#and then i talk about plans for the year ahead

[meowmarkie]

test drive — lhc

After getting stuck with creator's block thanks to a specific sexual scenario contained in your book, you end up accepting Haechan's suggestion on what could happen next.

pairing... haechan × afab!reader

genre... smut

word count... 2.0k

a/n! this is the first smut i've even written in my whole 19 years of life, so i apologize in advance if the writing seems somewhat... stiff and unrealistic! i hope you guys enjoy it <3

You sighed loudly for the 4th time in less than 5 minutes, hands never leaving the loud notebook’s keyboards. This — and the way you were slamming your fingers down on the poor keys — caught your boyfriend’s attention, who was sitting across from you at the dinner table. “What is it, Y/N?” He said, looking at you with soft eyes.

Haechan took the opportunity to study for his calculus final once he noticed that you wouldn’t be giving him any attention for the time being. He knew better than to disturb you once you opened your laptop and prepared yourself to write.

However, even though he knew he shouldn’t talk to you at the moment, the boy couldn’t bring himself not to. You just looked so divine, wearing nothing but his long shirt and the underwear bought by him, hair framing your face ever so nicely. The way you puffed your lips in annoyance was making him go insane by the minute. He was waiting patiently for an opening, and there it was. “Talk to me, pretty. Let’s see if I can help.”

“Not right now! I need to finish this paragraph, but I don’t know how to carry on with the story.” Haechan knew damn well what he was doing when he used the nickname that made you shiver. You sighed once more, which made Haechan laugh and mutter ‘cute’ under his breath. That was enough to make your cheeks burn and your gaze to divert. “Okay, fine. I don’t know if they should… you know… have sexual intercourse, or if I should make them suffer with some angst.” It was adorable to him how you always got shy when talking to him about sex in general. It was endearing in his eyes.

“I know someone who could have sexual intercourse right about now.” He loved to tease you, especially when you made it so hard not to. The both of you have been dating for a little over a year now, and just the sight of you still managed to make him so needy. Needy for sex, needy for your attention and needy for your love.

“Haechan!” You shrieked, hands instantly covering your face in embarrassment, which made him get up and stand behind you, hovering over your delicate figure, having already planned ahead on what to do. “What are you doing…?”

“I’m reading. Let me see where you stopped, I might have an idea.” He looks over and reads what you wrote, not being able to contain a smile. Everything you wrote was amazingly good, and the boy felt proud to have a girlfriend who was talented and prone to be one of the best in her generation. “Hmm… Okay! I know what to do. Let’s test your scenario out.”

Suddenly, you were out of the chair having Haechan’s hands grip your waist firmly. He placed you on top of the table with some effort, before spreading your legs enough for him to place himself in between them.

“That’s where you left off, right? When you were writing?” He said, tone breathlessly whiny and eyes full of lust. When you thought he couldn’t get any closer, he managed to do so right before nuzzling your neck, leaving a trail of kisses and small bites throughout your neck’s curve. Your breasts were pressed firmly against his chest, the sensation alone making you quiver.

It was so hot to see how much Haechan worshiped you, since being this close to your body and being, and also able to play with your neck gave him an almost painful hard on. He couldn’t keep his eagerness contained, making him kiss you passionately using his tongue right away, caging you to his impatient lips. 

He needed you so badly that following his lead was getting harder by the minute. His shaky hands explored every part of your barely clothed body, stopping for a moment on your breasts, which he fondled. A soft whine escaped from your lips, making him smirk playfully. 

“Do you really think it’s a good choice to stop this from going further, Y/N?” Haechan pulled away for a moment, making you whine, missing his lips on your mouth and his hand on your sensitive upper area.  “Y-You’d want the guy… You’d really want me to stop, beautiful? Hm?” His hot breath and shuddering sighs of pleasure were enough to turn you on even more.

“No… Please don’t, Hae. Please make me feel good” Your legs unconsciously spread open even more while your arms went back to your sides, supporting your weight once again. Not needing to hear anything else, Haechan removed your shirt, and the sight of you — almost completely bare — made him drool.

In a split second after taking the sight in, his mouth engulfed over your breast at the same time that his free hand played with your already hard nipple. The drawn out moan you let out seemed to wake up something in him, who started to grope you even harder.

Next thing you knew, his lips traveled shamelessly throughout your body, kissing every curve and every exposed spot until he got to your cunt. Your whines and moans grew louder and more desperate, making his cock twitch inside his sweatpants.

