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dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 163 prt 2

“Lance? You okay?”

Keith had a worried look on his face. Lance giving a small shake of his head as he forced a smile that didn’t feel quite so fake when he was staring at Keith

“Yeah. I got caught up thinking about Vee again. Sorry, I’m mostly okayish. Totally distracted but you know...”

Rieva asked

“Will you contact them?”

“I think I’ll send Veronica the photos. Not... for her sake alone, but for her daughters. Mami was proud of them and I don’t want them to forget her. Besides, Keith helped me remember the really important thing. I do have a family. Hell, we’ve got a whole pack to support us. I’ll have to ask Coran if he can pull the data off my phone even when it’s smashed”

“Do you want me to take a look? As long as it’s not too broken I might be able to salvage something”

Lance didn’t want to tell Matt no. Sometimes I was easy to forget he was an absolute technical wizard. Unless Pidge was there and the pair of them were off speaking what may as well be another language. Only, the phone was designed by Coran, or for Coran, with Blade technology. He didn’t want to accidentally get Matt into trouble

“It’s cool if you don’t, just thought I would offer”

His expression must have showed. He’d managed to hurt Matt’s feelings without meaning to

“I was thinking how it’s Blade tech. I don’t want you to get into trouble by helping me”

“The Blades totally owe us for Rieva rallying the pack to bring down Zarkon and Honerva”

Lance shook his head. The Blades were a bunch of weirdos with their own rules

“That’s beside the point. You’re family, I don’t want them thinking we’re scheming something. I’m enjoying not having death hanging over my head”

Matt nodded, thankfully understanding that it really wasn’t personal

“Us too. Seeing you’re not going to feed us, I’m going to become one with the sofa. What about you, babe?”

“I want to finish my book tonight. Will you two join us in the living room?”

That’d be nice and all, but Lance wanted sleep and cuddles with Keith when they’d finished their dinner and the dishes were done

“No offence guys, but I think I’m going to take Keith up to bed when we’re done. Today’s totally drained me”

“That’s okay. I’m glad you recognise us as family. We’ll always be a pack, don’t forget that”

Lance smiled warmly at Rieva. She probably hadn’t noticed but her English was so much better now, plus she didn’t seem to struggle to find the right word for what she wanted to as much as before. He was grateful to have her around

“I won’t. It really means a lot to have you guys here. I don’t think I would have handled today quite so well if you two hadn’t behaved”

“Yeah, if you call Rieva scaring Rachel behaving. I nearly turned back laughing when Rachel put two and two together”

“And I nearly slapped her for the way she spoke to Lance. I do not see how you and Miriam can be so lovely when she...”

Lance didn’t want to hear the rest of what Rieva thought. Rachel was still his sister and she’d been through so much

“Guys. I know you want to support me, but they’re still... I don’t want to talk about them like that. Rachel went through the worst of it. She was still at home when I was going through puberty. Ego’s during puberty aren’t fun at all”

Rieva nodded. Yeah. She got it. It wasn’t enough to be a mess of hormones, but a mess of hormones with an ego... it fucking sucked

“I remember that too well. Call us if you need us”

“I will. Thanks, guys”

Left alone again, Lance moved his chair closer to Keith, waiting until the TV was turned on before humming softly. This was nice. Being with Keith was nice

“Yes?”

“Just thinking I love you”

“I love you, too. I’m sorry if I upset you being mad at your sisters”

“I get it. You know what I’ve been through and want me to be happy. I never thought they’d show up with the cops... and I’m not that okay with talking about them in a mean way”

“You don’t have to explain. I don’t get it. I mean, I do but mostly I don’t because Shiro’s the closest thing to a real brother I’ve ever had, but we didn’t grow up together”

“I think you’ve grown up plenty. But it is different. I remembered today why I got into family law, after seeing my own family falling apart at the seams. Part of it was penance, trying to make up for existing, and part of it was that I didn’t want kids to suffer going through parents splitting and violence. Even now I can still remember some of the fights Mami and Papi got into. Papi tried to understand in his own way but it was hard on him and Mami. The idea of never hearing about them hurts, but I have you, and I have everyone else and I need to keep reminding myself that I don’t have to keep apologising”

Keith moved to kiss his cheek, his smile loving as his eyes seemed to sparkle with happiness

“Even if I nearly make you wet yourself?”

