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#and i was devastated last year bc i couldn't go and it was their first tour back from a long hiatus

wileys-russo · 1 month

Text

putting the ex in sex II j.hermoso

18+ mature content, minors DNI!! - alexia and jenni never dated in this bc i said so. this is my first time posting anything 18+ so be nice (i may end up deleting it who knows) but strap in my friends, she's a long one at 12K.

putting the ex in sex II j.hermoso

when you finally broke up with jenni after three years together it felt like your entire life came crashing down and your world shattered around you.

you'd fallen in love hard and fast with the tall tattooed striker and from the moment you were introduced it had always been near impossible not to be drawn to her enigmatic charm and wolfish grin.

her charisma and effortless self confidence could just as easily be written off as arrogance to someone who didn't know her, not helped by the often cocky smile plastered to her face.

though you couldn't deny you'd found her attractive from first glance, your best friend alexia introducing the two of you when you finally signed for barcelona a season after jenni had returned.

you'd briefly known of jenni before you'd properly met her, having seen her scattered across your friends social media posts and stories over the years.

you'd grown up with alexia and though you were a couple of years younger than her you were incredibly close, and you found yourself often looking to her like the sister you'd never had.

which is why she'd been nothing short of devastated when despite going through the academy together you weren't offered a professional senior contract with your home club like she was.

you instead signed with atlético madrid and alexia had been heartbroken when you moved across the country. but despite that the two of you stayed just as close and you slowly climbed up the professional ranks, using your rejection from barcelona to only push your football to new heights.

you bounced between a few different clubs through spain as you grew up, even making the move over to germany to play for wolfsburg for a couple of seasons later on in your career, the different style of football helping your development even further.

and it paid off as finally in the same year you'd received your first national call up for spain you were offered a contract with barcelona, alexia having caught wind before you'd even had time to consider, calling you and yelling at you that if you didn't accept she would personally fly to germany, forge your signature, kidnap you and bring you home in her suitcase.

and so signing with barcelona in 2020 you were delighted that you already knew a few of the girls from your various other clubs. mainly having played alongside both ingrid and fridolina in germany before they'd moved, as well as maría, or mapi as she preferred to go by, for a couple of seasons during your time at atlético.

so welcomed in with open arms and unable to shake alexia from being stuck to your side even if you wanted to, it didn't take long before your place within the team felt cemented and secured.

but there was always just one thing lingering at the back of your mind day by day, jenni.

from the moment you'd both been introduced the older girl had kept an eye on you, unable to quite put her finger on what it was that had her so drawn toward you.

though the more time you spent together, even mostly in small groups, the closer you both became.

everything started to shift when after a particularly lavish win over real madrid and eight days between your last match and the next you all decided to go out that night as a team.

one or ten too many tequila shots consumed jenni was unable to keep her hands off of you as you pulled her with you to the dance floor, grinding your body against hers now it was flooded with liquid courage and too many shots of your own.

it was safe to say one thing lead to another and you found yourself waking up that next morning in a bed that wasn't yours, trapped by muscular tattooed arms that also weren't yours, and with your naked body pressed against another that also was not yours.

before you had time to panic and think of an escape route to avoid any awkwardness jenni had stirred beside you, one bright green eye cracking open tiredly as her lips curled into a lazy smile.

"so, does this mean i can take you to dinner tonight guapa?"

it didn't take many of those little dinners, lunches and drives to and from trainings with her and some certain added benefits, before you came to the abrupt and sudden realization that you wanted more, you wanted her.

though jenni beat you to the punch appearing on your doorstep that week with a large bunch of flowers and the signature bright eyed cocky smile you swooned for, asking you to be her girlfriend.

the striker was barely able to get the words out before you were nodding eagerly and launching at her, her laughter at you silenced as you'd smashed your lips to hers, flowers discarded on your kitchen counter as she was quick to carry you off to the bedroom.

and for the next couple of years you continued to only fall harder and faster for her, moving in together after a few months and rapidly ticking off the boxes one by one toward building a life together.

but everything came to a screaming halt when one night she'd sat you down and came clean about her intentions to move to mexico once her contract was up with barcelona at the end of the season.

you wanted to be mad, you wanted to yell at her and hit her and cry out about how she was leaving you and leaving the life you'd built together behind.

but you couldn't, you loved her far too much to ever be that selfish knowing that over the last couple of months that twinkle in her eyes when on the pitch had dimmed just a little.

so you promised it didn't change anything as you started to help her pack her half of your shared life together into boxes, spending nights curled up in bed together planning about how you could continue this on opposite sides of the world, blinded by the fierce love budding in your hearts for one another to even consider otherwise.

the day she finally moved you'd never deny she took a piece of your heart with her which you trusted she'd look after, your girlfriend having made your best friends promise to look after you in her absence as she left behind her own half a heart in your safe and trustworthy hands.

and for the first six months things seemed to be okay, they were far from perfect as your relationship did its best to career over the inevitable speed bumps of the now permanent distance between you two, but they were okay.

but in all your forward planning what you hadn't accounted for was jenni's jealousy turning from something you found endearing, to something far far more toxic when it inevitably began to rot at the foundation of your now long distance relationship.

at first in the honeymoon stages of getting together you'd found the older girls jealousy quite flattering knowing it came from a place of sheer adoration and infatuation with you.

you'd melt when jenni's hand would firmly wrap around your waist or sit on the small of your back when out in public together, part of her skin always needing to be touching you no matter what. the way that her lips would graze the back of your neck or your shoulder blade as she pressed her taller body against yours.

but when jenni moved to another country and suddenly she wasn't able to seek out that physical assurance you were hers and only hers, it started to eat at her much more than she felt able to communicate, the fear of how others might perceive you without her there to assert that you were a very happily taken woman eating away at her.

you'd go out with friends and be bombarded with call after call from your girlfriend, demanding to know a list of who you were out with and proof that you weren't lying.

you'd tried time and time again to ask her where this sudden distrust came from, the questions dismissed as jenni noticed through videos on your friends stories a few of the newer signings gawking at you in ways only she was allowed to, your body hers and hers only to fantasize about.

the rampant calls and constant need to know where you were and who you were with then shifted into trying to police what you wore. the moment you even hinted at leaving the house for a social commitment jenni would be face timing you and ordering you to allow her to pick your outfit.

of course this need of jenni's to seemingly control every little aspect of your freedom and autonomy didn't sit well with you, and you often found yourself lying about plans just to avoid the arguments you knew would arise when you didn't give into her every single demand.

this in turn only meant your fights became uglier, more personal, both of you knowing exactly where to hit the other where it hurt. then suddenly that fierce love which had kept you connected, that invisible string which was always drawing you together despite the distance, snapped.

you still loved jenni, you really really did, and she would always have that piece of your heart you'd given her to take when she'd left for mexico.

but you just couldn't continue on like it was between you both anymore.

when you'd initiated the conversation about how you were feeling and she'd for once made no move to argue with you or fight for the relationship, it hurt like hell but you knew you'd made the right choice as you both confirmed your split.

jenni had already been playing in mexico for a season when the two of you parted ways so at least it removed the awkward possibility of playing on the same team anymore and having to see one another near daily as you adjusted to life now properly apart.

unsure if it had been a blessing or a curse an invisible game of tennis seemed to occur, with you and jenni seeming to bounce from injury to injury between you, paths never crossing for months as you weren't called up to national duty at the same time.

you'd barely spoken since the break up bar a few very basic congratulations on achievements or apologies for injuries exchanged over instagram before you'd made the first move and unfollowed her which she followed suit, numbers never deleted from one anothers phones but texts threads long gone.

despite how much it hurt to see them one thing you couldn't seem to bring yourself to do was delete your pictures with jenni, instead moving them all to a locked folder in your camera roll which alexia had put a password on and refused to share with you 'for your own good'.

despite her obvious long term loyalty to you as your best friend for more years than could be counted on both hands you knew alexia and jenni were still friends, as your ex still was with most of your current team mates both for club and country.

which lead for the first few months following your break up to a series of icy interactions at social events for these shared friends, both of you refusing to even acknowledge the other despite your friends attempts to ease the tension which you both flat out denied was there, claiming you'd moved on and all was fine.

you hadn't of course, not even close.

you'd tried time and time again to be with other women but found yourself loathing your ex even more for the fact that no matter what you tried jenni still rented a permanent space in your mind, and no one compared to the way she knew you and your body.

you had no idea but it was the same situation for jenni, the striker throwing herself into countless situationships and hookups as a coping mechanism for the gaping chasm you'd left in her life since you exited it, but nothing came even close in satisfying her the way being with you had.

when it had hit almost a year since your split you were invited out for mapi's birthday, eager for a night of drinking and dancing after you were finally cleared medically after suffering a small tear in your hamstring.

since jenni was in town visiting friends and family she too had been extended an invitation, something you'd had no idea of given neither of you had the other on social media and jenni hardly felt obliged to send her ex a text message with a spontaneous heads up of her whereabouts.

"you didn't tell them!? por dios maría!" alexia smacked the younger girl upside the head when she'd revealed the truth as they got ready together, you running late as you'd had some car troubles, something in the past your now ex girlfriend would have been your first call for help, though now single you'd had to rely on a mechanic instead.

"you said you told them amor!" ingrid groaned in agreement as mapi shrunk under the disapproving gazes of the taller women in front of her.

"i want them both to come! if i told them they might not have gone, and it is my birthday. do i not get a say in who comes?" mapi tried to defend herself to no avail, shrinking further as both her best friend and girlfriend lectured her tirelessly.

but they were cut off as the buzzer went, mapi quick to dart away and punch in her code letting you into the building, grinning as you flipped her off through the camera and disappeared into the elevator, knocking on the door a few minutes later.

"feliz cumpleaños puta!" you sang out happily as the defender opened the door, nearly falling onto her ass as you launched at her in a bear hug.

"why do you two look so miserable? i know you hate fun ale but tonight is not about you." you dropped down from mapi's back and squeezed your best friends shoulder sympathetically who huffed and pushed you away making you grin.

"jenni is going tonight." alexia blurted out as both mapi and ingrid winced and you gave them a strange look, handing the birthday girl a bottle of tequila as she kissed your cheek gratefully and zoomed off to grab shot glasses.

"and this is why you both look so nervous? está bien amiga's, we're both big girls i'm sure we can be in the same room for a few hours." you chuckled, everyone surprised at your reaction but deciding not to push it further.

well, two out of three did as mapi returned and clapped calling for shots.

"alexia i will be on my very best behaviour, promesa. now stop scowling you will get wrinkles abuela!" you teased as mapi handed you both a shot and the brunette hummed. "you better be, i do not feel like breaking up a boxing match tonight." your best friends eyes rolled as you bumped your shoulder into hers.

"hey the only person who wants to fight me when i'm drunk is maría." you pointed out as you all downed your shots and the birthday girl laughed, clinking her shot glass against yours with a wink

"sí, and i always win!"

the room full of your friends cheering as mapi entered you and alexia broke away from the group which surged toward the birthday girl to greet her, heading toward the bar as jenni spotted you and nearly choked on her drink, misa hitting her on the back with a concerned look.

though as laia poked her and nodded in your direction everything suddenly made sense.

"what? i swallowed a bug." jenni dismissed the knowing looks from her friends, a slight blush coating your cheeks as her eyes couldn't help but note the very short dress hugging your curves in all the right places, something stirring in her stomach at the way alexia's arm wrapped around you as you both ordered a drink.

but she swallowed it down as quickly as it reared its head, turning her body away from you and making an effort to converse with the small group she was sat with, perfectly content with pretending you didn't exist.

you managed to avoid one another for most of the night, the group now halved as nearly everyone was tipsy to say the least and twirling one another around on the dance floor, poor ingrid left to babysit a very drunk mapi who had already been threatened with being kicked out as she tried to get up on the tables and dance.

"hola." jenni tensed a little at your voice as you finally appeared beside her, ordering a drink and leaning against the bar as your ex sent you a polite smile. "hola." she greeted back, fingers drumming anxiously against the counter top.

"cómo has estado?" you asked, raising an eyebrow as jenni looked back to you in surprise, assuming the simple hello would be all she'd get out of you which she'd been fine with.

"eh fine, and you?" she asked as you smiled, something which actually seemed sincere as it met your eyes. "only fine? you just won the league, no?" you laughed, a melodic little noise which jenni had forgotten how much she'd missed.

