#and isn’t even bad it’s just something that ppl w kids go thru sometimes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reversecreek · 3 years

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snickers feverishly at myself for bringing in a 5th... who do i think i am? unstoppable? invincible? suddenly ripples my titanium plated pecs. maybe so. u can find her pinterest here n her playlist here.

* margaret qualley, cis female + she/her | you know bradley milligan, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to looking for knives by dyan like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole snow angels trampled through by your father’s footprints, casually reading a newspaper that’s catching flame & stubbing a cigarette against the wing mirror of a parked cop car thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 11th, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her )

HISTORY:

bradley has this memory of meeting her grandmother for the first time n everything in the room was frozen still. even the air. she didn’t feel like she cld move n she got the impression this is how it’d always been in the milligan lineage. the only thing that was allowed to act of it’s own accord was her grandmother’s eyes as she tracked every slightest flinch of muscle. when her father left the room her grandmother reached out and took bradley’s hand n bradley looked at this like it was smthn she’d never seen before until her grandmother leaned close and all she could stare at was a nicotine stain on one of her front teeth. “he’s cold, isn’t he? he’s always been cold. i don’t think he’s mine.” bradley could tell from how tight she held her hand that he was. she could tell by the way she smiled as she said it, too. the way she felt obliged to smile back.

growing up in a huge white house in aquila drive w pruned hedges sounds idyllic n looks it too. swanky cars w tinted windows in the long driveway. always men filing in and out under the cloak of night wearing expensive suits n smiles worthy of a politician’s billboard. bradley’s mum alyssa thought so too n that’s hw she got into this whole mess tbh. tony milligan is very good at advertising. he cld package a jarred human heart as strawberry jam and convince u to spread it on ur toast if he wanted to. he could make u smile politely as u ate ur own.

alyssa ws this very pretty blonde kind of mysterious presence in a room. everyone wanted to kno her story or fk her but noone rly treated her like a person more just like a puzzle to solve. john green syndrome alert..... literally manic pixie dream girled bt on turbo charge. there were vague whispers she’d run away from home when she appeared in town out of nowhere bt nothing concrete. tony decided he wanted to crack the case n once he set his mind to something there was no changing it. they wound up embroiled in a whirlwind romance. head over heels. he came at romance hard and fast as a freight train. alyssa knew he was into shady things but not quite the full extent of it n honestly she didn’t care bc she wanted security n a family to call her own n tony promised that. they were married within a year.

tony came frm money bt he wanted to carve his own path n make his own legacy. destined fr greatness he’d tell her. we’re destined for greatness. it sounds nice doesn’t it! alyssa thought so too.

(drugs mention tw) slowly over the yrs he essentially forged his own crime organisation tht only grew. he opened a strip club down the seedier side of irving called ‘no angels’ n this became the front thru which his gang ran drugs in the back (predominantly coke n they pride themselves fr having a Superior Blend apparently) as well as laundering cash n this also was kind of their home base to hang

(abuse tw) their marriage increasingly lost it’s shine n alyssa came to realise she’d been sold a lie n she didn’t rly know this person or what he was capable of right around the time bradley was born. by then it was kind of like Wow i am rly in this n there is not an exit door huh. i won’t go into details bt things were not good at all. bradley witnessed n experienced a lot of things she shouldn’t have growing up. she didn’t understand why other kids drew home in all these different coloured crayons like they were bright places to be. she didn’t understand why everyone got so excited when the bell rang at the end of the day bc she just felt sick. she rationalised tht this was normal when she was younger bc sometimes kids talked abt the monsters under their beds giving them nightmares n she thought mayb they were talking abt their dads too. as she got older she realised tht actually her world wasn’t the same as anyone else’s n she also realised no-one wld ever be able to tell her why. she started becoming friends with the angry feeling in her chest tht she used to try and swallow around this time. often she’d wander the mall for a while to put off going home. smoke on random park benches. watch trains rattle thru town from the vantage point of a random rooftop.

(abuse, missing person implied, murder implied & grief tw) when bradley was 12 she woke up and all of her mum’s clothes were gone frm their drawers. no shoes anywhere. a framed photo of them at the beach holding bradley as a baby vanished from over the mantelpiece. when bradley asked her dad what was going on, tony essentially said “it was exhausting her. being here. being your mother. she didn’t want to do it any more, so now she’s gone” n then he hugged her. little details leaked into the mix over the yrs. at one point tony dismissed her as having flown overseas to a foreign country to drink in the sun like she’d always wanted even tho alyssa always told bradley she liked the snow best (once she even walked outside as it fell in a thin lace nightgown when tony was out n when bradley said “mom you’re gonna get cold” she only tugged her down and made her do snow angels until her lips looked blue). the most significant memory bradley can never shake from her head is her mother cupping a yellow tulip at the park n saying she hated them. when bradley asked why she only turned and smiled at her as she stroked the hair from her face n then said “because they look so happy”. after bradley’s mum vanished a long flower bed at the bottom of the garden was suddenly overrun with dozens of freshly planted yellow tulips. whenever bradley looked at them out of her window she got this sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach like she was visiting a cemetery. she suspected what had happened to her mum (especially as rumours circulated within tony’s organisation abt alyssa being unfaithful with someone tht used to work fr him) bt she cld never bring herself to truly accept it. thus she ws stuck in this strange purgatory state of not-quite-anger at her mum for “leaving” and not-quite-grief.

bradley rly started to transgress in school after her mum was gone. alyssa was always kind of a character when she’d pick bradley up (wasn’t doing well n acted kind of ‘eccentric’ i suppose u cld say) so tony managed to spin it all as a child acting out in the wake of an unfit mother uprooting n abandoning. bradley became........ interesting. JKHGFSSKJGHFSGHSKFGHFG. she’d snap n resort to violence very easily. very desensitised to it. students were kind of scared of her tbh. as this progressed into proper high school she got in w the more rowdy popular crowd solely bc she was so fking.... wild for lack of a better word. rly would just do anything fr the thrill. had no sense of ‘i shouldn’t do this bc it’s dangerous’. partied harder than anyone. bit back harder than anyone. no filter. hung w a lot of guys honestly bc they had less morals n either found her scariness cool or wanted to fk <3

(hospitalisation, depression & drugs tw) she’s had. a few stints in psychiatric institutions fr various reasons tbh. missed a small chunk of her senior yr fr this but it wasn’t widely known just kind of rumoured. she showcases a lot of similar symptoms to her mum who struggled w severe depression (which was difficult to cope w when ur husband was often pouring ur prescription down the drain fr kicks) n in order to compensate fr the lows she takes a lot of things to kick them into highs. drinks n snorts too much. bradley i love u bt i’m begging u to seek healthier coping mechanisms......