“Dude, I don’t think you understand what it’s like. All I wanted to do was keep laughing at your bad accent”

“My accent was amazing”

“Amazingly bad... I love how you make me laugh”

Keith snorted

“You’re about the only person that finds me funny”

Nah. That wasn’t true, Keith was hilarious. Especially with that awful accent that worked like magic on him

“That’s their loss. I told my sister’s I’m pregnant. I mean, I can’t hide it, and even if it makes people awkward as long as you’re okay with it, I’m going keep working at being okay with it. These cramps suck, but we’ve made it over the halfway point, so it’s okay to believe it’s going to be okay, right?”

Lance had no idea that Braxton-Hicks would initially feel as weird as they did. They hurt a little, but were more weird. Reading about something was way different to going through it. In a way it’d been liberating to say it out loud. Almost like announcing he’d never be as happy as he was now with Keith and his family. That was kind of true. He’d been happier when Mami was alive, but there was no limitation of grief, and when he was down, he had Keith to kiss away his pain.

“Yeah. As long as you learn how to take it easy”

Fuck, he loved Keith. Teasing and all

“Rude. I was taking it easy today. Babe, you should have seen it. Blue and Kosmo were curled up with Matt and Rieva. I wish I’d gotten a photo of it”

“That would have been pretty cute. Where were you in all this cuddling?”

“Leaning against Rieva, reading to her. We had kind of a doggo spa day. I groomed her and Matt, and Kosmo and Blue. Then I made the most of having trouble werewolves to use hot water bottles”

“Babe, I don’t think you actually know how to take it easy. I’ve had my suspicions for a while now, but the point of taking it easy is to do nothing”

Keith couldn’t talk, he was literally the worst of them all at sitting still. Besides, it’d been bonding time for their little pack, the only thing that would have made it even better was if Keith had been home

“It was fun grooming Matt and Rieva. They malt so much that I had enough hair to give Matt a a full beard. Thanks for helping out Hunk today”

“They’ve done a lot for me so it was kind of the least I could do. You’re right though, I’m ready for bed”

“Wanna skip dessert and go upstairs instead?”

Lance hadn’t meant it as flirty as it sounded. Keith had helped him through his not-heat, and deserved some proper pampering

“Why there, sir, are you propositioning little old me?”

Lance groaned as the accent came out again. His boyfriend was such an idiot

“I was thinking of getting on top of you and giving you a massage”

“Or, I could give you a massage”

“As tempting as that is, I’ll take a rain check on it. You’ve spent the day working hard, I want to make you feel relaxed”

“I’m relaxed when I’m with you”

“Then think about relaxed you’re going to be afterwards”

“I’m going to be asleep”

“I’m down for that. Let’s finish dinner already so I can throw it all back up”

“That doesn’t sound romantic when you put it that way”

Lance wrinkled his nose. Vomiting was not romantic

“It’s not, but it was fun cooking with you beside me. We make a good team”

Lance meant it sincerely. Keith had come a long way in his kitchen skills... even with the potato massacre

“The best team of all, babe”

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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otheroutlandertales · 5 years

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An Ian and Rachel Modern AU.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Wine and Whisky - Chapter 4

by @whiskynottea

Rachel looked at herself in the mirror.

Is the red lipstick too much?

It was a work event, and she had to look professional. She might meet important clients, coworkers, collaborators. They had to take her seriously. Yet, most of all, she wanted to look beautiful because Ian would be there. Behind the bar, serving whisky, joking with the customers, looking at her.

Would he look at her?

Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Don’t think of Ian. Think of whisky. The event is about blended whisky.

She had spent hours reading about blended whisky so she could get involved in professional conversations. She had to prove to Fraser that hiring her had been the right thing to do. She even had to prove it to herself.

“Roughly nine out of 10 bottles of Scotch sold around the world are blends,” she recited, standing in front of her closet.

Is a black dress a good choice? In the middle of the summer?

Rachel took the dress out, taking a moment to look at it. “No,” she said at last, shaking her head. She needed something happier, less rigid.

Better the blue and white striped skirt, with a blue top. Yes, much better.

She got dressed, her thoughts flitting back to the event. Blends reminded her of wine. The key was to choose the right varieties, each one for its unique characteristics, and then find the perfect equilibrium between them. To reach a balance, so that they wouldn’t compete with each other. Each fusion was a dance, the different components like couples, ready to move in sync, their garments swirling around, enhancing their strong points and hiding their weaknesses. It was an art.

“Blended doesn’t mean cheap,” she murmured. “The Last Drop Distillers released a 1971 vintage blended Scotch whisky for £3,000 a bottle last year. First blended in 1893. The blend remained in oak barrels and combines more than 40 different single malt and grain whiskies,” she reminded herself.

