wind, you could hear your name quite clearly when Jayce said it. And you blamed that for your feet to begin moving towards him. And you also accounted responsible for his soft hazel gaze to be drawn to him so close you got no other choice than to hug him.

"I'm sorry," you said mechanically, chin against the top of his head. He was still sitting on the bench, his hands wrapped around your back. “I’m sorry.”

You were, for everything. But the words didn’t come out to explain properly.

“Viktor is leaving,” he muttered against your clothes. “But he was right, he told you would find me.”

Your hands twitched, and you were glad he couldn’t see your flushed expression. “Were you… waiting for me?”

He nodded. Was he going to continue hugging you? It wasn’t bad, but still…

Even if Viktor was telling the truth, there was an everlasting feeling of betrayal about tricking you into thinking that other people would be willing to ignore their soulmates' bonds just because of you.

Especially Jayce.

You pushed him away. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk?”

He paused, his hands rested awkwardly in his lap when you got to sit next to him. The bench was cold, but you thought the goosebumps weren't a product of it.

“Viktor told me he will leave Piltover tomorrow first thing in the morning.” He shook his head. “His mother is sick, so he wants to take care of her in their family house but…” Jayce trailed off, and sighed, shoulders slumping. “I don’t know, I feel I’m useless to everyone I care for. I’m doing my best, but it looks that is not enough to let them stay with me.”

Your lips curved down. He continued after one or two blows of wind ran through both.

“When I envisioned Hextech I wanted to help people, just like Viktor. But now that Viktor needs my help to bettering his hometown my hands are tied. And even now, it’s too late to act.”

“Is it because you couldn’t present anything yesterday?” you didn't know what to say.

“It’s a problem that’s been dragging further than yesterday.” He passed a hand through his face. “Viktor left and Heimerdinger too. Both my partner and my role model. I’m lost and stuck. I don’t know what I should do anymore.”

You accommodate your jacket, buttoning up until the warm fabric was around your neck, despite the overwhelming heat that was boiling from your face to your stomach. “Not blame yourself for things that are out of your control. Heimerdinger’s demise wasn’t because of you.”

A bitter laugh blurted out of him. You recoiled, wanted to make yourself a ball. “I am the reason Heimerdinger was cast out of the Council. Even if it was a pretext to push progress further outside his immortal, stable envision of things, I still feel like a traitor.”

"Then…" you bit your lip. "Then maybe you should focus on what you can do now that you have a landscape more barrier-free. You know, to try your best so when Viktor comes back both could engage completely in your initial dream.”

He paused. "Did Viktor tell you he will come back?"

Your chest pressed. “No. But I’m sure he will. He looked as if he didn't want to go away."

But then why did he leave? You shook your head, putting a hand on his shoulder, as light as you could.

"You're not a traitor, Jayce. You're trying your best, and I'm sure both Professor Heimerdinger and Viktor see it, even if sometimes you aren't on the same side.”

“Sometimes trying isn’t enough, I guess.”

“With time it will be." You leaned and hugged him, this time without another silly excuse except for the one that both your heart and head wanted to repeat the experience. “When you gain power and influence you could continue yours and Viktor’s dream to help people.” With a smile, you looked right into his eyes, the ones that reflected your face with brightness and yearning that made your chest flutter. “Look at everything you accomplished already. Nothing’s impossible now.”

The moment got suspended, or maybe you two were the only ones lost between each other's arms and the warmth your mutual gazes provided. "I still think of something impossible."

You had to regain all your life strength to put him at an arm's distance. The small smile on your face didn't make his deep grimace go away.

I think you can take care of Jayce. You weren’t so sure now.

“Let’s go to have dinner,” you said, getting up with an extended hand towards him. “It’s getting cold.”

He blinked and you realized you still haven’t apologized for last night.

“Yes, I forgot to bring my coat.” Jayce looked at you suspiciously when you both began to walk side to side, but neither of you pressed the subject. Passing through the same streets felt like bad joke life was poking at you, but you kept your eyes fixed in front, peeking at Jayce putting his hands inside his pockets to hide his light shivers.

“Hey,” you said, taking off your jacket. Under it you had a long-sleeved light sweater and your vest; “you can take my coat. Uh… I know it’s not going to fit you, but I see you’re shivering.” You shrugged, tending the cloth towards him. “You don’t want to catch a cold, do you?”

“You don’t have to, I’m not really cold.”