as the yrs went on (especially once alyssa had gone) tony rly started trying to integrate bradley into the business side of things...... she literally. is named bradley bc he was expecting a boy n he was like well let’s still call her bradley. n had in mind she’d still fulfil the role he wanted her to of being his little protege so to speak.... both sexist n ugly all in one fell swoop...... an example of this is he literally. bought her a mint green switchblade for her 14th birthday n named it tinkerbell bc it would “die without attention” aka using it. tht sounds like a healthy gift to give a child tony congratulations sis <3

in an ideal world bradley wld have gone to uni to study psychology bc she jst wants to know how the fk her dad is literally like that bt she probably stuck around n is now managing no angels along with billy n marco (billy’s in her dad’s gang n is, u guessed it, a cunt, n marco is his sort of right hand man so to speak) bc tony’s in the closest neighbouring city overseeing a second ‘no angels’ opening up there to expand into a franchise n widen their income margins. bradley wld also be sort of used as a honey trap type deal once she got older if they needed to lure ppl places n sometimes still is bt it depends. the guys in the club all know not to mess w bradley bc she’s tony’s daughter n literally kind of scary herself sometimes bt there’s also this certain allure tht comes with being the boss’ daughter n it kind of comes across in how they act or talk abt her. yes i will kill them all n no i won’t feel bad abt it <3

think that’s kind of all u need to kno history wise... blinks one eye out of sync w the other..... runs to personality

PERSONALITY:

a phrase i wld always use to describe bradley in old intros is “like a cup of black coffee with one grain of sugar that u don’t taste until the last sip”. also dark chocolate. lime. liquorice. she’s an acquired taste n i feel like u either love her or u hate her.

cannot express how unpredictably chaotic she is..... frequently throws a drink in a stranger’s face jst to start something bc she’s bored. loves to hurl cheese slices across the room so they slap onto someone’s face out of nowhere. likes smashing things. stubbing cigarettes out on faces in framed family photographs. will literally pick a lock n then smash the window besides it to defeat the whole purpose just bc she found how neat it was boring. does anything fr the adrenaline n thrill. gets into far too many fights n fights dirty. probably been thrown out of every bar in town at least three times. banned from a bunch too.

she’s witty bt she has a dark sense of humour..... can be quite mean.......... loves to roast ppl for no reason........ honestly has some nathan young frm misfits aspects in that sense like jst seems untouchable emotionally n like she doesn’t take anything seriously n is fking outrageous about it.....

has this quality abt her tht kind of scares herself sometimes. it’s like she recognises parts of her dad in her. she’s very perceptive (bc she’s had to be over the yrs trying to read every micro-expression of her dad’s to predict what’s next) n like emotionally intelligent in a way which is ironic bc her own emotions r just an absolute minefield.... bt. she can read people quite well. gets this eerily calm look abt her sometimes n it’s jst like god what’s. she thinking. what’s she’s gna do. i’m shaking. a cool n controlled kind of rage can often be scarier than the explosive type n bradley does that well. grits my teeth n tugs on my collar....

very strong on the surface. hates being vulnerable. has this ingrained idea that crying is childish or rly any kind of emotional display within herself. 50% not taking things seriously 50% angry. tht’s how she comes across....... internally? whole different story. bt ppl don’t see that.

very cavalier abt some things. will flash her tits n not even think abt it. jst very out there...... one of her closest friends is a homeless man named joe who wears neon purple fishnets on his head n loves to spit on ppl from over an underpass. finds eccentric ppl like this funny n surrounds herself w them. loves to be kept on her toes.

LOVES driving stolen cars down the wrong side of the highway. it’s a lot.

fiercely loyal to a fault to a select few bt if u wrong her personally this can switch pretty quick. quite a force to b reckoned w n will hold a grudge. bt like. if ur a Chosen One she’d bury a body for u no questions asked.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

deals to u: bradley isn’t like full time into dealing bt she does do it sometimes.... treats it kind of like a hobby bc the lesser ranked can do tht shit as far as she’s concerned bt.. sometimes also jst gets bored n is like. why not. might be chaotic. mayb they’ll try to rob me <3 we love the thrill <3 or like..... if ur friends w her she’ll deal to u n no she will not do a friends discount <3 or if she does there will definitely be some sort of stipulation attached <3

high skl crew: if ur muse is local n ws an absolutely demonic hell spawn in high skl tht went to 1974547254 parties n was outrageously chaotic n rude then. bradley probably was friends w them <3 her friendships tend to be surface level bt they’d definitely go out a bunch bt whether they actually knew a lot abt her life is debatable bt we could explore options fr this

people who work at no angels: no angels is her dad’s strip club in irving that she kind of helps to run now. it’s kind of a shifty environment. the place where ud have an outrageous bachelor party. u go for the first time w a fake id n u get served bt u also get ur wallet stolen n ur convinced someone spat in ur drink n u also kind of think there might b a hit on u now after u made eye contact too long w a broad shouldered man smoking in a back booth. scary environment. testament to her dad as a person. maybe ur muse is a dancer there or works the bar or security or whatever u name it....

ma’am are u ok?: ur muse found bradley passed out across two bus seats one time in smudged dark eyeliner a silver slip dress n the world’s chunkiest combat boots this town hs ever seen. sometimes she winds up in spots like this when she goes too hard n it’s absolutely dangerous n reckless bt that’s jst bradley <3 mayb they forged an unlikely friendship frm this strange meeting or maybe even? dare i say it? a romance? opposite worlds colliding? good influence? let’s go crazy. release ur inhibitions. feel the rain on ur skin.

hook-ups: bradley’s cavalier abt this stuff..... very unemotional typically..... mayb we cld do an unrequited thing that wld be angsty n fun altho i won’t lie i don’t kno if she’d be the one to catch the feelings.... she rarely sleeps over bt once when she woke up in someone’s bed she hiked over to straddle them carefully as possible so they wldn’t wake up n then pressed her knife to their neck as a fun little surprise where she said boo when they opened their eyes.... she’s a lot clearly.

watermelon slugger, hiiii: bradley has this habit where she gets a bunch of watermelons n then goes to a rooftop n throws them over the edge to watch them explode when they hit the pavement.... maybe ur muse almost got hit by one once n were like WTF???????? another quirky meet cute moment like the bus one <3 can’t stop w them <3 maybe she randomly invited ur muse to do it w her when they were like. a stranger of f the street. she was bored. decided to adopt them as a science experiment. we cn elaborate on this probably....

ouch charlie: similar territory bt she also sometimes shoots pedestrians w a bb gun from rooftops. mayb ur muse wld always get hit by one on a certain route they walked n finally one day they saw her head ducking down behind a ledge n then they see her in the street one day n are like HEY IT’S YOU............. WTF? n bradley’s like ya i’m christ risen again it’s a lot to take in i know...

rly jst anything... mutually destructive friends... exes.... in one rp a character tried to get close to bradley so he cld write an expose all book about her n her family which i found so fking funny so i’ll request that again.... people she’s fought.... ppl whose gf/bf she’s fk’d n it’s caused enemy status.... someone whose place she broke into and shaved their eyebrows off in the night only to draw them on again in crudely thin permanent sharpie lines.... roommates cld be fun n sexy i’d love that actually.... jst anything rly. go wild. kisses everyone tenderly on cheeks.

