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kbstories · 4 years

Text

impression//expression

"It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone."

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Post-Kamino Arc, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Kiri Has A Dog Because I Said So

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Content warning for anxiety attacks and discussions thereof. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

Kirishima comes to sunlight shining on his face and an armful of Bakugou.

It’s not a sudden jolt of consciousness that alerts him of this. His brain comes online one synapse at a time with how all-around cozy he is, bundled up in comfortably warm covers with Bakugou’s head nestled in the crook of his neck, his arm wrapped loosely around Kirishima’s waist. In actuality, Kirishima slept so well it’s legitimately hard to get himself to wake up beyond lazily squinting an eye against that bright glare.

Which is why his first move is to pull the blanket up higher and snuggle closer to his Bakugou-shaped pillow. Bakugou, for his part, breathes something between a mumble and a sigh and slumbers on.

Out like a light. He’s onto something there, Kirishima muses. For a while, he lets himself drift to the calm two-step beat of Bakugou’s heart keeping time against his chest, the gentle tickle of Bakugou’s hair under his chin. Blissful oblivion nips at the edges of his mind; his body can’t quite get there, though, that pesky bit of awareness clinging to existence despite his best efforts.

Urgh, fine.

Kirishima blinks with a little more purpose behind it. His vision is blurred from overall drowsiness and the murky half-dark the blanket provides. Bakugou is easy to make out regardless, face slack and close enough Kirishima can see the minute shift of blonde lashes as he snoozes. It’s the residue redness around his eyes that nudges Kirishima’s brain to wonder and think and remember–

Blue fire. Unread texts. The hospital, Kamino Ward, All Might. Bakugou.

All at once, the sight of Bakugou passed out in his arms is anything but a peaceful one. It’s intimate in a way Kirishima suddenly feels uncomfortable with, not because he doesn’t like it – in his educated opinion, any day starting with cuddling is good by default – but because Bakugou is the least touch-y person he knows and this is crossing so many lines. All the lines.

Lines drawn by unspoken rules and implicit understandings Kirishima learned by sheer trial and error. All those other times Bakugou let his guard down around him seem like peanuts compared to this.

But… Bakugou is resting. Catching up on untold amounts of missed sleep, looking far more relaxed than Kirishima could’ve hoped for. Perhaps it would’ve been better to ensure he makes it to his own bed instead of sharing the pull-out couch; perhaps Kirishima shouldn’t have pushed when things are so fresh. Kirishima’s hands ache to move from between Bakugou’s shoulders yet letting him go feels wrong, too.

It was far too easy, last time. To sit there and bicker in class while Bakugou faded from view, mere miles away.

The dread roiling within him is familiar, as are the maybes and what-ifs that accompany it. It returns like an old friend, the thought of losing him to people who mistake his violence for villainy, who disregard the good shining at Bakugou’s very core in favor of the hurt his hands can cause. The brightest star in the sky, burning, desperate to be seen, to be acknowledged.

It makes Kirishima restless, this feeling – like the air is growing thin and the ground is about to collapse beneath their feet, and it’s up to Kirishima to get them out of there. His blood thrums with the need to fight tooth and nail to keep whatever is causing it away, to shield Bakugou until the shaking stops and the debris settles.

Kirishima has failed Bakugou once already. Not again, never again–

“Think any harder an’ your brain’s gonna melt.”

Kirishima’s heart nearly stops, then jumps into overdrive. A hesitant glance proves that, yup, that’s Bakugou stirring, right there. Bleary-eyed and still far too soft around the edges but awake. Kirishima isn’t ready for this.

He’s also dead. Super dead. Buried-so-deep-nobody-will-ever-find-his-body dead.

He swallows, any sort of greeting escaping his mind except a quiet, “Oh.”

Bakugou yawns and rubs at his eye, a gesture made clumsy with sleepiness. “Mm?” He props himself up, a hand laid flat on Kirishima’s chest. “Calm down, will ya? Your heart’s goin’ like crazy.”

There are no words to describe how impossible that is right now. “Um”, Kirishima says intelligently, and: “Sorry.” A little sheepish, since he can’t exactly help what his heart does (or his brain, for that matter).