"sí, maybe a little better than fine then." jenni grinned, both of you falling comfortably into conversation as a few of your friends watched on cautiously from afar as if awaiting a bomb to go off.

but when after around ten minutes you hugged and parted ways their worries eased, both of you assuring everything had been friendly and you were just catching up, reminding that just because you'd not worked out romantically didn't mean one day you might not be able to be friends.

and in the moment both of you had truly believed that might be possible.

nearly a year of build up and finally it happened, the squad roster for the world cup and prep camp was announced and both your own and jenni's names were on it, you'd be playing together again for the first time since your split.

not having spoken since mapi's birthday an olive branch had still seemingly been extended, jenni following you again on instagram as after a couple of days you'd done the same though you'd not interacted bar a few odd likes on posts.

despite alexia's obvious concern you waved off her worries, assuring you had both come to an agreement of sorts at mapi's birthday that you'd like to try and be friends if not at least civil and polite with one another.

your best friend was suspicious but supportive, the two of you arriving to camp together and embracing all of your national teammates you'd not seen in months now as everyone spent the afternoon catching up.

and much to everyones surprise the entire camp and tournament you and jenni seemed on good terms, you'd not hung out or interacted very much one on one but given you were all quite close with the same small group when away on national camp you'd had no issues spending time together in that setting.

as you all flew to new zealand and the tournament kicked off you hugged one another after victories and consoled each other after the loss against japan, any lingering tension melting away as you settled into this new normal building between you both.

everything had been fine and it seemed like you were well on the right track to indeed being friends again, but then you'd won the world cup.

the night of celebrations following your victory had been hazy to say the least, alcohol flowing like water as you all danced and drank and celebrated late into the night.

you had no recollection of going to bed and so waking up with a body beside you you'd assumed it was likely alexia. given it wouldn't be the first time your best friend had dragged you to bed with her when you were far too drunk to walk there yourself.

but as you shifted and groaned quietly at the way your head pounded, an arm settled over your torso pulling you a little closer and you cracked one eye open, very quickly realizing you were half naked and there was an all too familiar ache in your lower body.

and the arm currently holding you was in fact not alexia's.

"oh dios mio. por favor no!" you groaned a little louder this time, burying your face in your hands as small snippets of last night flickered through your mind.

"oh sí, buenos días princesa!" jenni now lay awake beside you, arm retracting from your waist as she stretched with a grunt and flashed you an infuriatingly smug smirk. "do not call me that. get out!" you huffed, in denial that this was even happening right now.

"get out of my room?" jenni chuckled, rolling onto her side and pushing herself up a little, looking down at you as the smirk never left her lips and you continued to hide your face in your hands.

"this never happened. i was drunk, i didn't know what i was doing and you should have stopped it!" you sat up suddenly and shoved at your ex who scoffed as you bent over the edge of the bed, rummaging around the pile of clothes on the floor and pulling out a shirt quickly tugging it on and covering your naked top half.

"me? i tried! but you jumped me like a saltamontes, started grinding on me and dry humping my leg over and over like-" her words fell short as you filled with both rage and embarrassment lunged at her, hands raining down slaps on any inch of her you could connect with, jenni making a strange noise and shielding herself with her arms against the attack.

"vale! vale! this never happened." jenni finally caught your hands in hers as you scowled and pulled them free, slipping out of bed grateful you still had underwear on, clicking your tongue disapprovingly at your ex whose eyes roamed your bare legs.

"it never happened and it won't happen again." you warned, grabbing a pair of jeans which you thought were yours and wriggling yourself into them as jenni rolled her eyes.

"how would it never happen again if it did not happen once?" sitting up properly still half naked the older girl clearly had no shame as she ran a hand through her raven black hair, pushing it to one side of her head.

jenni stretching properly her breasts sat to attention and she caught your eyes flickering toward them as the smug smirk returned to her lips and heat crept up your neck as your gaze wrenched away.

but as you went to leave you heard her clear her throat, slowly turning back around and raising an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest.

"you have something of mine." jenni grinned holding up the other shirt which had been on the floor, turning it to show your number as you glanced down at the one you had on and sighed seeing it was indeed hers.

gesturing for her to toss your shirt to you she shook her head, still grinning at you only boiling your blood. "you first." she gestured for you to return her own top, knowing full well you had nothing else on underneath as your jaw clenched.

with a huff you stripped it off and hauled it at her with all the strength you could muster, the material hitting her in the face as you stormed over and snatched yours from her hand, quickly pulling it on and making a beeline for her door as jenni peeled her top from her face.

"hey chica!" you paused with another deep seeded sigh, hand on the door handle as you again turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

"your ass still looks perfecta in those jeans." your ex grinned as you withheld the urge to launch at her again, simply flinging her door open and yanking it closed with an angry slam.

jenni only chuckled and tossed her own shirt back to the floor, getting comfortable in bed intending to sleep for another few hours until you all needed to leave for the airport later in the day.

for the entire plane ride back and the rest of the post win celebrations now home in spain you steered well clear of your ex, using your hangover as an excuse which seemed to fly with the team who were too busy with their own post win endorphins to pay your odd behavior any attention.

it seemed despite that slip up jenni had agreed that in fact that night never happened, as the months passed and you didn't hear a word from her, not telling a single soul about where you'd woken up that morning.

you didn't see your ex again until a couple of months later toward the back end of october, both of you in london for the week with media commitments for adidas and the ballon d'or ceremony.

you knew from the schedule you'd been emailed that you'd not be able to avoid her, and with nearly all of your friends gushing about how great it was you and jenni were so mature and able to be so friendly despite everything, you knew you had to save face.

so you touched down in london with the lingering hope that maybe you could rectify the mistake made back in august in australia and try to get back on track as friends with the older girl.

the first time you saw her had been at a shoot with adidas for their newest boots, you and jenni of course booked in for the same morning session as the english girls also sponsored clenched the later slot with media of their own to attend to.

it seemed that jenni could in fact be mature when she wanted to as there was no jokes made about either your ass or that night you spent together, the striker truly nothing but friendly and professional.

what you failed to notice however was the way her eyes roamed over you as it was your turn to be photographed, clad only in bike shorts and a sports bra as jenni keenly noticed the new tattoo littering your back, knowing your body so well you could have had a new freckle and she would have picked up on it.

you tensed as the shoot was called for the day and a cold finger absentmindedly traced the dragon which wound down your spine. "i like this." jenni hummed, touch gone as soon as it had arrived as you pulled on a shirt and turned to face her.

"gracias." you smiled politely, called away by your agent before she could say another word, jenni's own attention also needed elsewhere. and for the next couple of days you avoided one another, none the wiser that in fact you were staying in the same hotel as your busy schedules kept you away for most of your time in london.

both of you having taken a few group photos together and exchanging pleasantries the night before at the ballon d'or ceremony, surrounded by other friends and teammates it was easy enough to avoid one another even if that hadn't been intentional.

it came as a surprise as jenni entered the bar of the hotel she was staying at, having waved off her management agency after the last meeting of the trip with now the final night in london to herself, and she spotted you already sat inside at a table by yourself where you'd also just wrapped up your final meeting of the trip.

"hola!" you looked up from your phone and sighed at the toothy grin which greeted you, jenni sitting herself right down opposite you before you could even say another word. "oh claro, do sit down." you chuckled with a roll of your eyes.

"gracias, have you eaten?"

the two of you again seemed to be mature enough not to bring anything up as you ate and drank, jenni of course making jokes about other things to pull any laughter from you she could.

the sound was addictive to her like a drug and you'd always teased her for being quite the jester, egging on she just needed to get a red nose tattooed next to which she'd just rolled her eyes at in amusement.

"i should go, early flight." you excused yourself politely once your plates were cleared, jenni signalling for the check as she caught the waiters eye.

"mine too, but this was nice." jenni smiled sincerely which you returned, a comfortable silence settling before the check was placed down and your ex grabbed it before you could, slipping her card in and handing it back.

"jenni!" you protested with wide eyes, a tattooed hand waving off your protests as her card was returned and you both stood to your feet, your arguments falling on deaf ears as you walked together to the elevator.

"you are so infuriating sometimes hermoso, i could have paid!" you rolled your eyes as the doors closed. "sí you could have, but if you wanted to then you should have been faster." jenni smirked, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall of the elevator.

as she did your eyes couldn't help but roam her body, the girl clad only in suit pants and a matching vest top leaving her tattooed muscular arms out on full display as something stirred within you and you cleared your throat looking away.

meanwhile jenni's own eyes wandered down to your exposed cleavage of the tight corset top you had on, jaw clenching as you inhaled and exhaled deeply sending your chest bobbing up and down which her gaze followed.

without either of you saying a single thing the energy in the elevator suddenly shifted, the floors seeming to slow as they passed one by one, both of your rooms on the upper levels as jenni's bright green eyes met yours.

though you'd only had a few wines at dinner you could feel the alcohol buzzing at the tips of your fingers and before either one of you could blink your lips smashed against one another.

the kiss was messy and clumsy as jenni's hands gripped your hips pressing you against the wall, yours cupping her jaw and grabbing the back of her neck deepening the kiss further.

tongues clashed against teeth and you withheld the urge to moan at the faint taste of red wine and spearmint gum in the older girls mouth, her tongue shoved down your throat as your breath hitched a little.

but just as quickly as you'd latched onto one another you pushed apart, chests heaving as the doors opened and jenni placed her foot across it to stop it closing right away.

"ven aquí." she rasped and pointed to the floor in front of her as you stepped forward and her hands fell either side of your face, her thumb carefully wiping away your now smudged lipstick as your heart rate accelerated again at the oddly tender gesture.

as the taller girl leaned down you puckered your lips assuming she'd kiss you again, only hers curled into their usual smug smirk as they ghosted your own.

"7012." was all she said, her touch disappearing as she stepped out of the elevator and turned, walking away from you without a single look back as you frowned and the doors closed.

you were stunned to silence as the elevator continued upward to your own floor, your skin burning where her hands had been just mere seconds ago.

the ghost of jenni's touch lingering against your body you loathed the way you craved for it to come back, and it was almost as if you blacked out as within what felt like seconds you were outside her door and knocking furiously on it.

"hola." she pulled it open and sang out with a cocky smile, leaning in the doorway as you huffed and forced your eyes not to drop down to where she'd unbuttoned her vest top, conveniently not wearing a bra.

"i don't want to get back together." you started firmly, jenni's smile never dropping from her face as she hummed. "neither do i." she shrugged, hands reaching out to settle on your waist.

slender fingers traced the slivers of skin which protruded from the slits down either side of the top you had on meaning you shivered a little causing her smirk to widen.

"so are you coming inside or would you like me to fuck you in the hallway?" the casual tone in which she said the words had your eyes widening as you looked around and slapped a hand over her mouth pushing her inside.

"nobody is around! relajarse." jenni laughed pulling your hand away as the door closed behind you. "this-" you gestured between the two of you. "-means nothing, sí?" you warned as sternly as you could manage with the predatory way she grinned down at you.

"i have missed the way you think you can boss me around." jenni smirked, advancing slowly toward you with a shake of her head as you huffed.

"we both know who really called the shots when we were together jennifer." you bit back, undeterred as her body met yours and walked you backward until your back hit the door, muscular arms caging you in as her large tattooed hands splayed against the wood either side of your head.

"maybe. but inside the bedroom that was not you, was it?" jenni tutted condescendingly, leaning down as her breath fanned your face. "oh and look where we are cariño? a bedroom." her cocky chuckled vibrated against your neck.

"so are you going to do something then?" you challenged as her head pulled back and she quirked an eyebrow, accepting the bait dangled as her hands grabbed your thighs and easily hoisted you up into her arms, your legs wrapping around her hips as you pressed your lips hungrily against hers.

with her hands occupied yours gripped the back of her neck, dominating the kiss for once and smiling against her lips as you sucked on her tongue and she moaned quietly only spurring you on further.

which is why when your back met the mattress you were quick to push her off of you, straddling her instead and connecting your lips again, only breaking apart as jenni tapped your hips and you pulled your top off as she did the same, both items tossed to the floor.

"hola mis chicas." jenni grinned at your decision to also not wear a bra as her veiny hands squeezed teasingly at your breasts and you groaned. "don't do that! mi dios you are like a horny teenage boy talking to them and that is not a turn on." you warned with a roll of your eyes.

"so bossy." jenni teased as her hands kneaded at them, lips millimeters from yours as suddenly her cold fingers sharply pinched your nipples causing a moan to fly out of your mouth and your head to flick backwards.

"i know how to deal with that though, don't i amor?" jenni cooed as her fingers teasingly tugged at your nipples and you could only nod at the mix of both pleasure and pain as her lips softly kissed at the column of your throat.

"what would everyone else say if they saw you right now hm?" jenni questioned as your hips began to rock against hers subconsciously and her large hands switched between both squeezing and pinching at your chest as her teeth tugged playfully on the lobe of your ear.

"jen no marks!" you warned with a gasp as she nipped at your neck, but her tongue was already licking over the fast forming bruise to soothe it by the time the words left your mouth.

"told you this ass looked perfecta mm? even better in these tight pants tonight cari." you moaned again as her hands trailed downwards to cup your ass instead, squeezing suddenly before you surged forward and captured her lips in a messy kiss.

