#and the homoeroticism of hockey

[gyudons]

sidney crosby cradles teammate evgeni malkin’s helmet after he gets into a fight (darren clark, 2023) | germanic warrior looking at a roman helmet (osmar schindler, 1902)

#the parallels #and the homoeroticism of hockey #osmar schindler #art #sidney crosby #evgeni malkin #pittsburgh penguins #hockey

[savagegood]

is it the nhl or is it sean cody

#the rituals…. the- the rituals………. #collar check. is that what we’re calling it now #this is not my main team but when it comes to blatant homoeroticism i am team agnostic #montreal canadiens #cole caulfield #david savard #nhl #hockey #sports #twitter

[skeletonzimms]

hockey isn’t the most written about sport in fanfiction because the players are hot it’s because at the end of every single game they do this with their goalie

#like yes people find hockey players hot but the reason for the rpf is the homoeroticism of the sport and chemistry amongst players #i’m so confident about this too idc #sorry i saw a tiktok about students doing a study about what makes a player popular to write ff about and they looked at like statistics #and team popularity and stuff but it was mostly inconsistent #and then they said one of the other ppl in the class said they should have tried to look at objective hotness #which one that’s like impossible to measure and two i truly don’t think that has that much to do with it #like it’s a factor yes but it’s definitely not THE factor

[bluishfrog]

DNF Hockey AU

"Almost had me, but almost doesn't count, right?"

"Oh, don't worry, I will score on you soon enough."

"Invite me to dinner first."

#the inherent homoeroticism of slamming into each other #and the eternal question of “do I want to punch you or kiss you” #dnf hockey au #someone write this with me pls #bluishfrog art #dnf fanart #dream fanart #georgenotfound fanart #dreamnotfound #in honor of going to a hockey game with bee today

[sebastianstanakin]

“he’s got his weapon out, it’s cocked, he’s ready to blast” thank you pens commentators for the most homoerotic description possible of erik karlsson

#lets go pens #hockey #nhl #pittsburgh penguins #nhl penguins #penguins hockey #erik karlsson #ek65 #the inherent homoeroticism of the nhl

[garaktime]

I think if I were to ever get into a sport and I needed to pick a team, I would just go to Wikipedia, find the shittiest team with the least wins and they would be my team. Worst player on that team? That's my guy. Kinda like how I used to base my UFC win predictions on whoever I thought was friendlier looking, or the shortest.

#not trek #if i were ever to get into a sport it would be hockey i think #not that I'm into rpf but i do enjoy some homoeroticism and skating looks fun

[daenystheedreamer]

not only is theon a mullet guy but he’s the type of guy to bleach it and give it racing stripes like the high school boys who all box bleach their hair a horrible orange for their hockey playoffs in which they probably get eliminated immediately

he's SUCH a mullet guy but when asha gets one and pulls it off WAYYY better than him he swears them off entirely and gets soooo bitchy when people mention it. god he'd sooo go through a platinum blonde era. that fucking whore....

#love him 🫶 and i love u 🫶 #so vivid though in my beautiful culture (australian) its aussie rules football not hockey #they do the impossible and make football look straight by having the ugliest haircuts imaginable #and in aussie rules the players JUST wear tiny shorts and singlets and tackling is a given. so imagine how ugly their haircuts are to #ruin the sacred homoeroticism of football #ask #anonymous #theon greyjoy #in nz its rugby but the mullets are a little better here. Slightly.

[edgelordtozier]

writing multiple steddie sports au’s at once this is the future steve harrington wants

#i love u sports aus i love u detailing the deep aching dehumanizing sadness that comes with organized sports #and the homoeroticism! #baseball steve means so much to me but hockey steve…. that’s where it’s real #i love u hockey i love u hockey steve I love u my new york ranger steve harrington hc #and eddie is not also playing sports in these aus unforch. He’s allergic #:/ #steddie

[goaliekisses]

the inherent homoeroticism of hockey

#HMMMM #just wanted to press their bodies together #sidney crosby #darren helm #pittsburgh penguins #pens lb

[londonknights]

get to know you better game! answer the questions and tag people you want to get to know better

thank u @frasermints ily

last song i listened to: ‘pierre & anatole’ from natasha, pierre & the great comet of 1812. angry josh groban make rick a happy boy (also i’m seeing the musical next weekend and i’m reacquainting myself with whatever the fuck anatole and dolokhov have going on)

currently watching: house md. i am not immune to psychosexual homoeroticism. also robert sean leonard has the soft wet eyes of a baby cow and i cannot stand him. i want to punch him in the face i want to kiss him on the mouth i want to gnaw on him like a rawhide bone i want him dead i desire him carnally

currently obsessed with: various leafs AUs i will never write, and my own hockey OCs who will never see the light of day. also cranberry raspberry juice.

tagging: @butchdomi @bumperbonk @mxaether @kucherovv @sammysonov @cujoforever @donttelltheelff and anyone else who wants to!! (please tag me i love reading these)

#ask game #sorry about the rsl bit it will happen again #also to any moots who i didn’t tag who see this: #PLEASE DO IT AS IF I TAGGED U I’M JUST SCARED TO BE ANNOYING WITH TAGGING PPL #ok thanks for reading

[bulbasaur-gone-rogue]

I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT MY BLORBOS SO Y’ALL GET IT

(For reference. This is for Aiden and Lambert from the Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. All of these can be read with pretty much no knowledge. I went into these freaking blind off of… somewhere. I don’t know. I found them somewhere and went down a rabbit hole.)