He is on the verge of panicking, Kirishima notes dimly. That realization alone does little to chase away the half-formulated doubts threatening to choke him, that inkling of fear that’s on the brink of spiraling out of control. A moment later, he has to consciously unclench his hardened hands from the back of Bakugou’s shirt, which–

Ah. That’s what woke him up.

“Shit. S-sorry, I–”

There’s a frown on Bakugou’s face as he sits up. “Nothing’s goin’ on”, he tells him, calm where Kirishima can’t be. “’s just my room.” Just as deliberate, the covers are pushed aside to allow cool air to flow into their private niche of the world. Everything’s so bright, so–

“Kiri? Hey. Give me your hands.”

It takes considerable effort to focus on Bakugou’s voice. “Whuh?”

“Your hands. Like this.”

Bakugou holds out his own, palm-up. Kirishima does the same, staring blankly at his trembling, rock-hewn fingers. When Bakugou holds his palm, it’s with a touch Kirishima can barely feel. “Focus on this”, a low murmur followed by pressure to the meat of Kirishima’s thumb, faint despite the bones in Bakugou’s wrist showing from the effort. Bakugou slides it upwards and to the webbing connecting to his index, marginally more giving.

“You’re okay. Just breathe. Focus, right here.”

The touch shifts again, down to his wrist. Kirishima lets him do whatever, watching with a detached sort of fascination as his quirk relents. Bakugou’s thumb brushes over the spot where Kirishima’s veins are becoming visible again, the skin there thin and delicate. He digs in, an inch or two from his hand.

It’s a little rougher than before. Not unpleasant, just unexpected, and Kirishima’s fingers twitch. Bakugou’s lips press together. He does it again, notably gentler. “You with me?”

Kirishima hums. The question registers a moment later and he nods for good measure. “Yeah, I– It helps. This.”

“Mh.” Bakugou gestures for his other arm; he starts from his wrist and goes up to his hand this time, eyes on what he’s doing. “Pressure points are useful shit. You got one here”, a pinch to that spot between thumb and index, “and here”, a tap to his wrist. “Works best if it’s someone else doing it but you can, too.”

That sounds vaguely familiar. Perhaps something that came up the last time he googled it? Panic attacks used to be much more of an thing for Kirishima – before he hair-dyed and bench-pressed Red Riot into something more real, more than a distant daydream. More than a scared kid with shitty self-esteem.

(Life’s been manageable, since. Chaotic and distressing in a host of other ways as it swings back and forth between joy and disaster like fate’s cruelest pendulum and actually, it might be a bit of a miracle it took this long for his anxiety to make a comeback.)

Memorizing any new info is beyond Kirishima right now; he strong-arms his braincells to hold onto the term ‘pressure point’, at least. And if Bakugou is sharing, Kirishima figures it’s only fair to share back.

“The one I know is like, deep breathing? And, um. Talking through it. Counting things you can sense. What you see, hear, smell, and so on. It’s just…”

“Hard to do that by yourself, yeah.”

By this point, Bakugou is just brushing his thumb along the lines on Kirishima’s palm and that feels really nice, too. The image of his hands clawing up worn fabric is hard to shake off, though, making Kirishima’s stomach churn with guilt.

“Sorry, man. For waking you up, I mean. And freaking out on you. I didn’t hurt you, right? You’d tell me if I hurt you.”

It’s meant to come out with confidence, because Kirishima trusts Bakugou. It’s trusting himself that's the problem, sometimes.

A groan, long-suffering. “How many times…” Bakugou gives him a look caught between annoyance and fondness. “Kiri. First off, after yesterday, I have no fucking room to complain when it comes to– That. It happens, it sucks, it’s fine. It’s not your fault or whatever. Secondly–”

Kirishima almost chuckles at how pointed that one word is. He shelves the comment on his tongue for after the Bakugou Lecture he’s being treated to.

“I fell asleep on you. Which, my bad but also fuck you, I was tired and some fucking sap wanted to talk feelings at screw-this-AM. There’re no… scratches or anything, and you make an okay pillow for being a literal rock. So, we’re even.”

Kirishima does laugh at that. “I’m not a rock! Get your facts straight, bro.”

“And thirdly”, Bakugou continues with a smirk, “I just turned your hands into bombs, you dumb fucking rock. Either you let me spark it off you or I’m kicking you out to wash it off before that shit goes boom.”

