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peakyblinders1919 · 4 years

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Piano Man

Music. His mother loved music.

That’s why he didn’t allow it down at the pubs anymore. Well, that and the war.

His life had been a somewhat quiet place ever since he had left a boy and returned to the streets of his hometown a new man.

He thought he was dreaming, a place somewhere between the smog-filled Small Heath and an oasis getaway, the sound of a calming waterfall accompanied by the most beautiful piano melody. It was nothing too complicated, (and he should know since him and his siblings were subjected to countless boring piano lessons when they were young, at their mothers request) but it made him listen closer. It made him stop, close his eyes, sway to the music, humming along.

It was a familiar melody, though he couldn’t put his finger on it. And that’s why he thought it was a dream, and that it was just happening more frequently; a good memory, a happy memory he had buried deep in the back of his memory that was resurfacing slowly.

Until he was walking home one day and it stopped him in his tracks, the melancholy notes casting Water Lane in a haze, an indescribable warmth. That’s when he knew it wasn’t a dream, though later that night it filled his head again all until the early morning daybreak.

It was weeks until the song had lodged itself permanently in his head to the point that he was humming it while sat at his desk.

“Tommy Shelby, is that you singing.”

“No,” he cleared his throat when he was caught in the act. “It’s humming...”

“Chopin, innit?” John, surpassingly, was the brightest of their mum’s pupils. “That one mum liked so much.”

“Chopin...” he stewed on the word. “Yeah, I guess. I’ve been dreaming about it lately.”

“I’ve been hearing it to. No really, I have,” he fought, “someone in the house down from us has been playing it at all hours of the night. It’s starting to get on my nerves really...”

—

It was a bad night. A bad dream. It started with the familiar song playing far off in the distance, Tommy approaching a lady on a blanket laid out with a picnic all positioned on the top of a hill. The music was a happy background noise, and the woman turned with a smile when he joined her. It was his mom, with a young pretty face, a version of her from some time between when her happiness was legitimate, radiant like a sunflower, yet before her life mirrored her mind, foggy and gray.

She didn’t say anything, just patted the spot next to her for him to sit. She hummed the tune while she buttered the bread.

And then came the bullets like rain, the scene flooded with red, her screams replacing Chopin, her slowly losing her mind, running, racing down the hill towards the lake calling her name, splashing through, trying to pull him down with her. Crying, screaming, agony, a mind that was completely lost, the river calling her, calling her away from him, calling her name to come under. Running, splashing, walking, wading. Drowning.

He shut out of bed, clutched at his chest as he gasped for air. His head hurt, he wanted to cry.

He smoked instead, which in turn only made him more emotional, reliving it over again and again, heightening his senses so every shadow was her corpse. The song a breeze on his neck, making him scratch and scratch, screaming for it to stop.

He *pounded* on the door with a chest handed fist determined to make it stop. Make the music and the dreams and the memory just stop for a second so he could have some peace and quiet. He continued pounding on the door even when it wasn’t there and he was just pounding on air, pinching the bridge of his nose when the music stop and someone answered.

“Can you please stop playing that bloody fucking piano at all hours of the night? Some people are *trying* to get some fucking sleep, they don’t need the sound of Chopin keeping them up.”

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry sir. I didn’t mean to, it's just... well I can’t sleep either, that's why I play. I’m surprised someone around here knows Chopin though. Sorry for keeping you up, I hope I haven’t been too much of a disturbance.”

Now that he was there and he looked into the woman’s eyes, he was soon taken aback by her beauty and her grace he’d forgotten altogether what he was there for. He was speechless for a moment that lingered on, causing her pink lips to purse into a smile.

“No, no uh... not a disturbance at all. A nice change really.”

“I’m sorry my playing kept you up, at least allow me to apologize with a cup of tea. I may know just the recipe that’ll knock you out,” she chuckled.

He suddenly had forgotten about the nightmare, his mother and the shock and everything else that plagued his mind and kept him up. Now that there was no soothing melody, he felt like he needed it. The lure of her voice, almost as sweet on his ears as the music she produced, pulled him in even further. He was in no state for any of this really, but he was at least sober enough to realize the quickened beating of his heart wasn’t due to the drugs pumping through his veins, but the fact that he was so close to her as he followed her in.

“Maybe... maybe you wouldn’t mind playing one more time again?”

—

When there were whispers about Thomas Shelby, they used to be about his latest venture; who he killed, who he was dealing with, the whispers hushed because people were scared. Now when his name left people’s lips it was to figure out if he had fallen in love with her or her music.

Ever since that night when he met the beauty behind the sound, he had fallen head over heels for her. Now they both got some sleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms and warmth; she had no need to stay up and keep her hands busy during the bewitching hour, and he had no music to haunt his dreams. They were like a harmony, each complimenting the other beautifully.

And when he did wake from a nightmare, a ghost of his mother, a reminder of the blood shed in France, she was there to play for him.

It was a regular night for them, Tommy waking up with a bolt in a cold sweat, shaking her from her light sleep. She’d trail kisses along his shoulders first, rubbing his back, shushing or humming the song until he had calmed enough to speak. And he only said one phrase, “Will you play for me?” with sad tired eyes. And with sad, tired eyes for him she would take his hands, pull him into the lounge and play for him.

It was one of these nights, they were just like all the others, around 2 am when she sat there like an angel, her fingers beginning to play the familiar song perfectly. Something pulled him closer to her until they were shoulder to shoulder on the piano bench. He watched her hands moving across the keys before he put his hand over hers. No words, just their hands touching, running across the same keys, his fingers picking up the harmony of her notes, completing the song. It was years after that he finally found out all those piano lessons hadn’t gone to waste. His hands knew all the keys to play, where to go next, to the point that he just stopped to watch her. How her head bent over the keys in concentration, how her lips pursed into a smile, how a stray piece of hair fell from her bun, how her cheek were rosy, how beautiful she looked in this light, how she got so swept up by the power of the music that her whole body swayed to the beat.

He waited until the song was over, putting the stray piece of hair back in place. “I love you.”

“I love you too Tommy.”