“I may not know you from that long, but I can notice when you’re lying.”

“It’s just…” you could see the building from across the street when you both stopped to let Jayce put on your jacket, even if only covered half his torso, the sleeves knotted in front so it didn't slip out because he couldn’t fit his shoulders inside it. “I’m going to miss Viktor. He was the one who usually remembered me to get my things in order. And vice versa.”

“Well, if he’s not so far from here, you could visit him from time to time.” The place was almost full. The smell of food and muffled conversations draw you away from the current topic. One couple sitting near the windows seemed similar to your newlywed friend. You extended your hand to tug Jayce's hand, but forget he wasn’t wearing a coat, so instead your hands brushed.

You jumped backward when he turned to see you.

“Uh, what if we order takeout? There are many people here.” Your eyes diverted towards the distant couple.

Jayce blinked, lips opening and closing as if he were thinking about asking you something but regretting it every time. He only nodded and went to the counter to ask for a couple of sandwiches and some drinks to go. You tried to remain calm, but the ambiance didn’t help you. The last thing you wanted to do was mess up everything again.

Even Jayce looked nervous when carrying the food. You opened the door, careful to not make noise and direct the attention to you, despite of the couple were your acquaintances or not.

“So, where do you want to eat?”

You felt your cheeks hot. “Uh, I didn’t think about that.” You only wanted to get out. A sigh escaped your lips. “There are benches in a square over there, where there are a bunch of statues.”

I saw them yesterday while I was running away.

“I… wanted to apologize,” you managed to say after you two found a proper seat on a bench partially covered to the wind by a founder’s statue. “For running away last night. I didn’t want to appear as rude, and I’m sorry you got worried because of me.” You still weren't hungry, but you were forced to take a bite of the food as you tried to mask the anxiety bubbling through your being.

“I tried to look for you, but I lost which way you were running to. Are you okay? It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me. I’m glad you are here today, with me.”

“I think it’s only fair I tell you the truth.” You set the sandwich aside, sipping slowly at your drink, a warm tea. “The couple that stopped to talk with me last night, I know them from my hometown, they’re my… acquaintances.” It would be too sour of a lie to say you considered them close friends, maybe once they were, but no more.

“Yes. I remember that one of them asked you about…”

“If I’ve met my soulmate, yes.” You couldn’t stand for him to repeat those words, not him. “Because… because…” Think, think, you can do it… Oh! “Because I’ve been avoiding them since I began to have the dreams.”

He stopped midway to take his coffee. “Are you avoiding your soulmate?”

“Yes!" You opened your mouth, thinking how much Viktor would hate it if he ever got to hear this. “I think it’s a situation very… oppressing, you know? That some magic dictates who you should be paired with.”

The paper bag crunched when Jayce began to fidget with it, eyes lost in the ground. “Yes, I’ve heard that before, too. So you were running because you felt pressured when they reminded you about it?”

“Exactly. They just got married, so my parents stressed me over finding my soulmate even if I don't want to. They remembered that, so I panicked and left.” Every word was sourer than the last, your stomach turned upside down with a knot installed inside your throat.

His hazel eyes lost their shine for a couple of seconds, but it happened so fast and you were so distracted you barely notice the slight grimace.

“That’s why you move to Piltover, to run away from your soulmate?”

“Indeed.” Your shoulders slumped. “Would it be much to ask not to say it to anyone? It’s kind of embarrassing for me. I just gather the courage to tell you because Viktor reassured me about it in the morning.”

“It’s good he found someone who shares his values.” Jayce gave you a half-smile. “Sure, your secret is safe.”

"And, and what about your soulmate?" you had to say because it was etiquette. Not because you were both terrified and intrigued to know.

“Mine?” he laughed quietly. “I just met them. We see each other at work almost every day, but we are both very busy. And I don’t know if something is going to happen between us.”

“I see.” Even if you wanted to say more, it was the only noise your suffocated throat could make. You had to put the food aside in order not to throw up. What were you thinking? It wasn’t shocking in the slightest.

Despite Viktor's words, at that moment, you felt like a huge failure. But you were forced to fake a smile once you noticed Jayce was looking at you.

“Congrats, I hope you two can be happy."

He tilted his head. “Thank you. I hope so, too.”

"I should get going." From one blink to another, the wave of problems sieged your body. Coldness crawling its way to your feet and hands alongside the headache that reduced once you encountered Jayce, but that now came with double the strength. “I have to pack my things.”