“Spark off?” Head tilting, Kirishima looks at his hands. He doesn’t see anything but if Bakugou says there’s nitro, there’s definitely nitro. “Wait, is that what you do when you…?”

The gesture Bakugou does to let rapid-fire explosions flicker in his palms is easily copied, Kirishima has seen him do it countless times. The other rolls his eyes.

“Yeah. I got tired of getting it all over the place and wearing gloves twenty-four-seven is uncomfortable as fuck, I tried. Plus, burning shit is fun.”

Huh. Kirishima holds out his hands once more, a swift grin on his lips. “Sounds cool. One sparking off, please!”

Bakugou slaps them away immediately. “Use your quirk, dipshit. Or d’you actually wanna get ‘em blown to pieces?”

“Oh. Right.”

Everything under Kirishima’s elbow hardens in an instant. This time, Bakugou huffs under his breath and takes them between his palms. “Here goes.”

A flash, the familiar crackle of firecracker explosions – Kirishima braced himself for it to hurt a little despite Bakugou’s insane control over his quirk, and he does feel it. It tickles, mostly, the sensation of tiny bursts of heat rolling from his fingertips to his wrist a strangely soothing one.

Bakugou looks over his hands when he’s done, the tightness between his brows easing. Then he glances up to Kirishima’s face and sees the smile that’s broad enough to make his cheeks ache. The frown comes back tenfold.

“No.”

“Dude, yes. Do that again.”

“Nope. Fuck you, Shitty Hair, no.”

“You said it’s fun two seconds ago! Checkmate, I win.”

“Kirishima.”

Kirishima snickers until Bakugou’s palm presses against his cheek. It’s basically second nature to harden in time for the explosion to go by harmlessly and oh, this is so going to become a thing.

“It’s a thing now”, he informs Bakugou. “Can it be like our handshake? We totally need a handshake. What kind of besties are we withou–” A gasp. “Oh, oh, we can do the thing after training, too! I won’t even need to wash my hands. It’s fun and useful.”

Bakugou’s face twists. “What the hell? That’s fucking disgusting.” In one fluid movement, he’s out of their blanket nest and stomping off the couch. It would be intimidating… if not for his wrinkled shirt and sleep-mussed hair making it kind of adorable, instead.

“I’m done talking to you.”

“Aww, bro!”

Kirishima crawls half-way over the armrest only to catch a throw pillow – hah! – to the face. Another thud follows, turning out to be Kirishima’s phone tossed from across the room.

“Even mooched off my charger, ugh. You got a million missed messages. Take care of ‘em before your moms call the cops, bro.”

Bakugou's tone is practically drenched in sarcasm but Kirishima doesn’t care, he beams. Bakugou called him his bro and there’re simply no take-backs allowed on a declaration like that.

💪🏻 Kirishima Power 💪🏻

Mama K: Honey, are you awake yet? (received 10:10)

Mama K: Your mom and I are ready to come pick you up whenever. (received 11:20)

Mom: also let us know when we can start hunting your teachers for sport (received 11:22)

Mama K: No murder until our son is back, dear. (received 11:22)

Mom: mhmm sure (received 11:23)

aaaa morning!! (sent 11:38)

oh shit it’s almost noon hhhh (sent 11:38)

Mom: language kiddo (received 11:38)

oh crap** sry (sent 11:38)

Mama K: Welcome back! ❤️ (received 11:39)

hey mama ❤️ (sent 11:39)

ok so picking up is good!! we’re eating breakfast rn (sent 11:42)

well more like lunch 🙈 (sent 11:42)

Mama K: Okay! Now or later? (received 11:43)

ah, mitsuki is saying you two should swing by for tea so maybe in an hour? (sent 11:47)

and that the teachers are actually coming here?? later?? idk why tho (sent 11:48)

aside from, y’know (sent 11:48)

Mama K: Yeah 🙁 (received 11:50)

Mom: how’s katsuki holding up? (received 11:50)

umm ok. kinda. he looks tired as heck tbh and i’m not sure how happy he is about the teacher thing (sent 11:55)

it’s all a bit oof (sent 11:56)

Mom: hmm. anything we can do to help? (received 12:01)

def give him his space (sent 12:03)

and maybe don’t kill aizawa @Mom looking at u haha (sent 12:03)

Mom: bummer (received 12:06)

actually… one more thing? 👀 (sent 12:10)

Mama K: You want us to bring the big guns, huh? (received 12:12)

After the hellos and introductions and obligatory fussing over Kirishima – Mama gives him her usual forehead kiss, expertly avoiding his freshly-spiked hair, while Mom wraps him in her patented rib-pulverizing hug – the parents go inside, leaving Bakugou and Kirishima in the yard with…

“Riot.”