"less talking more touching." you mumbled out as your hands rubbed across the strong muscles of her back. if you wanted to you could have traced each and every tattoo there from memory, the way your nails dragged against jenni's skin with a slight sting encouraged the girl under you to continue what she was doing.

you fought her to take over the kiss though with a sudden and sharp smack to your left ass cheek a small gasp was all it took for her to win dominance, other hand grabbing your jaw to hold your head still.

your bottom lip trapped between her teeth she tugged on it and gave you that trademark smug smirk, sucking it sharply back into her mouth as you exhaled and jerked on her lap, needing more.

"such a big mouth and bossy attitude but when it comes down to it bebita it is only good for one thing, sí?" jenni mocked, the air stolen from your lungs as suddenly you were beneath her again, shifting uncomfortably as you felt wetness gathering in your underwear though still trapped in the pants you'd worn to dinner.

your pupils dilated even further as her hair which was for once out fell down to frame her face, bright white teeth baring down at you as her strong tattooed hand came to wrap around your neck, squeezing gently to test the waters rewarding her with a small moan which had her ego inflating to the roof.

"but i will put your mouth to work a little later. now i think you need me to take care of you amor, tan impaciente y tan necesitado."

jenni wasn't surprised to wake up to an empty bed the next morning as you'd left for the airport already, every single trace of you gone from her room bar the few marks you'd left on her body and the slight ache between her legs which caused her to smile lazily at the memories of last night.

it was safe to say after that night the two of you fell into an understanding of sorts.

meaning that night was not a one time occurrence, both assuring one another each time that it meant nothing, jenni's eyes rolling as you reminded her over and over you had no intentions of getting back together despite her never asking you to.

you'd managed to keep everything between only the two of you, as far as you knew anyway as you'd not breathed a word to anyone of the late night encounters. sleeping together an additional four times as the months passed until you were both once again called up to spain for national duty and the nations league games.

but knowing there was dozens of your close friends around at all times, none of which were stupid, you had to be cautious not to alert them to anything. so the two of you remaining friendly you'd again and again brushed off jenni's attempts to get you into bed with her during camp.

though you couldn't resist her completely after delivering a crushing 7-1 victory over switzerland, your needs surpassing perhaps your logic as you caught jenni's eye in the change rooms after the match when the celebrations started.

neither of you needed to say a word to know what was going to inevitably follow later that night, but that didn't mean you didn't reap some joy in making her work for it.

all throughout the evening your ex had tried to again catch your eye to hint she'd like to head upstairs as the team celebrated in one of the conference rooms of the hotel.

family and friends welcomed as well you'd found yourself pulled into conversation with your best friends younger sister, alba chattering your ear off and introducing you to a few of her friends which had come to watch.

one of them in particular seemed to take a liking to you, and jenni found her patience wearing thin as with alexia distracted with the presence of her girlfriend nobody stepped in to pull your attention away from alba's incredibly handsy friend.

but knowing she had no claim over you or your focus anymore jenni did her best to distract herself, dancing until her feet felt they might drop off as misa tried time and time again to shove shots down her throat.

but jenni still hopeful of the night ending the way she wanted it to did her best to remain mostly sober, managing to palm off drink after drink to whomever of her teammates was closest at the time.

but as the night started to slowly wind down jenni didnt miss the way various other couples all disappeared together one by one and her yearning for you grew, her patience finally wearing thin.

watching you run a hand through your hair and tilt your head to the side with a loud laugh at something that was likely not very funny, jenni's blood ran cold knowing all too well that was how you flirted.

it was within seconds jenni had a scary realisation as emotions she'd kept bottled up all rose to the surface and she felt lightheaded.

jenni wasn't over you, not even close.

with that in mind the older girl knew the best and smartest move would now be to call it a night, take herself up to her room and recognize that these new feelings heavily complicated whatever arrangement had fallen between you both.

but no, that was far too logical and still with a yearning to follow through on what she'd planned, she made her move.

"hola." you looked up in surprise hearing jenni's voice as she stood behind you, alba's friend you'd been talking to giving her a curious look as jenni's hand squeezed your shoulder.

"you are?" the girl questioned jenni as you shook your head with a small smile at the way her hand stayed on your shoulder. "jenni, her girlfriend." but it was wiped away at that as your head whipped around to glare at her.

"ex girlfriend." you clarified firmly as alba's friend chuckled and pushed to stand up. "sounds complicated. maybe i will see you around barcelona!" she tipped her drink to you before wandering off as you pushed away jenni's hand and stood.

"you cannot help yourself can you?" you accused with arms crossed over your chest. "who, me? she looked like she was making you uncomfortable! i was just being a good friend, really." jenni smiled charmingly, fear causing her stomach to clench as you placed down your drink and walked off without a word.

"well, are you coming or not jennifer?" you called out over your shoulder, anybody within earshot far too drunk to care as jenni near tripped over her own feet in her haste to follow you out of the conference room.

not unlike that night in london the moment you were alone in the elevator your lips connected, though albeit a little more cautiously well aware that if the doors did open anyone could walk in.

you sprang away from one another the moment they did, attempting to straighten yourselves out as she walked just behind you toward your room which was closer than hers.

even with nobody around to see you were nervous as you opened your door and let her in, eyes scanning the empty hallway with a nod before you closed the door, her hands and lips right back on you the moment you did.

"you enjoy this, don't you?" jenni pulled away to question, one hand gripping your neck as the other rubbed small circles into your hip. "making you work for something? very much so." you hadn't answered the question she'd really been asking, too horny to catch onto the hidden meaning as you flashed her a grin.

your smug smile only grew as jenni pushed your body against the wall with a thump, veiny tattooed hands firmly clasping either side of your face and tilting your head back so her tongue could explore every single inch of your mouth as her lips pressed hungrily against yours.

"why did we break up again?" the taller girl pulled away and rasped, both your chests heaving slightly before her lips attacked yours once more.

"you’re stubborn, controlling, argumentative and immature." you mumbled out in between kisses, your own hands slipping up her shirt and pressing against her abs.

"oh is that all?" jenni let you go with a chuckle, grabbing your hands where they were wandering and pinning them against the wall by your sides with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"no you also have jealousy issues, shit tattoos and a superiority complex." you smirked up at her as the older girl snickered and shook her head, letting go of your hands and instead grabbing at your thighs as you jumped on instinct.

"mm princesa now you are just hurting my ego." jenni pouted sarcastically, the two of you now at eyeline as she spun around and walked you both toward the bed, a small hiss leaving your lips as jenni nipped sharply at your neck, tanned skin trapped between her teeth.

"did I mention that’s also grossly inflated?" you breathed out as your back met the mattress and the striker hovered over you with a wolfish grin, jet black hair falling around the two of you like a curtain.

"maybe once or twice." "bien, someone has to keep it in check."

"again with that big mouth cari." jenni tutted, eyes roaming your face with a smirk as your own lips curled upward and you shrugged. "you've always loved it, its not nice to lie." you exhaled, eyes fluttering closed as her hands slipped up your shirt.

"sí, but i much more enjoy the pretty little sounds i can pull from it." jenni teased as you gasped, her hand suddenly slipping down into your shorts and gently caressing you where you needed her though over your underwear.

but right as it seemed your needs would be met her hand retracted and she sat up, shuffling back a little to sit against the headboard of your bed.

"fuera de." her fingers tugged at the bottom of your shirt, making no move to undress herself as you raised an eyebrow but moved to stand, pulling off both your shirt and your bra as your ex watched on through hooded eyes.

"todo." jenni clicked her tongue and nodded to your shorts as you tried to join her on the bed again, rolling your eyes but pulling them down to your ankles, a little slower than really needed as you smirked at the way her eyes never left your now bare chest.

as much as jenni always appreciated your ass, she would always be a boob girl at heart and you knew exactly how to use it to your advantage to get what you wanted.

"you now." you spoke up as jenni smiled and looked like she wanted to say something but stood none the less, ridding herself of her shirt but keeping on both her shorts and sports bra.

"todo." you mocked her earlier word, pointer finger snapping teasingly at the waistband of her shorts with a grin as she towered over you her head shook and she let out a chuckle.

"no." was all she spoke before suddenly you were pinned beneath her on the bed, hands either side of your head and hips pressed to the mattress under her own.

"remember guapa, you like to think you are in charge but that is never the case. is it?" jenni cooed, face hovering just above yours with a teasing grin, letting go of your hands in favour of playing with your chest instead as your eyes closed.

but jenni knowing your own body perhaps better than you did with a sharp tweak of your nipple in her left hand and her mouth sucking at the right a loud moan left your lips as your hands now free tangled in her hair.

your breath caught in your throat as without warning her other hand pulled down your underwear, pushing herself up and off of you for a moment to allow her to kick the black lace away from your ankles in one simple maneuver before she settled herself back on top of you.

"jen por favor!" you breathed out, now uncomfortably wet and needing her to do something about it. "mm what? use that big mouth to tell me what you want and maybe you will get it querida." jenni teased, your mouth opening and closing as her hand trailed slowly down your bare stomach.

"need you." you managed out as her other hand found its home wrapped around your neck, squeezing lightly as you moaned and the sound was music to her ears, rewarded with a kiss that had your head spinning for it.

"need me..." jenni cooed in your ear as she pulled away, teasingly pushing one finger inside you as your hips bucked but she pushed them back down into the mattress with her own, squeezing your neck again when you didn't answer.

"normally so much to say hermosa, no problem running your mouth to your little friend tonight no?" jenni teased, slowly pumping the single digit in and out only causing your need for her to grow as you moaned again.

"do you wish it was her here instead of me? her fingers inside you and her tongue in your mouth? zorrita." jenni hissed in your ear as another finger joined the first and her pace sped up slightly.

though not anywhere near close to what you needed from her you tried to grind upward, the hand which had been wrapped around your neck moving to press against your bare stomach forcing your body to sink deeper into the soft mattress beneath you.

growing impatient of her teasing and with cheeks flushed red your hand flew to tangle in her hair, grabbing a fistful and tugging on it with a huff.

"cállate y fóllame!" you ordered, though it came out much less stern than you'd hoped as your head pushed back into the mattress when her fingers pumped faster.

"mi niña buena. there's that little mouth!" jenni grinned as a string of curses left your lips and you squirmed beneath her, the coil in your stomach starting to tighten as her skilled slender fingers pistoned rapidly in and out of you.

"i'm close! jenni i'm gonna come." you manged to gasp out, nails scratching down her back as you neared the edge. "no, hold it." your eyes flew back open at her words, staring up at her in disbelief as she smirked down at you.

"i can't." "you can." "no jenni por fav-"

"be a good girl and wait." jenni growled as she felt your walls clench around her fingers, feet twitching as you let out a pornographic moan.

"who makes you feel like this? who knows your body best preciosa?" jenni questioned, grinning as her fingers slowed and you whined needily. "answer me." you hissed as her teeth clamped down on your nipple and your hips bucked.

"you, fuck you jenni!" you managed to spit out, wolfish grin widening as she kissed between your breasts and sped her fingers up again.

"so close, jen please!" you begged, unable to hold on much longer as her fingers pumped in and out and in out, her spare hand kneading your chest and tweaking lazily at your overly sensitive nipples as you slipped and tripped not to fall over the edge without her say so.

"sí, such a good girl. come for me amor!" with her permission it barely took another two seconds before your body spasmed under hers and jenni gently coaxed you through your orgasm, slowing down the thrusts of her fingers.

but you barely had time to recover before suddenly her tongue was replacing them and your hands tangled in her hair with a moan. "jesus!" you hissed out as she pinched your clit and her tongue skillfully darted in and out of you, and within what felt like seconds you were on the brink of coming again.

this time jenni made no move to stop you as she shamelessly ate you out, her mouth never leaving you and you were sure she would coax a third orgasm from you but incredibly oversensitive you pulled at her hair and she retracted.

"vale?" jenni questioned as she moved to lay beside you instead, her voice now softer and with an air of slight concern as you nodded, just needing a moment to collect yourself as you caught your breath.

once you had it was no surprise to your ex girlfriend when now you moved on top of her, stamina restored as a smile curled into your lips and her hands palmed at your ass with a grin.

"my turn."

“so cariño since I am the only woman who makes you feel so good. can I take you out for dinner tonight?” jenni grinned with a victoriously cocky glint in her eyes at your words from last night as you only smiled and stepped forward so you were chest to chest with the taller girl.

“oh jennifer when will you learn that the things i say when you are holding my orgasm hostage-“ you leaned up even closer, warm breath fanning her lips which never strayed from the widespread grin as she leant in to close the gap.

“-don’t count.” and with one small push to her chest you sent her stumbling backwards out the door which promptly closed in her face.

“so is that a maybe to dinner then?” the older girl called out hopefully, receiving only silence in reply as she huffed and lightly kicked at your door.

glancing to her right jenni deflated further seeing misa, laia and alexia of course only a few feet away all headed downstairs for breakfast.