Jayce furrowed. “Are you leaving?”

“Yes. No. Well— I don’t know.” You didn’t want to look at him, recalling how ashamed he looked when he told you about Heimerdinger’s situation. “You know, I… can’t be assistant of Heimerdinger now that he isn’t the Dean of the Academy.”

He closed his eyes as if you punched him. “B-but I think I can find another job! Don’t feel bad, it isn’t your fault. I’m just packing in case I have to find another cheaper place to stay.”

"Don't." Jayce paused, putting one hand on your shoulder. "Please, stay with me. I would need your help.”

“Um—?”

“I didn’t tell you the whole story,” he was so big even when he was trying to make his body a ball, elbows against his tighs. But this time, instead of hiding his face between his hands, he only used one to tilt his face in your direction. “I… am sort of… a Councilor now.”

Your head darted towards him. "What?”

“There always must be six spots in the Council. So I filled out Heimerdinger’s position.”

The nonchalant tone made it look even weirder. You almost jumped out of your seat. "I just let a Councilor eat his dinner on a public bench?”

“You made it sound like a crime.”

“Is that some kind of fault to the authority or something?” He burst into laughter, the sound made your nervousness slide away faintly as you untangled your fingers, but that didn’t erase his words. “You just said you need my help? What for?” There was no chance you were addressing the other part.

"Yes, I need assistance."

“Oddly convenient.” You drink the rest of the tea after you speak, the cold liquid gave you goosebumps. Of course, it had to be the drink. "Don't you already have an assistant?"

"Sky is the lab assistant. You would be the one in charge of the political side.” He leaned against the bench, legs extended in front. “Isn’t that what you did for Heimerdinger?”

"I only assisted him for less than a week." You shrugged. "I don't know the whole job.”

“Then we’ll both learn about it along the way.” He smiled softly. "Being honest, I don't know how to be a Councilor either. You’re not alone about not knowing the whole picture.”

Thank you, for trusting me. But the words didn’t come out. Instead, you quoted Viktor. A little apology for your last pile of lies.

“I won’t let you down, Jayce.”

He stopped his hand to pat you on the head and instead conformed with patting your shoulder once again. "I know.”

The smile drawn on his lips was half sad when you two parted ways outside your inn, even if he tried to disguise it. It made your heart squeeze painfully. A stupid part of you wanted to make him happy, so you had to pretend it was because you were fully dedicated to your new job. After all, he saved you the trouble of finding another position fast enough in order nobody from home could know about the job fiasco, that would have been added alongside the burden of your soulmate failure.

The soulmate failure. When you peeked through your curtains, Jayce was already gone. It was almost 11 PM, shockingly the time had flown when you both were only sitting on that square’s bench, talking and trying to lift each other’s hopes.

Collapsing in bed, you pressed the palms of your hands against your eyes. In the middle of the darkness, you muttered: “Why did you have to say that?” A golden, cold glare looked back at you through the darkness.

“I’m sorry.” You sit over the warm blankets, a hand covering your mouth. “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t want to know to whom you were apologizing. Each one of the options was equally embarrassing because of your cowardice, but no one of them hurt more than the last one when the only person left to ask for forgiveness was yourself.

All your life, all the time trying to ignore and erase the mistake magic itself inflicted upon your existence, always retreating halfway, feeling the burden of not meeting expectations or the broken dream that until the early teens you kept nourishing restlessly.

Was still too hard to let go? To forgive and amend the actual order of things?

The only person that hoped for it to change drastically as yourself. Even if it was impossible because you couldn't dream anymore. Because you never dreamt, and you would never do it.

Because Jayce Talis just told you he had already a soulmate. Your rapid pulse echoed in your ears as your headache waved back at your brain, flooding into your eyes in the way the room looked red at the borders of your vision.

Was it ridiculous to be in such a miserable state for something totally out of your control? Yes, but you couldn't stop, no matter how hard you tried.

Sighing, you looked in your luggage for some sedatives you packed each time the headache assaulted you back home, usually at nights as lonely and turbulent as this one.

As you swallowed one bitter pill, tears slipped down your cheeks.

You should have never come to Piltover.

*~*~*~*

The days passed fast once you developed a consistent routine. Every day you woke up at the same hour and went to the same little office in the same building at the Academy. Seeing Jayce every other day, but mostly only supervising him from afar in aspects like carrying the food for him to have lunch and breakfast, in scarce occasions for dinner too. Scheduling important events such as Council meetings, and the ever-growing public events.

