#and he’s had such an incredible life and career

[ghcstao3]

AU rambles. like a Lot of yapping

soap and ghost were childhood friends. they grew up some in the same small town, nestled between thick forests and far from much else.

like most towns similar to their own, talk of monsters is not uncommon—shouldn’t be, anyhow, with their prominence. such old forests constantly looking around them, supernatural creatures are bound to live within, and outside of their depths. and in small towns where people are sometimes attacked or go missing, it isn’t surprising, either, when there are individuals who take up a career as hunters.

john has seen it all—hexes, werewolf scratches, vampire bites, possessions, you name it—being that he comes from a long line of hunters. but, in all honesty, he doesn’t really want to pursue that, too. he’d rather do what he and simon always planned to do: save up as much as they could until john finally turned eighteen just two years after simon would, then run away to a life somewhere else. a life less dreary, less lives in paranoia, with crowds and crowds of people and where no one knew your name. it would be perfect.

but then simon disappears when they’re twelve and fourteen, without a word. his entire family just up and vanished one day, no warning, and no hint as to where they could have gone. what could have happened. and somehow, someway, as it does in small towns such as their—rumours eventually and inevitably twist into a story about monsters abducting and surely massacring the riley family. john has no choice but to believe this, otherwise he might be left hopelessly wondering if simon just couldn’t wait anymore.

without simon, john ends up becoming a hunter. he could never find the courage to leave alone, and at least this way he can make someone happy, even if memories of simon would always weigh heavy on his conscience. he wonders what he did wrong. wonders if he should have started his training sooner, so maybe he could have protected simon from whatever thing had gotten him.

thirteen years go by. john has become incredibly good at his job, fulfilling the fate his lineage had set out for him as best as he can, if not better. he’s certain that nothing could catch him off guard anymore—or at least, he was, until one day simon shows up at his front door. looking older, taller, broader, more worn—but undeniably simon.

or so it seems at first. because as time goes on after their sudden reunion, something feels… off about simon. nothing terribly obvious or of note, but something is, without a doubt, different. and john can’t quite put his finger on it.

meanwhile simon is dealing with a somewhat new affliction—vampirism—and didn’t know who else to go to, once he’d mostly curbed those fledgling cravings. the only problem he’s now realizing, however, is that john, his johnny, now kills his kind on the regular, and simon doesn’t know if he’ll be safe for long—but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t at least try to get john’s help and understanding.

even if it kills him, too.

#modern or historical up to you guys #but just a little thought #open to expansion as always #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost x soap #ghoap #alternate universe

[vickyvicarious]

Oh yes, the feeling that you have to rely to the creeper who you loathe so much that you have come to hate even the rooms he resides in, that he's not the scariest thing in your life, that you have to run to his arms for safety. Horror! Dracula claiming him was the high point of the entry (than the almost-bite)

Honestly, yeah. The dynamics between Dracula and Jonathan are so scary, to the point that all the supernatural events are the cherry on top rather than the main course, as far as the horror of this section goes.

Dracula does so much manipulation here, holds so many different kinds of power over Jonathan, and multiple levels of each too. He's got physical power - both in the sense of the castle being a prison, and in the sense of his incredible strength. He's got social power - as a noble, and as a client/boss. He's got monetary power over Jonathan too, able to potentially make or ruin his career. He has so much control over Jonathan's ability to express himself - he's the only company available to him, he's forcing him to keep up a pretense of friendship, he's limiting and controlling his communication with others. Jonathan has no escape: he can't go out of the castle because he's locked in, he can't go many places inside the castle because he's locked out of them, and now he can't leave the rooms Dracula wants him in because otherwise the vampire ladies will get him, and within those rooms there is nowhere safe from Dracula himself. Jonathan has seemingly no action he can take: if he sneaks around behind Dracula's back, a greater threat awaits. If he acts openly, Dracula's own threat may become realized. If he doesn't act at all, he's doomed. If he acts at all, he's doomed. If he trusts Dracula, he's doomed. If he doesn't trust Dracula, he's doomed.

Of course, the supernatural elements are the mechanics by which Dracula increases the stakes, the threats underlying the charming veneer. Specifically, the introduction of the vampire women is what puts Jonathan in this seemingly inescapable box, and one with potential threats to something even greater than his life.

But Dracula's playing this Bluebeard role and could have done so with some more mundane threat as well, without changing too terribly much about his own actions. Where he's scariest (at least to me) is in these interactions with Jonathan, in these manipulative webs and traps he lays out in his words, in the way he pushes so many boundaries until they're forced to collapse or warp under the pressure. Jonathan's privacy keeps getting worn away. Dracula's speech and touch get more familiar and more possessive. He started out the first night blaming Jonathan for the things he did himself ('oh, why did you make your conversation so interesting we had to stay up all night?') and escalates until now he's making Jonathan be the one to act, and to suffer the consequences: whether in forcing him to lie to his loved ones, or in dangling the bait of sleeping outside his room and then only barely saving him when he does. And Jonathan has no real choice but to act. To fail to do so, in one way or another, would mean giving up all hope at escape or likely even survival. But because he has to act, he winds up feeling complicit. He ends up in situations where Dracula thanks him, forgives him, saves him. It keeps putting them on seemingly the same side, with Jonathan in a lesser/reliant role. And that's all a huge lie, at its core. But in a very real way, it's true too, to an extent. More and more, he's getting layers of resistance scraped away, and having to seek safety from Dracula now is so, so horrifying. In many ways all he truly has left is his will to live, his internal determination to resist - and now he's been given powerful incentive not to trust in that latter part too much. It's absolutely brutal.

He's walking a wire that just keeps getting thinner and thinner. All he can possibly do is try to keep this balancing act going, and hope for something to change that will give him more options down the line.