“do not say it.” the tattooed striker grumbled as misa sent her a knowing smirk and laia looked on in a mixture of amusement and surprise, both girls hurrying to catch up with their friend as alexia hung by your door to yell at hers.

when the rapid knocks sounded you rolled your eyes assuming it was yet another dinner invitation, jenni having spent the morning trying in a variety of different ways to con you into a 'friendly meal'.

"venga jenni i told you that-" you started as you pilled it open, the words dying in your mouth at the blazing hazel eyes which bore back at you.

"oh. hi ale!" you chirped with a charming smile, your best friend humming clearly unimpressed and forcing her way inside, shouldering past you as you sighed and closed the door after her.

"dios mio it smells like sex in here." the blonde scoffed bluntly as you cringed and alexia started to sit on the corner of your bed before noticing the messed up linen and quickly thinking better of it.

though as the older girl went to sit on the arm chair in the corner you subtly shook your head. "aquí?" alexia asked in disbelief as you grimaced lightly, shaking your head again as she went to lean on the desk, recoiling away with a face of disgust.

"everywhere? increíble!" she gasped with wide eyes as you winced, you and jenni having made much use of the variety of different surfaces in the room last night alongside your shared high stamina.

with a guilty smile you gestured to the bathroom as alexia rolled her eyes but none the less you followed her in there, your best friend sitting on the edge of the bath as you pulled yourself up to sit on the vanity counter.

"explain, now." alexia ordered sternly as you sighed, mind racing to try and find a way out of this. "we....caught up?" you tried with a hopeful smile, face falling as alexia's own remained unwavering, lips pursed into a thin line.

"your ex girlfriend just stumbled out of your room before breakfast and it smells in there like a fifteen year old boy who has just discovered porn!" alexia observed as you winced, opening your mouth to explain but the older girl held up a finger and grabbed out her phone.

"ale what are you-" "hola?" a voice mumbled tiredly as alexia clicked speaker phone, the girl on the the end of the line clearly half asleep as you rolled your eyes.

"really? why do we have to involve her!" you groaned as alexia quickly caught your other best friend up on what she'd walked into. "puta furtiva!" mapi gasped now much more awake at the new information.

"you are getting back together with jenni?" mapi asked as alexia raised an eyebrow clearly also wanting to know the answer. "no we are not getting back together!" you answered with a firm shake of your head.

"but you are sleeping with her again?" mapi questioned as again alexia raised an eyebrow making your eyes roll. "it was one time." you lied dismissively as both your best friends somehow hummed in sync making you give alexia a strange look as if she had grown a second head.

"okay it was a few times. its no big deal!" you scoffed dismissively as mapi gasped again and alexia's eyes narrowed. "when did it start?" the girl questioned as mapi echoed the question curiously.

"the world cup." you mumbled, looking down to the floor and whining as alexia suddenly smacked your thigh and fixed you with a glare. "hit her again for me!" mapi piped up on the phone as you kicked the older girl away as alexia leaned over to do just that.

"in my defense i do not remember that time! i was very drunk as we all were that night. i woke up in jenni's bed the next morning and everything else is still a blur." you sighed honestly, rubbing your face tiredly.

"so if you do not want to get back with her then why are you sleeping with her amiga?" alexia asked accusingly.

"well ale. normal human beings have these feelings called needs, and when you have needs it is sometimes more pleasurable to satisfy them with another human being and not by yourself. but i would not expect a robot like you to understand that!" you pouted sarcastically and jerked your knees up to your chest as your best friend scowled and tried to hit you again as the other one cackled on the other end of the phone line.

"adios maría." alexia huffed in annoyance at the assumed betrayal. "hey wait wait no don't-" but the defender was cut off as alexia clicked end call and slid her phone back into her pocket.

"are you mad at me?" you sighed as the blonde stood up from the bath. "no, a little disappointed you did not tell me but you're an adult who can sleep with whoever she likes." alexia shook her head as she stood to her feet.

"but?" you encouraged sensing she wasn't quite finished, your best friends hands falling either side of your face. "but please be careful, i do not want to see you hurt again, sí?" her eyes now shone with concern as you nodded.

"good. i cannot handle the lack of sleep it would take to be on the phone with you all night while you cry and cry and cry over her again." alexia kissed your forehead and let you go.

"hey!" the affectionate gesture distracted you for a moment before her words sunk in and offence followed, a smile curling into her lips as you pulled yourself off the counter and followed her back into your room.

"now por favor clean this up and spray some perfume or something, even the poor hotel staff do not deserve to deal with this." alexia's nose crinkled in disgust as your eyes rolled and you shoved her.

"honestly putellas you are so dramatic."

right up until that point you were sure that you didn't want to get back with your ex girlfriend, quite content with the current arrangement you had going on.

but a small freak accident the next day at lunch following training put a lot of things into perspective.

you were so exhausted after a brutal gym session that you hadn't paid enough attention to the food put on your tray, following after alexia to a table and sitting down wedged between her and irene.

near starving you hastily shoveled food into your mouth, ignoring your friends attempts to speak with you much to their amusement as laia, misa and jenni took the other vacant seats at the table.

you'd barely swallowed two mouthfuls of food before something felt funny, and you tried to swallow again but started to panic when you couldn't, your fork dropping to the table with a clatter as you began to wheeze.

"hey hey hey, breathe!" alexia tried to help but you shook your head, your throat starting to swell up as panic set in and you began to make a strange honking noise.

"there's peanuts in this, she has eaten peanuts." jenni was the first to realise right away what was going on, eyes wide in fear as they met alexia's who could only open and close her mouth.

"mierda." jenni hissed, on her feet and sprinting off in seconds as both staff and your team mates all hovered by unsure how to help you as the medical officers arrived and you clawed at your throat, moved to sit on the ground as your face began to go blue.

"move!" jenni ordered sternly, elbowing her way in and dropping to her knees, a bright orange epipen in her hand as she rolled up the hem of your shorts and stabbed it into your thigh, clicking the top as the epinephrine entered your system and started to fight the allergic reaction.

"estarás bien amor, estarás bien." jenni promised softly, pushing your hair out of your face as your hands grabbed hers and squeezed, the swelling starting to ease as someone pushed a bottle of cold water into your hand, jenni snatching it and pressing it against your throat.

the staff now having shooed most of your team mates away as to not crowd you only jenni and alexia remained by your side, your best friend gently rubbing your back as her own body trembled with fear and jenni softly caressed your cheek as your breathing began to even out again.

"okay chicas, some space please." one of the medical staff asked gently as alexia backed up and jenni tried to but you grabbed her hand and shook your head.

"vale, i am right here." the girl promised, helping you up to your feet as your body sagged into hers and both her and the medical staff member guided you out of the cafateria and toward the makeshift medical office, where jenni had ran off to in order to grab the epipen.

helped up and onto a padded med bench you sat back and sipped slowly at some water, your blood pressure tested and a quick check of the back of your throat showing the epinephrine was working as the swelling was near gone.

you were aware of jenni in the room still, talking quietly with one of the medical staff as your eyes remained closed and you sucked on an ice cube, working on evening out your breathing.

"gracias." you managed to wheeze out with a small smile as the staff member stepped out of the room, jenni pulling herself up to sit beside you on the padded bench.

"how did you know?" you croaked out after a few minutes of silence passed between you, turning to look up at her as she smiled. "because i know you. and had i been near you when you were getting food i'd have known not to let you get the noodles because they have traces of peanuts, estúpido!" she teased, gently bumping her shoulder into yours.

"but how did you-" "i still remember. all the foods you can and cannot have, even with just traces." jenni admitted, a slight blush coating her cheeks at the admission as she avoided your eyes.

at that small confession a tidal wave of emotions crashed over you and you sat there in silence trying to process them, jenni not pushing you to speak but staying by your side as she'd promised earlier, though if you asked her to she would leave.

it was then that you realised with her small admission of even just such a simple thing as remembering your allergies, the obvious care from the older girl had forced you to no longer ignore what had been glaringly gnawing at you for months now, you weren't over jenni, not even close.

"jenni." you spoke up as she hummed, turning to look down at you as now you avoided her eyes. "i do not think i can do this anymore. the sleeping together, the sneaking around, i do not think it is a good idea." you forced out, expecting her face to fall but missing the way she paused.

"why?" she asked softly, trying not to get her hopes up as you sighed. "its...too complicated." your answer somehow filled her with even more hope, a hand settling cautiously on your knee but when you made no move to push her away she relaxed a little.

"hey, look at me." you did as she asked, her eyes searching yours for a moment before speaking again. "i still love you cariño, more than i have been willing to admit to myself." jenni confessed, the words terrifying her but knowing no matter the outcome she needed to get them off her chest.

"i know i did not fight for you when we broke up, and i think that will always be my biggest regret." jenni continued, spurred on as your hand gently settled on top of hers which still sat at your knee, a small nod encouraging her further.

"but i think-no i know. i know now that i needed this time to realise that you are what matters, not how other people look at you in a club or what you wear when you go dancing or who is around you when i am not there. i lost sight of what mattered when i let other people take priority in our relationship over you." jenni exhaled shakily, your thumb gently rubbing over her knuckles, frown on your face though not one of judgement.

"i know we live on opposite sides of the world, and there is still a lot of work to mend what was broken but, and perdóname for being so forward, but if i do not say this now then i will not say it. is there a chance for us to...well, be us again?" jenni laid everything down in front of you, not pushing anymore than that as another silence fell between you both.

"i think you are right, there is still a lot of work to be done and it will take a lot of time to get back even close to how we used to be. i do not want to be hurt again and to build that trust back will take time as well." you started softly, jenni nodding along hanging off your every word.

"but i think, i think maybe we could start to get back to the basics. i love you too jenni, actually i do not think i ever really stopped."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and fin! there shall be no part two to this, you can use your imaginations to dream up if they did/didn't get back together. meanwhile i will continue to be an overthinking nervous wreck about taking the jump of posting smut for the first time. will i wake up tomorrow and delete this? maybe, who knows! only time shall tell

#woso #woso community #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #jenni hermoso #jenni hermoso x reader #woso blurbs #espwnt

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taylortruther · 2 months

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I've been following the discourse on The Alcott, which I love, and I couldn't resist chiming in (long-time reader, first time sending an ask hehe). I agree a lot with everything that has been said, and even though The Alcott is canonically about Matt and his wife, I do think aspects of Taylor's dynamic with Joe towards the end inevitably bled into it.

In the song, The Alcott is a place sacred to the lovers bc it's where one of them runs off after a fight and the other one chases after them, and in the Alcott (could be a bar or cafe), they manage to reconcile. To me, "I get myself twisted in threads to meet you at The Alcott" is the charcater saying that he will do whatever is neccessary to meet his lover at this place of reconciliation in order to fix things after a fight, no matter how hard it might be, but in a way it's also the character saying that he will pick fights over silly things, as in having to do mental gymnastics ("get twisted in threads") to find something to fight over just to get the chance to meet her at the Alcott, bc even if the rs is going through a horrible rough patch where they're emotionally distanced from each other, causing a fight would force them to at least feel something towards the other and talk, and that is better than feeling nothing, even if the emotion is anger. He knows exactly where she will be bc that's where she retreats to when they fight ("I'd go to the corner in the back, where you'd always be"), and seeing her there reassures him that that's where she (and him) will continue to run to in the future: not away from each other, but to this place of reconciliation. She's "writing something about someone that used to be me [him]", which could be a way of saying that she's now writing about someone else that she might be falling in love with as she's falling out of love with him. However, to me it feels more like a reference to how in the last couple of years (see the Joe songs on Midnights) Taylor reverted to writing about the beginning of their rs, back when things were good and joyful, bc at the present things were very bad and she desperately wanted to get back to how good it once was; hence why she's writing about it. I agree that "the last thing you wanted" and "the first thing I do" is referring to saying "I love you"; the reason why it's the last thing she wants could be bc that's how he usually tries to fix his wrongs in an easy way and she's tired of him saying that but not actually making an effort with his actions, which I do think Joe was guilty of towards the end. Or, alternatively, it could be bc the charcater has fallen out of love with him and therefore doesn't want him to say "I love you" bc she can't truthfully say it back. "I tell you my problems, you tell me the truth" could also be in this context: he tries to apologize by telling her his issues, she tells him that the truth is she no longer loves him. In the context of Joever, however, imo it refers to Joe telling her all the problems he has with her excessive fame and the public attention on them that it implies etc, and Taylor being honest about how songwriting and performing are an essential part of who she is, and giving it up forever would be devastating to her. But that she would do it for him if it could save them.

The fact that he waits for her to look up makes me think that he's cautious bc she might still be angry and/or that he doesn't have the courage to initiate the apology, and instead waits for her to do it or tries figure out what to say that will earn her forgiveness. "How many times will I do this and you'll still believe?" shows that he knows he screwed up badly and has done so repeatedly, yet she still always forgives him bc that's how much she believes in their love and wants to fight for it. How long can the relationship withstand and survive his repeated offenses again and again though? (which goes back to "how long could we be a sad song till we were too far gone to bring back to life?").