“Oh… b-baby…” He took intervals between kissing your inner thighs and the high part of your crotch. All this teasing was making you go insane and the only coherent thought in your head was telling you to shove his head in, so that he could start eating you out. However, the ‘writer’ in you begged to let this play out. “You’re this wet, just for… me.” 

Your boyfriend wasn’t the dominant type, and that was okay with you, yet there were rare times in which he would need you so badly that taking control over you was needed. This situation was happening right now, and you wanted to see how it would play out without any interference.

“Can I eat you out, Y/N? Can I fuck your pretty pussy with my tongue?” He asked, while caressing your clothed clit with his index finger — after getting on his knees for you —, making your hips buck up at the feeling. Haechan barely did anything and yet here you were, ready to give yourself to him.

“Please!” Your pants grew faster once he started removing the fabric that trapped your wet and warm core. He smiled once more at the sight of your pussy spread open just for him, arousal running down towards your ass cheeks. “I’m all yours, Hae…”

Once his hot tongue reaches your entrance, you can’t help but twitch your hips and moan his name as loud as you can. You didn’t know how needy you were until he finally started desperately making out with your pussy, licking and sucking every last bit of wetness you released, flicking his tongue desperately in order to cover all the area. Your legs were shaking as the lewd and wet sounds filled the room, the pleasure you both experienced at the moment exceeded the need for words.

And then, when your hand finally found his hair, it was Haechan’s turn to start moaning hopelessly while still eating your cunt, the vibrations helping send you even more over the edge. It wouldn’t take long for you to cum if he kept going at it. 

You didn’t think you could feel more pleasure than this, until your boyfriend manages to one up you once more. As he gets fixated on a specific spot on your clit, one of his hands trails up your leg, his middle and index fingers finding themselves lined up with your entrance. Yet another pornographic moan leaves your lips once he fingers you — slowly at first.

“Oh! m’gonna… Oh! ‘Gonna cum!” You say, hips bucking forward at an abnormal speed, having your head thrown back and back fully arched. As soon as Haechan speeds up to find the sweet spot he longed for, he can feel your pussy clenching around his fingers. 

“Yeah? Is my pretty girl going to cum for me?” Haechan pulled away for a moment in order to glance at you, and you noticed that he looked incredibly pussy drunk. Your fluids dripped from both sides of his mouth, his eyes were as hooded as yours and his lips quivered from excitement. 

Before you could even consider what to answer, your whole body began to tremble as you cum in his mouth, his words went straight to your core, helping you get to the state you found yourself in. The sight delights Haechan, who can only stare at you — his perfect girlfriend — in awe.

Once you seemed to have ridden your high on his fingers, he removed them slowly resulting in a loud ‘pop’ sound, instantly sucking on them after in order to taste every last drop of your release. “You look so beautiful, Y/N…” He says, while still on his knees.

“Get up, pretty boy. ‘Wanna make you feel good now.” Needless to say that Haechan never got up faster than this in his whole life.

Your hands snaked around his waist, putting him in the same position as before. His eyes were filled with anticipation over whatever it was that you planned to do — he didn’t care what it was, he only cared about the fact that you’d be the one doing it to him.

The moment his crotch came in contact with your still impossibly wet core, he bit his lip while his eyes closed on instinct. He tried to suppress a moan, but failed once your hand reached his bulge.

“Oh… Y/N…!” Your name sounded delicious as it left his lips, encouraging you to take your actions further, and slip a hand in the band of his sweats in order to bring them down.

As soon as you did so, his cock sprung up, gluing itself to his owner's belly. Being able to see him like this, all sweaty and wrapped around your finger, made the burning sensation return to your sensitive cunt. In turn, a glance at Haechan could tell that he was just as sensitive as you.

You took the opportunity to rub slow circles with your thumb on his reddened head that leaked pre-cum like crazy while looking deeply into his eyes, sending an overwhelming sensation throughout his body. Your poor boyfriend was so overstimulated that he’d cum if you just kept doing this for two more minutes. However, that wasn’t your plan.

Placing your hand on the base of his cock with a soft squeeze made Haechan almost fall apart, the only thing preventing him from doing so being your body. 

“K-Keep doing! That!” His voice managed to be higher than yours as he pleaded, starting to thrust into your hand since he was looking for his much desired release. “Fuck! ‘S so tight…” His delirious ‘fucked out’ state made him imagine that it was your pussy he was bottoming out into. “Hmmm… Feels too good, baby. Oh! I’m-”

Haechan got cut out by his strong orgasm since seeing your tits bounce as he ruined your hand combined with the thoughts of eating you out made him go over the edge, and cum into your hand. White spurts of his seed making a mess on your thighs, stomach and table. You definitely needed to clean that out after.

