#and like yes they're desperately in love but they also respect each other deeply | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

figureofdismay · 2 months

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For the 4 favorite ships, maybe you can detect a pattern meme: except I'm doing 7 for better sample size 😉

1. MSR, the Original "ship" and an eternal fave

2. Frendeavour, which manages to be age gap, detective partners, mentor/mentee, friends to enemies to friends multiple times with romantic subtext, pseudo brothers and pseudo father/son all at the same time. Also Roger Allam is there.

3. Sam/Jack. Another classic, I wouldn't say Baby's First Ship (which is Crusher/Picard and that one is a little too much a part of my childhood to read fic about) but it's definitely one of the first! Ever since seeing the s2 ender/s3 opener one afternoon scifi channel marathon in the late 90s, Sam/Jack made a home in my fandom brain and never left 💜. They're one of the sweetest, most supportive and respectful relationships, in ways that still surprise me given the genre. And the pining! The beautiful, obvious years of pining! Not to mention that the fandom established so many of the beloved scifi shipping fic tropes ;)

4. RomanGerri. It's romantic. It's asexual. It's pure kink. It's deeply sentimental between people terrified of sincerity. They're kindred spirits. They fight like cats and dogs. They love each other

5. Janeway/Paris. I could do a whole dissertation here but this is one of those you get it or you don't ships. Suffice it to say that this pairing is extremely dear to my heart, and gives me all kinds of Elizabeth I and Robin Dudley feelings the way I wanted to but never did from J/C. A lot of it has to do with their shared background and the way there are surface differences in their approach to life and Starfleet but not that deep down they're extremely similar. Different symptoms of the same disease, I used to say about Kate and Tom and their fathers. But they make each other happier which is v important to me.

6. Mirandy. Not my first femslash ship but one that stuck with me for a very long time. I don't talk about it much because it ended up being. A little on the nose for my overall emotional well-being. Similar to Hacks in that way. I love it a lot but it's too personal so I don't talk about it much.

7. Soulbates/Norma x Norman. Let's call this rent lowering gunshots, okay? No hard feelings if you're not into following someone who's into the epic momson ship of 2013, but it is genuinely one of my favorite tragic ships ever since watching Bates about 18 months ago. I was into it enough to let my fandom group at the time jettison me because I wouldn't stop liking it lol. It's horrifying, yes, they love each other in appalling ways shaped by desperation, trauma and familiarity. Enmeshed so far it became a part of Normans foundational being. But there was real equal love amongst the dependency and the tragedy was as fascinating as it was inevitable.

I guess my theme is uh. Older Women, huh 💀😇

I wasn't tagged but I saw this meme several times on my dashboard, so I felt like joining in. And coincidentally giving some newer followers a primer on my taste 😉😆. So if you reading want to share your ship, consider yourself tagged! And feel free to tag me if you like 😊

#about #my ships #ficcest cw

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sheirukitriesfandom · 1 year

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Savos/Rashkan for the character relationship questions <3

Ayy, thank you for asking. This took me a while but as I said, since you didn't specify I answered ALL OF THEM. One or two I answered a long time ago so I just copied those with minor editing. Enjoy 😃

general

🕊 how did they meet?

They met when Rashkan asked to join the college as an independent scholar and was brought before Savos and Mirabelle due to his special circumstances. It was honestly super boring, which is why I probably won't write it.

🏹 at what age did they meet?

TES elven ages oh god… To be honest, I don't really know their exact ages and refuse to think about them much. Rashkan was approaching the border to middle aged (for a dunmer) whereas Savos is over a hundred years old if not much older. There was quite an age difference between them from the get go but they're both old enough to deal with that.

✨ who is the more extroverted/introverted in the relationship?

Neither of them is very outgoing. Savos is definitely more introverted and needs more recovery from even "fun social time". He's not shy though. Rashkan is more extroverted but that's not saying much considering it's easy to be more extroverted than a guy who sometimes locks himself in his chambers for days…

🐇 who is the most emotional?

Overall? Savos. However, Rashkan is more likely to cry during the emotional parts of sad and/or romantic stories. He's not honest about it though.

☁️ do they act differently around other people than how they act with each other?

Yes, though with Savos the difference is minor. He's in better shape overall and at least tries to keep it together around Rashkan as best as he can.