#dracula daily #jonathan harker #count dracula #rikiteekeetavee #replies #dracula claiming him was nearly the worst part of the entry. but for me jonathan's thoughts about it after the fact are even worse. #and it's not nearly rock bottom yet!

[cazzyf1]

Some facts about Niki Lauda

Five years since he left us today 💔

As a kid, he was bullied for coming from a well-off family and for having an overbite. He and his brother would be chauffeured to school, and Niki would beg to be dropped off around the corner so the kids wouldn't see him arriving in the car.

Niki failed his school degree but forged the certificate so his parents wouldn't know he had failed.

Niki's first job was working at a garage, but he was demoted to 'food runner' when he accidentally broke part of an expensive car. All the mechanics would chuck things at him from then.

One of his first cars was a car his friend's dad owned that he went out joyriding in and then crashed. He knew he had to buy the car before his friend's dad found out so ran to his grandma and told her if she didn't give him the money, he would go to jail.

Niki was always at odds with his grandad as he felt his grandad was very hypocritical. His grandad didn't want Niki to be racing and actually stopped one of the banks giving Niki money for his racing career but Niki got around his grandad in the end. Sadly his grandad died before Niki achieved any big success in Formula One.

He met his girlfriend Mariella skiing, when he fell down a slope and ended up lying in a star fish position beside her. As soon as he got up he invited her to a dance. They arrived and found the dance rather boring and left not long after.

As soon as he could, he moved out of his parent's house, determined to try and make his way in life without their help. This meant going into debt to try and fund his racing career. He even took out life insurance on himself.

After driving for March, he was let go and he felt incredibly depressed because he was in a lot of debt with no seat. He knew of a dead end road with a brick wall near to where he was driving and he debated driving into the wall but quickly got rid of those thoughts. He thankfully got a seat with BRM.

Niki would joke with his receptionist, where he would ask if Ferrari had called. One day the receptionist told him they had.

Mariella was popular among the driver wives, and she got along with Helen Stewart and Bette Hill, though she never really liked the sport and believed once Niki had won his world championship, he should retire to focus on things that would actually bring in money. Niki had no intention of retiring. When Niki suddenly broke up with her, the other drivers' wives tried to conspire to get Mariella and Niki back together, though he was now dedicated to Marlene.

Niki got along really well with Luca Cordero di Montezemolo and even named his first son, Lukas, after Luca.

Niki was raised with manners which included kissing a ladies hand. When he won the Monaco gp for the first time he kissed Princess Grace's hand which wasn't allowed. He was very confused as to why everyone was making a fuss about it.

Niki was attempting to dig out ground with a tractor for his own swimming pool when he accidentally flipped it and got crushed under breaking three ribs. From this he was introduced to Willi Dungl who told Niki he would have to travel to Vienna to be treated by him. Willi didn't believe he would but when Niki did turn up he agreed to treat him, and there, their friendship started which would be useful for when Niki had his bad crash at the Nürburgring because Willi helped him recover quickly

Niki has no memory of the crash after he left the pits, but when he was being transported to hospital someone ran up to him with a phone and asked him to give an interview for a Brazilian show. He has no idea what he said.

Niki didn't like the fact that people kept staring at his scars rather than at himself when they spoke to him, and so Willi grabbed a hat and put it on Niki's head. Niki then realised he could earn money by getting sponsors to pay him to wear a hat with their logo.

After 1976, the Ferrari team were trying to push Niki out as they felt after the crash he wouldn't be as good. But he had already signed the contract and made sure he was going to race for 1977, won the world championship and then left as he didn't want to deal with Ferrari's politics. It would take a few years before he and Enzo Ferrari reconciled.

Niki Lauda and James Hunt were friends and had lots of fun together. Niki invited James to a party and then offered to fly James to the GP practise the next day. James almost missed Niki's flight as he was still up partying in the morning.

When Niki Lauda retired, Marlene was so happy that when she found out the first thing she did was call Niki's grandmother to tell her and then went to the local bar where they lived and paid for all drinks to celebrate.

Niki is one of the few drivers that read the new terms for the 1982 super licence and organised to go on strike. He was one of the main leaders and one of the older drivers reassuring everyone else.

He wasn't happy when John Watson was let go and Alain Prost came in for Mclaren. He was suspicious on how nice Alain was and how fast he was but eventually he warmed up to Alain taking a mentor role.

Willi Dungl put Niki on a strict diet for his racing and overall fitness which is where Niki's obsession with having strawberries and yogurt every morning. Niki would try and cheat the diet all the time though including running across fields to his neighbours house to have schnitzel.

Dr Sid Watkins once caught Niki cheating his diet by having an English breakfast. When he confronted Niki, Niki replied 'Do you want me to die hungry?'

It was a close battle between Niki and Alain Prost but eventually Niki won. Niki could see Alain was upset though and told him this was his year and next year would be Alain's year.

Niki didn't care for his trophies and gave them to his local garage for free car washes. He eventually got them back when the man passed away, and his son Lukas sold them on eBay to earn money to fund his younger brother Mathias racing career.

When he first started working at Mercedes, him and Toto Wolff did not get along as there was a power struggle. They were called in to talk to the Mercedes bosses about it, and before the meeting, Niki confronted Toto in the toilets, and they agreed to get along.

Asshole was Niki's favourite word. He became known around Mercedes for saying the catchphrase 'Give it assholes'

During Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg's rivalry, Niki invited them to his home in Ibiza and tried locking them in a room together to discuss their issues.

Niki once went to Toto when they were at a hotel complaing about the pay for view at the hotel not working. Toto had to show Niki how he could get 'action movies' on his phone.

A reporter once asked Niki how he prepared for the film 'Rush' he replied that he had prepared the barbecue.

On my Instagram account dedicated to Niki Lauda, @niki.lauda.tribute, today (20th), on my stories, I am hosting the opposite to submit anonymous messages about Niki Lauda. If you would like, you can send anything, like your thoughts on Niki, what he means to you, what an impact he has had on you, ect.

