#and i held up my end of the convo w this lady that I often struggle to talk to while we were waiting for the bus together !! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

menalez · 4 years

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ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server).

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr.

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server.

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia:

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic.

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present

“straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic.

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady):

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently.

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person.

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’.

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently?

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar.

#whitefem racism #long post #liberal lesbophobia #hetfems #hetfem server #probablyaterf #black-diaspora #girlfrommars #radfemkitten

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gifsbysimplysonia · 5 years

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Tell me about something crazy that happened to you

If you don’t want to read THE LONGEST TEXT ENTRY OF YOUR LIFE, do NOT click on the cut!

THE RAVE - MILWAUKEE - BAMBOOZLE 2010 - JUNE 11, 2010

Mmkay, so the day after my birthday, I headed up to The Rave Milwaukee to see Good Charlotte at the Bamboozle Roadshow Festival, and it was my first time seeing them since October 2006, when I’d last seen them also at the Rave in Milwaukee :P

Not even 3 minutes after arriving, I randomly ran into Tezzie my Fangirl Soulmate (one of the first friends I made on Livejournal back in the 00s; she was visiting all the way from Sweden and was a member a group of the most dedicated fans I had ever witnessed). I was trying to call the # she had given me and was leaving a voicemail as I began walking around the building, along the MASSIVE line that was already formed, full of TEENS and PRE-TEENS. And as I walked and talked…suddenly before me appeared a tiny ginger pixie :) We hugged, we smiled, and that was that. The very dedicated group was in attendance (though I believe there were more members): Krisse (Tezzie’s wifey), Tez, Ashley, Isabel & Jasmine. Tez was with her friend Ashley and they were going to Ashley’s car for something. I went with them and they were filling me in on everything. They and their friends had gotten to the venue at SEVEN IN THE MORNING and had been there the whole time (I think it was after noon by the time I arrived)!!! They were nice enough to let me in line with them.

When we first got in, we all rushed to the GC merch table. They were running this promotion where if you are 1 of the first 6 to go to the table and say “I wanna rep GC!” you get to go to the meet n greet. Being that Milwaukee was Krisse & Tezzie’s first show of the tour, they were going to try for it as the other girls had already got to go to a meet ‘n greet at a previous show. And wouldn’t ya know, they got THE LAST 2 PASSES??? How’s that for luck? The merch dude told me I could try going with them and telling them it was my bday because he’d seen them “let people in,” so why not give it a try? I thanked him for the tip and decided that’s what I’d do.

Meet n greet time rolled around at about 3 and I was SO READY to have to lay down this big sob story and BEG for them to let me into the meet ‘n greet. But when it came time, the lady from the Buzznet table told the lady in charge of the meet ‘n greet that it was my bday and I wanted to know if I could come in, and the lady just shrugged and said, “Sure, why not?” LMAO! As usual, I stressed for hours FOR NOTHING!We went up about 7 flights of stairs, no sh*t, to get to the very top of the venue. And once there, we waited a while for the band to show up. I took some video of Tez & Krisse, wanting to document their nervousness. They were very cute. Tez hadn’t seen the band in 2 years; 2 years and 2 months. Krisse hadn’t seen them in a year and 11 months. They were both SO NERVOUS. The guys finally showed up, late, but it was all of them. Being used to a7x and only getting 3 of 5 members of the band, I was really surprised! But there all 5 of them were :) The big bald security guy wanted it to be very organized so he immediately lined us all up and told us to have cameras ready, 1 thing to sign, and began pushing people through right away.Somehow, I ended up in line first, meaning before K & T. The lady who let me in took my camera from me and then I was going up to the guys, my ticket in hand for them to sign!

