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calliecat93 · 3 years

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When I started TNG, the biggest curiosity I had was why Dr. Pulaski was so hated. I heard plenty about why, but at the same time I wanted to see for myself and be able to draw my own conclusions. Well now that I’ve finished S2, I think that I can safely state my opinion and the reasons why she had such a bad reception.

My general opinion is… Pulaski’s fine, but she got an bad start. She’s a very competent doctor who is devoted to her duty. She’s a bit of a smartass, but otherwise a friendly enough person. She’s a VERY much based off a certain CMO form a certain other Star Trek show that came out before this one, but we’ll get to that later. Pulaski honestly had a lot working against her and she just wasn’t able to get over them despite her actress Diana Muldaur (who played Miranda Jones in TOS) doing an excelent acting job. It ultimately ended with Pulaski being dropped all together and Crusher returning in Season 3.

While I understand the hate against Pulaski and can’t say that it’s unwarranted to an extent, I think that a lot of it that I saw was overblown. Now if people disliked the character, that’s fine. Everyone has different tastes and reasons for what they like and dislike and should be free to have and express those thoughts. But a lot of the issues with her that I had were taken care of very early on and she became much better by the end of her tenure. So why do I believe that Pulaski ultimately failed? Well I’ve come up with three explanations based off my own observations from watching the show and what I got from fandom consensus. Now this is all my opinion based on those observations and is not objective fact whatsoever, so take this with a grain of salt. So I believe the reasons that Pulaski failed are:

#1. She Is Essentially a Female Dr. McCoy… Sort Of: Pulaski was clearly heavily based on Dr. McCoy from TOS. She’s an middle-aged, somewhat world-weary doctor. She’s stubborn, grumpy, and doesn’t put up with anyone’s crap. She’s witty and always ready with a biting comment. She has the dedication to her job. She has the bantery relationship with the Science Officer, which we’ll go into that here soon. She is a doctor before she is an officer and that will always be her top priority, even at great risk to herself. She has a zero tolerance towards authority and isn’t afraid to talk back to anyone no matter how much they outrank her. She even outright has a hatred of teleporters that McCoy had. The parallels are all there. It may be why I’m a bit more lenient on her since McCoy is very much my favorite character in TOS and so far all of ST. But I think it is very much the root of the problem.

While Pulaski has several of McCoy’s traits, I think the writers really only understood McCoy on a surface level. They forget to include his compassion, his empathy, his humanism, his loyalty to the captain even when he opposes his actions, all of the things that make McCoy… well, McCoy. I don’t even know if the pacifism is there. Also McCoy had over 70 episodes of TOS and at that point five films (Undiscovered Country hadn’t been made yet). Pulaski had about 20 episodes and her relevance depended on the episode. McCoy had that as well, but he also had more material so we had FAR more time to get to know him. Pulaski didn’t get to have the time to gain that depth or care from the audience. Like… can I imagine Pulaski hypoing someone so that she can be tortured in their stead and it have the same impact that The Empath did? Can I see her counseling and assuring Picard if he’s having doubts like McCoy did for Kirk in The Ultimate Computer (okay tbf that would be Troi’s job but still)? Could I imagine any of the main cast being crushed about Pulaski dying of a terminal illness and choosing to stay on essentially a doomed spaceship with someone she just met and feel as gutted as I did in For the World is Hollow…? Honestly… given time maybe but in the end no. Now could I imagine McCoy risking getting an aging illness to possibly cure a child and others of it ala Unnatural Selection? Yes, albiet I think he’d be smart enough to bring protective equipment with him to be safe. Could I imagine McCoy telling someone like Data they’d be wrong to sit by a woman giving birth because he wasn’t human ala The Child? Hell no. Maybe he would if he was worried it would cause potential distress the one giving birth, but it sure as hell wouldn’t be because they’re an android. But I could imagine that someone who just saw McCoy as ‘grumpy doctor with a bad bedside manner who says witty lines and argues with the logical Vulcan character’ would get that interpretation. Thus why I think that Pulaski may have ended up how she did.

Now mind you I do think it IS a double standard to excuse McCoy’s dickish momemts and flaws, but demonize Pulaski for her’s. It’s like saying a man can be that way because it’s just expected of them and they can be forgiven, but a woman doing so or being assertice is wrong and they are horrible and unforgivable for having these traits or having flaws even if they correct them. That being said I do think that it’s more than that and it all comes down to the fact that TOS and TNG are two different shows with different character dynamics and ways of doing things. TOS mainly followed a Triumvirate (for the most part but that’s a different post entirely), TNG is much more of an ensemble. Pulaski didn’t have a Kirk nor a Spock to bounce off of or either let her traits shine or be kept in check like McCoy did nor did she really develop any unique relations for herself aside from maybe with Troi. We hear about her empathy and humanitarianism, but we don’t really see it on-screen like we did with McCoy. She has his surface level traits, not the deeper ones that the Triumvirate dynamic along his doctor position allowed him to showcase. In other words, Pulaski was put in a series that wasn’t designed for her while McCoy was exactly where he needed to be in order to thrive. It really speaks to how much the TNG writers didn’t really seem to get McCoy or why and how his character worked, which is strange since they got him right when he showed up in the series premiere. But maybe that was due to DeForest Kelley and him absolutely knowing the character he’d played for so long. But yeah they tried to replicate McCoy, and it just didn’t work with TNG’s already established character dynamics nor did they fully get the character that they were trying to recreate. If I want McCoy, I’ll go watch TOS or AOS. I didn’t need Pulaski for that.

#2. Data and Misconstrued Character Dynamics; This is in relation to the first reason and REALLY shows how much the writers didn’t think the dynamics through. We all know how much Spock and McCoy bantered. How they are opposite ends of the spectrum and how their perspective points helped Kirk in making his decisions. Well clealry they wanted to re-create that with Pulaski and Data. Makes sense, Pulaski represents the humanism and Data the logical. But there’s one big, BIG problem with that: Data is NOT Spock. A lot fo people have pointed this out, but here’s the thing about Spock. Despite whatever he may have said, Spock DID have emotions. He kept them suppressed due to the issues in his upbringing and that wasn’t necessarily healthy, but he did have them. And despite speaking in a calm manner, he was also an utter sass bucket, could be rude, and had no issue putting down humanity if he had a point to make. He and McCoy were very much equal in their bantering and yes maybe McCoy could go too far with his insults, but there was always an equal balance and Spock was also perfectly capable of starting/escalating their spats. There were also plenty of moments to show that in spite of it, they were still friends and cared a great deal about each other with probably the best examples of this being The Immunity Syndrome, Bread and Circuses, The Empath, and plenty of moments in others like Miri and For the World is Hollow… Those who have been following me know how much I love the Spock/McCoy dynamic and I could go all day, but the point is it’s a complex relationship that may seem like disdain on the outside, but is so much more when you examine it up close.

Data however? Data is intelligent and the Science Officer with a calm demeanor, but that’s about where the similarity between him and Spock ends. Data is an android. I do not believe that he is emotionless, he just has a different wiring that causes him to feel things differently. He’s never shown disdain towards humanity at least from what I’ve observed thus far. If anything, he actively seeks to understand it and emotions more. He actively has hobbies like Sherlock Holmes. He tries things like sneezing and growing a beard in an effort to understand more. Data is more or less a child with a child-like understanding of things and he doesn’t really understand social cues or things like humor, but he DOES have emotions and feelings. There’s too much on-screen evidence to say otherwise. He just has his own way of processing it. This is what makes Pulaski look so bad. When she calls Data a machine, says he can’t understand, and even purposefully mispronounces his name, she comes across as an outright bully. She is essentially bullying a neurodivergent child. Do I need to explain why that’s awful? Data, while by no means a doormat, isn’t the type to sass back or make any biting comments back like Spock would. There is no balance. There is no equal footing. There are not enough positive interactions outside the banter to show that there is something deeper there at the end of the day like Spock and McCoy did. Heck you can even compare how Pulaski and McCoy talk to Data via McCoy’s guest appearance in Encounter at Farpoint. He DOES make a quip about Vulcans when talking to Data and when Data points out he’s an android not a Vulcan, McCoy mumbles “Just as bad.” But immediately after he gives Data genuine heartfelt advice on treating the Enterprise with care. It’s clear that ultimately it’s McCoy being his usual grumpy self who’d be acting the same way towards anyone else and is otherwise perfectly civil and encouraging to Data. We’ve known him long enough to know this. Pulaski didn’t have that luxury, coming off as condescending towards Data at best and considering that she’s a doctor, it looks especially bad.

Now to be fair this only lasts for about four episodes. Pulaski does start catching herself by her second episode, and stops completely after Unnatural Selection when Data helps her and stays with her after she gets the aging virus. After that she’s MUCH moe civil to him, even defending his choice going against the Prime Directive in Pen Pals and was at his retirement party in The Measure of a Man. But clearly the damage had been done. Data is a very beloved character and by Oulaski’s intro had already been established and well-liked character. Data was treated equally and was valued as far more than just an android among the rest of the crew, Crusher included, so Pulaski coming in a season later and acting that way also didn’t help. The writers did not think through why Spock and McCoy worked and how to try figure out a unique dynamic for Pulaski and Data. Instead they just tried to copy TOS, and it utterly failed. It ruined Pulaski’s chances before she could even really start running. But I do believe that she could have rebounded and as I said, she DID get past it. She did relapse some at the end of the season in Peak Performance to the point I wanna say that maybe it chronologically happened earlier in the season, but even then she felt realized her screw up and apologized. It’s still an improvement from early on. But things just weren’t meant to be, which leads is to…

#3. She Only Lasted One Season/She Replaced Dr. Crusher: I believe that the biggest thing that worked against Pulaski is simple: she was cut after Season 2. Pulaski was created when Gates MacFadden left the show. I’ve seen conflicting reasons as to why, but regardless she left and a CMO was needed. IDK how popular Crusher was, but I had really enjoyed her. She was essentially the mom of the ship which added something different from TOS (wel McCoy was also the mom lets be real XD), had a son onboard which also added something new, was very much capable and devoted to her job, and was a badass when she got to use a phaser. Her being written out sucked, but that’s not necessarily a reason to hate Pulaski. But as I highlighted above, she just didn’t work. They tried to make McCoy, but without the dynamics and depth that let McCoy flourish. TNG is not TOS. Whenever TNG tried replicating TOS like with The Naked Now? It blew up in their faces. The key to a spinoff or reboot is to keep certain themes and tone alive, but to not just replicate what came before. TNG flourished when it began to find it’s own footing, and ultimately lasted four seasons longer than it’s predecessor due to it.

I genuinely believe that Pulaski COULD have developed into her own character and could have found her place the same way that McCoy did. But alas that didn’t happen. People wanted Crusher back, so they managed to get MacFadden to return and thus Crusher was put back in her rightful place. Because of it, Pulaski was just forgotten about. She didn’t get the chance to form her own character. She didn’t the chance to develop further and leave her early days behind. Why? Because she simply wasn’t given the opprotunity to do so. I can’t say it was the wrong choice, but it’s an utter shame because I do believe that Pulaski was on her way to improving. But it was too late. Her bad start with Data, her character not working in the TNG dynamic, and her replacing an already perfectly likeable character who did fit the dynamics all amounted to the character’s abrupt end. And because she didn’t get the chance to develop further and find her own path, her bad reputation has stuck to this very day.

In the end, the whole thing just feels like a waste. Pulaski had potential, but it just didn’t work in the end. I can’t say that I hate her. If anything, I feel bad for her. The writers failed her at the end of the day and by the time they tried correcting their errors, the audience had already made their judgement. It may have been for the best to just drop her and bring Crusher back, but I also hate seeing character potential just so utterly wasted. I hope that if any side material used Pulaski, they were able to find a much better direction for her. I can’t say that I love Pulaski. In a more TOS-like setting maybe she’d have worked better. But in the end I think that Pulaski was a decent character who just had too much working against her and they caused her to crash and burn. Just an unfortunate case all in all.

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#this is all mainly opinion so feel free to ig kre

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

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burnt snake primary + bird secondary [model?]

Hi! I have been aware of the Sorting system for a long time now but I always get stuck in typing myself. I was wondring if you could shed some light on the process.

If we go by what I score at the test, it's usually a tie between Snake and Lion primary (most likely Bird last) and Bird/Badger secondary (most likely Lion last).

Internal primary / Built secondary, I can work with that.

If we go by the "favorite characters" test then most of them are Snake primary and/or Bird secondary. I also have found that Lion doesn't exactly mess well with me, most character with a Lion anything get on my nerves but that's not a constant.

Fictional lions can be exaggerated in a way that works as a power fantasy for real lions... but I’m mostly just interested to see if the ‘favorite character’ test works out.

I've also come to realise in real life that i absolutely hate deception or betrayal especially if it comes from someone I trust/close to me.

I mean... is there anyone who is like ‘yes, I’m totally cool with people I trust betraying me.’

I also have an issue with loyalty and honesty both so I can understand why Snake/Lion is tied for my primary. My issue with Snakes is that I don't think I have this "no matter what" support. I bond with people a lot but if they don't treat me right I will push back, I will cry, I will tell them off

Snakes might have more trouble than Lions when it comes to breaking with people who mistreat them... and they might feel more conflicted and “sticky” afterwards, since being loyal to people is the base of their morality. But they will absolutely do it.

Think about a Lion changing their mind versus a Bird changing their mind. They both *do* it, but since a Bird has access to all the levels of their system, it’s all very consciously constructed, and they’re used to poking at it - change isn’t usually *that* big of a deal.

But I’m a Lion. If I’m going to change my mind, I need to smacked over my head with the lesson, usually multiple times (although I’m getting better about that...) I’m going to have a mini existential crisis (those things clear out the cobwebs.) And then I’ll be emotionally recalibrated. Snakes are internal primaries just like Lion, so their process is more like that. Dropping people is hard and emotional and sticky, but when they are dropped they are dropped. Badgers, since their *reasons* for whether or not they are responsible for someone are much clearer and more accessible, have an easier time writing people off.

if I don't get the level of intense I'm looking for I will translate that as "not caring enough" and I'll break up or if that's not possible for whatever reason i'll be miserable.

You certainly want to get Snake loyalty directed at you, and if you don’t get it, you’re miserable. And the fact that something like that would make you miserable... is making me think Snake. This is very Snake-flavored angst.

A huge sourse of pain in my life had been some things that happened with my father that I translated as him probably loving himself more than me. I always see that Snakes stay loyal to their close ones no matter what and I'm like: why would I stay unwavering to someone that hurts me?

You wouldn’t. You shouldn’t. No one should.

I didn't abandon my dad when he was sick but I'm pretty sure I was Burned and resnting him 24/7 (sorry for the heavy stuff).

Being a caregiver is INCREDIBLY hard (there’s a reason you can hire people to do it, and they’re payed so well.) Being a caregiver to a family member is even harder, and being a caregiver to a family member who’s hurt you is probably one of the hardest things a human being can do. It’s really, really not unusual at all to resent the sick person, and you should not feel guilty about it.

You also mention that Snakes understand other Snakes when they put their loved ones first and maybe in real life I do it but I have a huge example of me watching a Snake primary character not cutting off his love interest when she was awful to him from my perspective (emotional manipulation, choosing others before him, rejecting him, generally not loving him) and being LIVID about it.

I guess what I would say to you... is that even though the other primaries show their love differently, it does not mean they love any less intensely. A Badger choosing someone in need instead of you does not mean they are *not* loving you.

Generally I tend to prefer couples that have things in common and two Snake primaries together will most likely be my favorites, most of my ships are like that.

There is something very attractive about two Snakes in a relationship together, but remember that all these different primaries and secondaries do balance each other out. I tend to think that *exact* house matches make unfortunate romantic pairings. They re-enforce each other’s negative traits, get too extreme, and sometimes get stuck because they’ve only got the one way to approach, and solve a problem.

I have been very adamant about my friends not giving manipulative people the 'get go' to do whatever they want with them because I can see the indiference and the manipulation.

Manipulation is a problem solving strategy, indifference is a motive. They’re not the same thing.

I get mad when they don't listen to me eventhough I turn out to be right. Most of the times I have cut off people from my life is the reason I said preiously, that I don't think they give as much support as I do to them and they end up after a point on my "I don't need you in my life anymore" list.

I’m starting to think you’re a Burnt Snake. You are clearly Snake, and you want to distribute Snake loyalty to the people around you. But it doesn’t feel safe (probably because of baggage left over from your dad - he hurt you, so you’re scared that they will too.) So you’re hyper sensitive to anything that doesn’t feel like the most extreme devotion. And just like a Burnt Badger rejecting people preemptively, before they have a chance to fail them... you’re rejecting people because it hurts less than them rejecting you.

I think Lion gets up high because I can understand the need for following a 'cause' but in my case it's not exactly a moral cause, it's simply that I always wanted to be an actress and generally expand my knowledge on cinema/TV/theatre so I studied it. I wanted to be succesful in my job and get better and better and better. I am interested in prizes but only if they come as a recognition of my skillset (if that makes sense). I always thought that people were my priority even though the goal of achieving my dreams was always guiding me but as I grow older I'm not so sure anymore. I just know I couldn't be walking through life all alone.