#classic f1 #niki lauda #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #rip niki lauda

[mitoad]

i had a thought about marine life cod something something sighhhh and now i wanna draw them. all of them.

the first thing i thought of was vampire squid!konig.... you get what i see right, or like, he could be some other (massive) squid

gaz reminds me of a nurse shark.. number one, they're cute and look sweet, number two they look awfully boopable🎀🎀 there's no number three but just look at pictures of them that's literally gaz

soap would be a ray maybe?? specifically a spotted eagle ray. he could be a narwhal too because they're silly <3

phantom jellyfish!ghost obviously!!!

i'm thinking price could be a whale, but i'm not sure what yet? i;m so indecisive... beluga!price or humpback whale!price, perhaps?

and nikolai is a pilot whale like are you joking

i have no ideas for the others yet sadly because i have a little pea brain, but ill probably come up with some things soon...

fellow anon, DRAW THEM . I LOVE MARINE LIFE COD AUS SO MUCH RRHHRHRHRHRHRHRHHRHRHRHRHHRHRHRHHRHRHRHRHRHHRHRHRHHRHRHRHH !!!!!!!!! please pleasep lease dra them if u have time ....... they give me brain juices... .. . .. .

yayaya !!!! konig could definetly be a vampire squid !! tbh ive always seen him as maybe under the octopoda order (mostly due to the insane amounts of cthulu nd octo konig in this fandom) but i can certainly see him as a vampire squid !!! he gives the vibes- generally trying to contain the power he has and not get unnecessary blood on his hands (vampire squids are detritivore) nd a lot less menacing than it seems . more of an avoidant personality as well !!

and YAYAYYYAYAYYA gas is definitely some type of less aggressive shark !!! honestly nurse shark matches him the best but i occasionally believe he is a catshark or epaulette , they're easygoing and docile (IF UNPROVOKED) and so so cutie patootie i project my fav sharks on him bc he is my fav character

and soap does give ray vibes, but hear me out : eel soap >!?!! especially variants that hunt via electricity (like him !! but he uses bombs that arent necessarily IEDs but SAME THING) and r super duper energetic a lot , but oh em gee,,,,,,, he would make such a good spotted eagle ray .....

ok we all agree on phantom jelly ghost its cannon guys he is literally the big mysterious jelly

and price , although i like to think of him as a great white (better dynamics w/ other characters), he honestly would match a lot of species of whale much better . i forgot the name of this species specifically , but i do believe it was some type of bleaked whale ?? they scar white from injuries over time, and have a long lifespan . most of them will turn white over their lifespan due to the injuries that they get, and i think that does go after price's military career and how his scars the events he's lived through have sort of become part of him (ghost could definitely be this species too now i think about it), and how he's lived past points where his allies have fallen .

OK NIK AS A PILOT WHALE . YEYSYYEYS THATS FUNNY AS FUCK HAIJASHFKFH

i would like to think that laswell would be some form of species of whale , maybe one that is intelligent and capable of many forms of mutalism relationships due to her being ... yknow .... insanely based ....

makarov would be an orca. highly intelligent, only realised to be extremely dangerous once studied. ganging up on every fucking fish in the world. capable of competing with other apex predators like great whites.

graves.... unpopular opinion, but he is a stonefish . sneaky bastard and incredibly fucking dangerous . but stupid looking and a silly skrumkle very much so .

nyways i am too tired to think but i will go to sleep dreaming of the 141 eating salmon tonight ......... thank u very mysterious but very lovely fishy anon ...........

#🍵 mito's rambles°｡ ⋆⸜ #cod modern warfare #call of duty #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #john price #john price cod #captain price #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #cod kyle gaz garrick #john soap mactavish #john mactavish #cod soap #simon ghost riley #simon ghost #simon riley #ghost cod #konig #konig cod #cod konig #konig call of duty #konig mw2 #vladimir makarov #call of duty makarov #cod makarov #cod graves #philip graves #graves cod

[martiandmichelle]

Roxy -

As I wrote in a post a couple days ago, Roxy and I got divorced late winter this year after 3½ years of marriage. We still love each other and still have sex with each other on our own terms (meaning not just on porn sets). She used her gift of wonder over my body and an inspiration to be the best I - and everyone around her - can be. For my part, I took a wallpaper girl and now all agree she is wise well beyond her 27 years. I didn't do that for her, but maybe I gave her the confidence to do it herself.

So why? Surely our age gap (46 years difference) played a part. Also, being married to a porn actress and model as busy as myself may have helped her career as a writer but it was also straining as you watch your wife having exquisite sex with many men and women. And, lastly, Roxy fount Mirren and Mirren found Roxy.

And who is Mirren: we've mentioned her name a few times. When Mirren first joined us she chose the name Nicola. She changed that performer name to Kwanta when Emily started calling her that after Emily said Mirren's body was a "quantum (read Kwanta) leap" beyond anyone else's. When she moved into the upper echelon of our studio she changed her name once more to Mirren in honor of her favorite actress Helen Mirren and because like myself, Michelle, and Maria, she wanted her name to start with an "M." (I told her to please chose a name and stick with it this time.)

So what makes Mirren this "quantum leap?" She's strikingly beautiful with incredible legs. She stands a slender 5'8". Her hair is a lovely auburn. But where's this "quantum leap?" When Mirren first came to us (sent by corporate to us for training), she went by her given name: RORY! Yep, Mirren spent most of life being identified as a man. But not your ordinary man, but a man that statistically shouldn't exist. I remember well the day Dana introduced the man Rory to us all. I think we all looked at each other at first with a "what's up with him?" expression; that was, until he lowered his pants. And there, half hard, was by far the biggest cock we had ever seen - and we had seen them up to 13 + inches. Even half hard this thing was the biggest with the largest set of balls we had ever seen. But the term "half hard" was the catch. Seems Rory was sent to us to see if we could get him fully hard. While most of us gazed in wonder at it or even came to him and stroked it (as I was the first to do) it still never got hard, even when I pulled my tits out and rubbed that monster between them.

