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chapter-61 · 4 years

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CARRY ON COUNTDOWN DAY 15: Floral

AO3, POST-CARRY ON

It starts with a yellow tulip.

When Simon wakes up on the couch for the fifth day in a row, he doesn’t feel like getting up. What’s the point? He doesn’t have anything planned (as usual) and Baz has classes. Penny is gone for two weeks to visit Agatha, so he’s on his own.

He supposes he could visit his therapist, but he’s been ignoring their appointments for a while and it’d be awkward.

After a moment of consideration, he decides staying on the couch is the better option. He reaches for the remote on the coffee table but stops when he notices the flower. Simon doesn’t know much about flowers but he recognizes the tulip. It’s yellow and wrapped in plastic.

He frowns at it and sits up. Unless he started sleepwalking last night, he’s sure he didn’t put the flower there. Which only leaves Baz. But Baz had left yesterday evening after dinner, when Simon didn’t feel up to conversation, or anything else. He had felt bad, but the feeling was overshadowed by his discomfort of being in someone else’s company, so he didn’t say anything as Baz kissed him goodbye on the cheek.

Simon is certain Baz didn’t bring the flower with him, though, because he surely would’ve noticed. And Baz isn’t a flower person, right? He’s never said as much, anyway.

Maybe someone broke in, but why would they leave a flower? It doesn’t seem like anything was stolen either, so it’s very unlikely.

Which brings him back to Baz. He could’ve come back at night while Simon was sleeping to put the flower there, but he can’t figure out why.

“I suppose.” His voice is still a bit croaky from sleep and disuse.

Wrestling with his wings, he manages to stand up. Dizziness overcomes him and he almost falls back down, but he keeps upright. Mostly. He keeps his eyes on the flower.

When he’s steadier after a few seconds, he finally picks it up and lifts it to his nose. It smells nice. His mouth corners curl up and the smile on his face surprises him. It feels foreign, but he’s still holding the flower, so the smile stays.

Simon puts the flower down delicately and finds he has the energy to walk to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. Along the way, he picks up his mobile phone to send Baz a text.

To: Baz (9:14) thanks for the flower

He replies almost instantly.

From: Baz (9:15) You’re welcome. It’s a tulip.

To: Baz (9:15) i know

From: Baz (9:21) Alright.

After breakfast, Simon puts the tulip in an empty water bottle, and mostly forgets about it.

Until a few days later, when he finds another flower in the living room. The last few nights he always made it to his bed, an achievement he’s weirdly proud of.

This time, he doesn’t recognize the flower sort. He picks it up and examines it closely. It’s really pretty. The flower is mostly bright purple (magenta, he can hear Penny’s voice in his head), with multiple layers of petals. The magenta petals have yellow ends and circle the middle part of the flower (the stigma?), which is the same bright yellow.

A quick google search doesn’t seem to bring it up, so he opens his texts instead.

To: Baz (9:20) what type is this?

From: Baz (9:23) It’s a zinnia, part of the Heliantheae tribe. It’s related to the sunflower.

To: Baz (9:23) it’s very pretty

From: Baz (9:24) Try to keep it in a place with a lot of sunlight.

To: Baz (9:24) ok, thanks

He finds another empty water bottle on the counter, fills it with a bit of water and puts the flower in. It’s really nice and bright. He puts it on a window sill in the living room, where the sunlight hits it perfectly. It lights up the room, and Simon feels slightly warmer inside.

A week later, Simon wakes up later than usual. Baz stayed the evening, and they watched a movie together. He doesn’t really remember what movie it was, he was mostly watching Baz. His feet were in Baz’ lap and Baz had been gently massaging them. Simon couldn’t keep his attention on the movie after that.

When he exits his room and passes the window sill, he smiles at the flowers. He had his suspicions before, but now he’s sure Baz put a spell on them, because they still look as fresh as the day he found them. They still smell amazing as well, and the apartment hasn’t smelled this nice in a long time.

He’s so busy looking at the flowers while he passes, he almost misses the new flower on the coffee table. Simon can feel his smile grow when he walks towards it.

He picks it up and is pleased that he recognizes it.

To: Baz (10:45) a daffodil?

From: Baz (10:47) I’m impressed. Yes, it’s a daffodil. A jonquil, to be more exact. Narcissus jonquilla.

To: Baz (10:47) :D

He puts away his mobile phone and adds the flower to his collection. Then, he has an idea.

To: Penny (10:53) hey do u still have that flower book somewhere??

From: Penny (11:07) Good morning to you, too. You’re lucky we just arrived in New York or you’d be waking me up at 3am. Why do you need it?

To: Penny (11:07) i’ll tell u when u get back

From: Penny (11:08) Fine, it should be on a shelf in my room. Don’t break it, please.

He scoffs and goes to Penny’s room. Between the magic books and cooking books, there’s the one he’s looking for. The Language Of Flowers, by Chlorissa Anthis.

Simon tries to contain his curiosity as he takes the book with him to the couch. He opens the heavy book to the index, and looks for the first flower.

Tulips

There are many interpretations for tulips, depending on their color. Generally, tulips represent love. A red tulip stands for strong, true love, while purple symbolizes royalty. White tulips represent worthiness or forgiveness, and pink tulips can stand for elegance or gratitude. The most complex meaning has to belong to the yellow tulip. They used to represent hopelessness or unrequited love, but are now more commonly used as an expression for cheerfulness and sunshine. More than that, they’re used to compliment someone’s sunshine-like smile or beautiful eyes.

Oh. Well. That brings a sappy smile to his face.

