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callboxkat · 5 years

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(Un)Broken - part 3

Author’s note: I’m back! It’ll be at least a week before you guys get another part, but have this one for now. :)

Warnings: self deprecation, headache mention, doctor mention, injury mention, food mention

Word count: 1579

Masterpost in the notes!

...

Patton walked into his apartment and quietly shut the door behind him. He slid the lock into place, then leaned back against the door with a soft sigh. He didn’t know why he was upset. He should be happy, shouldn’t he? He’d spent the evening bowling with his friends, after all.

He just kept remembering that moment, when he’d cheered about Logan knocking down those two pins—because Logan had been having a really hard time, and it was the first time they’d hung out together having fun like they had before his injury, and Patton had just been so excited to see him finally hit some pins! Logan, though, had clearly not been nearly as excited. Patton had seen how he rolled his eyes. Probably thinking that Patton was making fun of him. But Patton would never do that—Logan was one of his favorite people in the world!

Patton traipsed over to his sofa and threw himself onto it heavily, facedown on the cushions.

He knew that it was dumb. It was just one little thing, one little eye roll. It just hurt him to think that Logan might have thought poorly of him, even for a second.

He was distracted from his wallowing when his phone chimed its text tone at him. Patton reluctantly rolled partway over, just enough to grab his phone from his pocket and bring it up to his face.

Oh! It was Logan! Patton quickly swiped to open the message. It was a group text, sent out to all of them.

Logan: I greatly enjoyed our excursion to the bowling alley this afternoon. I hope that everyone else had as pleasant of a time as I did.

A second message popped up a minute later.

Logan: My apologies if I somehow lessened anyone’s enjoyment of the evening. I understand that especially while I am still in recovery, I am not the most ‘fun’ person to be around. Thank you for inviting me along.

Patton started furiously typing, but a series of other messages were already flooding in from Joan, Virgil, and Roman, all telling Logan that they’d had fun too, and yelling at him for implying that he’d somehow made the evening any less fun. Patton sent off his own message anyway, and as soon as he did, the notification that Talyn was typing their own response came up. Good. Logan didn’t get to talk bad about himself! Not on their watch!

Several long minutes went by, and then Logan responded.

Logan: Perhaps I misread the situation. Thank you for your assurances. It will not be necessary to ‘march over to my house’, ‘physically fite’ me, or hug me so tight that you ‘wring out the nerdiness’

Logan: Additionally, Virgil, I feel the need to remind you that Patton may decide to physically fight you if you continue to insist that gloominess is your area of expertise.

Patton paused, then scrolled up. He must have missed that message in the barrage of notifications. He found it—Virgil didn’t get to be self-deprecating either!—then scrolled back down to reply.

Patton: I will! I’ll fite both of you if I have to!!!

Virgil: Ok Pat chill, no fighting necessary

Patton: Good!

Roman: We should go bowling again. You all only got a glimpse of my skills.

Roman: (Virgils dont interact)

Virgil’s and Logan’s replies came through simultaneously.

Logan: I do think I would enjoy another such outing.

Virgil: You can’t stop me

The chat devolved into banter after that, mostly between Virgil and Roman. Patton just read the messages as they came through, not replying, until the others had to leave.

…

Monday rolled around all too quickly for Patton’s taste. He didn’t particularly want to get up early today, to go to class—one of them was math, after all—but he supposed there were bright sides. He did also have an art class today, and he would get to see his friends at lunch! He just preferred Tuesdays and Thursdays to the other three days of the school week because he had his actual classes with his friends.

Patton struggled through his morning class, which felt like it was moving at a glacial pace. He felt like he’d been there for so long. But finally, the bell rang; and with immense relief, he traipsed down to the cafeteria to meet his friends.

“I don’t blame you,” Roman said when Patton had finished sharing today’s math class woes. They and Virgil were sitting together, eating lunch in the cafeteria. “When are you ever going to need to know how to calculate a third derivative?”

“Exactly,” Patton sighed, putting his head down on the cafeteria table. “But it’s required, for my major….”

“You—you could always ask Logan for help,” Virgil suggested after a moment. “He’s pretty good at math.”