"Tell me which side are you on" is very interesting in reference to the "you fire off missiles cos you hate yourself" in Renegade and the "I tried to be your bravest soldier, fighting in only your army, frontlines don't you ignore me" in YLM. She's saying "why are you fighting against me, when we're supposed to be fighting together? I'm not the enemy, I'm always on your side and fighting for you", yet he still (consciously or subconsciously) treated her like the enemy, blaming her for things that were completely out of her control and all the outside stuff that they thought was the cause of their rs problems, instead of being on her side and fighting for her too. He left her all alone on the frontlines and not only ignored her efforts but also contributed to the missiles fired her way. Will be very interesting if she further develops the Archer metaphor in TTPD, under the theme of "I had only arrows as defense from your angry missiles and your love bombs" or something akin.

"Have I become one of your problems?" seems like her conclusion to him telling her his problems: apparently, they all have to do with her/her career. Yet, she's clearly exhausted and drained by their fights, and desperately wants it to be easy for once, so she puts the blame on herself ("everything that's mine is a landmine"), knowing that her continued forgiveness and desire to love him could redeem and heal him but it could also very much enable him to keep hurting her ("did my love aid and abet you?").

Then, as the lovers sing "I'll ruin it all over for you" together, they're both accepting the blame for the fight equally, which is the ideal conflict resolution (but sadly, not at all how I think it went with Taylor and Joe towards the end).

The back and forth in the last chorus is particularly gut wrenching to me. In a way, it echos the desperate begging and pleading in the bridge of YLM, but in this case it's softer, more hopeful perhaps, and as you and anon said, it alludes to pain and pleasure (both emotional and sexual): she's telling him "go ahead, shit on my art and my job, rip it off me, set the terms and conditions you want ("read my sentence out loud"); anything to save our love" but there's also a darkness to this, where she would rather he use her for his own physical pleasure even when still mad at her bc that way he at least feels something for her, which is very 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 but it goes to back to how in the beginning of the song he says he will pick fights in order to at least make her feel something (anger/rage) towards him, instead of remaining in the coldness and disconnect in which they were before. Florence + The Machine's song "Dream Girl Evil" describes this type of dynamic very well imo (which is even more😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫), where sex is used as both a weapon during conflict and as a means of resolution. I do think this was the case with Taylor and Joe after their honeymoon phase (False God, Afterglow) and also towards the very end, hence the TTPD cover. During folkmore it seems like they had a couple of years where they learned to use their words to resolve arguments instead of resorting to sex, but unfortunately went back to that dynamic when the rs started to fall apart.

In this way, the metaphorical Alcott for Taylor and Joe was the bedroom ("you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis"): it became their sacred place of reconciliation. Their love, once a blessing, is now a curse, but a curse that she loves and cherishes bc it's theirs, it keeps them together, within this home (both physical and metaphorical) they have built together over the years; she sees no other option but loving him (as we know, Taylor thought she would die if she lost him). All of this is emulated in the beautiful yet vulnerable and almost sad way in which Taylor sings the last "back in love with you": in The Alcott, sacred place for the lovers, they reconcile and fall back in love with each other.

I didn't mean for this to turn into an essay but oh well 😅 those are my two (or twenty) cents. Would love to hear what you and the anons think! Also, I love reading your blog, your takes are brilliant :)

i don't have much to add, because i like just letting this interpretation just sit on its own! but i do love that your interpretation of the alcott being the bedroom fits in perfectly with the discussions we've been having the last 2-3 days.

other things i really liked here:

Will be very interesting if she further develops the Archer metaphor in TTPD, under the theme of "I had only arrows as defense from your angry missiles and your love bombs" or something akin.

me too!!! how will the combat theme she discusses so often evolve in ttpd?

also intrigued by this:

"Tell me which side are you on" is very interesting [...] She's saying "why are you fighting against me, when we're supposed to be fighting together? I'm not the enemy, I'm always on your side and fighting for you",

and:

Or, alternatively, it could be bc the charcater has fallen out of love with him and therefore doesn't want him to say "I love you" bc she can't truthfully say it back. "I tell you my problems, you tell me the truth" could also be in this context: he tries to apologize by telling her his issues, she tells him that the truth is she no longer loves him

this was my first take!

but what i've noticed is that everyone has a different opinion on which role taylor is occupying (the one going to the alcott and confessing, or the one receiving the confession.)

also, i feel the need to address this for the readers: no, we do not know which parts specifically that taylor wrote, and she did write this from the pov of matt berninger's wife. acknowledged!

#the alcott #ttpd #*combat #false god #afterglow #florence #*intimacy #*miscommunication

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winterspiderpurrs · 6 months

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Prompt - if you’re so inclined : ABO fic that starts off Spidershield, but ends up Winterspider - Steve abandons Peter on the eve of their mating/wedding bc some call (author’s choice) begs him to come back to them and Bucky steps in as an alternate. Unknown to Peter, Becky’s always loved him but stayed silent due to loyalty to Steve. And unknown to Bucky, Peter liked him back, especially when he attempted to smooth over all the times Steve ignored or dismissed Peter.

At the hotel Bucky was hanging his suit up to make sure he it didn't have wrinkles. He sighs and then goes to stand out on the balcony. Digging into his pocket to pull out his cigarettes to light one.

Tomorrow was the big day. Steve was finally going to get married to Peter. They had dated for a few years now. He was kinda surprised when Steve told him he was going to propose. He honestly didn't think they would have lasted as long as they did.

He was happy that Steve found someone as sweet and loving as Peter. Peter got along with everyone, and could dish it out like the best of them. And it didn't help that Peter smelt so amazing. Bucky has never been so attracted to a scent before.

But once Steve introduced the omega to him, he knew he could never have him. Couldn't do something like that to Steve. Even if his inner alpha was screaming at him.

Especially ever since he walked in on Steve talking down to Peter once. He knew it wasn't for the first time, either. How many times have they arrived and Steve is all smiles, and Peter eyes were a little watery. He shakes his head before he takes another drag of his cigarette.

He stayed out on the balcony to smoke a few more cigarettes before he heard the sound of Steve coming into the room. They decided for the night before to stay in the same room for now since tomorrow Steve and Peter would be in the honeymoon suite before flying out to go to Cancun. Steve really wanted to go there, Peter agreed though he had wanted to somewhere else, either California or even getting a cabin in the smokey mountains if they weren't going over to Europe somewhere.

He slides the balcony door open to step into the room.

" Hey Stevie what took.... what are you doing?"

Bucky frowns at Steve who is currently packing his bags in a hurry. Steve froze and looked up at Bucky, like he forgot they were sharing a room.

" Uh ...shit. Something came up."

Bucky blinks.

" And it can't wait? You're getting married tomorrow."

Steve starts back up packing. Zipping up his bag.

" I'm not."

Bucky stares.

" Your not... what? What's going on Steve? I can go get Peter if you.."

" No!"

Steve clears his throat and got closer to the door. He sighs runs his fingers through his hair.

" Peggy called. She is back stateside... we had dinner... I've moved my flight to tonight. She and I are going to Cancun."

" your going to...what the fuck about Peter? Are you shitting me right now Steve?"

" You know how I love Peggy. This is my chance"

" Again What About Peter?"

" You know that things weren't great between us. But he wanted marriage and"

" Cut the bullshit Punk. He wanted to be married before he got knotted. That doesn't mean he was pushing to be married. YOU proposed to him. YOU were the one who talked about marriage. "

Bucky walked quickly over to Steve, shoving him.

" Why even put him through this? You know how devastating this is going to be for him? My god Steve. How stupid do you have to be? "

" Hey now! Are you my friend or his? You should have my back in this"

Bucky sighs and rubs his own face. " I'm your friend you Know that Steve. But... are you sure? Cause once you go... I don't think Peter would take you back. Hell. Tony and Natasha might even kill you for this"

" It's a chance I'm willing to take. I dont want to be with him"

" hell of a time to decide that. Kudos for atleast not going through with but damn how did Peter take it?"

Steve looks down and then at the door.

"He doesn't know"

Bucky blinks and then throws a punch into the wall.

" Are you fucking kidding me? What were you gonna do? Just let him get all dolled up for the wedding and just not show up?"

" If you care so much why don't you just fucking marry him?" Steve snares back at Bucky.

" Maybe I fucking will. Any Alpha would be proud to have someone like Peter. I hope its worth it Steve. Shit."

Steve turns and glares at Bucky. Not really believing that Bucky would actually try to get with Peter. But he still felt unjustifiable possessive of the little omega.

" Your not his type"

" Your right. I'm an ass but I don't hide it"

Steve sighs and opens the door. " I'll let you know when I land. After things.... cool down let me know. "

Bucky shakes his head.

" Your unbelievable Steve. Just go. I'll figure something out with this."

"Thanks"

Steve leaves and Bucky is left in the hotel room steaming still. God. This was a horrible situation. He paces for a while, goes back to the balcony, smokes through the rest of his pack of cigarettes. Before he sighs and calls Tony.

" Hey Buckaroo, why you calling so late? Cap not getting cold feet huh?" Tony laughs and Bucky takes a deep breath.

" Does Peter have a passport?"

" Does Peter have a... of course he does but he doesn't need one for Cancun."

" Do you still owe that villa in Italy?"

Bucky could hear some shuffling going on in the background of the phone. Pepper asking Tony what was going on.

" Yeah. Steve decided to surprise Pete with a honeymoon he wants?"

" If Peter agrees... can you fly us out tomorrow?"

" Yeah sure can get you the jet but... wait.. pause a second. Key word there. 'Us' as in you steve and Peter? Is this a thruple situation I've never been told about?"

Bucky could tell Tony was getting worked up.

" No throuple situation. Me and Peter"

There was silence on the line. Then you could hear something being thrown and Happy could be hear coming into the room.

" You and Peter having an affair"

"No."

Tony growls through the phone.

" It's Steve isn't it"

" Yeah... he just left"

" God damnit"

" I'm going to tell Peter..."

" He doesn't even know?! I'll kill him i swear to god."

" just... let me talk to Peter"

" he is on the 7th floor, room 715"

And thats how Bucky ended up knocking at Peter's hotel room door.

Peter opened the door smiling but then saw the look at Bucky's face.

His should sag and his eyes water a little.

" He... isn't coming tomorrow...."

Bucky shakes his head.

" I'm sorry Doll"

He moves to gather Peter in his arms, walking them into the room before closing the door.

" I talked to Tony... how about we get out of here yeah? We can go tour Italy... forget all this."

Peter sniffles.

" What about the venue? Oh god what am I gonna tell May?"

Bucky licks his own lips, looking to the side before moving to take a step away from Peter.

" I know that... we aren't close.... close as we could be given.. the circumstances...but.."

He shuffles his feet, nervously running his hand through his long hair. Huh his bun must of fallin out.

" if you Peter would have me.... I'll love to prove to you... every day how much I care about you... how much I could love you"

Peter sits down on the edge of the bed staring up at Bucky.

" What... what do you mean...Jamie... I.."

Bukcy kneels down infront of Peter, grasping his hands.

"I'll marry you tomorrow. Fuck Steve. I know I'm not the..best Alpha out there. But I promise I will always take care of you Peter Parker."

" Barnes"

" Yeah Doll?"

" Peter Barnes... if.. if we go through with this"

" Are you sure? "

Peter bites his bottom lip nodding.

" Even when... when I was with Steve... it was always you taking care of me... when I was sick... when Steve would cancel... you... I've always liked you Jamie... just.. never got to ... explore that. I .. I don't cheat. "

" Tomorrow, it's me and you at that alter then Doll... Tony is gonna fly us to the villa right after... and we can deal with the rest when we get back... I bet Tony will get everything ready."

Steve didn't know what happened til after he came back to his apartment after two weeks away.

No one saw Peter and Bucky til almost two months later. They had just gotten back from their extended honeymoon, touring Italy, then France. Both sporting tans and Peter? The start of a very small baby bump. Twins apparently ran in the Barnes family.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-

I hope you liked this! Kinda did my own spin to the request, but I enjoyed the ask very much!

#thanks for the ask!#prompt answered #omega peter parker #alpha bucky barnes #winterspider #peter parker x bucky barnes #peter x bucky #winterspiderpurrs

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hackedmotionsensors · 4 months

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but i liked the romance aspect.

okay so listen. No there isn't OFFICIAL romance in the series because Oda has made the series extremely asexual on purpose. 1) Most Shonen jump mangaka can't write romance for shit (Looking at you Kishimoto SPECIFICALLY)

2) He's mentioned that because the initial target audience is young boys (literally shounen) that he thinks boys aren't into that.

but what the series has is ~ROMANCE~ in the literary sense!!!! And also....lads we've been shipping characters since the last 25 years like if you want a fucking treasure trove (lmao) of romance zosan is right there. Zolu is right there. Lusan is right there. LUSAN IS SO GOOD WHOLE CAKE ISLAND IS BASICALLY A LOVE LETTER TO SANJI AND HOW FAR LUFFY WILL GO TO KEEP BABYGIRL ON THE CREW

NamiRobin, FrankyRobin, NamiVivi are also really popular too!!! Like!!! TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF FUNNY AND DEVASTATING AND YOHOHOHO!!!!