During our "what do we do with him and THAT" discussion, Dana called out our makeup manager (Daphne) and our head seamstress (Wendy) for having a side conversation. When asked to explain themselves, Wendy answered for the two of them: "The problem is that everyone just assumes he is as he appears as everyone focuses on that." She pointed to his gigantic cock. "But if you can take your eyes off that thing for a few minutes the problem becomes obvious: The rest of Rory is a SHE!"

With that, Rory let out a "YES!" and became much more animated. And her (at that point we all considered Rory a "her") cock rapidly grew to full length and massive hardness. And we all stared in wonder at the WONDER before us as Rory became who she was meant to be: Nicola then Kwanta until lastly Mirren.

And Mirren immediately chose Roxy to be her best friend and, soon thereafter, the lover she had been waiting for.

I'll stop there. I'll miss you by my side every night, dear Roxy, but you have an incredible new wife in Mirren, and one about your same age. We'll keep making love, you and I, and I will always thank you for making me alive again after Jake's death.

As the song goes: "I Will Always Love You!"

(More on Mirren to come.)

#marti #roxy

[tabl3]

elite force incorrect quotes compilation

chase, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

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chase: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. bree: All I drank was Redbull! chase: How many? bree: Eighteen.

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oliver: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. kaz, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

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kaz: You have any sunscreen? skylar: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire— kaz: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

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kaz: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.

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(the saga)

bree: chase? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry? chase: bree, I swear to god—

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oliver: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. chase: oliver: Vroom vroom, come out already.

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skylar: You didn’t cry when bambi’s mother died?! chase, sarcastically: Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

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chase, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

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bree, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! skylar, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. kaz: What the fuck are you guys doing? bree: Playing systemic oppression.

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bree: Hey, oliver. These candies you gave me? They sucked. oliver: But you ate them all. bree: I had to make sure they all sucked.

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skylar: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? chase: I only like dark humor. skylar, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? chase: skylar: An IMPASTA!

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bree: I hate you sometimes. kaz: Well according to this picture chase drew of us holding hands that's not true. bree: kaz, you drew that. kaz: It doesn't matter.

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skylar: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet. bree: Why’d you get banned? skylar: Touched the rat. bree: … What rat? skylar: Chunky Cheese.

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bree: Why is skylar crying on the floor? chase: She took one of those 'which elite force member are you?' quizzes. bree: And? chase: She got oliver.

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oliver: Why are you drinking? kaz: I drink when I'm depressed. oliver: But you're always drinking? kaz: smug grin

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skylar: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project? kaz: Do it or you're straight. skylar: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!

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skylar: heading out to see bree oliver: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! skylar: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

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kaz: skylar has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all she says now. Everything is deez nuts. She simply can't stop. kaz: I asked skylar where she learned that joke. She made me promise she wouldn't get in trouble if she told me. I agreed. kaz: So she leans in and whispers, "deez nuts."

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bree: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. chase: Aw… that's not true. chase: It'd be exactly the same. chase: You're not important.

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kaz, to bree: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up! bree: proceeds to kick him in the shin and run away chase, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call bree cute or small.

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chase, referring to oliver and kaz: Those guys are dorks. skylar: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

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kaz: I think chase is in trouble. oliver: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

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oliver: So anyways have y'all seen chase? bree: I think he went in kaz's room 'studying'. skylar: Doubt that. I heard groans there. Meanwhile in kaz's room chase & kaz, fighting:

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chase: What do we say when life disappoints us? kaz: Called it! chase: No.

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kaz: I may be stupid. bree: … kaz: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

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villain: You’re too late, Superdorks! You'll never stop me now! skylar: That’s where you’re wrong, evildoer! We WILL stop you, with the powers of: chase: Friendship! kaz: Harmony! bree: Incredible violence. oliver: And love!

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chase: out cold on the ground oliver: Oh my god, do you think he's okay?! kaz, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! dumps all of the water on chase’s face

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skylar: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting. kaz: I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold. oliver: I think this message is extremely valid, but also kaz has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth? kaz: I want to set it off.

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oliver: We wouldn’t last two minutes without chase. oliver: oliver: Don’t tell him I said that.

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oliver: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning! chase: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

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kaz: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth. oliver: Why? kaz, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

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bree: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

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kaz: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. skylar: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

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chase: I owe you one. kaz: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

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skylar: Two years ago, I married my best friend. skylar: kaz is still mad about it, but me and chase were drunk and thought it was funny.

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chase: Oh, so you two are getting along very… cordial now? kaz: Cordial? Nah, we're friends. chase: Friends? kaz: Yeah. After you stopped us fighting, we got to talking. Seems like we have some common interests. bree: We both love butterflies. chase: Aww– bree: And beating people up. chase: Oh, okay.

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chase: Everyone synchronise your watches. skylar: I don't know how to do that. oliver: I don't wear a watch. bree: Time is a construct.

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kaz: Are you reading fan fiction? oliver, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. kaz: Oh, is it on AO3? oliver: This is CNN.

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chase: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

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skylar: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t. chase: skylar, please! skylar: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

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chase: How do you do that? kaz: I'm fearless. bree: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. kaz: I'm mostly fearless.

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chase: Come on, skylar. Nobody actually believes that kaz is in love with me. skylar, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that kaz is helplessly in love with chase. Everyone raises their hand chase: kaz, put your hand down.

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skylar: We need to distract these guys. kaz: Leave it to me. kaz: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. chase & bree: immediately begin arguing

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kaz: running towards chase with open arms chase: moves out of the way kaz: Hey, why'd you move?! chase: I thought you were going to attack me. kaz: I was going to hug you! chase: Why would you hug me? kaz: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

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chase: skylar, I think we have a problem. skylar: What, the fire? chase: No, the- wait, what fire? skylar: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

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chase: I called you like ten times! Why didn’t you pick up? oliver: remembers dancing to the ringtone oliver: I didn’t hear it.

