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crushedsweets · 8 months

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Who are the people that Toby likes the most?

Natalie, Jack, and Ben!

Toby has known Natalie for about 5 years, and Jack for 4, and Ben for 3. ok now im gonna do long ass headcanons for their relationships bc im just soooooooo silly . .

toby and natalie knew eachother when they were at the height of like.. using murder as a relief/power trip. it was a really sick and fucked up thing to bond over, and it wasnt something either of them took lightly or as a joke. but it was something they did talk about, moreso 'let me tell you about my night' and they'd kinda just allude to the murder part of it. eventually, natalie stopped killing as much (and stuck strictly to freak weirdo men at bars/clubs who try taking advantage of ppl). toby doesn't have the luxury to stop bc he only did it when the situation/order calls for it.

they usually just lounge around together. watch trash reality tv, natalie was ashamed of her art for a while but toby loves getting her to show him her stuff. toby taught her how to axe throw and cut down trees. he helped fix up the barn she stays in so it's actually livable. he even got brian to help with shit like insulation cuz theres no heat/ac in it. sometimes he does her hair if shes having an awful night. she never had someone to brush her hair growing up, having no mother/sister/girl friends, and finds it to be insanely fucking relaxing. lulls her to sleep so quick. it reminds toby of lyra and he cried one time after she fell asleep from it. she never found out about it.

toby was the first proxy to be nice to jack. not that tim and brian were horrible to jack (only after he was . . 'tamed' i guess). but toby was the first one to like, bring him things, talk to him, actually attempt bonding. if tobys feeling lonely and natalies not in the mood to entertain, jack was almost always welcoming. ok maybe not welcoming in the like :) hiiii toby. way. but in the. 'ok yea whatever come in i guess' way.

jack used to cook a lot before he was sacrificed. now he doesnt have the same taste buds, and while he can eat human food, its all pretty bland to him. best he can enjoy is insanely spicy stuff, and thats more sensation rather than flavor. BUT TOBY. that fucking dude can EAT. he's brought like a fat steak and veggies and rice and random shit to jacks and asked him to make him dinner. and oddly enough jack was willing to do it. toby continued to do that stuff. jack didnt know about tobys CIPA for a while and was baffled when this white boy from rural colorado could actually handle the spice anytime jack made south asian food LOL.. ("how much spice do you want" "i dont care make it as spicy as you like" "toby are you sure of this" "yeah i can take it").

of the 3, toby is the least close to ben. mostly bc ben is best fucking friends w jeff and toby doesnt like jeff very much(who does?). plus toby figured ben was like a kid and wasnt exactly crazy about being besties with a 12 yr old. But then ben played some video games with him. ben doesnt really Act like an. ipad fortnite tiktok middle shcool type of kid so toby was like Oh he's cool i guess.!

they dont have much in common at all tbh, didnt have similar childhoods and toby didnt play many video games growing up. BUT toby finds so much joy in just having a fucking boyish childish fun stupid relationship where he could play video games and talk shit and eat like crap with yk. they have a very brotherly friendship and it's kinda weird for toby being on the big sibling side of something, but he's fond of it. they get into petty arguments about stupid shit, and went a while without talking bc toby punched jeff and jeff was bitching like 'uumm dont hang out with that prick' and ben was like lmfao ok. toby didnt even realize ben wasnt talking to him tho. . ("hey sorry i was avoiding u jeff was bitching" "u were avoiding me ?????")

#chatterbox #hcs #creeped #creepypasta #ticci toby #clockwork #natalie ouellette #eyeless jack #ben drowned

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justallihere · 4 days

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i'm going insane bc i was away for the weekend and left my phone alone (god bless) and came back to a whole chapter PLUS love declaration PLUS forehead kiss ?? omg.....

Mira is not letting Xaden rest like ever, I do wonder what Violet told her while Xaden was prepping her bath tho.

“Not if it bothers you, they can’t,” said Xaden. “I’ll make sure they keep it away from you.”

oh he wants violet to be comfortable so baaaad he's the embodiment of "is the sun bothering you queen" and im so here for it.

i'm totally fine and sane over xaden washing violet's hair im not kicking my feet or anything and im definetely not crying over how soft they are and how much trust must violet have on him bc she's letting him touch her hair after it being threatned to be cut.

forehead touches are my faaaav so u can imagine how well fed i am after this chapter and for that i say thank you alli *dramatically bows*

Xaden not wanting her to feel like she wasnt love so he just declares himself to her had me weak, like it could've been this grand gesture but nothing between them has ever been planned or expected so he just winged it and it was perfectly what she needed. talk about soulmates !!

when u told us the declaration was gonna hurt i didnt have this imagined in my mind but im so glad it happened this way and not the way i thought it was gonna happen. it was so bittersweet !!

ALSO she def knows she loves him shes just not ready to admit it bc in no way in hell would she ask him to say after he declared himself if she didnt know she also felt something

also the way they first slept i know xaden neck was complaining

also violet reminded me of a cat who always try to get closer in their sleep. she just wants to cuddle !! and shes so real for that

Rhiannon is truly a bestie!! not her terrorrizing the love interest we love a ride or die bestie, even if sometimes she's unresonable

“You whisked her away before anyone could check on her.”

bestie there was not one single part of her that wasnt broken what was the man supposed to do *cries* but i do understand her stress

SLOANE MAIRI !!! not her calling the king of tyrrendor her brother i love that for her !! she's a princess so true. also i looove xaden and liam's talk it wasnt too cheesy bc tbh they dont operate like that but it was so genuine !!

can the guards chill !!

Garrick is just like me!! i too love gossip and will put my hands on it as soon as i can. but garrick its been like 12 hours wait a little longer or violet herself will call u out again. but also not garrick begging xaden no rule to country and he's just like "no <3" love that for him his wife just got back running a country is very far from his mind.

“Is that what you told her to do?” Rhiannon raised an eyebrow. “Get over it?” “No, but you’re not her, are you?”

He's so ??!!

the development of violet a few chapters ago being like "he didnt hold me while we slept bc there had been no excuses for it in Aretia" to now being like "im gonna curl into your arms so hard you'll never escape" and honestly good for them !!

anywayyyy i LOVED this chapter

lol a lot happened this weekend, welcome back!!!

Xaden’s literal one and only concern is Violet and her comfort, fuck everything else. I’m totally not fine and sane about the hair washing so I guess we balance each other out 🫶🏻

They are very much soulmates!! Xaden didn’t plan to fall in love with her, of course he didn’t plan some grand declaration of it either, we’re just going with what feels right. Violet is a grumpy little kitten yes you’re right

Rhiannon is stressed as hell, like give her best friend back RIORSON where is she

Garrick needs both gossip and for Xaden to do his job and he’s getting neither of those things! Too bad so sad!

