#and he was mad bc i 'won't ever settle for someone like me who's settled in life' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catboii · 5 months

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((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

#ooc post.#.vat file #rl illness ment-#rl death ment-#readmore.#I think I'm ok for now. I'm sorry about the stuff mentioned at the top but I'm not sorry this post is so long. for once.#you don't have to read it. but if you do? then hey. thanks. we're besties now.#I had a little rant about him and it's cathartic but I'm trying not to break down tbh #I think just expressing how much I loved him helps. he was just. so pure and wholesome in reality.#always showing how much he appreciated people...

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ihatebnha · 3 years

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Bakugo seems the type to stay on a strict diet but gets mad when you do the same bc he vicariously lives through you and needs you to eat cake bc he won't

You don't understand how much I love this, oh my god. The freaking head you have on your shoulders, legend, I swear...

It's actually funny you send this, though... because I just saw someone in the tags talking about how Bakugo probably wouldn't want a partner that doesn't eat and exercise the same as him... and I was genuinely like... that is the stupidest, most incorrect take I have ever heard in my life ever (I'm sorry to this person because they actually follow me LOL, but what I mean is that they, and EVERYONE, has higher chances w/ Bakugo than they might think). I honestly don't think Bakugo would notice weight on anyone besides him. He's THAT big headed and I love it.

Anyway, the Bakugo that person was talking about is NOT my baby. MY Bakugo makes sure you eat what you want to eat and doesn't care whether or not you go to the gym with him. In fact, he probably gets pissed at you when you try because he think you'll just get in his way. It's... kinda mean but it's just cuz he has a pro hero workout that only a pro hero can do, and it needs all focus. Go wait for him in the steam room and he'll meet you there after. Your job is to hold the gatorade and to hold the gatorade ONLY (and to cheer him on). I ❤️ Bakugo x his spoiled wife who he accidentally turns lazy... and one day we should talk about it.

(warning: body image is discussed but it's about bakugo not you... mild feeder vibes, eating)

Bakugo was so intimidating when you first started dating... so intimidating, in fact, that if it weren't for the sheer tenacity he approached you with, and how adamant he was that you went out with him the moment he got to know you, you're absolutely sure you wouldn't have bagged him otherwise.

I mean, his pro-hero status aside, look at him: at least 6' feet of pure and toned muscle and sinew, pretty, tan skin and abs of rock-hard steel; even his his handsome jawline and scowl could cut you... so it wouldn't surprise you in the least if you were to find out one day that there wasn't ounce of fat on his body in any way, shape, or form.

That's the way he likes it, the way he intends to keep it (at least, during the height of his career. In the rare instances when you pillow talk, he's mentioned that he doesn't care what happens to him when he settles down and retires)... and yet, it seems, despite all his diet food, the weird times in which he eats, and how often he insists he absolutely cannot have a cheat day... he refuses for that to be the same for you.

Bakugo knows, HE KNOWS, his eating habits are impractical; unhealthy for anyone who isn't a Pro and doesn't follow the same schedule and work-outs that he does... besides, it's not like he enjoys missing out on Kirishima's pizza nights (that guy needs the carbs) or the fun teacakes that Ochaco brings into the office on holidays... so to put his poor, unsupposing romantic partner (who already has to deal with him being a workaholic) through the same thing? It's hard for him to even ponder.

(Like I truly believe Bakugo's sense of romance is... both traditional as hell and straight out of the movies. Men are supposed to be good to their romantic partners, buy them treats, make them feel good, and it's because he's shit at words that these acts of service, these gifts, are so important to him. He wants to be perfect, and that includes being a perfect boyfriend.)

Besides, he doesn't have all this knowledge on baking and cooking so as not to use it (and you’re right: seeing you eat it, hearing you praise him for it is just as good as trying it himself).

He doesn't have pastries handed to him on the daily by the people he's saved, much less sees them in the window of bakeries he passes, so as not to bring them home to you, either... and whenever there are treats at the office, despite not having them himself, YES, he is absolutely bringing like ten of them home for you.

Bakugo's the guy who orders the prettiest slice of cake at the restaurant just because you (Y-O-U) said it looked good... and then pretends that he didn't and tries to make you eat it. I just don't understand how anyone could think otherwise.

Also, Bakugo who buys snacks just to take one humongous bite out of them and then give the rest to you. His cheat days just consist of eating off your plate. Sharing your fork. Good grief.