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bree: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? oliver: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. kaz: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. chase: Rock also defeats baby.

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oliver: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it. oliver: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

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bree, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? skylar: grabs and chugs the entire bottle skylar: skylar: It's perfume.

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kaz: I want to kiss you. chase, not paying attention: What? kaz: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

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oliver: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. bree: bree: I'm gonna tell him. skylar: Don't you dare.

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oliver: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. kaz: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? oliver: NO-

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oliver: Not to brag, but I can go into the Spirit Halloween without crying.

-

chase: What do people in relationships even do? skylar: Care about someone with your whole heart and dedicate your life to making them happy. chase: Okay. Didn't ask. kaz: Asks question kaz: "Didn't ask" chase: Thanks for the play by play, Captain Fuck.

-

oliver: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. chase: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. kaz: Wasps? bree: Terriers? oliver: bree.

#the sillies #used perchance for it #lab rats #mighty med #lref #elite force #lab rats elite force #disney #chase davenport #bree davenport #kaz #kaz mm #kaz lref #skylar storm #oliver #oliver mm #oliver lref #kase #chaz #brylar

[lithiumseven]

Do you ever just think about Alan Alda with awe?

#Alan Alda #he’s absolutely incredible #and his acting is PHENOMENAL #and he’s had such an incredible life and career #and he loves his wife so much #I just think about him a lot #mash #m*a*s*h #tww #the west Wing #and so many other things #tis i

[databent]

why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on

#.pdf #rd #kd #just a warning these tags are long. like. really incredibly long. i had thoughts. #sorry for the vague ass post i'm just upset about some stupid shit my dad said yesterday. #namely: outright telling me that he doesn't believe i have non-24 (circadian rhythm disorder). #and that even if i do he doesn't believe it's possible for it to actually be a lifelong and disabling condition. #*also: this post isn't meant to imply that disabilities that did have some inciting incident are more accepted or anything. #it's just that i'm frustrated with the “you're disabled? why? what happened?” sentiment a lot of people seem to have. #nothing happened to cause my disability. i'm just like this. no i can't change it. what the fuck do you want me to tell you? #i'd guess it probably has to do with society's focus on work and productivity and career-mindedness above all else. #and when someone comes along that doesn't fit in with the way things are structured it just doesn't compute. #because the idea of people who can't dedicate their entire lives to working is so fundamentally contradictory to their view of... i don't- #-know. meaning in life? fulfillment? that they feel a need to reject the possibility altogether. #this is mainly when dealing with invisible disabilities from what i've seen. because i think there's a tendency to view visibly disabled- #-people as belonging to a different category altogether. which of course is its own issue but i'm not visibly disabled so i don't feel- #-like it's necessarily my place to speak on that. #anyway. i just want my struggles to be acknowledged as real. because they are. and i need people to understand that I Have A Disability. #albeit one many people don't even believe could be real because there's a sort of belief that circadian rhythms are purely a product of- #-external forces like sunlight so “you can't possibly have yours be different and have you tried just going outside more?” sigh. #sorry i also just remembered my dad telling me he doesn't believe i can have something so rare because the chances of having it are too low. #which is some ridiculous logic to me. rare doesn't mean it's impossible. some amount of people have to wind up with it regardless. #i just lucked out i guess. #n24 tag

[miserye]

never would i have thought in a million years that i would get close enough to my boss that he would ask me to house sit for him

#chatterye #this is not incredibly uncommon in our dpt #i would like to stress this #but for me? insane #i think i was chose via process of elimination because i a. have no life (least likely to party out of everyone) and b. don't talk #which are both good for this endeavor #the way i asked no questions i was just like if you can get me there and back sure #whatever you want bossman idc #it was actually so funny but so awkward because we are the most awk ppl ever #n e ways that what i'm doing tmr and maybe seeing some dogs w someone else but isn't that crazy #that someone would get to know me and then trust me enough to sit in their house for them LMFAOOOOO #i'm lwky excited to see his house because like . that is so weird and foreign to me #i'm actually going to bet that he keeps his shoes on in the house i can feel it in my bones i hope not but i bet you #the fact that he literally went on a small hour long trip w me where i practically did not speak and then #went on to see me ditch him for 30 mins during work to grab coffee w my coworker the next day and still decided to ask me LMFAOOOOO #sorry i'm saying so much this is just so funny and surreal to me #now he has to write me the best rec letter of my life and of his career #you'll def see a nervous live tweeting here tmr while i'm over there #also i had the most fulfilling ubereats order in a while and it made me happy #i will never get ppl who don't enjoy burgers you're not better than the rest of us i promise #also i got their deep fried oreos for free and when i tell you those mfs were gas oh my god

[jeezypetes]

I think i would like the green mile (book) more if john coffey didn’t serenely accept his fate and/or the narrator was shattered haunted and suffering for the rest of his magically extended life

#it makes me wanna watch the movie. to see #bc the narrative is so tragic but i think it reeeeeally lets the narrator off the hook. like he feels BAD about killing an innocent man who #had incredible lifesaving magic powers. but not bad enough to risk his career over it. i would like him to realize afterwards that it was #his moral obligation to TRY even if it ruined his life. but instead he’s just kinda bummed and his wife dies at a pretty advanced age #or what if he started thinking about all the other john coffeys he electrocuted. innocent men who deserved better. #I’m not saying horror novel protagonists should be morally correct or thatbad people in fiction need to suffer its just that this seems like #a blindspot for king he really struggles getting away from Nice White Guy and really NARRATIVELY serve women and poc #also i think its nice when a horror protagonist is shattered and haunted and never the same. its good

[mariocki]