Both of you stood there, panting for air once the mood changed to something calmer, just holding each other tight.

“Well…” Your boyfriend was the first to break the silence. “I think you should write something like this. Hope that helps.” He said, trying to suppress his laugh.

“I don’t even know what to reply.” You were pondering if you should laugh or just call him a dumbass. At last, you did both.

“Yeah, but I’m your dumbass.” He smiled and kissed you dearly, also placing a few strands of your hair behind your ear. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up.”

And so, he helped you get off the table and you couldn’t stop smiling. He was always such a gentleman, who would do anything and everything you asked for. You’d always be grateful to have him in your life. Especially since he helped you with some test drives like this for your upcoming book.

#haechan x y/n #haechan x you #haechan x reader #nct haechan #haechan #haechan imagines #haechan hard hours #haechan smut #nct dream #nct dream x reader #nct imagines #nct smut #nct 127 x reader #nct fanfic #haechan fanfic #haechan fic #lee donghyuck #donghyuck x reader

[lovebittenbyevans]

Rumors & The Truth

Summary: When Toji put out a statement about you and him, he realized things were about to really change for him personally.

Pairing: F1driver! Toji Fushiguro x friend! Female Reader

Warnings: cursed words, social media au

Author note: I appreciate people who left a comment on this series. Continue AU series Life In The Spotlight. Follow along Mystery Girl. This will be Toji pov and get a glimpse of what he’s feeling in a way. A little bit of reader pov as well. Enjoy reading!

– Comments, Reblogs and Likes are appreciated

Toji knew this would come out sooner or later. He knows everything is brought to the surface eventually. He just wanted to keep this side of you and him hidden way longer.

In his head he is panicking and pissed off at the same time. His publicist Ryan warns him about the paparazzi having a way of making things public and a way of not keeping quiet forever.

He tried calling you a few times but you didn’t pick up. He wanted to do the right thing even though he didn’t want to confirm anything. Toji and you were just friends who like each other company but sometimes fuck each other as well.

“What’s the plan?” Ryan asked, sitting at his desk.

Toji fixed his race suit while adjusting it a little. “You tell me.” He mocked him. “I am not going to put out a bullshit statement when you know I see Y/N only as a friend.”

Ryan sighs as he scratches the back of his neck. “Just be honest. I would never tell you to lie.” Toji pulled out the chair and sat down. “You do know her life is about to change right?” Ryan wanted to make sure that Toji knows what is about to happen.

He continues. “The amount of time the press sees you with different girls every week is different from you and y/n.”

Toji nods. “Mhm.” A part of him was hoping this day would never come. His whole career was about his new talk about him with you.

He leaned back in the chair when he heard his phone buzzing on Ryan's desk. He immediately picked up his phone and saw your name on the screen.

Thank fucking god

He pressed the green button to answer and put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Is it an emergency?” You spoke through the phone.

Toji clears his throat. “I have to put out a–” He pauses for a second, turning off his British accent. “The statement I am about to post is going to be about us. Is that alright?” He sounded more American.

He really needs to stop picking up the British accent since he's been living in London for three years now even though he sometimes doesn’t pay enough attention when he talks.

“What else is new, T? Do whatever it is.” At the end of the line all he heard was a beeping sound. He couldn’t blame you for hanging up on him. He deserves it.

He sighs. “She gave me the go ahead.” He pressed one of his social media apps on his phone.

“So, what are you going to say exactly?” Ryan leaned forward with a smirk on his face.

He was loving this to begin with.

Toji rubs his chin trying to figure out what to actually say without making y/n look humiliated. “Something along the lines of us being friends.”

Ryan raises an eyebrow. “I told you people might not believe that. They are already believing you and y/n are a couple.”

Toji rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. “For fuck stake Ry.” He knew his publicist was right. In his mind he didn’t want to screw up at all. He doesn't want to lose you as a friend either.

“I’m just saying just speak from your heart and be honest this time.” He shrugged. “And hurry up because you have a race to do.” Ryan got up from his chair and squeezed Toji's shoulder before he walked out his office door.

