#and i was BAD but not like rn

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[batlove]

i'm going actually insane like this is not normal at all

#im more and more mentally ill and i can't do anything about it #i do the things i know i should do and i do the things i know help #but those are things that helped me when i was 17 #and i was BAD but not like rn #i need to go to a psychiatrist and idk i'd try medication again #but i cant do that i cant afford it #i'm so tired of not trusting my perception of things i used to only be like that when somwthing was actually happening to me #when someone was doing something #but now it's everything #it's about what i see what i hear i start going on spirals about stupid shit #and once i think about something it's done i'll be thinking about it from then on and i'll have to do the things that allow me to believe #that i'm not psychotic and what i'm seeing isn't a delusion or hallucination #i can't even think more than two seconds about the possibility of being psychotic without going into a panic about everything i've done in #the last days #it's exhausting

[beybuniki]

gym buddies

#love that she gets to have close combat fights well what if they worked out together!! deku is also there but im wokring on that bad rn #bnha #bakugo katsuki #uraraka ochako #kacchako #for the people who care #honestly this isnt even romantic i like that ship but this is just them going beast mode together

[puppyeared]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

#i think i had a little too much fun with this lol #i also wanted to draw road boy and other characters but maybe when they actually get introduced #i do have a sketch of him with a lil chainsaw.. im not gonna be normal when he gets introduced man he looks so sillygoofy #if you squint laika's eye marking is a clover yue's is a crescent moon and mars' is a star ^_^ #i wanted to give laika an accessory too but i couldnt think of anything.. maybe a stack of pancakes?? #im curious to see the apocalypse side of the story too.. like so far we have an idea of the comet fucking everything up #and im assuming that lead to a ripple effect causing the apocalypse but exactly how bad?? i cant wait to find out #rn im kinda piecing stuff together.. larkspur delivers mail in a beat up van so that might mean all transportation is grounded #the buildings we've seen so far are intact like the observatory and turnip's house but idk if thats the same for big cities #laikas playlist only includes songs downloaded on yue's computer and there hasnt been internet in 20 years.. but radio signals might #still work.. if yue grows his own food we can assume that mass production and distribution also isnt a thing anymore #sorry im a sucker for worldbuilding.. and the furth puns are fun to me. i like to think toronto would be clawronto.. and vancouver wld #be nyancouver.. barktic circle.. mewfoundland and labrador.. canyada.... #christ i have so many drawing ideas. willow if youre reading this im so sorry youre probably gonna expect to see a lot of drawings frm me #like. i wanna draw laika in the akira bike pose so sosososo bad. IT WOULD BE SO AWESOMECOOL. ill teach myself to draw bikes if i have to #i also wanted to animate laika leekspin.. man #my art #myart #fanart #laika's comet #laikas comet #laika #mars #yue #furry art #fur #littlest pet shop #lps

[rapidhighway]

sanic ✌ for the au perhaps? idk

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fanart #art #digital art #sonic #sth #fanart #ive been getting easily distracted from my aus recently which is horrible #but i guess im just too ambitious all the time and get scared -_- #idk ive been feeling really bad about drawing lately i just dont really feel good about any of my drawings rn #like i like this one but idk i just dont feel excited about it... #idk what to do abt it #id like to get into one of my aus for once #but i just feel nothing rn.. #OK WAHTEVERRR this was a cool pose #so i gave him so shoes to go with it

[pink-andwhite]

ethan landry mocking you >>>

"oh it's too big baby? that's so cute." then proceeds to fuck you harder, making sure to shove that extra inch in there each thrust.

"too much? oh you poor thing.." wraps his hand around your throat and fucks you faster, definitely rubs your clit too.

"you're all done sweetie? that's too bad, im just getting started." proceeds to fuck you through 4 more orgasms.

#these are thot hours #help im not in the mood to write a fic but like i cant help but let a little blurb out #im thirsting over him so bad rn #its not even funny #ethan laundry 4 life #ethan landry is my new obsession thank you #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry smut #ethan landry #scream vi smut #scream dialogue

[yourlocalabomination]

The darkness will spare my soul.

#PLEASE LOOK AT THE RUFFLES #PLEASE APPRECHIATE HOW LONG I SPENT ON THEM #actually please apprechiate all of this because I spent like 3/4 weeks on this bad boy #this piece reminded me why I’m lazy with most of my art because when I actually do detail properly it takes forever #also- idk how to do lighting I’m learning rn do don’t try and deep it too hard ok #anyway I’m out here shoving religious symbolism into my artwork oh look how original #I think grace would be dismayed at the fact this took 6 9 hours- a holy number #grace chasity #grace chastity npmd #grace chastity fanart #npmd #npmd starkid #starkid npmd #npmd fanart #nerdy prudes must die #starkid nerdy prudes must die #nerdy prudes must die fanart #starkid #starkid fanart #fanart starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield universe #fanart #my art

[ink--theory]

rooting for all 10 ppl on team fame and hope they take one of the categories <3

#I only fought them like once today and I only got like 4 ppl who chose it compared to love's 19 and money's 11 #i don't think it's team bigfoot bad but still lmao #splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatfest #team fame #frye onaga #frye splatoon #my art shit #i'm only capable of drawing shitposts rn so have this

[faygos]

march eridoodle ♒️

#this is all i got in me rn #but i wanted to contribute so bad #eridan ampora #march eridan #whomstve #classic homestuck #homestuck #i had a dream i was playing harvest moon ds like a week ago #and i dug out my ds and its been all i want to do ever since #art? nah #gotta farm these strawberries

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from: #15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50% #like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water'' #which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong..... #182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week. #ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS. #men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health. #this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become. #like they don't try to hide it anymore.