“Uh, yeah, I sure hope he is,” Roman said, his tone of voice mimicking that of a certain well-known six-second-video. “He’s a math major.”

Patton shook his head, but he did so without lifting it off the table, so it was more like he just rolled it morosely from side to side. “I don’t wanna bother him. He’s still got his concussion thingy to deal with.”

“C’mon, Pat, it couldn’t hurt to ask,” Roman said. “Besides, he could do derivatives in his sleep. Concussion or not.”

Patton just let out a soft, extended whine. If he hadn’t still had his head down on the wooden table, he would have seen Virgil and Roman glance at each other.

He felt a gentle poke on the top of his head. “What’s up?” Virgil asked.

“He’s gonna think I’m dumb,” Patton mumbled.

“Why would he think that?” Roman sounded genuinely confused. Patton could hear Virgil’s chair creaking as he shifted.

“Because he already does,” he heard himself whine. He knew he should just stop talking, but… whoops.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Virgil argued.

At the same time, Roman said, “That’s preposterous!” He normally had a habit of pronouncing it like ‘perpostrous’, which annoyed Logan to no end. He was pretty sure Roman did it on purpose at this point, evidenced by the fact that he said it correctly this time, when Logan wasn’t there.

“Logan knows you’re not dumb,” Virgil continued. “And it’s not like he hasn’t helped you before. What’s up?”

Patton sighed, gathered his willpower, and lifted his head from the table, sitting up. “I… I guess you’re right,” he sighed. He forced his features into a meek smile. “Sorry, kiddos. I’m just tired.”

“That’s okay.” Roman said.

“I mean… I get it,” Virgil said quietly. “Logan’s got stuff to worry about already. But he’s getting better, isn’t he? He’s allowed to drive and use phones and everything again. And it’s—it’s like Ro said, the stuff you’re working on is easy for him. I’m not—I’m not saying it is easy,” he amended quickly, even though Patton hadn’t been offended. “Logan’s just….”

“A huge nerd?” Roman suggested.

“A huge nerd. In a good way. Not being like him doesn’t make someone dumb. And you—” he fixed Patton with such an intense stare that the sophomore actually shrank backwards a bit. “You. Are. Not. Dumb. Nobody thinks you are. Not me, not Roman, not Talyn or Joan… and Logan sure as heck doesn’t think you’re dumb either.”

“But….”

Virgil was clearly running out of steam (that still happened sometimes when he talked a lot, though he was getting better) so Roman jumped in.

“If we’re not allowed to talk bad about ourselves, neither are you.”

Patton looked at them both for a second. Virgil was chewing the corner of his bottom lip and Roman had half a piece of Crofter’s-covered toast forgotten in one hand, but both were looking at him intently.

“O-o-okay. You’re right. I just got a bit silly, I suppose. I don’t like not understanding things.”

“We know,” Roman said. “You could always get someone else to tutor you, but I’m sure Logan’ll help if you ask…. Where is he, anyway?” He frowned slightly, leaning away from the table to look around.

Patton searched the room for a moment too, then glanced at the Mickey Mouse watch on his wrist. Logan should definitely have been here by now, if he were coming.

Virgil briefly chewed his lip a bit more intensely than before, then stopped and opened his mouth. “He—could he be sick?”

Roman sighed. “Probably… I hope he’s okay. Logan never misses class.”

That was true. The first time any of them remembered Logan missing class had been when he’d gone to the hospital after his accident. Logan valued class attendance too highly, and he was religious about hygiene, so he rarely so much as caught a mild cold. Recently, though, things were different.

“Could be another doctor’s appointment,” Patton mused noncommittally.

“I thought he had one on Friday, though,” Virgil pointed out with a frown.

Roman shrugged. “He’s probably fine.” He set down the toast that he seemed to finally remember was in his hand. “I for one am just glad he’s taking care of himself.”

Virgil nodded in agreement. Patton took a sip from his drink and didn’t respond.

“Hey…uh, you’ve got an art class today, right?” Virgil asked, changing the subject.

Patton nodded, brightening. “I sure do!”

“What are you working on?”

Patton turned to grab a little sketchbook from his backpack and opened it up, showing Virgil a few sketches as he talked about his current project. He knew Virgil was trying to distract him. He let him do it.

...

