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midas-or-khaos · 4 years

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Spirit, chapter 2

Ughhhhhhhh...waking up is shit. Ice sat in place for his heart, but waking up to these covers is amazing; so soft, like lamb wool or something and it’s all so WARM, like a 360 blanket draining away the frost in his marrow. Whatever was causing that gentle swaying was a life saver. Nice, gentle, swaying...

...Wait. Beds don’t rock, something’s happened. Ohhhhhhhh shit he fainted yesterday hadn’t he? Who (with the exception of trainee surgeons and Victorian women in novels) faints?

People who meet things that don’t exist apparently, ‘cause last time anyone checked giants don’t fucking exist! SOD IT! Ok, calm down, level head, this isn’t the time to go crazy ‘cause otherwise he’s fucked. Just breathe and think it through, what happened? He fainted for the first time in his life, and is now in the possession of whoever found him. Bright side, he was now warm and healing his busted feet, so if a chance to escape occurred, the odds were more stacked in his favour. His head rattled, was it all against him, or was his head pain something else? Concentrate. Other side, the giants could pull him out of whatever cranny they’d stuffed him into at any point and crush him. One option then, he had to try and escape unnoticed before anything happened.

Ok what was the environment Bill was working with? Through the fuzzy walls, the muttering from before was still going on (just quite a bit louder, though not painfully). The language used wasn’t anything recognisable, even the sounds seemed completely left field with the occasional use of whistling on certain words. No ability to communicate, great. Made sense now why whoever shouted back when he called out just said ‘argh’. Bill couldn’t distract them with bullshitting if he was spotted, so that meant extra stealth. He could do that, but how? They’re awake and aware so they’ll notice him moving around wherever he was. Especially if he was close to the body of whichever giant he was attached to. No knife though, so he couldn’t make a hole and slip out. He’d have to force his way out the top, but take it slow.

Lightly patting around in the dark, the smooth wool came to a dip above his head. There’s the bitch. Trying with a hand first, a few fingers managed to slip through the sphincter. Chattering he hadn’t noticed had been there started up at at a whole new level. Chilly, ok, but not too hard. Trying again, the whole hand pushed through, frost lapping at exposed finger tips. Freedom, but dangerous freedom. If there was no shelter once he got out, he’d be back to square 1, freezing his balls off and potentially dying from exposure. However, there was still no change from anyone on the outside, so coast was clear. Better to take a chance. Taking the second hand, it snugly fit in beside the other; now came the tricky part. The angle wasn’t the best, but with all the might he could muster from string bean muscles (and shot glass worth of excitement induced adrenaline), the clenched entrance came apart, and a blinding spotlight snuck through. It’s just there!

On shaking thighs trying to keep balance, the brunette stuck his upper half out, almost instantly a gush threw Bill around like a daisy hanging on for dear life to its stem; the bittersweet outside. As the whoosh past, the opportunity to look round dame at last. The boy wasn’t sure what was worse: seeing nothing, or seeing reality.

He was nowhere, adrift a sea of swaying spines that rolled and tumbled for an eternity all round, in a boat he had no control of, and had no idea of its intentions or direction. Even if he were to escape, there was nowhere he could hide. No shelter he could find. No experience on how to find food. He was as dead out there (he found with shuddering breaths, unsure if it was the chill, or his own rising panic) as he was in the pockets of his captors. There was no way to find home. Jesus...

...his captors had been awfully quiet...

“Doyo?”

Throwing his head back, the boy’s blue orbs grew wide and doe like as a new face held what little concentration he could get from himself in place. Younger, much younger, around mid 20’s? But he held similar features to the older man, so maybe a relative. Wait was he talking to Bill? A shiver, CRAP, he’d been spotted trying to escape!

“Wwwwwwwha?” Was all that could dribble out of the O of his lips.

Curious buttercup coloured irises were hidden by furrowed brows.

“Doyo...deskja jo?”

“I, errrr, em. I’m sorry, I literally don’t understand a word you’re saying, but pleeeeaaaasssse.” He reasons with bated breath, “Pleeeaaassseee don’t hurt me.”

No reply this time, just an abrupt stop, throwing him forward. Rising up rollercoastered his stomach down. A full-shadowed jaw was coming closer, he was about to get eaten, a gruesome death.

“OH FUCK PLEASE DON’T-”

Smush

“-ww...wha?”

The giant pressed Bill to his forehead, holding him there. What the hell was he doing? The heat radiating off was like lava, steaming off his fingertips whilst the wind at his back felt that much worse for it. His holder turned back and called out.