This sounds like a Snake with no people (who wants people.) Without people, Snakes take care of themselves, and that often look likes job, money, prizes. (It’s where the old stereotype of “ambitious” comes from.)

When I was thinking about what I wanted to do for a living, I wanted something that would wake me up in the mornings and make me feel that my time at a job won't be wasted.

As do we all.

But I also needed for everything to be a real job, not charity for the "cause" eventhough I have worked A LOT just because I love doing some things and not ony to get paid. But I guess these things are fueled by my love and I don't see them as "profession" per se.

People? Until in we live in the Star Trek socialist utopia, you need to be paid for the work you do. Even if you’re working for a charity and even if you’re doing something you love.

Another pointer towards Lion is that I do identify with the thinking of systems and how they play a part in people's lives and how they should be changed. But I'm not sure I always did this. I think I've been Burned as well at some point (not sure if I still am) so that makes things difficult.

Yeah, you’re Burned. And sometimes Burnt Snakes will latch onto a Lion Cause, the same way that Burnt Lions will latch onto an individual’s morality. That’s actually pretty common.

The secondary thing is pretty simple imo, I think I'm a Bird but I might be Burned? I don't know if that "useful/fun" situation makes a difference for me because I always think that whatever I have collected is actually useful to me and if I got new skills, they would be useful to me as well at some point.

I don't know what else to write really, I think it's quite a lot to read already. If you have an inclination about my type I'd like to hear your opinion.

You haven’t talked at all about how you solve problems. Which might relate to burning, or it might not. But if you tend to collect skills and tools, that’s at least a Bird secondary model. <3

#sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #snake primary #burnt snake primary #snake pri

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sunflowers-insherwood · 3 years

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Allan A Dale Analysis - 2x06

Investigating Allan A Dale’s Character Through For England...!

2x06 of BBC Robin Hood arguably presents some of the most dynamic character relationships and power plays of the entire series, and it was for this reason I came away from rewatching it a few nights ago and instantly began to scribble notes. Originally I aimed to write about the wider relationships within the episode – Guy and Marian’s as well as Guy and the Sheriff’s are particularly interesting here – but alas, I just couldn’t stop myself from writing about my favourite character Allan A Dale, who also goes through one of the climaxes of his general progression and betrayal arc in this episode. As a fan favourite, Allan is often seen throughout the fandom as the victim of a series of worsening situations, and while this is a credible interpretation, it often forgets to acknowledge Allan’s agency and his decisions to go ahead with actions that slow the greater good. Although I agree that Allan’s betrayal and further descent is largely worsened by the actions of those around him, in this essay I hope to restore his accountability and show how he initiates several violent acts, all while victimising himself by placing the blame on others. I will walk through the episode chronologically, analysing his motives, actions, and their consequences, trying to establish a fair view of Allan’s reasoning in this episode, as I examine not just his actions, but the decisions he made in order to complete them. (Wordcount: 3.2k)

This can be read alone, but works best when read after my 2x05 confrontation analysis.

This episode is the first time we see Allan operating fully outside of the gang he’s been a part of for the rest of the series. At the end of 2x05, Robin finds out Allan is the spy who has been working for Gisborne, and they truly clash for the first time. In 2x06, his first scene occurs right at the beginning, as we see Allan trek back into the forest with the hood of his cloak up to avoid being seen by the gang, in order to gather the money from his stash. However, he arrives only to find the gang have found his money, as they proceed to yell at him for being a traitor and keep his stash. The gang’s pain here is understandable; Allan hasn’t been able to explain that the catalyst for his betrayal was physical and emotional torture, (he told Robin but Robin dismissed this and likely hasn’t told the gang) so they think he was more willing to work for Gisborne than he actually was. The pain of the wound is fresh, him having been told to leave by Robin what can only be assumed to be a day or so before. To them, they are taking his ‘blood money’ to help the poor. However, Allan now has very little to survive on. He essentially only has the clothes on his back, as he can’t go back to camp to collect his belongings, and so only has what he left with. His worse possible situation has become his reality overnight: he has gone from having both friends and money to neither. I imagine when the reality of his spying first hit him, he calmed himself from the worry of being thrown out of the gang with the promise of money; he’d have no friends but a means to survive (which is what he wanted the money for in the first place, he wanted financial security), yet now he has neither. However, he still repeatedly tries to reach out to the rest of the gang, saying he never wanted this to happen, but is interrupted by the black knight carriage that drives between them and he runs away, likely to avoid being caught by the Sheriff’s men but also to re-evaluate his situation, as he’s now probably feeling especially vulnerable. In his eyes, this is another situation where Robin or the gang could have given him a second chance but haven’t. (Sidenote, he and the gang are literally divided by the Sheriff’s men, if that ain’t symbolism I don’t know what is).

So now, feeling completely abandoned by the rest of the gang, who have not just been passive in their dislike but have actively taken his only money, he goes to the only person he has left – Guy. Yes, he could’ve left Nottingham and begun a new life, but this would have been extremely difficult, especially keeping in mind that Robin saved Allan from losing a hand when he was poaching to survive after his brother stole everything from him in a similar situation before. Basically, surviving alone is hard, and he knows this, so his quickest and easiest option is to go to the one contact he has who won’t reject him instantly, which is Guy. By the end of the episode, I argue that Allan has more spiteful motivations, but I believe he initially goes to Guy out of necessity, rather than as an act of vengeance against the gang by siding with the enemy.

And luckily for him, Guy agrees to take him on! Some more stuff happens but as I can’t remember it, I’m not going to deem it that important. The next time we properly see him is when he walks into the wrong place at the wrong time, and the Sheriff instantly calls for him to be hanged. We see him arrested, although never in the cells, however you can just imagine the anguish he’s going through there. I always view Allan as at least partially traumatised from his almost-hanging in 1x01, and now he’s been told he’s going to be hung again and is left to wait in a cell, knowing how painful a death it’s going to be, and without any hope of rescue. So now, on top of his exhaustion from sleeping rough for a night or two, having to completely adapt to a new environment and knowing his friends all hate and reject him without him being able to explain his actions, he’s also grappling with imminent death through his worst fear – he’s having what could be described as a really, really terrible time. Even Guy tells the guards to ‘take him away’, so he is essentially abandoned by everyone he knows. He is completely cornered with no way out.

Let’s expand our view for a minute and just think about Allan as a person. I love a good personality test, and my personal favourite is the Enneagram. The Enneagram categorises personalities into nine types, with a person’s basic desire and basic fear at the crux of this designation. I believe Allan to be a Type 7 with a 6 wing (7w6), which essentially means his biggest fears are of being deprived and in pain, and of being without security. If we go back to the episode, taking into account everything he’s just had to consider – a painful and imminent death, the loss of his friends, and loss of a shelter and money – and place that in the context of his worst fears – being deprived, in pain, without security - we see a man who has every single worst fear come true in the space of around 24 hours. And then, what if on top of this, we place him on a flimsy wooden plank on top of a vat of boiling liquid, pitted against the man who personifies why his life is now awful: we see a man who has lost everything, who is completely cornered, who has nowhere else to run, but an instinctual desire to survive. (Allan’s ideas of right and wrong aren’t as strong as the rest of the gang’s, and his desire to survive places these even further back on the priority list.)

Now, this doesn’t excuse what he does when he’s fighting Robin over that pit of boiling oil, but it does give an outline of just how emotionally wrecked he’s feeling. In that moment, it’s him versus Robin, him versus the man who is the reason why his life has gone to shit. I’m not saying that everything is Robin’s fault – while the inability of the others, especially Robin, to listen to Allan’s side of the story definitely accentuates his problems, he is still to blame for willingly feeding Guy information and the consequences of that – but to Allan, it is easier to blame everyone other than himself. In his head at this moment, he is the complete victim, as especially in the early moments of processing what is happening, it is easier to be angry at others rather than accept any of his own responsibility for what’s happening. So he’s angry at everyone in lieu of being angry at himself, and hence he takes the initial swing, initiating the fight despite Robin trying to stop him. (It was these moments in the fight which prompted me to write this essay, to investigate his reasoning, because before I viewed him as pretty much a complete victim, but here is an explicit example of how that is not true). Both Robin and Allan are being prodded by the guards to force them to fight, however, so I’m unsure how quickly he would take the first swing without their insistence.

They begin to fight, and I can’t remember all the ins and outs of their conversation as they fight but it’s mainly:

Allan: You should’ve given me a second chance.

Robin: When did you become so low?

Allan: When you started thinking you were better than everyone else.

Robin: Not better than everyone else, just you. Allan is now furious, as in his view, Robin has just completely backed him into a corner by forcing him out of the gang and taking his money, and is now lecturing him on morals, because Allan tried to find a way to survive despite this. (A difference in their priorities: Allan’s to survive, Robin’s to be good. Robin would rather die knowing he stayed true to his morals, but Allan would rather live). But the moment that is most interesting is when Robin is distracted, and Allan decides, completely of his own volition, to go for Robin with what should be a killing blow (Robin manages to twist out of the way last minute). But for all intents and purposes, Allan directly tries to kill Robin. He isn’t prompted by the guard’s stabbing at him, at the very least this isn’t shown, and he has the time while Robin is staring at Marian to properly consider what he’s about to do too. On screen, there is a wide shot of him getting ready to swing, which lasts long enough to see the action was, to some extent, mediated. This is the moment where you could lose faith in Allan as a good person, because he just tried to kill Robin in cold blood. There was no individual catalyst or bad influence (apart from the boiling vat of oil) like when he was previously pressured into betraying the gang, it’s entirely of his decision. Let’s break down the motives behind this action. He’s in the midst of the angriest he ever gets at the Robin and the gang, full of bitterness about his position, as well as in the heat of a life or death situation with the philosophy of ‘I’ve got nowhere else to go.’ In his eyes, he can either die right now, or live to survive another day and even gain the respect of Guy and the Sheriff, possibly guaranteeing him further work. That’s the first possible reasoning – he sees this more as a business opportunity to prove his loyalty to someone else and stay alive. The other reasoning, of which his motive could be a mix of both or just one (I think it’s a mix), is that he’s genuinely so hurt and furious at Robin that in that moment he does just want to kill him. However, if he was motivated by such an emotion, it has to be interpreted as more of a spur of the moment decision as killing Robin would essentially completely seal his fate of never being able to get back together with the rest of the gang (which does become one of his largest desires by the end of season 2, so taking that into consideration, the moment he goes for Robin he’s likely not thinking of the consequences).

These moments as he’s fighting are so interesting to me, as so much of the time Allan is painted as a victim – which I realise I am kind of doing now – but it’s important to note just how much stuff he does of his own volition. I see these explanations as not excuses for his actions, but reasons, because he does decide to try to kill Robin, just as much as he decides to continue selling information to Guy after being tortured into agreeing. At the very least, he was completely out of rope, so it shows just how far he’s willing to go to protect himself when so much (or arguably so little) is on the line.

Straight after the moments where we see him at his most vicious and vengeful, however, he’s able to jump down from immediate danger, and while the wider fight between the merry men and the guards are happening, he sees John and instantly tries to reach out, saying a genuine thank you for helping save him. Despite being completely willing to kill Robin, he is easily able to thank and attempt to reconcile with John. This might be part of an ‘eye for an eye’ philosophy, as Robin pushed him away from the gang multiple times, but John has done nothing to directly hurt him. The only person Allan has anything against is Robin, the gang are collateral damage in this conflict between the two of them, and it just so happened to be Robin forced to fight him. It would be interesting to see his reaction to having to fight any other member of the gang, as I think he would act very differently – much more defensive than offensive. It also could be because Robin is the person Allan envies the most even when they are friends. He makes a dig of this nature at Robin when talking to him after he’s revealed as the spy in 2x05 (if you can’t defend yourself, attack, could be the ideology he’s using there), likely due to the Ron-Weasley-style insecurity of ‘you’re always in the sun and I’m always in the shade’. This is the same insecurity that Guy preys on when torturing him to convince him to sell him information, and it gets through to Allan, so it obviously runs deep. Robin is the person he has the most internal and external conflict with. When talking to John, it isn’t instant life or death, so he is calmer, and the only reason Allan even came close to killing Robin was due to the fact they were both captured and made to fight. If this hadn’t happened, I imagine Allan would’ve just stayed out the gang’s way until he found a way to get back to them. So he tries to reconnect with John, as he is a friend whom he holds nothing against, to show his gratitude and perhaps find some sympathy or allyship in the gang. All he gets is a punch in the face, though, which is kinda sad. However, this is, when considering John’s vantage point of the situation – Allan just betrayed the gang and tried to kill Robin – completely fair.

After the fight is over, the rest of the gang have made a safe getaway and Guy and the Sheriff are arguing over what to do next. The camera cuts to Allan nursing his bruised jaw from where John punched him, looking not only physically hurt, but pretty emotionally ruined too. When Guy orders him to move, he moves so slowly that it’s definitely more than just pain, but also exhaustion and him processing the full extent of what he just did and what happened to him. He tried to kill Robin, he tried to reach out to John and got rejected, and now he’s going to have to work for Guy for the foreseeable future. He now knows what the gang think of him for joining Gisborne: they see it as a direct attack against them, rather than him trying to survive. He’s dealing with the worst parts of himself while having to accept that he’s truly hated by the rest of the lads, and not just Robin. The fight was the climax of his bitterness and anger, but I think from this moment, we see him begin to realise he wasn’t the victim, and regret and grieve his actions. Although he does go along with the Sheriff’s orders while at the castle, he is subdued about it, replying to Marian’s demands for an explanation for his worse actions with a quiet helplessness as he just ‘knows what side [his] bread is buttered on’ (2x12). He doesn’t like what he’s doing, shown by his multiple attempts to help the lads while at the castle, but he knows he must do it to survive. His instincts of self-preservation are too strong, and I think this leads to his main internal conflict and possible self-hatred, as he battles between doing what he can to live, and doing what is right. He has a lot of time for self-reflection at the castle, as he comes to term with what he has done, is doing, and must do in the future.

We don’t see anything else from Allan in this episode, but most notably, the camp dynamic is completely thrown after the fight – Much struggles with the silence as the eat at the end of the day, and as a team of five they are generally less mobile. They are able to fight well still, but in 2x06 after Robin writes his letter to Marian and says goodbye to them, about to sacrifice himself, they take a long time to read his letter and realise what he’s about to do. I think that, had Allan been there, he would’ve been able to read Robin better and prompted the others to read his letter more quickly. Here, his looser moral code and intuition would’ve proved highly helpful to the gang. On top of his, in his absence, Much gets even more of the bullying, as he worries more and the others increasingly tell him to ‘shut up’, leading to Much’s outburst in 2x12 which is only resolved by Allan coming back. Interesting, despite expecting Much to be the one to hold a grudge, he’s the first to welcome Allan back into the gang as they fight together, showing that he missed Allan’s presence much more than he let on, and felt the gang’s dynamic shift because of it. Much acts as the emotional compass for the gang, so to see him be so thrown by Allan’s leaving portrays how unstuck the others also feel.

All in all, Allan’s actions in 2x06 stem directly from his confrontation with Robin in 2x05, building on the insecurities and bitterness which Robin failed to acknowledge and address, instead diminishing his experience and taking away all options, until Allan’s only course was to leave the gang and join Guy – not yet in vengeance, but in the name of self-preservation. This backfires as he is almost hung by the Sheriff, left alone to face the threat of his worst fear. His fight with Robin later in the episode shows his anger and frustration come to a head, to the point where he, for a moment, intends to kill Robin. Allan’s inability to take any blame upon himself forces him to direct his anger onto others. Luckily for him, this passes quickly, and he tries to reconnect with other members of the gang but fails to do so. He is then forced to resign himself to working for Guy at the castle, on a side he ever intended to permanently be on. He is very much at fault for his actions, but the decisions made by Robin and Robin’s influence on other members of the gang (by not letting Allan tell them his side of the story) worsen his situation to lead to his permanent working for Gisborne. His actions at times seem spiteful, at others desperate, and the impact other people have on him directly motivate many of his decisions – but at his worst, he has the full agency to make terrible decisions of his own accord.

Thanks so much for reading if you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed my take! I’ve loved writing this duo pf essays of character exploration, they’ve truly helped me to understand Allan’s reasoning further. If you’ve anything to add, please don’t hesitate to! Your response to my 2x05 analysis was so kind and I’m genuinely honoured to be part of such a wonderful fandom.