Rashkan acts VERY differently around Savos compared to other people. Bluntly put, he's judgemental and prickly to most people who aren't Savos and fail to earn his respect/catch his interest. Ex.: To him, Tolfdir is a half-senile old fart of not much use, Colette is the most annoying person in the world and Rethul (my DB) is… well, Rethul. He also tries to put up a front for other people.

🌼 what do they like best about each other?

Savos is an idealist and, by extension, an optimist through and through. It's why he doesn't care about Rashkan being a vampire, why he doesn't mind Rashkan's study of necromancy, why he shuts Rashkan up whenever he's worried about his feeding habits—or anything, to be honest. Savos tries to see the best in other people (ironically not himself, though) or in difficult situations and that's something Rashkan deeply admires because he's very much the opposite. It's also the reason why Savos stayed with Rashkan during ACoS: Cold, despite the cold, dwindling rations and Rashkan's growing thirst, because he was certain they'd make it.

Savos loves Rashkan's reliability and honesty. If Rashkan says he'll do something, he'll do it. If Rashkan says something, he means it. The only time he'll outright lie is if it's to hide his condition. All in all, the only one with whom Rashkan isn't honest is himself. It is for that reason that Savos came to spend more and more time with him outside of feeding and gardening: because he quickly learned that Rashkan's interest in him and his life—as archmage, fellow conjurer, friend and later lover—is 100% genuine.

It's also why Rashkan managed to try and set things right with his family—a move Savos deeply admired because Rashkan owned up to his biggest regret, which Savos has yet to do.

All in all, Rashkan is a source of stability, which Savos desperately craves amidst all the stress of daily College of Winterhold life.

Which isn't to say that no one at the college has a similar effect on Savos, but 1) not all in one person and 2) Savos is, apart from Urag, the oldest current member of the college; he's known much of the staff as apprentices, so even though he's close with many of them, he can't fully shake off his role as a mentor/teacher/archmage.

There's more, like Rashkan's assertiveness Savos admires or Savos' wealth of knowledge and fascination for his craft(s) which have Rashkan enchanted on a regular basis, but the question asked for most.

👼 are they similar to any other fictional relationships, from books, tv, etc?

I consume too little media to judge that…

🌛 describe their dynamic in up to five words.

— Comfort

— Domesticity

— Nerdery

— Growth

— Trust

🤍 how do they comfort the other when they're upset?

Despite being overall more self-assured, Rashkan struggles to comfort Savos when he's sad, because the latter unfortunately refuses to let himself be comforted. At some point, Rashkan has to sit him down and tell him point blank to stop tearing himself down.

Savos has more life experience to draw upon and although he never quite knows how to react when Rashkan—or anyone close to him—is sad, he's always got an open ear and some honest,well-meaning advice.

For Rashkan, that's enough. He doesn't like to be coddled during such moments because in his case, sadness and anger go hand in hand.

If Rashkan were mortal, Savos would make him a cup of tea to calm down but well...

romantic

💗 who confessed their feelings first?

Savos.

🌸 how long did it take them to get together?

Over a year. Neither of them is quite sure when the first romantic feelings developed between them but it took just over a year until Savos confessed.

🎀 do others know about their relationship? if so, are they accepting of it?

They never announced their relationship so there was a time when nobody knew quite what was going on between Rashkan and Savos. Enthir opened a betting pool. Over time the rest of the faculty found out though. They're mostly accepting although Mirabelle was a bit concerned at first. There are many potential problem factors to the relationship (The age difference, Rashkan's vampirism, Savos' position) and she didn't want Savos to get hurt in the—to her—likely case things didn't work out. They talked it through though.

💘 was it love at first sight, or a slow burn?

Slow burn. Rashkan was quite disappointed when he first met Savos. Like, you're the archmage and don't even have a mushroom tower? What kind of wizard are you?

🧚🏼 what was their relationship, if they had one, before they got together?

Their relationship started fairly practical, with Savos being Rashkan's primary source for blood (The archmage's quarters offer a great deal of privacy). That's how the two slowly got to know each other and became friends. Their friendship is one based on sharing time, knowledge and skills, like Rashkan teaching Savos how to sew, Savos getting Rashkan into gardening (and failing to teach him alchemy),

💌 who says 'i love you' first?

Savos. He saw no point in waiting for "that special moment". Rashkan doesn't say it until shortly before everything comes crumbling down around them.

🍄 what was their first date like?