Patrick Magee works to apprehend the villains as Parsons, the head of airport security in Dial 999: The Great Gold Robbery (1.4, ABC, 1958)

#patrick magee #fave spotting #dial 999 #the great gold robbery #1958 #classic tv #abc #ok my fave spottings may be wandering away from stars of old brit tv who i know mutuals will get a kick from #but Pat has long been a favourite of mine #this was first ever screen credit (he'd had an uncredited appearance as a police officer in 1956 film The Green Man) but he was already an #experienced stage actor‚ had worked with Harold Pinter and Samuel Beckett‚ and was beginning to be noticed for his work on stage and #radio (that incredible voice would serve him well throughout his career; a few months after this aired he'd be performing in the original #production of Krapp's Last Tape‚ written specifically for him by Beckett because of his voice) #he doesn't have much to do here except provide a little exposition and help to round up the baddies but it's fun to see him so #comparatively young and energetic. the airport in question is presumably Heathrow; it isn't stated in dialogue (and Heathrow was just #London Airport until 1966) but as Gatwick had only just opened when this aired‚ and as it is clearly set in London's inner city‚ it seems #the logical candidate. this ep has good horror pedigree‚ with Magee guesting and being directed by Hammer's Terence Fisher #Fisher made 8 episodes of Dial 999‚ his last work for television (the huge commercial success of the same year's Dracula would #keep him in cinemas for the rest of his life). this episode is also the second in a row (on network's weirdly ordered set anyway; there #this is something like ep 8 or 9 not 4) to feature an uncredited Edwin Apps as a forensic technician who appears to specialise entirely in #hats. like his whole part in both episodes is to examine a hat and provide enough clues to solve the case #hat squad! #that should have been a spin off

[louismygf]

lucky again lyrics

#i love this song. i love it so so much....:( #louis said i can interpret it in anyway i want to so im interpreting it as kind of a love letter to himself #hes saying he was just a regular guy once but he was just lucky once bc of xfuk and his time in 1d #theres this maturity in there where he accepts the criticism people throw at him bc 'he must have incredible luck to get picked'... #bc ''his voice isnt that impressive or that hes not enough'' #he accepts those....‚ but then he says he could be lucky again in his next endeavors. in his solo career #in fitf interviews i've noticed how he keeps saying he's ''lucky enough'' to be making the music he wants to make #to share his music without... really worrying about money or the means to make his own festival or etc #fame (and especially at the level 1d had) can really make you lose your way #louis once ''chased radio'' by following the trends‚ by having those collabs w steve & bebe #not speaking for him but im guessing those songs (or the sound at least of those songs at least) didnt make him fulfilled‚‚ #but now. he figured it out‚ and he made his way back to a life he would choose. #i'm a hard man to find (meaning he lost himself along the way) but HE figured it out and he loves himself for that 😭 <- my interpretation #idk i think it's a self-love song and he's recognizing his own strength by pulling himself out of that darkness/madness #and finding clarity in how he wants to live his life or how to manage his career from now on #he dresses songs up as love songs directed to his partner so well #in this song its probably supposed to be about him & a lover getting back together but for me it feels autobiographical #the superman lyrics are really good too 😔😔😔 #rrghhrgr i just think these lyrics are so good . many layers to them. it's one of the most hopeful in the album :‚) #very curious as to what louis thinks of this song and what sentiments he can share about it #oh god i havent even talked about the first verse🥺 #you give and give until it's gone away. in his relationships‚ in his career‚ in 1d most especially. #i see how hard youve worked to be yourself GOD. this ties in w the negative side comments he keeps getting. way back then (xfuk) & even now #hes. just reassuring himself. it's a feel good song for himself (tbh hearing the song is so uplifting & motivating i love itttt) #YEAH ok enough. again‚‚‚ i. want to hear louis speak ab this song i hope he does somehow....‚ #he accepts he was lucky for being put in a band like 1d but he also accepts and affirms the hard work he's done in his life #and that... he could be lucky again....:) #louis it's just bad luck for now 😭❤️‍🩹 you'll be lucky again !! rest up & gws‚ dont be too hard on urself ily🫶🏽 #also just to be clear those critics r wrong ok sure luck was involved but what really made louis get picked is his perseverance

[ii-zi]

All three of them absolutely abhor working and hate every second they spent resting bc they dread going back to work but they don't even bother hiding how much they HATE me for not going through the same it's literally YOUR DIRECT fault I'm genuinely physically disabled it's not my fault you are lying to yourself about not being so too

#yeah let me get a 40h/w job and end up slowly and tortuously killing myself over the course of a couple months 👍 that'd be good for our #economy #maybe if he got off his stupid high horse and left the job thats killing him for less than 50 dlls a week I wouldn't need to die too??? #like do they think i dropped out of an incredibly redituable career i had a 90+ grade SIX (almost 7) semesters in for fun???? to #fuck w them?? bc i was lazy???? #did u forget the how much u cried when i told u I've wanted to die basically my entire life? lol #only reason im still here its bc life w them is so miserable i refuse to have this being all there ever was for me LOL #mine #vent #personal

[dragonmama76]

Eddie and Steve had a will they/wont they going on for years while Eddie did the whole famous rockstar thing. And now he’s on a break. Two platinum records with Corroded Coffin behind him, Eddie can finally concentrate on Steve. And the miracle is that Steve never resented Eddie for focusing on his career. That wasn’t a problem for him. He waited (sometimes patiently and sometimes not) until it was his turn, and when they got together, it was just as incredible as both had expected it would be.

So you can’t blame Eddie for writing his first solo album all about Steve. He’s done hiding in the closet for his career, so it’s he/him pronouns and filthy imagery. Shockingly it sells like you wouldn’t believe. In fact, he’s getting picked up in markets he never reached before. And when he gets the numbers for radio stations, he’s killing it on stations totally unfamiliar to him. But he’s still completely wrapped up in Steve so he’s not paying a lot of attention and he lets his manager take care of everything.