Toji sat there with his phone in hand already had in his mind what picture he wanted to post with a caption knowing you mean so much to him in a way.

tojifushiguro I have known y/nusername for years and we have built an amazing friendship over the years. She got my back. I have hers. She is my go to in this friendship whenever I need her to just hangout or just have a good conversation with. She will always be my best friend that I can count on. I will be always be there for her as well.

After hitting the post button on his phone screen, he noticed his instagram notifications started going crazy. He shut his phone off and gave his phone to his assistant.

“I think you did the right thing.” Victoria told him.

He got up from the chair and ran his hand through his hair. “Well, whoever doesn't like the truth can shove it up their ass.” He walked out the door going straight to his team garage.

Toji realized this was just the beginning of press being in his personal life more then before

#toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x female reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x fem!reader #jjk x y/n #toji fushiguro x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x female reader #toji x y/n

[shansrois]

ok imagine being ningguang's younger sister and secretly in a relationship with the runaway kazuha.

this has been in my draft for 2 years now, i just discovered it again and felt like continuing it <3 to remind my stem student self about my affection for literature.

kaedehara kazuha x gn!reader

fluff, i promise

First of all, being Ningguang's sister means she cannot have as much time to bond with you. but she will definitely make up for it with weekly dinners to catch up with each other's lives.

And being Kazuha's lover, knowing the risks of rumors that may spread when they see you both together, you would both rather not expose your relationship into public. But, Beidou might already have knowledge about your situation, but we'll talk about that later.

Whenever you have the chance to see each other, you two will walk around the silent streets of the harbor at night and snuggle beneath a huge tree somewhere faraway from the city. His body and clothes are very soft to touch and to hug. when he you both wake up from the short nap, you just do whatever feels right at the moment.

You could explore more areas ahead and go sight-seeing, or just chat about how you're doing these past few weeks while your head is laid on his shoulders.

When you find some sort of animal like a cat or a dog, Kazuha would 100% call it over to come to your side. Then you will pet them and give them some food you have. He loves cats, he swore to you that when he is able to go back to Inazuma without a stain on his name, he will bring you with him and visit alot of beautiful places and visit his friend's cat. And the grave too 💀

Okay anyways 😊

As sneaky as Kazuha is, he was still busted by the captain, I assume he was caught in a trap that was set by beidou which revealed what he actually does in his freetime. She promised not to tell ningguang though, hopefully she really doesn't yet. But, to be completely honest, you wanted to tell her about your relationship yourself.

So one day, when you had the chance to talk to her during her free time, you couldn't miss out on the opportunity to share this little secret with your beloved sister.

"Sister, it's nice to see you again. The weather is magnificent today, isn't it?"

"Hello to you, too. I have tea and snacks prepared for this afternoon. Do make yourself comfortable."

"Hmmm let's have a very honest conversation sis."

The curiosity in Ningguang's eyes gave you the sign to continue.

"Let's play a game, we take turns in asking each other some questions. If we do not want to answer a question, we take a sip of this drink with 40% alcohol that I bought from Fontaine! How does that sound?"

She thought about it for a few seconds and replied.

"That offer sounds very much like you, very well, I'll have my schedule cleared out for the expected aftermath of this game you have."

"Great! Let's start. You can go first sissy."

"How did you get ahold of this high-class drink in Fontaine?"

"Ahaha I... I asked for help from Beidou. Okay my turn! Do you swing that way?" (HAPPY PRIDE MONTH LOVELY PEOPLE)

"Ah yes, seems like you have caught on to my... preferences. Now I shall ask you this question. Are you... Hiding something from me?"

"Yes. Next question, are you and Beidou a thing?"

She was speechless for a few seconds and suddenly she poured herself a drink.

"What! We were getting to the good part!"

"I refuse to elaborate on that topic. Now. Are you and a certain samurai secretly seeing each other in the shadows?"

"Huhh?! What-how, uh, yeah. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?"

"Beidou is a little too chatty."

Beidou huh.

"Whatever, but yeah, that was the thing that I wanted to talk with you today. Do you approve of us?"

"Sure, why not. That boy has gentleness and passion flowing into his veins. He's totally your type as well. You have my blessings in whatever your plans are with him."