“Are you ready?” Denny popped his head into her room. He had a shift at the hospital and was dressed for work.

“Yes, are you?”

“Ready and excited to go to work!” he said, sarcastically, but Rachel knew that he was indeed excited to go to the hospital. The Royal Infirmary was what he had expected it to be, maybe even more. “Sorry I can’t come with you, Ray,” he said apologetically and kissed her cheek.

“Well, Fraser’s wife won’t be there, either, so I guess that’s alright!” Rachel laughed.

Fraser’s wife, the curly-haired woman in the pictures Rachel had seen in his office, was Denny’s supervisor, and one of the best surgeons at the hospital.

“I’ll tell her you said hi!” he teased.

“No, you won’t!” She scowled, daring him to mention her to Fraser’s wife.

“Blended Malt,” Denny said, changing the subject smoothly while searching for his keys.

“Combining two or more single malt scotches from different distilleries into one batch. They are typically more medium to full-bodied.”

“Good.” Denny smiled. “Blended Grain.”

“A blend of single grain scotches from two or more separate distilleries. Lighter and milder than single malts.”

“Correct. Blended Scotch.”

“The majority of the blends. A mix of both single malt and single grain scotches from two or more separate distilleries.”

“Great! I’m good to go to the event if you don’t want to!” Denny laughed, and his sister huffed her disagreement.

It was a good thing that he wasn’t able to go with her, considering that he would tease her to death if he realized how much she liked Ian. She could almost hear him now.

Man buns are horrible, don’t you think, sis?

“I’m off!” Denny said, shaking her out of her thoughts. “You’ll do great. Don’t be late.”

“I won’t.” Rachel looked at her watch. “Or I wouldn’t, if I had left already,” she muttered to herself when she heard the door swinging closed.

The first person she saw was Jamie Fraser. Towering over everyone, he was talking intently to a group of people Rachel had never seen before. He hadn’t noticed her, though, so she slipped to the side, not ready to be introduced to anyone yet.

Maybe she should get herself a whisky first.

She made her way to the bar. A grumpy looking, bearded man was there, cleaning glasses with a towel.

“Can I help ye, lass?” he asked when his eyes landed on her. A pang of disappointment made her stomach clench.

“Umm, yes. I would like -”

“I have that, Uncle.” Ian straightened himself behind the bar, smiling at her.

“If ye say so, lad,” the bearded man murmured, setting a meticulously clean glass in a rack.

“This is Rachel,” Ian grinned. “She’s the new assistant distiller. She’ll work with Uncle Jamie here, in Edinburgh.” Rachel’s smile got wider at every word. “Rachel, this is Murtagh. Technically, my boss.”

Murtagh’s eyes flicked back forth between Ian and Rachel. “Happy to have ye on the team, lass,” he finally said, and after a small nod turned his attention to the customers who had just arrived.

“Can I help ye, lass?” Ian repeated his uncle's words with a wide grin.

“Well, I think you can…” Rachel paused for just a second. “Lad.”

Ian chuckled at her. “We’re only serving blends tonight. Try this.” He took a bottle from the display behind him, poured the amber liquid into a tumbler, and pushed it towards her. “Tell me what ye think.”

“Rachel!” She heard the voice from behind her back the moment she took hold of the glass. “You made it.”

Rachel saw Ian exhale just before she turned to greet William.

“Hi William! I told you I would come. I’ve started the tasting already.” She raised her drink towards him, and brought it to her nose to smell its aroma.

“What are you drinking?” he asked, and Rachel realized she didn’t know. She hadn’t even asked Ian when he served her, never looked at the bottle. With his head bowed, she had the perfect opportunity to watch him closely; she’d noticed how his hair changed from dark to an almost blonde at the ends, observed how his biceps flexed, tried to make out the tattoo on his inner arm.

Rachel looked at the whisky in her hand, then turned towards Ian. “What am I drinking?” she asked.

“Highland Nectar,” Ian stated, not looking up from his work.

“Highland Nectar?” William whispered, surprised. “Have you gone mad?”

Ian shrugged and resumed to clean the bar in front of him.

“Why? What’s wrong with Highland Nectar?” Rachel asked, looking at them alarmed.

“The distillery stopped its production in the sixties,” William hissed, still looking at Ian.

“So I’m drinking a whisky that’s almost sixty years old?” Rachel looked at her drink with wonder, and moved the tumbler to her nose again.