There's also a Blackbeard IN one piece only he sucks and i hate him (he's a FANTASTIC villain lmao)

I have literally cried MORE TIMES reading one piece than any other form of literature ever.

If you're not sure the live action is a great way to test the waters (lol) but I DEFINITELY recommend the anime or the manga much much more. The first major arc (East Blue) is covered for the most part in the live action but the live action leaves out SO MUCH STUFF (money reasons, physical reason, time constraints, awkward writing for people unfamiliar with the series and directors that don't know how to lean into shounen media....odd costume choices lol) but quite literally its maybe the best we could have hoped for from Netflix and its honestly really fun to watch!!

I totally agree that The Terror (kinda boring but great) and Black Sails (like honestly so fucking much and I didn't like it at all) are ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than OFMD like they couldn't be MORE different outside of the fact they take place on boats. Thats like convincing someone to play Red Dead Redemption bc they like Stardew Valley. Like yeah there are farms in both but HELLO!????

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nonuggetshere · 5 months

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25 for White Lady?

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I remember she came off as so mean, cold and detached. And then I went to look up art of her and everybody portrayed her as a loving mum who's SO devastated over the fate of her children and I got SO confused?? Had to rematch her interactions with Ghost bc I thought I missed something LMAO, felt like i was being gaslighted for a hot second and didnt understood her character. But, honestly I wasn't crazy about her At All until I got back into Hollow Knight this year, like I just couldn't care less about her before, she didn't even exist in my mind and my AUs or any content I created of her (drew her Once when I was making concept art for FaaF and her fave wasnt even in the picture KDBDJDBD). The literally One Single Time I wrote about her was when I first made FaaF AU and she was SO awful there (both she and PK eventually got rewritten to be better parents, it works better story-wise)

Anyway I kind of got off track-

I really got into her character proper just this/last year when I got back into Hollow Knight. I still think she's mean but I love her for it, I support women's wrongs 💜 I think her character is interesting, I also think it's kind of wild that Ghost can just. Go and talk to their mum. Like that's just something they can do. And they can just keep coming back to her to show her stuff, like the flower. It's neat. Her actions are haunting the narrative but she's just kind of chilling there and doesn't give a fuck

(The fuest time I drew her vs the first time I drew her for realises (both faaf))

#thylacines can talk #asks #obviously you know me. I am completely behind any depiction of a character no matter how OOC. The only time it rubs me the wrong way is if #people pretend it's canon or use it to prop up or demonise another character #and both of these were true for these old characterisations of WL. People acted like its canon + only made her a tragic mother/wife figure #so they can demonise PK. Basically robbed them both of any depth for a clitche depiction. and honestly im all for a tragic mother figure WL #but just. pretending its canon or making PK the villain and nlaming only him for what happened rubs me the wrong way #faaf au

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esta-elavaris · 6 months

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AAAAAND WITH THAT-- WE ARE DONE! I just finished and queued up my final flufftober fill to be posted tomorrow! Thirty-one stories in thirty-one days. One more story than I originally planned, because I couldn't resist in the end. 55,105 words total for flufftober alone, in addition to the ~four chapters of HWFG I wrote, and novel work, which brings the total up to somewhere between 75-80k. On a year where I decided I would not be taking part in NaNo events, to give myself a break from insane output expectations 💀 I'm actually stunned that I managed it. I went into it sure that I'd fall behind and some would be late, or I'd end up still going through the list in November, or something. But uhhh?? Insanity prevailed!

I'm especially proud because a depressive episode hit in the final week, which was? The worst possible outcome (bar the 'vid, which is what happened last year, so there's definitely a curse afoot) but I managed it!! It was more difficult than NaNo in some ways bc at the end of those days your stuff doesn't need to be fit for reading, but the lack of focus on the word count itself really helped me get caught up in the stories, which made it a lot more fun.

Again, thank you guys so much for all of the lovely responses and the likes and the reblogs and the general enthusiasm, it quadrupled the fun I had with it all this month, and it was a blast experimenting with new pairings without taking on the commitment of a proper long!fic. Can't wait to get back to all of the fics I neglected over the last month!...and to be freed up to write some devastation 👀

But first, I think I've earned a nap 💜

...until 2024.

#RIP to october 2024 lucy who now has to match this #she's cursing me rn frfr #esta's flufftober '23 fills

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zooophagous · 1 year

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idk man im not gonna shit on ur onions but i used to be pro breeding myself but that was when i was living in the netherlands where theres barely any strays whatsoever, and the shelters are more or less empty (last i checked, my local shelter only had three cats). then i moved to turkey, lived there for like 4 years, and the amount of strays devastated me so much. the stray kittens even moreso, with most ended up getting blind bc their moms didnt care for them properly enough. they were good kittens too, loving and affectionate, and they wouldve made great lap cats. and then id hear of people just getting british shorthairs and scottish folds instead (for some reason turks Love british shorthairs and scottish folds the most, with the latter being Bleh). and it just, idk? i had to bury like nearly 10 kittens while at the same time hearing about someones british shorthair. so yeah, in some areas and countries, i really do feel like being anti breeding is. the more moral choice tbh

I do understand how people come to that moral stance. The way I personally look at it is that people will always go get the animal they want; and if a person chooses to purchase rather than adopt its usually because it was easier to buy what they wanted than to adopt it.

When I decided I wanted a bengal, I actually did try to adopt before I went the breeder route. I've got several applications on file with major nationwide bengal rescue groups, but given that transportation usually is not an option, a cat hasn't come up in my area. And when one has, it either couldn't live with other cats or someone else was approved first.

But a bengal was what I wanted, so I stuck out waiting for several years before getting Cheza. I didn't go adopt one of the other (perfectly good) cats in the shelter because I was specific in what I wanted. I'm still on the adoption list from the rescues though, and should the opportunity arise I'd adopt a bengal (or potentially one of the f6 or higher savannas depending on the individual) from them rather than purchase a cat.

I'm also of the opinion that "both is good" and I'm happy to have adopted a weird mutt dog and a little trash cat and will do so again in the future.

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fanfiction-artist-prototype · 22 days

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idk who your knight oc is but here's an invitation to talk about them because ik the feeling of wanting to gush dkjdshajsd

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

So.

She's part of a reincarnation triad - her, her sibling and the villain. Theyre like soul mates in a sense trapped in a battle of hood and evil and the siblings are typically on the good side . If two of the 3 are dead then THEY teincatnate but if only 1 of the 3 does then the soul remains trapped in stasis till the 2nd dies and they can pass on. If 2 out of the 3 have moved onto the next reincarnation the 2 out of 3 rule is disregarded when the last of the previous incarnations die.

Anyway. Context over.

Eryx (typically a masc name from what I can find but??) Is like the expendable one out of the destined heroes. Her place is folklore has always been the protector; thr myth going that they all reincarnate because her original body was stroke down literally by the divine so that she couldn't usurp the heavens for allowing her sister to die at the hands of a evil god . Said God was then stripped of godhead and became our third (antagonist).

Because of this reputation after each incarnation is identified Eryx is always sequestered away and pumped full of rhetoric about protecting her sibling, giving her life for them, doing WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep then alive. The Knight is SUPPOSED to be the one to die first out of the two of them.

So this incarnation of Eryx is raised with the notion that the antagonist dies first and she either dies in the process of killing him or lives as long as possible to ensure the hero dies of old age but ultimately has to kill herself before the hero can die so that the next incarnation isn't left waiting for their Knight and potentially gets put in danger.

Because of this, this Eryx never discovers that her biological little sister in this incarnation is her actual incarnated sister until she is sent out on a mission to "distract" the antagonist only to discover some random crony killed her sister. Who was eight. Context, Eryx is only 15 here. She goes ballistic, powered by magic storms the antagonists Chambers and they have back and forth abt like. You can't kill me! Only those sworn by the gods can do that!

And she's like "my oath is to destroy whatever prevents her survival and your death will be her rebirth" kills antagonist and waits patiently for the next rebirth.

She refuses to go back to the temple bc they sent a child to die (she refuses to acknowledge she's a child. She has most of her past memories she's fine. Totally an adult mentally. Totally not a scared and devastates child refusing to process grief.

Years pass and as she's travelling as a merc for hire (Royal family have her on retainer she just wanders and helps when they don't want the living hero of legend to fight their wars for them) she finds a newly orphaned kid in the charred remains of a village. Immediately clocks her as her reincarnated sister.

Takes her in, travels around projecting the memories of past incarnations onto this child bc grief. Is very much a "I won't let you die bc I want what you could be but if you dying brought MY sister back I would let you die" atm.

Her sister just wants someone to love her and will take whatever she can get.

Eryx a devotional Knight who almost smite the heavens who neglects and fools herself into thinking ahe loves the girl who won't ever be the dead little girl she wants her to be. The tragedy is is that she mourns the living and lives through the dead.

Her entire character arc is not dissimilar to that typical grumpy mentor learning to love their new kid? But like. She realises she loves THIS kid not who she wants them to be, and has to reckon with how she's treated her.

Also antagonist romance drama bc I'm an absolute slave for a good "star crossed lovers" thing.

Anyway. One big burst bc I do have more for Eryx but like. I could waffle for hours. Thank you again for sending this ask !!

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khodorkovskaya · 1 year

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storytime: i caused a divorce

the story starts in 2019... i used to give language lessons when i was in highschool to make some pocket money and found students through facebook groups or specialised websites. when i started uni however i stopped because not only did i not have the time, but i also kinda grew out of it. i had about a dozen students and ive been teaching for 4 years, it was time to move on. so i told my students that i'll no longer be available and stopped looking for new ones. until i got a very peculiar message... little did i know, it was the start of a new friendship.

let's call him lucien for the sake of the story. now how do i even describe him to you guys?

the first time i met him was at his office for a language lesson. and he was devastated because his wife (let's call her sarah) had just left him after 10 years of marriage. she left him for another woman... (and later had a gf who had hpv??? but idk if that's the woman she left him for?) anyway, he was very sad and heartbroken.

lucien is very neurodivergent (huuuge adhd and idk if it's a joke or not but he said he's been diagnosed with schizophrenia?? but again he says random shit all the time so idk). he's somewhere on the ace spectrum and never had sex with sarah. bc (1) he's not interested in sex and (2) she's like 20 years younger than him and he felt uneasy about it. and he's also weirdly rich. i say weirdly because he's not a standard kind of rich person. he has periods where he is literally broke and has to beg sarah for money to buy instant noodles. and he has periods where he makes 6 figures in a week. and when he does have money, he doesn't keep it for very long bc he spends it all on expensive hobbies.

now let me explain his expensive hobbies to you. because he doesn't drink and doesn't do drugs (he used to do lots of drugs back in the 90s, has tried everything and a lot of his friends died from overdose yikes). but he is very passionate about his life. he spends tens of thousands on professional diving school and diving equipment, jumps out of planes for fun (with a custom parachute transported to him from lichtenstein ofc), he has all kinds of gadgets that cost more that tuition at elite american colleges, he used to spend 2k a month just to learn how to ice skate, the list goes on... it's insane. id love to tell you guys more about the guy but i can't reveal too much. but if we're chill and you follow me on insta hmu and i'll show you his profile.

so anyway, over the years we've been thru a lot together. we went to russia together, he paid for shooting lessons for me, he gave me an ak-74 once as a present and uhh yeah that was uh an experience.... when my cousin came over last summer we went for a plane ride together. and this year we've been obsessed with ice skating.

every sunday lucien, sarah, my bestie and i would go to the rink. it was my favourite part of the week! the four of us would have a blast! my bestie and lucien would skate in a pair and sarah would show me different techniques and stuff bc im a beginner skater. it was great! sarah struggles with mental health issues and she's been on and off medication, so she's been depressed and tired all this time and now she was finally looking happier and she'd come ice skating with us every time and we'd chat after skating and get coffee together, me and my bestie loved it!

then when the season came to an end lucien offered to buy me and my bestie ice skates! we couldn't be more excited! he often buys his friends presents and judging by the obscene amounts of money he spends on his hobbies and gadgets, it didn't stand out of the ordinary. the four of us went to a professional shop in lausanne and got ice skates and then we went to a museum and had so much fun, it was great! i was so happy that sarah came too bc lucien was telling me how it was a struggle for her to be on her feet all day bc she usually takes lots of naps bc of medication withdrawal. but she seemed fine and we had lots of fun together!