#bakugou x reader #bakugo thoughts #bakugo #idk what the tell this is but ur so right #i hope this answer is entertaining to you!#thats me doing my best not to apologize #but i felt like u expressed the thought better in... one single sentence than i ever could LOL #i have a fun bakugo ask in my box rn abt bakugo not liking his wife doing work #its different from this but it embodies the same energy #ask #f for fucktoria #charlotteofwales #caitie post #body image tw #feederism tw

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foxymoxynoona · 3 years

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Kay I didn't clarify but in the light of your recent post here, I feel like I should.

I'm mad at Isabella because of how she treated Jungkook, not necessarily bc she stopped her orgasm (which, yes, i guess is weird to me, but I won't pretend like I can ever empathize with her fully bc i haven't gone through anything like what she has, so yeah.)

But the way her mind works ?? How in the world can one take someone's words (someone who's tried their best to be nothing but canring and understanding for quite a while now) and twist them so much in their head that they sound so negative when they're actually the opposite...

And asking him to leave the room??? Treating the bj situation like it was a joB he expected her to do or smth?? I know i'm paraphrasing but it legit felt like, 'Okay you came, i did my part, why do you bother me now?' - that's just rude imo. Dismissing his efforts and feelings like that.. He's actually TRYING way more than before to TALK to her and understand her and she just.. ???

She just projected the anger she felt toward her own insecurities on him. And that's not fair.

Yeah, that's why I'm mad.

-👀(currently feeling more like: 😑)

I'm glad you said more! I think it's totally worth talking about JK's experience in this, sure! I am actually really happy for you if your mind has never done the mental gymnastics to make something neutral or positive into a negative, I mean that sincerely! I think it's a pretty common trauma response, because you get used to everything being a threat even if it sounds nice --remember she's had two shitty abusive exes by this point, who I'm sure smiled plenty as they said things she took at face value only to be very wrong.

I also don't know about you, but I'm not usually at my best to talk about painful or unsettling emotions when I'm already overwhelmed. I can see why you would find it off-putting she asked him to leave the room, but I think that one's a different in how people process emotion. Some people want someone close for comfort, others want to be able to retreat.

Is is specifically when she accused him of bullying her that you're talking about? Because she said that right after she admitted something that made her feel very vulnerable "You got me really close really fast and it kind of freaked me out because I’m not used to that. I told you the truth, I don’t orgasm a lot." You'll see this pattern a lot with her. A beautiful but tragic part of Isabella's journey right now is that she does still want that connection, she's still clinging to the hope that things with JK can be different than anything she's had in the past. But as soon as she takes a step in that direction, experience tries to push her down again, and she reacts.

As for the blowjob, you bet she saw that as transactional! Multiple times in this story she has offered bjs as thank yous, and here she kind of offered it as an apology for disrupting sex. And she hoped that would satisfy him and be the end of it. It's probably not the first time she's tried to settle perceived upset/anger with sex. Instead of "why are you still bothering me?" (which honestly I just don't see), try thinking of it as "what else do you want from me?" It's a nuanced response, because it could sound exasperated but also sad. She let him cum, she did the thing, didn't she? Men just want to cum? Isn't he happy with her now? These are the rules she learned sex by.

Also, just to equalize a little, JK did snap at her a couple times here. He also pushed her to talk about multiple things after she'd asked him not to push those things right now. She is within her right to say she doesn't want to talk about something traumatic right now and ask him to drop it and they can talk about it later. We know his intentions are good, and totally valid to say maybe they shouldn't have had sex until they had more communication and trust in place! He's in solver mentality, but this isn't something JK can "solve," though creating a loving and secure and safe space for her will definitely help her.

"She just projected the anger she felt toward her own insecurities on him. And that's not fair." This is a good note too, and also a very relatable one for most of us, and believe it or not, as long as it doesn't become habit and take over, it's a sign of growth. Do you know why kids behave more terribly for their moms than anyone? Because it's the first relationship they feel safe to push boundaries and act out in, because they feel that the love is unconditional. If you read the things she says in this chapter through the lens of "there is no one in Isabella's life who has ever truly been there for her except her late father", it gets really sad, really fast. But she is saying actually a lot to JK about her fears and insecurities here. She's setting boundaries and hoping he'll actually respect them. We definitely aren't to a healthy, happy place, but there's a lot of development here beneath the surface! And, just as importantly, JK has learned to recognize her defensive outbursts for what they are. So he doesn't see a woman being cruel to him, he sees a scared child having a tantrum (forgive the analogy of a toddler, but I hope you understand what I mean.) It's not something you want to be a permanent habit, but him not letting that "end his love" immediately... that's starting to look like unconditional love to Isabella.

OK OK this was long sorry! Feel free to send me further thoughts! <3

#👀anon #amended #asks

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