Tag list: @patton-loves-coloring @starryfirefliesbloggo @purplesoul-at-hogwarts @gaylotusthatexists @quoth-the-sparrow @awesomelissawho @amuthefunperson @faithfreedom @heck-im-lost @gayfandomsaremything @bunny222 @syndianites @astraastro @momolinia @captainswan618 @hamilin-manuel-miranda @goldenkiddos @afilhadehades-blog @virgeofselfdestruction @theresneverenoughfandoms @iris-sanders-athena @super-magical-wizard @rainbow-sides @thefallendog @fanficptsd @zodiac-awesome @lookitsthatquietgirl @nerd-in-space @pearls-of-patton @ab-artist @angered-turtle @im-so-infinitesimal @raygelkitty @dr-gloom @whats-going-on-kiddos @the-dumbster @oh-star-how-the-mighty-fall @fillyourteacup @kittiebrick @youtuberswithalex

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fan fiction #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #ts fanfic #fanfiction #(un)broken fic #unbroken fic #college au

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courtinggrievances · 7 years

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temptingannihilation

replied to your

post

HEY, I’M TOO BURNT OUT FROM *~*~RUNNING FROM THE...

woah what the fuck??

> Karkat; Send the log to your omniquad. You need to jam with him about this bullshit.

> Not just about the state of the log, but about.. some of the things you said in it.

Today at 1:03 PM

courtinggrievances HEY, HOW IS THE SHIT SHOOTING GOING?

eridacnis the wwhat god i evven forgot you existed

courtinggrievances THAT WAS A CONVENIANT WAY FOR ME TO ASK YOU HOW YOU'RE DOING WITHOUT SEEMING OVERLY CONCERNED OR WHATEVER, BECAUSE I'M A PIECE OF SHIT WHO DOESN'T CURRENTLY FEEL LIKE TRYING TO GIVE OFF THE IMPRESSION OF A STOIC INDIVIDUAL. ALSO THAT'S. WOW. ALRIGHT, I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING LIE, THAT KIND OF HURTS.

eridacnis hurts less wwhen i remind you that i havve the wworst possible memory and from time to time forget im married to cas

eridacnis but also i dont think theres evver a situation wwhere im not feeling like utter shit

courtinggrievances I MEAN, I GUESS. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THOUGH, I FEEL IT. IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR REASON YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT TODAY?

eridacnis wwell this time its just nightmares hauntin me constantly and me just not bein able to sleep normally at all for the past twwo wweeks and im slowwly at the end of my nervves

courtinggrievances HOLY SHIT, YOU AND ME BOTH. WHAT ARE YOUR NIGHTMARES OF, I'M CURIOUS HONESTLY. LET'S SEE IF THEY'RE SIMILIAR TOO.

courtinggrievances MINE ARE JUST, YOU KNOW, THE CASUAL BLOODSHED AND OBLITERATION OF TROLLMANITY THAT PLAGUES NEARLY EVERY TROLLS DREAMS, BUT AS RECENT AS LAST NIGHT THEY KIND OF GOT... WORSE.

eridacnis shrug trauma dreamin of exes wwho treated me awwful failin to take care of people and things and some other i just forgot

courtinggrievances ):B

eridacnis yeah Today at 2:59 PM

eridacnis so is that all you got to say

courtinggrievances SORT OF? I JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN AND SEE HOW YOU WERE, I KNOW THINGS SUCKED EARLIER. FAR BE IT FROM ME TO ACTUALLY SHOW SOME GENUINE FUCKING CONCERN BUT, IT IS WHAT IT IS I FUCKING GUESS.

eridacnis wwell thanks for nothin then

courtinggrievances I THINK YOU MAY HAVE MISREAD THE TONE OF MY TEXT. WHAT I'M SAYING HERE IS THAT I'M SHOWING CONCERN FOR YOUR WELL-BEING EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT IN MY NATURE TO REALLY DO SO. IT'S A TESTAMENT TO US BEING FRIENDS THAT I EVEN SAID SO, YOU KNOW?