#irvingintro #abuse tw #missing person tw #implied murder tw #grief tw #hospitalisation tw #depression tw #drugs tw #death tw #i think tht's all of them....... cor blimey......

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brw · 3 years

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Simon Williams

first impression - well, at first i only rlly knew him as the guy who has vision's brainwaves who also dated wanda! so i didn't rlly like him much, because obviously there are. those panels of him hurting her and beyond being a bad actor and also not rlly being great to vision those were. the only personality traits he had. but i got interested one day and decided to search him up and? discovered he had an Interesting Relationship with a certain hank mccoy and this didn't rlly add up to what i knew abt him previously so i was inspired to read some stuff and. then i was hooked hsjsjeje

impression now - honestly he is SO underrated. like he. gets written weirdly... a lot and its very obvious that a lot of writers dont know how to write him outside his relationship w/ wanda but he's honestly cool! he makes a lot of mistakes but he genuinely wants to do good for people and he also sees the best in everyone. like he was vocally in support of wanda, and seemed completely understanding & accepting of hank when he told him all the bad he'd done over the years. he's also canonically a victim of abuse at the hands of his father & elder brother, which still seems to effect him and his relationships even now. and that abuse makes his decision to be a pacifist all the more potent and meaningful. he's also been implied to have suffered from an anxiety disorder & an eating disorder so like. he is genuinely an interesting and compelling character, it's just a shame he so often gets reduced to "guy wanda sometimes dates who doesn't like vision and doesn't know how to act" smh :/

favourite moment - ooo boy... its hard to say. but. probably his arc where he calls the avengers out on their bullshit in what i think was avengers vol 4. and it's a shame they kinda fucked it over and chalked it up to him being unstable because he genuinely had points. he wasn't wrong. like sure i think. threatening to chuck the avengers tower or whatever into the sea was a little extreme but he did genuinely have a point. and also then straight up told hank he loved him so I'm. hsjsjhjehjjrje. this was a good arc anyway and it's a shame they ruined it. special mention though to his talk w/ hank in uncanny avengers vol 2 #28 (i think it was 28 but it could also have been 25 i. can't remember jsjsjej) because that was genuinely also super sweet and shows how he's willing to grow <3 another special mention to his scenes in vision and the scarlet witch because i think we deserve more content of simon and vision being good family members

idea for a story - with our current understanding of child abuse i would LOVE to see him explore his past and actually get help for it. because it did genuinely affect him for some time and while i think him becoming a pacifist did help i also know that. isn't enough to make years of repressed trauma go away lol. i also think were he to meaningfully think about what he went thru w/ his brother eric, he'd be better able to build a stronger and less strained relationship with vision. and i also think it would be helpful if simon, with our current understanding of eating disorders, had that be a canonical part of him. because he doesn't look like someone w/ an ED. and i think it would be important to see a man who looks muscular and healthy struggle w/ that. just generally. character development. i think it would also be good to bring up his issues w/ amora the enchantress (who was implied to have r*ped him) because while his 90s solo series did bring it up it was also. the 90s jajsjsjsjs. i just basically think something similar to his other series but with better writing and a better understanding of what we're talking about.

unpopular opinion - probably that his relationship w/ wanda is um very unhealthy, on both sides. on one hand, when simon was unstable he violently attacked her and tried to kill her. and that is... not good in the slightest, and him being in emotional distress and physically being unstable due to his ions doesn't excuse that in the slightest. simon also had an issue of putting wanda on an unattainable pedestal, which as someone who did that exact thing with a past partner is not healthy at all. you should be able to admit your partner has flaws and is human, and he did not and could not. but also, wanda hasn't been awfully good to simon either. like for a while she refused to be upfront about her feelings to him, and she slept with him while he was still in incredible emotional distress and upset. and imo because of that he. wasn't rlly in a position to meaningfully consent. so yeah. his and wanda's relationship, even without the relation to vision (which makes it worse) has never rlly been healthy.

favourite relationship - his and hank's! tbh it's probably the best one he has. those two. really love each other it is very sweet. they've both obviously grown a lot but i still think they're good/best friends and their relationship, romantic or platonic is obviously very important to the both of them. they're. very close together and i hope that at some point we can. see them be avengers together again because they were so funny sjshwnsnejen. but i also really like his relationship w/ vision when it's written well, because the two of them have. obviously been thru a lot in their own familial relationships so seeing the two of them have some semblance of "normal" with each other is very sweet. i also like the mental relationship of him being viv's uncle a lot. its not canon yet but i have hopes 🤞 he was a good uncle to tommy and billy growing up so by logic he should be a good uncle to viv too!

favourite headcanon - hmmm, probably the one i have now that he is jewish. idk it just. works with him! he is after all a kirby creation. but there's also one i have where he played the violin when he was younger, which also works with him. like idk. it's seems like a thing rich ppl make their kids do and it fits with him 😊

send me a character!

#thank you for asking!#rape mention #eating disorder mention #abuse mention #child abuse mention #ask to tag #artemisegeria #today on meta nobody cares about-#ask games} answers #💛💛💛#ch: the man of wonders!

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strvwberryblcnde · 4 years

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👫 ford nd bradley

send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

i feel like they have a recurring theme of rooftops.... they’re always hanging out on them historically in threads bt i also feel like they have a couple of different things they do on rooftops. obviously a staple is drinking an atrocious amt n smoking until their throats r hoarse with it bt. i feel like once bradley invited him to a rooftop in college n when he arrived she just had a duffel bag w a bunch of watermelons in. how had she lugged them all up there i honestly dnt know. n it would be a weird cathartic thing in a way of just. hurling them off n watching them splat on the pavement a few stories below. inevitably once bradley said smthn rly alarming bt she’d say it in her nonchalant way like. sometimes i picture it as my skull when it cracks open. all tht gutted fruit kind of looks like brain if u stare long enough. if u know what brain looks like. know what i mean? n she’d look at him n smoke n do a small smile like tht wasn’t the most horrific thing to say in a casual conversation..... Just Bradley Things <3 bt then also maybe this wld evolve into a fun thing where she brings a sharpie n they draw someone they kno tht pisses them off on the watermelon to give it a face before they toss it. she probably drew elias once n before she threw it she was like She Slept In My Bed! Sh-sh-sh-sh-she Slept In My Bed! pretending to remix him crying at the party tht time before lobbing it n laughing when it exploded into mulch. mayb once it hit a car windshield of a professor n the alarm started blaring n they were like. shit. n had to run away. bradley wld laugh as they ran she finds chaos amusing