Kirishima grins and nods. He heaves the hundred pounds of tail-wagging excitement into a more comfortable position against his chest, big paws coming to rest on his shoulders. “Yeah! Isn’t he the cutest?”

“Your dog is called Riot.”

“Yup!”

Bakugou openly stares at Riot’s drooling smile. After a painfully long pause, he goes: “Okay.”

If all it took to make Bakugou speechless was an Akita with an unexpected (?) name, Kirishima would’ve introduced him to Riot ages ago. As it is, it’s taking all his willpower not to crack up at Bakugou’s expression. It’s like watching one of those ancient Windows computers suffer a system crash so severe even the task manager stops functioning.

Arms full of dog, Kirishima nudges him with his elbow. Reboot initialized. “But?”

Bakugou shakes himself a little. He gestures to Riot, or perhaps to Kirishima, or both? It’s hard to tell. “But… just, like… Why?”

Priceless. Kirishima silently vows to cherish this rarest of blessings in his memories for eternity. It won’t do to rescue Bakugou only to give him an aneurism the very next day. Setting Riot down, Kirishima pats orange-white hair off his borrowed clothes. The Akita immediately trots over to Bakugou to say hi.

“I got Riot when I was really small, like six-ish? Seven? Something like that.”

Bakugou crouches and holds out his hand for a curious black nose to sniff. Kirishima sits down next to them, watching Riot take a deep whiff and promptly sneeze. Bakugou mutters something about explosives and dumb dog, be careful. Despite the forced casualness on Bakugou’s part, it’s clear he’s not used to being around dogs.

Still, he’s trying. Kirishima’s grin tempers to a soft, close-lipped smile at the sight.

“Back then, I only had a vague idea of who I’d wanna be. As a hero, y’know?” He reaches over to scratch Riot’s favorite spot at the base of his curled tail. It starts wagging immediately. “I was tossing around a few names and somehow Riot stuck. So, I tried it out on him and by the time I realized ‘Yup, that’s the one!’, he didn’t wanna listen to anything else.”

Riot pants at him, mouth wide. Kirishima boops his wet nose. “Yeah, I’m talkin’ about you. Stubborn dog.”

“You’re telling me your hero name got stolen”, Bakugou summarizes drily. “By a dog. When you were six.”

Figures that’s what Bakugou would get out of this. Kirishima snorts and shrugs.

“I guess? Riot – the hero, not the dog – existed way before the whole ‘Red’ stuff came along, ‘cause like… Crimson was out there, I knew he existed, but his philosophy was a bit beyond me. He wasn’t my hero yet, you feel me?”

Bakugou hums. “You weren’t a hero nerd yet. Just a space nerd.”

That startles a laugh out of Kirishima. He knocks his shoulder against Bakugou’s. “Exactly! See, you get me.”

“Shut up, nerd”, comes the predictable reply with a rougher knock back.

Eventually, Bakugou joins him in the grass, his knees propped up and elbows resting on them. Riot makes himself comfortable as well, sprawling on his side with his head resting on Bakugou’s thigh. The full might of pleading canine eyes look upwards. Bakugou squints. “The fuck.”

“He wants scritches”, Kirishima translates readily.

A beat, then Bakugou carefully rubs the knuckles of his index and middle finger in-between the white spots on Riot’s face. Riot huffs a content sigh and melts into the gentle touch.

“Hm. He’s soft.”

“Right? As a puppy, he was the softest and tiniest thing you can imagine. Wait, I might have pics on my phone. Gimme a sec.”

A bit of searching, and Kirishima taps on an old photo of him as a kid, pointy teeth flashed in an impossibly big smile as he hugs a chubby ball of brown fluff close to his face. Mama had dug it up from some dusty family album in a bout of nostalgia after Kirishima broke the news he’d been accepted to U.A.

“Behold: Baby Riot.”

Kirishima shows it to Bakugou. Only after Bakugou’s brows rise does he remember he’s probably never seen him with his natural hair color. Whoops.