during the trip i briefly mentioned that i wanted to go to skating summer camp and said to my bestie that i was probably gonna save up some money and go bc it's a lot of fun.

and

the next day

lucien sent me 1000chf to my account with a note saying that it's for the skating camp

i was shocked ofc but decided not to say anything over messages but talk to him about it in person the following day bc we were going skating together (my bestie couldn't come cos she was working and sarah didn't come either). he said that he feels the need to support young people's willingness to do things and it's a great initiative that would be a shame for me to miss if i didn't have the money. and i was like okay that's fair and i asked him if he was coming too. and he said he wanted to make sure with me whether it was okay for him to come too bc he didn't want to be creepy. and we agreed that we'll all go together, me, lucien, sarah, and if my bestie isn't working that week we could maybe get her to come along too. he said that if it's only young people and women there, he will sleep at a hotel or at his parents' place (bc his parents have a villa in that region) to not make everyone uncomfortable. we were v excited and i was looking forward to going skating with the usual crew!

and this morning guess what! i receive a message from sarah on our family business email address (so my parents received it too), reading the following:

"id like to inform you that i find lucien's sponsoring of you unhealthy and it's turning into financial domination.

because of that, starting today i have launched a definitive divorce procedure because i don't want to be part of this triangle anymore.

kind regards,

sarah"

ooooo the drama! who could've expected that!!?? and to my parents' email too? good lord!

disclaimer, im not a fake mental health advocate at all and i support all mentally ill women, especially those who display mental illness symptoms! whether you're an alcoholic and it's not a pretty sight or whether your mental health is causing you to act out messy or whatever, i will always be on your side and i will never call you "crazy" or blame you no matter what! i will defend mentally ill women till the end!

so im on sarah's side on this 100%! idk what lucien has told her and she knows him better than i (or my bestie) do. but for me it was clear that we were ALL going to skating camp. if it was for me only i wouldn't have accepted bc yeah that's weird. and lucien, no matter his neurodivergence, has full responsibility of how he spends his money. so idk what went down behind the scenes. maybe he didn't tell her and she just saw that he sent me 1k from his bank account?? whatever it is, lucien better figure shit out bc sarah has been dealing with too much already. she's sacrificed so much for him! and she can do so much better, no offence to lucien ofc, but she's drop dead gorgeous and an amazing person! im rooting for her!

and do i think she will go thru with the divorce? probably not. she's been "threatening" with divorce for a while now and i think that possibly she was having an episode or something when she sent the email. my stepmum does these kind of things. like she'll be normal and then she'll be manic and write weird emails to my mum and call her a whore and stuff. so receiving this email gave me flashbacks and tbh i can't take it seriously.

but i hope our skating group will make it out of this incident just fine. and i still really want to go to skating camp with everyone :(((

im seeing lucien tomorrow so i'll keep you guys updated!

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darcyfangirlsfrequently · 2 years

Text

Some of my favorite comments I've gotten on Ao3

"Oh great Abby, possessor of The Braincell.I am in love with your fic, that is with" The Abigail Agreste AU

"Oh things are getting more emotionalEvery chapter you write outdoes your last. I can't tell you how excited I get when I get a notification that you posted" The Abigail Agreste AU

"BYE MIDDLE SCHOOL ME WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO KNOW THIS EXISTS" One Year Later

"anyway— this is so???? good???? like sjdjsjdj this almost made me cry???? the angst was *chef’s kiss* and legit what I imagine Eli to feel like after the factAND TULIP STOP <3<3<3 PLS I’M IN LOVE" One Year Later

"OMYGOODGODS ITS UP- amazing, fantastic, wonderful, show stopping, breathe taking, never the same- ALSO, I'm very happy my ideas helped so much to build this story :,) I'd love to help more (lemme go see how on earth to turn on co-creation) (EDIT: OKEY I AM NOW CO-CREATEABLE) ANYWAYS SO AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC THAT IT HAS BEEN POSTED DJLHBFVDBVJ" The Arrangement (from @whatsitzface)

"Im begging please release a full story this was my dream!!! You read my mind. I never read a fic this perfect!" The Future, Not a Wish

"Tendría que ser Bow quien descubriera todo de esta forma, solo espero que no esté cerca cuando esas dos tengan un momento más íntimo <3" Melog's Heart (this was my first comment in another language)

"I know absolutely nothing about the show or the characters, but great writing as always Darcy" For a Genius, You Can Be Pretty Stupid (from @whatsitzface)

"The dinner she makes is perfect and I love how you turned the "worrying" trope on it's head. So lovely" Really, Really (from @bacchicly)

"Lovely and sweet. Beautiful work! Merci merci!" At Sunset (from @bacchicly because she is the only one who actually commented on this one and I am grateful)

"BUDDY. This is so sugar." When Paths Cross (from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"Ok, I came back to say, this is a super cute premise and i'm so excited to see what the other two parts are :DI love that in this world profilers who know them both extremely well couldn't figure it tf out because they didn't change how they act around each other." Unintentional Secret (from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"QUEEN OF TOOTH ACHES 👑 "pulled out a little statue of a cat holding a gift box." <--- fucking LOVE it. NOOOOO open the box! "I was expecting her to open the little gift box so she would find the ring box inside" <--- me tooo "She pointed at the little gift box the cat was holding. "Does this open? Did he put anything in it?"" <--- THANKS, JENNA. "Yeah, you were supposed to open it at home." 😂 😂 "No, I'm not proposing to you if you're gonna call me Newbie. Absolutely not." <--Good on you, Luke, stand that sea-saw of a ground. 😆 "I love you," he whispered into her lips." <- Mush. absolute MUSH. Whisper kisses, my weakness. "see you again when I inevitably find the irresistible urge to write Garvez again!" <--- Tomorrow? 😌 😉 Full disclosure I mixed up this and Las Vegas Surprise Wedding and was really confused for a minute." Unintentional Secret (my first essay comment from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails 😌)

"OMFG I JUST LOVE THESE FANFICS OF YOURS!! THAT PART WHERE HE SAID HIS FAV COLOR IS BROWN BC IF GARCIAS EYESSSSSS😭😭😭🤌AND THE PART HE TEXTED DEREJ WAS JUST CHIEF KISSES!!! ISTFG HE'D DO THAAAAT!!" Many Tear-Stained Cheeks

"This is both really sweet and devastating. I loved that he was initially reluctant to call her but knew he needed her and the way she comforted him was perfect 💖 the ending was so lovely and hopefully next time she says it Luke will be awake" Many Tear-Stained Cheeks (from @whitecrossgirl)

"took her hand, placing it back on his heart. "This beating heart? It beats only for you."IM SCREAAAAAMING AND CRYIIIING AT THE SAME TIME!! I NEED TO SEE THIS SCENE LIVE ON TV! THE WRITERS DID US DIRTYYYYY😭😭😭😭" Heartbeat

"SHUT THE FRONT DOOR YOU"LL BE IN MY HEART IS FUCKING PERFECT FOR THEM!!!!! That whole plus one bonus section gutted me like a fish lmao I am literally ill with how much I love this, thank you for writing this!!!!!!!" To Sir, With Love (really all of @dungeons-are-too-cold's comments on this fic)

"Mate it is too early in the morning for this amount of feels 😭😭😭 they are such a fantastic duo and Rossi’s transformation from “The fuck is a team” to “These are all my kids” is my favourite thing about his character" To Sir, With Love (from @whitecrossgirl)

"sobbing. crying. shaking. sliding down a wall and poinding my fist on it. THIS IS SO STUNNING. I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND YOUR WRITING IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. THANK YOU FOR THIS MAJESTIC FIC." To Sir, With Love

"This was great, loved every minute of it, would snort this." Secrets Exposed (from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"Why are you just the beeeeeest?! You angel you." Secrets Exposed (from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"When you go to hit that kudos button and the red bar pops up. RUDE." Secrets Exposed (from, guess who, @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"I know this was a time consuming task and took a lot of work. So thank you for this, it's unique and fun. :)" Secrets Exposed (from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"i'mdonei'mdonei'mdone i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm DONE. wow. just wow. yeah so anyways this is canon now and explains A LOT about jj's faces in the show" Secrets Exposed

"You literally always know what I need in a fic before I even think about it, this is everything!!!!" Partner's Brunch (from @dungeons-are-too-cold)

"U really need to be the main writer of the revival for garvez ✨ my heart is flipping I was lit blushing the whole damn time!!!🥺😍🥰🤭" Two Can Play at This Game

"I really enjoyed this! I can completely see them trying to one up each other like this! (I swear, if the revival does them dirty…)" Two Can Play at This Game (Helsinkibaby on Ao3 left this comment… and they used to post so much amazing stuff, so I totally fangirled upon seeing this. Ao3 Garvezers, I guarantee you've read their stuff.)

"Ok, look, i'm one of those who will not read a pregnancy story, but this: "Well, it's comforting to hear you say that. Because Luke is the father." <---- perfect ending, perfect pacing my friend. And Krystall's voice *chef kiss*" Oh Baby, Oh Baby (from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"Seeing a new story from you makes me happy! Loved the conversation between Penelope and krystal. Looking forward to reading more the last exchange with the was perfect." Oh Baby, Oh Baby

"i almost made a fool of myself while reading this in a mcdonalds" Welcome Home

"#It was a spite request your honor #because they were never friends your honor #certainly not best friends, Adam" (Not) Just a Friend (from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"I am so honored. 😂 I love you I love you I love you. This was excellent. Platonic Morvez! Thank you for playing along with my asinine requests. 💗 💗 💗" Open Ears (from @snailsandpuppy-dogtails)

"I'm sorry I'm writing not having read the fic yet though I've been loving the works you did so far for this pairing but the "sorry it took me more than 24h hours"????? Mate, you've written so many pieces for this otp ate the speed of light what are u talking about??? Take your time, sweetie, do your thing don't feel pressured to do/write/create more than you feel comfortable with, we've been loving it so far just keep doing your thing! Thanks so much for writing for us! Xx" Girls' Night Out (this person thought snails was pressuring me to write and came RUNNING to my defense 😂)

"Oh my days, Luke calling her "Chica" as a term of endearment/pet name was something i wished so much that the writers kept in the show *deep sigh* guess that's one more thing left for the fans/shippers to take over. But i love it tho! 😫❤️" Girls' Night Out

"Luke Alvez's tool kit for keeping Penelope Garcia happy:1. Roxy 2. Allowing her to call him Newbie 3. Ice cream 4. Kevin Lynch's head on a spike (if requested)" Ice Cream and I Love Yous (from @whitecrossgirl)

"omg I'm literally DYING ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!! I'm obsessed with the way you write them, it's so like heartstopper, literally obsessed with the drama" We Fell in Love in October (from @dungeons-are-too-cold)

#These are just the Ao3 ones #Lmk if you want the tumblr ones #Fanfiction #Fanfiction author

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daesungindistress · 2 years

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The character assassination of Daesung has actually been devastating and painful to watch. After yrs of lying low in Korea due to his accident, he was thriving and excelling in the military and seemed to be becoming more visible in his home country. Then it all came crashing down bc of a witch hunt that started bc of the mess SR was involved with. Now people have forever tied the two together (no thanks to SR's vile fans) and he's lost so much again with so many not willing to give him a chance.

Sorry I didn't get to this in a more timely manner. Reading it for the first time hit me pretty hard. The years since have done little to take the edge off. I almost used the term character assassination in a previous ask reply, but decided against it at the last minute, so I appreciate you filling in for me, saying what I for some reason couldn't. The heartbreak of seeing that unfold in real time newer fans will never know. Hopefully they'll never have to because it will never happen again.

They'll never understand what it was like, the last week of July and the first of August, watching in alarm, waiting with dread, bracing for the announcement that Daesung would be pulling a Seungri and exiting BB, either via voluntary withdrawal or forced removal by the company. YG suffered extreme losses that year, a domino effect started by Seungri, followed shortly after by BI departing Ikon and the face of YG Entertainment Yang Hyunsuk resigning from the label he'd founded along with his CEO brother Yang Minsuk. It was a restructuring -- and a reckoning. Big names in showbiz dropping like flies. That Daesung could be the next to fall was a very real possibility at the time. In fact, he was the only YG artist or executive linked to a major controversy in 2019 who did not respond by leaving. (Granted, he wasn't "involved" to the extent the others were, as he was never elevated to suspect status in any investigation.)

I vaguely remember thinking, possibly writing, "Looks like we're not getting that Korean [solo] album now." Not that there were any publicly announced plans for it, only a fragile hope, but Daesung's image had improved by leaps and bounds and the stellar reception to his appearance on Fantastic Duo in late 2017 boded well for his prospects in Korea, especially as it pertained to variety. At least to start, you know? To get going again, to regain some of that momentum he'd built up.

Now, outside of practically nonexistent BIGBANG activities, one successful yet modest comeback with no promotions or public appearances to speak of, he's just a YouTuber. One who never shows his face and pretends to be someone else.