i dnt think they’ve ever kissed tht i can recall???? n in a way bradley is probably kind of thankful fr tht. it’s like when ur a kid n u shut ur eyes like somehow that means the monster won’t b there bc u can’t see it. her eyes r very much shut to the concept of ever actually indulging tht want bc it just is clearly.................. a doomed possibility tht she knows shd be let go. black balloon by the kills playing in the bkground. even if they were in a situation where they got told to kiss as a dare or smthn like that i feel like bradley wld deflect from the dare being given n start roasting a random npc tht had given her the dare just fr the sake of shifting the focal point of conversation n avoiding it. it’s jst a bit like giving a crumb to a starving person n expecting them to nt want to eat more. it’s better to have nothing at all than to get a taste of something bt know u’ll never be allowed to feel full. he’s destined to get married n have bebes with vee n bradley knows this n knows she’s destined fr........ something else shall we say! reminds me of the new girl nick n jess scene where he doesn’t wna kiss her on the dare n she’s like why not let’s jst do it n he blurts out NOT LIKE THIS!!!!! n she’s like huh.... except the roles r reversed n bradley wldn’t say tht it’s just. the sentiment. it’s a nice daydream every so often when she’s drunk enough to nt be able to ignore it bt that’s what it’ll have to remain <3

ok so building from tht one time when she vanished fr a month to mexico n didn’t even contact anyone except fr ford in the form of rly weird concerning postcards when... she was unravelling a little mentally..... they were mostly incoherent n just saying random choppy sentences that didn’t quite cooperate with one another n just.... making strange jokes n doing little drawings n whatever..... bt i feel like there was one that was the least nonsensical of them all tht bradley never sent to him bt she just kept it fr herself n the front was a beach at night where nothing was rly visible except fr the moon in the water n everything was almost jet black. n on the back she just wrote “i don’t want to be scared any more.” bradley hates being vulnerable w her emotions so much n any admission of a bad feeling she categorises in her brain as stupid n childish bc of her dad’s brainwashing so idk if she wld ever share this w him n..... she’d usually expect herself to erase the evidence n rip this up into pieces n throw it away bt she just can’t bring herself to. she doesn’t know why. in a way it feels like the only physical manifestation of the trust she has in ford tht she’s ever been able to put her hands on n hold. n even if it makes her feel small tht isn’t something she can bring herself to get rid of. subconsciously she doesn’t wna give up on the idea tht someone is still capable of reaching her like tht

lastly. idk if u remember tht one time she lived in a loft n she ws rly depressed n she just let a bunch of randoms come in n party in her place all the time n she ended up w so many strangers jst.... squatting in her place n partying 24/7 she’d hv to lock herself in her bathroom if she wanted to b alone fr a minute to breathe in her own place... she jst was not doing well.... which was made most evident by the fact she splashed a bunch of black paint of her white brick wall n painted out a rly messy weird scrawled lump of a Thing with holes for eyes and teeth. it kind of looked like a wolf bt nothing Of This Realm. if we’re being real it ws meant to be her dad n how he’s always with her no matter where she is jst Looming. she was just.... Not Okay to say the least bt. i feel like one time she wld have greeted ford if he came over n she’d just b in her rage against the machine tank n no pants smoking lking so run down.... someone get her a banana bag iv..... some vitamins.... please im begging..... n anyway i jst feel like if he saw that on her wall n saw all the people there he’d evict them for her bc she was at a point where she honestly didn’t care abt anything so wouldn’t even think to do it herself n maybe he’d come back w white paint n go over it once she’d finally let herself crash enough off 45987425 drugs to get a few hrs of sleep..... jst like...... them being there fr each other is always thru indirect acts i feel rather than actual acknowledged words n. sighs. i can just see this being the conclusion to tht whole destructive narrative or at least an attempt to rectify it. again bradley hates being vulnerable bt she wld just rly briefly be like. thanks. nt even looking him in the face n then just change subjects like she hadn’t said it. ask if he wanted to go to a dive bar n shove ppl over in mosh pits so they gt stampeded like mufasa fr the thrill

#gasclines #bradley milligan | ford denvers #meme #suicide ideation tw #mental illness tw #abuse tw #drugs tw

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goldenscript · 7 years

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badboy!wooseok

meet jung wooseok, apparently music major extraordinaire with hella tats and a rep for being a badboy

but you personally know him at that lowkey annoying kid who’s Always falling asleep n coming in late in ur creative writing class

y’all met that first day when he wandered in and he just tapped ur shoulder mid-exercise to ask what was goin’ on n although u could’ve been a jerk n not said anything u threw the kid a bone n somehow his piece still surpassed everyone else’s a few days afterwards

ofc you get it. it’s college so being tired from classes and prolly work is what’s getting him but the little green monster on ur shoulder doesn’t relent bc this is where u learn time management and well

you see you love creative writing - you live, breathe, and think it a lot and it’s ur major so why wouldn’t u enjoy the one class that actually specializes in ur own interest???? and you work rlly gosh diddly darn to do it too bc writing really isn’t that easy

you’re one of those people that takes ages to get a piece out but bc this is a creative writing class you have weekly assignments and some pieces are hits n some are misses but u deal with it bc part of it is for the grade and another part of it is trying to get more experience in the field

anyway, unlike u, wooseok doesn’t seem to rlly try,,, that hard,,, or rlly,,, at,, all n that’s what ticks u off

ur the the kind of person who not just hates slackers, u abhor them n u suppose he tries rlly hard with his major since who wouldn’t??? but he doesn’t w/ urs n when ur teacher an english TA named Hui was talking to him abt writing before class he said it was soOoOOOo easy n u were p resolved to disliking the kid immediately

u just find ur seat near the back with the 30+ students n out of all the ppl to sit by,,,, he sits by u n u jst don’t try to think abt how much u dislike him n his dumb face tht’s starting to fall asleep AGAIN

but ok u sneak a small peek n u have to admit,,,, he’s actually pretty cute like u kno that he seemed p intimidating when u first saw him bc at first glance he’s this flippin’ hulking giant at like 6′2″ with tats up to his neck and sleeve u only get a peek of bc he’s enveloped in a huge jacket 99.9% of the time n he usually has furrowed brows n his lips pulled into a straight line unless he’s talking to hui or some other dude in his large ass group of friends bUT

the peaceful look on his face is different than those times n u kinda make a mental note of it even tho u most certainly are Not comparing his eyelashes to fluttering dark angel wings or his peaceful face to something akin to a statue in a museum