The mystery is revealed the day they get a package from Wayne. It contains clippings from newspapers and magazines, and a note that just says, “Something you want to tell me, boy?” All the headlines are some variation of “Former Satanist Eddie Munson Releases Worship Album quietly signaling his conversion to Christianity”

Eddie is furious and Steve has to watch him throw a tantrum yelling and screaming. When he eventually calms down Steve reminds Eddie that doing zero press and releasing songs like, “On My Knees in Worship” and “He is my Sunrise and my Salvation” might in fact be a little misleading.

They spend the rest of the night giggling about all the good Christians listening to songs about their sex life.

#steddie #Eddie Munson #solo album

[verstarppen]

omfg i love your fics they’re so funny 😭😭 i had an idea for a max fic that i think you would do so well 🫶 so like she’s his teammate and she has a bf (no idea who but prob another athlete or something since they tend to kinda be fboys 👀 but not another driver please because those dynamics make me cringe in second hand embarrassment 🙏) then he like cheats on her publicly, but she decides to live in idgafistan and max helps her make her ex jealous 😝 but he’s like actually been into her for a really long time and everyone ships them and stuff and then he bags her with his irresistible chronically offline awkward white boy rizz 💋

summary; cheaters deserve to get cheated out of their career, or at least that's how max justifies destroying your ex's life

pairing; max verstappen x fem! red bull driver! reader [ no faceclaim ]

warnings; suggestive language, swearing

a/n; DISCLAIMER the boyfriend is made up and also a sims 2 reference, if by chance there is a real tennis player by the name of Dominic Lothario im so sorry sir this was not written with you in mind ALSO this is my VERY sneaky way of telling everyone my favorite song is trophäe by paula carolina so naturally i had to shove the word trophy everywhere to justify using lyrics as the title I HOPE I DID YOUR PROMPT JUSTICE also i skipped over singapore because we don't talk about singapore

liked by ynln7, charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 2,104,962 others

maxverstappen1 The only time I've cheated.

view all 798,301 comments

feeltheorange WHAT DID HE SAYYYY

meepshoemaker the double take i just did cracked my neck

yukinator22 NAHHHHHHHHH

albogeant BRO DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HER TIME TO RECOVER LMAOOOOOOOO

ynln7 everyone has permission to laugh i came up with the caption

pierregasly Thank god charles_leclerc I'm going to hell I laughed before I saw your comment pierregasly Me too ynln7 assholes (affectionately)

liked by christianhorner, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 4,592,577 others

ynln7 anyway

view all 909,289 comments

christianhorner This is not the team bonding I was talking about

charles_leclerc Shut up, some of us have waited years for this pierregasly Seconded danielricciardo Third...ed?

simplyclerc LET HIM COOK

lionkingseb max verstapprizz

mcmango he saw an opportunity and he took it

redbullpapaya i manifested this with magic beyond the human comprehension

liked by maxverstappen1, ynln7, christianhorner and 2,102,094 others

redbullracing An immaculate performance today from @ maxvestappen1 and @ ynln7 that’s a 6th Constructors’ Championship for the team!! 🏆 CONGRATULATIONS, WORLD CHAMPIONS!!

view all 869,291 comments

super_max they know they ate

staraikkonen the blueprint for all powercouples

shadownorris LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO

angelricciardo talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference

dominic_lothario 👎

redbullracing Shouldn't you be looking for a job? What are you doing in our comments.

kirbyvettel MAXY/N SWEEP

maxverstappen1 The trophy is not my only win this week @ ynln7

ynln7 ok now let me pass you maxverstappen1 No 🧡 You're pretty in p2

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, christianhorner and 693,420 others

ynln7 celebrating the win the RIGHT way (playing f1 2023)

view all 108,003 comments

easportsf1 Amen

ynln7 LMAO

maxverstappen1 I let you win

ynln7 bruised ego alert

christianhorner Such a RESPONSIBLE team, aren't we?

orangleclerc THE T-SHIRT

strawberryrosberg Did they turn down the afterparty invite for this because mad respect

charles_leclerc Tell me your record, I'll beat it

ynln7 in your dreams, leclerc maxverstappen1 Beat us in real life first charles_leclerc First of all.

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

#max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #f1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #instagram au #social media au #max verstappen au

[vivwritesfics]

Sweat, Baby, Sweat - MV1

Singapore is hot, incredibly hot. So, what do you do when you sweat through your shirt? You borrow your simp of a teammates shirt.

Max Verstappen x RB Driver!Reader

1.6K

Masterlist

Singapore was Y/Ns favourite track. It was taxing, but it was her favourite. High adrenaline and incredible heat. Anything could happen out there on the track.

If anywhere was going to end Red Bulls reign of dominance, it was Singapore. Y/N L/N and Max Verstappen had worked together, teammates in harmony, to keep the winning streak going.

On the rare instance Max wasn't on the podium, Y/N was in his place. More often than not they shared the podium, spraying the champagne with the biggest grins on their faces.

Only twice that year Y/N had gone out in Q2, not making it to Q3. When that happened, she couldn't face Christian, couldn't look at Max. Nobody was a bigger critic of Y/N than Y/N herself.

Singapore was hot, hot, hot.

As Max and Y/N did those little press videos (for the life of me I can't remember what they're called SOMEONE HELP PLS) Y/N was sweating. Several times while they filmed, she was pulling her shirt away from her neck, trying to get at least a little bit of air.

Sweat beaded on her forehead. She had long since taken off her Red Bull hat, too hot for that extra fabric on her head.

The press video was hard to get through. Y/N had gotten through at least three bottles of water before they finally finished. While they filmed, Max kept looking at her, frown on his face. Clearly, he was concerned.

Actually, all of the Red Bull team was concerned, but none more than him.