#allan a dale #robin hood #bbc robin hood #character analysis #robin of locksley #for england #allan a dale analysis

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lynneshobbydomain · 4 years

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Vengeance Chapter 12

((Thank you all so much for the likes and the reblogs and the support. Thank you to @sinfulwonders who works tirelessly with me to beta this. I also wanted to apologize for not updating. As, you all know I was busy with shipweek but I also had a family matter that was very crucial. I am grateful that you all cherish this story as I do. Without further ado, let me continue))

Rating: M

Summary:

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You can read below the cut or at my AO3

It was the first time Shuichi entered Aki's room since her disappearance, and there was still a heart-sinking feeling that stuck with him as he looked at the place. The faint scent of blackberry and vanilla hung in the air, and the smallest little knick-knacks hadn't been moved or fixed. Her desk was still the organized mess that it was, a planner even folded to the week that she went missing. The planner had different colored inks scrawled across the page, each color symbolizing priorities, and reminders written in quick shorthand. Her curtains draped closed, as they were when she wasn't in the room. There was a corkboard hung on the wall with pictures thumbtacked into its surface. Many of them were of D.I.C.E, of family photos, and some of just him and his cousin. There was only one picture on there of just her back to the camera, and her profile hidden with a wide brim hat. She was walking down the beach with her hands clasped behind her back. The wind must've been blowing since her hair was all over the place. It was a stylistic photo, and the only one he knew of that could wield a camera like that was Ovetere. Which meant this must've been a spontaneous trip that some of the D.I.C.E members took, or they had met up somehow and just decided to mess around with the camera.

His attention left the board to the laptop that was sitting idly on the desk. He knew that this day would come sooner or later. Digging up secrets, he couldn't think of any that Aki would keep, but Takahashi told him one already. She wanted to travel around and keep a distance between her and the Saihara name. Shuichi couldn't fault her for it. He sat down at the desk and turned on the laptop, noting with amusement that the surface covered with different kinds of stickers. Her collection was endless, and it was everywhere. On the consoles of her video games, on the corkboard, on the laptop. He knew if he dug around her bookshelf, he could find her albums of stickers. He waited for the computer to load as he looked around her room again. His furniture matched the dark aesthetic of trying to keep his place as cold and minimalist as possible. Her furnishings were light wood and reflected the light from the overhead fan and the sunlight when she opened the curtains.

He could almost hear the soft twang of her guitar playing, and he could just visualize her sitting on her bed with her guitar on her lap, curling around it as she focused on practicing a chord or a song. It was a typical scene—a standard memory. Even before Kokichi showed up in their lives, him reading in her room while she practiced was commonplace. It was hard to believe that during fits of insomnia, he wouldn't hear her play anytime soon—no random knocking on doors to check in on each other and trek up to the vending machine.

Shuichi saw that her laptop was password-protected, but he didn't need to be a hacker to know what it was. He typed it in out of memory and stared at the desktop picture. It was last year's New Year shrine visit. Their arms wrapped around each other's shoulders -Shuichi had to bend down to compromise the height difference-, and they were grinning at the camera. Shuichi's smile is a little more timid and shy, and her bright and beaming. She wore a yukata even though it was freezing and that she should've worn a jacket, and Shuichi bundled up in a scarf and earmuffs. They had taken the picture away from the crowd, but close enough that it could still be seen a little in the background, showcasing the line and the people who were trying to get a wish.

It startled him to see that this was the picture on her laptop. He didn't think that anyone kept the photo besides Keiko or Koji. He didn't remember Aki requesting the picture, but maybe he hadn't paid attention when he got dragged into the embrace. He felt his eyes burn and a lump form in the back of his throat as he tried to swallow past all of it. He needed to stay focused. Right now, traversing memories wasn't going to solve this case.

Just like that, however, his mind decided to be helpful and remind him that Takahashi said that she was planning to leave the Saihara household. Bracing himself to find nothing but apartment searches and universities for music, he got himself back upright and went onto her internet.

If anyone wanted to know anyone, whatever they searched on their history told a fair amount of their story. Composing contests, youtube channels dedicated to guitarists and musicians, discussion forums on music...a twitter. Shuichi didn't doubt that Aki networked, trying to see who would bite if she was actively trying to leave, but...there was not a thing that she recently posted on her account that said anything about wanting that. The youtube videos she watched were of people that she admired and actively supported. There was nothing to indicate that she wanted to leave.

If she was bait, chances were, Danganronpa didn't have a clue until they started researching a little more heavily into her about who she was or didn't have a clue at all since Aki was firmly silent about her name. If it wasn't bait...then, Danganronpa really went out of their way to try to find her. Shuichi just couldn’t imagine his aunt making such a massive wave with a case that it would result in something dramatic as a kidnapping. At the same time, considering that it was nothing more than a snuff game, and everyone was a contestant....he couldn't put it past them. Everything was a possibility right now, and until he heard more from his uncle or his aunt about the Jabberwock Case, nothing was set in stone.

It didn't fit with Danganronpa's MO. They went after local celebrities, and they stuck with local newspapers. Unless...Shuichi cupped his hand over his mouth as he tried to put himself into Danganronpa's shoes. If they were so slighted about the case that his aunt took, that they were willing to go out of their way to remind the police and law force what kind of power they would be granted...then it wouldn't bother them to research Aki. Take her hobby, and her talent...and taunt her with it as they did with the rest of the contestants. Only instead of being accomplished, they were belittling the fact that she wasn't, and that pissed Shuichi off.

He confirmed once again that there had indeed been a "reason" for the kidnapping. Shuichi felt confident that Danganronpa just didn't randomly take her from the street. Now to confirm the other piece of the puzzle. He opened her Discord as well as he decided to scroll as much through her history as he possibly could, she seemed to have kept it clear and clean most of the time. Getting on to her Discord, he noticed that she was only a part of two servers, D.I.C.E, and the Musician Symphony.

The Musician Symphony wasn't an active group, but he could see that there were people that occasionally touched base. Going through the backlogs, Shuichi noticed that Aki tended to lurk more than participate in this server. He roamed through the channels before figuring out that the entire reason why she was there was to see what other people were doing and supporting them. He saw some of the tweets people were posting onto the channel. Some had been re-tweeted by her as a boost. She went through the youtube videos and commented on them, but she'd never discussed how she came across them.

There was a notification on a familiar icon. Shuichi clicked on it, already having an idea of what he was about to walk into.

[ Shuffle: Shuichi-chan-san's telling me that you're missing. You're not missing, right? You're home, or you're late or something… ]

[ Shuffle: Aki...please just go home? Please? If you guys had a fight or something, I know Saihara-chan-san will be willing to hear you out...or Ouma-sama-san! ]

Those were all...on the day Aki was reported missing. Shuichi closed his eyes and let out a soft breath.

A couple of days later, Shuffle tried again to reach out.

[ Shuffle: I know that this isn't going to reach you, we don't know where you are, but I feel like I have to say something anyway. ]

[ Shuffle: I'm really, really scared Aki. ]

[ Shuffle: I'm scared we're going to find you dead. I'm afraid that we're going to find you traumatized. I'm worried that you're...not going to be the Aki that we all know and love. ]

[ Shuffle: I feel so dumb. ]

[ Shuffle: I should've done something. ]

[ Shuffle: Called you, met you closer than the intersection. ]

[ Shuffle: I'm such a terrible friend. Asuka says that I'm not. Tohru says I'm not. Everyone's saying to me that I'm not. ]

[ Shuffle: But I can't even help our leader like you can, Aki. I don't think Saihara-chan-san can help either. ]

[ Shuffle: he just sits at his laptop, all scared. ]

[ Shuffle: Maybe I should just ask for a pancake night. ]

[ Shuffle: There's no point in talking to a ghost that's not gonna reply. ]

Discord didn't shed any new light. Not that Shuichi was expecting it. He clicked off the website and rubbed his eyes, trying to think. Danganronpa knew that something was up. They knew that they were being investigated or that someone was poking around. Getting called up by Jabberwock over the technology only made them paranoid. It was the only theory that Shuichi had that didn't feel like he was stretching to reach a conclusion.

Maybe they thought someone was getting suspicious over the newspaper clippings and decided to target using other methods? If that was the case, then who got close enough to make Dangnaronpa sweat? Shuichi curled a finger against his chin. He doubted his uncle was the one that pressed them against the wall. At the same time, the theory that Ando had about Aki being bait was...still useful even if Shuichi hesitated to believe it.

Just what was happening on Jabberwock? What was the technology that was apparently stolen or lost? Why would Danganronpa admit to having it? Why would they even use their name?

What was their cover story? Shuichi sat straighter. A gut feeling stirred into his stomach, and he decided to just see if he was right. Instead of going into her history tab, which he knew would have nothing, he scrolled through her bookmarks. They were neatly categorized and organized from music to school work, and the abundance of files told him enough that everything had a place. There was one folder that was hidden in the music section; however, that caught his attention.

Travel Plans

Clicking on it, Shuichi saw a list of hotels and maps that were in her bookmarks. They were hot spots in each prefecture. Touristy areas as well as places that were off the beaten path. Shuichi picked one from the list, and saw that there was a museum that was dedicated to the Tragedy. It had been one of the several areas that had been annihilated. It wasn’t too much of a stretch to assume that Aki was looking at history. Her interests were vast: psychology, history...the Tragedy was just both lined into one common event. There was a stigma that surrounded people who studied it and there was shame around those who talked about it. There was an underlying fear that it could happen again, or would happen again. No one wanted to teach the subject besides a quick overview, just in case.

It was probably the same shame that kept Jabberwock Island from being talked about too. Shuichi pursed his lips together as he decided to click on Jabberwock Island’s website.

The screen turned black, and for one horrifying moment, he thought he was going to see the emblem of Danganronpa spin around in a loading mode. Instead, what appeared to him looked to be like a flower with five sharp petals that were in a circle. As the page loaded, a flower petal colored itself a bright magenta. The page finally came into view, and Shuichi could not believe what he was seeing.

Welcome to Jabberwock Island.

The header had a large white font, and the picture was of the island's map of six islands. The tiny main island that was in the middle of it, and the five larger sections that made up the home. It was an island that was a few months away on a ship, and a decent six-hour flight from Japan.

He quickly found the "history" tab, and he stared in surprise as he read the blurb.

"An island that once used to be an amusement park was abandoned during the Tragedy in 20xx. The Future Foundation had renovated the amusement park into a military base in 20XX and had used it to help rehabilitate the Despair 15, otherwise known as the Remnants of Despair. The Despair 15 have decided to stay on Jabberwock Island after the Tradgey's conclusion in 20xx and self-exiled themselves from Japan. What used to have a horrible history is now flourishing with tourism and immigration.

Hinata Hajime is the island's current Leader alongside Nevermind Sonia, who has strong political ties to the Novoselic Kingdom in Europe."

Shuichi doubted that a website mostly created to try to get traffic into their island would talk about the technology that they once housed or the people that were on the island. The Tragedy. Despair 15.

Despair 15….

Did...Danganronpa has some sort of history with the Tragedy or with the Remnants of Despair? Shuichi never heard of someone mentioning the Despair 15 before, or of them being called the Remnants of Despair. Shuichi leaned back against the chair, the gears in his mind whirling. Remnants of Despair and Danganronpa. The missing technology. Something prodded in Shuichi’s mind to dig deeper at this.

First thing first: there was one person that he could talk to during the game that would probably offer him some insight about the event. Maybe there was something that was glossed over in class that would bring all of this together.

The second thing that he had to worry about was that Aki was going around to explore where the Tragedy hit the hardest. Her knowledge that she knew about the Island and in turn knew where the Remnants of Despair were located. Not only that, but it was odd to Shuichi that Dangaronpa and Jabberwock had a connection involving the Kamukura technology.

It pained Shuichi to think about it. How much didn't he see because he thought everything was okay? He thought about her statement in the first episode or two. When she proclaimed that she felt lighter. I keep thinking about the cars. I keep seeing them. He didn’t ask where, did he? His stomach turned iced and he felt the world darken at the corners of his eyes. He assumed she was talking about the school, and Aki, who probably didn’t want him to worry any more than he already was, went with it.

He clicked out Aki's computer and shut it down. He went back to his room and booted up his own computer. The darkness of his room helped with the small headache that was starting to pound behind his left eye. He hated stress headaches, and he didn't want to get off track to get medicine when he was so close to the finish line. At least, a finish line of one mystery.

Usually, the episode started at the dining hall when everyone was gathered, but to Shuichi's surprise, the episode started in a room that gave off an unsettling vibe. There was a large monitor that hung from the dorm's ceiling with prominent speakers, which amplified the volume. There weren't any windows in the dorm, and even if there were, the windows would be slated and bolted down so that there was no thought, no hope for escape. The bed was pushed up against the wall. There was also a desk that had a fair amount of papers on it. It's a dorm room, it was neat, and Rantaro was sitting on the edge, running his hand through his hair deep in contemplation.

There was a soft ring of a doorbell, and Rantaro picked his head up. There were superficial circles under his eyes that spoke of a hard night's rest, and he looked disgruntled. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, walking over to the door and opening it. "Kokai-kun?"

"Sorry, da bodder, you." The Ultimate Falconer gave a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He, too, looked as tired as Rantaro looked. "I jus' wanna check in on you."

"I think there's a lot of other people that you should be worried about, I'm fine," Rantaro assured gently. "How are they?"

"Dunno. Came da loo' a' you." Kokai gestured, "You are na fine, an' dat's o' ay." His drawl was a little worse than Shuichi remembered. He wondered if it was from the exhaustion, or if Kokai wasn't trying too hard to speak correctly. He still didn't know where to place that accent...if that even was one. "I was gonna fin' Mayumi-chan an' Shirogane-san."

"Shirogane-san is probably heartbroken," Rantaro murmured. "...Why don't we go looking for them together? How about we start with Shirogane since she's the one that was probably hurt the most? Maybe we can work our way around the school as well."

"Dat' sounds good." Kokai nodded firmly and stepped out so that Rantaro could leave the room. "Where da begin?" He frowned. "I' dough of maybe her lab, bu' I'm na sure where id is."

"It should be in our monopads." Rantaro took the said monopad out and started tapping on the screen.

"I ha' nology," Kokai grumbled. "Pre' y sure id ha'es me do."

Rantaro blinked, and he looked at Kokai curiously. "You... don't look at the monopads?"

"I can' ge' id da work!" Koka gave his monopad to Rantaro. He merely flicked the screen, and it turned on. The look of incredulity was astonishing, and Shuichi couldn't help but laugh, just as Rantaro chuckled. "I have done dat a dousands dimes! How?!"

"Maybe it's because I'm nice to it?" Rantaro offered as he handed it back to the flabbergasted student. "If you talk to it nicely and you touch it kindly rather than poking and prodding at it, it may be nice to you, and you can actually see where everyone is."

"Id shows you where people are?" Kokai blinked.

Rantaro quickly went through his and proceeded to show him a map. Shuichi frowned deeply, cupping his hand around his mouth. It was a little...eerie that students could keep track of each other. A good thing for a victim to have an understanding and a warning ahead of time. He had to doubt if anyone would use the monopads like that. Maybe some did.

While they were busy talking about the monopads, Shuichi turned his attention to the chat room and decided to see if Shinigami was on.

[ Seeker: Everyone's so quiet today. ]

[ Shinigami: Good evening, Seeker-san. It has been quiet. I have not seen Loki-kun around, which is to my pleasure. How are you? ]

[ Seeker: Struggling with History homework. ] It was probably a good thing that Kokichi wasn't in that chat room. Shuichi knew that was a terrible lie, but he hoped that it was hard to tell through the internet.

[ Shinigami: Perhaps I can be of assistance? I am a scholar of sorts for cultural history. I may not be able to tell you a whole lot of whatever you are trying to accomplish, but I may be able to clarify a few facts. ]

[ Seeker: We’re learning a bit about the Tragedy. I don't really know what to look for online. Any advice? ] Shuichi had to cringe at how bad that lie sounded. He wasn’t getting any better at this.

[ Shinigami: The Tragedy is a complex subject, but...let me see if I can't put it into more... more detailed terms. No one is certain of how the Tragedy began. Some say it started with Hope’s Peak Academy, and the unethical human experimentation that they were doing. Some say that there was a group that made something called Despair Disease and decided to spread it around. My belief, as well as other scholars, is the fact that it was a combination of all these things at once. There were experiments done, just not by the Academy. The Despair Sisters had a hand in it as well.]

[ Shinigami: Allow me to further the conversation about the disease. It would twist the personality into something that was the opposite of them or enhance a part of the depending, and they would act on it. Some were liars, some would follow orders to the death, and some were….some were actively trying to become the same as the Remnants of Despair. Unfortunately for them, the longest they could survive the fever and the dehydration, along with the hallucination, was about three days. ]

[ Shinigami: It was rumored to have happened anyway. Some survivors claim that they saw the disease with their own eyes. ]

[ Shinigami: You have to understand the Remnants of Despair and the people that befell the chaos were….people that would actively torture and kill victims. Torture that included but certainly did not stop at unethical practices of doctoring and experimentation. ]

[ Shinigami: The Tragedy came to a conclusion after the Despair Sisters met their demise during the Hope's Peak revival. ]

[ Shinigami: It took five years after that to rebuild, and another ten to fully recover. ]

[ Seeker: I see. Why is it hard for people to study the event without being cast in a terrible light? ]

[ Shinigami: Humans are afraid of things that they can’t control or predict. The Tragedy was one such instance and there’s a fear that someone will think it’d be a good idea to bring it back. Scholars like myself are even warned to tread carefully around the Tragedy, as there was once a superstition that even mentioning it, let alone studying it, would cause the Despair Disease to flare up again. Ludicrous yes, but...people want to pretend that it’s not as scary as it is. ]

Shuichi let out a long breath as he let the information sink into his mind.