Studying the photo for a moment, Bakugou continues to pet the adult version of Riot absent-mindedly. “He looks like a potato.”

“Wha–” Kirishima checks the photo to make sure it’s the same one. “Bakugou. It’s a puppy. It’s like, scientifically proven puppies are the one and only road to world peace. Hello? Nobody hates on a puppy, especially this one.”

Whatever face he’s making has Bakugou smirking, eyes sharp under a brow raised in challenge. “It’s got a weird shape and is brown. Potato.”

Kirishima whines. “Why are you like this? Riot, don’t listen to him, man. You’re the best.”

Riot has fallen asleep, oblivious to the outrageous claims being made in his presence. It’s better that way – the good, old boy deserves better than this slander.

Bakugou is looking down to the snoring dog, too, and something about it must soften even a prickly hedgehog heart like his because he sighs and grumbles: “He’s kinda cool. Maybe.”

Gotcha.

Kirishima pumps his fist in sweet, sweet victory. Nobody, not even the eternally grumpy, can resist the Kirishimas’ secret weapon.

On the way back home, Kirishima messes around with his camera until he’s managed a half-decent selfie of himself and Riot sharing the backseat of his parents’ car. A brief moment is spent hovering over his chat with Bakugou.

It’s the first time he’s opened it since– Since.

Baku 💣💥

[riot(s).jpg] (sent 16:58)

thanks for hosting me man 🐶 (sent 16:58)

dorm life, here we come!! (sent 16:59)

The tension in Kirishima’s chest is knocked loose as the ticks turn blue without delay, closing the gap to the ones from the lodge like it never existed. It unwinds entirely when, a handful of minutes later, Bakugou replies.

Baku 💣💥

idiot (received 17:05)

see you soon (received 17:05)

>>Chapter 6

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #kiribaku #bnha fanfiction #i wanted some fluff so i gave kiri a dog #this fic is also on AO3!!#reblogs appreciated c:#my stuff

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na-klar · 5 years

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“all answers! I OKAY with Lukas” translation (part 1)

Annika: So! We didn’t change clothes!

Lukas: Heh, what?

Annika: It’s a few weeks later but we’re still wearing the same clothes. And hello guys and welcome to this video. I already announced a few weeks ago that there will be an extra video about transgender in regards to the series Druck which is also by funk, it’s linked in the description. Its 3rd season was about...

Lukas: ...Matteo, a gay boy who firstly has to accept the fact that he is homosexual himself, and then falls in love with David. But as he realizes that Matteo is very much interested in David, he distances himself because he’s transgender and doesn’t know how to deal with it.

Annika: And we’ll talk about a few scenes I picked out. It’s best if you watch the show first, it’s linked in the info box--

Lukas: There’ll be spoilers here...

Annika: Yeah, here will definitely be spoilers, just now, in fact. I think we should stop rambling now and begin!

Okay, in episode 25 David distances himself from Matteo because the point is drawing near that he has to come out as transgender sooner or later. Now I wanted to ask you if something like this happened to you in real life as well, i.e. that someone fell in love with you and you had to come out and it got worse because of that.

Lukas: Uhm, no, for me it was that if you’re trans -- this is my experience, I can only talk about my experience -- uhm, during that time where people start dating I had to spend a lot of time with myself, inevitably, because of puberty when things changed that made me not feel comfortable. Which is why during that time there was no place for a relationship or sexuality for me. And my first relationship was when I -- I wasn’t out, I wasn’t out to school -- but the relationship was from a youth club in Hamburg, a LGBT youth club, that’s where I met him and he was pansexual and then we were together. And yeah.

Annika: Yeah cool!

Lukas: But that was -- well, until now I never had this situation regarding a relationship where I really waited such a long time for it to get problematic, but I understand it very well; he came to school with the intention to just get through it, he was bullied at his old school... But I would advise everyone to be as open with it as you can, because at the end of the day you have to talk about it and if you’re really important to that person, then...

Annika: Yeah, I always tell men before they fall in love with me that I’m lesbian, so...

Lukas: Every man, really, right?

Annika: Yes it’s so exhausting!

Lukas: Hello, I’m lesbian, I know, I’m sorry.

Annika: Hello I’m lesbian!