I was determined to be well mannered so I made sure to introduce myself to each member & shake everyone’s hand. First up was Paul. He told me I had a lovely name *blush* God bless him, he’s super cute. I was going to ask for a hug because “Paul hugs” are supposedly the best ever BUT the dude was MAD sweaty O_o I had no idea from what, so I didn’t ask. Deano was next and he gave a nice firm shake. I told the two of them it was my birthday and they replied with huge smiles and “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” like it was the best news ever. Totally adorable. Then Deano told me I’d like the new song they are playing and asked me if I’d heard it yet. I told him no and he told me it was called “Like It’s Her Birthday” so I should like it :) Then … there was Joel. Sigh. So funny to think JUST a few years before, I was totally gaga for the dude. I shook his hand, he stood there and for a second? I couldn’t figure out what he was staring at cuz it wasn’t my face, but I realized he was checking out my Vengeance University switchblade pendant :P Benji was next to him. I THINK I shook his hand and intro'ed myself but I’m NOT sure. What I remember about being in front of the Twins was explaining that I hadn’t seen them in 4 years so I was SUPER excited about seeing them live again, to which Benji replies, “I hope we’re not a let down.” O_o As I learned later that day, this kid is a total “Sour Patch Kid.” LOLI said, “Why would you say that?” He just kinda shrugged. So I told him, “You guys never let me down.” Joel liked that because he nodded and went, “Yeaaaaaah,” then held his right fist up for me to pound, so I did :P Then I quickly introduced myself to Billy and shook his hand. He said his name to me, as if I wouldn’t know it, bless him. And then I was being prompted to pose for my photo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LATER THAT EVENING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the show, behind the venue at the back door, we ended up all standing there with Benji, and he was just talking for QUITE a while. That’s never happened to me before. The longest convo I’ve had with someone famous lasted about … 3 minutes? And all I did was argue with the poor guy. But the girls talked to him for longer than that. They continued to talk to Benji, and understand Ashley, Jasmine & Isa had already been to a BUNCH of Bamboozle shows and they plus Tez & Krisse (and more friends they were meeting up w/at different shows) were going to quite a few more! They became known as “Team Good Charlotte,” that’s how used to seeing them people on Bamboozle got! Anyways, they began talking about how excited they were for CARDIOLOGY to hit in September and Benji was talking about how excited he was for us to HEAR the new album.And I wish I could tell you HOW the transition happened, but I honestly don’t know. All I know is one minute they were all talking about the album … and the next, Benji was talking about letting us hear some. I remember saying something like, “You can go on the bus and crack open a window while you play it,” before SCOLDING HIM about saying that’s what he’d do last time I saw them with regards to “The River” but then NEVER DOING IT :P He said he was sorry.But instead of going THAT route, Benji had a talk with this guy whose name is Danny (I think). The girls told me that he kept up GoodCharlotte.com and ran the GC Twitter account; he was also at the meet n greet taking video and photos. Anyways, he showed up and he and Benji talked, and next thing we knew?

WE WERE INVITED ONTO THE BUS TO HEAR A TRACK OFF OF THE UPCOMING GOOD CHARLOTTE ALBUM!