Their first date-date they were out stargazing. It was lovely despite Savos having been full of self-doubt.

🍥 have they met each other's parents? what was their parents' impression of them?

No, they haven't. Savos' parents died during the Great Collapse and Rashkan is not on good terms with his family. Rashkan has, however, often thought about how it would turn out.

💔 have they ever broken up?

They came close to it once during one of Savos' bad moments but no, they've never broken up.

friendship

❤️ how close are they? are they best friends, quite close, barely friends at all?

Even without the romantic aspect they're very close friends.

🧡 do they have any mutual friends? who are they?

Considering how close-knit the college is, yeah, most of their friends are mutual friends or at least mutual acquaintances. Urag and Mirabelle are perhaps most noteworthy.

💛 what do they like to do together?

Gardening

Teatime

Having scholarly debates (from serious to "If bound weapons are actually dremora, would bound armour be sentient? Even sapient? Does your crotch guard experience emotions and complex thoughts?")

Reading. Whether it be cuddled up and reading the same book, each enjoying their own in silent company or Rashkan going on a tirade about how the author of "The Breton baroness' saucy secrets" is a bloody hack—much to Savos' amusement.

Learning new things together, like Rashkan teaching Savos how to sew or Savos getting Rashkan interested in gardening, or Savos trying (and failing) to teach Rashkan alchemy, etc.

Playing board games on particularly slow days

There's so much more but this reply is long enough as it is.

💚 do others assume they have feelings for each other?

Yeah.

Before they got together there were a few college members who suspected something, namely Urag and Tolfdir (whom I think is very close with Savos) and Phinis. Savos tried to keep his growing crush hidden from Mirabelle to prevent bothering her (in his mind). Phinis was the one who confronted Rashkan about it, after getting annoyed by Rashkan talking about Savos so much (~"Savos this, Savos that—just marry the guy already").

💙 do they have any shared interests?

They didn't start out with many shared interests; magic—Conjuration first and foremost—is perhaps the most notable one they had from the start.

However, their interests overlapped in places and rubbed off on each other. For example, although Rashkan didn't have a clue about gardening, he did have some theoretical knowledge about botany and since he's a huge "knowledge sponge", he was eager to learn more about the garden.

They're both avid readers but Rashkan prefers fiction and Savos nonfiction. Still, they find enough to discuss and Savos enjoys helping Rashkan research for his writing. He also proofreads said writing. Whether that's something he enjoys or not depends.

💜 have they ever wingmanned each other, or otherwise helped each other go out with the person they like?

No. Not each other anyway…

💖 do they have any inside jokes? give an example, if you can.

Savos just needs to drop the word "table" into a conversation for Rashkan to be embarrassed. Likewise, after the incident with the ripped pants, Rashkan makes sure to remind Savos …

🤎 would they ever consider living together?

They kind of lived together before they even got together (really, Rashkan rarely spends time in his own room; he's either in the Arcanaeum, the Midden or at Savos'). I dare even go as far to say a good chunk of their friendship arose from their shared domestic life.

🖤 do they regularly tease each other, or are they more sincere?

They occasionally tease each other but for the most part they're sincere.

#elder scrolls #skyrim #Savos Aren #ask game #rashkan atheron #the cursed otp that started it all #long post

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speckeltail · 1 year

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idk meta about my interps of riddler and aaron and what it means for them and how they treat each other

spinning off in my own little world has yielded what I am absolutely sure to be an only slightly insane interpretation of tb!riddler; this is someone who's been dismissed, belittled, scapegoated, used countless times, whose inflated sense of ego is... yes, an inflated sense of ego, but also a cover for an insanely damaged self-esteem and general inability to connect with other people. he's defensive of his interests because they've always been mocked until they're useful, he's defensive and selfish with his skills because when he works for someone else and does as he's told he's accustomed to taking the fall. he doesn't trust when people are nice to him because he's been primed to see it as an attempt at manipulation... and he worked as an operator for a carnival game in what I see as his late teens + early twenties while he was getting his degree, so he knows full well what it's like to be manipulative. being an operator for a fun little carnival game where the fun of playing is the real prize is different from leading someone on and stealing their work, though. the biggest similarity is that the games are rigged from the start and only an idiot wouldn't see that (he didn't see that, what does that make him).