Then there was also an iconic line in the show: “It’s not you, it’s me”

Lukas: Yes!

Annika: A classic, I’ve said it before, have you?

Lukas: Mh... Yeah.

(his phone rings)

Annika: Hey now! Mobile phones have to be turned off during class!

Lukas: My mom called.

Annika: Raise your hands if you said that line at some point. Nice.

Lukas: I think in that moment David says that as well...

Annika: But it’s so true!! I mean if you don’t have feelings for someone than it’s you yourself. Well, also it’s the other person because they’re not compatible with -- okay let’s move on.

So! Next thing I wrote down, episode 28, the outing.

Lukas: The outing. *dum dum dum*

Annika: I wrote this down because... Matteo, in that moment, was really overwhelmed by the information.

(cut to druck clip of David coming out)

Is that-- does that happen often, that people are really overwhelmed with the situation when you tell them that, yeah, I was a woman, I mean-- uh, that’s also reprehensible, isn’t it?

Lukas: Yeah yeah yeah, a woman, ah??

Annika: I mean physically!

Lukas: Physically!

Annika: Phew! It’s so hard, I’m sitting here and have to struggle...

Lukas: Me too, hello? Even I can say something transphobic. But, that’s the thing: when I say something transphobic it’s always like “No. He’s transgender, he can’t be transphobic, that’s complicated”.

For me it’s like that by now, yes. When you’re not passing, when people look at you and are still like... have to think about it then it’s mostly like... “okay, huh, what does that mean?”, which pronouns, which names and stuff, but by now, since I’m very passing fortunately--

Annika: Passing means you are,,,

Lukas: That you’ll be recognized as the gender you feel.

Annika: Learned something again.

Lukas: Exactly. These are the terms. And then it’s mostly just “Huh? Okay?”... But I honestly have to say that I don’t run around and say hey I’m trans when I meet someone.

Annika: Hey! Lesbian!

Lukas: Yeah, like that! Even a lot of the cast -- background info -- a lot of the cast, even when we were in the middle of filming, thought I’m cisgender. They didn’t know I’m trans.

Annika: Awesome. I also thought, I really would have liked to watch this without knowing that you’re a trans man. If I would’ve checked that or not. You can write in the comments how that was for you.

Lukas: Yeah, if one of you didn’t know that spoiler already.

Annika: Yeah, and now a general question that might be a bit emotional, but... does rejection happen often?

Lukas: Rejection... naturally there are friends that come and go. When I came out pubically, in school, there were a few people who distanced themselves but that was okay for me because I don’t need these kind of people...

Annika: I always say you can sort out your friends really well like this. If people stay with you despite that information -- this sounds so stupid -- because you’re still the same person as before, then they are real friends and people who are like “oh my gooood nooo byeee” then you can sort them out, that’s what I always say, which is why it isn’t a loss.

Lukas: Yeah, with transgender it’s always like, “are you someone else now?” but you’re still the same person, it’s just the gender that’s now right and the way you feel and how you want to be addressed as.

I had a job offer with children that was denied because I’m transgender. And that, that was... that hurt a little. But that was in the moment that they told me “can’t you work as female here?”

Annika: What?!

Lukas: I mean, “start working here, that’s almost the same, we also had lesbian people here” and I was like yeah. Cool.

Annika: What is that even-- What even is the difference???

Lukas: Yeah... they were like, “we’re afraid the parents might have a problem with this and that you’re confusing the children”, so these classic statements...

Annika: Oh my god... Every kid that I touch turns lesbian. It is contagious.

Lukas: It’s difficult.

But then I declined with thanks to work there as a girl.

Annika: A scene that I found beautiful is when Matteo talked to his flatmate and the flatmate just said “hey, what even is your problem with David being transgender? What do you like about him?” and this question was so nice, what do you like about him, because I think the same thing. I love that person not because they’re a woman but because the way they are. I mean, that she’s a woman is an influence, but... the person themselves is important. That’s what I wanted to say and that’s what I found beautiful.

(cut to druck clip of Matteo talking to Hans about David)

Lukas: And that is what you have to decide for yourself, to say, okay, can I imagine being with a trans man -- I can’t force anyone to be into me?

Annika: I can.

Lukas: But in the show it was nice for me to have Hans ask what is the important thing.

Annika: Then it comes to the big outing in school. Because the PE teacher doesn’t want to grade David as a man but as a woman.