eridacnis you showwin me your concern by sendin me a stupid sad emoticon and then fuckin off isnt gonna make me feel any better so no i dont think theres somethin i understood wwrong there

courtinggrievances ALRIGHT, SO WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO, THEN. GO INTO YOUR PAN AND STOP THE NIGHTMARES FROM OCCURRING? MY DUDE, IF I COULD DO THAT, I WOULDN'T BE HAVING SO MUCH SHIT IN MY OWN DREAMS.

courtinggrievances I'M SORRY YOUR EXES WERE SHIT, I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY, BUT THAT SHIT SOUNDS LIKE IT SUCKS GLOBESPHERES AND I HEAR IT HAPPENING SO MUCH ALL THE GODAMN TIME, BUT I'D LIKE TO JUST NOD MY HEAD AND LET YOU KNOW I HOLD SOME GENUINE FUCKING CONCERN FOR YOU WITHOUT IT SEEMING FAKE AS FUCK. I CAN'T EMPATHIZE BUT I SYMPATHIZE.

eridacnis yeah wwell you done evverythin you could to seem fake as all fuckin hell so good job wwith that you really suck at this

courtinggrievances THANKS FOR THE NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WANTING TO ACCOMPLISH BY INVALIDATING MY CONCERN, BUT IF IT WAS YOU STOPPING ME FROM REACHING OUT TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN, CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS, YOU SURE FUCKING SUCCEEDED! SURE STOPPED ME FROM WANTING TO REACH OUT TO PEOPLE I CONSIDER TO BE FRIENDS!! YOU REALLY SHOWED ME!! WOW!! I'M *FUCKING* IMPRESSED!! YOU REALLY BOOSTED MY FAITH IN MYSELF OF MY CURRENT 'BE A GOOD FRIEND' CAPABILITIES!!!

I'M GLAD I COULD LEARN THAT I'M A SUCKY FRIEND TO YOU AND PROBABLY TO EVERYONE I TALK TO ABOUT HAVING **GENUINE FUCKING CONCERNED FEELINGS**, BECAUSE HEY, FOR YOUR FUCKING INFORMATION, THAT'S HOW I ASK PEOPLE HOW THEY'RE DOING WITHOUT SEEING FUCKING CLINGY, BUT YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.

I'M GLAD YOU SHOWED ME THE ERROR OF MY GODAMN WAYS!! I'LL CERTAINLY NEVER TROLL YOU AGAIN TO ASK ***HOW YOU'RE FUCKING DOING*** BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY I SUCK TENS OF THOUSANDS OF AMOUNTS AT BEING A ****GOOD FRIEND****.

THANKS!!! I'LL REMEMBER THIS. FOREVER. YOU'VE CHANGED MY LIFE.

courtinggrievances BREAKING NEWS FLASH; KARKAT "COURT" VANTAS SUCKS AT BEING A FRIEND. HIS EFFORTS AT REACHING OUT RESULT IN HIM GETTING HIS *~**~FEELINGS~~**~* HURT. MORE AT ELEVEN!!

eridacnis thanks for the slice of guilt trippin after me not bein happy wwith somethin you did to me

courtinggrievances HEY, I'M NOT GUILT TRIPPING YOU AFTER YOU INVALIDATED MY EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS AND GENERAL STATE OF BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU.

I'M TELLING YOU, STRAIGHT UP (WHILE BEING SARCASTIC AS FUCK BECAUSE THAT'S WHO I AM) THAT YOU HURT MY FEELINGS BY TELLING ME, IN NOT SO MANY WORDS, THAT YOU THINK MY CONCERN IS STUPID, THAT I DIDN'T HELP, AND THAT I SUCK AT HELPING FRIENDS SO I SHOULDN'T EVEN TRY.

eridacnis i mean you didnt evven try wwith me is all im gettin at and if a friends not wworth the effort then yeah you suck at keepin friends

eridacnis god i cant believve im the one havvin to givve you a lesson there

courtinggrievances HOW THE FUCK YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT DREAMS ABOUT YOUR EXES IS BEYOND ME. LIKE I SAID, I DON'T HAVE ANY, AND I SAID THAT TO AVOID THE AGE OLD ARGUMENT OF PEOPLE GOING 'YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL!!' BECAUSE I FUCKING DON'T, BUT I'M STILL HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOU.

