#and like I'm not cis anymore

[hazel2468]

I know I've said something similar before but like.

People are all "uwu we shouldn't let kids do hormone blockers or have surgeries because children can't consent to that!" and like. Aside from the fact that no one is doing gender affirming procedures on kids.

I would be willing to bet my left tit that these are the EXACT same fucks who would have given me shit from middle to high school and into college about getting laser hair removal, about my voice change from a soprano to an alto (not severe but noticeable, as I was a singer), who said I should amputate my healthy stomach so I could be more thin and "ladylike", who gave me ENDLESS shit for my body hair, including facial hair, who demanded I shave and pluck and squeeze myself into clothes and an image that didn't fit me and who ENCOURAGED me to take medications and have procedures that would permanently alter (and in the case of weight loss surgery? Damage, most likely) my body to fit what THEY thought I should be.

All because I have PCOS. My body is not what people expect of a cis woman's body.

Gee. It's almost like it has nothing to do with kids not consenting, and EVERYTHING to do with these chucklefucks wanting to deny trans kids access to life-saving care AND wanting to force intersex kids into medical treatment that they, by their own logic, cannot consent to.

But that's all fine when they're making us intersex folks "normal", huh?

#queer #trans #intersex #yeah the more I learn about PCOS and being intersex #the more parts of my own experience make a lot of sense #and the more fucking ANGRY i get about it #like I am someone who is actively transitioning to have a non-normative body #and someone who also has ALWAYS had a non-normative body in a lot of ways #and im just #a little absolutely fucking livid #transphobia #exorsexism #fucking FUCK #and like I'm not cis anymore #but i fucking WAS i was a girl for most of my life #and this shit impacted me a lot more than I thought in hindsight

[fluffypurpleglitterdemon]

As Lang Qianqiu has his breakdown over finding the murderer of his family who he has complicated feelings about not only alive, but a god who he spent the past few days hanging out amicably with, it is now time to check in with Mu Qing. Mu Qing is having a great time!

#Me Talking #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #TGCF liveblogging #reading through this segment I keep wondering where Mu Qing's line is #He's enjoying Xie Lian being pathetic and undignified and unhappy and hated but when is it so much suffering that it isn't fun anymore? #Maybe it's just that at this plot point 100 Years Of Coffin Time is at the forefront of my mind #But I wonder. Where is the point when Xie Lian suffering is no longer fun? #When is the point where finding out Xie Lian suffered ages ago and Mu Qing didn't know is distressing? #Can't wait to see more from Mu Qing honestly. I want to see what's going on in his brain #(I currently don't know how much ANYONE learns about Coffin Time and I am so curious how various people might feel about that) #(So many bad things happen to Xie Lian! He doesn't want anyone to know about any of them!) #(I'm also curious about which part of Xie Lian's situation Mu Qing is satisfied with) #(He IS very happy right now but I wonder from what angle. What does he like)

[trans-cuchulainn]

having complex feelings about gender stuff recently but i don't really know how to put it into words. some of it is about the self-erasure that becomes necessary when you try and talk about medical misogyny you've experienced as someone who isn't a woman but who is perceived by the world as one. some of it is about no longer feeling connected to female-centred stories of a kind you used to enjoy as a teenager because they always feel alienating but also not liking your own emotions about that because you should be able to enjoy stories that weren't written for you, it's just that they don't feel like stories that even allow space for you to exist in. but shouldn't men be able to enjoy women's stories too? but you're not a man. but you're not a woman. but the stories are about and for people who look like you but you're not one of them. but you would have been them if you lived in those worlds because nobody would have seen a difference, and that's viscerally uncomfortable, and impossible to enjoy--

and some of it is about looking for stories you could exist in and only finding stories that are profoundly unrelatable because they're only ever about characters who knew they were trans since puberty and had access to transition care in their teens and you didn't figure it out until adulthood and also that's not legally available in your country so that would never have been on the cards in the first place. or people who figured it out in adulthood but they're so certain and they're so ready to take risks and they'll change the world for a chance to become themselves because they know what they're aiming for. some of it is not being sure what you want but knowing you'll always have to be certain about it enough to fight for it because you're not going to get it any other way. some of it is not wanting to be an activist, not wanting to agitate, not wanting to have to resist every goddamn second bc you're just trying to exist in the world, but the only way anyone will ever give you a modicum of what you need is if you put all your energy into the struggle for it--