#bigbang #daesung #dlite #ask #anon

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stfuprettypls · 2 months

Text

going digging in my blog is so wild bc my intent is to find a good memory (i religiously wrote on this blog for quite a few years) but then stumble upon the SADDEST fucking post by me and then stumbling on even SADDER fucking post two minutes later

i blocked out so much of the first half of 2017 man i deadass forgot i wanted to die the whole time. it was truly such a perfect storm everything happened at once and felt like the rug was pulled from underneath me. i always forget about that academic quarter because it consisted of me needing to take random ass classes because i had failed out of my major and my new major had zero classes available.

my first breakup EVER happened and the situation around it plagued me for years. like literal years it took me ages to be able to overcome all the insecurities that came from it. this was from a time i thought i was unlovable and ugly, who could love me when i didn't even feel proper love? that relationship only confirmed my worldview that i was always going to be at the bottom of the priority list. that fucked me so bad because i was really hoping i was delusional that whole relationship that he would pull through the for me. that he would CHOOSE me. and he didn't and that was fucking devastating. that is what stung so much about it. i hated myself for the way it ended because it was literally because he couldn't choose me.

my 21st birthday? the literal moment i knew. my birthday after a lovely party he threw me. us on his bed already knowing the end was coming. i literally had made the man want to kill himself because i was so stressful to him. it was broken and we both knew. then we had one last genuine talk about who he was choosing. it wasn't me. it wasn't necessarily her. it was him confirming he couldn't choose. i think i told him to talk to his therapist about it, but i already knew. later that week he calls me crying confirming what i knew. we agreed to last one weekend together and then ending it. it was such a solemn weekend with one final date being at the pigeon lighthouse. we didn't kiss once that weekend. it was so sad.

ugh i havent thought about that break up in literal years. for the first time in 7 years do i feel ache over this and it was by randomly remembering. fuck yeah does the first heartbreak sting. idk if its because im stoned or what......too think im even going through this bc i wanted to revisit the date on my blog when i watched la la land

anyways but also:

finding out my friends also wouldnt choose me. the whole thing with that roommate? FUCK fuck fuck fuck. it was traumatizing to lose a friend so ...... spontaneously. such a strange thing so confusing. and then the screaming a few weeks later? and how they didnt stand up for me. and how she mocked me in front of me to her friends in my own HOME in the bus everywhere she could demean me. all over what? this i haven't forgotten so much.

then the other guy that was such a hot fucking mess who also put me the wringer. again, forgot about the pain i endured with him. not bc of heartbreak just because of the cruelty. such a shitty guy. he was EASY to forget about it was a fucking relief

but i remember the fall of 2017. everything changed in 2017. i wonder if he will ever fully understand how much he means to me and how he came into my life during the time i most needed him. new beginnings and i met him. him who i originally was resistant to. idk if he will ever understand how special he is to me and he is really the first person to love me in a way that is not due to familial duty.

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hiddlemethis · 11 months

Text

i feel really stupid bc an rp ship i've invested a lot of mental energy in over the last year might be falling apart and i'm so devastated about it. like, logically it makes sense for the two characters and i don't want to hold anyone back but i keep looking back at my writing the last year and how inconsistent i've been bc of moving and a bout of depression and thinking about all the dev that happened inside my head that i couldn't get typed out bc i second guessed myself qnd didn't want to jump ahead too far. like fuck, my love of slow burn and realistic emotional arcs really screwed me over. and what sucks is that i've been afraid for months that i was losing this ship bc our rp group was very slow and inactive and also this ship was the first thing that made me feel better and took my mind off losing my dog last january. totally not fair to put that on anybody but it's part of why i'm so emotionally attached and like. the ship kept me going thru the inactivity of the group bc we were doing a lot of aus on the side, but that also hurt bc i think some of the IC problems arose bc i was trying to nuance the portrayal from other aus based on the circumstances and it kinda backfired on me.

also i haven't slept well all week, its 3:30am and i woke up to pee and get water at 1 and havent been able to get back to sleep. but i will feel like such a fuck up if i have to call in to work bc i couldn't sleep over a roleplay ship. no matter how much i tell myself that this is grief and i'm allowed to feel it.

0 notes

mielgf · 1 year

Note

I wanted to share my feelings about a certain someone. I can't tell them right now these things, so I wanted to put it out into the universe through a kind soul like you.

The first time I met this individual we'll call C, he was the most intriguing person I've ever met. At the time then we both got into other relationships and didn't pursue one another. We would see each other occasionally at school and then we graduated, never becoming more than acquaintances.

A few years later my last relationship began to crumple and I often caught myself thinking of C. Eventually I reached out to C and we became friends and realized we had a lot in common. My then relationship ended, and our friendship grew into something special.

One night as we were watching a movie while hanging out, I've now forgotten the name of, we slowly melted into one another on the couch. No words needed to be spoken to know we both felt the same way. Our strange relationship began to grow and as time went by I realized I couldn't stay away from him.

I think I fell in love with him all those years ago when I first saw him and never realized it because my feelings were clouded by others. Now that I get to hold him and kiss and just admire him, I understand it is bad. I am so in love with him. I wish to tell him, but since we just began to develop this odd relationship that isn't yet official I can't be too forward and so I write to you bc I feel I'll explode with all these feelings inside me.

In my last relationship when it ended I can only say I felt free and a relief. I know now I was with the wrong person, and not saying C is the right one. I simply feel I've known him forever and like we've been one this whole time. I think if he broke my heart I'd be utterly devastated even though it's only been a month and some change. And you might be reading this and thinking "wow, they're down bad", but it isn't so simple. He simply is him and I simply adore that.

I hope he'll feel the same way someday in terms of loving me. If not I'd be utterly crushed, but at least I had the divine opportunity to think of him as mine for a little bit.

I think that's all I wanted to say for now. I hope this wasn't an absurd thing to send, I just felt you'd be the right blog to send this to.

I hope you have a swell day, thank you for reading <3

ummm hi what the heck, this was such a surprise message but i'm so happy you felt like you could share this with me <3

this was so so sweet honestly and i'm not sure if you need support or advice or if you just wanted to get this out there to someone, but i will say this: fear is very common when you start caring for someone deeply (i was literally thinking about this tn because of a situation in my own life, this was divine timing when i came on here and seen this message). it is natural to fear that person hurting you or things not going the way you want them to, but until you can get to a point where you can vocalize how you're feeling, there are a million and one ways that you can show somebody you love them. through acts of kindness, through support, or through time spent together, so i wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to "confess" your feelings if you don't feel ready yet. you can still bask in your love and show him that until the time is right for you <3

i truly feel like you often stumble back to people when the time is right. i hope that whatever type of relationship you desire from this comes to fruition when it is meant to. but again, sometimes it's also nice to just come to peace with where you are currently at and let things naturally flourish with time ✨

again thank you for sharing this with me and i am so happy you've found somebody that makes you happy. you definitely have me rooting for you two!!

lots of love, friend xx

#a.#m.

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leossmoonn · 2 years

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Okay I feel like I wanna bring some angst into this. 😏

It's before you found out he's daredevil. It's your 1st anniversary and he comes home too late

You were preparing everything from a nice meal, great wine, put on some romantic music on got all dolled up for the occasion.

Sadly, daredevil couldn't take the night off and you are left at home eating cold dinner alone, reading to pass the time and falling asleep on the couch still on your clothes.

I feel like Matt would be DEVASTATED. And feel so so guilty, wanting to make up for the missed anniversary. The morning after your anniversary is when he tells you about him being daredevil

YES THE ANGST!!! This is like really long lmao.

You have been planning this night for a few days so Matt definitely knew about it. And he was so excited too! And he really tried everything in his power to get home in time and get cleaned up at Foggy’s, but fighting Fisk took a little bit too much time

You weren’t too worried when he was late bc ever since you’ve known him he’s just been a night owl. But you also know he lived up to his promises so you were counting on him being there tonight. And you even took more time than usually in cooking so waiting for him wouldn’t seem too long

But it’s 2 AM, well past the time he should be home, and youre sleep on the couch and you’ve finished two bottles of wine. You’re still in your dress and there are mascara tear-stains on your cheeks.

Matt comes home around 4 AM, literally running into the apartment. He’s hoping to make it up to you although he’s 4+ hours late. He goes over to you, bending down and putting his hand on your face. His heart breaks as he feels the tear stains and he finds the finished bottles of wine and half-eaten bowl of food on your side of the table.

He manages to get you ready for bed without waking you up. He has such a hard time sleeping at night and gets up at 7 am to clean up the kitchen and make you breakfast.

You wake up around 9 with the worst hang over ever. But Matt is right there by your side giving you some medicine and helping you ease into looking into the sunshine and getting up and walking.

He can tell you’re upset by the way you’re completely silent. The only words you’ve said are “thank you” when he held your hair back when you threw up.

And he doesn’t even know what to say. He knows sorry won’t be enough. It was your first year anniversary and you planned everything. He had one job: to show up, and he couldn’t even do that.

“Are the eggs okay?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you mutter. He gives you a small smile but you just look down at your food.

“I tried the food last night. It was great,” he says.

“Thanks,” you say flatly.

Matt awkwardly fixes his glasses as he tries to think of what to say. You finish up your food quickly and pick up your plates and head to the sink.

“U-Uh, let me do the dishes,” he rushed over to you.

“Okay. I’m going to take a shower then work in your office, if that’s okay with you,” you say.

“Yeah, that’s perfectly fine. Um, do you want me to help you with work?” He asks.

“No, thanks,” you say and walk away.

Basically it’s like this the whole day. You’re freezing him out while he rattles his brain to think of how to explain to you why he wasn’t there last night. You honestly feel bad about icing him out. You hate seeing him look so helpless and guilty. He was moping around the apartment, asking you every second if you needed help. You appreciated his concern and you wanted to hug him and make up, but you couldn’t help but ignore him. You’re upset and you both know you have a right to be. It was his turn to initiate the conversation of you two making up this time.

He decided the best thing to do is tell you the truth. So he orders takeout and you two sit at the table, having a very awkward dinner.

“Do you like the salsa?” He asks. “Yeah. It’s good,” you nod, keeping your eyes on your food.

He cant take another minute of his. He takes his glasses off and scoots his chair close to you and takes his hands into yours.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n,” he says, trying his hardest to find your eyes so he can apologize while looking into them.

You look at his sorry hazel eyes. “That’s a start. Now please enlighten me on why you didn’t come home until like, 5 in the morning.”

He sighs, hanging his head low in shame. “I have a secret that I’ve been keeping from you ever since we started dating. Everyday I’ve been discovering it’s getting harder and harder to keep it from you. Last night was just the start of what it could be like if I keep keeping it from you. And I know if it continues like this, I’ll eventually lose you, and that’s something I never want to happen.”

His brows are furrowed, his lips are trembling, and you can see the tears filling up his eyes. You squeeze his hand in support and swallow hard. Your heart is racing a mile a minute as your mind races about all the what ifs.

“I know I shouldn’t be asking you of anything, but promise me you’ll just hear me out after I tell you?”

“A-Alright,” you nod. Your voice is shaky and every second he’s not telling you the truth is taking literal years off your lifespan.

“The reason why Ive always come home so late, I’m covered in scrapes and bruises, and I don’t let you in the dresser in the living room is because well,” he takes a deep breath before telling you. “I-I’m Daredevil.”

At first your reaction is minute. Your heart stops racing and your hands relax in his. Your face very, very slowly contorts into a smile and you start laughing. Matt is so confused but he decided to laugh with you because well, what else is he supposed to do.

“Oh my god!” You gasp for air. “I thought you had a wife and kids or something! Or you were in this weird BDSM group!” You giggle.

He stops laughing and is very confused. “So you’re not mad I’m Daredevil?”

“Well, I’m mad you didn’t tell me sooner and I’m mad you missed dinner, but no I’m not mad that you’re Daredevil. But I do have some worries.”

“I know you’re still mad about it last night. You can be mad at me for that forever. I know what I did was horrible and although I was out fighting, I should still have managed my time more and gotten to dinner in time. I’m so sorry about that. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“You better,” you say. “Can i um.. ask you some questions about Daredevil?“

“Of course.”

“Alright. And can I help you clean up your wounds and stuff?”

“They’re kind of gross, Y/n.”

“So? What do I look like? A wuss?”

He chuckles, “You don’t seem like one, no.”

You two spend the rest of the night talking about Daredevil and more about his childhood and know you literally know everything about him.

Also he stayed up the whole night re-doing your one year anniversary. He went out with Karen and Foggy bought fairy lights and flowers and hung them all over the kitchen and living room. And he had Karen help him make your favorite dish and he dressed up in a suit and tie and surprised you in the morning. Omg and he got you 2 extra gifts since you deserve everything and it was all very sweet. Safe to say you forgave him

#matt concepts #sorry this is so long! lol #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader

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