(cut to druck clip of the coming out)

Lukas: You can’t say that it’s not unrealistic. It is realistic.

The problem with school is always grading and especially regarding PE, boys and girls are graded differently, and...

Annika: I always got so upset because I wanted to be graded the same way as boys, they’re not better than I am! But at high jump I was kinda glad that girls were graded differently...

Lukas: That scene is only on the phone’s display and we started to act this scene in the changing room and Neuhaus says to David “but that’d be so positive for you, you’re getting better grades then!”. Mr. Neuhaus in our story -- that was important for us and the actor -- he’s not just evil. He’s not doing this to make David feel bad but he wanted to help him actually. David reacts accordingly, he’s like uh no? and that’s what makes him mad, he has his plan and that didn’t work out. And with school it’s difficult, there are a lot of things that you have to be aware of. Before I was out I talked to my school for about a month what you can do, with names, on certifications and such, all of that has to do with your ID and burocracy, uh, pretty boring stuff. And toilets, for example, too. In one scene, David comes out of a toilet which is actually a toilet for the teachers. At my school I got the key for the disabled toilet, which is of course a bit... critical... transgender isn’t a disability. That wasn’t what that meant. It draws attention to you, which isn’t convenient but... you have to find solutions so that everyone can deal with it.

I think what you have to say is that the reactions of the students on that staircase are a first reaction. It’s not something where they group up because they’re standing there a bit like chickens on the roost and are like “okay. now you’re over. You’re out of this school”...

People react to a new information that they didn’t expect and that’s the big thing in that moment.

Annika: Especially at that age there’ll be big gossip.

Lukas: When I came out to my school, my classmates reacted really positively and were really nice and I don’t want anyone who’s transgender and watches this show to think this is what will happen, I mean you can also see in the following episodes that--

Annika: That everyone stand up for him because that’s something normal.

Lukas: Exactly.

Annika: Often it’s better to be self-confident, because then people think “okay, I won’t say anything then”. When they realize that you’re an easy target then they attack you.

Lukas: Right. You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are or what makes you different but be proud because that’s what makes you to the person that you are.

part 2

#druck #lukas alexander #druck translation

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pianoandcookiedoughlover · 3 years

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alrighty i've decided to just flush all of my thoughts out on here about big shot, spoilers for up until ep 9 (the latest ep at this point) and yeah, definitely let me know what you all think!

(this is a looooooong post so i'm very sorry for that)

this is honestly just going to be a messy stream of consciousness since i don't have time right now to go through each episode in detail, but i might end up going back over those at some point. for now, this is just general likes and dislikes.

staaaaaarting with the negatives:

(i think it boils down to this) lack of self awareness

this especially stuck out to me with olive's storyline. i'm sure we've all seen this before, where one character hides their financial issues to "fit in," but what irked me about this portrayal was the fact that olive . . . is still very well off!!

more out of curiosity than anything, i compared the median house price to where they were (san diego, i believe) to where i live and it's almost three times higher, and i am very grateful that my family and i live comfortably - what i mean by this is that they can afford to live in a nice area with a nice house (in my opinion, at least what we've seen of it), olive seems to have enough money for having gelato often with the girls, wears nice outfits and accessories, etc

this is by no means a criticism of her specifically, just in the way the show tries to force her into "the poor friend" - it feels insulting when there are so many people out there in a worse position. if they had acknowledged more that the "standard" of wealth is much higher where this is set and explored that deeper it could've been a well-executed storyline, but for me, the show isn't self-aware enough to communicate that well

unlikeable characters

i don't know if i'm alone in this but . . . i find the large majority of the characters to be annoying??

the way they introduced the girls with them saying "we find whistles triggering" and "we don't like labels" almost felt like a poke to a growing culture of being aware of those kinds of things rather than viewing it as a helpful thing. it reminds of the worst parts of twitter -people relentlessly attacking others for some higher moral ground - and that annoyed me in principle.

i just watched ep 9 (spoiler for that) and emma is just so pressed about this play?? like she was just not giving up