(will continue once i get more sleep)

#kaedehara kazuha #kazuha fluff #kazuha #kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha genshin impact #ningguang #beidou #genshin impact #genshin fluff

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Late Night Talking

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #MDZS #wei wuxian #lan wangji #This scene had massive 'we are the only two people still up at the sleepover' energy #thought let me set the record straight; wwx doesn't open up in the scene. He fully deflects #Nor does LWJ play with ants B*( #I wanted to merge the two scenes a bit that's all #My OG script was a bit funnier but it broke continuity so rip (i.e: wwx outright stated 'remember when YOU...' in reference to the ants) #also rip to lwj saying 'hey U up?' like he's texting his crush. I hope the spirit is still there #We all know lwj sticks to his 9pm bedtime no matter what #and wouldn't be traditionally texting on a cellphone #He wakes up at 4:30 am to go for a run #gets home at 5:30 to use the lan household computer to go on his shared google doc with wwx and comments 'are you still awake?' #cause lets me real. wwx might also keep a steady sleep schedule but at least he *can* pull an all-nighter #Can you imagine lwj at a sleepover? I admit to being the kid who went to bed and woke up 3-4 hours before the others #you either get fed up and wake someone else up for enrichment - or plan ahead to bring a book - or Walk Home #I fully missed out on all that deep heart to heart stuff. I usually was the one to go 'guysssss we are gonna get in troubleeee go to sleep' #wait this is too much sleepover talk I need to talk about wwx in the last panel. It's a mix of panic and pride. #He's just at the beginning of realizing this guy has changed a lot in 13 years #gonna be a while before more comic pages get posted but they're ready to go in the queue! #(I'm still posting other stuff daily though!)

[needylittlegirl]

theres a 99% chance we’re gonna move so i have to start packing little things now cause it makes the transition easier but i hate it i dont want to

#i know i sound like am immature little kid just pouting and stomping my foot #but i’ve had to move every two years since i was like 14 for so many different reasons #each place ive moved to just got increasingly worse so i think i have the right to pout like a 14 yr old girl #but its just dumb #if i start taking stuff down now itll make it easier to leave cause it wont feel like my space by then #its what ive always done #if i pack weeks ahead of time it just feels like im leaving a hotel or something #but right nows the hard part #im not even over my childhood home/s #i cant talk about those without crying and its been 20 years #i’d just like to stay in one place for awhile #we wont be going far cause me and my sister both have jobs right here but #its still different #im tired of seeing my stuff in boxes im tired of not feeling safe in my own space #it all just makes me so unstable cause i cant plant my roots anywhere #idk maybe its stupid #if everything goes according to plan #we’ll probably be moving a little after memorial day #and all i want to do is lock my door and refuse to let anyone do anything #im still just that little girl that was leaving her childhood bedroom and moving hours away #tbd #i didnt even get to skate today cause its raining #whatever im gonna get in bed and watch movies til i can go to sleep #if ive been bad at responding to msgs or not posting as much . this is why 👍 #any sort of change like this makes me isolate myself like crazyy

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

one thing they dont tell you abt not expecting to make it to this point is how it fucks up your plans for the foreseeable future

#sorry for getting depressing i just need it out because i dont want to talk with my therapist about it yet and i cant tell my mom #but like.... i was never expecting to make it to my birthday. for the the lasr #2? #maybe even 3 years #especially last year and now and like #now its like 2 months away and i. dont know what i want again #we just go to ihop because my sister likes it #like i tried to get ideas with my mom and i. dont have any #i cant do anything i used to think was fun and i dont have anything i. Want now #i can do presents. just give me a budget and i can work that out #but fucking. plans? i just. i just. i dont want anything. nothing seems special or important anymore #it all feels like another day. and i just. god i dont even know what cake i want. #can i even have cake? it'll just give me a headache anyway #and like..i guess its in part to how i can barely visualize anything in the future nowadays #i cant be happy for something a month ahead anymore. not even something in a week #and i just. god #personal posts and stuff idk #aethers rants #cw vent #tw vent #cw sui ideation #alluded to. i guess

[dbphantom]

maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...

#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open #i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed #AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA #i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE #I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table #yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching] #okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante #to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1 #despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat #(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of #it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc #[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest]) #so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic #since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh. #it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them #its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not. #BUT #later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag #and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN' #and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)' #and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D #it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in #any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other #also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move #because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc #well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg) #im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c #(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters! #i love u H2O #cruddy rambles

[daz4i]

i don't think "this character fooled not just others in the story but even the audience" counts when the story never gave enough details to imply what the truth is. like this detail especially even contradicts stuff we already knew (not in a twist way, in a lore way) or implies new worldbuilding we never knew about. this does not count as fooling the audience it's just a lazy twist sorry