He smiled as he leaned over to kiss her, the passion rising from his toes to his stomach as the kiss grew like a crescendo. Their lips danced together, tongues tangled, her hands on him pulling him closer before her magical pull had pulled him in to the point where all his weight shifted forward, his hands thrust forward onto the keys in an attempt to keep himself upright. He swore it was the only time a sound so horrendous had come from her piano. But they made the best music together.

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tokoyamisstuff · 4 years

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Protector - Bucky x Reader

Synopsis: Your boyfriend Bucky Barnes has his own ways of supporting your musical career.

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Bullying

Words: ~4000

A/N: I think this is a good opportunity to tell you that you can always reach out to me, no matter what. If you guys are experiencing any kind of emotional distress, don't hesitate to text me 24/7!

You are not alone. You are loved. You deserve better!💌

Some mornings, Bucky would feel like a bag of bricks when waking up. Most of the time he’d just laugh it off as being “a hundred year old man, after all.”

And today was no different.

He groaned when he felt the phantom pain kicking in, involuntarily waking him up before the sun even rose. The metal plates in his arm turned as he cracked his bones, trying to get his body to listen to him.

After getting the sand out of his eyes, your boyfriend finally turned around - just to be disappointed when he found your bedplace to be empty again.

He knew exactly where you are.

Well, morning cuddles with you were almost impossible due to the strict training schedule you put upon yourself.

It was kinda sad, since you were the only reason Bucky was able to sleep soundly again, without being interrupted by hellish nightmares. Yet you were already up way earlier than a goddamn elite soldier.

To not disturb you, Bucky would stagger to the bathroom first, taking a shower as he heared the “Moonlight Sonata” echoing through the whole house.

When you were playing, your boyfriend couldn’t help but to at least hum the melody, no matter when. His silent voice turned into a loud whistling as he enjoyed a hot shower, before striding to the kitchen.

His enhanced hearing allowed him to experience music in a whole new way - and goddamn it, the way you produced pure art on this piano was unlike anything he had ever heared.

The pace, the rythm, the fact that you never missed one note let alone emphasize the right tones...

Everything was simply perfection.

Especially the way you gave old classics your own twist. It was admirable to have such talent, he thought.

He used his super-soldier powers to sneak up to you playing way too often, as he did today, leaning to the doorframe which led to the living toom, munching on a cereal bar to reveal himself.

For some reason, you didn’t like him or anyone else to listen to you play, humbly stating that you were still way too bad to have any audience.

And that was the one thing bothering him as he scanned your face: You didn’t seem like you were enjoying it at all.

Quite the opposite, actually. The only thing he could see was a tired, strained musician.

Well, artists were always stressed. They were special persons, after all. It was hard to understand them fully, as they often didn’t even understand themselves.

“Music is the art of self-discovery” you once told him, almost tempting him to learn an instrument himself.

And your music was the most soothing thing that ever graced his ear, so shouldn’t you be enjoying it, too?

Today, you didn’t even seem to notice him, that was just how invested you were in your work.

Well, it wasn’t simply a hobby. It was your dream. And he knew just how hard you were working on it ever since you were a child.

Bucky was eager to support you in any way possible, giving you what you needed and trying not to be all too clingy. You needed space sometimes, no matter how much it pained him.

“Good morning, babycakes” he hummed loving, interrupting your trance. James would put his arms around you from behind, quickly pressing a kiss in your hair. “Up so early again, I see?”

Eventually your stony expression would falter and you gave in to his touch, leaning against his bulky chest as you blinked rapidly between still narrowed eyes. A weak “Hi...” was all that escaped your lips.

“You look tired. How long have you been up?”

Things would only get worse the closer that certain date would come “I’m still not good enough…” you stammered, elbows leaning on the tiles and releasing a horrifying sound. “Far away from acceptable, even…”

You already snapped out of it, forgetting your exhaustion and getting ready to start again - but Bucky would softly grab your wrist, putting his other hand under your chin so you would finally look at him.

“Doll, you know that’s not right. You’re amazing! Everyone says so!”

“What would they know.” You instantly regretting that sentence. He meant your friends, after all. “I-I mean, it’s nice and all, but they aren’t professionals. And Thomas says-”

“Shh.” Bucky began to rub small circles on your back until he got to your stiffened neck, carefully massaging it. Your voice sounded so full of self-hatred that even Bucky had to swallow.

As much as he knew you valued his opinion, Thomas was top notch. Anyone elses opinion meant very little in comparison with the best teacher in New York.

He had trained many of the biggest pianists in the world, and you dreamed so very dearly to become one of them.

Bucky was good at reading people, and he had that feeling from the very beginning: That your teacher was an asshole.

But every time he tried to find out more about your lessons with him you’d completely block his attempts or defend that guy.

“He’s my only chance to become better than myself. And he even planned that gig for me. I owe him!”

James bit his cheek until he felt blood coming- Fuck it. He knew just how important that concert was for you and your career. And he’d be damned if he ruined it by being overly protective.

But it was putting a stroll on his heart, too, seeing you that way even though he thought you to deserve nothing but happiness.

Since you helped him to accept his past and love himself again - through loving and helping others. Through loving you, to be precize.

And now he was here, helpless at how to assist you in that time of need.

Right now, he didn’t feel like a hero in the slightest.

So he simply shuffled down on the seat next to you, clumsily starting to play a part of “For Elise”.

That whole time through, you wouldn’t move a muscle as you stared at his big hands with an open mouth. It wasn’t really what one would call well played, but it was a surprise nonetheless.

“Where-”

“My parents” he already started explaining, “They were never quite fond of me becoming a soldier. Considering everything that happened, I should’ve probably listened to them.”

He chuckled, shyly and dumbly as he’d always do when he made a joke that dark, and your glare changed into a compassionate one. Buck didn’t like you pitying him, but he knew it was to no avail.

You’d always care about him. And that wasn’t so bad, after all. He was a lucky man.

“Well, they wanted me to learn something else than the way of hurting and killing people. Bringing them joy, you know? Be sophisticated.” He shrugged, then kept on as his fingers ghosted over the tiles, then wandering to your knee to squeeze the flesh of your leg.

