#and im pretty sure the creator hasnt said a positive comment about the scene

[mx-paint]

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#ignore me on the topic again but for a different story #the part of the story that they dont bring up is the noncanon one thats a consensual roleplay #but they dont bring up the one where hes drunk? #but. i think that has more of to do with the fact its clear that its not meant to be protrayed. in a good light #like he originally was asking him if he liked him while he was drunk #but then he pulled him into the bathwater and kissed him #and even though they didnt go 'all the way' its still highlighting how fucked up he felt when he realized what theyd done #bc when he finally snaps out of it and he realizes he apologizes (if im remembering correctly) and plans to stay away from him #at least for a bit #bc while he was the one who initiated it #he was drunk #and he knows what he did was beyond terrible to the point hes planning on leaving forever again #but rhe other might have been thinking on the fact that he did something similar #with forcefully kissing him while he was blindfolded #and wasnt in a position to know who it was or get away #but. its the fact rhat neither of these are portrayed in a good light #and im pretty sure the creator hasnt said a positive comment about the scene #but bc its jn the book. and some people find it apperantly hot despite the canon descriptions. #that the creator Must have Meant for it to be so #despite never making a comment on either #idk

[fairy-made]

I dont think I ever said anything about this, but when I replayed the skyrim romance mod after it got an update a while back, it seemed like someone read my random comments about it and like....actually tweaked the mod?? which is really cool imo. putting this under a cut since I think the mod still generally has a bad rep, even though it seems like theyre working on that in some capacity. I didnt really even know what the drama was about in the first place.

literally everything I talked about that could be fixed within a reasonable amount of time was fixed. back then (~3-4 yrs ago) I was a little more tolerant of the “bad boy, borderline abusive” type and while the character himself seems to be intentionally pushy, it seems to be a bit better. if I remember correctly, I think they cut the rapey bits and just worked around it so that bishop was still a brat about your player not wanting to have sex, but not a scary horny nutcase. theres a big difference between “youre gonna have sex with me one of these days wench!!” and “ugh, fine, be like that!” its def not A+, but it is an improvement that still suits the character. I obviously wasnt too bothered with the earlier version back then (had some stuff I was going through), but now I can see the concern, and to me its less cringey. Id have to replay it again to see how I feel exactly, but Im sure its better at least.

they re-did the whole interaction with cael so instead of him talking about how he could give you orgasms like youve never seen, hes cautious of you yet still kind of flirty. a real sweetie. I mean, I like the new bit, but he could also let me know hes dtf a little bit. lmao thats just me though. 

the one thing I did not like too much was that they added animations for the sex scenes, and that you had no choice but to sit through them (unless you said no to sex altogether). since I literally set the camera so that I could not see the sex anims, I did get to hear bishops VA during the scenes and Imma just say.......... you should hear them. even if its just the once. lmao. I read that theyre gonna cut out the sex mod dependencies so that you can just have fade to black scenes, and I am for that 1000000%. 

now I just hope it gets ported it to the special edition, because it seems waaay too hard and time consuming to do it myself. I tried to start but the list of tasks was just too long to justify working on when I have homework and other stuff to do.

outside all that, I can see why there was such a bad vibe surrounding the mod at first. it all made sense when I read about the drama on reddit, but the harshness  was a bit... much?? from what I read, the creator made some bad choices and eventually acknowledged/fixed them. her reasoning and intentions for making them could be questionable, but people are human, idk what else to say. Im just... not grabbing a pitchfork over this and I fail to see any reason to continue that now lmao. she obviously still wants to hold everything together for the mod and do things better so... Im not gonna hold a grudge even if she made bad choices. she ultimately canceled the kickstarter, and this is all ultimately over a mod. a skyrim mod. you either wanna play and support it or you dont because of very valid reasons. its up to you. but either way it just will never be that serious.

I honestly got the impression that she might be a bad person from stuff I read until I got the chance to read about everything, and then I was like wow.. she fucked up, but the worst thing she did was undone the same day it happened so...like... yall couldve just went on about your lives and left this woman alone. 

anyway, long talk. it seems like the mods at a standstill, since it hasnt been ported to the SE yet and I dont think the creator herself has made any announcements about actual updates coming soon. but I actually hope things stay positive for the mod. 

(also psa, this is for my followers/mutuals if there interested in talking about it. Ive tagged this for the sole purpose of being able to be filtered by those who dont want to hear anything about it.)

Update: so I downloaded the beta for the SE. it wasnt working for me as the dialogue would seem to break anytime after I used racemenu. I literally cant play skyrim without changing my hair, and the person in charge of the beta said to try playing it on a no-rush new game so... I kind of gave up. I had started over twice after already sinking 4-8 hours into those 2 new games, specifically for the mod, and I just didnt feel like doing it again.

Replaying the bits that I could, I will say it is... kind of cheesy. Doesnt bother me much though. I used to write bad fanfiction, so its not the worst. Its just not impervious to being... cheesy at times. Idk how to put it lol. Maybe you could say its tropey? Like something youd read in a romance novel with those dramatic traditional cover illustrations. Not bad. Just, if you hate that kinda thing, you might not be into it. Im not very critical because the alternative is like. 1 other mod? So I just dont mind.

Outside of that I kind of have no idea what my complete opinion is on it now. I intended to find out, but gave up due to modding issues. I was a little younger when I first played it, so I may have different opinions on it now. As I mentioned before my opinion of sex and certain character traits used to be different, and its changed a lot since then. Its still kind of changing even now. I still go “yeah... that was the trauma” about stuff I used to think was not so bad.

To be honest I didnt even remember having an opinion of it as cheesy a few years ago, but now after replaying for the 3rd time Im like... from what little Ive seen so far, its some pretty sharp cheddar lol. So if it is a lot worse than you felt you were led to believe from reading this, Im sorry, and you can inbox me about it. Especially since I may not ever even play the newest version.

#skyrim romance mod #long post