[tomatoart]

Seeing double on my 2000s girl

#originally I was gonna make them both scene but I wanted to draw og ashley w her usual swag since both are so dear to me #ashley graham #resident evil 4 #resident evil 4 remake #re4og #resident evil fanart #not a fan of the face on the right it doesn’t rlly look like how I usually draw her and I can’t figure out why but my hands suddenly #got rlly bad again after a whole year and I cant grip the pen rn to fix it more b4 posting but she’s still so adorable #my sweet sweet everything she’s sooooo special. top 10 gooby woobies

[ohno-the-sun]

Sol

#I’m just gonna put these here so I can rant about all the issues I see in the #so like I as an idiot was like let’s see if I can do a style study on qwille using my favorite boy right #but qwille a brain works in mysterious ways cause like I’m trying to hard to firgure out how they know where to put stuff #and of course the rendering is like that in between fully rendered and that more soft vague #which is gorge #but my brain when I do it is like you need to fix you need to fix this looks bad you suck blahblah #not to even mention the anatomy #which is completely fucked here #I can’t do shoulders to save my life #and he looks so dumb sitting on that box #like what’s wrong with his shoe #I know something’s wrong #I think I need to take a moment #I’m caught in one of those logic loops rn #blahhhhhh

[silverraes]

coming to your ✨website✨ of choice soon

#someone should take photoshop away from me ajsdgsa #listen this watched like a bad p*rn intro i just had to- #wandee goodday #wandee goodday the series #wandeegooddayedit #my gifs #mygifs #thai bl #bl series #rae tries to gif shit

[birues]

Know our places, for worth is wordless

Evanescent, this writing on the wall

#final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #emet selch #emet-selch #endwalker #shadowbringers #ffxiv endwalker #ffxiv shadowbringers #endwalker spoilers #shadowbringers spoilers #everyone come look at the old man being a complete clown #*says this through the tears btw* #anyways #I've already made a post about this but #this parallel gets me sooo bad #you know when amon is like #'i wonder how emet selch is feeling rn remembering those lost days' #yeah 👍 #and to the edge lyrics bc i listened to it while making this

[yuwuta]

"there could be two beds and they will still only one bed trope their way into your heart somehow" exactly! gojo doesn't know what personal space means at aaaaaaall

satoru wouldn’t know the definition of personal space if it smacked him in the forehead, he needs to be close all the time always. 

the “actually, there are two beds” trope with him is so funny esp in a f2l setting because for every night of your trip, he finds some excuse to be in your bed instead of his. actually, he would give up rooming by himself on a group trip if it meant he got to share a room with you, because he’d find a way to share a bed with you. 

the first night, he dumps his entire suitcase on his bed, then showers, and you’re asleep by the time he comes back. and now he’s clean and moisturized and he wants to go to bed and oh no! all his stuff is still on his bed! guess he’ll have to share with you for tonight 😇 

the second and third nights he fakes having a nightmare to crawl into your embrace, and then feeling sick so you’ll coddle him to sleep. 

the fourth night, he showers first and falls asleep on your bed instead of his. you’re the respectful one who takes his bed instead, but ofc he wakes up once you’ve fallen asleep to slide in next to you, and when you groggy and confused he just hushes you back to sleep with a cheeky, “you were in my bed, don’t worry about it.” 

the fifth night, he turns the AC all the way up and says you “looked cold” so he “came to cuddle you” while you were asleep. 

he could find an excuse for every single night as long as you share a room together, but the moment you invite him in, ask him, “satoru, do you wanna share?” his brain short circuits and his face goes all red and you offering does bad bad bad things to him and now he actually has to sleep in his own bed because this is gonna keep him up all night

#anonymous #talks such a big talk but he's just a LOSERBOY !!! AT THE END OF THE DAY!!!! #the second u fall asleep on him first or u offer ur bed to him hes all oh i huh um aft://////$2@@@@@. loser #want his pathetic ass so bad rn ngl.....god i love a loser #this is also yuuji except i think yuuji is more tries to entice you to sleep in his bed #like he offers to keep you warm/cuddle you if youre not sleeping well/offers himself as a pillow if the hotel pillows are thin #acts all innocent but he just wants u next to him. he's not better than satoru he's still the first secretary of not being shit #gojo x reader