“Sit mayert. Demnot doing great.”

What was that?

The youthful face looked back, the cords of his throat tight and bulging, like he was holding his breath. Did he just switch to English? What he imagining that? HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE! HOW WAS ANY OF THIS POSSIBLE?!

He was losing his mind, and his body. Limp all round, this unusual unresponsiveness was feeling less like fright, and more like what little heat was being sapped out once more. Bill couldn’t go on, the icy ache was taking over all thought.

A hand like fallen tree descended in like it was nothing, plucking up his upper body and stuffing it back inside his baking prison (which was doing little to warm him truly) and sealed the top shut once more, footsteps becoming thunderous all round. They were moving fast. Fuck, he couldn’t stay awake, the heat was a lullaby, and no matter how much his mind wanted to fight, in the end the body submitted.

...This was getting ridiculous. Where was he this time? Well, at least the supposedly unmoving ice in his body was shifting its way out again, because now he could feel his fingers and toes. Opening his eyes, he was greeted to a pointed roof of what looked like thatch, only it was some ridiculous amount of meters up above to accommodate the gigantic residents. The whole room in fact smelt earthy, walls made of waxed wood and thatching, with something that looked like clay or mud plugging in holes and leaving the air tasting of dust, however non of the elements had any chance of getting in so win some lose some.

Sitting up, a groan threw him back down, a migraine putting him back in his place. Oh the joys of feeling like life’s punching-bag. Something foul smelling and wet suddenly smacked his feet, before trailing over and over his legs. Ew. Shifting to try and pull away, the thing only came back with more vigour, going for the whole body, mo matter how much he tried to pull away. Whatever it was eventually pulled back, and heavy pants came from above. Like that...of a dog. Uncurling, the wide smile, stout snout and wide face was unmistakable. It looked like some kind of Tibetan mastiff, if only some 100x bigger. It seemed friendly though, and that smile was too wonderful to hold a grudge against, it was doing its best to take care of him. Despite being slobbered on thanks to its exuberance, Bill couldn’t help but coo and call it back, wanting to stroke that lion mane ginger hair. Probably felt like silk. The dog was all too happy to oblige, short nose leading in to nuzzle his middle fondly. This was a better way to wake up, lying on a bear-like dog, being snuggled.

“Thanks mate. You’re lovely, aren’t you? I wish I had a dog like you back at Uni, so I would always have someone nice to come home to.” He slurred, draping over the good boy’s snout. A chuff was replied.

How had he become acclimatised to this level of insane so quickly, that he didn’t question or care about lying down with an enormous dog? Had he really given up trying to comprehend, or had his subconscious decided to flood his systems with enough serotonin to not panic himself into oblivion? Because consciously, he still saw this day as maddening. Giants were real, he was tiny, and he was making a bed on a dog. To think, he’d thought leaving his mother to stay on the other side of the country was a big deal. That managed to put a bit of a sour note in his mouth, eyes dulled as he concentrated on his mother. What he wouldn’t do to have her back. Bill’s poor mother must be losing her mind with fright, and in all honesty, he wanted her back more than anything in this world that made less and less sense. Just the sight of familiarity, the smell of floral unconditional love, and the touch of a warm hand.

“Hey.”

...reality made no sense. It sounded like buttercup eyes from before.

“Rooster, you’re not still Ill, are you?”

Rooster?

Not bothering to turn and get up to only let pain drag him down (plus Doge, as the boy decided to coin his new friend, was comfortable), Bill chose to instead groan to the air.

“My name’s not rooster.”

There was a small shift from behind. A new set of breaths, much lighter than the dog’s filtered lightly across his back. He was so close, all that nonchalantly was being replaced by adrenaline. He could grab and control all he wanted. Stay calm.

“Did...you just reply?” Came a stuttered response.

“Surprise. I don’t know either, but I can understand you now.” How very monotone of him, good.

There was a pause on Buttercup’s behalf, so he chose to carry on.

“I think it started when I was pressed to your forehead-” snapped out.

“-You remembered that? I’m surprised, I thought the hypothermia had driven you out of your mind.”

“Hypothermia?” Was that what was messing his head round? To think he’d been that vulnerable.

“Yes. Didn’t you notice?”

“I’ve never had it, so I wouldn’t know.”

A light touch, maybe a finger, grazed his spine. Trying not to shiver is harder than it looks.

“You feel warmer to the touch Rooster, so it’s probably gone.”

There it was again. “Why do you keep calling me rooster?” That may have been a bit too forward. Luckily, Butter seemed to take it in stride.