OH that reminds me, the way her and lucas met? i can confidently say i would've been out of there the minute he walked up to me alskdadsjlwa

i honestly can't pick any specific moment off the top of my head but i just found the girls to often be annoying, in the ways they reacted to things and talked to others. if i did do an ep-by-ep breakdown i would try and get some examples on here

but mainly it's the adults!! i don't know if we're supposed to be rooting for marvyn and the drama teacher (i forgot her name lmao) but i just get so annoyed by her character. often in shows the drama teacher is very ~dramatic~ and in some ways acts like the kids but here she is so persistent yet inflexible and childish that it grinds on my nerves

maybe i'm biased because of my own personal experience but i find the counselor to be a pointless character who also just annoys me for existing oops

the fucking carlsbad coach can fight me jesus christ

and ms. grint was written to be some villain and just completely unnecessarily confrontational when i actually thought she had some good points??

anyway my point with this is that i don't believe the writers are intentionally writing the characters this way but they make them so hard to root for for me

gruzinsky family drama

i thought this plot was really off base, from the way the carlsbad students were relentlessly attacking louise because of it, to the argument her and destiny got in over it (which turned out to be a good thing, i'll get to it) - it felt really rushed and while it was meant to be a really emotional and insightful storyline into louise's character, nothing was really fleshed out enough to hit in the way i think it was designed to

for a plot with that much knock-off emotion and turmoil, i think it was underdeveloped

missed opportunities

when destiny mentioned in the first ep (i believe?) that she was only doing basketball for college applications, i got really excited because i thought this show would explore that which i know is a reality for so many students. instead only going with the "well, thanks to you, coach, i fell in love with it for real" it would have been really interesting to examine the pressures students face with doing extracurriculars only for a good resume. i think louise also mentioned something related to that and about her parents' expectations for college

i don't know if they're planning to get to it, but with mouse, destiny, and olive all being women of color on the team, i think it would be a great storyline to go into any discrimination they may have faced as poc in sports, and what their experience has been like so far. i think that would be a really important message to get across and raise awareness about.

also mouse and sam?? are we just going to look past that? okay then

good things

mouse and harper, of course. and i suppose not in the relationship itself (harper is not my favorite as a character, the way she's written out) but in how normalized it is. from one of the first few episodes, mouse is canonically determined to have a crush on harper and there's no discussion about it, no homophobic comment, no weird glances, nothing. media discussing homophobia and the struggle queer people have with coming out is absolutely important, but shows like this where it becomes completely normalized is so important too because it is trying to reflect (and hopefully, in turn, create) a society that us queer people would feel much better in.

mouse's song she wrote for harper was so sweet i honestly melted, and the kiss is absolutely groundbreaking (even though it shouldn't be ugh)!! i'm just frustrated that the above negative points kind of ruin the show and dim down my excitement about this ship. i still think they're very cute, though.

i really love and appreciate the sapphic rep <3

one character that i actually really like is holly! i think she has a great combination of humor and a loving nature, and is also stern when she needs to be. they haven't dropped her sarcastic banter with marvyn as they both grow which i think is great - they're really fun together and growing into a better person doesn't mean you can't have fun, of course.

now this is a wild card here, but i raise you this: a ship between destiny and louise.

mh hm, yes.

i doubt disney would be bold enough to put two sapphic couples in one show but let me just give you my take.

i think that they are both two really interesting characters. i especially like destiny. they both grew a lot after the whole drama with louise's dad and the petition and i think learned to see each other's perspective through that.

and, might i add, after that whole time the girls were calling destiny a traitor and not a real friend, destiny was the only one that invited her round for dinner and really brought her into her family, which i thought was super sweet.

plus, now louise is the only one who knows about this family secret of destiny's (spoiler, but i'm keeping it vague) and that gives them something to sort of connect over and form a closer bond because of

also in the last episode i just thought it was cute when louise said "i know that look" - just those little moments of intimacy when you really get to know someone are my weak spot lmao

i'm interested to see where they go with destiny's storyline going forward too, but it does feel like they kind of resolved it so i guess we'll see

wow okay you finally made it to the end! honestly, you deserve a cookie, here 🍪

i'm definitely curious if i'm the odd one out here and just hear everyone's views on this so please let me know!! thanks for reading this mess :)

#big shot #eden rambles about fictional characters #i'm probably just completely the wrong demographic hahaha #i do not touch sports whatsoever #so maybe it's all going over my head #but yeah those were my initial messy thoughts #also not really proofread so excuse any mistakes in grammar or anything 😳

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