To: Baz (11:17) you think my eyes are beautiful?

From: Baz (11:18) I have no idea what you’re talking about.

To: Baz (11:18) suuuuure

He looks over at the purple flower now. A zinnia, was it?

To: Baz (11:19) what color is the zinnia?

From: Baz (11:21) Are you turning blind? Do you need me to pick up a pair of glasses?

To: Baz (11:21) ha ha. indulge me

From: Baz (11:25) It’s mostly magenta, but mixed with yellow towards the ends.

Simon quickly turns to the index again and looks for the zinnia.

Zinnia

The zinnia is a tough flower and stands for endurance in many forms. It varies from standing by a loved one through a difficult time to a joyous endurance of daily remembrance. If the zinnia is red, it symbolizes the steadfastness of the heart and family, like a beating heart. A white zinnia stands for goodness, and magenta for lasting affection, even through harder circumstances. Lastly, a zinnia can have mixed colors, which means the gifter misses their absent friend/lover and wants them to know they’re still thinking about them.

That’s very different from the yellow tulip. He starts to doubt whether Baz actually meant something with the type of flower, or if he just picked the prettiest. But then he can’t help thinking of the night before, when Baz felt so far away while he was sitting right next to him on the couch. Simon’s always missing Baz, even when he’s nearby. Maybe the same goes for Baz. He’s never thought of it like that. And he supposes the distance between them could be seen as an absence of the other person.

If the book is to be believed, Baz wants to let Simon know that there’s still lasting affection from his side. Which he knows, of course, because why else would Baz still visit almost every day? On the other hand, he had started to doubt Baz’ feelings for him lately, with the giant hole between them nowadays. That’s Simon’s fault, though. He’s the one that’s been acting weird and distant and he wouldn’t fault Baz for wanting to put an end to it. Which brings him back to the significance of the mixed colours.

He takes a deep breath and looks for the daffodil family now.

Jonquil

A jonquil is a very romantic flower, but it can also be a symbol of sorrow. Legend says that this flower originates from the Greek myth of Persephone. In its purest form, the jonquil stands for desire and sympathy. Desire to have love and affection returned. A single jonquil commonly means ‘love me, please’. In the absence of reciprocated feelings, it is clear that the flower can represent sorrow as well.

These flowers are getting more and more depressing, Simon thinks. Does Baz not know how much Simon loves him?

He looks back on his behaviour towards Baz over the last few months, and is suddenly appalled. They’ve barely had long conversations, most of them happening over the phones, and Baz had always been the one to initiate it. Baz had also always been the one to initiate touches, and he took Simon on trips around the city without Simon asking.

Has he really been that detached from the love of his life?

As is often the case when he doesn’t know the answer to a question, he texts Penny.

To: Penny (11:35) am i a bad boyfriend? be honest

From: Penny (11:38) I wouldn’t say you’re a bad boyfriend to Baz, but you haven’t really been in a happy headspace in a while. I think Baz misses you, though, and you miss him. What is this all about? I’m coming home in 2 days, you two better be okay!

Instead of responding to Penny, he sends a text to Baz.

To: Baz (11:39) hey are u coming over tonight?

From: Baz (11:40) I was planning on it. Do you not want me to come?

To: Baz (11:40) nonono please come. i’ll make the food, you don’t have to bring anything

From: Baz (11:41) Are you sure, Simon? I don’t mind cooking.

To: Baz (11:41) very sure, it’ll work out dw

From: Baz (11:42) Alright. Now I’m curious. See you tonight.

Hope blooms in his chest. At least he hasn’t totally messed everything up with Baz yet. He checks the time and puts Penny’s book back. He should have plenty of time to make something edible.

A few minutes later, he’s out of the apartment and on his way to the grocery store.

On the way back home, he stops by a flower shop.

The doorbell rings a bit after 6, and Simon rolls his eyes. He saunters over to the door and opens it to a waiting Baz. Simon is stricken by how good he looks, and it’s not just the smile on his face.

“Hi,” he breathes.

“Hi,” Baz replies, with that beautiful smile still present.

Simon shakes himself and opens the door wider to let Baz in. “I know you have a key.”

“I do. I wanted you to open the door, though. Get some exercise in.”

Simon snorts as he walks back to the kitchen, suddenly feeling awkward. Is he supposed to greet Baz with a kiss? He wants to, and they’ve been together for over a year, so it should be okay. But he’s not sure how to do it. It’s been a while since he initiated contact between them.

Baz seems to know what’s on his mind, because when he turns back around, his boyfriend is right in front of him. Damn vampire.

“It looks so much cleaner here. Lighter. And something smells delicious.”

Before Simon can answer, Baz closes the distance between them and gives him a soft kiss. “Good evening, love.”

Simon can’t help the blush spreading over his face. “Hi.”

Baz chuckles and goes to lean against the kitchen counter. “You look better, too.”

“I feel better,” he replies honestly.

They smile at each other. Then, Simon says, “Thanks for the flowers.”

Now it’s Baz turn to flush. “Did you find out their meanings?”

“Wait here,” Simon says instead of answering, and he walks over to his room with a slight jump in his step.

He comes back with a single red rose. Baz looks at it with wide eyes.

“You know the meaning of this one?” Simon asks him.

“Of course I do,” Baz replies quietly.

Simon hands over the rose and pulls Baz to him, with his arms around Baz’ neck. “I love you,” he whispers, before he kisses him with all the power he has.

A single red rose signifies pure, fulfilled love. It’s an expression to convey the purest and deepest affection. I love you.

#<333 #carry on countdown #coc 2019 #carry on #day 15 #my fics

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