#once again ''replying'' to posts i see on my dash and disagree with but i don't wanna actually bother op #i think you can guess what this is about tho? maybe? like what the twist in question is at least. given the recent events #i think this twist makes a few already established things fall apart and not in a good way #and the thing is. you COULD have added hinting details beforehand. make em real subtle too #but i don't. think asagiri planned far ahead enough to do so back then 😭 and we're talking years ago here

[allofuswantgwinam]

i hate my life fr

#im not doin very good #I am not where i want to be bc a man lied to me #and i let him #6 1/2 years later i am lost #so behind #everyone is ahead of me #I wanna disappear and cry #i feel trapped and stuck #can’t move out without a roommate #all my friends got a roomate while I put my trust in a man #who lied and used me and string me along #he never planned to get us a place he lied #im so fucked #I just want to go away #I hate everything #and I just saw where my best friend just moved in to a house with someone he doesn’t even really like #or used to talk about was a bad friend so #that hasn’t triggered me at all #im fine #not really i wanna kms

[theflyingfeeling]

still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧

#last morning when i got up i wasn't at all sure i'd live to see the release of deadzone lol #since then i've been able to walk and stand up somewhat normally without wanting to cry and/or die #last night i slept more than the two previous nights combined. which still isn't that much but at least i did sleep #i did also wake up so completely drenched in my own sweat (from mild fever going down after i had taken a painkiller for a headache)- #-that i had to get up and dry myself with a towel 😂 #and there was a huge wet spot (of sweat) on my bed where i had lied 🙂 #i have lost three fourths of my vocal range so i can't e.g. laugh #(not that i've had a whole lot to giggle about these past few days 💀) #i'm bummed out i can't do preparations for my new job #i definitely should've started earlier but i would've had plenty of time this week had i not caught the cold at the stupid festival 🤧 #i did not plan this! besides i'm not gonna start working weeks ahead for a job i'm not even getting paid for yet #for the same reason no one can expect me to work while sick for a job i haven't gotten a single penny from #hell even if i WAS paid no one could expecte me to work while sick #so i shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to work on my fic instead of the course plans #which btw i already sort of have because my predecessors gave me practically ALL the material i might need #so all i reallly need to do is change the dates of the course plans and bob's your uncle #but i'd like to also study the material a bit before teaching it so that i'll at least seem like i know what i'm talking about 💀 #mom said on the phone that i've managed situations like this before so i will manage this too and she's right i guess but 😭😭😭 #but yeah i guess this is some sort of developement from last year when i had the 'rona- #-and felt awful about ordering food/groceries in because ''i don't want to be a bother'' 😂

[mintchochipkookie]

kim namjoon for world president when

#half of my entertainment analytics class FOR SOME FUCKING REASON was about NFTs #these 2 bros from the industry talking about how nfts were the future of entertainment or whatever the fuck #pretending like it was good for fans and had nothing to do with corporations wanting to profit even more #they had the audacity to say that FANS ACTUALLY WANT TO PROFIT OFF THEIR INTERESTS #i was like have you been a fan of a single thing even once in your life #fandom is so special to me and it's one of the sincerest purest forms of appreciating something #i feel real anger at billion dollar companies trying to monetize this space till only the rich can afford to like things #like every other fucking part of society #this isn't even considering the negative impact they have on the environment #this is purely from a moral standpoint about appreciating art #anyway. all this basically to say that when hybe announced the bts nft thing last year #i literally felt a pit in my stomach like something i had just started loving was being taken away from me already #reading that namjoon made a presentation to convince their executives not to move ahead with the plan.....you literally don't understand #i owe kim namjoon my life lmao #i hope he knows how much i appreciate him i'm so glad i picked the right group to stan #anyway. none of this matters i'm just feeling a lot of things rn and i want to say once again that i love bts #every single one of them they just mean so much to me #ik it's some form of a parasocial relationship or whatever but i don't care right now #i feel so grateful to him ik it's dumb but it is what it is #to delete later

[airbenderedacted]

Since dominator said it was dangerous for her to go out without her suit, do you think she is also physically weak but magically powerful like lord hater

Oh, no way. Dominator definitely isn't as strong as she is in her suit, but she definitely isn't weak without it. Her and Sylvia were able to beat up every patron in a karaoke bar with their bare fists, and Dom didn't even break a sweat doing it!!

