#and defining what doesnt work and why might in turn help me find more stuff that Does

[toytulini]

can i access the tunglr on work wifi but not discord. insane

#toy txt post #apologies in advance. nonzero chance this means i liveblog The Horrors. of slogging thru work #and or also liveblog. my own going insane over tryimg to remake character playlists now that the characters have evolved enough #that i look at their og playlists like.......what was i thinking #mostly. mostly Bytte #its just #hard to find things that match Bytte or Headloose or both of them and their. fucked up little dynamic both tonally and lyrically? #like in theory i Want to put Shakiras She Wolf on Bytte's playlist. its so iconic and In Theory. it could match. i could force it #in practice........god i dont even know how to expkain how it does not fit Bytte like....tonally and probably not even lyrically #i love bridge city sinners sound and a lot of their lyrics and would love to put them on both playlists but like lyrically and subject wise #theres just.....not much that fits? #i might be willing to try to explain Why It Doesnt Fit if i had more time ? and wasnt just typing in between printing labels..idk #and defining what doesnt work and why might in turn help me find more stuff that Does #i think i need to listen to a little more uhhhhhh. megan thee stallion? is that how u spell her name? for bytte. unsure. its so tricky #like half the shit on her playlist like only a couple lines in the song Really vibe w me idk #i actually just. remade her playlist completely the other day and im less mad at it now but it still could use a lot of improvement #theres not a good like.....flow between the songs? ig? #need to. figure out headloose now also.i think in fairness when i made Bytte's playlist i still hadnt really developed her as a character #much at all yet? idk #im not As Mad at either of Headloose's playlists theres just a bunch i need to add and reorganize and prolly need to trim? and tbh i prolly #need to just honestly make multiple separate playlists for all of them like i did for Suki.... #that will be similar and have plenty of overlap but have different nuances for the different eras of their lives #like. idk maybe Bytte needs to just have a Separate playlist for how her approach to and relationship w her sexuality evolves between #how she is as a human and. warlord. and then ig after she is w headloose which #is after she decides to become a demon but before shes fully transformed cos shes not dead yet so the evolution there is still #more subtle until she turns fully. and headloose gets 1) better at controlling the shapeshifting and healing factors and #2) Headloose getting more fucked up kinks. i guess. or learning more of his own fucked up kinks. or whatever #and the influence that has on her as well AND ALSO her like. lowkey toxicity in any attempts at long term rships #due to being a woman in a weird position in a point in history where we probably didnt have a word for aromanticism #...im out of tags. how does this happen everytime

[sunflowerdarlingx]

Fred Weasley - “Fred doesnt date” 2

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all okay <3

Here is part two to “Fred doesn’t date”, please let me know what you think, I do have a part three idea ready but wont post it unless some of you want it. 

PART ONE

Female Reader 

Warnings: none 

------------------------

Some might say Fred Weasley was scared to commit, some would say he enjoyed the player lifestyle and others would say he was some sort of sex addict who just enjoyed multiple partners but not all at once.

The truth was, Fred was indeed scared. He felt that the people close to him were he only ones he could trust, the only ones he could truly open up to. He was very happy with his life and his relationships, those he chose to build were stronger than most. He never expected to be drawn to Y/N, he also never expected to develop the feeling he did.  

He was utterly shocked at the way their relationship progressed, he had never felt this before, the butterflies he would get when he saw her or the way his heart fluttered when their skin made the slightest contact or the undeniable feeling of love he had when she fell asleep in the common room all cuddled up into Fred’s chest after a night of her homework and him planning pranks.

This is why Fred Weasley didn’t date. It always got complicated. Feelings of anger, hatred, sadness filled him up and he couldn’t take his eyes away from the scene in front of him. Cedric placed a kiss on Y/N’s jawline before placing one on the corner of her lips. Soon enough his lips were on hers as his hand moved down to her waist whilst the other supported the back of her neck so he could pull her closer.

Fred knew he should look away, he knew he was torturing himself watching the scene in front of him unfold.  

He wanted to scream, he wanted to go over there and pull Cedric as far away from Y/N as he could. An overwhelming need to break his hands for even touching Y/N in such away creeped inside his body and his fists clenched at his side.