Sky taught you enough to help her out outlining some blueprints Jayce had to leave incomplete due to his new and more active political side. Even if you only corrected the measurements and helped in the design, Sky and you were glad to have each other’s company in the mostly empty lab.

But it was good that Jayce wasn't around daily. It helped you soothe your cloudy mind when it came to the judgment of your feelings.

Your heart thumped faster at the mere thought of Jayce, and every night you hated yourself for it. The status quo of the day maintained you on track, but from time to time you stayed late in the lab, only to hear a knock on your door from Jayce asking you out to take dinner before going back home.

Each week those meetings reduced, and even if the logical part of your brain was thankful for it, the other ached with a loss. You missed him, and you longed from him but… each memory of you two walking side to side in the half-empty streets, of the streetlamps, sometimes outlining your figures as if you two were taken by the hand, outweighed the discretion of your feelings.

Even when he was gone, and maybe because he was gone, your yearning expanded into an unbearable awareness. More than three times Sky caught you staring at Jayce's place, lost in thought, and even more times, she gave you a sad smile before Jayce excused himself saying he had to go to an unplanned party or a theatre invitation.

Just how unprofessional can you be? Or how foolish?

Especially because after some months of Jayce being the new Councilor rumors began to circulate. That Councilor Talis had as his soulmate no other than Councilor Medarda, the most powerful and wealthy person in Piltover, heir of Nexus’s ruling family.

When you heard it, you couldn’t even take it as a rumor.

Of course, they were soulmates. Only Mel Medarda could match in greatness with everything Jayce was achieving. She even was the first one of the Councilors to believe in Hextech. They deserved the other.

Today it was one of those days when Jayce was out in a private gala to promote new sponsors and business partners for Hextech. It was said he and Councilor Medarda were an unbeatable pairing full of charm and influence.

Then why weren’t you happy for him? Every day was a solid, secure routine that was becoming worn out and tiring with each passing morning. Leaning against your desk, papers neatly put at your sides, you closed your eyes when your vision felt dizzy.

There was a time when making Jayce happy brings you content, too, then why did that change…?

The words were stuck in your mind, too terrified to even think about it.

Because I'm in love with him. Your heart smashed against your ribcage when you heard the lab’s gate swing open. You recognized those long strides by now. Facing the desk, you pretended to look over the blueprints Sky put in there before leaving. It was already night, a couple of lamps enlighten the enormous place and the silence outside the courtyard let you know it was past the students’ curfew.

Her little, compact letters danced across your tired vision while Jayce opened the door.

“You’re still here.”

You bit the inner of your cheek, wanting to avoid responding with an I was waiting for you.

“Yes. I was finishing some backlog.” Your hands began to gather your things scattered around the table as a tactic to not let yourself distracted. “But I think it’s already very late, I will get going.”

When you turned to go, you froze at noticing he was still standing at the door. “Wait. Let me walk you home.”

“There’s no need. You should go, too. I noticed you had all day full of activities, you must be exhausted.” Tomorrow was about to be just as hectic.

“But uh, I was about to ask if you wanted to have dinner with me.” Jayce had his hands firmly tucked against his stomach. “It has been quite a long time.”

“It’s alright. I know you hardly have free time.” You managed a smile, the bag hugged against your chest so your hands didn’t shake too noticeably. Truth has been told, you didn't want to spend time with him alone anymore, but at the same time, it was just as distressing not being able to spend time together like you two used two, in the first months or so.

Even if you were just covering up Viktor’s place inside his life, you were aware of your feelings trying to surface, in the way your eyes began to burn, your jaw tight to not let words pill out without further consideration.

“Well, I have time now. If you wish to, of course.” He gestured towards the hallway. “I brought the food before the restaurant closed.”

You nodded, shrinking your body as much as you could to not brush him when crossing the door. It was a fruitless action, because your shoulders passed against his chest, and you had to press your lips together to block a gasping noise.

He jumped, but you pretended not to look. “In the dining room?”

“Yeah, I tried to settle everything already.”

The common area of the dining room had a table that could fit a maximum of six people, but it was mostly unused, with only Sky and you sitting at one of the ends to take lunch every day. There were cupboards stocked with tea, coffee, and cereals, alongside the ones that contained all the silverware and tableware. The room had windows without curtains, allowing the golden light of the streetlamps to dimly illuminated it. A chandelier hung above the table, only some gas bulbs open.