I’ve been through all 58 or so pages worth of fanfiction in their tag. Lore-wise, we literally only know a name and vague affiliation on one of em. They’re my poor little meow meows. My silly rabbits.

I went through all those fics and I got like. Six recommendations. These all made me feel some kind of way, or I read them more than once. IN some ORDER!

1. Where I Stand by LadySesame.

Status: complete

Ohhhhhhh what if we were lovers and I thought you were dead and then you got dragged into my home (that I never quite had the courage to invite you back to) completely feral and with clear signs of torture and me n my bros and my (kinda shitty dad who I fight with a lot but he’s genuinely trying but also he’s fucking it up) and one of my brother’s weird boyfriend (who was kind of the only one who knew you existed and mattered to me in any way) had to figure out what the hell to do about all this. And then it gets better but worse before it gets better.

Vampire hunt flashback cool. Dynamic immaculate.

2. The Kaedwen Wolves by Kaerith

Status: incomplete, has not updated since 2021.

HOCKEY AU HOCKEY AU

Hockey aus really have it all. The banter. The rivals. The “we’re just homies. What do you mean I’m sending mixed signals.” The inherent homoeroticism of hockey. The “fellas is it gay to get in a fight on the ice so fast you forget to take your gloves off because some guy called your Good Friend over there a slur and like. I’m not gay or anything but also-”. And also men with muscles and a couple braincells but those only work occasionally. The chemistry.

This one would be tied for first but it’s still really early on and hasn’t updated in. A while.

3. Out of the Night That Covers Me by inexplicifics

Status: complete

Ough we love hurt/comfort and being kind in a world that is determined not to be. I love. Kind men with massive muscles who are so so so self-aware (but sometimes also stick their foot in their mouth real bad) And also terrifying women. I love terrifying women. Uh. Modern au. Everyone’s alive that I can think of.

4. Four Chambers by GilliganGoodfellow

Status: Complete

This one harmed me. It’s the accurate portrayal of grief. Warning for my homies. The Cat stays dead in this one. Had me wrecked for Amounts of Time

Rest of that series also bops and slaps. While I do love Complicated Feelings Towards Vesemir (he’s trying. He was part of an institution of child abuse. He didn’t have power to change anything. He was still part of it. He did the best he could. Maybe it wasn’t enough. He tried. Trying only gets you so far). Papa Vesemir ALSO has a place in my heart.

5. Denial by tnico

Status: complete

Author knows more weird little facts than I do. Scratches my brain. All of their works that I’ve read are stupidly good.

6. A Beginner’s Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code for Fun and Profit by heronfem

Status: incomplete, updating

You know.

#lambden #laiden #aiden the witcher #lambert the witcher

[exhuastedpigeon]

Inspiration Saturday & Seven Sentence Sunday

Tagged by @wikiangela @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990 @weewootruck @hippolotamus @loserdiaz and @devirnis

My NHL AU is inspired by a whole lot of homoeroticism between hockey players, but the Tim Hortons bit is inspired by a mix of a couple actual Canadian hockey players I know who are convinced (rightfully so) that Tim's is better in Canada than the states.

Also by Nathan Mackinnon and Sidney Crosby's Tim Hortons commercials and their promotional videos in general.

“You know this coffee is bad right?” Eddie asks him as they walk back to the hotel, each holding coffees and Buck holding a 20 pack of Timbits in his other hand. The cold is biting, it’s December in Ottawa after all, but all Buck can think is how he wishes it was snowing instead of just the snow already dirty on the ground.  “Okay, sure,” Buck agrees, because Eddie isn't exactly wrong. “But I once watched you drink McDonald's coffee on purpose and Timmy’s is better than McDonald's by a kilometer at least.” “God I always forget that you’re fucking Canadian,” Eddie laughs, bright and unbothered. Buck can’t help the way his stomach swoops at the sound. He’s been on the same team as Eddie for less than four months and he’s already mostly in love with the guy. It’s a fucking problem, really, but Buck can’t stop it and when Eddie looks at him all fond like he is right now, he doesn’t want to.

Tagging (no pressure) @monsterrae1 @forthewolves @eddiebabygirldiaz @spotsandsocks @rosieposiepuddingnpie @butchdiaz

#buddie #911 #buddie wip #seven sentence sunday #inspiration saturday

[willgrahamscock]

in wake of the hockey news i feel the need to tell you ur posts are insanely popular on formula 1 tumblr also. the homoeroticism prevails!!

FORMULA 1?? I never realized the power of horny posting until now

#alex answers #this is increasingly hilarious

[seattlekrakenyaoi]

talking to my mom about homoeroticism in hockey and she says “macho and gay don’t normally go together” like spoken by someone who has never read hockey rpf

[amour-anguis]

the inherent homoeroticism of hockey >>>

[erikjohnsons]

2022 avs May have won the cup but 2017-2020 avs you will ALWAYS be famous. Tyson tuesdays every week, unparalleled homoeroticism, Abject misery, truly the fucking golden years to be a hockey girlie on tumblr