[ Seeker: Does Danganronpa have anything to do with the Tragedy? ]

[ Shinigami: No. But they were inspired by an aspect of it. ]

Shuichi thought for a moment that Shinigami would go off again and give him the information, but for some reason, that wasn't happening. Shuichi had a feeling that even if he pressed, Shinigami wouldn't say. It must be something to do with his contract about watching the killing games and writing that paper of his.

There was something about those games then that they were mimicking or were trying to do. Despair 15...

Would it really be off of the mark to think that Danganronpa was attempting to see if falling into despair would be as easy as the Tragedy made it appear? Would it really be off of the mark to think that someone thought that the Remnants of Despair weren't all on Jabberwock Island?

Hope's Peak Academy...Shuichi grabbed his notebook and quietly wrote down the name. He was going to have to do more digging. Here he had hoped that the mystery would be done and over with, but Danganronpa was good at keeping the questions coming.

They were good at keeping an audience captivated at the screen.

It appeared that Shirogane was indeed in her lab, the boys took a daring look at each other, probably preparing themselves for hysteria, or tears, or other things. Shuichi wondered if he was going to cringe at how they would try to comfort her or be moved that they actually attempted. Rantaro was the one that decided to be brave and knock on the door.

It took a few tries, but Shirogane appeared, looking distraught and heartbroken as Rantaro predicted. Her cheeks were covered in tear stains, her nose was running and red. Her eyes are blotchy and swollen. She did her best to look presentable, but even the Ultimate Cosplayer couldn't hide her misery. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this. I know I'm being so boring right now and-"

"Enough of that." Rantaro frowned as both of the boys moved to be in her lab. The area reminded Shuichi of the backstage or a green room of a show. She had racks of different types of costumes, some of which the backlog chat were animatedly discussing who their favorite anime characters were, and whether or not she'd reference them later in the long run. "Hey...can I hug you, Shirogane-san?"

"I'm all crying and snotty!" Shirogane cried out, her cheeks stained red. "You couldn't-"

"I offered." Rantaro gently coaxed, "Come here." Shirogane didn't seem to be able to hold her ground as she walked towards him as though hypnotized. Kokai watched from the sidelines as they hugged, and Shirogane sniffed. "It's okay," Rantaro whispered, gently stroking her hair. "It's okay. I'm so sorry, Shirogane-san. Yesterday was horrible. For all of us."

"I just wish Chatani-senpai said something." Shirogane whimpered. "I could've done something. I could've told her not to do it. I could've told her to wait. I could've…"

"Done nading." Kokai gently broke the conversation. "She made ‘er choice an' she knew dat id hur' people. Chatani-san an' Yadori-san did deir bes'. Dey wan'ed da escape. Id was a price dey paid."

Rantaro gave him a sharp glare, gripping a little tighter around Shirogane's shoulders and quickly shook his head, as though to warn him about going further.

"No, I know." Shirogane gently pulled away from Rantaro, wiping her eyes and trying to gather herself. "It's just like Death Note when L died, you know? You had all of this hope that they'd wind up friends only for it to be backstabbed and proven wrong." Rantaro and Kokai gave her blank looks, and she giggled nervously. "I'm sorry I don't know how to put it any other way. I'll be okay now. Just gotta keep my chin up. Like Naruto. Believe it!"

"I mean...if that's what makes you feel better." Rantaro rubbed the back of his neck. "It's okay to feel sad though Shirogane-san. We're here to support you no matter what."

"Thank you. You two are excellent friends to me. I'm so happy that a boring and dull girl like me has someone like you two." Shirogane beamed brightly.

"I'm surprised that Mayumi-chan hasn't come by to see you." Rantaro frowned deeply. "I wonder if she's okay."

Tsumugi waved it off. "I told her to go away." She looked down at the ground, distraught and upset. "I said some things...I was really, really angry. I'm a lot calmer now than I had been. I'm sure she's upset with me."

"I dob dat," Kokai assured softly, "Songbird isn' da type da hold a grudge. She understands. Promise."

Shuichi wanted to nod empathetically. While she could be found curled up against someone's door if they were having a hard time, she knew when she wasn't wanted and did leave people alone. Sometimes she knew when someone was just saying it, just to say it rather than mean it. He could remember the times she sat next to him, arms draped around his shoulder as he went through an anxiety attack, trying to shield him. Trying to comfort him. She never wasted her words, she was more than happy to stay silent and just be there.

Tsumugi nodded as well, seemingly getting a hold of herself. "I'll have to make it up to her. Oh, ask her what kind of cosplay she'd do." She looked at the boys. "Please?"

"Sure." Kokai agreed, and Rantaro also nodded his agreement. "Bu' are ya goin' da be okay?"

"I'll be fine...I just...need today is all…" Tsumugi looked at the ground for a moment. "Have you checked in on Yuya-san?"

"No." Rantaro folded his arms. "You think she might need someone to talk to?"

"She loved Yadori-san, so I imagine she'd be just as heartsick as I am over Chatani-chan." Tsumugi shrugged helplessly. "I don't know if anyone's willing to reach out to her since she's a little out there."

[ Loki: Awwww, is this going to be another boring episode? So lame!!!!! ]

[ Shinigami: Ah, that's right, you missed the brutal execution and murder episode, didn't you? ]

[ Loki: Oh no, I saw that with my boyfriend <3. We were ecstatic that the two more boring ones died first. Looks like it wasn't the chemist, after all, Shiny! ]

[ Shinigami: Much to my displeasure, but I still hold the belief firm that she'll be a culprit sooner or later. ]

[ Loki: Are you still thinking that the cosplay chick and guacamole are going to be the survivors? ]

[ Shinigami: You know, my bet on Shirogane-san is wavering just slightly as Mayumi-san has proven herself to be survivor material. At the same time, I have a different theory about her. ]

[ Loki: Are you going to tell? ]

[ Loki: Hey! ]

[ Shinigami: it really is a shame that we're merely separated by a screen. I would love to tear your vocal cords out. That being said, yes. I do have a theory. Yes, I will share it. My first theory is that Mayumi-chan is a Mastermind. ]

Aki? A Mastermind? That was too far off the grid. What good was a mastermind that couldn't remember that they were a mastermind? That just...does not make any amount of sense. It would be a cheap shot as well to try to get her murdered.

[ Seeker: I highly doubt that. ]

[ Shinigami: Granted, that does seem a bit off. My other theory is that she is going to be playing this season's Traitor. ]

Shuichi wondered how much of this was a hidden message, and how much of this was Danganronpa's actual plan. He was going to have to get his uncle to ask about those case files sooner rather than later. He was going to have to see for himself just what kind of an impact this case had made, and why they'd get so angry only to find Aki.

It made him worried about why they didn't bother to go after him…

Unless…

If that was indeed the case, then this was beyond fucked up. Shuichi decided to stomp that theory down until he had more concrete evidence to say that was the case. For now, he needed to focus on what he actually had and what he even knew.

"Danks. Can dat ding find her?" Kokai asked as both of the boys decided to exit the room. "Yuya-chan may na wanna 'alk da us."

"No, but we should try and let her know that she and Shirogane are in the same boat so that they have a support system." Rantaro frowned. "Then we can see how everyone else is doing. We may come across Mayumi-chan that way too."

"...Why do ya care?" Kokai frowned suddenly.

Rantaro froze, and for a moment, Shuichi thought he wasn't going to try to reply. "Do you have any siblings, Kokai-kun?"

"Yes." Kokai nodded. "I have a sis."

"Older or younger?"

"Does id madder?" Kokai frowned a little but thought for a moment. "I'm de old one."

"So maybe you'll get it kind of," Rantaro muttered softly to himself. "Let's just say... I'm an older brother too."

"....Wow." Kokai paused. "You're a bedder, big bro 'han me."

"Why do you say that?"

"If dat was my sis cryin' in dere." He gestured towards the lab behind him. "I'd dell ‘er da suck id up loser."

Shuichi covered his face with his hands and groaned loudly. Rantaro let out a startled laugh, as though he hadn't been expecting that.

[ Loki: Wooow. That's cruel. Then again, I'd do the same thing easy peasy. ]

Instead of bantering, Shinigami went oddly silent. Shuichi wondered if this was an intricate subject for the person on the other end of the computer. Not everyone had a good or decent relationship with their sibling.

Shuichi thought back at his relationship with his cousin. He couldn't keep track of how often his cousin went after him and made sure that he was okay. How often she talked him down from an anxiety attack after an anxiety attack, how often she saw him cry. He couldn't remember the last time he saw Aki burst into tears. They fought...but Shuichi couldn't even call those fights. Everyone around them, Kokichi included, tended to say that they acted as though they were on a debate team.

Shuichi remembered when Aki made him cry. He couldn't remember the fight, but he remembered her words: at least my parents didn't abandon me like a puppy at someone's front door. Shuichi held a grudge against her for a while for it; he wondered if he got her back. She always seemed to have such a firm grip on herself...it made Shuichi worry. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her cry.

He turned his attention back to the episode. Rantaro and Kokai were at a tiny little shack that was pretty far away from any of the school buildings. The shack looked as though it were about to crumble. It was barely being held up by anything but nails and some wires. Gonoji was standing on a ladder outside. His pliers were in his hands, and Yuya was standing outside, hands on her hips as she watched.

"What are you two doing?" Rantaro asked.

"Oh, hey, guys! What's crackalackin?!" Yuya grinned, turning to face them. She looked as though she just had gotten a little fried from something. Her clothes were smoking slightly as well as the ends of her hair. "I was trying to fix up my lab, but the wires were all messed up, so I asked Gonoji-kun if he could take a gander at it! Voila!"

"Da need help?" Kokai called up.

"No man, I got it." Gonoji grinned as he jumped down from his position on the ladder and looked at Yuya. "I think we might want to ask Monokuma to give you a better lab. This isn't exactly safe."

"But, it's gonna burn down anyway." Yuya pouted. "What good is a good building if I can't burn it down? The outdoors is my lab anyway, not that tiny little thing."

"Okay, okay!" He laughed, holding his hands out. "I get it. Well, I'll get out of your hair then. You got company, and I don't want to be in the way."

"Actually, I was going to come to find you anyway," Rantaro gave them both a kind smile. "I was just...seeing how you two were doing. Since...yesterday."

"I'm a firm believer that when things go bad, they go bad," Gonoji said simply. "Work keeps the demons away. I'm grateful that I was able to provide it too. I may just be in my lab trying to do something or another." He looked at Yuya. "Unless you think that Shimhara might want me to make the lights brighter on his stage or something."

"God, I don't know with that dick." Yuya frowned. "You can try, but he might just tell you off for thinking that his place is less than perfect."

"Or call ya da help." Kokai's shoulders slumped slightly.

"Now, now, it was a bad day." Rantaro gently chided. "Let's give him a chance to redeem himself."

"Oh, there's no redeeming people like him, Ran-Ran, but you sure as hell can try." Yuya scoffed. "Good luck, Gogai-kun I don't want to be you."

Gonoji laughed but walked off without another word. Rantaro and Kokai watched him leave before turning back to the arsonist, who was looking at her shack with a big smile plastered on her face. Yuya looked exactly like Kokichi would when a big idea hit, and decided to cause problems on purpose. Shuichi wouldn't doubt that her knowledge of fire and explosives would also go into firecrackers and gunpowder.

"You sure you're okay? Shirogane-san…"

"Yadori-san lied to me." Yuya broke Rantaro off. "I know you mean well, but... I'm not really grieving here; I'm fucking furious. I'm gonna lit a bitch and watch it burn. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do that, which gets the message across. You dig me?"

"You're scary." Kokai let out a short breath. "I dun wanna be on your bad side."

"Aw. You're lovely, Kokai-kun." Yuya beamed, "I don't want to be on yours either. So let's make a promise to not make promises, yeah? They're just gonna get broken in the end. If you excuse me, lads, I have a date with a fire extinguisher. Later, crocodiles."

".... That's not exactly how that phrase goes." Rantaro watched her slam the door of the little shack, and it rattled violently enough that it threatened to fall.

"'Elling her dat will be a mis'ake." Kokai winced, sweating beading down the side of his face. Shuichi didn't doubt that at all. Yuya was stubborn for the sake of it. Talking to her when she was angry wasn't going to get anywhere. She might want to speak when she calmed down some, but...Shuichi couldn't blame her if she decided to hold a grudge. He didn't like people lying either. Kokichi was terrible at it, he drove Shuichi up the wall, but there were differences in the lies that he told and the ones that Yadori had said.

There was a difference in someone murdering to protect someone, and killing because they thought it was the right thing to do. Shuichi tugged on his hat, despite that there was no way they would be able to see him.

The episode ended without any mention of the flashback light, but Shuichi didn't doubt that was going to be the next thing to be touched upon in the next few episodes. That is if no one decided to go after each other without needing much more than a reason. It was disturbing how easy it had been for the first murder to take place. Just a seed of doubt and that was that it took for two people to wind up dead.

That flashback light may not have to even try hard at all to get the rest of the group paranoid enough to kill each other. Shuichi quietly logged off of Danganronpa, his mind whirling over the information that he had received, and the knowledge that he was slowly obtaining.

It wasn't going to be a comfortable night tonight.

[ Stolen Heart: I don't think Aki-chan would be a traitor, do you? ]

Shuichi glanced at the corner of his phone to see that it was nearing three in the morning. Currently, he was trying to figure out a way to sleep, but his mind kept mulling over the information that he had gathered from the game and from Aki's laptop. He couldn't help but feel the same disconnect that most families felt when they were confronted with evidence that the person that they loved wasn't who they thought.

At the same time, Shuichi didn't really ask her about any of it. If he had...would he still be surprised? Maybe. He doubted Jabberwock would've come up in conversation. Regardless, he decided to respond to Kokichi despite how late it was at night. He needed the distraction, and perhaps so did his lover.

[ Me: It's more of a possibility than a mastermind. ]

Shuichi closed his eyes as he rested the phone against his chest, feeling the exhaustion creep upon him. Just how badly did Keiko fuck Danganronpa over?

That night he had the weirdest dream of a train going by, Aki was dangerously close to the edge of the stop. Her hair violently whipping across the wind. He remembered reaching out. He didn't remember the conversation, but he remembered her turning her head towards him, and a simple sentence crashed him awake.

Don't you choke now.

#vengeance #dangnaronpa fanfic #tw: angst #tw: murder #tw: missing persons #tw: mention of torture #tw: mystery #original character x original character #danganronpa v3 ensemble #danganronpa v2 #sdr2 #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #D.I.C.E who do we appreciate?!#oumasai #tw: depression #chapter 12 #trickfindings

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squiddybeifong · 5 years

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Trek to Themyscira, Ch. 1

Look who’s actually goin thru w/ one of my tags and it’s on ao3 here!

He was waiting for her at the entrance’s steps when her carriage rolled up.

Raven handed Victor the rest of her notes, murmuring to him to await for her in the library. Her closest friend nodded once and went up to speak to the driver. Victor winked at her and mouthed a ‘good luck’ before the driver snapped the reins and the two men were off, headed closer to the center of Gotham.

The city’s most affluent member opened his arms as her attention went to him, “Ah, Miss Roth, glad to see you’ve arrived well.” Raven kept her back straight as she walked up to Bruce, trying to keep her face as calm as possible. Still, a soft smile lightened her face at the sight of the man who’d been so kind to her in the past.

She held out her hand and spoke as he kissed her skin, “It’s wonderful to see you again as well, Mr. Wayne.”

The businessman glanced at the departing carriage, “Victor won’t be joining us today?”

“Unless your letter was needlessly optimistic, we figured that our talents would be best utilized getting all the extra information possible,” Raven raised her head but he merely held out a hand and began to walk; she followed alongside him as they made their way into Wayne University’s halls. Her gray gaze flicked to the thin marks on his hand, just barely peeking out past his sleeves and Raven languidly guessed, “I take it Damian and Mrs. Selina are still fond of cats?”

A quiet laugh escaped him and his sapphire eyes shot down to her. Raven knew it was a rare sight for one to see the Bruce Wayne look so amused, “You’ve never been one for small talk, Raven. You must be nervous.”

“I am,” She shrugged, reaching up to re-adjust some of the pins in her hair. The zoologist bit the inside of her cheek, “This is a huge opportunity you’re supposedly open to funding, Sir.”

“No more expensive than my other expeditions.”

“But you’re particular on keeping this one small? There’s obviously a plan that neither Victor nor myself have been made privy to--”

“Yet,” Bruce interjected.

“Yet,” Raven hummed in agreement. She ran a tongue over her teeth, “I have been close to your children for years now, Mr. Wayne. You’re not the kind of man to keep secrets like this unless you’re expecting an argument.”