nope

no u r not

n- ok fine maybe a little

bUT it was part of the warm up assignment to write a snippet of literally anything n he struck ur mind in that split moment n now ur back to aiming a well needed elbow to his side bc hui scanning the aisles for a potential victim to share their piece as he usually does n although u dislike wooseok ur not that spiteful

and right as hui picks on someone right beside u two, wooseok wakes up n looks at you with this really grateful n apologetic look tht u whisper the instructions to him bc gdi ur a good person

he may fall asleep n sometimes comes in late or not at all but u won’t let him fall behind so long as u can help it bc green monster aside ur conscience would hate u

anywayyyyy this particular day is only a little different bc it’s become one of those days where 6 PM is when the sun goes down and it’s pretty dark n not many students are on campus bc hello no one likes being on campus at night,,,,, save for the few kids who have like bio or math discussion then that’s a blessing bc campus rush hour is no joke n u once almost saw ur life flash before ur eyes bc of a bicyclist

u prepared for the coming of night bc ur residence hall isn’t that far off n most of ur friends are at their dorms or beelining across campus so it’s a solo job, n so u’ve estimated abt 20 minutes walking n 15 minutes speedwalking,,, 10 if u jog but ur plan is to speedwalk bc ur bag is heavy with books from ur other classes so no thnx

the moment ur released from class u start making a beeline out of there bc once ur out it’s a hell of a lot darker than u thought and apparently the streetlamps aren’t as bright as u hoped but regardless u try to trek thru the campus as best as u can n preferably near the convenience store since it’s usually open 24 hours and u’d have a place to run into in case someone tried attacking u

but well things kinda go according to plan but not really

u make it prolly halfway before u see this dude just loitering around by the benches near the dark buildings n u try to walk a little faster bc u r Not trying to deal with that tonight

“hey where you goin’!” he says outta nowhere n u feel urself tense up just a bit

but ofc u look around hoping there’s someone else around n it isn’t just u but it is so u just nervously laugh, “oh yeah haha! just goin’ to the store y’know” bc the bright lights are just up ahead n if he lets u go then u can stay there n hopefully nag one of ur friends to come pick u up if he just doesn’t leave

n he’s just looking at u with feigned disappointment n goes “aw how ‘bout u just stay with me?” n he even dares coming closer

ofc ur ready to peel out of there but another part of u is pretty freakin’ scared bc oFC something just had to happen the first night n ur literal worst fear no less

you just shake ur head like “o no! my roommate’s waiting for me up ahead, y’know so i better get going,,,,,” n you’re already walking a little past him when he just takes a few steps and starts walking alongside u

“aw c’mon!!!! i can show u a real fun time hun. forget ur roommate”

“but-”

“i’m asking nicely, babe don’t make me repeat myself”

the nickname sets u off ur sure n ur just abt ready to tell him off with a glare and everything bc Who Does He Think He Is????? “look dude, i’m not ur babe-”

and then another voice joins right as he’s abt to step towards u n u recognize that husky, just woken up voice anywhere as he says, “take a hint. leave”

you actually look up at surprise bc wooseok gently tugs on ur wrist and puts himself between u and the creepy dude

u suppose the sight of wooseok is enough to scare him off bc right as the creep is abt to tell him off he catches one sight of wooseok and his eyes go so wide he just peels outs bc the look on his face is just screaming: “nope no way noooooooooooooo heck n o“

wooseok's so sweet like "are u ok???" bc unbeknownst to u, u’ve actually been shaking since that guy got so close and u can only manage a small nod but his features are a devoid of that furrowed brows and deep scowl with that dude

in fact his eyes are so soft under the orange lighting and he actually looks really worried bc ur fists are balled n u can’t seem to stop shaking so he goes “c’mon i’ll get u something to warm u up” n u just nod bc as scared as u were u actually feel a lot safer with wooseok there

like he even places his really large black denim jacket over ur shoulders n u feel urself shiver a lot less

so he takes u to the convenience store u were trying to make it to n it turns out his friend yanan works there

yanan’s a really handsome boy with a cast on his arm and his eyes seem to light up at the sight of u and wooseok but he doesn’t say a word bc of the look on ur face n the one on woo’s but he does flash u a friendly smile bc u look like u need it

wooseok gets the two of free hot cocoa n he tells yanan that he’ll pay him back for the drinks n that he’ll be back after he takes u to ur dorm n yanan says something like “i’ll add it onto ur tab” before u two go n wooseok’s reaction is a lil’ stiff n that has u like ??? but u don’t press bc u just want to go to ur dorm and shower and just not think abt what happened

although u aren’t talking, wooseok’s actually trying to make an effort and talk to u. mostly abt little things n he even gives u an analysis of the rlly rlly confusing piece u guys had to do n when he started mentioning what the blue curtains meant u couldn’t help but laugh bc it was silly n it didn’t really mean anything but u can tell he’s trying to make the mood much lighter n he breaks out into this shy smile n goes

“so that what it took to get u to smile huh?”

n u don’t say anything but a thank u bc the half-empty hot cocoa in hand n the walk back to ur dorm makes u feel better times infinity

he kinda just nods n says “yeah,,,, anytime u need someone to walk home with, i gotchu” n u want to tell him that it’s ok but he looks really serious as he says it so decide to nod

“really, thank you wooseok” you tell him right as ur in front of ur building n he just nods a little awkwardly which is still pretty endearing on him even tho it’s not quite what u expected of this supposed badboy

n he’s like “o well, um,, here.” and just grabs a pen from his bag n grabs a hold of ur free hand n scrawl his number on it n says “the next time y’know u need an escort,,, u can,,, erm,,, call or,, text me,,,” before he’s kinda really red in the face and stumbles his way back to the convenience store

when u get inside n the hot cocoa all’s done n gone n ur scrubbed clean of the day’s grime, u just kinda reflect to urself n decide that wooseok really isn’t that bad after all like u don’t see him as that annoying kid quite so much

now u see that he’s more or less tired from helping at that store n his analysis of the reading was pretty spot on n u just,,, well,, u feel warm and safe at the thought of him

even as u stare at his number still kinda decorated on ur skin, u can’t help but smile at his rosy cheeks

the following day u,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do not text wooseok

mostly of out fear bc u have no flipping clue what to say so when u see him in class on thursday he actually looks a little pouty w/ hui until he sees u walk in n u actually take a seat by his bag (tho u reason that it’s bc u usually sit there anyway)

as promised he walks u to ur dorm after class n u two actually talk together this time n it becomes a tradition to do that every tuesday and thursday

u begin to see more to him than he lets on in all that time like how he really adores his jacket bc his grandma bought it for him or how he actually plays the guitar and the drums bc at first he thought they were just cool but then he saw his fave band live n wanted to be like them (fun fact: it was cnblue) and the violin like he was good enough to win a prize and everything!