so it leaves him intensely distrusting, competitive, accustomed to relying on only himself (except for his little nerd armada, god I love the riddlemen they're perfect in every way) and letting himself be the only person to call the shots. at the same time... he is desperately reaching out for connection. he's lonely! he wants to be validated and treated like he has value for being just a person, not for his immense smarts, though he'd appreciate that too.

aaron coming into the picture doesn't necessarily change things so much as it puts a new coat of paint over it, because eddie finds himself in the same position his own father was in (and failed) but also... not at all. not in the slightest. he saw, in aaron, a kindred spirit who was used, who was abandoned, someone who wanted to get back at a system that was rigged from the start. and, I mean, it's not like Batgirl and Robin aren't on the scene. (and prank and scorn, which is its own thing.) the way I see it, eddie didn't intend for aaron to be more comfortable as sphinx. it just... happened. eddie sinks deeply into riddler as a protective layer against the world (prickly intellect and a mean streak that quite frankly dissolves the very second it's not of use?), aaron takes the thing he loved that became a horrible burden and a source of pain and turns it into the weapon he uses to get back at the world as sphinx.

to some degree, eddie is trying to protect and nurture the child in him that loved puzzles and was shot down at every turn. aaron is the opposite; he grew up fast, too fast, was on a global stage at fourteen and acting like an adult (without the adult privilege of making decisions for himself) and being treated like an adult with his area of expertise. eddie trips facefirst into love with someone who is only using him, and pays the price; aaron carefully portrays himself as someone unattainable and undesirable in his relationship with the other villain sidekicks, prank and scorn. (the context for that is sphinx went to them each separately, after their respective disasters, and went; hey. nobody's going to look out for us. people are going to try and use us. people won't take us seriously. we have to look out for each other. and they have a groupchat where aaron talks scorn down from doing dumb violent shit and donnie goes through cycles where he relapses into prank with joker. all very interesting. I should talk about it later. he's very much a mother hen because like eddie, he needs a sense of control and he cares deeply for people).

so... aaron acts like an adult, mainly. eddie helps him make a fake identity and aaron takes over from there. he's trying to be as convenient as possible, and it never comes out but he's afraid that he'll be discarded as soon as he's more trouble than he's worth-- which would distress eddie if he found out. sphinx is useful, and smart, and eager to please, and takes care of himself. sphinx is altogether more comfortable to be than aaron, who is anxious and doesn't know how to ask for help or care and feels ashamed that he wants it. eddie is his superior, not a father figure. neither of them know how to navigate this.

when aaron graduates high school, he goes to college-- this is when he stops being sphinx and starts being tyto, triggered by him investigating the disappearance of a classmate and friend and discovering a seedy underbelly to newark. it's where his and eddie's similarities come to an uncomfortable forefront. aaron, when given the opportunity, is obsessive. he's willing to wait, but only for so long. a few years ago I was pretty adamant about aaron not killing, but over the years I've honestly changed my mind... I think that he doesn't intentionally kill, but it's happened. and with the people he's targeting, he's not especially guilty about it.

anyway, eddie doesn't figure out about tyto for a while, he thinks that aaron's just retired aside from visiting gotham and doing sphinx stuff for him as a favor on long weekends and holidays, and when he does he's surprised at how much he does not like it. he did invite sphinx into the whole business with the promise of getting back at people who hurt them (and the world, in general, and the way things are rigged, and it's fine for them to break the rules because nothing is fair) but that was stealing money. blackmailing people, at most! silly bullshit like jello bombs. people in speeding cars they control so they're not really in any danger. distractions. you know. supervillainy? tyto is not a supervillain. tyto is not even necessarily a vigilante, though that's what he's treated as. tyto is indeed getting back at people with precise and violent intent, much as an unsupervised nineteen year old with extensive training and too much compassion for his own good might.

it's not going to end well! it's a hopeless crusade that leaves power vacuums and is endless work, and what's going to happen when aaron graduates? How the hell can Eddie respond to that? he can't tell aaron to stop because he's not in charge of him anymore. he doesn't disagree with what aaron is doing but it might get him killed, and in fact there is a high chance that it might get him killed.

anyway I think that's what makes eddie realize that he cares for aaron a lot more deeply than he ever expected he does, or should. and once again things are spiraling out of his control and the only thing he can do is watch and hope there's enough pieces left to pick up.