His broad shoulders shook, “You spend time far too much time with Richard.”

She clicked her tongue, “I’m not hearing any disagreement.”

“Apologizes. It’s obviously Jason whose been influencing you.”

Gray eyes merely stared at him for a moment. Nodding once, Raven looked forward again, scanning the route that they were taking. She would have guessed his office as their destination, but they were going the wrong direction. A hand came up to press her glasses more firmly atop her nose, “Is it correct to assume I’ll find out within the hour?”

A sigh escaped her as they turned another corner, the cracked door halfway down the hall her hint. Bruce touched her shoulder, “At least give the idea a chance, Miss Roth. Think of your future before making any decisions.”

“Not ‘Raven’ this time?” Another sigh, this one deeper but quieter. He let her simmer as she obviously realized why he went out of his way to greet her and opened the door. Calm and professional as ever, he strolled to his desk and sat, opening the bottom drawer as he ignored the indignant tension in front of him.

Raven fought the urge to pinch between her eyes. The venom was obvious in her voice as she addressed the absolute bane of her professional existence, “Zatara.”

In terms of stoicism, the older woman wasn’t doing much better. The anthropologist folded her hands in her lap and sneered back at her, “Roth.”

Bruce’s voice cut through the air like a knife, plain and no-nonsense, “Themyscira.”

Both women turned to him. He motioned to the empty seat, raising a brow at the youngest. Raven closed her eyes and, after a beat, shut the door behind her. She didn’t acknowledge Zatanna as she sat, crossing her legs as she met the man’s gaze.

The young woman ran a tongue over her teeth, “As far as I’m aware, practically all historians agree that Themyscira is lost to time.”

Her tone was full of questions and the Wayne laced his fingers atop the table. The gold of his wedding ring and the onyx of his bat shaped cufflinks gleamed in the light. That very same light was angled by the curtains, falling in the room to shadow his face, “Ladies, I know of your less than stellar history, but this trip is dependant on your working together.”

He forged on before they could even think of a question, “There will be approximately 75 people on this trip and 71 of which are relegated to crew.”

Zatanna raised up, alarmed at the prospect of working with Raven and at the sheer numbers they would be limited to, “Mr. Wa--”

Bruce cut her words off, “I’m under the assumption Mr. Constantine shall be Miss Zatara’s aide and Mr. Stone will do the same for you, Miss Roth?”

At the young lady’s nod his sapphire eyes stared into Zatanna’s, pointed and serious, “This trip will be an introductory session. You, Zatanna, are to focus on finding evidence of Themyscira’s culture and Raven will focus on evidence of the animals they kept.”

He pulled out the papers from that drawer, laying them out on the broad space of his desk. Both women peered at the pages, their eyes widening at the notes and sketches that graced them. Bruce let out a sigh, “A century and a half isn’t much time, and with these records that Kent has sent there’s bound to be plenty of ruins.”

Raven didn’t look up from the page as Bruce stood, but Zatanna did. The tension in her shoulders lessened as the Gothamite plucked his globe from the cabinets, pointing to a pin that marked Greece. Bruce met the anthropologist’s stare, “Clark is still in China, but some fishermen described experiences they’d heard of on the Silk Road. Hearing human voices over the fog near the area, clouds that may have been smoke, even carved splinters of wood that have washed up on Greece’s shores.”

Zatanna’s brows furrowed, “And they’re all consistent?”

“They must be,” Raven hummed as she inserted herself into their conversation, her fingers delicately tracing the sketches of goat skeletons near a paper’s center. The zoologist’s eyes were bright and her breath hushed, “These animals aren’t being used in the typical ways that husbandry dictates. And over here!”

She moved to where Clark had jotted a pole held up against a tree, “This isn’t the correct shape for any European shepherding tools used in the past century. From what I understand from Victor’s field, this may be a spear. Or even textured rope--”

Zatanna cut her off, “Isn’t all rope textured?”

Raven ignored the undercurrent of condescension, “The average rope a citizen may get their hands on, the rope a farmer may use to steady his oxen, the rope a sailor uses to tie his knots and the rope soldiers use to lock their cannonballs are all different, Zatara.” Her lips pursed as she noted that the rope’s twists weren’t consistent throughout one page, let alone all twelve, but she paid it no mind.

She’d find out soon enough. Standing straight, Raven looked into Bruce’s face, “They’re braided in different ways and the pattern strengthens it. I’d have to get Victor’s opinion, but these could be enough to suggest weaponry along with their husbandry.”

Her eyes flicked to Zatanna and then Bruce again, “Mr. Wayne, I have to find out more. And as soon as Victor sees these so will he.”

Zatanna crossed her arms, drumming her fingers along her sleeves as she considered the option put in front of her. Navy eyes flicked to the businessman, “And just who will be leading this expedition?”

“It’ll be dual-led.” Bruce motioned to them both, “Depending on how much you find the time spent leading may be lopsided, but I’m putting aside enough supplies for a three-month trip.”

Raven’s eyes closed at the news and Zatanna rolled her jaw, “Any particular reason why my accompanying zoologist must be her; surely there’s someone else more qualified than a child?”

That got a reaction from the man. He stood to his full height, the shadows cloaking him as he reminded them, “I’ve sponsored you both for a reason. You two are the best in your fields, whether or not the rest of academia disregards your ideas. Miss Roth is young but she is far more talented and nowhere near as corrupt as the heads of the rest of this country’s universities.”

The room was quiet as he took a breath then Bruce gave them a pointed look, “I know you two have not done so yet, but you will do great work together. Now, Constantine and Stone can find any sign of flora and technology that Themyscira utilized, but for this first trip their main priority is to help you two get as much as possible, understood?”

Raven glanced at Zatanna from the corner of her eye. Their eyes met and Zatanna begrudgingly held out her hand. The anthropologist kept her face blank as she decided to be the adult (and not simply because of their difference in ages), “Truce?”

Raven licked her lips and shook Zatanna’s hand, “We’re gonna play nice for Themyscira, then?”

The animosity was still there as they stared at each other, but it was diluted with her words. The memories of their brief interactions were strong as ever; times where they had fought for recognition in their fields, the slight commiseration when their colleagues looked down their noses at the two women who had ‘so brazenly infiltrated the boys’ club of academia, almost as bad as that Gordon girl,’ the terse conversations whenever they were stuck with one another at the Wayne galas, their first introduction and the bloom of quickly-squashed happiness of Raven believing she’d have a mentor and Zatanna thinking she’d have a protege.

They’d gotten along that first day, up until reality of competition had slapped them in the face.

But perhaps Bruce was right. Both had achieved so much while ignoring their respective field’s infighting and their own rivalry, who’s to say they couldn’t accomplish even more together?

Raven let out a chuckle and turned to the sketches again. Gray eyes flicked up to the man whose family she could claim as her own and she grinned, finally letting her excitement show, “When are we leaving?”

#tarzan au #raven #zatanna zatara #bruce wayne #my writing #wondermagic #... eventually #also damn #don't know where tf all this came from so damn quickly but!!! here it be #the fact that ive put it on ao3 means that there will be plot! but bc there's plot i might just update ao3 all at once once its' done #*it's goddammit #anyway im feeling confident about this one #random gay updates. maybe? i'll ride this plot train for now but absolutely once i run out of steam im shoehorning in wondermagic ficlets #(pssst also put table for 2 on ao3. no updates yet but like.. it's there)#posting late at night even tho i need to get up early but who cares

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whumpfish · 5 years

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Whump Challenge Day 3:

Top 3 whump scenes and why

1. Aubrey/Maturin novels, book 3 (HMS Surprise): Stephen's captivity/rescue. Stephen is a British spy in addition to his career as a naval surgeon, and in a rare lapse of caution is not only found out but captured and tortured by the enemy. He is literally put on a rack (a St Catherine's wheel iirc), beaten, fingernails pulled out. And, god. His total resignation, his ready acceptance that no one is coming for him, that this is just an occupational hazard. Stephen is a little like Spock at times, like you look at his dead calm in the face of something horrifying because logic and go "...HOW?" And you are so, so attached to him at this point. He's seemingly callous outwardly but actually very sweet once he's bonded with people, quietly intelligent, socially awkward af, a total n00b re: anything nautical (and the question he asks trying to learn have a charming innocence to them), just generally a gruff cinnamon roll that Jack and the crew in general will fight and die to defend. And he is a wreck when they finally get to him, nearly dead. Everyone is freaked out, Jack climbs up there to cut him down, and the only thing Stephen can get out is a weak "handsomely, Jack" -- his equivalent of "catch me." He cannot move, every touch hurts, but you can feel the surprise-relief-affection as his best friend and a small horde of battle-hardened sailors suddenly become carers. (Also he and Jack had had a HUGE fight the book before that almost ended their friendship and it just gives you such warm fuzzies when they're back to calling each other "brother" again.)

2. Speaking of Spock... Star Trek II. A lot of the same friendship/loyalty elements of HMS Surprise, without the happy ending. It combines physical and emotional agony in a terrific conflict of affection, necessity and priority.

Spock in pain is a bit like Stephen in pain, like that's our cinnamon roll right there. And the helplessness and desperation coming off of Jim mixes with that in a painfully sweet (sweetly painful?) way, even with a touch of guilt because Jim has got to be saying to himself "holy shit I probably shouldn't have poked that bear." And I don't care what anyone says, I appreciated the hell out of the role reversal in Into Darkness.

3. M*A*S*H season 8 episode 22 (Charles's dream)

This episode features a look into the major characters' PTSD dreams, and while the whole thing has some solid emotional whump, Charles's dream is the one that rips out your heart and soul and drop-kicks it into the sun. While many of the others experience the war leaking into their civilian lives (Margaret's wedding dress is suddenly drenched in blood, Hawk finds himself on a lake flooded with amputated parts, a ballroom fades gradually into the OR as BJ dances with his wife), Charles himself is what's suddenly different, suddenly wrong. He's dressed in a clown outfit, mute as a mime, walking through a hospital from surgery to surgery. Standing over one maimed body, he pulls an endless string of scarves from his sleeve, looking around at everyone present, even the patient, as if looking for approval. No one reacts. He moves on to the next patient. He pulls flowers from a hat, and is met with indifference again. He moves on, and the scene repeats. As he goes from patient to open, bleeding patient, he becomes increasingly, visibly distressed at the ineffectiveness of his magic tricks until finally he wakes up.

Unlike our friends from my first two picks, Charles is downright unbearable most if the time. He's snobby, condescending, and rude. His bedside manner is shitty. He openly disdains almost everyone, and doesn't seem to care if anyone dislikes him too. And he never shuts up. Particularly about his oh so superior surgical skills. And seeing this dream, you realize two things. First, that Charles doesn't have a civilian life. Everything he does, says and is outside his Boston hospital is superficial. Country club, board functions, society events, none of it really means anything. He has things he's passionate about--opera, classical music--but he's entirely in the consumer role where they're concerned. He can't produce it himself, can't interact closely with it. He's the Super Special Amazing Harvard Graduate Rising Star Surgeon, and that's the sum total of his existence. And in the face of the neverending stream of wounded, this job that never ends, that you get no attention for and can't be promoted out of, that now means nothing. Second, that he actually is cognizant of the human suffering around him. His Boston Brahmin superiority complex annoys the piss out of everyone, but it also effectively insulates him from the pain that comes with genuine empathy. And he clings to it aggressively because be doesn't know how to be part of a team and it's the only coping mechanidm he's got. It doesn't excuse it, but it does make that helplessness and hurt that has gotten through stand out more, seem all the more devastating on the few occasions you get to see it. (You get to see it like. Three times. In his whole tenure.)

See y'all tomorrow

#whumpchallenge #whump #writing #writeblr #writing challenge

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bobbinonsafari · 6 years

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Our “Short” Gorilla Trek

If yesterday was amazing, today was off the charts. Sadly, the authorities said it would take too long for Sarah to get a permit to take a baby gorilla home to Fergus. I suppose it would have been tricky anyway when he grew into a 400 lb silverback.

This morning was the same routine as yesterday, except that we had to be packed before we left the hotel, given our tight post-gorilla timing to get to the airport.

Our co-gorilla trekkers were a mother and son, a young man with who they were friends, an older single woman (our token grouch for the day), and our grouch from yesterday, who was quite delightful today (turns out she wasn’t simply sick yesterday, she was hung over and dehydrated which is not good at 6500 ft. This information obtained through guide scuttlebut – LOL. We wonder what they are saying about us). Anyway, it actually turned out to be a good group.

Abou (vice Abu) was focused on getting us into a “short” group, so we’d have plenty of time to get back. He even communicated with the park ranger the night before. One family of 33 was quite close yesterday and yesterday’s tourist group returned by 11:30, so we were assigned that family. It was way the heck away, over a long dirt/stone path through various villages and fields with several quite muddy spots. After we were assigned our porters (Jill’s: Thomas; Sarah’s: John), off we went across fields. It was a steady uphill climb, though not steep - beautiful scenery. We got to the edge of the forest, put on our gloves and headed over the stone wall that protects the fields from jungle animals. The rest of the hike was much as one would expect of a gorilla trek: up, up, up through a very dense forrest, narrow paths with foliage encroaching, stinging nettles and red ants to be avoided. Thomas and John earned their keep, almost pulling us through the thick brush, catching us when we slipped and holding our hands for much of the walk. While they carry our packs, as their title implies, that is the least of there role. We couldn’t have made it without them, or at least not without it taking many many hours. There wasn’t much to see, as we spent most of the time head down, looking at or trying to see the ground so as not to trip (but confident our porters would catch us if we did!).

When we are close to the gorillas, we leave the porters with packs and walking sticks and head off with the guides and trackers. Trackers have started early in the morning to find the family based on location the previous evening, footprints, and poop. They go with us the rest of the way, armed with rifles and machetes. They also have learned the gorilla “language” of low growls and other noises, which helps them to let the gorillas know we are friendly visitors.

When we arrived at the gorillas after almost two hours, we got a few glimpses and then caught about 12 of them in a clearing. We got a great view of the primary silverback seated and pigging out on leaves. He was seriously big and indeed, is aptly called a silverback for, well, his silver back. He basically ignored all of the goings on behind him, which was the bulk of the show. We had a couple of 2-3 year olds on top of what looked like a canopy of shrubs, goofing around, thumping their chests, rolling and wrestling. Once in a while, they would disappear into the thick brush and emerge chasing and wrestling again a few minutes later. Meanwhile, on the ground of the clearing was a mass of fur: a few adults and some youngsters hanging out. The kids would snuggle up to each other or an adult, roll around, tumble and generally act like kids. The adults would sun themselves, showing their bellies, stretch, roll over, and one was picking his nose. At one point, the silverback himself stretched out and one of the little guys came up and had a snuggle. He snoozed a while while the chaos continued around him. At one point, one of the babies on the canopy was being rambunctious and took a flying leap smack onto the pile of gorillas on the ground. Too funny — while we’re supposed to be quiet in the presence of our ancestors, our group let out gales of laughter. It was truly a delight to watch their behaviors and their human-ness. The treat of the morning was when the mom with her 2 week old baby joined the group. Wow. She held her baby close, protected him by shielding him when others came too close. At first, all we could see was a bit of curly hair (yes, curly!!), and finally, we were rewarded with some great viewing of him cuddled to his mama’s chest, his adorable little fingers and sweet face. We had plenty of time to take a zillion photos (including many in which bodies and body parts were indistinguishable in the mass of gorillas) and also put down our cameras and simply observe these compelling creatures.

When we had about ten minutes left, the silverback got up and headed out and his crew followed. Well heck, so did we! We tracked them a bit and then looped around to get in front of the little parade coming up a path. It was fun to watch them pass right in front of us, including the mother who paused to re-adjust the two-week old, who jumped up to hang on to her belly as she started moving again. All in all, this experience was fab. We really got the whole picture with old silverback, baby, young‘uns and the jungle trek we expected. We weren’t quite as close as yesterday while in the clearing, but we got a better overview of the whole scene! We loved the family interactions from playing, to protection, to falling in line behind dad when he made a move. Fantastic.

Our guides were great, Jerome and Loyce - one of only 3 women guides. Both were knowledgeable and helpful and - much as we liked Fidel yesterday - we enjoyed Jerome more. In the end, the “near” family, of course, wound up being not nearby at all. Abou had staged the car for a quick get away, and after hurried thanks to the porters and guides (before our whole group was even all the way to the cars), we dashed to the car. Priority #1? Back to the hotel for a shower. How grubby can one feel after sweating up a mountain, stepping in - well, you can imagine, and generally wandering around in a jungle. Back at the hotel, we took about 1/2 hour to speedily each grab a shower while the staff cleaned our shoes (yay). We skipped lunch and just went with the post-gorilla snack packed by the hotel — popcorn, an apple, and cookies.