“It was great to impress woman, hehe.” You weren’t really fond when he was talking about his time as a womanizer, yet you loved seeing him reminisce in easier, happier times. “I may be a lunk, but I have one or two asses up my sleeve. I never liked playing at all, but now...It’s the only way to feel connected to my parents. My heritage.”

“Darling...” you sniffled, weakly snuggling up to his chest just to feel his fastened heartbeat. When he put his strong arms around you, it was like all the problems of the world couldn’t affect you any more.

You felt safe.

“Never doubt yourself again” he demanded, silently whispering into your ear after an eternity of enjoying this closeness in complete silence.

With him, you were finally able to relax. And it didn’t take you long until your body gave in, falling asleep as he gently stroked your head and covered you in the most tender kisses.

“I love you, Y/N. And I’m very proud of you.”

...

It was already noon when you awokened, much to your surprise in your bed. Seems like Bucky carried you there.

For a moment, a wide smile stretched over your face as you took in his scent that was present in the sheets.

“Fuck!”

Bucky knew what was going on before you even got downstairs.

“I’m way too late!” you yelled at him, running around in only your underwear, carrying a huge pile of clothes and make-up to the bathroom to get ready. “Why didn’t you wake me up?!”

Your boyfriend did nothing but chuckle at how easily irritated you got when you were stressed, then facing the stove again when you locked the bathroom door behind you.

Loud music jammed out of the radio, and before the song was even finished, you took a seat, being all ready. “You cooked?”

“Everything for you, doll.” When he turned around, Buck was wearing a huge ‘Kiss the Cook’-apron, making you almost choke at your drink out of laughter. “Well, if that isn’t a cliché.”

“A man from the 40′s doing the housework is a cliché?” he mocked as he placed your favourite food on the table, gifting you the most heartwarming smile. “Well, I want to help you wherever I can.”

“You’re simply the best!” you told him between munching quickly, “Sorry that we don’t get to spend much time together, lately.”

“I enjoy every minute, doll. Even if I just listen to you play. As long as I fall asleep next to you, I couldn’t be happier.”

God, he was so sweet all the time. It only caused your guilt to skyrocket.

As soon as the concert was over, you would gift him that holiday on Tenerife as you had planned to! Just the two of you, all alone on a romantic trip, sipping drinks at the beach...

You really needed a time off.

“Lost in thoughts again?”

“No. But I need to go now.” You were already standing up after having devoured that lovely prepared meal in record time, putting on your boots and jacket.

“Doll, you know I can simply drop you out the-”

“Never!” you blurted out, then quite embarassed getting a hold of yourself. “I-I mean it’s fine. You have other things to do, right?”

Of course he had not. It wasn’t even a fifteen minute ride from here. But he didn’t want to pry, so he just sat there with crossed arms, sighing deeply.

“Fine. But I get my goodbye-kiss, right?”

Racing towards him to peck his whole face, hoping it would suffer for the time you were away, you murmured “Love you” and rushed out of the door as quickly as always, leaving the love of your life alone with all of his worries.

Little did you know that the master spy had a plan of his own:

Today, he was gonna find out.

...

“Can’t you do anything fucking right?!”

You flinched at Thomas words, but kept on playing the best you knew how. He dramatically threw his hands into the air, cussing under his breath.

It hadn’t even be three minutes until his first outburst, even though you only played “Flight of the Bumblebee” as a warmup - and in a pace that would even make the composer envious.

But after so many months training, you were already quite used to his ragefits.

“You play this as slow as a snail, for fucks sake!” he added, only making you more nervous with every step he came closer.

“Did I allow you to stop?!” your teacher yelled, slamming his balled fists onto the wooden piano. “Can’t you even do the basics? God…”

You quickly rubbed your face and started all over, wondering why he took you as apprentice in the first place.

If you were that bad, why would he make you play in front of a great audience this Saturday?

But well, you were just too kind-hearted and naive. You thought this was just his method of motivating his pupils to become even better.

“You look terrible. Aren’t you embarassed?! How can I present you to my colleagues if you look like a homeless? Shit!”

He was kinda right. You took the firs things in your wardrobe so you wouldn’t get too late. Thomas hated it, and you were afraid of the punishment And then the messy hair and dark rings under your eyes...

“I’m just a litte sleep deprived” you explained calmly. “I trained the whole night, so-”

Thomas bursting laughter interrupted you, and he’d even wipe a tear out of his face while doing so. “You trained yourself?”

His voice became more grim now, and he got so close that the stinging smell of his aftershave tainted your nose. “Do you think you can train on your own? You’re nothing without me! Get that in your head!”

Your eyes widened with fear when he opened your bag, puling out some scribbles. “And this! Don’t think I didn’t notice you were composing on your own.”

“Plea-” The words dissolved into nothing but a whimper when you saw Thomas ripping apart all of your attempts, everything you’ve worked so proudly on. And he didn’t even read or listened to them...

“You think you’re some hot shit, huh? I told you to stick to the fucking notes! No one wants to hear your version to old classics of the greatest!”

Pressing himself against the piano, he said “I heard you even have a boyfriend. What poor being has to spend his time with you? Or is he a freak, like you?”

Right now, the image of Bucky in your head was the only thing that kept you sane.

“Yeah” you sniffled, even managing to crack a smile when you remembered how uplifting and supportive he was all this time. “He is a freak. The best kind of.”

A loud noise snapped you out of it.

It took you a while to realize what had just happened, but the burning sensation on your cheek, heat rising in the skin told the whole story.

Thomas had slapped you.

“Get that stupid grin out of your face!” He wouldn’t even apologize. It never stopped, wouldn’t it? And you were too weak to fight back, the only thing you were able to do was holding back the tears who were already collecting in the rim of your eyes. “We’re not in kindergarden! Get yourself together!”

"Stop. It. Right. Now…” a menacing but familiar voice called out from the back.

Oh no.

It was Bucky.

“Babe!” you blurted out, running right to him as he was nearing your teacher with firm steps. “H-how much di-did you hear?”

“Enough” he muttered under heavy breaths, shooting an icy glare to Thomas who was still ranting on about how your boyfriend got in here and starting to insult both of you.

His mechanical arm was well hidden under his fabric, yet even if he wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, you could feel how he air around him had changed.

This was dangerous.

You needed to de-escaalate this situation - otherwise there’d be a disaster.