#aaron griffin #tb!riddler #the riddler #me post #DRAGGING MY HANDS DOWN MY FACE #sidekick squad is immensely important to me #andy kills william when he gets out of prison => graduates to vigilante (stalker)#RH kills joker and prank eventually goes solo as a tiktok influencer => jester #aaron has a lot of trauma about a lot of things and sees a chance to make a difference by putting his hands around someone's throat => tyto #jester is a batgirl rogue and it's fantastic. they are friends. donnie gets enough tiktok money to move out of his dad's apartment #and buy clothes that FIT #donnie is absolutely being neglected lmao his clothes don't fit his hair is messy he latches immediately without question onto the #first adult to treat him with respect and pay positive attention to him #which contributes to the cycle of... joker approaching him again and again with small; generally harmless pranks #getting him to escalate. keeping him essentially huffing low dosages of joker gas in their little planning warehouse.#pushing him to do more and more dangerous things until donnie pushes back like hey I don't want to actually hurt people #and then joker goes too far and donnie runs away and comes down off of a week-long gas high #and two or three months pass... cycle repeat #for andy william is like 10 years older than him so old enough to step in as a 'parental' figure but with none of the skills #pressure pressure pressure on andy who has trouble adjusting to seeing him as an authority figure #putting on a show of being good brothers and a good team to everybody else while being wildly dysfunctional #living in their parent's apartment while their parents are in prison #william taking his teen brother on jobs to be a thug. more pressure. hatred for people who have better but unable to parse it #as sadness and jealousy #both of them getting gassed; william going to jail; andy is a minor so he's released on probation and goes to live alone #detoxing off of a concentrated dose of joker gas #he's the foil for dick so while dick loses his parents and gains a new support and purpose in being robin #andy is wrapped up in scorn and likely goes right back to being a thug for people when he needs money because #what else can he do?#aaron is both of their lifelines as the closest thing to a functional adult they can trust (while he is actually younger than andy

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cruelfeline · 3 years

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I'm both a Hordak and Catra stan but Can you really blame the "pro" Catra-stans ? Their favorite gets suffocated twice on screen,right when she was showing signs of change by opening up to Scorpia, she has lived with severe anxiety thinking Hordak would demote her, dispose of her any second if she failed And lo and behold it did really come true too. She got stripped of her rank, became suicidal, indifferent to danger., She leaves the wastes because despite being punished by Hordak she still wants to prove herself to him and get that bit of validation to realize her own self-worth(she gets also triggered by Shadow weaver but that comes only after interrogating Adora) .In season 4 after she feels cornered again she "dethrones" him but temporarily she then soon reverts to her old habits by wanting validation from Hordak like he desperately wanted prime's, she was content with being equals, partners in crime with Hordak rather than overthrowing him for real and such as when she asks him permission to "give the command", she goes from becoming a SW to a Hordak closing herself off from everyone, yelling "Get out" While Hordak too is undeniably abused. The narrative follows Catra more we see more of her suffering. So I really get why they're so biased but it's sad too because Hordak and Catra have many similarities with eachother.

Sorry English isn't my native tongue I hope I was a little intelligible.

Ah, no worries; your English is far better than however I would fare in your native tongue c:

On your points regarding Catra stans... well... I mean, certainly people have the right to feel the way they feel. It’s not like we can really control our feelings towards these characters; they just happen (case in point: me and this embarrassing Hordak stint I’ve been on for over a year). However... I can’t say that much of what you say regarding Catra holds true for me personally. And for that reason, I just don’t find much in common with the really hardcore Catra stans.

To me, a lot of it has to do with choices. Catra is at her most sympathetic to me in the very earliest seasons, where things are truly out of her control. Adora leaves. Shadow Weaver is still in power and treats her abominably. At this time, I really do feel for her. As the show goes on, however, I find that my ability to really connect with her just sort of dwindles. Especially when Hordak is right there and not presenting any of the problems Catra does.

Like... so, you mention that she lives with severe anxiety thinking that Hordak will demote her for failing, and that this comes true. Well... that’s not really the case, is it? Hordak doesn’t demote her for failing. He’s demanding, yes, but he’s not unreasonable. Rather, Hordak demotes her because she lies to him. And that is a choice she makes. She chooses to prioritize Shadow Weaver over what is essentially her job, and she does so in a way that presents a significant danger to both Hordak and the Horde itself - a danger that truly does become realized when Shadow Weaver helps the Princesses infiltrate the Fright Zone. This situation doesn’t make me feel sympathy for Catra. Rather, it makes me feel exasperated because she was given a legitimate chance by Hordak, and she squandered it.