eridacnis if someones upset you dont just send them an emoticon and leavve it at that its not that fuckin easy you talk to em try to figure out wwhat you can do for em like talkin about the shit that happened or just simply distractin em

courtinggrievances IF SOMEONE'S UPSET, I SEND THEM AN EMOTICON TO JUDGE HOW MUCH THEY WANT TO TALK. SOME FUCKS JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.

eridacnis its sad enough that me eridan ampora has to teach you that more like you wwanted to be left alone cause you didnt care enough as soon as i said is that all you wwere like yeah thats all like if my question wwasnt enough to tell you that i awwaited more then i dont knoww wwhat to tell you buddy

courtinggrievances HOW THE FUCK DO I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, I'M THE ONE THAT TROLLED YOU. ALSO, I DIDN'T JUST SAY 'YEAH'. I SAID, SORT OF, AND A HUGE PARAGRAPH OF WHAT I WANTED.

eridacnis yeah you started the convversation but you cut it off too in the middle of me talkin about my problems wwhich is the most awwful fuckin thing to do

courtinggrievances I'M SORRY. I GUESS I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS DOING THAT. TOO BLINDED BY OWN OWN FUCKERY AND HURT FEELINGS BULLSHIT TO REALIZE I STEERED THIS CONVERSATION IN A DIRECTION THAT WAS ABOUT ME. IT'S NOT FINE AND I GUESS I'LL FUCK OFF. MAYBE I'LL TRY TO SLEEP.

eridacnis yeah wwell maybe next time actually think about other people wwhen you wwanna help em oh yeah and noww you wwanna run from it great just great

courtinggrievances YOU EVER TRY TO SLEEP WITH SYMPTOMS OF A CONCUSSION? FUCKING SUCKS.

eridacnis oh no poor you all about you again

courtinggrievances HEY, NEWS FLASH, I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING MOIRAIL.

eridacnis yeah and not my friend either

courtinggrievances I WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR PROBLEMS BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU GET ALL CAGEY ABOUT THEM AND TELL ME I SUCK AT LISTENING, I WANT TO LEAVE. I JUST WANTED YOU TO TELL ME ABOUT THEM!! I WAS TRYING TO STEER THE CONVERSATION INTO THE DIRECTION OF "BEING UNABLE TO SLEEP" AGAIN BUT, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER. I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO GO "BOO HOO YOU WHINY BRAT, YOU'RE JUST LEAVING" YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME GO THE FULL FUCKING MILE HERE, IF I'M GOING TO MAKE THE CONVERSATION ABOUT ME.

eridacnis oh boy

courtinggrievances FIRST OFF, I'M FUCKING SORRY YOU CAN'T SEE THAT I ACTUALLY WAS TRYING TO SHOW SOME CONCERN.

I'M SORRY THAT'S A BIT HARD FOR ME, BECAUSE HONESTLY OUT OF THE (2) TWO!! PEOPLE I COME TO SEE HERE ON TUMBLR, YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONLY!! ONE!! I ACTUALLY MAKE IT A POINT TO ASK HOW THEY'RE DOING. I'M SORRY I COULDN'T SEEM MORE ENERGETIC ABOUT SHOWING "KINDNESS" AND "COMPASSION" AND BULLSHIT LIKE THAT, I'VE GOT A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER MALARKEY ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW!!

SPEAKING OF WHICH, LETS TALK ABOUT THAT, AND ENERGY LEVELS, WHICH IS SOMETHING I DON'T REALLY SEEM TO HAVE, WHICH IS AS I SAID, A FUCKING PROBLEM FOR ME. I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I FUCKING CHOSE TO NOT HAVE ANY ENERGY. IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT TO HAVE ZERO ENERGY TO TALK TO MY SUPPOSED 'FRIENDS', I JUST REALLY DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE RIGHT NOW.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE FOR THE PAST TWO PERIGEES? I'VE WALKED. I'VE WALKED THROUGH SCRUBLAND AND BRAMBLES AND ALL SORTS OF THE MOST HORRENDOUS TERRAIN YOU COULD THINK OF. AND I SAY 'WALKED' LIGHTLY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, WE COULD BE BEING FOLLOWED, AND WE EITHER HAVE TO MAKE TRACKS QUICK OR JUST FUCKING LAY DOWN AND DIE.