Thank you!!!! 🩷

#storm in the quiet

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qprsmackdown · 9 months

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what submissions have the most convincing propaganda: rather for being silly or being serious

hi anon. mod zazie here. i read through every single one of the submissions to answer this because i am insane. and the results are as follows ^-^

techno & phil fans are INSANE over "for you phil, the world!!" as they should be!! i, too, read bunfloras' phil & techno fics. but even if i didnt already know who emeraldduo was, you all have VERY GOOD propaganda. Immortal lifelong best friends... <3

dsmp fans i love you im holding out my hand to you in a gesture of friendship. hello. both mods are also mcyt fans and dsmp fans. we know abt characters vs ccs. we also despise cc!dream. you are safe here. im sorry that previous polls have traumatized you :((

c!tubbo/c!ranboo fans also fucking turned out you have VERY convincing propaganda

ive never read the locked tomb, know nothing of the characters, but to the submitters who sent in Camilla Hect and Palamedes Sextus youve convinced me. VERY good job. where can i find your media i need to learn more. no like fr

jrwi fans are you okay. good lord /pos. also youll be pleased to know WE HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO SUBMISSIONS OF THE GREATER MANA POLYCULE

to the etho/skizz fan who submitted an essay. hi. i think youre so right for putting them in a httyd au. very convincing propaganda. also are you okay.

hi silmarillion fans. do you need hot cocoa.

jrwi fans are literally so not normal about their guys. sorry to call you out but oh my god not a single one of you is normal /pos. its great.

not a fnaf fan but "Theyre also both canonically queer, if that helps. That has nothing to do with the lobotomies or the dying and being revived as a soulless walking corpse, though." is the sentence of all time. i hope whoever wrote that is doing well.

good evening to the homestuck fan who wrote jake & dirk propaganda so convincing that for a moment i wanted to go check out their media only to remember its Homestuck and ONLY to the homestuck fan who wrote jake & dirk propaganda so convincing that for a moment i wanted to go check out their media only to remember its Homestuck.

we've been over the jesus christ/mary magdalene submission but did you know apparently there's actual evidence to back it up? lots of it in fact? i did not expect to read that tonight (for future reference slash in case you're curious i am an atheist & cycad is christian)

the little women fan has some SERIOUS propaganda. my respect o7

hello to the autistic sp (south park) fan who wrote a genuine essay on kenny mccormick and eric cartman. wish you well (and like, we got a voltron submission as well. i dont know either of those shows/fandoms at all besides vague knowledge that they're not great but eh we're here to have fun. who cares (this is in response to you mentioning you didnt know if sp was allowed (i dont know actually youd have to ask cycad but im like 95% sure its fine (can you tell i have adhd))))

GIGOLAS FAN SPOTTED. they didnt write a lot of propaganda but HELL YEAH WE GOT SOME LOTR FANS HERE. theyre so qpr to me you dont even KNOW

i didnt even think about link/zelda being a qpr before this but you have convinced me. youre so right. they Are

besties who drink poison together STAY together!!! (merlin and arthur). fuck yeah baby!!! i have never seen merlin bbc

oh moirails are a homestuck thing i saw those in our asks and was unsure what they were

CANON QPR IN FABLE SMP? oh i need to check that out. fable smp fans ik this is a long shot but if anyone wants to give me reccomendations for where to start watching.

hiya qsmp fans. no need to worry you have turned out in both numbers AND propaganda. wowzers.

we have One submission for q!quackbur but now im wondering why no one has submitted c!quackbur. theyre literally homoeretic business rivals whose relationship could be viewed as platonic or romantic. smh

Roman and Youngblood from Roleslaying with Roman have very dedicated fans.

divorce quartet the divorced qp polycule ever but also im very biased. (both scott/cleo and scott/martyn were submitted multiple times)

we have some very fun ocs & real life qp relationships and im so here for it.

oh hey lifesteal smp i know those guys. wow damn theyre kinda fucked up arent they.

POLYARCHIVES SUPREMACY <3 BASEDBASEDBASED

POLYMECHS SUPREMACY ALSO SO BASED

Hi. Person who submitted both jesus/mary magdalene and now hamlet/ophelia. I love you. You are here to cause CHAOS and i for one applaud you for it. Can we kiss /j

#ask #not competition #mod zazie #I AM REVEALING ALL MY BIASES HERE AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT HELL YEAH THOSE ARE MY BLORBOS

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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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im OBSESSED with the idea of wlw tsot style truly genius wow

AHAHAHSAKHSDKHD!!!!! thank you, bestie! i love being a Genius!

jokes aside, last night, i was looking at the tsot concept, like really thinking hard, squinting at it like....whyyyyy....don't i like this? because idk, i personally think the tsot plot premise was badass, but maybe i am delusional, lmao -- that tracks for me. but deadass, i was like why am i not attached to this for some reason also?

...for some reason, the tsot style was never that enticing to me as a writer? and i thought it was because it was too complicated bc of the high fantasy elements...bc despite me masquerading as a genius i am a Fooking Imbecile like i am a court jester, the town FOOL...smh.

-- or even that it was...too sweet and wholesome for me??? because stan is so devoted to kyle in tsot and they are so in love. they're so cute? which is wonderful and all but i am an Angst Girlie, not in terms of reading fanfic ( yes, i do think its ironic that i write multi chapter slowburn style fanfics and only like to read fluffy oneshots where they get together at the end bc i'm impatient & cannot burn in hell )

tHEN THE SNOW DAY TRAILER CAME OUT AND I WAS LIKE????? EVIL STAN???? HEEEEELLLLOOOOOOO!!!!!! i am OBSESSED. that was an insane choice, i was so feral and i was like i need to write morally corrupted stan it's my duty as an angst queen -- which, you guys, i really think i was meant to write angst and hurt/comfort bc i was writing that lil ravesey drabble and i was like Levitating w/ energy i was so stoked omg i was having a BLAST...i love u, angst.

aN-KNEE-WAYZ! i developed that weird idea/tsot concept and i personally was fucking with it but i was still...not completely happy? and i couldn't tell why and it was pISSING ME THE FUCK OFF????

but now it makes sense...bc they are...Women, lol.

( okay, its uncle nina tsot idea info dump time! if you are rocking w/ me, ur welcome under the cut, please enjoy ur ncu toxic yuri <3 )

P.S. THIS IS VERY LONG -- VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

so i think stan...goes by stas? in the tsot universe. that just makes sense to me, i also don't want to get confused bc i've written style as boys for so long if i keep calling stas stan it will make my brain hurt. SO STAS, LOOOOL!!! which i think is short for...anastasia?

or something weirdly hyper feminine and stas hates it to death, also stassie or stasia is still 2 girlie, so she is kind of also not rocking w/ those...i like how gender neutral stas is. let me know if its not cute.

bUT ANYWAYS AGAIN!!! this post is really unhinged, it's 3 am where i am rn and i am being so crazy, i woke up being really insane abt this. so stas works at her family's inn to help her mom out w/ everything because shelley is kind of a hater and randy is...a menace to society. like when i say stas has to pull that waste of a man out of the tavern oR LIKE THE BROTHEL???? HELLO??? every goDDAMN NIGHT??? shes so mad. especially since he keeps BORROWING MONEY THEY CANT PAY BACK BC RANDY IS SPENDING IT ALL???? AND THE LOAN SHARKS ARE ABT TO FUCKING KILL ALL OF THEM?

eye...hate you so much, randy marsh. *stas vc* Burn In Seven Hells.

however, conversely, i do love stas, WHO IS AN IIIIICON!!!! a bicon if you will, she do be...lying awake having iMPUre thoughts of lying with women oodsfjodosjfpsojf, sins of the flesh lMAAAAOOOO!!!! down so bad like please get A LIIIIFE!!!!!! which she's like Trying, i see you baby!!!! but you know, she has to wear a dress ( she did steal her dads pants bee tee dubs bc its hard to run around in a long ass dress, she truly hates that shit bc its inconvenient as hell, smh ) but yeah she do be drinking plifered ale with the boys and having the worst posture and freaking burping the alphabet and being DISGUSTING????? when i tell you stas is so disgusting...smh. she is giving bean from disenchanted if anyone has seen that show like really and truly. xx

which is SO FUNNY???? because, like all my ncu stans, stas is an uncanny level of beautiful like SSSOOOOOOO PRETTY??? like it is truly INSANE, men be OOGLING her which ew so Much!!! bc A Scurb Is A Guy Who Thinks He's Fly But IS ALSO KNOWN AS A BUSTAAA!!! i think like ravenstan pre!rm boys were just kind of weirdly obsessed w/ her and trying to ask for her hand in marriage all the time like belle from beauty in the beast and she was like ahhhh hell nah KHDSLd.

also, working at the inn she has to deal with tHE MOST ANNOYING FUCKING MEN IN THE WOOOOORLD!!! they are like "you! tavern wench! fetch me some ale!" and she's like pls go fuck yourself but she's also So Nice like all my stans so she's like...Of Course, Sir.

maaaan, W!H!A!C!K!