When she leaves the Waste, it’s not because she wants to prove herself to Hordak. Rather, she makes it very clear that she is disdainful of him and doesn’t much care for his opinion at all (calls him a shut-in, remarks that he doesn’t know anything about the outside world). The reason she leaves is because she learns that Shadow Weaver is with Adora, a bit of knowledge that, to her, means that Adora is “winning.” She leaves because her self-worth is essentially based on Adora herself. Catra feels the need to beat her, no matter what the cost. A concept that is really driven home at the end of season three where she just about says as much, declaring that she’d rather see the world end then let Adora win. Which... I mean, I get that she’s coming from a sad place, but there’s a line crossed there, and it’s a significant downer for me.

Moving on to season four, I wouldn’t say that she feels “cornered.” At the start of season four, Hordak is absolutely not a danger to her. He doesn’t want anything to do with her. He doesn’t want anything to do with anything. He’s... well, to my eyes, he’s depressed. He’s deeply hurt over Entrapta’s supposed betrayal, and he just wants to be alone. He wants to build up his defenses and protect himself from being hurt again. Because of these desires, he essentially stalls the war, and this is why Catra dethrones him. Not because she wants validation, or because he’s dangerous to her. Certainly not because he “corners” her. I mean... she enters his sanctum uninvited. She makes that move. Not him.

She legitimately dethrones him because he’s not warmongering fast enough for her. She wants to continue the war so she can stick it to Adora, and Hordak is too melancholy for her tastes. So she attacks him and removes his life support and basically bullies a disabled man so she can get back to heckling Adora.

I just... don’t really enjoy that? There’s nothing in it that I find sympathetic. Honestly, I just find it uncomfortable to watch.

I find it uncomfortable because in all of these instances, Catra has agency. She has power. She has the ability to make a good decision and just... kind of doesn’t. Over and over again. In numerous different, varied circumstances. Despite receiving support and love from Scorpia. And the ultimate reason she makes these bad decisions is because she wants to hurt Adora (whom she supposedly loves more than anything, so...? Yikes?). In the end, she really does abandon seeking any authority’s approval and makes it her mission to ensure that she wins while Adora loses. Her focus narrows to that point, and I’m just not super into it.

Hordak, on the other hand, never gets this sort of... vindictive cruelty streak to him. He remains focused inward. To his detriment, the poor dear.

The narrative may try to paint Catra as sympathetic, and it works to an extent, but for me, it ends up becoming less compelling to watch as she gains power and continues to do the worst things imaginable. Whereas Hordak, upon getting like... his first offer for friendship, immediately begins to change and reevaluate his priorities. Only to be stopped by... well, by Catra making a stupid, awful decision and ruining it for him.

I also am of the sort that finds the abuse that Hordak goes through to be far more horrific than what Catra goes through. That’s not to say that what happens to her isn’t terrible; it is. But... to me, it’s like comparing the Etherian Horde to the Galactic Horde. Yes, both are bad. But the Galactic Horde has... I don’t know... there’s something absolutely sick about it that just makes it worse for me. Some sort of existential wrongness. The same thing carries over to Hordak’s story. While Catra’s, like the Etherian Horde, is terrible, it just doesn’t reach the same level of visceral horror for me.

So, anon, while I respect Catra stans enjoying their fave, I can’t really say I can relate all that much anymore. Honestly, at this point, I just find her sort of frustrating. Especially given how her redemption arc pushes all of the other characters to the sidelines of the narrative and still fails to address major events (like Angella’s death, for example).

Hordak’s character doesn’t suffer from these frustrations. So, in the end, I’m afraid I’m going to have to continue to prefer him. But that’s fine, I think; to each their own!

I’m glad you can enjoy both to their fullest c:

#discourse #Anonymous

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quantumconfidence · 3 years

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The Stigma Of The Trophy Wife & Why I'm Proud To Be One

Trophy wives and the never ending stigma... So much to say and so much to address. In this blog post as you read it in the title is all about why being a trophy wife (TW) is what I was meant to be. And most probably who you're meant to embrace too.

Keep reading Sister.

First of let me start with this mini clip...

This is all self explanatory to me and many other women who believe in hypergamy. The natural selection and order of things for women who desire to be married to a masculine man.