AND RIGHT BEFORE THAT, DOM HIT THIS HUGE GUY OVER THE HEAD WITH A TABLE SO HARD THAT SHE BROKE THE THING IN HALF!?!?? there is so much wrong with her it's incredible

Plus, the writers calling her a "gracefully savage fighter" unarmored, and feeling that she could win a 1v1 against Syl (who IS physically stronger than her by a lot) because of how savagely she fights, totally cements it for me that she is nowhere near weak without her armor and fancy tech 😳

I think the reason she said it was dangerous for her to go out without her suit was because she’d be without the near-invulnerability that it grants her, on a planet she (prooobablyyy) hadn’t scoped out yet, with absolutely no game plan as to what she’d be doing down there, let alone what she would do if she did run into trouble of any kind.

I mean, think about it. She’s the most feared and despised villain in the ENTIRE galaxy — everyone has a bone to pick with her — and if anyone actually tried to square up and take her down because of that, she’d be totally fine in that instance, sure, she’s Lord Dominator for crying out loud, but if someone was able to come after her undetected and pull out a serious weapon or, heck, just hit her with their car or something? WHADDYA DO THEN!? NOTHING!! YOU JUST GET GOT BY WHAT YOU DIDN’T CATCH COMING!

If you’re her and you’re gonna go somewhere and be easily identifiable, the unlikelihood of something bad happening to you doesn’t really matter, it’s still a danger regardless, that’s just common sense. Dominator may see herself as... a bit more untouchable than she actually is, but she’s still smart enough to recognize when something like this would be way too dumb a risk to take

#Wander Over Yonder #Lord Dominator #glistening-gay #I wrote possibly way more than I needed to here... and yet I sTILL forgot to address how Dominator- #-canonically stays several steps ahead of everybody by plotting out what her game plan is gonna be in a given situation #or a possible situation. and several other possible situations. and so on and so forth because she's a master strategist and #doing all that is what keeps her so gotdang undefeatable (among other things) and TNO was an AMAZING insight into what she's like- #-when she DOESN'T do that #...okay there I think I covered that in the tags better (and more concisely) than I would've in the post body YIPPEE #(or at least hopefully i did idk sbjndsbnfvbn) #CAN YOU TELL I FIXATED ON EVERY LITTLE THING PERTAINING TO HER OVER ALL MY YEARS OF BEING IN THIS FANDOM SDHJFDSBNMDNMNDSN #it's been a bit since i've rustled around through this part of my brain... i really liked this i've missed talking about this!!! #this made me happy !!! #okay i'll stop talking now finally ahjgfbmn

[scarletcomet]

ngl besties but i am not doing so great right now. anyone else not able to function because of constant thoughts of hurting yourself and crushing depression?

#im good dont worry #i don't even know how to feel better #all i do is try to keep myself distracted 100% of the time but that means I can't do things that i need to do #im in a therapy program 25 hours a week #but i don't know what to share during process group because there was no trigger for all of this. i just feel so shitty for no reason #i did a lot of cbt and dbt when i was younger so the skills aren't very useful to me even if i wanted to use them #when i talk to the therapist one on one i just tell her about how i want to kill myself and stuff #i don't even really want to get better because that means that i won't kill myself and have to be alive #but i know that i can't kill myself so i need to get better. i don't want to though. #i feel like no one can help me including myself even if i tried really hard because i just can't stop these thoughts #i can't go on like this. when you feel like this and don't feel safe then you're supposed to go to the emergency room #and they will probably send you to the psych ward. but i was just there and they barely helped me. #i know that i have a bright future ahead of me and i will get my degree next year from a good university in an employable field #i know i have such a good life and a bright future but i don't want it #i feel like a horrible person and so ungrateful for saying that #anyways i guess i just need to keep trying to get through each day even though i don't want to and it's so fucking hard #my suicidal thoughts are actually getting a little better but they are still almost constant and overwhelming #and sometimes i can't help but make suicide plans which i know if concerning but i haven't actually taken any steps towards carrying out #those plans #i just wish that that i could be dead. it would solve all my problems. but my family and ffriends would be sad. #if i can't kill myself and i always feel so bad how do i keep getting through each day? #i don't know how much longer i can live like this. ive already lived longer than i thought i would before i was hospitalized #but if i can't die and i can't feel better then what do i do? i can't function like this or do the things i need to do #and each day it gets harder and harder #i think i need to share some of this shit during process group tomorrow lol #i guess just about feeling stuck and like i'll never feel better and not being sure if i want to get better?