i think like knights and stuff come and go staying at the inn and she's just like...sigh...that's so fucking COOL, wish that were me! LAME!!! like she literally is not allowed to fight bc SHES A GIRL!!! SO WHACK! she does have dreams abt it...like she does abt women and temptations of the flesh...stas...whack off or something, my GOD!!! nasty girl behavior, i am fucking crying, i love girl failure stas. Based.

i think she secretly kind of works down at the forge with tolkiens dad, btw, i think tolkiens name is...tolkien...blacksmith? lol so much guys. also !~ala pep~ they do still have a crazy rivalry...love my life. i think there is DRAMA during the Challenge Of Champions abt kylie. WHO STAS DOES NOT LIKE RIGHT AWAY BUT I DIGRESS!!!

so stas helps down at the forge bc she thinks swords are so cool. like she is obsessed and i think she makes a lot of armor and swords and stuff but she's not allowed to use them, obvi...and just has to hand them off to idiot men who should Go Die In A War lmaoooo!!! and it sucks so bad...her handiwork is beautiful, btw. i think she's made some shit that ended up at the broflovski castle they just Don't Know.

i am...talking abt this too much when i tell you i got Really Into It. so the RUFFIANS show up and they're abt to kill stas’ family but they give stas One More Day to come up with the money so she rides off ON SPARKY!!!! I LOVE YOU HORSE SPARKY!!!! to the disgraced high wizards castle who obviously...thinks stas is fucking pathetic and is like i quite literally do not give a fuck...ur whole family can choke? and is going to kill her but then...realizes stas is EXTREMELY GIFTED with the sword and is like...hm...i can use you. ;))))) lmao and stas basically has no choice bc if not they will literally slaughter her fam.

soooooo stas basically she ends up enrolled in the Challenge Of Champions which is literally so fucked??? like everyone is about to die, if i end up writing the fic, it's gonna be BRUTAL and very bloody and horrifying, just fyi, so sorry. also stas cuts her hair hella short to pass as a boy and there is a very iconique mulan-esqe montage of her stealing her dads clothes and kissing sharon on the head and riding off to an uncertain fate...leaves a crytic note or no warning? its very depressing stas...loves sharon so bad, she misses her mom. :(((

also i think when she rolls up and is in the camp w/ all the other challenge of champion competitors and contestants, they are like...so what is ur name and shes abOUT TO SAY STAS BC SHES SO FUCKING STUPID LOL I HATE MY LIFE and is like st---aaaaaan??? LOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! and does the medieval version of the nervous bisexual finger gun jazz hand combo i am in PAIN. and they are like...okay? i guess? weirdo? they do think stas is so weird that whole time, she does have a lot to prove AND SHE DOES BITCH!!!! they respect the hell out of her later bc she is WIPING THE COMP, BABY!

which, speaking of stas passing as a boy...i actually do not think she is trans like ravenstan is? i think she is just Really Masc? and likes a lot of traditionally masculine activities and having short hair and doesn't reject the idea of being a woman but thinks its stupid that She personally gets rejected and is not allowed to do things she likes because they reserved exclusively for Men! stas vs. the patriarchy! listen i think raven would fuck w/ stas so heavy she would Scare Him though, like she is Powerful for a human.

i do think she is lowkey ripped like....HEEEELLLOOOOO???

kylie get ur jaw off the floor bestie!!!! STAND UP!!!!

running joke in tkak, i think, that everyone is like...squints...u know u are...like very beautiful for a man? you are kind of the most beautiful man i've ever seen like you are honestly pretty enough to be a girl? and she's like...ahsshahhaa thank you? my mom does tell me i'm kind of like having a boy daughter sometimes...ALSO THAT MADE HER SO DEPRESSED BC SHE WAS THINKIN ABOUT SHARON AND SHE WAS LIKE WHAT FUCK I HATE IT HERE bc i think sharon thinks shes dead or something bc she rode off & just disappeared completely?

okay, moving onto kylie...i am OBSESSED with her also!!! i got a little less on her, but stas is kind of the protag rn so it makes sense? but so when i was developing tkak At First, i gave ky...Reeeeally Long Hair bc i am obsessed w giving kyle really beautiful curly long hair ( jersey my beloved please kiss me on the lips ). she also ONLY has her hair up like for most of the fanfic? in REALLY ELABORATE hairdos?

like the handmaidens do her hair every morning and put that shit up and it does take forever which is suuuuch a pain in the ass ( yes kylie do be dummy thicc like actual kyle...i actually do not think stas has to bind tbh bc shes always in the armor and the really flowy tunic and riding pants and the boots w the short ass hair ( WHEN I TELL YOU SHE IS FINE I MEAN THAT LIKE PPL DIED!!! LITERALLY!!!! )

...she also has zero boobs i gave stan no ass and i think its only fair that stas has zero boobage...but when i tell you...oh my goodness oh my damn...kylie in the corset thing w her biddies pushed up to heaven...stas is abt to throw up constantLY!!!! DOOOOOWN SO HORRENDOUS LIKE PLEASE GO TO HELL!!!!! sooo funny. i have been laughing typing this whole goddamn ask meme, i'm screaming!

stas lying awake at night in a cold sweat bc Women...jaaaaaaail smh.

speaking of women, kylie is like 100% a lesbian like it just tracks bc all my kyles are super mega gay. people don't know about it, they only know that she hasn't taken a husband yet and that her dad keeps trying to set her up with these stupid ass idiot men from other kingdoms and she quite literally drives them away bc shes so SCARY. all my kyles are so scary, kylie is no exception like they call her the tempest bc she is literally so frightening. men run away screaming.

tbh gerald is so serious about her being princessy and hidden away in the castle...when i was developing tkak again and i gave ky the long hair and gerald was constantly having it put up with no exceptions like she is not allowed to be seen by anyone w her hair down? and i was like is it bc kyle...just has long hair and is kind of a little femme? idk? but LISTEN IT ALL MAKES SENSE TO ME NOW BECAUSE ITS ACTUALLY BC GERALD THINKS KYLES MERIDA HAIR IS UNBECOMING OF A WOMAN AND HES A MOTHERFUCKER AND MAKES HER CONFORM THE STANDARDS OF BEING REFINED.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! IS ANYONE ELSE SCREAMING???

oof...the day stas sees kylie w/ her hair down...the homoeroticy...its gonna be so crazy, the tension is going to be so intense omg.

okAY SPEAKING OF THE TOXIC YURI TSOT STYLE...they do hate eachother. kylie specifically hates humans bc sheila is dead in tkak..smh...she was also killed by humans...so kylie HATES humans. she is also really spoiled and coddled and Baby. and stas is tough and worked for everything in her life and is hard as a motherfucker i love you so bad stas...she's so cooooooolll!!! but yeah they bicker a lot. btw...kylie is short in the ncu tsot and stas is tall like i think there is a whole dialogue where stas is like i just never thought that the princess of all kingdoms who possesses all that power would be soooo....and kylie is like? enchanting? radiant? ravishing? beautiful? and shes like...Little. KHDLKHDSLK LOOOOOL IM CRYING HELP.

i am talking so much i'm so sorry guys but i said the tsot toxic yuri was like mulan and it so is...its also like Tangled, which are the two best disney movies which fuck you so much disney! free palestine!

but i digress again and i will explain myself because you know how i am; i do not put anything out unless i feel strongly about it. so kylie does not want to engage in ~Princessy Stuff~ mostly bc its whack and she is not trying to belong to a man like Property? but its also because...She Wants To Be A Doctor. <3333

i was thinking too hard about ship in a bottle kyle being the ships sawbones and pep kyle ripping stans throat open to save his life and i was like...doctor!kylie! but obvi...its very frowned upon...women cannot be doctors...Princesses Cannot Be Doctors. she also is nooot allowed to leave the palace bc of sheilas assassination, aaaaalso bc shes a woman...are we sensing a theme here? men suck.

but okay, so stas passes pretty well for a man...also her voice is really raspy and husky WHEEEW ONE CHANCE STAS!!! but obvi when kylie finds out stas is a girl, she says something funny like By Gods! By All The Seven Hells You Are Woman! and stas is like oooooooooofffffffff!!! pleeeease don't send me to the gallows i can explain ( she cannot explain she is supposed to kill kylies dad ) but kylie is like...i will let you live...Human Girl...on one condition...( stas is like u have to be fucking shitting me bc like this is the second time this shit has happened to her...smh ) anYWASAYS!!! kylie is like on one condition...u sneak me past the palace walls and let me see the outside world.

aGAIN STAS HAS NO CHOICE so she's like...Sigh...okay. and i think they have a wizard friend in the castle who charms kylie to look like a boy ( respectfully my ladyship she is so Well Endowed in the chest area and very femme so she cannot pass as a boy like stas can...rip so sorry ) so she can sneak out and not get caught BUUUT!!! the magic only lasts so long so she has to be back like within the hour? stas takes kylie to kupa keep at some point and its...very cute. pls clap.