“Please.”

Your voice was more than enough to calm him down. But he didn’t understand why you would still protect this cheap excuse of a man.

His eyes wandered down to your shivering from, grabbing on his shirt and whispering “You promised me...Never again.”

Bucky gnarled his teeth, still clenching and unclenching his fists, thinking about how he wouldn’t even need weapons to give that guy what he deserved.

But he couldn’t do this to you.

If that was your wish, it’d be his command.

“Let’s just go home, okay?” You cupped his cheeks in your hands, softly brushing his lips with yours to make him calm down. “Don’t become a monster again. Not because of me. I couldn’t live with that.”

Those words really hit his heart like a bullet never could.

“Allright.” His voice was still dark and gruffed, almost as if he was about to cry at any moment.

He gulped harshly, to remove the lump out of his throat, squeezing your small hand way too hard when the two of you turned around and left - but it was alright. You could bear with it.

Thomas had no idea what kind of wrath he just put on himself, neither what had happened just now. Yet it was in his nature to say more than good for him, so he kept on pouring oil in the fire.

“Yeah, and you never need to come back here, you maniacs!”

One last time, without you noticing because you were too busy crying, Bucky turned around to look at your teacher. And the look in his eyes told him everything he needed to know, pulling shivers down his spine.

This wasn’t over. The last word had not yet been spoken.

…

After the two of you made your way home, you would finally tell him the whole story: About the bullying, the abuse - the violence.

And Bucky felt like the worst partner that had ever been.

How could he not have noticed?

No - it was way worse than that.

He did notice. He knew the entire time, yet he turned a blind eye to the situation at hand.

Why hasn’t he tried to find out?

It was so obvious now. All of your reactions, the excuses. The bruises on your body, telling him you had tripped.

How you cried yourself to sleep sometimes, telling him it was just the stress.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. So sorry...” Tears pattered down his face as he watched your sleeping form, covering you in the blanket.

One last time, he would brush your cheek, placing a kiss on the very same spot before he disappeared.

Because he had a mission that couldn’t be delayed.

It wasn’t all that late, but already dark, due to it being winter. And Bucky couldn’t help to remember how often you ‘forgot your jacket’ after your lessons, walking home in the freezing cold. Was that another one of his punishments?

That man would have to suffer. He’d finish him, take him down for good, he-

No. He promised you: No crimes, no murder - and as tempting as it was, no torture either.

The way to Thomas music school wasn’t that long, but Bucky sure took his time, kicking every stone while pondering just how he could make that bastard pay for what he had done to you.

Not once it came to his mind that you could’ve cheated on him, yet he always wondered why you wouldn’t take him to those piano lessons.

Now he knew, and it was hard to bear with it.

Because you were experiencing horrifying things this whole time, while he was enjoying himself in the safety of your shared home.

That was inexcusable, for him as weil as for Thomas.

Meanwhile, Thomas was the last one in the building, having carefully put together the ripped pages.

“Incredible. Magnificent!” he was talking to himself, playing some of the notes you had written. “One masterpiece after another. If I lable them as my own, that’ll be my second breakthrough after so many years of not producing anything!”

Bucky huffed. It was obvious that your teacher was just envious of you already being more talented than he ever was.

“That stupid bitch is so easily to control. I’ll-”

At that very second, Thomas felt a blade being pressed to his neck, already cutting the first, thin skin layer. He was standing in front of a giant mirror, making him able to see his own blood slowly dripping down his skin.

He began to hyperventilate, trying to grab the arms of his attacker - but to no avail.

While Thomas was struggling, James could see himself in the mirror. It was the first time in years hat he was fully geared, even wearing his muffle again.

You were right. The person in the mirror wasn’t him.

Yet it was a part of him. His dark side.

And he could control it. To do the right thing.

“Move, and I will kill you. Make a sound, and I will kill you. Try to fight or fool me, and I will kill you.”

Oh, he could basically see how that man was almost pissing himself, and he had to keep himself from laughing about it. Yet he kept a straight face, seeing how Thomas listened to every of his commands.

All of a sudden, it was all quiet. Thomas wouldn’t even flinch or cry.

“If you understood what I just said, slowly close your eyes.” And so he did, sweating heavily.

“Not all that mighty now, huh? Do you know who I am? If you do, open them again.”

Thomas was a piece of shit, obviously, but he wasn’t stupid. So he wouldn’t do anything.

“Good” Bucky grumbled, balling a fist in the mans hair. “Since you have no idea just what I am. Now listen: You’ve never seen me. You won’t go to he police. You won’t talk about this at all. No one can help you.”

“Wh-what do you-” Smack. One of his teeth flew as soon as Buckys metal backhand hit his cheek.

“I didn’t allow you to speak, pig. I wanted to wipe that obnoxious grin out of your face, you trash. Or should I cut off your hands, so you can never play again?”

His blade was gliding over Thomas body, leaving marks everywhere. “I should make you as ugly on the outside as you are inside...” He wanted to scream in pure terror, but his survival instinct kicked in, telling him to stay silent. Yet his heart was racing so loudly against his chest that it could be heared from afar.

“Anyway: I promise you, I’ll find you anywhere on this world and make you wish you were dead. Not even god will help you, then.”

Bucky threw the whimpering man to the ground, slamming his combat boot just an inch away from his face, leaving that man a shaking and screaming mess.

“Never show your filthy face to us ever again.”

...

It was the night of your concert, and you were as nervous as never before.

Ever since that day, Thomas had disappeared into nothingness, but Bucky assured you that he was alive. You just knew he had something to do with this - but you trusted him.

He was your protector, after all. And you were already feeling guilty enough for not telling him. It took you forever to convince him that he had done nothing wrong.

Just your luck that the descendants of Buckys old piano teacher were still leading that school, welcoming you with open arms.

Finally, your passion for music was enjoyable again. Life was so much easier after you had opened up to Bucky. Something like that would never happen ever again.

“I am so proud of you, Y/N.”

His words gave you strength and confidence. And when the curtain dropped, you felt as if you had been born ready.

All of your friends were sitting in the first row, with Bucky already clapping before you even started, a giant pack of roses on his lap to throw in your direction later.