As soon as they'd finished filming, Y/N ran off to the bathroom. She did her business, splashed some water on her face and smelt the inside of her shirt.

It wasn't pleasant. The Red Bull shirt was such dark colours, no wonder Y/N was having trouble. She'd have to change before she and Max got on with the next round of press.

Y/N rushed off away from the press and the cameras. She ran by a concerned Max, who tried to grab her by the arm, and past the Red Bull team. "I'll be back in ten minutes," she said to Christian as she ran past.

Y/N made her way back to her hotel room. It wasn't too far away from the track, and she had almost all of her friends (aka, the other drivers) on the same floor as her.

When Y/N first started in F1, driving for Toro Rosso, there was a mixed response from fans. At that point, the fans were mostly older men and their sons. Their reactions were a mix of sexualising her and slut shaming her. Most had fears that she'd distract the rest of the grid by sleeping with them all before every race.

But the F1 Fans had grown used to her. And they loved her. They loved her as much as they loved Carlos and Pierre and Magnussen. They loved her as much as they loved every other driver on the grid.

Once in her hotel room, Y/N got changed into another Red Bull shirt. She didn't have many left, certainly not enough for the next three days of the grand prix (if things were keeping up the way they were).

After getting changed Y/N quickly checked her phone. Messages from Max and Christian, her manager reminding her of the next bit of press she had to do and her parents wishing her luck on the qualifying.

By the time Y/N got down to complete the press interview, she was already sweating. Anxiety bubbled up in side of her. What if she smelt bad? What if the cameras picked up on her pit stains?

Before the interview started, Max nudged her with his elbow. "Is everything okay?" He asked her, keeping his eyes trained forward.

Max had always been considerate when it came to Y/N. He knew what she had been through at the start of her career, the things she had to deal with from the fans. He was more aware than anybody that it was still going on. If Y/N was caught having fun with any of the drivers, they'd ridicule her online.

"Yeah, Max, I'm fine."

Y/N made it through the day in that shirt. She went to bed that night in only her underwear to try and keep cool.

By breakfast that morning she had already begun to sweat. Not through her shirt, not yet. She made it to lunch before she had to get changed.

Before the qualifying, Max pulled her to one side. Out of the prying eyes of any camera, Max grabbed her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. Once again, she wasn't wearing her hat, making it easier for him.

"Something is going on with you. You keep disappearing," he said to her, not loosening his grip. And he wouldn't until she told him what was going on.

Y/N shook her head. "I'm okay, Max, really."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"Just tell me!"

Letting out a sigh, Y/N looked up at him and pulled his hat from his head. She placed it on her own and smiled. "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

"It's just you."

Max's flirting had been really subtle since Y/N became his teammate. He hadn't wanted to toe the line, didn't want to receive the repercussions of trying to date his teammate.

Qualifying was horrible. Y/N swore in all the years before it had never been this bad. The heat was distracting and she was out in Q2, taken out by Lance fucking Stroll.

Y/N was fuming. There was only one person who could comfort her. And he was currently driving around the circuit with the fastest lap.

Y/N's post qualifying interview was short. She answered every question with one word answers, her face like a slapped ass. As soon as the interview was over she was off to her drivers room to sulk.

She was only granted two minutes to herself before there was a knock on the door. Christian didn't wait for an answer before he walked in. "How are you doing?" He asked her, leaning against the door.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. It was far too hot to think.

"Well, whatever it is, have it sorted by tomorrow," he continued. "And, come and celebrate with your teammate."

The next day went much the same. Y/N sweated through breakfast and, by the time she got to lunch, she was having to change her shirt.

But there was one problem. She didn't have any shirts she hadn't already sweated through.

With nothing else to do, Y/N tucked her hands into her armpits and walked towards her boss. "Christian," she muttered almost timidly. It wasn't like Y/N to be timid. There wasn't room for it, with her being a woman in the sport.

She took him into her drivers room and made an embarrassing confession. She couldn't look Christian in the face as she told him how much she had been struggling in the heat and that she had no more shirts left.

Christian pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "Well, I know for a fact Max has another shirt. I'll go and grab it for you," he said, sparing her the embarrassment of telling somebody else.

When Christian returned with a shirt for Y/N she was quick to change. She put on some more deodorant and pulled Max's shirt over her head. Lifting the collar to her nose she breathed in. Max. It smelled of Max. It smelled amazing.

When she walked out of her drivers room, there were stares. She wasn't much aware of the stares she was getting, her eyes searching for one person and one person only.

Max didn't know what to do when he saw her. The shirt was slightly too big, hanging down to her thighs. It was oversized on her, the short sleeves almost at her elbows. Wow. That was all Max could think. Just wow.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. He watched as she lifted the collar of the shirt to her nose and smelt it yet again. His heart fluttered. Wow. Just wow.

Y/N turned around and spotted Max hidden behind a team of engineers. She wove her way around the engineers, approaching him. "Thanks for the shirt," she said with a smile.

Max didn't know how to respond. He kept staring at herm unable to take his eyes off of her. It was struggle before she was wearing his clothes, but now Max didn't stand a chance.

When Y/N took his hat from her head, he finally looked at her face. "It suits you," he managed to say. She was irresistible. It was almost too much for him.

No, it was too much for him.

"Fuck it," Max whispered under his breath. He placed his hands on her hip, catching Y/N off guard. Max wasted in time in leaning in. He pressed is lips to hers in a somewhat awkward kiss.

But it didn't take Y/N long to get with the programme. She pulled the hat from her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. Closing her eyes she deepened things, leaning into him.

When she finally pulled away, Max couldn't stop staring at her.

"I've wanted to do that since we became teammates," he whispered, taking the hat from Y/N and placing it on his head.

"What stopped you?"

#max verstappen #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x female reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen smut #max verstappen x reader smut #max verstappen fluff #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula one #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 #mv1 #mv1 imagine #mv1 smut #mv1 x reader