u also see how horribly misrepresented he is bc u hear from a few ppl how he’s no good, he’s a liar, n he’s eaten a live duck once n all that ridiculous stuff but u kno the truth bc he’s actually very truthful n bright n it actually makes u a lil mad that people would talk abt him like that

even more so when u hear some people talk abt how reckless he is n u tell him abt it bc you think he deserves to kno that there are bad things going on abt him but he kinda,,, just,,, brushes it off which leave u very ?? bc that is not the boy you’ve gotten to know n it’s certainly not the one that saved u either n u say so

n he actually looks like he wants to say something but he hesistates so u say “look whatever u did or do, you can tell me wooseok. i’m not gonna think differently of u. i know you’re a good guy”

he just sighs and says “but i’m really not,,, like i’m reckless and no good like that said,,,,”

but you’re absolutely certain that he is dead wrong n so are they so you just tell him to tell u why they’re saying those things n he admits to u that the reason why his friend yanan has an arm cast is bc of him

they had been sneaking into old abandoned buildings as hang out spots just cuz there were tons of unused places in the city n this particular one was near a construction place tht had patrols come by from time to time n this wasn’t any different but the boys didn’t know esp wooseok since he was the one who chose the spot and reassured everyone that it would be fine so when patrols came n they had to peel out everyone mostly made it except yanan who slipped and fell by the nearby construction

woo ran back over to help him out n they were mostly safe from the cops but the fall yanan made his arm bend funny so they had to take a hospital trip and ever since then wooseok has felt like crap and has been doing his best to make it up to his friend thru helping at the store n getting him to class even if it means he misses a few of his own bc it’s his fault n everyone else knows it

ofc u feel bad bc wooseok looks so dejected abt it n the only comfort u can offer him as his friend is ur support and ur reassurance that even tho he caused that to happen it doesn’t make him a bad person at all so u feel really frustrated n he notices,,, even looks at u in surprise like ???

“w-what’s wrong? why are you upset?”

so u quickly say like “!!! bc ur so kind wooseok! i know u keep saying ur a bad guy n those rumors ppl say r tru but u are so so so so unbelievably kind and sweet and even if no one else likes u then just know that i do ok????????”

while he’s just in shock, you continue with reddened cheeks and a resolve not to stop, “p-plus, there’s no need to be so harsh on yourself! so what if u skip class -actually not a so what you should definitely go to class pls ur paying to be here- but what i mean is that things like skipping or looking scary doesn’t mean ur a bad guy n no matter what people say i think you’re a good guy and and and your friends do too and i wish u could see that! i wish i could show u somehow and god i don’t know i just--”

and ok you look so adorable mid-spiel and flustered and even though ur attempts to articulate are beginning to fall short, wooseok can’t help but go thru with his impulses like always and just,,, kiss u before he pulls back ready to apologize but you pull him back in and u just kiss him ok

bc in all that time u spent together and in ur own upset, u realized u really really really flippin’ liked this boy and there was no other way you’d be this worked up over just anybody n with his lips against urs u just feel ur heart going even !!!!!!!!!! louder than ever

you pull back n say with a small smile “if u ever need reassurance then y’know,,,, i’m happy to give that to u ok?”

and he just has this goofy grin on his lips like “is this how you’ll reassure me?” and u nod and he just,,, pulls u into his arms n u both fall back onto ur bed just kinda looking at each other in this really soft light bc tbh he’s always had a crush on u since the start of ur class n some of those things like falling asleep and saying writing was easy was just his way of trying to get ur attention n to think he really did in the way he did makes him very happy esp knowing that u feel safe with him

and with you, finally coming to terms with the cold, hard truth that u indeed liked him too is nice bc the warmth and safety of his arms and being able to offer support and some sort of protection to him is all u ever really wanted to do - it happened so slowly and gradually but u have no regrets at all

also, lemme just say that the nine other boys in wooseok’s life absolutely adore u as they all kinda race to meet u bc you’re really all he ever talks abt next to yongwa n they find the two of u super adorable!!!

it’s actually an easy transition for the two of u to go from friends to s/o’s too bc you two have always been pretty touchy-feely in a really casual way and now you both have even more excuses to hang out and work on stories together or sometimes u go to his dorm just to hear him play his guitar even as yuto’s trying to study for his compsci test or how jinho n hongseok invite u to dinner with the group just so everyone else can watch u and wooseok be really adorable n really just being together is just,,, so nice??

like as friends u always had urges to reach out and hold his hand or kiss his cheek or even hug him really tight and now u can do those things! and even he would have moments where he just wanted to give u lots of back hugs and spinning hugs and just hugs and forehead kisses but he couldn’t so moving on from friendship and being able to do intimate gestures became a rlly fun pastime for you two!

and now whenever u hear anyone whispering abt wooseok or giving you funny looks, you actually throw a few responses at them in his defense and sometimes he has to drag u away bc u can get awfully scary when you’re mad and he just calms you with his tight hugs and he’ll get hot cocoa with u and you two will just walk beneath the stars n it’s just,,,

it’s nice being able to feel safe with your s/o and that’s what makes the two of you very content bc no matter what you’re each other’s rocks <3

#wooseok scenario #wooseok scenarios #wooseok fluff #wooseok fanfic #wooseok x reader #pentagon scenarios #pentagon wooseok #pentagon fluff #pentagon fanfic #emswriting

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ledamemangociana · 7 years

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wait...are people REALLY ACTUALLY HAVING ISSUES with kaylie’s reaction to scanlan in the last episode??? W H A T ?????

before i take you to the stuff under the cut, there’s an original thread here from this past weekend of my thoughts on people blaming kaylie for scanlan’s death (there is AN ACTUAL POST of someone ACTUALLY STRAIGHT UP SAYING THAT) and ppl looking at the situation and saying it’s another reason why they don’t want kids. like. gAIZE. whyyyyy. are we blaming fuck-up parents on their children. that’S. THAT’S FUCKED UP, GUYS.

look. i understand the want, the desire for happy endings and good parent-sibling relationships, especially in a story told in a game in which one of the enduring jokes is that the most dangerous occupation in the universe is “parent.” BUT think of what you’re actually doing by forcing either a happier or more dramatic reaction from kaylie in this situation. you are forcing her to care about someone who she grew up thinking could give two shits about her. you are forcing a debt on her which scanlan never asked for, and which she doesn’t actually owe. she doesn’t owe him ANYTHING, even with all his efforts to be present NOW. remember when matt said not ALL narrative is bright and positive? that goes for this situation too. sometimes someone dying doesn’t change how someone will feel about them. kaylie is what now, 18? maybe 19? and scanlan has only known of her for, what, 5 or 6 months? there’s SO SO SO much time there in which scanlan was pretty much dead to kaylie. and when she was looking for him, it wasn’t because she wanted a father in her life. so why should his actual death change that now, esp when there’s been so little actual father-ing from him since he found out? it would’ve been nice to see her care that much, sure, but it also would not make a lot of sense for her character narrative.

honestly, we need to stop telling people that family is the end-all and be-all of relationships. it’s brainwashing, and that kind of thinking has led to some grave results in real life, we all know this. this is a thing that i am personally trying to wean myself off - i love my family, i would die for them, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t hurt me, and that doesn’t mean i can’t be angry with them and want some space from them, and that doesn’t mean i can’t change my mind about them and wonder if maybe they don’t love me the same way anymore either. some people have bad and/or broken families. scanlan and kaylie sure are one. love heals a LOT of things, sure, but most of the time that shit takes time. forcing it to be instant or dramatic just pigeonholes character narratives into tropes. let things be complicated. even in the media we choose to consume. some stories don’t have happy journeys or happy endings, and some take forever to get to a happy ending. that’s what makes the stories mean something; if all characters and narratives were just happy or dramatic all the time, we’d tire of them quicker.