THOUGH, YOU KNOW, I THINK THE DRONES HAVE THEIR SIGHTS ON OTHER THINGS, SINCE I'M FAIRLY SURE THEY THINK US DEAD SINCE THEY RAIDED OUR LAST SAFE PLACE AND BURNT IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND! BUT YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T KNOW! I DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THAT SHIT MUCH RIGHT NOW, MOSTLY BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY TRYING TO KEEP TEMP FROM FREAKING OUT AND NAYA FROM BECOMING EMOTIONALLY DISTANT, KEEP THEM FROM JUST FUCKING LEAVING THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL DEADWEIGHT BEHIND FOR THE DRONES!!

AND YOU KNOW, I'M REAL FUCKING SORRY I CAN'T REALLY HELP YOU ABOUT THE TRAUMATIC NIGHTMARE BULLSHIT, BECAUSE, PERSONALLY, I HAVEN'T SLEPT MORE THAN SIX HOURS IN SIX DAYS, BECAUSE, HAHA!! WELL, EVERY TIME **I** CLOSE MY EYES I SEE INDIGO CLOWNS RIPPING TROLLS HEADS IN HALF BY THEIR HORNS, AND HEAR THE SOUND OF MY PANMATTER HITTING MY SKULL FROM WHEN I GOT TOSSED INTO A WALL BY AN IMPERIAL DRONE TWICE AS TALL AS I AM!! I WISH I COULD HELP YOU ABOUT YOUR EXES TOO, AND I FEEL LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING I SHOULD BE ABLE OT FUCKING DO, BUT I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO PULL SOME RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OUT OF MY ASS CURRENTLY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I'M TOO BUSY ***RUNNING FOR MY LIFE FROM THE GODAMN EMPIRE*** OR DID YOU FUCKING FORGET THAT WAS A THING THAT WAS HAPPENING?

YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING THOUGH, I DIDN'T SEEM LIKE I CARED, AND I KNOW IT'S ONLY AT FACE VALUE, BUT I DO, YOU KNOW? I'M SORRY, REALLY AND TRULY ACTUALLY, AND I FUCKING HATE IT, BUT I JUST DON'T APPARENTLY HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO CARE *~~PROPERLY**~* ABOUT MY FRIENDS, BUT HEY, AT LEAST I FUCKING TRIED, YOU KNOW? TO SEE HOW YOU WERE DOING. NOT THAT IT MATTERS MUCH BECAUSE IF I FORM ANY FRIENDSHIPS WITH ANYONE, THEY'LL PROBABLY ALL GET CULLED, HAHAH, BECAUSE I'M BURNT OUT AND FUCKING WORTHLESS AT CARING FOR MY FRIENDS, SO YOU KNOW, FUCKING WHATEVER!!

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT ME ANYWAY, YOU JUST WANT ME TO LISTEN TO YOU AND WHILE HEY, I'M ALL READY TO LISTEN, I'M REALLY JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW NICE IT WOULD BE TO CLOSE MY EYES AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING AMBUSHED AND CULLED, BUT THE LAST 'SAFE' PLACE WE WERE IN WAS LIKE FIVE FUCKING PERIGEES AGO AND IT'S REALLY!! REALLY!!! GETTING TO ME THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS TO GIVE A SHIT IF WE'RE CAUGHT, BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TOO FUCKING NIHILISTIC TO CARE IF I BECOME PAINT FOR THE FLAGSHIP MY OMNIQUAD WILL HELM IF THEY CATCH US.

YOURS **~*FUCKING*~* TRULY, KARKAT "RUNS HIMSELF INTO THE GROUND FROM WANTING AND FAILING TO BE ABLE TO HELP THE PEOPLE HE CONSIDERS HIS FRIENDS, ONLY THAT NUMBER IS MINUS ONE NOW SO I GUESS HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT FRIEND ANYMORE, BUT HE'S GOING TO BECAUSE HE'S (KARKAT, ME) AN ABSOLUTE CHUMP" VANTAS.

#temptingannihilation #hey mags look #eridacnis #read ooc #uh #somewhat graphic mention of violence #in a single instance #in the context of talking about nightmares

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