“Aye.” Ian’s voice was different, not sweet or playful as it had been before. “Tis fine, Willie.”

“You know you’re not supposed to -” William leaned towards Ian, his arms on the bar.

“Aye, I ken. So what.” Ian interrupted, narrowing his eyes, clenching the towel with his fist.

Tension crackled between them. Shallow breaths moved their chests, the muscles in their arms contracting, ready to pull them in a fight. Rachel looked at them, stunned, not knowing what to do. William had given her a few vintages to try before, the first day she had come for the interview, and he had seemed okay with that. Not that old and expensive, but those had been fine whiskies, too.

“I haven’t drank any of it yet, maybe we could pour it back?” she suggested, but neither of them turned to look at her.

“No, we’re not pouring it back.” Ian’s voice was sharp, cold as ice. His eyes were fixed on William, looking at him from a few inches higher. “Tis for ye, Rachel,” he said and his voice softened. “I want ye to try it.”

Rachel was trying to think of something to say when the sound in the room lulled to a hush Jamie Fraser’s voice cut in.

“Thank ye all for coming today to celebrate the wonder of a blended whisky with us. As most of ye may already know, we at the Fraser Distillery have dedicated years of effort and love to the production of fine single malt whiskies.” Rachel tried to focus on Fraser’s speech, wishing Ian and William would do the same. They had ceased hissing at each other when Fraser’s strong voice filled the room. “We aim to continue doing so,” Fraser continued, “but from this year forward, blended whiskies will be added to the Fraser collection. Those whiskies will be produced here, in Edinburgh. Ms Rachel Hunter,” he said, gesturing towards Rachel and making all the people in the room turn their heads towards her, “is our new assistant distiller, and she’ll help us create a unique series of blended whiskies that ye’ll love.”

Rachel smiled and bowed her head, hoping her face wasn’t embarrassingly red.

“Blends are a form of art,” Fraser continued. “To find the single malts, to choose them depending on their characteristics and combine a myriad of components to create one harmonious and consistent whole. Tis magic, or better, alchemy.”

Rachel nodded, thinking how similar Jamie Fraser’s thoughts were to her own.

Fraser came over to Rachel, took her arm, and together with William they walked from table to table, introducing her to people, chatting about whisky and continuing the tasting.

“Lord Elcho,” William said after returning from the bar with a bottle he’d taken from Murtagh. A few attendees crowded around to look at the label.

“Lord Elcho was named after the 5th Earl of Wemyss,” Fraser said. “He was stripped of his title after the Battle of Culloden, and was forced into exile in France.”

“It’s a particularly good blend,” William said, swirling his tumbler. “Very malty."

“What do you smell?” Fraser asked the couple - Rachel had already forgotten their names - with a smile.

“Vanilla?” the woman suggested, unsure.

Rachel smelled her own whisky. Vanilla, indeed. But more, much more. Gingernut biscuits, hints of toffee apples, nutmeg, and cooked fruit.

“And porridge oats,” Fraser suggested with a grin.

Rachel smelled again. Porridge oats. It was there, but she had totally missed it the first time. She had to get better. Then she drank. It was definitely malty, and spicy, with notes of cocoa butter. Maybe some hints of salted caramel and custard, as well.

It was hours later when they ended up back at the bar. Ian was chatting with the tall woman Rachel had seen in the picture at the distillery.

“This is Rachel Hunter, the wine lover we’re trying to convert to whisky.”

“I think you’ve managed that already,” Rachel said with a smile.

“Rachel, this is my daughter, Brianna,” Jamie Fraser introduced the woman in front of them, giving her a sweet smile.

“Nice to meet you, Rachel,” she said, extending her hand. “And to have you on board. Hi Da,” she said turning to Fraser and she rose on her tiptoes to give him a kiss.

“How’s Jem?” Fraser asked, frowning.

“Better. No fever today. He’s home with Roger, but I just came by to say a quick hello and see how the event was. It’s going well, right?”

“More than well,” Fraser agreed, content, and went on to share the liquor store owners and whisky lovers that had shown interest in the new Fraser blends.

The room was nearly empty two hours later, and Rachel plopped herself down on a stool at the bar to watch Ian arrange clean glasses. Her feet were killing her.

“Are you as tired as I am?” she asked, trying to start a conversation.

“Dinna ken. Probably.”

“Did Murtagh leave?” She looked around. A waiter - Rabbie, she reminded herself - was still cleaning tables. Fraser had left fifteen minutes ago, followed by William who drove Brianna home. He suggested Rachel go with them, but she had politely declined the offer.