There's SO many negative cliche about being a trophy wife. The main one being a pretty air-head married to a rich old guy waiting to die so she can inherit all his assets and money.

And then you hear everyone around you saying things like: "why do you want to depend on a man? beauty doesn't last forever and some day he will replace you with someone hotter and younger"

But to me this is coming from such a small minded and scarcity point of view. These idea are filled with lack of everything.

There's SO, so, so much more than this about thinking of yourself as a TW!

Let's address a few of these points though because that is very important.

The "pretty air-head" Idea:

Who said that beautiful women were air-heads?

Just like everyone in this world, God has created each one of us, and you, with a special gift that NOBODY will ever provide like you do it. And that's a FACT.

I personally have worked for the largest and most successful companies in the world during my corporate career. As a people manager in technical supports, and I was VERY successful. These are definitely NOT the type of jobs or accomplishments an air-head would ever reach.

(If you're reading my blogs for the first time, Hello, My name is Mrs Queen and I'm the proud owner of this eCommerce business.)

And so, since when do we have to chose? I mean, hello scarcity mindset!

How being attractive, and maintaining your physical appearance ever kept you from being knowledgable and intelligent?

The "You'll always have to look pretty for him to stick around" Idea:

I cannot explain how this idea to me is SO basic, and SUCH a poor mindset!

Whom ever said that, clearly DOEN'T understand what makes a man marry you, when he truly believe that you're the woman of his dream. Or what makes a man stay with you for the rest of his life. So I'm going to spell it out loud, and preach. I hope you're ready?

First of all, a man stay kept if HE wants to stay kept. That has nothing to do with you but let's not ignore the following because these are contributing factors.

As a woman you're a WHOLE soul and PACKAGE by yourself. You do NOT ever or ever had to be with anybody to complete you. EVER. let me say it again, never, EVER.

And men DO understand that. They're looking and craving for that ENTIRE package. They want to experience it they want to live in it, forever and ever. This is literally their number one reason of living and striving in this world.

Yes, their MAIN reason to be alive. I'm not exaggerating.

What package am-i talking about?

Ok let's start with the obvious one:

1/ Your beauty.

yes your face and body. And all appearances are appreciated in this world.

If you're thinking "high maintenance" and or "too exhausting" let me tell you the following very simply.

The way you care and take pride in your appearance has NOTHING to do with a man.

Never. EVER.

It has however EVERYTHING to do with how YOU, my sister, honor and love yourself. It's your way of respecting and glorify God's creation of you.

And if a man (your husband) gets to enjoy the perks too, that's his luck.

So don't allow laziness, or misconceptions to twist your mind. Taking care of yourself, and maintaining yourself is your godly duty as a woman. Let me say it again, it's self love and self respect.

Then,

2/ Your Feminine ENERGY.

I'm literally talking about how your presence makes him feel. Have you ever had a phone conversation or just met someone and the tone of their voice, their smile gave you goose bumps and elevated your energy right away?

Making you smile, and feel warmer inside? That's what I'm talking about. Some people have the power to project their amazing energies into you and make you feel amazing in split-seconds. Everyone is of course different but the ones who love you, DO feel the energy of your soul.

And masculine men CRAVE for the feminine energy. The loving, the kind, the healing, the peaceful, resting, warm energy. They NEED you to be fully immersed into it, and let him join you into it.

They will do and pay anything to help you sustain and protect this beautiful environment. And it starts with the place you live in. Your body (back to point 1). Then your home. and the rest of your universe.

3/ Your RESPECT for him: This goes way deeper than the way you love him. Men will ALWAYS prefer being respected than being loved if they had to chose between the two. If you haven't read them, check out these books:

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

5 Love Languages

These are most definitely books that WILL drastically improve your relationship for the better. Feminism has us fooled with many ideas, and yes I'm fully aware that this movement gave the western woman many rights, and I'm not talking about this.

The movement also pushes women to violently disrespect men in MANY different ways, on a daily basis. Making you believe that it's a synonym of empowerment. It's not, it truly isn't. It's the number one key to ending your days living in an apartment with hundreds of cats.

4/ Your brain & your drive:

Masculine men do not want air-heads anyway. They want smart driven women who know how to balance all the things stated before and their lives.

A woman who can literally put all this shit together. HER shit together I should say to be more exact. DO not try to rule his life. That's HIS job. Not yours.