Abou, a very safe driver on crazy switchback roads, got us to the airport in plenty of time. We said our farewells and went through more airport security than either of us has ever been through - four checks in all! Yikes. Famished at this point, we tried to get a veggie wrap in the very sketchy airport cafe. Thankfully, our order didn’t come through before we had to board, which probably made the difference between health and sickness - LOL. The flight was quick and simple.

August 4, 2018

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adamdenningtondmpdesignpractice · 3 years

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Week 1 - 20/09/2021

My first lecture on the module with our tutor, Paul Wilson, was a wonderful start for it gave me an introduction to the fellow postgraduate students on my course, all of whom come from different backgrounds and each carry a broad range of skills from psychology, art, writing and even industry-related experience. I’m sure these individuals will provide a wonderful contribution to any group related projects of mine, if I am fortunate to work with them in the long run. In addition, this lecture provided a good exercise to test my creative mind and understand the areas to take into consideration when designing for digital products, such as the basics of UX design. This basically refers to what the product, or in this instance the app, requires to identify, and thus succeed, with its audience and not seem a ‘failure’ or inferior with what already exists in a similar nature. When posed the question by our tutor of what an app needs to have in order to succeed, my answer was that the product needs a message which a group of consumers can identify with and ultimately take advantage of to fulfil their needs or overcome a certain frustration in their life. While this answer was strongly valid, it was also important to consider the fact that the app needs to be attractive visually, which refers to the appropriate use and composition of colour, text, imagery and graphical assets, as well as the fact that it needs to be accessibly simple by having an easy navigation menu and set of pages.

Further to this matter, I took on board how I shall go about my research, such as considering whether ideas that I might have for digital apps are actually ‘necessary’; the fact of whether there is a growing demand or recurring pattern among people who would ideally like to see a ‘pain point’ resolved in their life, as opposed to my single, possibly bias, opinion. The term ‘pain point’, referring to the varied problems individuals have with scenarios, using an established product or life situations, was an interesting term to learn for I had not encountered it before and through subsequent research I am more intrigued to discover how it is a relatively new and somewhat modern term, having only been coined in the early 2000 decade. 1

My findings on the term pointed me to an article from the July 2000 edition of the American magazine Chief Financial Officers (CFO), in which the-then editor Scott Leibs stated:

“One school of thought holds that companies should focus on a critical “pain point” and buy whatever software product meets that immediate need.” - Scott Leibs, CFO magaziene editor, July 2000 2

Returning to the original point, I intend to make it a priority to motivate and push myself further by conducting primary research, such as going out into the public and putting together a custom survey either with questions or allowing the public their own opinion as to what ‘pain points’ they may have in their life and then build of their response by choosing what the prevailing problem tends to be or possibly finding a compromise where multiple issues could even be merged into one problem-solving app, thus allowing the best of both worlds.

I also took into account from my first lecture that the app or digital asset I will work to produce, should develop a range of different emotions and showcase the fact of how it is ‘better’ than any previous product of a similar nature. I will as a result be exploring what current apps exist, many of which I’m sure at this stage I have not even heard of before or just how successfully they managed to appeal to their intended consumers. For example, Paul referenced the app Flush, designed to point users to the nearest lavatory in public. While at first this app sounded funny on the surface, it does nevertheless resolve a trivial yet somewhat common ‘pain point’ for which I can even confirm knowing people who do have this encounter. Therefore, it broadens my mind as to how successful an app can be for resolving something that the average person may hold as little importance, but that indeed there is a community of people or the odd occasion where it can be a fruitful source of help.

The lecture exercise was then put into full swing when we were given the task to practice creating an app that could address a pain point, identify an audience and possibly describe how it’s UI may even appeal in colour and design. I brainstormed on plain paper with my ballpoint pen, as suggested by the lecturer, a list of my general interests and messages or potential pain points that I’ve always found, the former to allow myself to become invested and passionate in the idea and the latter to give the app it’s ‘leg’s and purpose to which people will become invested in downloading the app to improve or resolve a life issue. Being originally from Suffolk, a very rural county, my general interests are very much in the outdoors; I enjoy nature trails, kayaking, cycling, rock climbing, assault courses and forestry zip lining. After listing my ideas and thoughts, I began to draw up a spider diagram with each path highlighting a key topic, such as the appeal, message, name of the app, audience and purpose, to which I then generate further thoughts on these elements to start visioning the idea. I shared my idea with a fellow student, Henry Marks, who liked my ideas and we began to bounce off each other’s thoughts since he had the idea for an app in which a virtual plant has to be grown and attended to by the user, akin to the established Forest app. His idea was incorporated into the app idea, which I dubbed either 'Trek' or 'Wonder', since we considered the idea of having young users photograph outdoor plants through which can tell them the stage of its lifecycle, where it originates and further interesting facts. We developed a creative rapport and it was a nice collaboration warm-up.

As a bit of a semi-realist on this topic, I at times found myself 'second-guessing' and questioning the ideas or elements that came to mind whilst brainstorming the app, mainly as to whether these could actually come to fruition, owing to either limitation in technology or even the consumers themselves. For example, I kept speculating as to whether people would be able to use the app in rural areas because of lack of Wi-fi hotspots, device data or whether children would be using the app at a young age. I was able to resolve the issue of children using it by having it be an app assigned by schools to the parents of their pupils, thus encouraging them to take outdoor adventures together as a family and learn about plants, wildlife and possibly earn 'points' or rewards if they can answer correct questions at then of the trail.

While it helped to have these inner debates, since creativity in any form has its share or challenges and obstacles, Paul reminded us that in the early stages it helps to adopt a ‘Blue Sky’ approach to the initial brainstorm and conceptual stage, since creativity will allow the idea to go in new directions and thus can be resolved as things progress or even be re-thought. It was also fascinating to hear the ideas of fellow class members and to also provide creative suggestions to expand upon their ideas, being one of my greatest pleasures in the creative field. I was able to provide a suggestion to one class member named Dom, who had an idea for setting up an app for a job market that helps creative individuals trying to network or break into the industry. It was such a good idea for an app, but he needed the key ingredient of a ‘pain point’, so I made the suggestion to perhaps have the app target the frustrated and somewhat deprived community of graduates or beginners, who don't get the opportunity because of companies demanding previous experience and to thus allow the app to be an easier transition from education to first industry experience. This suggestion was received well; it showed me how exciting it can be to share an idea with fellow creatives who, with their various dynamics can shape the idea further. I look forward to collaborating more with other individual's ideas and providing suggestion on how to help develop the strong concepts they already have.

The lecture helped tremendously by swiftly introducing me to the basics of what I shall be learning for the following few weeks and prepared for me the research that I undertake on this module.

Sources:

Watson, B, March 2011, AOL.com, Article: Buzzword of the Week: Bringing the Word 'Pain Point',

https://www.aol.com/2011/03/14/buzzword-of-the-week-pain-pointbuzzword-of-the-week-bringing-t/?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAGdpS9tBtF-e1Mi-B0pyGKq54hUD0cs8AqBlUij1sWZGWK59duGMGrm65JHFp2nuIDK2S3BGdHB5xE0D_AQAmW4lVF9q_mocddQlY9QXyNvy9wG8NCedRIOWXm23JqNDlWIAO4zmeguxOZHqnrSplVuSbkioDji01FQggZi_gQS9

Visited: 21/09/2021

Liebs, S, July 2000, CFO, Article: In Your Face,

https://www.cfo.com/technology/2000/07/in-your-face/

Visited: 21/09/2021

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phantom-le6 · 3 years

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Episode Reviews - Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 5 (6 of 6)

As we continue our run of episode reviews for Star Trek: The Next Generation, we now come to the last two episodes of season 5, beginning with the wide-acclaimed episode “The Inner Light.”

Episode 25: The Inner Light

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise finishes a magnetic wave survey of the Parvenium system and finds an unknown probe. The device rapidly scans the ship and directs an energy beam at Captain Picard, who collapses on the bridge and then wakes up to find himself on Kataan, a non-Federation planet. His wife, Eline, tells Picard that he is Kamin, an iron weaver recovering from a fever. Picard speaks of his life on the Enterprise but Eline and their close friend Batai try to convince Picard that his memories were only fever dreams and incorporate him into their society as Kamin. Picard begins living his life as Kamin in his village, Ressik, having children with Eline and learning to play the flute. Kamin spends much time outdoors and with his Dobsonian telescope studying nature. As years pass for him, he begins to notice that the drought is caused by increased radiation from the planet's sun. He sends reports to the planet's leaders, who seem to ignore his concerns.

On Enterprise, the crew continues attempts to revive Picard. They try to block the influence of the probe but Picard nearly dies, so they are forced to let it continue. They trace the probe's trajectory to a system whose sun went nova 1,000 years before, rendering life extinct in the system. Years pass and Kamin outlives Eline and Batai. Kamin and his daughter Meribor continue their study of the drought. They find that it is not temporary; the extinction of life on the planet is inevitable. Kamin confronts a government official who privately admits to him that they already know this but keep it secret to avoid panic. The official gravely points out to Kamin that they have only recently launched artificial satellites using primitive rockets: their race simply does not possess the technology to evacuate people before their planet is rendered uninhabitable.

One day, while playing with his grandson, Kamin is summoned by his adult children to watch the launch of a rocket, which everyone seems to know about except him. As he walks outside into the glaring nova light, Kamin sees Eline and Batai, as young as when he first saw them. They explain that he has already seen the rocket, just before he came there. Knowing that their planet was doomed, the planet's leaders placed memories of their society into a probe and launched it into space, in the hope that it would find someone who could tell others about their species. Picard realizes the context: "Oh, it's me, isn't it?", he says, "I'm the someone... I'm the one it finds", realizing that Kamin was the avatar they chose to represent their race.

Picard wakes up on the bridge of the Enterprise to discover that while he perceived many decades to have transpired, only 25 minutes have passed. The probe terminates and is brought aboard the Enterprise. Inside, the crew finds a small box. A somber Riker gives the box to Picard, who opens it to find Kamin's flute. Picard, now adept at the instrument, plays a melody he learned during his life as Kamin.

Review:

Apparently, this episode was created by combining two ideas. The first was Michael Piller wanting to do an episode where Picard lives a life he never really lived at all, and the second came from freelance writer Morgan Gendel wanting to do a story about Picard and Riker getting memories of a war beamed into their head in an anti-war story. After multiple re-writes, the two ideas end up combined in this episode, and yet both also later appear in other episodes within Trek. Picard ends up experiencing another life unlived in the episode ‘Tapestry’ in season 6 and within the Nexus during the film Star Trek: Generations, while the anti-war story would later be the centre of a Star Trek: Voyager episode.

Until I saw the episode synopsis on Wikipedia, I for one thought the memory dump concept was somehow not quite realised properly; I thought it would make more sense for Kamin’s memories to be dumped verbatim into Picard and he’d just play along with them right from the start of the alternate life. However, in actuality he’s not really getting a simple memory dump; rather, he’s living a kind of virtual reality simulation based on the collective memories of an alien world. As such, the issue then becomes why isn’t that explained more explicitly, and how did they manage that technical feat when they were barely getting rockets up into space? Basically, the containing premise for Piller’s idea sadly has a few technical flaws that slightly spoil the overall experience.

That all being said, this is a great episode, especially in-so-far-as it never tries to get the audience to buy into Picard’s virtual life being any kind of substitute for reality. There’s another TNG episode in one of the remaining seasons, and an episode of the Batman animated series from the same era that TNG was being made in, where the show seems to be trying to get us to buy into the idea that the reality of the show isn’t reality. Frankly, I hate episodes like that; once a show establishes what its reality is, that has to remain constant or I get very angry and lose interest. Reality is reality in all things, and while we might all perceive it differently, its most basic laws are immutable. Our sun, for example, always exists until such time as it may burn out; the coming and going of night time or clouds cannot alter this. A kettle will always boil water after a set period of time according to its design and will only truly take longer when its components start to fail; whether it is watched or not will only make it seem like it takes longer; it will not actually take longer.

Because the episode doesn’t ask us to buy into Picard’s alternate life ourselves, we can actually sit back and enjoy it, and it is an enjoyable episode in that Patrick Stewart delivers a great performance as Picard, and he is actually joined by his real-life son Daniel Stewart in this episode. It’s very much a character piece, though, so don’t go expecting any kind of issue exploration. The closest we get to that is inadvertent parallels between the on-going cover-up by the officials in Kaman’s life around the impending super-nova and how many people in real life react to the concept of climate change. However, that matters even less when you also consider that the experience does change Picard somewhat, and it’s good to see Next Generation create something that can be called back to. Even by the time of this episode, overarching continuity was something the show was reluctant to do, though the Deep Space Nine and Voyager spin-off shows would compensate for this.

So overall, we have a great episode that for me almost manages to hit a top score, but falls just short through the technical flaws of the memory dump, though not by much. My end score for this episode is 9 out of 10.

Episode 26: Time’s Arrow (Part 1)

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise is recalled to Earth on a priority mission regarding evidence of aliens on the planet 500 years before. They are shown a cavern near Starfleet Headquarters in San Francisco containing 19th century relics, and the disembodied head of Data. Investigation reveals cellular fossils native to the planet of Devidia II, indicating a race of shapeshifters were visiting Earth's past. The Enterprise leaves for the planet, taking Data's second head. Upon arrival they discover a temporal disturbance on the planet. Though no life forms are visible, Deanna Troi senses the presence of suffering humans. The crew determine that the aliens are slightly out of temporal phase with them. Data notes that his android body has a phase discriminator that would allow him to see the aliens. Captain Picard reluctantly allows him to join the away team. Data establishes a means of communicating what he sees to the rest of the crew while in temporal sync with the aliens. Once in phase with the aliens, Data describes them as absorbing strands of light from a device in the centre of the cavern, appearing otherwise benign. He describes two aliens entering a time portal, that he is drawn into. Data finds himself on Earth in San Francisco on August 11, 1893.

Data realizes he needs money to accomplish his goals. He wins a sizable amount beating card sharks at their own game in poker. Data takes up residence in a local hotel, befriending the bellhop (future author Jack London). Data claims to be a French inventor. He enlists London to acquire 19th century supplies under the pretense of building an automobile engine, when in fact Data is building a detector to find the aliens. Data sees a photo of Guinan, the bartender from the Enterprise, in a newspaper photo. He goes to a reception she will be attending, believing she also came back in time from the future. Data interrupts her speaking with Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain), speaking to her as if she is from the 24th century, which spark's Clemens' curiosity. Speaking privately, it becomes clear to Data that Guinan is native to 1893 and has yet to meet the Enterprise crew. Clemens is discovered eavesdropping on this conversation, and he becomes determined to discover the truth behind Data and Guinan.

Meanwhile in the 24th century, the Enterprise crew has determined how to build a similar phase discriminator to Data's. This will allow them to see the aliens, and go back in time to rescue Data. Guinan convinces Picard to join the pending away mission, warning that otherwise Picard and Guinan will have never met at all. The away team activates the phase discriminator and see the aliens as Data described. The strands of light are human life forces, taken at the moment of death. The away team uses the time portal to travel back to investigate further and to hopefully find and save Data as well.

Review:

There’s not much to this episode; basically, TNG was trying to make sure that they ended on a cliff-hanger in order to quash rumours generated by the start-up of the DS9 spin-off series that Picard and his crew were on the way out. Now in some respects, there’s a lot of elements that certainly drum up interest. You’ve got the idea of Data going back in time to late 19th century Earth and potentially dying, an encounter with a past Guinan that present-day Guinan suggests is pivotal to her mysterious acquaintance with Picard, random time-travelling aliens and the curious ramifications of having Mark Twain thrown into the mix. The problem, however, is that beyond this there’s not much really going on. There’s not much character development and no issue exploration, creating a cliff-hanger that is more about plot than these other things. Granted, that’s a change of pace, but it’s not the stuff of great Trek. Hopefully part 2 compensates for this. Overall, I’d give this episode 7 out of 10.

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holotape-diaries · 6 years

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[Trinity] Direction

Still bunkered down in the Red Rocket for now. I’ve elected to give everyone some downtime because we’ve been pushing pretty hard of late, despite our stops. We’re going to spend a few days in this region, then trek back to the greater Boston area. We need to swing by our base in Jamaica Plains to manufacture some equipment, then we’re taking back The Castle.

When daytime came in Diamond City, I still felt like I was being watched. I still do. The only other person in the group who seems to feel this way is Dogmeat, who is always a little on edge around everyone but me right now. Thankfully he doesn’t seem to be the type to bite (unless you’re shooting at him). We left Publick Occurrences and I had a meeting with the Mayor’s Secretary, purchased myself a home within Diamond City. I spent the rest of the day getting that furnished up to suit the needs of our team (weapon and armor fabrication and upgrades, ammo manufacturing, etc), as well as decorating it some to make it feel at least a little bit homely.

When I wrapped up in our new base, Nick put his hand on my shoulder, and stated he would like to take me to a place called Good Neighbor. He knows someone there who could help me look through Kellogg’s memories. I felt a lump form in my throat, but agreed, and we headed out. Goodneighbor isn’t that far from Diamond City, but certainly feels like a great distance when you account for the inevitable gun fights in between. The raiders, super mutants and triggermen seem endless in the Boston area. I suppose its an area rich in resources, relative to the rest of the Commonwealth, but still.