“Aye, I’m closing the bar tonight.” Ian gave her a small, tired smile. “Yer drink,” he said, handing her the tumbler she had left on the bar hours ago. “Although the aroma will not be the same now. It’s been in the glass too long.”

“Ian,” she started, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry I didn’t drink it. Your uncle came, and…”

“Dinna apologize, lass. I ken. I just thought I would keep it for ye.”

She took a sip, his smile lighting a fire under her skin, stronger than the alcohol in her drink.

“Ian,” she said, eyes fixed on the amber liquid. “What was that, before? With William? About the whisky?”

Ian looked at her, squaring his shoulders. “I wasna supposed to open that bottle.” He shrugged, exactly as he had done the first time, when William had asked.

“So why did you open it?” Rachel felt her heart stop.

“I wanted to,” he said, looking at her for a long moment before he tore his eyes away. They were dark green, intense, fiery.

“You shouldn’t have.” She hoped he would look at her again. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Ah, I’m in trouble anyway, dinna fash.” He looked at her then, his lips curled up, his hands still.

Looks like I’m in trouble, she thought. She couldn’t say that aloud, though.

“Dinna... what?” she asked instead, laughing. She loved listening to his Scottish accent.

“Don’t worry,” he said, and Rachel decided that his version of an American accent was terrible.

“You do know that’s not even an accent? An existing one, I mean.”

Ian laughed, but didn’t continue their banter. “Ye can leave, Rabbie!” he said to the waiter a moment later. “I think we’re done.”

Rabbie nodded, walked to the kitchen to retrieve his stuff, and bid them goodnight.

“Will ye help me move those empty bottles upstairs?” Ian asked.

“Sure!” Rachel went behind the bar, and ended up standing in front of him, waiting for him to move. He didn’t. Ian stood still, looking at her. “What?” she asked, suddenly self-conscious.

He raised his hand, softly tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Nothing,” he whispered, and Rachel felt grateful that the music was still on. If not, he might have heard her thundering heart.

Ian turned abruptly and picked up four bottles, leaving two behind for Rachel. He walked to the end of the bar, pushed open a wooden door and disappeared behind it. Rachel followed him, then climbed the stairs behind the doorway and found herself in a small warehouse, bottles and boxes neatly stacked, a small window on the right wall, facing the street in front of the bar.

She left the bottles in the box Ian indicated, and turned to go to back when his hand stopped her. It was electrifying, his touch.

“Do ye have to go home now?”

“No.”

“Care to stay with me for a while?”

“Yes.”

It was simple, being with him. It was easy.

Ian arranged two big wooden crates, side by side in front of the window for them to sit. They weren’t wide, their arms occasionally touching, Rachel’s skirt half covering Ian’s thigh. The street was glinting under the lights - a summer rain, just to remind them where they were. Scotland loved the rain.

“You did great tonight,” he said, and his hand moved to cover hers, squeezing lightly. It was gone almost before she could register the touch. Ian raised a half-full whisky bottle, as if toasting to her, took a sip, and passed it to her.

Rachel raised the bottle to her mouth, distracted by the intimacy of his lips touching the very same spot just moments before. She took a full sip, not spending a second to appreciate the notes of fruits and spices in it. With Ian so close to her, she didn’t want to mix his scent with anything else. She wanted to share his drink, his secrets.

“Thank you,” she said, thankful that he couldn’t see her blush. It was dim in the warehouse, the half-closed door blocking almost all the light from the stairway. “Do you come here often?” she asked, handing the bottle back to him, trying to steer her thoughts away from his mouth.

“Aye, ye could say that. If my uncle agreed, I could even live here. A bed is the only thing I’d need.”

“A bed? In here?” she asked, looking around.

“Aye,” Ian whispered.

She was still looking around, wondering where would a bed fit in the small room.

“Why did you say you’re in trouble be- ” Her words faded out when his hand cupped her cheek, bringing her face an inch away from his.

Her breath hitched in her throat and her heart raced.

Rachel’s tongue moved involuntarily to lick her lips, but she didn’t have time. It was his lips that she licked, the whisky on his tongue that she tasted. She opened her mouth to him, feeling his hand run through her hair, pulling her closer.

It wasn’t the whisky, it was Ian; he was intoxicating. His touch, his scent, his taste. He was sharp and soft, fruity and spicy. He was strong, and he took over her senses with a kiss that left her dizzy and lost, yet found.