(that being said, i love that kaylie was told, and i love that they thought to try and get kaylie, but not for kaylie’s sake, because like i said, as much as kaylie is probably glad that scanlan actually cares about her and isn’t the selfish horndog prick she had [somewhat correctly] thought him to be before actually interacting with him. i like that they went to get kaylie for scanlan. in as much as kaylie is on the fence about scanlan, and rightly so, she became such a turning point for him that it makes complete sense for scanlan’s found family to try and at least notify his actual family, because - despite having said little about her to everyone else except pike - they knew she meant much to him, and in their attempt to bring him back, they went looking for his treasure. it’s a testament of the character development that he went thru, and an acknowledgement of the fact that he had gone from chasing romantic love which he knew he would never get from pike to relishing a different kind of love which was obviously enough to make him go from surviving day-to-day to thinking past tomorrow. and for the few things that matt has misstepped on, one of the things that i have strong faith in him is character narrative, so i have faith that should kaylie decide to try and help bring scanlan back, it won’t be a flower-y speech of “i never realized what i had until i lost it” because that’s not what kaylie is about with scanlan, it’ll just be about kaylie’s truth, and that’s what scanlan would want to hear, probably something more along the lines of “thank you for being a bit more than i thought you were” at most, maybe, although i would LOVE one tearful “you promised me you’d live but you didn’t and i guess that’s just ONE more disappointment you’ve given me” stinger.)

let kaylie not be able to take it all in. let kaylie not know how to feel about things. let kaylie not (yet?) know how much she’d be able to help in bringing scanlan back. let kaylie see only her side of the fence, the side she has lived on for most of her life anyway. let kaylie be kaylie. let kaylie be.

#critical role #scanlan shorthalt #kaylie shorthalt #critrole fandom critical #i juST???????#I USED TO LOVE YOU ALMOST UNCONDITIONALLY CR FANDOM WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU

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reversecreek · 3 years

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lily for magda (thinking about figs feeling evil), tulip for cricket, marigold for ziggy, chrysanthemum for bradley, belladonna for nyla

lily : how does your muse view their mother ?

magda doesn’t know a lot abt her mum. she knows vague snippets n details bt they’re all very elusive. it’s kind of a tricky subject where her mum’s concerned bc when she was younger she’d come up w all these assumptions abt how her mum was n who she’d be if she were with her but the rational part of magda was like..... u don’t know any of this. ur literally making things up. it’s kind of hard for a kid to have that vital person missing from their life n to resist the urge to fill in the blanks with their own projections so the space feels less empty. it’s like having a tooth missing n ur tongue always going back to poke at the spot in ur gum. there’s a constant reminder of loss in that. magda knows her mum liked to sing bc her dad said once she’d always sing to her belly when she was pregnant. this is a lot of the reason why magda has always cared so much abt music bc she took this fact in her fist n grasped it tight n never let go n in a way grew parts of herself around it. it’s like............. i feel like her mum dying in childbirth gave her lots of issues when it comes to her identity n like. who she is n who she wants to be.......... bc of magda’s issues w her dad i feel like she got into this habit growing up of rly putting who her mum could have been on a pedestal n basing everything around that.... she’d be like I’m More Like Her (a belief which was only accelerated bc her dad would drunkenly say she looked so much like her) n cling onto that so she liked herself more bc the other option was her dad who she loves but he’s also an incredibly flawed person n they hv a complicated relationship...... i think as she’s gotten older she’s realised her mum cld very well have been that way too n putting people on pedestals isn’t the way to go about things but. idk. as a kid she was kind of obsessed w this idea of her n this idea that her mum being gone was the beginning n end of everything wrong in her life. for the most part now magda accepts she never knew her n sometimes even feels stupid for grieving her at all bc she never knew her to grieve in the first place but. there’s a tiny part of magda tht still hangs on to the comfort of what she could have had n it’s obvious by the fact she still keeps a photograph of her folded up in her pillow. she loves the mum she made up in her head n she wishes she got to meet her. there’s this sense tht maybe then she wouldn’t feel like this culmination of missing parts more than a person if she’d had that in her life. sighs n lks away holding my dyed black emo bang.....

tulip : how does your muse view people in general ?

cricket is like. the strangest little anomaly of a person FGHKSFGHSFKGH bc like. u would rly think that after everything he’s been thru he would just have this absolutely jaded view of people and life in general and i wouldn’t even......... blame him for it if he did like. i’d understand completely bc he’s experienced A Lot of bad stuff. n yet somehow he just.... idk. i think i wrote in a reply once this comparison of cricket n a cockroach in the sense that they have this incredibly reinforced exoskeleton n even if they’re stomped flat they can keep living n bounce back from it n that’s very him but it’s more specifically the hope inside him. he has this little candle lit that good things can still happen midst all of the terrible things n i genuinely can’t see it snuffing out at any point even tho sometimes he might want it to. sometimes i think he even gets into these frames of mind where it jst infuriates the fk out of him bc in his head he’s like why do u even think good shit can happen when u have sm overwhelming evidence to the contrary but then he’s also like. look u can dwell on the bad or u can notice the way the light falls thru the leaves in the trees and u can think to urself inside ur head as u listen to someone u love talking abt something that makes them happy ‘hey this feeling is nice n there’s a dozen others like it’. idk. against all odds he’s an optimist. he has tinnitus in his left ear n sometimes he pretends the ringing is angels trying to talk to him. he likes to search for the silver linings in things to make them bearable n that’s how he gets by. obviously he knows there’s evil in the world n that a lot of people can be shit bc he has firsthand experience w that but he also believes there are people to serve as the antithesis to that n he wants to focus on them bc like. why give bad stuff the time of day. not necessarily always a positive coping mechanism (if u bottle up bad feelings n thoughts they leak thru one way or another aka his overwhelming anxiety) but like.... i think there’s a lot of bravery in that n i respect him for it i won’t lie. he cld have become very bitter bt instead he’s like that quote that’s like 'the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it'. suddenly slaps his little anxious rump (supportive) (affectionate)

marigold : is your muse prone to jealousy ? how might they handle envious feelings ?