“Sorry, your determination to live when you were faced with arid land was like that of a rooster. Stubborn. Well, that and the hair. You were tenacious enough to outwit death.”

Don’t really think it was tenacity mate. Looks more like it was luck. It also looked like his luck was out.

Multiple rough finger tips touched both sides. That was the last straw. Unable to stay calm and pretend not to be terrified, Bill let out a shout of “no!”, but the hand had already scooped under his squirming body and lifted him again.

“Shhhh shhhhh shhhh. It’s ok, you’re ok Rooster. Where’s all that bravery from before?”

It was never there, it was all a facade crumbling like dust in the wind. He wasn’t brave, never was, always too afraid to speak up. All of his so called bravery was simple survival tactics that had failed him miserably. He was stupid, and impulsive, getting so caught up in one direction of thought that he never saw the consequences. It was all go, and less stop and think. And now, that immediacy to react had made him scared of the same person that had saved him from hypothermia.

“I’m sorry.” Whispered out.

The hand lifted the boy to a scruffy cheek, sweet almond-shaped eyes looking over adoringly as a curtain of thick, onyx locks cascaded around and just let him be in that moment.

“Don’t be. You’re scared, that’s alright. I would be too if I were picked up by strangers. Let’s get you some food and you can tell me your name. Mine’s Ekashiba.”

“I’m Bill.” He could already tell he was going to forget that name quickly.

At last the brunette was pulled away, feeling better. It wasn’t often that Bill enjoyed close contact, hating to be touched by others (even his own family to a point, though it wasn’t personal), but for a reason even he couldn’t comprehend, Ekashiba’s touch wasn’t as pervasive and unwanted as usually all things were. It was...nice.

As the boy was held at waist level to the man, he couldn’t help but notice in fact, all of Ekashi spoke of warmth, literally. He was wearing some sort of monochrome robe, like a Kimono but made of thick wool, with a similar sort of linen version peaking underneath. On top of that, a deep crimson sleeveless robe and finishing it all off, ring earrings and a bead necklace. But no pockets, Bill noticed with a confused head swivel. How was he carried here then?

Trotting through connecting dome-shaped rooms, the heat started to permeate the air and a sweat was building. There in the centre of the room, a wide birthed fire pit made of sand, surrounded by what looked like the whole family sitting on the raised wooden, tatami matted floor, cooking. They were all chatting amongst themselves, not noticing or uncaring that Buttercup had entered. It was a much larger family than his own, with both grandparents all the way to a kid around 12. 9 of them in total, including the familiar bearded man. Here in the light, the resemblance was striking. Same squat button nose, same sunny eyes, hell even the same thin, bowed lips. Just the addition of crows feet and full beard.

“Dad, Rooster’s woken up.”

The man in question looked up.

“Situ mitsku do toyuma?”

What? Why couldn’t he understand them! For god sake, why’d he have to go through this song and dance twice?

“What did he say?”

Buttercup shot a look down, wide eyed.

“You can’t understand him, but you can understand me?”

“I don’t know! This is all new to me too!”

“Nea...wataki mo?”

“Yes Dad, everything’s fine. It’s just for some reason the little one can only understand me-”

“-Oi, dickhead! I’m 18, not 10-“

“-And we don’t know why.”

The Dad seemed to ponder this for a while, catching the attention of the other members that weren’t cooking (grandparents, wife and the other couple). It got quite heated at one point, and Bill was only managing to be ok with all the frighteningly boisterous shouting because he was still steaming about the earlier comment. Ekashi looked like a cat trying to focus in on one target among a flock of birds, barely keeping on track, and throwing the odd comment here and there.

“Are you sure?” “Doesn’t seem likely.” “I think we need to-“

This was like GCSE French all over again. Tidbits of understanding and the rest a sea of bollocks. Was this good news or bad?

“Buttercup, please, I just want to know what’s going on.”

“Buttrvrup?”

Crap. The brunette forgot only he called him that behind his back.

“That’s not the important bit, what’s going on?”

“They’re trying to decide what you are and if you’re safe to have round.”

“...but I’m like the size of a mouse, why would I be unsafe to have around?”

“They fear you may be a Monster.”

Of course. Why didn’t Bill see that coming.

“...fair enough.” What kind of an answer was that?! He should’ve made more of an effort to try and change the family’s mind through Ekashi.

The conversation just kept going on and on in circles, but one member of the debate was starting to take notice in the boy’s mind. The grandmother, hunched, skin like cracked earth and silvery. She hadn’t said a thing the whole time, just stared at him and watched his hawkish lay with beady eyes. Like she was debating his worth just through observation. Was he doing alright? Was he making a good impression.