His eyes were dark when he looked at her again, his breaths coming as fast as hers.

“Hi,” he sighed, and his eyes crinkled just a bit.

“Hi,” she said, and her voice shook, even though it had only been two letters. “Ian,” she whispered. Just three letters, changing everything.

Continue to Chapter 5.

#outlander fanfiction #otheroutlandertales #mod whisky #pair: Young Ian x Rachel #ch: Young Ian #ch: Rachel #ch: William #ch: Murtagh #ch: Denny #ch: bree #ch: Jamie #modern AU #category: mf #Wine and Whisky #oot #*

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laurenpandora · 6 years

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ScoobyNatural

So, I loved this episode. Honestly one of the best episodes ever. I know it's had mixed reviews from some people who really dislike Scooby Doo but the rest of us loved it and I really think they did a fantastic job with this. The animation was so good, the characters look like them, and although their movements are a lot more cartoonish it's still believably them which I'm really happy about. I've been hyped for this episode for weeks and honestly it was worth the wait.

So this episode starts and we're launched straight into the episode with no recaps or 'previously' scenes. Which is jarring enough in itself, but we're also launched straight into the middle of a fight scene. This kinda messed with my head a little as SPN doesn't usually start with them already in the middle of a case, fighting the monster. The next confusing thing is the fact that they seem to be fighting a human-sized plush dinosaur in the middle of a store. Bit weird but we go with it. Dean commenting that "killing Barney" was pretty satisfying made me laugh.

The store owner offers them something from the store to say thankyou and of course Sam is very humble and refused, but Dean can't miss an opportunity like that. "Take it easy, she's delicate" They carry out a large TV and of course Dean personifies the thing, calling it a 'she' which is what he also does with his car so we can tell he's already quite attached to the Television.

"Be like Elsa. Let it go." Sometimes Dean's references show a very different side to him. He wants Sam to drop the case because 'it's over' but Sam obviously knows something is wrong about it. Dean distracts Sam though because he's so excited to show him what he's been doing with one of the rooms in the bunker.

"The Dean cave.. or.. Fortress of Deanitude.." That's actually kind of adorable. He's so happy about it and I love that. Dean being at home in the bunker is my jam. He never had a home for so long, sleeping in the car and cheap motels and living on the road for years, and now that they have the bunker, and he can decorate, and make it his, he gets almost domestic and this is just so good for him. The rare happy Dean moments seem to be increasing and that is so beautiful.

He makes a big show of turning on the TV, and something isn't right. It sparks purple and they're both confused. Dean actually tilts his head and I'm instantly reminded of Castiel. I wonder if Dean picked that up from him?

Then they're both sucked into the TV.

They freak out because they're suddenly animated, and they do it in such a cartoonish way both at the same time saying "you're a cartoon! I'm a cartoon!" it's very funny.

"Maybe this is an angel thing. Or the trickster." "No, he's dead." "Or is he?" No! He's not! It's almost like they know. Dean even said it really ominously. This makes me so happy. Dean calls out Sam for being confused about the car getting there, like as if everything else about this is just mildly weird, but the car being there is just not possible.. XD

They drive to a Malt Shop - I have no idea what one of those is - and see the Mystery Machine, which is how they figure out they're in Scooby Doo. Then we get the ScoobyNatural title scene, which seems pretty late on in the episode but I guess it wouldn't have made sense to have it at the beginning.

Dean fanboying over the Scooby Gang is so childlike.. but then he's instantly after Daphne which I find a bit creepy. I know it's a cartoon, and I know that it's all meant to be fairly innocent, Dean has been a fan of this show since he was a child, but it's still weird to me. Canonically Daphne is in her late teens. Dean Winchester is in his late 30s. That's a little weird to me. But since his Daphne crush probably started when he was a child himself, and the characters are just animations.. I'll let it go for now I guess.

"I dunno. Cas is kinda like a talking dog" Dean compares their lives hunting to Scooby Doo and it's kinda cute. He sees the characters as 'role models' which is kinda funny because the Winchesters have literally saved the world so many times, and the Scooby Gang.. not so much. He even seems quite nervous to meet them.

Scooby is apparently the heir to a fortune left to him by an 'Old southern Colonel'. Please tell me this was an intentional reference to Asmodeus? Even Dean called the guy 'Evil Colonel Sanders' earlier this season, and we've all been calling him that since before then, so this can't be a coincidence, right?