He was simply baffled by the way you looked in that formal wear, beautiful as always. But the most important thing: You finally looked happy again. Relaxed, content with yourself and everything else.

Sitting down in front of that magnificent piano, you felt everyones glares being stuck on your every move. Calmly sipping on a glass of water, you cleared your throat.

“The following song I composed myself.”

Everyone was curious about what song you would’ve chosen for your great debut.

“I wrote it for the most important person in my life.” At that moment, Buckys and your eyes met, and you felt yourself melting at his passion.

That was for him. For everything you’ve gone through and experienced together.

And everything that would happen in the future you shared.

“I love you.”

As you began to play your song, fingers dancing over the tiles, you tried to pour all the love you felt for this man into your music, honoring his very existence and the fact that he came into your life.

He was your muse.

And you meant everything to him.

_______

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@bepo-is-sorry @fuckthatfeeling@anythingandeverythingmarvel@bucky-fanfiction @blondekel77@kaneki-fuentes @vxidnik@antboyandbumbblebee @lokis-queen05@you-like-this-chain@hiei1300 @lilypalmer1987 @andiyholly@elevenismysweetie@uwu-sebastianstan @seasidespecter @you-like-this-chain @your-pixels-are-showing @wildefire @elfprincess81@escapetheshackles@jellyfishflowers @look-to-the-stars-and-wish@bucky-to-my-barnes @tarithenurse @chennyetomlinson @kenzie-cold-greenkale@jaylarkson @doa1518 @wtfholland @thisgirllikeme@awesome-fangirl-334 @pvnk-bivch @chipilerendi @mandei355@buckybonky@commissioner23 @remember-padfood @chibiyanai@lost-and-wandering-alone @outcastedghost @cautrida@inumorph@meyoko10 @stargurl16 @trashyemonerd@slutforbuckybarnes@tinytravisty @unknownuserhasjoined@otaku-tater@hiddlestoner3059 @tom-fucking-hiddleston-1981@lust-for-pan@fruityflies @iamburdened @death-beetles@shaunamart @fire-in-her-veinz @red-writer13 @libbymouse@lokiscure @i-am-always-famished @alexa4444 @4-a-m @indica-witch @lou-makes-me-strong @phasma-trash @hiddlestoner3059@rocknroll-is-thewaytogo @purpstraw @lovelyangelofasgard@elevenismysweetie@orighami @trashkidsblog @the-resident-demon @littlemartiangurl@thelowkeylokifanblog @za24ever@trubluepensfan @chibiyanai@dsakita @lady-loki-ren@caticorndancingonpainbows @loving-life-my-way@crappyimagines @a-kiddo-with-a-doggo @elwyn7@celestiacq@amor67figment-love @tom-fucking-hiddleston-1981@sweetpeaismylifenow @stanmarvelcu@thewordsinthesky@larryopium @hiei1300 @janepetersonxxx @untoldshortsofthefandoms @lokis-queen05 @saxgirl21 @limedane21 @sparkling-gayyy @lokiscure @getdowntothatfunkysound @emyhonny @randomfandompenguin @marvel-madness @dyanlzbb @inumorph @gian-giannina@chipilerendi @pseudonymfox @neptinite-writings @cautrida@kaneki-fuentes @exhaustedcommonsense @theicecreamhero@killerbumblebee @tarithenurse @sgtbucharest @lokis-helmet@wonderlandteaparty @sweetpeaismylifenow @bionicbishop @red-writer13 @bloodiedskirtts @boohooiamthefool @jackstrenchcoat@chipilerendi @sleeplessnight-pointlessfights @welcomingpayne@crimefightingspiderguy @longlivethereaper @a-wanna-be-emo@lokidoki-e @holy-loki @slutforbuckybarnes @mandei355 @morefics2read @otaku-tater @khatrinaarts @grincheveryday @jessiejunebug @youtxbemusic

If you want to get on the taglist (or deleted from lmao) feel free to ask! ♡

Feedback is always appreciated!

#Bucky x You #BuckyxReader #Bucky x Reader #BuckyxYou #Bucky/Reader #Bucky/You #Marvel #Avengers #Winter Soldier #White Wolf #Bucky #Bucky Barnes #James Buchanan Barnes #Fanfiction #Writing #The threatening scene is heavily influenced by HxH #I just thought it was fitting

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jessicakehoe · 4 years

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19 Canadian Podcasts to Download and Listen to Right Now

Need a break from binge-watching TV? Looking for some entertainment while doing dishes for what seems like the millionth time since quarantine began? Check out these 19 Canadian podcasts that touch on things like identity, the culture of celebrity, the intersection of fashion and technology, beauty entrepreneurship, wellness and more.

Breaking Beauty In this podcast, Canadian beauty editors Jill Dunn and Carlene Higgins interview brand founders on how they made it in the business, and share intel on which new launches to buy and the ones to skip.

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Mark your calendars📆!! Jill will be hosting an IG Live with skincare guru & celeb aesthetician @reneerouleau on Tuesday May 5 at 8pm. Come hang out with us!! PS – any skincare questions for Renee? Drop ‘em in the comments below.

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Show Your Work Elaine “Lainey” Lui, founder of Lainey Gossip, and TV writer Duana Taha co-host this weekly podcast unpacking all the recent happenings in the world of celebrity and entertainment. Topics the two covered recently include the post-royal rebranding of Harry and Meghan, Reese Witherspoon’s media empire, and Jessica Simpson’s new memoir.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle: starting over from scratch https://t.co/8r84tZ8HTl

— Elaine L. (@LaineyGossip) March 30, 2020

Dear Seekers Toronto journalist and social media strategist Sasha Xiao began this podcast in 2018 as a means to connect with “curious, reflective and explorative souls,” seeking deep and honest conversations with a far-ranging roster of women. Recent guests include writer Harriet Alida Lye, wine connoisseur/entrepreneur Nicole Campbell, and store owner Zai Rajkotwala.