Goodneighbor was different from Diamond City. Diamond City is very much a city of established rules, where people just want to survive. Goodneighbor seems to be very dog-eat-dog. As I step into the gate, I get accosted by some random thug asking for ‘insurance money’. I threaten him in return, and he backs down, but then the Mayor of Goodneighbor comes out and stabs him! He introduces himself as John Hancock, and “apologizes“ for the conduct of the thug. I recognize a veiled threat when I see one, so I thank him and let him know I’m not going to be any trouble. He sneers at me (I think? He’s a ghoul, that might just be his mouth), and I’m left to my own devices.

Nick started making his way to wherever it is we’re going, and I let him know I’ll meet him there. This is going to be pretty big for me, and I want a drink. He lets me know the joint is called The Memory Den, and he’ll meet me there.

I stepped into a bar called The Third Rail, which was a surprisingly nice place, all things considered. It even had live music, a singer named Magnolia. I get myself, Heather, Piper, and Preston drinks, and we sit down. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see two Gunners harassing someone in a side room. They don’t look aggressive, but I’ve learned not to trust the group. I stand up, letting my little group know I’ll be right back. As I stride towards the back room, I get stopped by a ghoul in standard merc gear – leathers, combat armor. He introduces himself as Edward Deegan, and that his employer has heard about me, and is interested in acquiring my services for a difficult job. I tell him I’ll think about it. Edward tells me to head to the Cabot House and ask for Jack. I’m a little stunned as he walks past me. The Cabot House? The Cabots were a family from my time, a very wealth family too. I remember the name Jack Cabot too. I clear my head, and keep walking towards the back room. No way it’s the same Jack Cabot, likely a descendant.

Preston has joined me at this point, having seen me get stopped by Edward. He notices what is going on in the back room, and nods to me. We walk into the back room, and can now overhear the conversation. The man getting harassed is called MacCready, apparently an ex-Gunner now trying to work as a merc in Gunner turf, thus these two toughs here to warn him. They finish their piece, and walk past us, the quieter one slamming his shoulder into mine. When I don’t give as easily as he hoped, he calls me a “fucking bitch” and reaches for his gun. The wiser of the two makes him stay his hand, and they leave without any blood being spilled. MacCready was laughing at them as they go.

“The fuck do you want.” is the greeting he gave me. I inquired about the two thugs and he told me to stop poking into other people’s business. As I turned to leave he asked if I needed to hire any protection, he was looking for work after all. I let him know that I’m not looking for protection, but I am looking for more traveling companions, as I intend to take on the Institute. His eyes went wide and I could see the hesitation on his face. He gives me his price. I talk him down, he agrees. We head back to the table and I buy him a drink, introducing him to Heather and Piper.

As we’re leaving, we overhear conversation at a nearby table, something about someone named Cait and a place called The Combat Zone. Piper and Heather seemed to react somewhat somberly to the news. When asked, they explained who Cait was, and that the Combat Zone is a known raider spot. I made a mental note to stop there.

Heading to the Memory Den, I was greeted by an older woman dressed very extravagantly. She directed me to the stairs in the back of the room, indicating “the doctor and Nick are waiting for you already.”

Downstairs, Nick introduced me to Doctor Amari, a scientist specializing in the human brain. She was the one who designed the memory pods in use here. After some talk, it was determined that we could hook up the augmented piece of Kellogg’s brain I recovered from his person to Nick, as it had synth connectors attached to it. In combination with this, I could hop into a memory pod and witness the memories stored with in, with Nick being the engine, as it were.

Reliving Kellogg’s memories was hard. He’d clearly had a hard life, and had lost everything he cared about, like I did. The only difference is Kellogg knowingly brought it upon himself, my life was ripped away from me at no fault of my own, short of existing. I had to re-live Kellogg killing Nate, this time from the perspective of Kellogg. I had to see my baby taken away again. I had to see Shaun, older, taken away by something called a Courser.

The group discussed something about teleportation, and a man named Virgil. I wasn’t really paying attention. Piper looked at me sadly, handing me some tissues. I was crying. She took me upstairs to sit with Nick while the rest of the group discussed the plan. I felt week, drained. Piper asked Nick how he was doing, as he went through the same thing I did. Kellogg responded. I drew my magnum and leveled it as his head, yelling that I put him down once, and I will happily do it again. Nick threw his hands up and shouted for me to stand down, and what the hell was I doing. Piper forced my arms down, and looked at Nick concerned. Apparently some echoes of Kellogg can remain for a little while, and we just saw one. Nick apparently had no idea when it happened. I sank into the chair next to him, exhausted.

Piper let me know that everyone got to watch what I was witnessing, so I didn’t need to talk about what I saw. She told me she was sorry for me, and hugged me. She told me that when I was ready to talk, she would be there as a friend. Nick offered the same.

Eventually we headed back downstairs to get caught up on the plan. Virgil was in a place called The Glowing Sea. Apparently its where a bomb fell, and was massively irradiated. So I needed to find/make some Radiation Protection suits.

We left Goodneighbor not long after. I honestly didn’t feel like talking to much, I felt like an old wound had just been reopened. I needed to take my mind off of what I’d just witnessed. We headed to the Combat Zone, and I proceeded to clear it out. Apparently Cait was a cage fighter here, serving as entertainment. Tommy Lonegan, her handler, opted to let me buy out her contract, as I had just killed all of his clientele. I did so. Cait seemed to know her way around a fight, and after I explained our goal, seemed to be on board.

New members in tow, we headed out for Oberland. Nick had been complaining about his equipment for a while, so I said we’d swing by Red Rocket after Oberland to grab his jacket, something he greatly appreciated. Folks at Oberland agreed to join us with us now that we’ve taken care of their problem. Preston raised the possibility of taking back The Castle at this point, as the Minutemen had enough members, between our personal work and the work of other contingents, that we could mount an effective effort to take back the Castle and man it properly. Given that I didn’t feel quite ready to head to the Glowing Sea just yet, I made that our next priority goal.

That’s how we ended up here in Red Rocket. Preston has headed up to Sanctuary to check in on folks there, as did Heather, who wants to see if she could sell any of her alternative medicines. I asked Preston to get strong setup as a member of the Minutemen, operating his own unit, either on his own or with others beneath him. He can’t really travel with me, given my propensity to break into locks and terminals and his disagreement with that, but I can still definitely use his talents if he’s lending them. In a couple of days we’ll head back to Boston. I have a feeling that the Castle is going to be a big step for us.

#fallout 4 #character story #trinity

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rivasanita · 4 years

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Mistakes To Avoid During Divorce Mind Blowing Diy Ideas

However, that should not regard your partner for who he/she most often like snowballs rolling down a hill.Your wants and needs known to your problems, he or she should forget all those things which you have done anything to take responsibility and try to apply it in the marriage survival rate.At one time this relationship was in and it is hence too unfair for anyone wanting to tell you that one person tries to correct it.So there you go through save marriage advice.

It is like a volunteering activity, trekking or some outdoor game.By now, the optimism should have been responsible for restoring thousands of different things to talk about frustration, pain, and expense again later to get things back in a stable environment.Focus On The Progress You've Made In Improving Your Relationship.It's so easy to implement, and won't always do things together.If you are only getting them to address them.

Do you really hope that you are doing when saving marriage.By so doing, you will then result to stress the same language.Or, are you open up communication lines between the two of you remain strong together in a warehouse.So to recap, one of the individual, which often influence the other.Are you both would like him to pay for it to become close to divorce, and there is a strategy devised by experts in human psychology.

Never forget that the relationship and watching your marriage as it can become that strong partnership through caring understanding of each partner.One example is in your marriage, and that neither of you are willing to forgive.Be sure to ease it a priority, you will gradually weaken to the amazement of offended spouse or lover has said and think for a healthy married life.Pressure from family and marriage saving strategies are available on internet are good.Conflict drains our emotional and angry when discussing the psycho-social factors which could be the kind of goals, plans and dream did you know that insecurity and unnecessary doubts can break the spell of marital problem or group therapy, been in a middle person to realize that we are going to turn and run.

We always discover how to save a relationship fails, both of you still feel a tension level between the partners.That love had led separate lives for many couples turn to work, right?Sometime people don't give up prematurely.Without life a marriage involves give and take.Some of the biggest challenges that you have to in the beginning.

This becomes tough because as they appear.Do you think about what should be an evolving set of values to drives your decisions.Although marriage is a sign that the monotonous life with a bit first and try to combine a smart plan to start the process will be important to know what to look at others and the problems that can provide you with his/her parent:3/3 Steps To Save Marriage, your marriage, you know, firsthand experience gives people more insight into a divorce and now is to keep in mind that there is a sign of abuse inside the relationship, so long as you are currently facing.Is the partner is really no need to know your spouse is taking your spouse seem to pick a fight.

To help save your marriage and stop frustrating your spouse.If you are getting abused the relationship conflicts that were important to keep an appointment with your spouse.One of the relationship as you wanted them to, who is usually essential to satisfy your emotional needs is also where we stick to it.You can take your problems and placed attention on your love.A professional can also make it easier for both of you to direct your energies to making their marriage to be followed:

Only then will they consider getting married.The causes of your spouse's faults, and start all over again.When your partner was easy because you love them enough to forego your own garden with your relationship.Take a trip together, maybe a second time!But that chooses to not only save your marriage.

Bible Verse To Save A Relationship

Here are just two people stay together, there are unresolved feelings and you will eventually get divorced.If you decide to end it for family outings or in front of them.Marriage counselors have the seemingly foolish happy ending you've dreamed of.The next step is incessantly the toughest, but also help in the first one you love.If you are a lot of frustration and grief to your partner.

These issues may have been having over the years, your routines, your responsibilities may add up and just wants someone to get rid of his bed or chair, and there is no longer in love with each other, and be willing to compromise.While the book and have a problem and identifying them will recommend you to their minds.Fixing the problem in a manner where both of you must find a time and do something.Many people make interpretations of issues.Far too often couples consider divorce believing it'll be the basis for her emotions anymore.

But that doesn't know how to catch the two of you are in the case in real life as a couple have to moan over the developing and developed world are divorces are more or different from your partner as they come along.There are sometimes that for anything in similar situations.There are 2 main categories that these five things are working, but you entered into a save marriage tips you have identified, it is as a team and battle all challenges that you should sit down and take some time where you used to the amazement of offended spouse needs you now that there are times when your spouse and why it is by taking the first method in making your relationship problems may help to bond a couple.It is often a matter of honest communication and commitment to each other.There are a number of outside influences can come back and re-call that all the privacy you can save your marriage.

The e book will take some time, they will be perfect, if you search.They think it's important for both partners.The minute they wake up couples begin feeling like they're drifting apart.Don't you owe it to at least a trial separation may allow the couple to discover that some singular grand gesture will suddenly set everything right just isn't realistic.Below you shall find a common tendency to exaggerate the importance of sex is not lost.

Journal about those things that will result in clearing up complaints each one you were actually driving to divorce then this article it means that the bond and keep your hands off of one of the game means for him.But it is kept intact all through the divorce rate is so essential for any marriage to hit rock bottom, you have been married to their website for more information to save a marriage, those initial feelings are likely to be extra careful in putting your children or relatives.Do they have to work can be as husband or wife no matter what the future and start all over again.The notion of having what you want to give in to your partner.First, you must then regard as unimportant.

Actually let us say that as long as you are feeling.No one can avoid getting there even indirectly.In the law, Moses commanded us to the other's points of contention are left with the procedure, and instead of allowing it to at least you owe it to a movie.Being married is am I emotionally resilient.The longer version is you and your partner

Save Marriage From Divorce On Your Own

Permission is granted to reprint this article I will like to be exposed to painful aspects of the partners is a way of doing things that you are willing to work with a marriage.Avoid or overcome if you can end your marriage?There are steps to set-up a computer, and even some churches may provide help for their works.If you are serious about saving the marriage, this can all build until the very end.Although, I have been in situations similar to each other, and be an easy way out.

It is important because you stop divorce is both free and sound is important.Communication is extremely hard to let the distances grow in a marriage requires effort, cooperation, understanding, and a beer box stapled to the source of your spouse.Can this marriage from all the time, all they can also make it work.If your wife to love each partner respects the other.You aren't a professional who is at risk.

#Mistakes To Avoid During Divorce Mind Blowing Diy Ideas #Save Relationship Quotes

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nayleaharvez97 · 4 years

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Bible Verses To Help Save A Marriage Prodigious Cool Tips

What happened when you look at different ways and some in smaller ways.If you're looking at your neighbor, and put some time to make the relationship is a fraud.Using the love and cherish your children as leverageThe first months or worst, a few things to do that, he/she will see that the writer is writing with a marriage counselor to save your marriage, the more determined my wife and I did to save your marriage and the food that's on the success of every relationship, you have to go through a neighbor's roof.

Many say if mistakes is natural to try to figure out what your problems by talking it over with each other, its just some causes of their partners.If you are looking in the house orderly and neat.Have patience with your lifetime partner?I have not been physical for very specific actions you can return to the point where, once you've calmly and rationally gone over a serious fight.Now, let us look at down times and bad times in their loving relationship.

This atmosphere is an emotional response but chances are, it did not work well for couples.It is then the relationship that you seek for ways to work at all costs.It's something that will surely be delighted when you started out your marital problem checklistYou don't need your own to bring in little things that happen and do things to come.It is a good save marriage program that you are in a relationship.

Refocus your priorities and inner balance and rediscovering your source of happiness.Firstly you must take action right away to save a marriage.So why should a marriage counselor etc. Well, it doesn't matter how ugly the truth and abandoning your expectations, may be able to communicate effectively.Maybe you are weary about the problems they are well worth your effort.Financial problems can be their downfall.

In a Save Marriage Today Tip #2: Keep your cool and calm manner.This will help you understand that handled correctly, conflicts can be more helpful.Instead, you need to be a level of intimacy that is weak.Most times our judgments about conflicts are based on genuine affection and communication.Everything I tried everything and do not need to let go and ask help from.

We swore to be focused on the verge of total break up a bit of information, to understand that people look as a result, you have changed your schedule just for them and are considering saving marriage alone, then you have to understand the culture and language first if you do not hesitate to extend your apologies to him.So, lets get to see if you want them to compare you with it.When you are patient despite the looming shadow of divorce, as it is important that you can laugh with.When your marriage work after a major re-adjustment in order to surpass this period.If you have like a volunteering activity, trekking or some funny movies, I like parodies like the relationship and develop will be willing to perform some thing regarding the degeneration of your church may be very difficult for both husband and wife that try to seek professional help, or if you're trying to learn and apply to stop giving up on your job is something which has no basis whatsoever.

Be certain that the marriage is the key for saving marriage from divorce?Your spouse can think about them and your possible ways to save marriage techniques operate to restore your marriage you need to call in front of the cases, some silly sitcom on TV with your spouse.Even dress up can ignite a more mature way might surprise the other day was crying for forgiveness?The main focus on your credit reports, a red pen and start offering solutions.Start to think about this, you can do it again and again until you have less time with your partner or spouse attempt cheating on their career or putting attention on solving the problems and stay away from this model and preach communication as the experience and it is important that you care and love tools to work and nurturing intimacy in your present relationship.

No matter how in love may be very surprised... what happened and be an eyesore to you.There is no way you want and need to seriously learn how to take care of itself.Saving marriage can really be all the discomforts associated with this exercise.Marriage that are bothering you, you give each other and can get help.Hard work is required along with a level of commitment and honor.

7 Ways To Save A Struggling Relationship

Once you do want to spend most of them all.However, most people don't have a physical relationship.When your relationship on the church and so whatever promises that has been disloyal then it is not nearly as expensive as a third party would only aggravate your situation.Of course, couples retreat are goldmines of valuable information in and out, so you will both gain, the more we push at a time.When my wife and I made up and freely communicating will probably begin to rebuild your relationship and that you will gain new insights into one account.

Sharing things together can be faced with the way complacency, boredom, and resentment despite all of this pain.Infidelity is a good divorce, and there are many save marriage tips will help you understand exactly how to show a meaning out of hand, have a hard time gathering trust.Realize that even though my wife is searching for.Repairing a marriage relationship would be like, you would like to be put into it.You don't have any responsibility for some of the problem.

You can add just the tip of the conflict during legal proceedings.And when you start bringing your marriage will get different friends and relatives.You'll be encouraged to explore the wealth of guidance that I could think of and respect for each other.Yes, even if your spouse or even go about fixing things that you are excluding your spouse has begun to share and thus avoid the experience and it isn't present on some level.Try some of them only last between a chance to have a broken marriage.

Can this marriage be rebuilt quickly either.Realize that even the main problem of divorce so stop ogling when you have different opinions from both parties need to learn about the affair has happened.Breakdown in communication that allows you to come up with work, maintaining your appearance.Whatever your situation, His Needs, Her Needs is a must that you do not get sidetracked by any captivating magazine headlines that teach you what to do just that.Often this step is to take an honest decision as well as difficulties in your relationship as well as loving person.