some of it is about feeling an ongoing tether to the experience of being a woman in a bad way but no tether to the experience in a good way and there's a weird kind of mourning in that, and a self denial, and an inability to reconcile your own contradictions in a way that feels comfortable. some of it is about feeling pressure to experience gender differently and to opt in to something else if you're going to opt out of what you were given but you don't want to do that either. and a lot of it is constantly self-policing your own emotions and thoughts and being convinced you're doing it all wrong somehow because you see other people being so free with their genderfuck, so unencumbered by expectations, so easily able to get it right for themselves and other people, and you're still misgendering yourself half the time in your mind because you don't even know what the right words would be at this point when you still have scars shaped like being a girl even though you're not a girl and you can't talk about them without doing yourself another piece of damage

like. i am who i am because i was thought a girl and maybe because i thought i was a girl and maybe i still don't understand why i'm not a girl but in my not-girlness i no longer feel i have any access to any kind of womanhood that doesn't hurt but i don't want to police myself out of femininity just because it isn't all that i am anymore

#spending too much time in spaces that are dominated by women and still treat womanhood as marginalised within that space #if you try to point out that as a transmasculine person you have no voice you are treated as an invading man #but nobody has ever seen me as a man. probably nobody will ever see me as a man. i do not have a man's privileges or advantages here. #and yet. #i don't know how to talk about any of this because i don't know what i'm trying to say #only that it feels sometimes like i would be more welcome in 'diverse' spaces if i were a woman #but it is the very fact that i am not a woman which is marginalising me the most a lot of the time #especially at the moment with all the violent media rhetoric and legislation #and when comparatively privileged cis abled white women are congratulating themselves on the diversity of their communities #and trans disabled people can't gain access to them. well. #(and not to mention PoC but that's not my place to speak from) #and then medical stuff. i have tried to talk about how i was misdiagnosed and ignored as a teenager #and people have literally to my face told me that's part of being a girl/woman #as if i hadn't just told them i'm trans. i'm not a girl just because i suffered from medical misogyny #don't add your violence on top of what was already done to me you absolute fucker #the only thing i share with women is the bad parts of how the world has treated me. i guess that's what i'm getting at #and that's a shitty thing to share and i don't want it anymore #personal #gender fuckery

[casiavium]

All of these "who has more anything gender!" polls are just. white man without extreme body builder muscles v white man without extreme body builder muscles. The gender is "masculine" stop pretending it's universal

#even worse is when it's 'tradionally feminine' v 'traditionally masculine (without super ripped muscles' and the notes are all #she's the opposite of gender he's THE only gender ever. #'gender' isn't even androgynous anymore it's just some guy #vent post #idk I'm just kind of 😬 about people not seeing binary girl or even predominantly feminine as 'gender' whatever the fuck that means #you like androgyny when it's on twinks but don't think the butch lesbian that only calls herself a woman is 'gender' huh #and something about genderfluid characters only ever being accepted when they're in their 'not cis' presentation (cough ze l da) #like..i consider myself genderfluid and sometimes have guy-adjacent euphoria days #(still think about everyone who he/hims me when I cosplay Link ❤️) #but... I get just as much when I'm wearing what's 'expected' of me like skirts and dresses and makeup and am seen as a girl #because a lot of times growing up i wasn't really included in the girl stuff but was still too girl for the boy things :/ #and I feel like. everything focuses on the andro of androgynous that they forget androgynous doesn't mean vaguely fem guy #it's like. shiek is winning the gender poll. but zelda wouldn't. even though they're the same person and one doesn't exist without the other #nonbinary but the binary isn't girl-boy it's trans-cis #nice dichotomy idiot #what lies outside of it

[gouinisme]

thinking about who i'd be if i didnt watch steven universe in middle school

#the rammies #i may not have ever become fluent in english #and the rammies of that are frightening #would have been in a different high school. one that was famous for making people depressed #maybe wouldn't have stopped being suicidal. wouldnt have made friends with any of the people i know today #wouldnt have joined tumblr which means wouldnt have gotten into hannibal which means wouldnt have gotten into horror #which is like #my whole personality #to be fair i was always a spooky bitch so i think in every reality i'm a horror fan eventually #but like #imagine the universe where im like. a conjuring fan #may still be cis?? #oh my god what if i w #as still muslim?? #i got into witchcraft and the occult through like. gemstone collecting aminos! and i was into gemstones bc of steven universe!!!! #i'm not really into the occult as much anymore but it's still had an enormous impact on my faith and vision of spirituality #got the fucking rammies

[thatdykepunkslut]