LAST THING THIS IS THE VERY LAST THING I SWEAR YOU GUYS! so it's called to kill a king bc stas is supposed to kill gerald and not kylie which...stas does avoid asking abt it later bc shes in love with her i hate my life...but its bc she cannot ascend the throne bc shes a girl. again, i hate everything. choke and die gerald. WHICH WITH ANY HOPE!!! HE WILL!!!! MAYHAPS! but cartman is like nahhh i do not rlly care abt killing her she's not a threat?

but then she IS A THREAT bc she's getting in the way of the assassination attempt and stealing the piece of the stick of truth cartman needs to be all powerful and evil so cartman is like just kidding ur gonna have to kill her bestie, she's pissing me off. so he has stas...SLOWLY POISON HER??? w/ some kind of mushroom concoction that goes in her daily tea? and kylie is like oh! thank u stanley...but i think she knows stan is stas at that point bc theyre friends mayhaps...BUT ITS SLOWLY MAKING HER SICK. which is hard to notice bc its really slow to avoid suspicion, kylie is also super chronically ill...she has some sort of Illness the whole fic that makes her kind of weak and frail even tho her mind is strong to mimic kyles diabetes in sp? BUT OOOOOOF I HATE MY LIFE EVERYTHING SUX.

anyways for the 7934709324 time! STYLE TOXIC YURI!!!!

what do we think gayng??? are we rocking w it? *sweats*

-uncle nina, who has to stop coming up w/ crazy au ideas

p.s. i might...accidentally misgender stas and kylie or use stan or kyle by accident when answering questions...if i get them...bc i'm so used to my styles being masculine and boys. so if y'all could be patient with me, i'd really appreciate it bc *stas vc* I Am Only Human.

#I TALKED SOOOO MUCH ABOUT THIS #i went crazy stupid i fucking love the toxic style yuri sm #as a crazy bisexual bitch who wants a scary wendy testaburger gf this thrills me so much ( i fumbled airport girl so bad dont look at me )#i love stas and kylie so much #also i hope we like my weird stas name choice i refused to have her go by...*wretches* sh*n or sh*nnon bc its rm!stans deadname #actually hideous its also not that cute #i think stas is cute and also its four letters like stan <3 #fair warning she does have to go by stan like most of the fic which is whack but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do #which is assassinating the king of all kingdoms #and his annoying but mega fine daughter #when i tell u stas is down so bad like bestie my eyes are up here!!! i am crying she b losing her train of thought often #she do be getting whacked in the face by her lance and walking into walls STARING...go to jail stas...horny girl max security dungeon #BUT ANYWAYS DO WE THINK THIS IS COOL I THINK THIS IS SO COOL I AM SO FUCKING STOKED ON IT #me: BY THE GODS!!! WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS #i'm sorry if this was way too much information i got really excited i hope u are also hooked and excited #UNCLE NINA TSOOOOOOOOT

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anonbinaryweirdo · 4 months

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HI !! i feel like we shld get to know each other more outside of what weve already told each other sooo-

im filipino !! sometimes i use taglish (tagalog + english) when speaking <3 m a lot more fluent in english tho ;; i loveee all shades of blue, specifically periwinkle (its so pretty……..), n i also love pokemon, kny, n mha :3 (rlly hate their fanbases tho. i have. words. about them.) i have several phobias, some of them pretty weird to have as a 16y/o 😭 its uh,,, stairs, dolls, tight spaces, tiny holes, clowns, darkness n the smallest problems cause me a lot of distress… (yesterday i couldnt use spotify abroad for more than 2weeks n i was panicking for like 15 minutes until i was able to change my location 😭) i watch a lot of matpat (namely film theory n game theory), n coryxkenshin !! a few poketubers here n there (mandjtv, patterrz n pm7) but these two r who i watch mainly <3

omg

i only know English BUT I'm learning German :D (I haven't seen Duolingo in months but i can pick up on things fast)

my attention span and memory is... phew. I also tend to have a short fuse but I'm very patient and I can control myself I promise pls don't run away from me. also my first instinct when someone does something to upset my friend is to get physical (and if it's through screen I can argue for hours. one of my teachers+ bestie said I could run for something (governor, president, etc.. I forgor)

green. i love greens I love them all sm. I like earthy colors but green <333

i curse... a lot :D

i also watch a lot of matpat !! I'm also an 8bitryan (my comfort YouTuber fr) and Kubz Scouts enthusiast 🫶🏽

i also like kny and mha !! Nezuko n Kaminari my loves <3 (t.. the fanbases.......//neg)

I'm typically calm in situations most of the time, save for when I'm not going feral and committing arson on this very blog

I'm not scared of much? probably adults that are over 25 but other than that nothing IMMEDIATELY comes to minspiders.

I use endearments a lot !! despite being the (so far as I know) second youngest of all my mutuals I call (as long as I know they're comfortable with it) a lot of them "baby," chances are I'll use platonic endearments on you too out of habit so lmk if this makes you uncomfortable <3

i love kids 🫶🏽 I helped raise a few and I was/am a babysitter,, love them just as much as I love dogs

i like. i like to ramble and rant (as you're seeing rn). don't let me find out we have a similar interest AND you allow rambling I'll go crazy real fast. speaking of I hyperfixations I fixate on a lot of things at the same time sosjksj(rihh now its mainlty Hamilton and Genshin)

i can't remember much (like. birthdays, names, dates, or anything you might have told me two seconds ago. i probably zoned out or it just flew past my head) but I do (try to) remember small details about people :D

I am. not on any medication for adhd so I go insane on here. a lot. my thoughts are js.. if I think it I say it and THEN think about what I've said AFTER I say it and bang my head against the table in shame

i like collecting leaves

i also like women but I mean I guess men are attractive too

#theres. more i wanted to put #but im. im rambling.#❓ get to know oli

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melancholycatastrophe · 8 months

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Only Friends Ep. 5 Thoughts

spoilers

not even two minutes in and someone is trying to kill ray, its not looking good out here

nick interrupting the raysand handjob is so wild because sandnick knows that top cheated on mew and they know mew and ray are friends and theyre just not gonna say anything to ray, thats crazy

the raysand and topmew dates are so cute i just know this isn't gonna last

sidenote: that wasn't actually topmew being cute, it was forcebook. the only way i can keep myself sane is by pretending its just forcebook

sand dressed the way i want to dress im going insane he's my favorite kind of boy: guitar player, rock and indie fan, leather jackets, anger issues, homoerotic tension with men - if ray doesn't want him I'll keep him

NOOOO MEW NOT THE GLASSES

top fixing mew's glasses 😭 he's too fine to be such a scumbag

mew's prescription is -5.00, he's just like me fr

am i tripping or is mew now hyperaware of every time top talks to another man because he thinks that they're all ex-hookups or top might hook up with them after? like what was that look when the server gave top the bill?