Jayce prepared two places, and the food was in the middle, still inside its box.

“Is it missing something?”

You were startled when he appeared behind you talking softly in the middle of the ominous silence. “Ah, n-no. It just that… why did you put two places if you didn’t know I was still here?”

“I just bet and hoped for the better.” He had a smile on his face when you half turned to see him at feeling his hands over your shoulders, guiding you inside the room. “Honestly, I… missed you.”

Your heart skipped several heartbeats, slamming against your ribcage. You hope it could be dark enough for him not to see the flustered expression dominating your face, with wide eyes and hot cheeks.

“I miss you, too," you said too low there was no possibility of him hearing it.

Or so you thought.

His hazel eyes brighten like beacons in the room filled with dancing shadows when you turned around, his arms still on your shoulders. “Do you?”

He was much closer than you anticipated, but instead of recoiling, your fingers wished to seize the fabric of his coat, to be even closer to him because deep down you knew this wouldn’t happen again.

This couldn’t happen again.

The thought brought an uncanny calm into your drumming heart. You could hear Jayce’s frantic breathing against your face. “Are you drunk?” you muttered, smelling a faint scent of alcohol, fighting to keep your eyelids open.

“No, from alcohol, no. But—” He hugged you. Every part of your body was engulfed in his essence, against his warmth. “I missed you so much. I want to be lost in you, so I don’t have to leave you again.”

Your breath escaped in shivering noises. You could hear his heart beating as fast as your own, the sound blocking every other logical thought inside your brain.

“I want to kiss you.”

You looked up at him. “And what’s stopping you?” Your hands interlocked in the back of his neck. The semi-penumbra gave you all the courage you needed alongside the timidity of the secrecy the shadows offered.

“The thought that I could never do this again.”

His words hit you like a cold bucket of water. You blinked, and, for the first time, recollected the compromising position you two were entangled in.

Councilor Talis has Councilor Medarda as his soulmate.

Tears were blurring your vision when you pushed yourself away. Averting your eyes off him, you still saw the light left them, replaced by a worried grimace.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this.” To you, to me. “I’m sorry. This—this is wrong.” You stumbled backward, holding the bag as if your life depended on it, or at least, to keep the tears aback. “I’m sorry.”

Once again you gave him your back, running away as fast as you could. But the pain in your chest wasn't the same as last time, it was worse. Like if a void were consummating every fiber inside your chest, but not even with nothingness the pain would go away.

It was loss consuming every happy memory and turning it against yourself, highlighting each moment you spent with Jayce, only as a reminder that he would never be destined for you, you could never have him fully if that meant leaving another innocent person without their soulmate.

You weren’t doing to them what nature itself made to you.

“Wait!" Jayce called out your name, echoing around the hallways without edges to hide against. “Please wait—I’m sorry. I didn’t want—”

“Just leave it, please.” Your voice was cracked and paused, blurting out after each silent sob shook up your entire being. “Please just let me go.”

His steps froze suddenly, an eerie stillness that made you turn partially to peek behind your shoulder. You couldn't picture his silhouette quite well in the middle of the darkness. But after some shaky breaths, you noticed he stopped walking.

You took a couple of steps towards the corner. “I’m sorry, I promise it won’t happen again,” his words made you press your bag tightly. You didn’t want him to be sorry. It was all your fault. “Please forgive me.”

“Goodnight, Jayce,” you whispered and slid into the corner of the next hallway. Against your muffled sobs, only silence embraced you once you pushed through the Academy entrance door.

He didn’t follow you.

*~*~*~*

It was going to be another sleepless night. But while you walked the empty streets with a revolted stomach, you were tempted many times to go back to Jayce as much as you wanted to run away from Piltover’s Academy. With each step you took, the Hexgates loomed over you with accusation, both shame and guilt outlined in the gigantic tower.

When you arrived at your room, the resolution built up in a stubborn opinion that wouldn’t let your mind even if you wanted to throw the idea away.

But it seemed that the only option left now that your feelings got exposed was to look after another job within the city, or even in another part, like Noxus or Damacia, maybe. Somewhere away from every flicking sight of Hextech and its inventor. Somewhere where magic was put aside and pretended like it didn’t really matter.

What were you going to tell him the next day? You could avoid him only so much. But hiding the truth wouldn’t make it disappear.

Running away wasn't going to help, either.