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Meet @Harrietalida, a writer, novelist resides in Toronto with her partner, their son and two dogs. ⁠ ⁠ Just at 15 years old, Harriet was diagnosed with a form of Leukaemia called Natural Killer that the average survival time of patients is fifty- eight days. Being the only known survivor of this cancer, Harriet has documented this uniquely important journey in her intimate and powerful memoir Natural Killer, which can be pre-ordered in any bookstore right now. ⁠ ⁠ Welcome to Harriet's world. | Link in bio.⁠ ⁠ Photo: @rawkavai⁠

A post shared by Dear Seekers Podcast (@dearseekers) on Apr 2, 2020 at 6:44am PDT

A Different Tweed Hosted by Toronto-born, New York-based fashion journalist Bronwyn Cosgrave, this podcast “champions the craft of design,” interviewing artisans, designers, stylists and other fashion innovators. Most recently, she spoke with Billy Porter’s stylist, Sam Ratelle; Mark Bozek, the documentary filmmaker behind The Times of Bill Cunningham; and jewellery designer Annoushka Ducas.

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Friends, find a link in my BIO, to the new episode of my fashion podcast A Different Tweed. Filmmaker Mark Bozek discusses his documentary The Times of Bill Cunningham. The film – about the late NY Times photojournalist Bill Cunningham – ultimately proved the result of an impromptu 4-hour video-taped interview which Bozek conducted with Cunningham in 1993. With that, he merged fantastic Cunningham archive photography and narration by Sarah Jessica Parker. On this episode, Mark Bozek also goes back to his beginnings – recalling his time as serving as personal assistant to the legendary method acting coach, Lee Strasberg as well as working for Willi Smith and revolutionizing home shopping by heading up QVC & HSN. On this slide show you will see a portrait of Mark, who Bradley Cooper portrayed in David O. Russell’s film, Joy. I hope this episode proves inspiring in our time of confinement. Please note: due to social distancing this episode is missing my customary introduction. It goes straight to the conversation. But the intros will return. Stay in. Be safe & healthy. @mark.bozek #billcunningham @greenwichentertainment @bcunninghamfilm #sarahjessicaparker #barrydiller @qvc @hsn #willismith #joyfilm #leestrasberg @maxvadukul #bronwyncosgraveconvos

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Code Black Founded by three women working at some of Canada’s biggest communications agencies, this podcast explores a range of topics—like cancel culture, imposter syndrome, and the intertwining of hair and identity—from the unique viewpoint of black communicators.

The latest episode of the Code Black podcast is about imposter syndrome. Have a listen and dash that ish out of your life. https://t.co/icUuQCkPf5 #rebukeimpostersyndrome pic.twitter.com/qh67oAlxkc

— CodeBlackCN (@codeblackCN) January 29, 2020

Fashion Talks In this podcast, produced in partnership with the Canadian Arts and Fashion Awards (CAFA), host Donna Bishop interviews designers, stylists and industry insiders about how fashion helps shape the world we live in and vice versa. Recent guests include Celine Dion’s stylist Annie Horth, fashion bloggers The Beckerman Twins and Joanna Griffiths, CEO of Knix.

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NEW EPISODE 🎙 This week @thisisdonnab and the @beckermantwins talk all things fashion, influencing & much much more. Calli and Sam Beckerman, aka The Beckerman Twins, started their fashion blog before fashion blogging was a thing and quickly became a fixture at New York Fashion Week and beyond. They candidly share stories about their childhood, running their fashion brand and transitioning to blogging, what it means to be an influencer and their thoughts on fashion and the ever evolving media landscape change. Head to wherever you get your podcasts (@applepodcasts @spotify @googleplaymusic) to listen in & learn all about the Beckermans! This episode was proudly produced thanks to the support of @cadillacfairview & @cftorontoeatoncentre and their digital content initiative, #CFStreaming. #CFTorontoEatonCentre #fashiontalks #BeckermanTwins #TheBeckermans

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Electric Runway How Artificial Intelligence will affect the future of retail, the impact of automation on the fashion industry, and fashion’s contribution to climate change are just some of the topics explored by Toronto journalist Amanda Cosco in this podcast about fashion and technology.

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"When we started @vue.ai, we quickly realized the retail problem is a data problem. The fashion problem is a data problem" ~ Ashwini Asokan ⁠ ⁠ In episode 124 of the Electric Runway podcast, we learn more about the artificial intelligence opportunity for online fashion retailers. ⁠ ⁠ One thing that really blew us away is the ability for generative design (a form of AI) to render images of models in apparel, undercutting the need for a traditional (and expensive) fashion shoot. ⁠ ⁠ To check out the full interview, visit the link in our bio, or subscribe to the Electric Runway podcast on Soundcloud, Spotify, or iTunes 🎙🌙⁠ ⁠ #podcasts #podcast #fashionpodcast #techpodcast #ai #artificialintelligence #retail #retailtech #dtc #ai #tunein #fashionbusiness #fashionindustry #tech #technology #thefutureisnow

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The T-Zone Founded by two Toronto-based beauty editors, Emily MacCulloch and Ingrie Williams, The T-Zone offers “digital beauty content that shares an upbeat POV with accessible advice.” Recent podcast interviewees include Lori Taylor Davis, global pro lead artist for Smashbox; Dr. Frauke Neuser, Principal Scientist at Olay; and Lilli Gordon, founder of First Aid Beauty.

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Have you heard about Ayurveda? Balancing holistic wellness with self-care, Lisa Mattam, the founder of @sahajanskincare, shares the rituals & recipes of the ancient practice that can offer so much right now (read: soothed mind, body & soul). From a stress-busting facial massage to the shine-boosting power of hair oiling, her tips are easy ways to elevate your #selfcare routine.

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Lemon Water Toronto-based Michelle Siman launched Lemon Water with the goal to make wellness attainable, as opposed to “this pretentious thing that not everyone can access.” On the podcast, she invites women like Steph Gee of Gee Beauty, Hana James of Greenhouse Juice and Sara Panton of vitruvi to talk about all things fitness, food, skincare, remedies and rituals. “I’m just having conversations with women who are already my healers; people I looked up to in the industry,” Siman told FASHION last year.

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🥭🍊🥑

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Retail Nightmares Vancouver-based co-hosts Alicia Tobin and Jessica Delisle invite comedians, musicians and artists to chat about “hellish retail experiences” and many other topics. On the most recent episode, actress, model, storyteller and activist Cassandra James joined the podcast to discuss “ASMR, General Hospital and the hell dimension/patriarchy.”