[cyberstabbing]

i hate bad and abusive parents so much. they're the reason my best friend has so much trauma and so many mental health issues. and then to kick her out? and then to somewhat reconcile like nothing happened? it's just so awful to see my best friend struggle mentally and barely (and not even tbh) make rent and Knowing that her parents won't be any help at all. like if she has to move back with her mom it's going to be okay for a while and then her mom will start drinking again and all hell with break loose. and her dad is either incredibly oblivious or just chooses to pretend like nothing is wrong while he plays house with his new family. when my best friend lived with me for 9 months after she got kicked out, even my stepdad daydreamed about going to meet her dad so he could yell at him for not taking care of his daughter. anyways now she's trying drugs with her equally unwell partner and they're not being safe and her eating disorder is getting worse. so her other best friend and i are meeting up to figure out what to do.

#and now my deal is ghosting me while i'm showing warning signs of a panic attack #i'm not going to have one but jfc i hope he texts back #i've been her friend since 8th grade and even when we drift we're the closest the other's got #other than her partner but they're a bit unstable and kind of leading her into the drug world somewhat #idk that's not to say i don't party but i try to do it in a safe way #we've talked about this and she agrees to plan ahead and not just say yea to everything and and everyone #it's just everyone around me falls into drugs or suicide attempts or both and it just feels never ending #a close friend opened up last night about her suicide attempt like ~2 years ago #and it's the same pattern. awful mental health and then heavy drug use #two of my close friends have done heroin. one got addicted #the other was on it while she was with me and i didn't even notice #it's just everywhere and everyone and there's no getting away from it #and i can handle myself but i can't control my best friend #and while she's not the only chronically and deeply depressed friend i've got #she's the one i ultimately feel complete responsibility for #and inhave no fucking clue what i'm doing #AAAAAAAAAAAA #i'm fine i just needed to vent #mine #tw drugs #tw eating disorder #tw abuse

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#'wUtS sO wrOnG aBouT tRyInG tO gEt HawAiIaNs oFf tHe StReeTs--' #'im HaWaIiAn tOo n tHiS iS wHy wE cAnT gEt aHeaD--' #girl just say youre one of the extremely few hawaiians who grew up on those islands&had the privilege not to spend any time homeless #&shut the fuck up LMAO. #there is no 'pOliTiCs' to be on the right or wrong side of LMAO we do not need an outsider haole who owns land while the bulk of OUR ppl #left on the islands is fucking homeless&we sure as shit dont need him or any of his ppl telling us how they plan on assauging that fact #WITHOUT giving up their land or their power lmao like shut the FUCK up. #tell me w/o telling me that you dont know anything about the state of homelssness in the islands lmao. #he wants to set up tiny home camps to model after the one thats been up in kakaako for years like kakaako isnt STILL home to the largest #homeless camp on oahu or like ppl who are homeless&housing insecure-- ACROSS THE NATION not just in hawaii-- havent been talking for YEARS #about why these mini camps meant to mirror homelss shelters but w/ individual rooms to give the illusion of privacy #while 'advocates&volunteers' demand ID&talk down to you&refuse to let you bring in your own items or exist according to your own schedule. #tell me w/o telling me youve never dealt w/ actual land development issues in your life lmao even w/ these terrible plans #what PLANET do the protected historic lands need to lose protection so the state can work w/ PRIVATE LAND OWNERSHIP to build these places? #'i Am HaWaIiAn--' girl shut the fuck up why should that matter to me if youre sucking haole cock&telling us were all failing #bc we wont do the same LMAO. #hope sacrificing your integrity&connection to us is worth it white supremacy will have a ball using you until you act up.

[supercantaloupe]

more than anything else right now i just feel. betrayed

#i wanna talk about me #apparently they've been talking/fighting about cutting the program since at latest the middle of last semester #which is not like #that long ago #but that's still like. two months of time i could've had to make other plans #two months of forewarning that my ideal path might not be available #back in october i wasn't as set. i was still exploring my options. i was LEANING to this one but not yet decided #and every signal i got was a green light. full speed ahead #maybe they didn't think the department was really going to be axed yet #or maybe they weren't allowed to discuss it with students. idk. #but i feel betrayed man #they pulled the rug out from under me when i was in the middle of my application. #how am i supposed to trust the uni now to help me find a way through this. #that even if we find some other program to take or if they walk back and keep the program open one more year on life support just for me #that it'll all be fine again. no more bumps in the road in the future. we promise. #it fucking sucks man. what am i suppose to do now. and how in the hell do you expect me to trust you after this.