"There are no words in this newspaper, Dean" This really got me. One of my favourite things ever is when cartoon characters point out stuff like this. Even though obviously Sam and Dean do know theyre in a cartoon, the 4th wall breaks like this still make me laugh. Dean decides they have to play along because he assumes it's like the Changing Channels episode and they have to 'play their part'. Honestly a lot of us were hoping that Gabriel had something to do with this episode, but I guess we're waiting for the next episode to see him again.

The part where Dean eats the giant sandwich actually reminds me of Changing Channels:

Dean really dislikes Fred and I'm guessing it's because he's jealous of him? Not just the FredxDaphne thing but his, and I quote: "perfect hair, his can-do attitude, that stupid ascot". The way Dean talks, he's so needlessly angry at Fred just for being Fred, he either low key wishes he was more like that, or he's got some weird crush on Fred too? I wont read too much into that right now. I did notice though, that as they speed off racing the mystery machine, there is a large sign that just says 'LUBE'. I'm sure that's just a completely innocent background image but what can I say, my mind is often in the gutter.

So they get to the house and yes the late Colonel is actually called Colonel Sanders, which Sam and Dean both notice, but I think it was more as a 'thats kinda stupid' reaction than anything. "Spend a night in a haunted house for a million dollars? That can't be legal." Trust Sam to think of it that way, but he's got a point. But then, it is a classic movie trope. Velma points out that 'things like this happen all the time' because obviously in cartoons, in her universe, they do.

Dean doesn't want to tell them that they're in a cartoon, they're innocent and pure and he wants them to stay that way (despite flirting with Daphne, ahem) which seems like a good plan until crap starts getting real. "Oh Dean. Boys and girls don't sleep in the same room, silly." Yep, Dean is right, the Scooby Gang are definitely innocent and pure. Daphne calls out Velma for being interested in Sam, which I thought was a bit of an unexpected development but kinda funny.

Then one of the background characters is killed.

"Jinkies" "Jeepers" "Zoinks" "Ruh Roh" "Son of a bitch." This really got me, just all the Scooby catchphrases and then Deans which is just so wildly different.

"We should look for evidence. Like fingerprints. Or fluids." This sentence is where it starts to get a little uncomfortable. It's a little like watching the first 'Don't hug me I'm scared' episode. It's slowly pushing the boundary of not so happy and innocent. They're still so chipper though, someone has just died and they're all like 'ooh a mystery'. That's not normal, guys.

Then they see an ominous figure at the window in a trenchcoat and I think we're supposed to think it's the ghost but everyone I watched this with already knew it was gonna be Castiel. "Castiel? It sounds like a great italian pizza place." I'm dying. Actually dying of laughter. Poor Cas.

Cas explains how he got there and we get a scene where he's at the bunker talking about getting the fruit of life. He didn't check they were there before launching into his story about the fruit, which is good because it means we get to hear about it. Apparently he had to make a deal with some Djinns and he may have technically married their Queen? This particular scene was hilarious and was what sparked the tweet from Rachel Miner that I posted the screenshot of the other day.

"Killer stuffed dinosaur?" "Uh I didn't mean a real..." "It's a book we're writing. Yeah. About Killer stuffed Dinosaurs. It's called-" "The Killer Stuffed Dinosaur..In Love." The hell kinda books has Cas been reading? I hope someone writes this book though. SPN Fandom, don't let us down. I would do it but I can't write. Which you can probably tell from my posts..

They try to fight the ghost but quickly realise that it's definitely not a person in a costume. Velma's levels of denial are almost impressive.

Then they find a chopped up guy and it gets pretty disgusting. "That's not good." Really, Fred? Really? "Do they always just.. walk away from dead bodies? or?" Sam is the cynical commentary I didn't know I needed for this episode, I love it. Also Fred cockblocking Dean at every turn is magical.

"Wonderful. I once led armies and now I'm paired with a scruffy philistine and a talking dog." Sassy Castiel is my favourite. <3 Velma is still insistent that the ghost is just an 'unscrupulous real estate developer' or something similar, even when Sam tries to explain the truth. I know I'd have trouble believing in ghosts in her position, but the stubborness is quite painful. Dean tries again to flirt with Daphne by asking what she looks for in a guy, and she basically just describes Fred which is hilarious. Dean notices a book "The one that isn't painted into the background of the car- hm - library" and there's that cartoon 4th wall again. Pointing out how the important props are always so obvious in cartoons. They fall down the secret passage and Dean is trying to get handsy with Daphne in the dark. Yeah ok Dean that's definitely creepy, stop it.