The Ghosts ( @chimolicious) are joined by phenomenal guest @cassandrajames_ https://t.co/RtKbUu9EQF

— Alicia Tobin (@AliciaATobin) April 20, 2020

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot On this podcast, award-winning Canadian barber Matty Conrad chats with fellow industry professionals about “interesting and divisive topics, sharing valuable advice on how to achieve success in a highly competitive field, and inspirational stories from the hair and beauty industry today.”

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NEW EPISODE: Tabatha Coffey is known for her straight forward, no-nonsense, raw honesty when it comes to the hairdressing industry, the business off beauty, and all the hairstylists and shop owners she's trying to help survive and thrive behind the chair and beyond. This week on @whiskey_tango_foxtrot_podcast I interview this industry business guru to find out how the thousands of shops that are facing tough times can survive the COVID-19 pandemic.

A post shared by Matty Conrad ✪ (@mattyconrad) on Apr 26, 2020 at 7:08am PDT

Beyond Soap Podcast On this extension of her bestselling book, Beyond Soap, dermatologist Dr. Sandy Skotnicki shares the mic with beauty expert Chantel Guertin to have an honest conversation about things that affect skin health beyond beauty products.

New Episode of the Beyond Soap Podcast! @chantelguertin and I decided it would be fun to talk to the global expert on #Goop and its sometime aversion to science-based therapies: @CaulfieldTim Listen: https://t.co/Ok96CSi3BP pic.twitter.com/bCzkxYheCd

— Dr.SandySkotnicki (@DrSkotnicki) February 3, 2020

Born and Raised “Where are you really from?” is a question familiar to children of immigrants in any country, and it’s what gave rise to this podcast from HuffPost Canada. “Part reflection, part storytelling, Born And Raised digs into our experiences and connections with identity, family, and culture,” reads the official synopsis of this podcast, which has released two seasons so far, one focused on food and the second on love.

That @HuffPostCanada podcast I produce? We're BACK! This season of Born And Raised, @alishakapishaa & I share love stories, as told by Canadians from immigrant families.

❤️ Listen to the first two eps❤️ 🎧 HuffPost: https://t.co/WnsfhWWPj5 🎧 Apple: https://t.co/yNVE0f5xL6 pic.twitter.com/7aqVGSSBVc

— Al Donato (@gollydrat) September 30, 2019

Cavern of Secrets This “show about extraordinary women” is hosted by Toronto comedian Lauren Mitchell and has featured the likes of writer Sarah Hagi, author Eden Robinson and rapper Haviah Mighty. If you go back into the archive, you’ll find interviews with Rookie founder Tavi Gevinson, author Cheryl Strayed and musician Tanya Tagaq.

See you in the cavern! Catch up on all the new episodes here:https://t.co/pY5QWje6mp pic.twitter.com/njGkg3iH5a

— Cavern of Secrets (@cavernofsecrets) October 27, 2019

The Brand is Female This weekly podcast is hosted by Eva Hartling, founder of a strategic brand communications agency of the same name based in Montreal and Toronto. The company specializes in working with women-led and women-focused brands in fashion, lifestyle, beauty and more, and their podcast is an extension of that ethos of female empowerment. Recent guests on the show, which features conversations and stories from successful women in various industries, include Florence Gagnon, founder of LGBTQ+ media company Lez Spread the Word; Stephanie Kersta, psychotherapist and co-founder of meditation studio Hoame; and Jennifer Brodeur, facialist and founder of JB Skin Guru.

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Our latest pod features an interview with @florence_gagnon, founder of @lezspreadtheword and co-creator of @femininfeminin_officiel. Catch it at the link in bio and get Florence’s valuable advice for any entrepreneur or creative with an ambitious project!

A post shared by The Brand is Female (@thebrandisfemale) on Feb 15, 2020 at 7:20am PST

WE Well-Being With the entire world grappling with heightened levels of stress and anxiety during the COVID-19 pandemic, this podcast—hosted by Sophie Grégoire Trudeau—couldn’t have come at a better time. Offering listeners hands-on advice, tools and strategies to foster well-being in their lives, guests on the podcast include Tessa Virtue, Silken Laumann and Margaret Trudeau.

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A new WE WELL-BEING podcast is up! On this episode, which was recorded before the COVID-19 pandemic started, I sat down with Margaret Trudeau to talk about how she’s navigated the ups and downs to create a happy and healthy life. She’s a fierce advocate for mental health, and it was inspiring to hear her speak so candidly about her own journey. Click the link in my bio to listen to our conversation and hear her for yourself. #WednesdayWisdom 🇨🇦❤️ On a un nouveau balado UNIS Bien-être pour vous! Dans cet épisode, qui a été enregistré avant le début de la pandémie de COVID-19, je parle avec Margaret Trudeau de ce qu’elle a fait pour passer à travers les hauts et les bas afin de se bâtir une vie heureuse et en santé. Elle a toujours défendu la santé mentale, et c’était inspirant de l’entendre nous raconter son histoire avec autant de simplicité. Cliquez sur le lien dans ma bio pour écouter notre conversation et entendre son histoire par vous même. #SagesseDuMercredi

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The Afterglow This new podcast from Julie Watson and Liz Doyle Harmer, founders of a Toronto-based yoga studio, discusses the societal pressures put on women “gives you the permission and tools to create your courageous second act.” Recent guests include Jennifer Kolari, a child and family therapist; opera singer Measha Brueggergosman; and designer/creative director Tiffany Pratt.

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Tune in today to hear this inspiring podcast with @thetiffanypratt #Repost @theafterglowpodcastofficial with @get_repost ・・・ You know her and love her. @thetiffanypratt joins us tomorrow for some Love Jamming (her own podcast is called Love Jam- how cool is that?) 💗 We get real, raw and laugh, just a few times (at least).💗 Tune in tomorrow at noon, on Spotify, Apple, and anywhere you listen to podcasts. Don’t forget to rate us!! 💗💗💗 #theafterglowpodcastofficial

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Inappropriate Questions Season 2 of this CBC podcast features a whole new list of inappropriate questions people just shouldn’t ask—but still do. Like “Are you full-native?” or “Have you lost weight?”. Hosted by Elena Hudgins Lyle and Harvinder Wadhwa, the series deconstructs the invasive questions often asked to different communities, and explores what these questions imply, their social and historical contexts, and why people ask them.