IS THIS BITCH--? IS NICK CHANGING THE WAY HE DRESSES AND GOING TO THE GYM IN ORDER TO LOOK MORE LIKE TOP AND GET BOSTON'S ATTENTION????? BOY STAND UP PLEASE DONT BE LIKE TOP PLEASE

bostonnick in the pool just reminded me of that one kinnporsche pool scene im sorry i was hoping they would have sex in the pool

also -- diversity win! the lying backstabbing guy who is playing with your feelings and ruining his friendgroup believes in safe sex!

another thing that intrigues me: does boston even like his friends? cuz we've seen all four of them together and having fun, and they look to get along well if you ignore everything happening in the background, but individually? has boston hung out with or just simply had a normal convo with anyone? mew has with ray and cheum, and im starting to believe that boston hates mew for something that happened in the past or is really jealous, but does he hang out ray and cheum just one on one? because at this point it feels like the only person boston talks to is nick, which is.... idk I'm just so curious as to how the raymewbostoncheum friend group came to be

also the fact that he's not even interested in the hostel. the only people we've seen truly working on it are mew and cheum, mew possibly because if it fails he loses his place as top student, idk why but cheum is a business major so she probably has some vested interest in this project. i'm assuming ray is a buisness major because of his dad and even tho it's technically his project - as boston points out - i doubt he wants to work in that field

"I don't want to sleep around anymore. I want to have sex with someone I can talk to and be affectionate with" boston the word you are looking for is boyfriend. you want a boyfriend, and nick is right there (for some reason)

instead of being called only friends, this show should be called "getting cockblocked by all your friends" because this is getting ridiculous. first raysand, then raysand again, then bostonnick, and then raysand again

the way mew wants his friends to be in serious relationships is soo......cute, but also funny that he's over here rooting for his friends meanwhile he keeps top in a situationship like bestie look in the mirror

also i will chew on concrete if boston only dislikes mew because of top oh my god its never that serious over dick

ray please stop talking to that girl omg summer is too pretty to be involved in whatever the fuck you and your friends have going on, give her to me

that concert scene makes me miss brightwin idk

atp I'm gonna assume that every guy who looks at top has fucked him unless proven otherwise cuz this is getting ridiculous

ah fuck....mew has fallen for top..... but anyway this confirms mew is probs demiromantic and demisexual

not the debt collectors 😭 is it really a rich x poor storyline if there's no debt collectors?

sand's mom owns....the go go club....i'm.....oh my god thats why he was there in episode like 2

ray singing sand a love song for his birthday oh be still my beating heart

not mew calling boston to tell him that he's ready to have sex with top 😭 bestie i get that he's your friend with the most sexual experience and you dont want to tell ray cuz he had feelings for you but oh my god why did you tell ton??????

but also "I'm afraid if I don't have sex with Top he'll get bored of me" after seeing so many people check out Top that day.....Mew is finally at a point where he has romantic feelings for Top and its probably for the first time ever and he doesn't want to let him go so he'll have sex with him, he's so real honestly I relate to him a stupid amount

also...okay wait....so is the friendship between bostonmew one-sided or is top truly the reason why their friendship will crumble in the future? cuz mew calls boston about top for reassurance and boston reassures him for some reason....

out of context topmew is cute.....oh their break up is gonna be awful

their first time having sex was so sweet and tender but i know damn well this wont last

ray and his mommy issues back at it again

sand distracting ray from drinking more by sharing personal details about his life....oh......oh....

sand was named after the place his mom and dad had sex oh my god....

ray's mom 🤝 ray

suicidal and alcohol addicts

"Only Cockblocked By Your Friends" the series strikes again!!!

it just hit me that they're eating weed cookies.....

also... "sand, this isnt your usual stuff?" does this mean sand sold ton drugs before or....?

ray keeps saying he and sand aren't dating and its breaking both mine and sand's heart

bostonnick and raysand drinking and partying together doesnt sit right in my heart....somehow someone is gonna say something bad while high

"even if you really like ray, i doubt it would work out between you two" whelp there it is

boston for the love of god shut the fuck up so we can have happy raysand and topmew please stop telling everyone and their mother that ray is in love with mew so that he can move on oh my god please its only episode 5 i need some happy moments between the two couples a little longer please

why is ton airing out all of ray's dirty laundry why is he doing the things that he does he's so messy i love it

well......ray and boston are probably not friends anymore

boston is too fine to be acting like this

now that I'm thinking about it....were boston and ray ever friends or were they just in the same friend group? cuz back in like episode one he was the one who was supposed to take care of ray when he was drunk and didn't so, like....

that last scene with sandray is sad and all but I'm too distracted over the fact that they're sleeping without blankets covering them

WAS THAT RAYMEW FIGHTING IN THE PREVIEW NO I CAN TAKE EVERYTHING BUT RAYMEW FIGHTING STOP DONT DO THIS TO ME

#only friends the series #only friends spoilers

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stargazer0001 · 2 months

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there is something deeply wrong with me but I dont know what it is

like bestie im not talented im traumatized. Im not wasting a gift im trying to keep myself from plunging a knife in my chest and bleeding out in my bed. Like void, please shut the fuck up.

but then when other people vent to me, even if I TRY to care, I just dont. Like im sorry. I want you to feel better. But wtf am I meant to do. Like sorrows, sorrows, but I cant even deal with my own emotions what makes you think I can help with yours???????? And then I TRY. I TRY to help knowing that I cant, I TRY to care even though I dont, I TRY to make it known that I want them to feel loved and cared for, but nothing works. And then I feel like a piece of shit who deserves to rot away in a corner for all eternity!!!

Oh and speaking of rotting away, SCHOOL. I can't pay attention. Like if its not interesting I just zone out and start questioning my reality. And then im like 'wtf are we doing now'. Its actual torture what. And when I TRY to pay attention and actually LEARN I literally just end up drawing on my paper or my mind starts to wander. BUT THEN THE FUCKING THINGS MY TEACHERS ARE SAYING MAKE NO SENSE!! LIKE GIRLIE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT TO DO IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME THROUGH A THOROUGH STEP MY STEP PROCESS HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS. And then I DONT SPEAK UP BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER HAVE MY HAND CHOPPED OFF THEN SPEAK TO A TEACHER. Like. Then, everyone else seems to immediately understand everything?? Some people talk back to teachers??? Some people WANT to talk to teachers??? Who are you and how. Oh and then my classmates??? Literally horrible. I want them to die. Thankfully i have a couple friends in my classes which makes it a bit more bearable, but NO KEENAN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS, STOP DANCING AND SCREAMING, STOP BEING SO UNBEARABLE, STOP BEING A DICK. LIKE DUDE I BET YOU DONT EVEN GOT ONE. LITERALLY STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE. And its this one certain friend group who is actually the WORST. Like im TRYING to pay attention and then all of a sudden one of these kids starts yelling at another, stuff is thrown, and nothing gets done. BUT THEN THE TEACHERS DO NOTHING. THEY DONT CARE. BUT THEN WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE TALKS EVEN ONCE ITS IMMIDIATELY PRINCIPLES OFFICE???? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST KILL ME.

oh and then out of school isn't even better at all. I just want to waste away in my room. Everything always hurts and I just want to be with friends but I know that nobody can or wants to hang out with a sad waste of oxygen like me. And then when im trying to go to bed I just hear the crashing of glass, my parents having a screaming match, and then my mom going back to drinking her sorrows away while my dad continues to try and sleep. Like please im so tired just let me go into my happy place and attempt to die in my sleep. And then whenever its even around 6:00 my mom immediately starts acting drunk even if she's had nothing so what the fuck is up with that. And then she tries to gaslight me into doing things??? Like at this point im immune. I dont even give any fucks anymore because I tried doing that and it just got me hurt. So why even care anymore. So what the fuck is the point in trying to live laugh love when I just wanna off myself. Like no. Die cry hate is my new motto at this point.

and then, to top it all off, if I try venting ANYTHING to the one person I know who understands, he just asks 'oh, is it your time of the month?'

like please just kill me at this point. Take me out of the hell called living. Im so close to just dying please help.