Now we've got the obligatory Scooby Doo running about the house scene, complete with music and doors and popping out of vases. And Scrappy Doo randomly even though he wasn’t even there. Fantastic. Love it.

"We have to stop this ghost" "We almost did. Dean had him by the thigh" "He what?" I don't even know what to say about this so I'm just gonna leave it here.

Scooby and Shaggy falling off the building, being saved by Cas with his coat as a parachute is possibly the best part of this entire episode. This was the point where I started wondering if Castiel still has his angel powers inside the cartoon. Shaggy gets badly hurt which just doesn't happen in Scooby Doo episodes, as pointed out angrily by Shaggy: "I have jumped out of a biplane in a museum and was fine!".

This I guess is the final straw and they decide to tell the gang the truth. Which seems like a good plan on the surface but then they all start having a mass existential crisis. "We've been stopping real estate developers when we could have been hunting dracula? Are you kidding me? My life is meaningless!" "If there are ghosts.. that means theres an afterlife! Heaven! Hell! Am I going to Hell?!" ..Daphne, what did you do?

"Scooby Gang does not have nervous breakdowns." Yeah you tell them Dean.. Like, you just ruined their lives, ripped apart their entire concept of reality, and they're all scared teenagers but yes lets tell them to pull themselves together. He does make a damned good motivational speech though. He tells them how they're heroes and honestly, even I felt better after this speech.

"We can help. We have to." "F**king right you can." Dean swore. And they bleeped him. This doesn't even happen in regular Supernatural episodes. Like holy crap. I think I heard somewhere that the F word wasn't in the script but when Jensen said it they just left it in? I've been watching convention videos on youtube so it was probably at Paleyfest or something?

Their weird rube-goldberg style trap for the ghost is.. inventive? The salt and the coconuts and the soap and the washing machine.. They send Shaggy, Scooby and Castiel to sneak around the house and the animation of them sneaking is just gold..

I cannot imagine Cas walking like this and that just makes the whole thing funnier. And of course the three of them end up in the washing machine instead of the ghost. Because Cartoon logic. "Freds traps never work" of course they have a plan B which seems to be some kind of glowing salt circle. I wish salt circles were that pretty in real life. It's kinda sparkling.

The ghost turns out to be a child, who is being controlled by the pawn shop owners friend, Jay. When they go back in the other room the Scooby Gang are freaking out, yelling about shotguns and traps and panicking about the ghost, so the boys decide they need to get the kid to fix the episode. "Kill it with fire!" is not something I ever thought I'd hear from Daphne.

Sam seems to be in pain trying to tell Velma she was right. Which is understandable, as she's been so smug about him believing in ghosts for the whole episode. It's gotta be difficult to tell her she's right when she isn't.

They finally get to do the whole pulling the mask off part, completing the episode, and Castiel sneakily fixes Shaggys arm, which I guess answers the angel powers question I had earlier. Everything is back to how it should be.

They say goodbye to the gang and Cas saying goodbye to Scooby and Shaggy is so beautiful but so funny at the same time. Velma kisses Sam, which is weird af and then she wanders off talking about his shoulders... I don't even know what to make of that.

"That was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. And that includes the Cartwright twins." "What did you do with the Cartwright twins?" For gods sake do not ask, Cas. Sam doesn't want to know either.

They're all back in the real world and Dean has to smash his TV open. I kinda wonder if he couldn't have just taken it apart to get the knife out? I guess that would have taken time but it seems to me that would have been the better option? He could maybe even have just tipped it upside down? Seeing as it was just dropped into a hole in the top of the TV. Maybe I'm overthinking it. Maybe I'm just upset about breaking electronics. Either way, they set the spirit free, and it's super emotional.

They go to confront the 'bad man' as the kid called him and Dean is wearing an Ascot scarf thing over his jacket and plaid shirt getup. It clashes badly and does not suit him at all to be honest. They expose Jay for what he's been doing, but of course no one but them is going to believe it, so they also have some convenient tax evasion dirt on him so that the police can take him in.

"Velma was right. It was a shady real estate developer after all." That is such a twist ending. That's hilarious.

Then the guy says the 'meddling kids' line, even though Sam, Dean and Castiel are not kids? They're grown men. Bit confusing but I guess it had to be done? Dean doing the impression of Scooby Doo was a little cringey though. "Dean. You're not a talking dog." That.

He's right that red is his colour. But the ascot is not a good look.

This was a really fun episode and I really enjoyed it. I rewatched it to write this post and I am half tempted to watch it a third time already... Very impressed.

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