A masculine man wants to lead most of the times. LET him. If you believe and trust him, this won't be hard for you to do.

If not, and I mean if you deeply believe that your man cannot lead the way in your relationship, then you probably chose the wrong kind of man for you. It's never too late to find the right one.

Please note: These points ARE the WHOLE package and aren't in any particular order. One doesn't compensate for the others. ALL, meaning EACH one of them are part of the whole package that is you.

So what's a TW then?

It's in masculine men's nature to want to provide, it DOES NOT mean that you shouldn't have your own. As a matter of a fact it is crucial that you have your own AND let him provide.

One idea that I love the most in Islam, is that it is clearly stated that a man has to provide for his household and his wife's need. Only then a woman will submit to him and respect him fully. She can however have her own sources of income and decides if she wants to participate in the household spendings OR not.

Other religions have similar ideas too.

A TW is literally what ever you want to be. But most importantly she KNOWS how to be the most unique version of herself. And that IS ENOUGH.

But then what if you just do NOT want to work?

It took me a while to come up to a very simple realization. And that's because while growing up my mother always pushed me to "be independent". And to this day she still does.

I had to pounder very deeply on these things.

First of all, your value as a woman does NOT depend on what you can "bring to the table". It never was and never will.

Your value does NOT depend on how productive you can be. How much money you can earn, how much achievements you can reach. NONE. OF. THAT.

You are WELL worthy of being loved and taken care of, and just simply existing because you do. period.

Let me say it differently. You were born WORHTY. There's NOTHING that you have to do to be worthy. Your man, husband should know and appreciate that at it's right value.

You are NOT a financial burden. You ARE valuable, without having to do or achieve ANYTHING.

Your value is in you BEING you. Going back to the "whole package" idea.

Is this laziness?

I know these days if a woman doesn't want to work, she's labelled lazy. It's not. It's about understanding that the "whole package" is contribution in itself. It's HIGHLY valuable.

As I said, it's a man's reason for living, so he can experience that "package" with you.

But the scriptures say that you have to be a hard working woman at home or an active member of the society....

Yes. And you already are. Directly or indirectly. A woman who lives in her "whole package" vibe is an inspiration of everyone around her. That's her CONTRIBUTION to the world if she feels that it's enough. So it is. And there should be no room for shaming this.

And the ones shaming these women, are the ones who don't understand what I just wrote about.

The idea of "Keeping your independence"

I cannot believe how much I have been SO stubborn in grasping, holding on SO damn hard on my "independence"....

As mentioned growing up that's something my mom kept on repeating to me. That's because her marriage to my father was far from being exemplary. And I get her from those circumstances.

Let me remind you if you had a mom like mine, you are NOT your mom and your husband is NOT your father. Therefore your marriage and experience with it ARE NOT the same.

My simple question to you is: Why would you want to feel "independent"? How does being married truly makes you feel? Trapped in any ways?

I pondered so hard on this one. As a married woman I DO NOT want to be independent. I am married. Independence is the complete opposite of marriage.

Do you want independence still? Then be single! you'll have plenty of independence.

Marriage and being a wife truly requires from you to completely abandon your maiden self. That's only then that true union is ever possible. Marriage is two people coming as one. If you have found a husband that you love and loves you back, you won't need to feel independent.

We very often take love and relationship advice from women who are still wounded. My mom for example is currently single.

And the teaching she can ever pass on me are the ones of a woman who's been through three failed marriages. That's precisely why I do NOT take marriage advice related to "staying in a successful marriage" from her.

Who have you been listening to so far? Are they in the type of marriage that you aspire to be in? If not, then I invite you to reframe your way of thinking around what they taught you to believe.

The "he will go for someone younger" idea:

Ok, yes that happens, because some relationships aren't meant to last forever. But who says YOU won't do that before he does?? Or leaving him for a better option? Who will treat you better if your current one starts tripping? THAT right there is the TW mindset.

Because you know your value, and the value of being the "whole package".

Your aging DOES NOT diminish your worth or value. It does NOT. The way you perceive yourself is the ONLY factor that can have that effect ladies. Not a man. Not what your mom would say. Or what your "friends" who mean "well", or your community members will say.

NONE. OF. THAT.

It's you vs YOU.

So why wouldn't you feel proud to FULLY be your own FULL package anyway?

You can have it, so flaunt it for you, for God, and your (future) lucky hubby sister.