Saw one of my exes at the bar of my friend(who is also my ex)'s show so I left hastily to go to Goth Night at a different bar with a different ex(who is my roommate and bestie) and their polycule. And then their metamour bought me drinks and I got a wee bit fucked up but by god was I dancing for my fucking life and winning (only surpassed by my ex's partner who was sober and also wearing my other pair of second hand demonias)

#punkblogging #me #selfie #polypore band #idk if it's bc I'm a tranny or bc I'm a leather dyke but everyone at my friend's show besides the bands were glowering at me lmao #if I had a 7 evil exes dueling challenge thing happen every time I dated someone it would decimate the local hot transfem population #funnily enough 2 of my 5 exes that aren't transfems are involved in this story #which makes it sound like I don't primary date transfems however #that's 5 out of 11 with the last 5 in a row being other tgirls #this is not on purpose it's just #WAIT NO 12 TOTAL I FORGOT ALICE THE LAST S I X IN A ROW #anyways yeah not on purpose just the way it's been idk cis lesbians don't like me anymore apparently 😔 #lesbian

[punkeropercyjackson]

Update on shit ex-best friend:Realized a short while ago that she both made fun of me for being flatchested and said that i want bigger boobs to get my main male f/o(Never have i ever in my life but much less now thanks to her)yet also expected me to want top surgery anyway

#like obviously i'm mad as fuck about it and was gonna say 'i'm p.unk but DEATH PENALTY' but like.bro that's straight up tr.ansphobia #this partially isn't about me anymore little miss self-proclaimed 'kind b.imbo' deadass mocked a multi.gender person for looking androgynous #and straight up said he'd only get the guys he wants if he looked like a cis girl.jesus CHRIST that's so demonic how is she queer too #that post about how tr.anshets are better than cis gays was spot on they CANNOT comprehend transg.enderism except 'hehe gend.ies are funny' #ex-best friend tag #summerposting

[xaveria]

hey guys just so you know lately i have been identifying as a woman and using exclusively she/her pronouns again

#coming out as cis on tumblr.com #my nonbinary identity was largely connected to my identity as a lesbian #but since my spouse transitioned i just don't feel like i occupy that gender space anymore #i'm happy to be a woman and i'm glad i have thoroughly considered all other options to come to this conclusion (for now #(things can always change again and thats beautiful) #thank u for understanding

[keitheaverage]

Puzzled by the concept of cis lesbians and feminists who are active TERFs/transphobes. First, you're tellin' me y'all DON'T get excited that there are more women in the world to adore and admire just bc they don't check your weird, arbitrary little boxes on what makes a woman, a woman? Also speaking of, I thought y'all were all about not wanting your womanhood being defined by your body parts or what your body can/can't do; but you're going to be mean and exclude a whole group of women for the same reasons???

I can only speak so much on this topic being a queer cis woman myself, but it couldn't be me, that's for sure.

#random thoughts with kei the average #also P.S.: can y'all back off of trans men who once id'ed as cis lesbians?? #they did not ''betray'' you/women just bc you can't be attracted to them anymore. get tf over yourself if that's your beef. #I don't go on rants like this v often but idk it's been on my mind for a hot minute. #and bc it's pride month I've decided I'm choosing violence #also anyone caught clowning in the notes is getting instablocked. just saying that now.

[youcanthandelthetruth]

so what gets me about those ~sweet~ coming out stories where the kid gets up the courage to tell their parents and "oh yeah we've known since you were five" or whatever

is like if you knew. all that time. why would you have done nothing to make sure your kid knew it was okay? like go get yourself some gay friends or openly support gay rights or whatever or just say directly hey if you were gay that would be cool with us. why would you leave that a subject of doubt and fear for your kid? like I get that the format of the story, the emotional hook, is that it feels scary to come out but then everything was fine and they loved us anyway and nothing about our relationship to our family has to change, yay! but then you take a step back and the question is just there, if you knew this about your kid and loved them anyway this whole time why didn't you do anything to let them know?

(anyway i'm saying gay because i'm yelling at the emotions bait coming out acceptance stories that were everywhere 5-7 years ago but it goes for all queer identities)

#i dont even see those stories around anymore so this is 90% old man yells at cloud #but i've been thinking a lot as Sweet Bean gets older #he still doesnt seem to have really noticed genders yet. and he acts like a pretty typical cis boy #but like if he did turn out to be a girl what am i doing or what can i do to give him some childhood memories he can look back on fondly? #idk his mom and i both paint his nails and he loves that. #and elucubrare correctly suggested i bring him clothes shopping and let him pick whatever appeals to him #idk i'm trying to create a trans-friendly childhood for my kid who has given no indications of being trans #and its just making me mad at people who claim to have known their kids were gay and just did nothing about that

[metalsylvester]

Realizing I may have been wrong about my sexual identity a second time is really annoying.