#vent #holy fuck this is long but I needed to just get this out #i know I shouldn't vent online but I have nobody to talk to this about and I dont got any bottles left to put this in #Star.TXT document #pleease dont be concerned abt me its just me being not okay again #its just this time i posted about it

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sadhorsegirl · 7 months

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been more quiet on here for season 2 bc a) im drastically more employed this time around (rip) b) it felt like so much of my opinion of events in this season were going to hinge upon where everything landed in the finale.

tbh i also ended up being p critical of certain elements this season and didn't feel like spoiling anybody's fun while the show was still airing new episodes. a lot of my opinions of this season were shaped by the fact that i started reading the books. i am a firm believer in allowing for necessary changes when making an adaptation and allowing it to evolve into its own thing so it also felt kind of shitty to be like. she (the books) wouldn't say that!!!! lol

anyways lol i've decided to make a little list of things i enjoyed, things i thought were mid, and things i actively disliked this season

LIKED:

a) new mat! i thought his performance was really strong and just about everything they did with him this season made me appropriately sad. bonus points for making his dynamic with min reading like a frat boy and a begrudging grad student going on a bar crawl together as "repayment" for tutoring lol

b) elayne! again i thought ceara coveny did a really good job and i liked how she fit into relationships with the other characters.

c) nynaeve and the liandrin of it all! nynaeve's arc this season was one of the strongest this season imo, and i think using liandrin to discuss the culture of abuse present in the tower was smart.

d) egwene and madeleine madden!! emmy campaign begins now!!! episode 6 was one of my favorite episodes of the season in large part due to her performance. the damane arc is truly harrowing stuff and the entire creative team handled it pretty well

c) moiraine telling lan that he was always her better in the finale!!! insanely unfortunate that this is pretty much my only Moiraine Moment without major qualms this season!!!!!!!!!!!!

d) the forsaken! their business casual swag had me laughing every time. could not stop myself from shouting w at the tv screen when mogehdien showed up at the very end

e) the ef5 reuniting in the finale! im totally fine with how this changes the ending in the books. sure i missed the giant fire battle in the sky but i gained all the besties going squad mode+elayne not introducing herself with her royal title to rand lol

MID:

a) lan and moiraine bestie devastation battle - i didn't outright hate all of this from the start like some people have but i def think this ended up severely fumbled in terms of execution. one of my fav moments in the books so far has been their fight in the second one where she basically says the most upsetting shit possible to upset him to get him to admit that he has found a new connection that could lead to an actual life (aka nynaeve) and he calls her on it but still gets upset and proves her point anyway! would have preferred moiraine went even more jigsaw emotional torture trap this season tbh

b) nynaeve's accepted test - mostly liked, felt like they didn't quite hit the right tone of dread these tests achieve in the books. its not completely a "i dreamed up a family that isn't real and now i have to abandon them" thing for me and more about how they don't understand why you have to leave them and beg you to stay. feel like this could have been more emotionally powerful

c) verin - meera syal obviously a very talented actress and she did grow on me as the season went on but i feel like she was almost TOO charismatic in a way. wanted her to be a little colder/wryer? she could definitely be charming in the books but i always felt like a lot of her power socially came from getting people to underestimate her by acting like a distracted and disconnected weirdo only to go in for the kill. missed this a bit this season

DISLIKED:

a) literally pains me to say it but.....moiraine's arc this season really didn't hit for me...felt kind of unfocused....wished she had been even more brutal in her pursuit....liked the start of her washerwoman era but it didn't really end up liking much of what came after......poor execution of what could have been a really interesting exploration of both her backstory and the way she would have to change the way she operates without the one power.....etc etc

b) cairhien :( could and probably will make a whole separate post about this but the design principles at play here were Not It for me at all. rococo? rococo bro? also don't like the way its political elements and lore were communicated which leads me right to......

c) house damodred/laman. major book spoilers ahead but thought it was a complete misfire to hold off on explaining laman's whole deal and moiraine's connection to it presumably until next season to parallel it with the aiel. cairhien is inherently shaped by the aiel war and moiraine is made a far more compelling character when u learn about her relationship to it thru her family. i thought the switch in birth order was interesting but basically every other change or delay in her backstory was a flop for me. her whole connection to trying to undo the sins of her own family makes her drive to save the world way more interesting!!! was hoping the show would take the time to expand on her relationship with elayne not (at this point seemingly) erase it. are u telling me i don't get galad now? be serious?

d) moiraine and lan's suicide conversation in episode 7. felt awkward and nearly too direct without acknowledging the fact that moiraine's dedication to The Work above all else is in some ways defacto suicidal

c) episode 7

d) siuan :((((((((((((( i get that we didn't have sophie around as much as she needed to be this season bc of contracts to other shows and stuff but man did we mismanage the time we did get with her lads....will prob also make a separate post about this as well but i do want to say that while i think her and moiraine having a major split over what to do with rand could have been interesting i think the execution is really REALLY poor here. think that confrontation would have been more emotionally powerful if they were just appealing to each other and the fourth oath wasn't used. wish people had been gossiping about what she was up to off screen so we had more context for her actions this whole season generally. L's all the way around

e) episode 7. again.

f) thought it was fucked that when lan and moiraine reestablished the bond again neither of them even brought up how he has to share any heartbreak she has over siuan now. another miss for full emotional impact

g) episode 7. AGAIN.

#just my little opinions don't mind me just me and my little opinions!!#i think i got everything down lol but there was a lot that i had to think/say about this season #might turn into an even longer winded ramble to get through it all #sucks that they kind of undercut my emotional investment in the show entirely sucks that it will impact how i feel about it while waiting #for season 3 #no im not sure if the compulsion theory will fix things #wheel of time #wot season 2 spoilers #wot book spoilers #mostly tagging it for myself so i can find this post later but also tagging spoilers just in case

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noxiatoxia · 1 year

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tell me about hikaharukao

ANON IM SORRY THIS TOOK 20000 YEARS TO ANSWER but i've just been staring at it and thinking. how do i respond. because believe it or not this is hard for me to answer.

because i really really like hikaharukao but my view on it is?? so complicated. because okay. i do not like hikaharu. i've made a long ass rant before on why i (respectfully) do not like it and thing narratively they're better as friends. i def get why people like it it's just not for me. and also besides not liking it for Narrative reasons I'm also petty and don't like it on the basis this kinda makes Kaoru alone kjdbehjfbreh (it's anime i'm allowed to be petty) (which is funny because i like kaoharu???? fuck hikaru i guess)

ANYWAYS hikaharukao....... so. ok it's not secret i love hikakao and i've already said i like kaoharu. so let me try to explain how i think hikaharukao works.

(side note hikaharukao is the whole reason this answer on my shipping chart exists)

(MILD NSFW)

Firstly my headcanons for the characters' sexualities n stuff play a big role in this. Haruhi is bisexual/placiosexual + grayromantic, Kaoru is biromantic homosexula, and Hikaru is homoromantic bisexual.