Artist @HanaShafi wants you to stop giving advice on how to manage her IBS—she’s heard it before and you’re not a doctor.

(1/2) pic.twitter.com/iHUufi3MT9

— Inappropriate Questions Podcast 🚫⁉️🎧 (@IQ_Podcast) July 8, 2020

This Is Not a Drake Podcast This five-part limited series from the CBC explores the evolution of hip-hop and R&B through the lens of Drake’s career. Hosted by radio producer and documentarian Ty Harper, the podcast unpacks rap and R&B’s long and complicated history, dives into the evolution of gender dynamics in hip-hop and the rise of the Nice Guy rapper, and explores how the mixtape revolution made Drake’s success possible.

So it's out. The first episode of a new limited run series I hosted/produced. It uses Drake as a lens to explore hip-hop's ongoing history. So it's kind of about Drake — but it really isn't… which explains the title… 'This Is Not a Drake Podcast'. https://t.co/hEYAUJ3rLB pic.twitter.com/gnXBIZAVEC

— Ty Harper (@TyHarper) June 16, 2020

The post 19 Canadian Podcasts to Download and Listen to Right Now appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

19 Canadian Podcasts to Download and Listen to Right Now published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

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jessicakehoe · 4 years

Text

15 Canadian Podcasts to Subscribe to Right Now

Need a break from binge-watching TV? Looking for some entertainment while doing dishes for what seems like the millionth time since quarantine began? Check out these 15 Canadian podcasts that touch on things like identity, the culture of celebrity, the intersection of fashion and technology, beauty entrepreneurship, wellness and more.

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A post shared by BreakingBeautyPodcast 🎙💅🏻 (@breakingbeautypodcast) on Apr 30, 2020 at 7:02am PDT

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle: starting over from scratch https://t.co/8r84tZ8HTl

— Elaine L. (@LaineyGossip) March 30, 2020

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The latest episode of the Code Black podcast is about imposter syndrome. Have a listen and dash that ish out of your life. https://t.co/icUuQCkPf5 #rebukeimpostersyndrome pic.twitter.com/qh67oAlxkc

— CodeBlackCN (@codeblackCN) January 29, 2020

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🥭🍊🥑

A post shared by lemon water (@itslemonwater) on Apr 27, 2020 at 3:36pm PDT

The Ghosts ( @chimolicious) are joined by phenomenal guest @cassandrajames_ https://t.co/RtKbUu9EQF

— Alicia Tobin (@AliciaATobin) April 20, 2020

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A post shared by Matty Conrad ✪ (@mattyconrad) on Apr 26, 2020 at 7:08am PDT

— Dr.SandySkotnicki (@DrSkotnicki) February 3, 2020

That @HuffPostCanada podcast I produce? We're BACK! This season of Born And Raised, @alishakapishaa & I share love stories, as told by Canadians from immigrant families.

❤️ Listen to the first two eps❤️ 🎧 HuffPost: https://t.co/WnsfhWWPj5 🎧 Apple: https://t.co/yNVE0f5xL6 pic.twitter.com/7aqVGSSBVc

— Al Donato (@gollydrat) September 30, 2019

See you in the cavern! Catch up on all the new episodes here:https://t.co/pY5QWje6mp pic.twitter.com/njGkg3iH5a

— Cavern of Secrets (@cavernofsecrets) October 27, 2019

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The post 15 Canadian Podcasts to Subscribe to Right Now appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

15 Canadian Podcasts to Subscribe to Right Now published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

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jessicakehoe · 4 years

Text

14 Canadian Podcasts to Subscribe to Right Now

Need a break from binge-watching TV? Looking for some entertainment while doing dishes for what seems like the millionth time since quarantine began? Check out these 14 Canadian podcasts that touch on things like identity, the culture of celebrity, the intersection of fashion and technology, beauty entrepreneurship, wellness and more.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by BreakingBeautyPodcast 🎙💅🏻 (@breakingbeautypodcast) on Apr 30, 2020 at 7:02am PDT

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle: starting over from scratch https://t.co/8r84tZ8HTl

— Elaine L. (@LaineyGossip) March 30, 2020

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A post shared by Dear Seekers Podcast (@dearseekers) on Apr 2, 2020 at 6:44am PDT

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A post shared by Bronwyn Cosgrave (@cosgravebronwyn) on Mar 30, 2020 at 10:01am PDT

The latest episode of the Code Black podcast is about imposter syndrome. Have a listen and dash that ish out of your life. https://t.co/icUuQCkPf5 #rebukeimpostersyndrome pic.twitter.com/qh67oAlxkc

— CodeBlackCN (@codeblackCN) January 29, 2020

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🥭🍊🥑

A post shared by lemon water (@itslemonwater) on Apr 27, 2020 at 3:36pm PDT

The Ghosts ( @chimolicious) are joined by phenomenal guest @cassandrajames_ https://t.co/RtKbUu9EQF

— Alicia Tobin (@AliciaATobin) April 20, 2020

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A post shared by Matty Conrad ✪ (@mattyconrad) on Apr 26, 2020 at 7:08am PDT

— Dr.SandySkotnicki (@DrSkotnicki) February 3, 2020

That @HuffPostCanada podcast I produce? We're BACK! This season of Born And Raised, @alishakapishaa & I share love stories, as told by Canadians from immigrant families.

❤️ Listen to the first two eps❤️ 🎧 HuffPost: https://t.co/WnsfhWWPj5 🎧 Apple: https://t.co/yNVE0f5xL6 pic.twitter.com/7aqVGSSBVc

— Al Donato (@gollydrat) September 30, 2019

See you in the cavern! Catch up on all the new episodes here:https://t.co/pY5QWje6mp pic.twitter.com/njGkg3iH5a

— Cavern of Secrets (@cavernofsecrets) October 27, 2019

The post 14 Canadian Podcasts to Subscribe to Right Now appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

14 Canadian Podcasts to Subscribe to Right Now published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

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