“Boy, lift up your shirt.”

Holy shit. “Y-you speak English?” Why didn’t she say anything this entire time!

“Please, do as I ask.”

Everything fell silent, save for the bubbling wok of oil, and everyone came round to see what she was talking about. So silent, the anticipation was cutting.

“...ok.” Taking both hands to the edge of the roughed up t-shirt, the boy himself was reluctant to see what was there, but it had to be done. Putting up resistance as much as he could, shaking hands lifted the edge with nervous twitched rising. There was a black strip. No way. Lifting more the strip became strips, till he got the lip of the edge into his mouth. It was a symbol, like a kanji. A perhaps dreadful realisation, she’d seen this before.

“As I thought. The sign of the heavens. Oki, you can’t harm the child.”

“Kamita odo?”

She didn’t break eye contact once.

“...because that, is your son’s new spirit.”

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altastudies · 3 years

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update after hiatus

hi everyone!! long time no post, oops! here’s an update of what’s been going on in my life lately:

started my second semester of grade 11

began seeing a psychologist for my adhd

started to seriously plan my course of education for next year and post secondary

finally decided on a career path, completely different from my original plans (somewhat)

started saving for uni life and whatnot

started learning french!!

scheduled an interview with the school i’m trying to transfer to next year

in the process of trying to get put on medication for adhd

my grades are doing MUCH better than last semester, mostly due to the fact that i’m taking classes i actually enjoy now, excluding chem (bio, social). although this is all great, i’ve been struggling with my mental health a lot recently, which is partially why i’ve been on such a long break. chem is still pretty difficult for me and i often find myself asking the universe, “why is it so hard for me? why does it feel like i have to work 100x harder than everyone else, just to get an average, or passing grade? what’s wrong with me?

these questions remain unanswered for the time being.

i’ve been trying to tell myself to just push through, to work hard enough to get where i want to be, and to form good study habits, but it’s often difficult to truly believe that i can get to where i want to be. sometimes i feel like giving up. but i’m still here, trying my best to keep my grades up. if anyone else is going through these sorts of feelings, i want you know this: you are not alone, and you are loved, and cared for.

#studyblr #high school #canada #motivation #update

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rextreks · 4 years

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get to know the simmer 🌼

i was tagged by @zolliesims! much appreciated--i love tag games ♡ i’m tagging @simcitybeach, @ghostwritersims, @lateadventure, @cowplantsandi, and @whyhellosims! if you’ve already been tagged, i apologize ; u;

your name: my irl nickname is tam!

languages you speak: english (native) but i studied japanese for like two years in uni? i don’t remember much of it unfortunately :(

are you a mermaid: in another life

your play style: legacies and unnecessary drama! i always tell myself i’ll go easy on storytelling, but then i start plot lines that can’t be written out in a few lines

your simself picture: i’m not nearly as cute irl lmao (or maybe i am? it is a mystery)

stories, gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits, or cc: stories and gameplay for sure! i used to be a lot more serious about my storytelling (i even had multiple blogspots--remember those days?) but it’s harder to do now that i’ve got adult problems to handle

your favorite age state: toddlers and young adults. toddlers for screenshot spam and young adults for actual content lol

your favorite season: i looove fall! the first kisses of spring are a close second, but then it starts getting humid and sticky all over again. summer is my favorite in the sims though

your favorite holiday: halloween irl 🎃 winterfest in the sims!

how was your day: coming back from grocery shopping to all of you lovely folks definitely made it 100x better!

your favorite career: for some reason, i always end up getting most attached to my culinary sims. i can’t explain it, but that’s been the case for roughly the last decade

your favorite aspiration: i’m not sure i have one? they all have their pros and cons. thematically though, i like the idea of beach life

your favorite ep, gp, and sp: ooo, this one is fun. i think it’s a tie between seasons and island living for the ep, spa day for the gp, and maybe laundry day for the sp?

how old is your simblr: this one is a little baby--only a week old! i think?

have you woohooed: this is a christian server

your favorite skill: maybe fitness? i like watching my sims get stronger/fitter in ways i’m too unmotivated to achieve myself ;;

the size of your mods folder: 2.21 gb and growing 🌱

your three favorite mods: i really like quality of life mods over game changing mods--stand still in cas, more columns in cas, and live/tab mode camera mods are life savers

your interests (other than sims): creative writing and drawing are two big ones. definitely stronger in creative writing than drawing, but i have a half-hearted goal of being a freelance artist by 30, so that’s hopefully gonna change with time!