So, the best way I can put it is they are all qpps who fuck sometimes. but like. its mostly hikaru and kaoru doing Unholy things and haruhi is just There sometimes but not really In It (because I headcanon she doesn't like being touched in most cases). she contributes sometimes but it's very hands-off. or at least she'll touch them but they are not allowed to touch her.

as per my headcanon Hikaru is into her sexually but not really romantically and vice versa for Kaoru. altho haruhi is barely a woman as much as she is a man so it gets a Little Confusing there. But it usually goes by those rules.

yeah best way I can put it is that they are a group of bestiiiies with benefits sorta. i dont think they call each other bf/gf so they are mistaken as friends as often as they are lovers. im sure half of the strangers outside of ouran school who know them Haruhi is just dating One Dude who has a wildly different personality depending on the day you catch him.

you could also view this as a "kaoharu + hikakao they are just sharing kaoru" which i think is true in a way. i mean if you throw in a massive hikaharu brotp in there so it's like kaoru/haruhi half-dating, hikaru/haruhi besties, hikaru/kaoru my lawyer has advised me not to say anything further.

but as said haruhi is grayromantic so like she isn't really DATING either of them. it's weird. like i said just a group of bestiiies <3 (also i have a complicated viewing on hikakao in general too so i dont think THEYRE dating either. like this is just "normal" to them)

now you may say "noxia you sound insane" and "noxia what do these labels mean" and also "noxia did i mention you're insane" and yes yes i know. but listen. i have no clue how else to explain it. all i know is i like hikakao but i wish haruhi was there sometimes. also i think haruhi has a great dynamic with both twins and they would watch cinderella together :) kaoru is talking at 100mph and hikaru and haruhi are leaning backwards to blink morse code at each other. they go to the mall later and hikaru and kaoru are fucking it up and haruhi must reign them in like they are dogs. kaoru and haruhi having a very chill thoughtful discussion about some book they read in a bookstore and then hikaru rounds the corner with "they have EVERY warrior cat book here" and kaoru and haruhi are like "omg every single one ?" this is how i view them.

#;noxiatalks2ya #ohshc #hikaharukao #THIS IS THE BEST WAY I CAN PUT IT...

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jilliancares · 2 years

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omg hi I was just reading one of ur recent spideypool fics and saw the author name and went 😳 bc I realized- OMG HEY ITS JILLIAN !! JILLI-BEAN !! We were besties for a minute when we were little (8/9), my dad used to call you that 😭 anyway ive read a bunch of ur spideypool fics and some of ur old drarry ones and I just realized it’s you and now im embarrassed but wanted to say I L-O-V-E your fics 🫣💗💜💕🧡💓❤️💞

WHAT 😭😭 okay please come off anon so i can know who you are LMAOOO that's insane!!!!!! also EEEE i'm glad u like my fics and that we both somehow ended up here???? asldkfja seriously pls come off anon i'm dying of curiosity ALSDKFJALKDF

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weneedhelp · 3 months

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YES MAAM STORYTIME

SAY LESS. also warnings: i’m gonna mention alcohol and a house fire so read w caution 🫶😀

okay so the story takes place late july, around the time of my birthday. backstory for context: my first love from hs came to my birthday party my friends threw for me at my house and we were drinking (i’m of age but DRINK RESPONSIBLY!!) and mind you he has a gf and we went to his car where he kissed me and blah blah we hate state named boy. anyway so the next day after my party this ex of mine from hs and i were texting and im obv sober now and i’m like do you wanna talk about it?? bc yk he has a gf and he told me i’m pretty much forgetful 😀 and yeah that was my final straw being sorry for myself (context: up until that point 15 y/o me was still in love w who he was when we were kids and seeing him after so long showed me who he is now and respectfully,, i hate him.) anyway,, so i was like i’m gonna download a dating app to get over myself bc who wants to be sad over some douche bag who cheats on his gf just to kiss his hs sweetheart??

and i did just that and at the time where i was living i had roommates that i was close w one was a childhood friend (who i now know was obsessed w me and is insane) and they were hyping me up yk? so i made my profile and he (my bf) was one of the first 3 people to message me and i kid you not his first message (mind you i put in my bio i’m a mom bc i’m being up front) was ‘you got kids?’ I WAS LIKE WHO TF SAYS THAT 😭😭 nevertheless we chatted and he asked me what i wanted here and i sent a whole mf paragraph about what i was looking for and this man said “so fwb?” I WAS LIKE CAN HE NOT READ?? and then he told me he wanted something more serious and i was like okay?? doesn’t pertain to me?? and he send me his snap but told me to find where that goes and ofc i go to insta bc that’s what i use the most and ofc i was wrong so i added him on snap and HE CALLED ME I WAS SPOOKED WHO TF CALLS SOMEONE ON SNAP YOU HAVENT MET?? this man of mine i tell you.

so he calls me and he’s on his way over and i shower and i stay on call w him till he arrives and he gets out his car and i’m like DEAR LORD HES SO FUCKING CUTE maybe i was touch deprived but i was giggling. GIGGLING. and we go to my room and watch the nun (he’s scared of scary moves and those are my jam so we laughed about that and we watched the movie and the first fire alarm goes off so i go to check tf was happening and 2/3 roomies said there was a small fire they put out in the garage (i’m not gonna explain rn bc its too much to type 😭) and then i go back to my room and we watch the movie and the second one goes off and my roommate who was childhood bestie said get out the house so we do so and my garage was ablaze i tell you 😃

so i tell him if he wants to leave he can bc this doesn’t happen everyday and he said i kid you not ‘rn i’m more worried about you so i’ll stay to make sure you’re okay’ HELLO I WAS DOWN IMMEDIATELY. he moved his car and i leaned against it and he held my hand and rubbed my back while i was shaking crying and after the fire department left we all went back inside and it was a mess there was ash and soot everywhere and i took another shower and since he worked that same morning. IN A FEW HOURS he stayed over and i didn’t sleep til he left, we finished the movie and he slept maybe a hour and a half and i bid him goodbye and i went to sleep. HE CALLS ME ON HIS LUNCH BREAK I KID YOU NOT and it woke me up so i answered and he was w a coworker and asked me what i was doing for the day. i was like. cleaning up my house 😭so he said if i get an break from cleaning up if i wanted to go to a movie w him?? HELLO?? FIRST DATE MUST BE ROMANTIC RIGHT??

so it was so last minute so we went to see Oppenheimer and i didn’t know anything about the movie but i’m a history nerd so we get there and we’re in the front row like where handicap seats are for those who need them. that’s where we at 😭but it was just us two and a bunch of space so like an hour in he’s gone,, snoozing w his head on my shoulder 🥹 and yeah bc i was confused as to what timeline we were in around ww1 and 2 so i took a 30 min nap MAX and woke up and tried to watch the rest of the movie and the power went out. AT THE NEAR WND OF THE MOVIE IT WENT OHT. our movie started at 7,, power went out 10 minutes after 10pm. THE WHOLE THEATER WAS PISSED so i woke him up and we went back to my house and he waited 3 weeks of basically spending every night at my house to ask me out,, but he met my kid the day of his birthday (the baby’s birthday) and that night after midnight we drove to the beach and he took a polaroid pic of us and wrote it i’d date him on it 🥹 and we had gotten ice cream and soda to make floats and candy and we were listening to music in my car and there’s a song i played for him and told him this particular part reminded me of him and it’s this is how you fall in love by jeremy tucker & chelsea cutler and it’s her opening verse where she says ‘what’s easy is right, my mothers advice, you are the reason i never think twice’ and THIS MAN SEARCHED UP THE LYRICS ON GOOGLE. HIGHLIGHTED IT AND TOOK A SC. i wanted to cry,, i wanted to marry him then and there. and now i have two polaroids in my car, one of my first day back to work after the garage fire bc it was only slightly damaged and no one was physically harmed so work had to be done and as i’m leaving he says “wait, smile!” and i was like 🙂 and he took a pic and i wrote on it “his name pov : smile!” and the one of us the night he asked me out. so if you really think about it august is important for me bc it’s loki day on one day, the next is esa day, the next is baby day and the next is his day w me 🥹

#lilac takeover 🫶

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showerbong · 5 months

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At least Seth offers me a cigarette when we finally pop out the door just like I knew he would. He's the kind of person who seems to get self-conscious of his own vices and needs to drag others into the mire to justify himself. Also, he believes in chivalry, has mommy issues, and clings to a vaguely-defined ethical code likely born out of a strict, non-denominational Christian upbringing. He's from one of the Carolinas. I can never remember which one.