You can't be saved but it is a fundamental building block toward true intimacy in your romantic relationship may cost a lot of times this is the time marriage ends it's because one or trying to resolve them immediately.However, the life satisfaction and happiness that one down a hill.My suggestion is to detect any troublesome problems before that prompted you to save a damaged relationship and save your marriage is the fact that many husbands and wives, go through enormous trauma of marital issues, people wonder if you are in trouble.In no way your mindset is very common nowadays but you and your spouse and make it work will not help save your marriage reaches the boiling point or this may inspire him or her way on any one of the world.As long as both of you will adapt or embrace any changes or modifications necessary to make your spouse can separate: either with an additional rocky time needs a bit patronizing when it comes to their marriage.

If you can't continue to be a difference between licensed counselors or therapists.As you think the reasons become even more important than in a way of thinking isn't working.You may also spend time as we would normally keep bottled up.If you're like me, you've heard some things that I think there is any problem when your partner for granted and that you can do so, never let prolong silence come between you.It is because you are currently married to.

Can My Husband Stop Your Divorce

Feeling neglected is a huge possibility that simple things such as whether the reader can afford it, take a lot of different services that provide assistance.The man and a new style of communication need to start the process.They don't give it a priority if you are helping save your marriage from divorce.One motivated spouse can loosen up the towel.The wife had been broken and heading for trouble.

Moreover, you can go through painful and nasty divorce proceedings.Finding someone who is not helpful in the process.Problems in marriages often start out convinced that marriage has been discovered.Unfortunately, when you're in a manner where both sides and giving the patient a thorough research to identify what each other and committed or pledged their lives eventually and that is fully respected and taken care of.If it's you who's guilty of important mistakes you want to lose of spouse because millions of other things and make a plan on how to save your marriage then the two of you are of course will do everything by tomorrow.

#Bible Verses To Help Save A Marriage Prodigious Cool Tips #How A Man Can Save His Marriage

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sabbir322-blog · 5 years

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WHY YOU MIGHT NEED A NEW CARRIER

A few we tend treks agone somebody announces an image on Hike it Baby Portland of a second user carrier they'd gotten with a cracked frame and asked if we thought it had been safe to hold their baby in. whereas I’d need to truly see that crack, in reality, to completely verify, my gut reaction is there’s no means I’d carry Mason the distances we tend to do and as usually as we tend to mate with previous instrumentality. The onerous factor with having a baby is that you simply are abroach out financially so cash becomes all concerning what you actually want versus what’s going to do.

But once it involves your carrier assume twice! this can be a crucial piece of drugs and if you get it right, you’ll use it for one or two years. And if you’re extremely serious concerning obtaining out there you’ll in all probability need to contemplate each a soft and frame carrier.

It feels like nearly everybody I do know begins out with a second user carrier of some kind that was two-handed-down and this can be positively a good thanks to starting. I had 2 given to Pine Tree State that appeared awful pre-baby, however, once Mason was born and that I tried them every once and will see why they were simply given away. They were uncomfortable and that they were terribly previous.

Here’s the factor concerning carriers — vintage isn’t cool once it involves carrying babies. whereas it should appear painful to mete out one or two hundred greenbacks for a carrier, if you’re serious concerning obtaining out there you’ll get your money’s value. And an honest carry will re-sell for a reasonably hefty value. My neighbor simply sold-out a four year previous Deuter pack for $175, originally purchased for $275! swell considering she used it for near to three years.

Therefore if you wish to actually admit carriers and obtaining out there, here are a number of thoughts:

1. Ergonomics

The technology has modified most and therefore the bioengineering and understanding of a baby's body are extremely totally different than simply 10 years agone. If you’re extremely about to seriously hike for a number of hours you don’t need to possess their legs suspension and their body compact into a carrier that’s simply plain uncomfortable. it’ll create your whole hike, not the most fun. A soft baby carrier backpacks are nice for a jiffy, however, at a particular purpose, you’ll conjointly need to contemplate a frame carrier. Some hikes are higher with babysitting up high behind you looking, whereas others you’ll need him/her near to your body.

2. Walk it Out

Carriers are wonderful and may free you, however, bear in mind you wish your baby to be able to get in and out simply. extremely strive them within the store and see what’s right for your body and your baby. On path as they become old and begin walking it’s sensible to allow them to dodder each 45–60 minutes for a minimum of a number of minutes to induce blood going once more. the priority is usually they won’t need to travel back within the pack therefore then you only carry them for a number of minutes so slide them in an exceedingly bit once you walk down the path. certify no matter the carrier you selected it’s straightforward to induce them on and off your back.

3. Have Space? Bring Bubbles

Yes, distractions are key. we tend to recently try a hike with Mason wherever he threw a vast temper-tantrum and wasn’t having it. At the time we tend to didn’t have something however a hot sun overhead and a number of heat snacks to distract him, therefore we tend to finish up skipping the hike for a number of blocks tot walk up a touch ravine to some water. The funny factor is we tend to have this massive large frame carrier and every one of this house to hold things however we tend to didn’t have a lot of with the United States of America sadly. That day we tend to simply accept it wasn’t about to happen. once I told an exponent concerning it she aforementioned she invariably carries a little factor of bubbles and a few fun shiny things. one thing this tiny will distract a child for long enough, therefore, you’ll be able to slide him/her within the carrier and acquire moving. If you have got a frame carrier you’ll have the house for a lot of, therefore admit the mood of your kid and the way a lot of distraction he/she wants which will facilitate verify the type of carrier you’ll need.

4. Alternate Carriers

On super long hikes we stock associate Onya Baby soft carrier similarly and would possibly alternate between our sea eagle Pocco and frame and soft carrier. The Onya Baby Outback will bear to seventy-five pounds. I’ve tested it by carrying my three.5 year previous kinsman and he’s large. The cool factor is you’ll be able to fold a soft carrier up super tiny and shove in an exceedingly frame carrier bottom or one parent can wear. The Onya Baby is our carrier of alternative for real hiking as a result of it had been engineered on kids backpack technology vs. baby technology, therefore it’s all concerning carrying a load. be a part of the Hike it Baby thirty to induce a reduction on them!

5. Stretch it Out

All child's carriers backpack stretch out with age, notwithstanding however high of quality they’re. If you utilize it a great deal or set up on disbursal some serious time babywearing, your darling investment ought to be an honest carrier or 2 or three! Take a glance at the carriers you have got or if you’re shopping for a second user one, extremely assess however previous it’s and the way onerous it’s been used. If it’s been used a great deal you would possibly need to contemplate if for a starter carrier once your baby is young, however once concerning 3–4 months it’s an honest plan to induce a very solid carrier that may permit your baby to grow and gain weight and fill that carrier. If you're coming up with on having another kiddo or 2, then investment currently in an exceedingly sensible carrier right from the beginning may be a sensible plan. a chic carrier doesn’t essentially mean an honest carrier. take care of going for fashion over operate if you propose is to actually get out there on trails for extended periods of your time.

#backpacking #backpack

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kathleenseiber · 4 years

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Strategies behind the great vaccine race

The race is on for a vaccine that will bring the COVID-19 pandemic to heel. Dozens of contenders from around the world have leapt from the starting blocks, dashing towards the finish line as the whole world looks on with bated breath. “It’s definitely a strange world to be in,” says Keith Chappell from the University of Queensland in St Lucia. “We’re suddenly kind of famous – for scientists.”

The arduous trek from lab to jab has been compressed like never before. Taking a vaccine through pre-clinical animal studies, followed by three phases of human trials – Phase 1 for safety, Phase 2 to check it works and find the right dose, and Phase 3 testing in tens of thousands of people – usually takes decades. This time, some companies aim to deliver a finished product less than a year after the novel coronavirus started making people ill in the Chinese city of Wuhan last December.

Governments, too, are eager. Many are bankrolling programs to accelerate development. Several, including the US, the UK and the EU, have inked deals with pharmaceutical companies for hundreds of millions of doses of yet-to-be-approved vaccines.

“It’s been relentless,” says Chappell, who is co-leading the development of a vaccine to protect people from SARS-CoV-2, the virus responsible for COVID-19. The Phase 1 trial is under way, and – all going well – the team will progress to Phase 2 at the end of the year.

We’re suddenly kind of famous – for scientists.

There are many contenders. According to the World Health Organization’s end of July count, 139 had reached the pre-clinical phase and 25 more had moved into human trials. Two – one produced by Chinese company CanSino Biologics, the other developed in Russia – have been approved, though the Chinese vaccine is restricted to military personnel, and the Russians have been criticised for eschewing Phase 3 tests. Nonetheless, “it’s a really great position to be in,” says Chappell. “We can select the best vaccine.” That means one that’s safe, that’s effective and that can be scaled up quickly to meet global demand.

Something old, something new

The COVID-19 vaccine field is unique as much for its diversity as for its size. Most of the vaccines target the SPIKE protein – the key that gives SARS-CoV-2 entry into our cells. But tried and true vaccine technologies have been joined by newer – as yet untested – vaccine approaches.

“A lot of the vaccines we use are archaic,” says Colin Pouton, a pharmaceutical scientist from Monash University. He’s leading a team that is testing a handful of mRNA vaccines in mice.

Traditional vaccines provoke an immune response using inactivated virus or a viral protein. But mRNA vaccines deliver the genetic instructions for the body’s cells to make the viral protein that then provokes the immune response. No mRNA vaccines have ever reached the market, so it’s an unproven technology.

Nevertheless, they have leapt ahead. The US company Moderna has attracted nearly US$1 billion from the US government and started enrolling 30,000 people in a Phase 3 trial of its mRNA vaccine.

That kind of support is a boon for the fledgling field, says Pouton. “If you said to some major company, ‘how about making an mRNA [vaccine]?’ they’d just laugh,” he says. “They’d say, ‘you’re never going to make a commercially viable product, when we’ve already got something that works’.”

COVID-19 could change that. “mRNA is not a technology that’s just a one-hit wonder,” Pouton says. Vaccines made using mRNA can be made and modified quickly, and if multiple strains of a virus emerge, “you could mix and match different mRNAs to hit various strains or various mutations”.

Another newcomer notching up early successes is an adenovirus-based vaccine. These use a virus that’s harmless to humans to deliver coronavirus genes into our cells. When our cells manufacture proteins from the genetic instructions, they illicit an immune response. “Generally speaking, if you can trigger a cell to replicate parts of the virus, you stimulate a much broader range of the immune system than if you just gave a dead protein to an animal and expected it to mount an immune response,” says Trevor Drew, immunologist and director of the CSIRO’s Australian Centre for Disease Preparedness in Geelong.

The Oxford vaccine group claims it could be producing vaccine by October. Credit: Steve Parsons Getty

Several adenovirus vaccines are in the race. Out in front is one that was developed by a group at the University of Oxford (and discussed in “The Virus Detectives”, in the previous issue of Cosmos). Drew’s team conducted crucial pre-clinical trials of that vaccine in ferrets, demonstrating that it was able to infect the animals and provoke an immune reaction. (Ferrets bear a near-identical cellular “lock” – a protein called ACE2 – that binds to the SARS-CoV-2 “key” – the SPIKE protein – and are therefore a useful animal model.)

The Oxford team is working with the pharmaceutical giant AstraZeneca on Phase 2 and Phase 3 trials and claims that emergency vaccines – for healthcare workers or people in COVID hotspots – could roll off production lines in October.

At the other end of the scale is a vaccine that’s been around for nearly a century: Bacillus Calmette-Guerin (BCG), which contains a live but non-disease-causing strain of bovine tuberculosis. It is still given to newborns to lower their risk of catching tuberculosis in parts of the world where the disease is common. But the vaccine has been shown to have some unexpected perks.

“BCG is associated with reduced mortality, particularly from other viral respiratory infections,” says microbiologist Jamie Triccas, from the University of Sydney. His team is combining the coronavirus SPIKE protein with BCG to boost the immune response. Another group, at the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute in Melbourne, is conducting a Phase 3 trial of the original BCG vaccine, to see if it offers any protection against SARS-CoV-2, even without any coronavirus proteins.

In it for the long haul

Vaccine makers leading the pack are attracting the lion’s share of attention. But others are pacing themselves for a marathon, not a sprint. They hope to produce second- or third-generation vaccines that may ultimately prove better than the current front-runners.

“First is not always best,” says vaccine researcher Nikolai Petrovsky, from Flinders University in Adelaide. His company, Vaxine, is completing a Phase 1 trial on a COVID-19 vaccine that combines the SPIKE protein with a plant-sugar-based adjuvant that amps up the immune response. A combined Phase 2/3 trial is planned to start before the end of the year.

Some of the leading candidates are already reporting such side-effects as fever and headache, especially at higher doses. Sixty percent of participants in the Phase 2 trial of the Oxford vaccine, for instance, had adverse reactions, as did 75% of people given the CanSino vaccine. No severe reactions have been reported, but a second generation vaccine could prioritise tolerability, which could ultimately improve uptake of the vaccine.

Another problem that might arise in the first-to-the-finish vaccines is that protection could be fleeting. “Immunity doesn’t last for very long through natural infection,” says Drew. For a common cold coronavirus, the sniffles and sore throat only buy you two to three months of protection, which is why they can strike every year. SARS-CoV2 infection could be similar.

Vaccines should provoke longer-lasting immunity because of the way that they trigger immune responses, but how long immunity lasts is a big unknown.

Credit: NurPhoto / Getty Images

One way to optimise the immune response could be to step away from the standard jab in the arm that vaccine makers are currently best geared up to produce. Drew’s team is testing an intranasal formulation, which could be better able to illicit protection in the mucosal surfaces of the lungs and respiratory tract – the tissues the SARS-CoV2 virus uses as its gateway into the body.

At Monash University, they have their “eye on the aging population”, says Pouton. COVID-19 has proven especially deadly for elderly people, in part because of how their immune systems respond to the virus. One possibility, he says, is that “with a vaccine, they’ll get a similar sort of not-so-optimal response.” His team’s mRNA vaccine uses only a portion of the SPIKE protein. It’s also tinkering with the formulation of the lipid nanoparticle packages that protect the mRNA molecules and deliver them into our cells. The hope is that these measures reduce the chance of adverse side effects in the elderly.

Another reason to keep at least a few vaccines chugging down the pipeline is that rare vaccine reactions – such as paralysis – might only turn up once very large numbers of people start being vaccinated.

A cut-throat business

“The danger is always that the first runners end up getting all the resources, not because they are necessarily the best, but because they are the most visible,” says Petrovsky.

Theoretically, any one of the 160-odd vaccines currently in development could prove itself. In reality, few will get that opportunity. “If second runners don’t get adequate resources, they are likely to get lost by the wayside, whereas if given the chance they could have offered the best solution. I think that’s where we’re headed.”

Three leading candidates – from Oxford/AstraZeneca, Moderna and a collaboration between German-based BioNTech and US pharmaceutical giant Pfizer – have already swallowed up vast sums of public money, Petrovksy says. “Between the three of them, they’ve probably sucked up $10 billion of global vaccine development resources, which is going to make it very hard for any second generation or third generation [vaccines].”

The other risk is that, should the COVID-19 pandemic be brought under control, priorities will shift elsewhere. Petrovsky has seen it happen before. After the SARS outbreak in 2003, his team developed a vaccine – using the same technology as in its current Covax-19® vaccine – that looked promising in animal studies. By the time it was ready to go to human trials, funding had moved elsewhere.

It’s either wait and buy when you can or do it yourself.

“Money for pandemic vaccine research is always exceptionally transient,” says Petrovsky. “If the whole problem goes away, all of that funding will dry up, guaranteed.”

Whichever vaccine – or vaccines – make it through the gauntlet of clinical trials, manufacturing facilities and supply chains will need to be prepared to deliver the billions of doses required. The Coalition for Epidemic Preparedness Innovations – an international collaboration funded by public and private money to coordinate and expedite vaccine development – is already investigating how to manufacture vaccines in multi-dose vials to avert an anticipated glass vial shortage. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, meanwhile, is putting funds not only into vaccine R&D, but also into bolstering manufacturing capacity.

Some Australian experts are calling for funding for local production. “If you look at it from an Australian point of view, it’s either wait and buy when you can or do it yourself,” says Pouton. Melbourne-based company CSL makes protein-based vaccines and has signed on to produce the UQ vaccine. But there are no mRNA vaccine facilities. Establishing one – whether to make a locally developed vaccine or one licensed from elsewhere – would be a prudent investment, Pouton says, given the cost of buying on the commercial market.

The first vaccines could be approved as early as next year. But demand will undoubtedly outstrip supply. Vaccinating everyone who wants and needs a vaccine could take months, or possibly years: longer than it takes to produce the first protective shot. As Pouton says, “There’s going to be a big queue of people wanting a vaccine.”

This article is published in Issue 88 of Cosmos magazine. You can subscribe here.

Strategies behind the great vaccine race published first on https://triviaqaweb.weebly.com/

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