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#and it was just at my cornerstore so it's a safe nonscary environment
perilegs
ยท
5 months
Text
every time i try to do something scary on purpose for my social anxiety the universe decides to add in unexpected situations ๐
#i was supposed to go pick up a package and then i was like. ok wait. ive gotten good at buying something while pickiing a package up. what
#if i also buy stamps
#bc you have to ask the cashier for those (same as with the package)
#and it was just at my cornerstore so it's a safe nonscary environment
#well. as not-scary as any store can be.
#but. there were a lot of ppl there. which! i thought would be fine bc the line was still relatively short but. what happened was that they
#opened another register.
#and i was queuing for the reguster that had stamps and handles packages
#and i would have loved to stay at the queue. but. only one person went to the queue of the new register. so there were 2 ppl in line before
#me. one already had their stuff on the conveyor belt and the other was about to put their stuff there too
#and the person who went to the other register only had like 2 things to buy. so. it was me. in line behind 2 people. versus an almost
#empty register. so. i had to switch to the free register before the cashier had the time to b like 'there's a free register here!'
#bc i don't have a script for hearing that and saying 'no' !!!
#so i just. switched over and bought my snacks. leaving the store with no package and no stamps.
#bc if i hadnt i would have had to say something i dont have a social script for and probably stumbled on my words and gone red and dizzy
#which. not ideal.
#and this sucks ass bc all i really needed was one (1) success in a social situation
#bc this week has been kicking my ass social anxiety wise
#usually when i go and get coffee from a coffeeshop they dont ask me shit and just make my order to regular milk which. ok. i dont have an
#allergy or anything. i just think plant alternatives taste better in coffee
#but this week. i got asked 'do you want that in regular milk?' and i was not expecting that
#so i was like 'yes please ๐' and drank my grossly milky coffee dreaming about what i could have had
#and that happened TWICE
#after the first time i did think about it and decide i could have said 'do you have oat milk or something' and then the barista
#could have either said yes or no and both of those would b easy to answer
#but instead of asking if they have oat milk i just said yes. again.
#can you guys imagine some people speak without being scared
#some people even go to the store without feeling even an ounce of fear. imagine
#leevi talks
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