it’s hard to say w ziggy............... i feel like he doesn’t want to think he’s prone to jealousy bc he’s like i’m literally a god wdym i simply wld never give a fk bc i know i’m above all else................. but like. do u actually believe that ziggy. do u. FKGJHKSJGHFGSHFGKSHGKFHG. he’s good at convincing himself at least........... has me fooled too most of the time. bt. thinks abt this.............. i feel like he doesn’t tend to get jealous over ppl he hooks up w a lot of the time bt there’s definitely a few select ppl he might.......... n then he doesn’t rly know what that feeling is bc he’s so unused to feeling it so he’s like wtf why am i so fking pissed off over the thought of this person fking that person? like literally doesn’t even. connect the dots n make the logical conclusion bc it jst seems so bizarre n nonsensical to him. rly is awful at working out his own feelings like. he cld just suddenly explode one day n have to smash a bunch of shit in a junkyard n after his chest is heaving n he has all this broken stuff around him n he’s just like yo wtf was that man forreal lmfaoooooooooo..... like he just doesn’t even get how his own emotions work it’s tragic n it’s men for u. w anxious feelings he represses them a lot he doesn’t rly understand what they r or know how to recognise them........... i honestly feel like he has a lot of anxiety surrounding his mum esp w her dating n like some of the guys they’ve both had to deal w that she’s dated in the past.......... i doubt he processes that healthily or expresses it healthily either..... probably contributes to the tensions between him n his mum they hv a lot of underlying issues that come out in the form of bickering n petty disagreements...... probably a huge contributor to him acting out so terribly in high skl was just all this pent up worried energy with no means of making sense of itself or like. place to go. like shaking a coke bottle over n over n finally having to crack the lid n let it fizz on something. i also think he probably swallowed a lot of jealousy growing up whenever other kids had gd relationships w their fathers or parents in general probably ws kind of like lmfaooooo yo why don’t mine love me like that. in his head...... so ya. i think he copes w anxious feelings by acting out n also fucking if we’re being honest......... it helps him let off steam <3 king of clapping cheeks ig....

chrysanthemum : how does your muse express romantic love ? how do they feel about love as a concept ?

bradley is kind of hard to read romantically like from an outside perspective but slides on my thin rimmed spectacles n picks up my scalpel to delve right in to the nitty gritty of her brain... omg... that sounded... kind of scary actually but. it’s ok. basically settles in. bradley struggles to verbalise her feelings in this regard but also in a general sense honestly.... like she’s spent a lifetime having any vulnerable or negative feeling shut down....... her dad’s the type of personality where it’s like... u can’t win. even tho he’s narcissistic n thinks he’s a god if u compliment him or express affection he’ll act pleased but there’ll also be this register in his eyes where he thinks less of u for it. so this rly had a domino effect in bradley’s emotional expression in all grounds of life...... romance is probably the most frivolous concept to tony so bradley definitely internalised some of these views n wld feel stupid for ever taking anything seriously in that regard or rly investing herself..... she also just. idk. love has only ever left bite marks in bradley’s world so she’d kind of like ‘why wld i ever expose my tender spots n open myself up to someone just so they can sink their teeth in’. i will say tho that like. despite that she can in rare instances develop those feelings n it’s always like..... quite a struggle for her when she does. she doesn’t rly understand it or how to deal w it. she finds talking about it hard n she feels childish or weak in the eyes of whoever knows how she’s feeling. it takes a long time n a lot of work to earn it bt bradley in love is like. ur the only person on the planet who knows how gentle she can b. she’d literally like. touch the face of this one guy i wrote her being in love w when he was sad so gently it was shocking it ws like a love tht deep unlocked a whole other part of her she didn’t know existed. sex is a big part of her love expression jst like. a lot of it. so much. JHGSFKHGSFGKHFKGSHG let’s get it.......... she’s a ride or die n doesn’t do anything in halves. she has a nasty habit of pushing good things away n also wld probably do this to protect the other person bc her world is a never ending shit show with her father’s presence in every room even when he isn’t physically there. she wldn’t wna subject someone she loved to the danger of that bc she hates it enough herself so. idk. smiles w hand on hip. love isn’t something bradley thinks is on the menu fr her bc she’s only ever known it to be hard or mean n why bother trying when that’s the case. it feels like there’s always small print attached tht will hurt her in the end n nothing is free or genuine. very doomed outlook on love in general tbh.

belladonna : how does your muse respond to silence ? do they take comfort in soundlessness , or seek to fill the void with noise ?

nyla honestly doesn’t mind silence at all........ they always wake up rly early in the morning no matter what time they went to bed. it’s like someone programmed an oven timer into their brain n often when they wake up at 6am or something they’ll go on walks around irving tottering in their own little world which is quite a quiet experience in itself when the rest of the world’s asleep........... always off on impromptu adventures they came up w on the spot.......... sometimes they get lost in their own train of thought too so they just randomly fall silent bc they’re having a whole conversation w themselves inside their head or like. writing a whole children’s story abt an iguana in a trench coat floating in a hot air balloon smoking a little vintage pipe all the way to peru. honestly for every 1 thing nyla says there’s about 4987295749572592745 things they don’t say tht are x100 times stranger n more nonsensical they sort of let it all drift thru their head like an open sieve for the most part. having said tht i think in order to sleep at night they probably need some sort of white noise or smthn................. it’s handy living in a beach house bc they just leave the window open to let the ocean gush bt sometimes if they’ve snuck into like. mido’s bed fr the night or someone’s bed idk the sound of them breathing works too................. they used to always sleep w bob ross playing on loop n that was rly comforting to them esp bc he reminds them a lot of their dad w his calming voice n energy.............. sometimes they’d have taken smthn n they’d literally hallucinate it as their dad instead of bob ross n this happened so many times in a row fr a period of time tht when they finally watched it sober they were like wtf since when did they recast my dad in this show...... KJHFGSHFGKSHFKGH but also. frowns... bit sad considering.

#magda | memes #cricket | memes #ziggy | memes #bradley | memes #nyla | memes #death tw #grief tw #anxiety tw #fortyfivcs #drugs tw #abuse tw #i think thts all tws theyre like not covered in detail obviously bt still #i put under read more bc i wrote literal essays fr everything idk what happened to me....#also thank u fr the ask sexy :yum:

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reversecreek · 3 years

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clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!!

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how.

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

#irvingintro #abuse tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #anxiety tw #violence tw #DOES A LITTLE JIG #admittedly i didnt include a formative moments section like my other intros bc idk what kind of superpowers i was inhaling the fumes of #for those intros but #i'm a mere mortal now.

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