I know. I wouldn’t believe me if I were you either, but it’s absolutely what happened. Benji & Danny made it clear NO cell phones or cameras could go with us, though, so we all crossed the street so the girls could put their stuff away. I was waiting for my ride so I couldn’t put anything away so I just put mine in my bag. We went back across the street but instead of going onto GC’s bus, we were let onto “Danny’s bus.” He actually said “I’m such a diva, I get my own bus.” And as the last on board, even AFTER Danny, I got to close the bus door behind us and IT WAS HEAVY. I had given my bag to him and he had just placed it on the front passenger seat which I sat down on because I didn’t want to have to squeeze my fat a$$ past him AND past Benji & the girls who were all already seated on two couches and the “aisle” was so small, I didn’t wanna do it. But Danny looked at me and said, “You can come in. Come on, you can sit there,” and he pointed at a bench next to one of the couches, so I said, “Oh thanks” and proceeded to squeeze my fat a$$ past everyone, probably murdering everyone’s feet as I did.Anyways, I sat down in a solo seat. Across from me on the couch were Krisse, Tezzie & Benji. Next to me on a couch were Isa, Ashley, and Jasmine. Danny was standing in the driver area with a camera pointed at us THE ENTIRE TIME so we knew that it was all on video! He asked Benji what he was doing and Benji told the camera that he was letting us hear some tracks off of the new album.Benji played us the “intro,” cause GC always has an intro on their albums and then he played us the first track which I believe is called “Let the Music Play.” As a joke, I took a box of Kleenex that was on the window behind me and let the girls all take one because they SWORE they were going to cry. But y'know what? They actually did, bless them. At one point, Tezzie buried her head in Krisse’s chest as Krisse hugged her very tightly and I realized just how sacred this moment & experience was for those girls. And honestly? I felt so out of place. I felt like I was intruding, y'know? I just happened to be with the right people at the right time and get to tag-a-long for this episode and I am TRULY GRATEFUL for it.I bowed my head to listen to the song, and as I listened to the lyrics, tears rose in my eyes. Because once again, as SO OFTEN IS THE CASE with Good Charlotte lyrics, they hit me in my heart. In June of 2010, I’d gone through a LOT of crap in my personal life, and I just have felt so inferior and so bad about myself. Well, this song that Benji was playing us? It was talking about those feelings, letting me know AGAIN that I wasn’t alone in how I felt (which is what Good Charlotte’s music has ALWAYS done for me and it continues to do to this day):

“When the world tries to beat you down, let the music play.”

And THAT lyric just … hit home for me. So I got teary eyed, but the tears never fell for me. When the song was over, though, I had one of those moments where I actually was so overwhelmed with emotion, I HAD to say what was in my heart, which only ever happened with Eddy Guerrero.“Can I tell you something?” I asked Benji as he started scrolling for another song to play us, or maybe to shut off his iPod.“What?” he asked without looking at me.“I call Good Charlotte my 'gateway band’ because you guys led me to so much, musically. But it ALWAYS comes back to you because, lyrically, no other band GETS ME like you guys do, and that song right there? Just reminded me of that.”“Amen,” Ashley said, and I laughed to myself. I don’t remember if Benji had a reaction or not because I realized that Danny still had his camera pointed at us and I wondered about what I’d just said and if it’d end up anywhere.Benji then played us some of the track that GC is playing at the Bamboozle shows called “Like It’s Her Birthday.” The girls ALL ALREADY KNEW ALL THE LYRICS and were singing along :) I had just heard the song for the first time a couple hours before so I just sat there, bobbing my head like a jacka$$.

But someone knocked on the bus door & Benji and Danny had to get going so we didn’t get through that whole track. As we all got up to disembark, I imagine everyone was as overwhelmed and feeling surreal as I was. We got outside and thanked Benji SO VERY MUCH for allowing us to be a part of that. Outside there were a couple of girls leaning against a tree, very obviously wanting to go up to Benji but for some reason, not doing so? And they were giving us the Evil Eye BIG TIME! Funny thing is, I recognized them from A7X shows.Danny took testimonials from the girls on his camera about what we all just heard. And he told us that he would upload the video THAT NIGHT if that was ok. None of us argued. I don’t think he ever did upload anything, BUT, to all of our surprise, the quickest clip ever of us on the bus that night ended up in a Good Charlotte music video for Counting the Days:

I am FOREVER GRATEFUL to have PROOF that this totally insane thing happened to me. And it only happened cuz I was hanging out with the right people, but they were nice enough to let me 6th wheel it with them and it was one of the best birthdays/memories and craziest experiences of my life.

Sometimes I think I live a really small life but then I remember stuff like this and I’m like, “How many people can say that they got to chat with a member of their favorite band, were invited onto a bus to preview brand new music NO OTHER FANS had heard at the moment, AND ended up in one of the band’s music videos??”

I mean, maybe that’s a really big pool and I don’t know it, but I’m just grateful I can be included in it. And in addition to getting to attend a meet n greet I was NOT scheduled to go to and meet the band I refer to as “my heart band,” this day FOR SURE was one of the craziest of my life :)

#personal #get to know me #Good Charlotte #anonymouse

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