#my post #personal #I know I love men #I identified as bi before realizing I was a dude #and when I initially realized I was trans I really wanted to be as far away from femininity as possible #and I just didn't feel attracted to women at all anymore #and I leaned very heavily into the gay man mlm of it all #cause that's what felt right #but like... #BUT IDK #it's difficult to figure out #cause women are beautiful. obviously. and I can appreciate a good ✨cunt serve✨ as a queer dude #and I don't have like any specific women or female characters that I'm like super attracted to?? #well...maybe there's one -kinda- but it's pretty embarrassing tbh lol #but if I just imagine being intimate with a woman in the abstract like...yea it's good #BUT I often have to imagine myself as a cis dude to make that work #SO IDK MAN #IDK WHERE THAT LEAVES ME #cause if I dial it way down and just make it kissing that's still good. #and I don't have to give myself an imaginary bio-penis #BUT does that really make me -attracted to women- ????????

[thottybrucewayne]

Idk maybe I'm being uncharitable rn cause I was already aggravated but when yall say "penis havers" when you really wanna say cis men or "vagina owners" when you really wanna say cis women it always makes me feel some type of way. Cause like...what's the point? You just showed me right there that you really don't give a fuck and you're just trying to sound progressive as possible without really thinking of the implications of what you're saying.

#thotty speaks #the cis lesbians in my life #be doing that shit the most and it be blowing mine like you clearly have a lot to unpack or whatever and its a learning process #right? But yall get way too caught up in like...learning what to say so you sound progressive without doing the necessary work to get there #Its like...stage 2 after 'oh you know we can't talk like that anymore' #where youre trying to just be perceived as supportive as much as possible because you don't want to be a bad person #but youre not doing the work! Youre not reading! #Youre not unlearning anything! Youre looking for a quick fast and easy way #to be a good person you want to be viewed as an ally more than you actually want to be an ally #idk maybe I'm dragging it whatever

[storm-coax]

I'm now going to be engaging in gender fuckery cuz a fellow punk said something nice about an experimental fit and brain liked it /gen

#storm fucks around and finds out #storm's punk stuff #also they said it was very genderqueer and I'm considering it /gen #very much a masc in a fem way and fem in a masc way kinda thing but idk #being on the line of man and not a man makes things weird #like I know I'm not a woman but I still wanna present fem in a way but identifying as a cis gender man doesn't feel right anymore #anyway yall can ignore those tags

[biblicallyaccuratefaggot]

seattle may be a relatively okay city for trans folks but the sheer amount of casual transmisogyny you see with a lot of queers is staggering

#like I will just not go to wildrose anymore #it's where cis 20 something fem4fems go to get shitfaced and I and as well as all the transfems ive seen there get sideeyed an insane amoun #I'm drunk & angry at the state of the community don't mind me #at the point where I'm exclusively t4t because I cannot keep myself sane trying to navigate everything going on with cis peoples conception #of us #I just want a place where my presence isnt treated like that of an invader #idk I just want a space just for trans people

[dyspunktional-revan]

Cisfem and cismasc trans people, amab transmasc and afab transfems, fem-aligned people who were afab and masc-aligned people who were amab who consider themselves neither. We're all holding hands.

#leviathan.txt #trans #transgender #transsexual #transvestite #genderqueer #multigender #nonbinary #genderfluid #cis trans #agab nonconforming #i used to be the first but now i'm feeling much more like the third #i don't want to call myself cis at all anymore #but i *used* to be #while *also being trans* #not every trans person who is technically aligned to their agab is completely not cis #and not every trans person who is technically aligned to their agab is partially cis #it's personal!!!! #leviathan.tags #gender #amab transmasc #afab transfem

[haunted-catboy]

Cis people: HRT is awful & can’t be trusted, you shouldn’t change your body like that!!!

Also cis people: I am going to consume this foodstuff (which has not been scientifically proven to actually work, but my good parasocial buddy, Disinformation, says it works) to change my hormone levels & affirm my gender. I will also, despite not having any material proof, tout it as fully working &, in some cases, not at all harmful so other insecure people can also try it!

#Some tiktokers are so afraid of not being Cis Enough I'm not even mad anymore I just feel like they're sad pathetic kittens in the rain #But every time someone tries to take them out of the wet box of cisheteronormativy they bite and claw and shit on their hands #Then scurry back to the downpour #Also I still don't have tiktok I've just fallen into YouTube shorts which is just as bad probably. Send help.