That thought made you stop turning in bed. Rubbing the tears away from your eyes, you wanted to scream. Fists grasped the asphyxiant warm bedsheet. This was so stupid it was frustrating. Maybe it was true that the problem didn’t have to be linked with you, but now it was you the one muddling up everything surrounding the soulmates’ topic.

You got up in the middle of the night to write. The sleep wasn't going to arrive to such an agitated mind nevertheless, it was better to use the time on something more productive than torturing yourself.

That day you left the inn before dawn, only encountered empty streets as you walked down to the Talis’ family house instead of to the Academy atop of the hill. You managed to gather the courage to ask for directions from some Enforcers who decided that you looked suspicious; so they escort you to a street between the richest apartments built in the tallest complexes near the Academy district, wherein the opposite side of the streets were narrower, the buildings less shiny and shorter.

It wasn’t a surprise that Jayce spent the nights in his family house since Viktor left Piltover. He needed some comfort and company when the active daytime died out into the silence and stillness of the night, the time he most remembered inside the lab tinkering away until both inventors dozed off hours later.

The memories of last night surrounded you as you knocked on the door a couple of times. Instead of trying to cover up mostly Viktor’s place as his friend, you only achieved to make the void bigger. Peeking up at the closed curtains, you couldn’t notice any movement.

Maybe he wasn’t here. Stepping out the stairs of the porch, with the Enforcers flanking your body, you were ready to leave when someone shouted out your name from the nearer window. No—it wasn’t someone, it was Jayce.

You bit your lip as you turned to see him. Even from far away, you could see the fatigue painted on his face.

“Hi, Jayce.”

“Wait there! I’ll go down in a moment. Please.” The curtains were closed again, but a gas lamp illuminated the room now.

With a polite nod in the direction of the open street, the Enforces leave in silence once Jayce recognized you. Alone, you bounced from one leg to the other in an attempt to dissipate your anxiety. But when the wooden door opened with a soft click you could feel your heart shooting up to your throat.

“What—what are you doing here?" He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, plus a sweater. The clothes were filled with wrinkles as if he fell asleep in them. Or rather, as if he spent the night awake just like you.

Guilt knotted your stomach.

“I wanted to talk with you.” You shrunk your body, at the entrance of the house, you felt as little as a mouse. “I couldn’t wait until my shift in the Academy because… because it’s important.”

He blinked, confused as he opened the door even more. “Please come in.”

“N-no. It’s fine. I will be quick.” You deeply breathed a couple of times, closed your eyes, and made your hands fists. "I…” your voice trailed off, the silence expanding more and more like an uncrossing ocean. And it seemed you weren’t brave enough to take the first step.

Sighing, you looked at the letter hidden inside the inner pocket of your blazer. At that moment, Jayce noticed that you weren't wearing the Academy uniform. You extended the piece of paper, and he took it with careful movements in order not to touch you.

Your heart throbbed painfully when he looked at you with wide eyes, fear, and sadness inside those hazel pools.

“What is this?”

You couldn’t return his gaze as you answered: “It’s my resignation letter.”

“But…”

“No, please hear me out.” You raised a trembling hand. “I think it’s the best for both of us.” You scoffed lightly, an ironic smile plastered on your face in order not to crack into tears again. "It isn't related to last night," you paused, biting your lips. "Well, it is, but I'm not doing it to make you feel guilty. I just… can’t stand this situation anymore. I want to be at peace.” You swallowed a knot that made your voice falter. “I just want to be happy.”

Jayce was out of focus, blurry tears shining in the corner of your eyes. You couldn’t read his expression, and you thought it was for the best. “I… though you were happy here.” There was defeat in his voice, hopelessness in how it lowered into an airy whisper. “I’m sorry for not noticing it before.”

“It isn’t you, Jayce,” you blurted out, voice waved between a shout and a cracked mutter. “It’s me! I’m the problem! I had all the better I could get but I still hoped for something more.” You hugged yourself to avoid shaking. You needed to finish this before people began to cover the streets. You didn’t want to give them a show. “I’m still fell for someone I would never have. And for that, it’s me who must apologize. I promised Viktor, promised myself to take care of you the best I could, but I wasn’t able to. I only hurt you.”

Drying off your tears with the inner hem of your sleeve, you saw Jayce’s jaw tightening and his hands grasping the door with such strength his knuckles were white. His eyes glowed with intensity because of trapped tears.