I smoke the Lucky Strike first so as not to reveal to Seth that I have weed, and to get as agitated as possible by the upper before allowing myself the ultimate blissful release of the downer. Edging like this is basically the entire Catholic ideology. The more miserable you make yourself while you're alive the harder you'll jizz yourself for Jesus when you finally croak. All Sunday school did for me was turn me into a bisexual with a bad attitude and a compulsion to continually up the ante in order to enjoy anything. Bong Hits for the Lord.

If I was writing a sexy murder mystery for moms who lunch instead of a deceptively simple campus novel for Ivy League rejects, now would be the perfect time to drop in a line like " 'The French call it petit mort...' Estelle thought, fingering the stem of her wine class and staring into her own tiny reflection in the liquid's burgundy surface. 'Little death." In the story, Estelle is a travel/lifestyle/true crime writer in her early 20s who works for The Cut and is staying in a stone villa in Croatia while she investigates the mysterious death of a young TikTok star after a cliff-jumping-gone-wrong incident in Dubrovnik was caught on Live.

"I'm trying to capture the real interiority of young people, you know? But like, in a sincere way. I just think it's important to like push the canon to a place where real normal guys feel safe being in touch with their inner selves. It's so hard to do it but like Hull said in class, I think I'll get there. I'm so glad that Hull has this faith in the project. He really has an insane knowledge of human behavior. Any time anyone talks in class I bet he's psychoanalyzing them in real time."

Seth's continuing to talking at me about Modern American Realism and employing free indirect discourse more for the next workshop installment of his novella. He's also writing a campus novel. And for the record, I've been working on mine for twice as long. For some reason Prof Hull keeps saying Seth's novella is like so class-conscious. Usually when my installments get discussed in class the feedback is always fluffed up by personal anecdotes and seems to revolve around my unreliable narrator's juvenility.

I just think it's funny how up until last semester Seth was a libertarian, and also, he's never actually had a job before this part-time academic writing TA gig, meanwhile I have been getting wage-thefted at dead end jobs ad infinitum since 2009. I think he was 8 years old at the time.

I need to get the fuck out of here! No one will take me seriously! I'm gonna text Connor a long barrage of messages about Seth while I'm standing here right in front of him. He won't even notice, though. I'm always underestimated!

Me: bestie we have to get the fuck out of Mass this weather is SHIT s*th is bouncing ideas for his novella off of me outside College Hall rn im not saying he plagiarized me but i just think its funny how he graduated from undergrad like two years ago and now suddenly HES writing a CAMPUS NOVEL??? and Hull is EATING IT UP meanwhile anything i turn in is like somehow so vile and amateurish?? 😭 its as if i was turning in pages from feminazi mein kampf to these people like i can't 😭😭

Connor's probably at work right now at the cafe but he always can FEEL when I'm tweaking like this. Seth's still going, on his second Lucky Strike. The beautiful part is that Connor used to be in this PhD program with me, so he always knows who I'm talking about but never has to deal with these people anymore. Connor's way smarter than I am, though, and dipped out of the program before things got too rancid. I, on the other hand, have always fallen particularly victim to the sunk cost fallacy. The Irish Catholicism makes me entirely incapable of cutting my losses, or even realizing that I should have cut my losses, until it's far too late.

Thank God Connor's online. I hope he's sitting on the work toilet shitting on company time.

Connor: AHHHHH wait bestie... he's single white femaling yhou like he's trying to slowly take over your life and become you and then he'll run you over with his Beamer in a campus parking lot what the FUCK?? like, a campus novel from what PERSPECTIVE???

Me: UGH i KNOW its like .. set in one of those big southern schools and its about an artsy straight guy who becomes best friends with a gay closeted gay lacrosse player Connor: WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS A GAY LAX BRO FROM SETH??? AHHHHH wait also Me: I know it's like he's single white femaling both of us... Connor: yes its completely foul outside we should see if we can snag a disgusting little last-minute room on the vegas strip next weekend i switched shifts the other day with my coworker so now im working 8 days in a row but then i have that whole weekend off.. i feel like circus circus might have something flea-infested we could book and like fly spirit airlines out there and then we can bank on getting sloppy and finding some coked-up tech guys to buy us shots and give us casino chips i feel like we could do it for like, $250 Me: OMFG Wait hold on yes wait im gonna smoke this joint and then go look at this on my computer... i am so broke but actually like would be so down to do this for real

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shan-helsing · 10 months

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I know it's random, but any wulfric hcs 👀 ?

WEEPS INTO MY HANDS. TYSM FOR ASKING. i'll write some i can think of rn !

▪︎wulfric comes from some random germanic village, not the same as viago but similar, and has a ridiculously insane name. my gf is a huge fan of the name wulfric van schlammstein for him. bc it sounds funny.

▪︎ he travelled to england for research in studies (dawg i do not know, i'm still brainstorming this) n there he met lovely laszlo, mr gorgeous leslie cravensworth. since laz is KIND OF a science guy and I KNOOOW he did all that silly science stuff after he turned but i like to hc that laz in his human years was also studying science, as well as being in that club. as well as being raised in an aristocratic household.

anyways they somehow meet and something sparks. but since laz is consistently busy with his stuff they can only have cute little rendezvous at night in a park or something. they kiss. smoochie even.

▪︎ wulfric was NOOOT aware laz was turned by nadja. when nadja came and bedazzled laz he loves her forever and ever he kinda found wulfric cringe. like cringey dandelion ex bf (they didnt even break up officially) so laz kinda. tried to get wulfric outta his life. I had to think silly about this since its fucking. Wwdits. i have to be silly.

Laz invited wulfric for dinner in the middle of the night. Wulfric took ZERO notice to it being 12am. laszlo ate NOOOOTHING DRANK NOTHING. this bimbo had 0 realisation of any vampiric things. Anyways laz tried to poison wulfric many times that night. He thought he succeeded, but wulfric just got some weird tummy ache afterwards. It was probably expired food LMAOAOAO (im still brainstorming all of this hehehehe)

▪︎ wulfric got turned by a random vampire before he set to seas back home. This wouldve been the last time he saw laz. Loooong long ago. Wulfric was still idk man kinda food poisoned and whatever way he was, the vampire who turned him got stuck in bat form. They are best friends now.

▪︎ wulfric super slumbered for about 150 years. he knows nothing. ZILCH of any of the wars LMAO. he woke up in the 70s and just had the time of his life. sailed to the new world. hes super clueless about anything thats happened so he just takes everything at face value.

▪︎ wulfric also has a familiar !!!!! his name is dorian (i'll link a pic below) dorian was turned just before wulfric super slumbered so he knew that dorian would protect him. dorian is still his familiar. Even as a vampire. Wulfric knows hes cheating the system - he does not care.

▪︎ i like to imagine wulfric comes back into the picture w laz in a super funny way. laszlo installs an electric fence and just so happens to electrocute his silly bimbo ex bf as a bat. What the FUCK. wulfrics allllll over laz and laz just gets so flustered and embarrassed. JUST BUGGER OFF 😭😭😭😭😭 wulfric is not going anywhere.

▪︎ wulfrics kinda the silly cameo like jeff. But except laszlo gets so humiliated everytime. He wants to just be like ok. ten minutes of insane sexual intercourse then youre gone. yea.

▪︎wulfric TOOOOTES calls laz leslie. IT DRIVES HIM INSANE. wulfric EVENTUALLY starts saying laszlo, but at first it was a joke.

▪︎ wulfric is a cute little hondura white bat because they look so fucking silly.

▪︎i cant think of any more rn but i wanna say nadja likes him. calls him a dandelion puff (thank you my pal bee) and mocks him then kindaaaaa gets used to him. this is my husband laszlo and his boyfriend wulfric. new besties.

WOOOOW THAT WAS SO MUCH. SORRY I LIKE. BLUSHES. GET ALL SILLY WHEN PPL WANNA KNOW ABOUT MY GUYS. i love wulfric. I made him about a month ago so im still working on him but hes an immediate favourite for me outta my ocs. hes so perfect. So cutie pie. This guy loves disco. He has a disco ball in his home.

#wwdits oc

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