your favorite sim (picture if possible): i don’t really have one on this blog yet! between mari and poppy though, i probably like poppy more. she’s the kind of gal i wish i was lol

which sims games have you played (including mobile games): it would take too long to list them all tbh. i’ll just say that my favorite outside of the main series is urbz for the gameboy!

propose a crazy scheme: not letting my perfectionism ruin my blog over small details no one else would notice 🙃

best part of simblr: you get out of it what you put in. if you’re friendly and try your best to support others, they’ll do the same for you!

worst part of simblr: sometimes it seems like folks take it a little too seriously and get too wrapped up in drama? at the end of the day, none of what we’re doing matters outside of our little bubble

what other games you play: i cycle through the sims, minecraft, and ffxiv the most, but i loooove playing rocket league and gta online with my pals

other websites or accounts (origin, twitter, etc.): my origin id is rextreks! i only have poppy uploaded right now, but i’ll add sims/houses if they’re requested

are you single: i might as well be married at this point tbh

#nonsims #tagged

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hollystudying · 5 years

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WHYYY is studying at home like 100x harder?? i swear i’m so productive when i’m in the uni library or study spaces :(((

#way too many distractions #like my phone #and how untidy my room is cos im TRYNA STUDY

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aidoesntexist · 3 years

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Hellooooo

So I had my first kiss, and idk how to feel about it, it was just kinda a quick kiss, in my room before we had to leave/drive them home. And they mentioned how I don’t like “public affection” which I haven’t actually have a conversation about it with them yet, so at least I think they’ve picked up on it? Idek, they liked my Christmas gift which is good and I really liked theirs! So idk, they’ve talked about the future and how they can cook, “which is a good thing one of can”, and how “next Halloween we should be Adora and Catra”, which fine I suppose but to me it’s a bit daunting. Since I don’t even know if we’ll still together or if once we get if I’ll be open to trying long distance. Since we’re from NS, but I’m moving to AB and them to BC. Which those two are much closer too each other then one of us staying here but still. It scares me, and I feel horrible thinking these things but since continuing our relentship and not bringing these points up when they talk about the future.

Also another thing, my sister and my friend have become a lot more open talking about s*x and those topics. Which I’m not quite comfortable talking about to other people, and they’ve asked me some kinda uncomfortable questions before which sucks. And pretty much told me “oh your probably asexual” and tried explaining to me how they think about certain things. Which I think their sorta right but not quite? Like I’m sure I’m on that septum sorta like in a demi-sexual since, that I don’t necessarily think that stuff right away or are comfortable with it. The thing is ‘I’ doesn’t know this since I haven’t really brought it up to them yet or mentioned it. Which I know I should but I don’t want them to mad even though I know they won’t be. But it’s not like I’m entirely opposed to such things either? But when I have a relentship with someone’s it’s harder? Idk, it’s complicated.

Okay *TW* eating is hard and I’m trying to lose weight but I’ve backslide so much over the holidays and I feel terrible for it. And hate myself. I feel so fucking fat all the time and just want to be a stick. My sister and my friend were talking about weight and it made me feel worse, *TW mentioning numbers*, like my sister said she’s 117, but before she was complaining about gaining weight over quarantine, and my friend said they were down to 125, and I know they weighted a lot more before and that they’re still quite a bit shorter then me. But just knowing I weigh more (I’m ~130 atm), and that before COVID and everything I had actually weighed less then both of them (115) it just drives me crazier and makes me angry at myself. Because I had gained back everything I had lost and more to be my heaviest, and now it’s so much harder to lose it. I just want to curl up and ceased to exist and I want to be smaller and lighter then both of them.

*TW* this were the other tricky part of them making “plans” and talking about the future come into play, because I still want to die. I don’t know if I’ll make it their or not. As much as I want to graduate and go to uni, I also equal parts want my world to end. But I also know it would impact people around which is also why I want to distance myself but I also can’t at the same time and it’s also so twisted in my head. I can’t even talk about this with anyone. OH! And my sister and friend I think figured out my appointments are therapy and made me want to off myself in the moment they mentioned it, I didn’t say anything to confirm or deny but they probably since think and makes me feel 100x worse about going. Because of how they talk about therapy and stuff. It makes me feel like a disappointment and that I’m wasting my therapists time because why am I going? I’m not that bad or deserving of any help especially since I’m not even honest with her, mostly because if I tell certain things she has to break confidentiality which would kill me inside and make it all worse. Idk what to do anymore.

This is really long for something no one is going to read, I’m sorry.

~AI

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