“And now, I also let you down. I disappointed everyone, once again.” You slowly walked backward until your heel stood out on the first porch step. “Because I’m greedy, and I wanted more I could ever have. And for that, Jayce, I will never fully make up amends to.” You bowed as if the line of your friendship was erased with it, with a polite but unfamiliar farewell gesture. "I'm sorry, Jayce. I truly am. You were only perfect, and I… I can’t ignore my feelings anymore.”

You turned down the stairs, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes inflicted by you. It shattered your heart even more than the idea of leaving him, of cutting the root of your feelings as bluntly as you could.

“Please don’t go.” You froze in the last couple of steps, the mumbled voice behind you sounded as stranded as your throat felt. “Please, I don’t want you to go.” There was a pause when he walked to the beginning of the porch, his presence overwhelming your body and clouding your mind.

If he were to talk again, you would succumb.

“I need you.” A sob jolted your body, and you tied to muffle the sound by putting one hand over your lips.

“You need me?” you said after you recovered your voice, even if it was just a trembling thread. The step was too narrow to turn around properly, but when you looked over your shoulder Jayce had gone down one step. “You don’t. You’ll find a better assistant than me. You’ll forget me.”

You’ll forget me. Your voice bled in pain at the thought. You would be just another flicking person passing through his life.

“I won’t.” He advanced towards you, stopping when he was at the foot of the stair, your faces at the same height. His hands raised just above your face, twitching as he yearned to touch you as much as you wished him to do it. "How are you asking me to forget the face of the person I’ve dreamt of since years ago?”

A trail of tears fell down your cheeks when you jerked your head closer. “W-what?”

“And even if I didn’t, I would never prefer another one. You are the one I’ve been dreaming of, soulmate or not.” He held your face with one of his hands, stroking your hair with the other. “I’m in love with you, not because I dreamt of you for almost a decade and a half, but because I know who you are outside some idealized fantasy, and you’re perfect to me.”

Jayce hugged you when sobs came one after the other, shaking your body like a leaf against the winter wind. “You are everything I’ve ever dreamt of. I love you.” His hands went up and down your back in soothing circles. He also swung you both from side to side.

“I’m sorry.” You had your eyes closed against his chest, shame covering every cell of your being. “I’m sorry I lied to you about my dreams.”

"Not be. I figured it out with Viktor’s insight months ago. But then you said you didn’t want to follow the soulmates’ path and I stopped pursuing you.” You could hear his rapid heartbeat against your ear, but the rhythm wasn’t for fear or anxiety this time. “I thought it would be enough with just being your friend.”

"But it wasn't," you ended up for him because you foolishly considered the same premise.

“I guess we’re both greedy.”

A tiny smile drew on your face, and you felt your heart flutter. “Please not stop being.” You snuggled against his chest. “I wished I could dream of you every night but now I think why I didn’t.��

It was your turn to hold his face between your hands, looking at his bright hazel eyes, a timid smile appearing as you leaned closer, noses brushing against each other.

“You’re better than any dream magic could conjure.” Your eyes closed when he advanced to kiss you. He felt like home, warm and secure and peaceful, and you wanted to get lost in him forever. So much time and so many torturous nights thinking this moment would never arrive. You could taste the salt of tears on his lips. But you ignored it, clinging to him, fingers interlaced in the back of his neck. “I love you.”

He smiled widely, the gesture as bright as the dawn itself. “I never thought I would be able to hear those words from you.” Squeezing you between his arms, he rested his head against the top of your head.

“And how about I amend it by saying how much I love you for the rest of my life?”

“That would do for now.” He kissed your forehead. “Please, never leave me.”

You wanted to melt all the sadness and the past away with each kiss. And you will try, every moment you could rob him from his role as a Councilor and as a prodigious inventor.

“I never will, if you promise you’ll hold me like this forever.”

Maybe one day you could, when one morning you would end up waking up between the arms of the person of your most longed dreams.

“I would dream of you at night and then I will wake up in your arms every morning.” He kissed you one last time before he guided you inside his house, the rumble of tableware alerting the beginning of a new, happier day. “I can’t think of anything better.”

Neither you could.

#jayce x you #jayce/reader #jayce talis #arcane jayce #jayce x reader #jayce/you #jayce talis x reader #jayce talis x you #arcane fanfic #yes I was temped into putting more drama here with the soulmates thingy #and viktor #but i didn't wanted to overloading with drama so :)#i'll see you in my dreams you'll see me in your arms #my thingies :)

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