How dare he.  

How dare he stand there and touch her, kiss her, do all the things that Fred should be doing with her.  

Surely he had heard the rumours. He knows how close they had been getting. How dare he interrupt that and take her away from him.  

Tears pricked at the corner of Freds eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. He knew he couldn’t stay there, so he didn’t. He forced himself to look away form the two and turned to head back to his dorm.  

He thought Y/N liked him, he thought she felt the same way he did. Why did she kiss Cedric if she knew?

He was angry with himself, he was so stupid to let himself get attached to her in the first place, he knew it was a bad idea but she was so bloody addictive. Every little thing about her drove him mad but in the best way possible.  

As Fred walked down the corridor the tears started to fall freely from his eyes, scared someone would see him he ran as fast as he could up to his dorm. A few girls saw him and tried to stop and speak to him but his feet carried him straight past them. His top teeth were embedded in his bottom lip to stop the sound of heartbreak escaping his mouth.

Even after what he just saw, no other girl could take his attention away from Y/N. He made it to his dorm, he was greeted by a smiling George who soon had a look of fear paint his face.  

“What’s wrong Freddie?” his voice was laced with concern as he walked over to his brother. He had never seen Fred in such a state. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were wet with tears and his lip was bleeding slightly. It was obvious this wasn’t from a fight so what had gotten Fred so worked up?

Fred stood still in front of his brother, he looked around the room before a broken sob left his mouth, George’s heart broke at the sound. George wrapped his arms around Fred and pulled him close. “Mate what is it? You know you can tell me anything”  

Loud broken cry’s left Freds mouth as all his emotions bubbled over, chocked sobs and snotty sniffles filled the room as he collapsed against George. Though Fred and George loved each other dearly, they never really hugged, it wasn’t uncommon but it wasn’t something they did regularly. They usually hugged when something good happened, like when they got the money for the shop that they planned on opening over the summer or when it was their birthday. George couldn’t believe that the reason they were hugging was because Fred was, well heart broken.

“Digger kissed her, he actually fucking kissed her” Fred shouted as he pulled away from George. “How fucking dare he, who does he think he is” he pulled his shirt over his head and wiped his face with it before putting it in the wash basket.  

“Fuck...Fred I’m so sorry” George had never seen Fred so angry, even loosing quidditch to Slytherin never had him this mad. His hands were in fists by his sides whilst his chest heaved with anger, jaw clenched.  

“I should have asked her sooner Georgie, why the fuck didn’t I ask her sooner” soon the anger was replaced by sadness, which consumed Freds body as he lay in his bed. He’s never been so emotional before, his heart literally felt like it had been broken in two, he felt weak… hopeless  

“Cmon mate, why don’t we go down to dinner, food will help and I’m sure we could see if the elf’s could get you ice cream, like what mum does when you’re upset”  

Fred buried himself in his duvet, “nah I think I’m gonna stay here, don’t really want to have to sit and watch her and perfect Diggory be all over each other again”

“I’ll take you something back then, just please come and find me if you need me, even send one of the first years down and I’ll be here as soon as I can okay?”  

Fred nodded “turn off the lights please on your way out”, George left the room and anger flooded his body. He hated seeing any of his family sad but the fact it was Fred, it was prankster Fred who was always laughing but now broken, angered him even more. He wanted Fred to be happy but after seeing the state he was in, it felt like it would be a while before laughing Fred returned.  

-

“Ced, I really think we should go and find Fred, what if he’s looking for us” Y/N pulled Cedric by the hand towards the staircase leading to the Gryffindor common rooms.  

Cedric pulled her back toward him, wrapping his arm around her waist “cmon you agreed to a snack first” he looked down at Y/N with his best pleading eyes. She rolled her eyes before grinning at the boy beside her “fine, only because I’m hungry”  

They made their way down the corridor, “he’s probably off shagging some girl in our year, doubt he’s looking for you”. Y/N felt angry hearing that, she knew Fred had a reputation but they had been getting closer and going on dates and stuff, surely he wouldn’t be off seeing other girls when he was suppose to be spending the day with her George and Lee.  

“I don’t think so Ced, he was suppose to be spending the day with us” her voice was quiet as she looked ahead of her.  

“Oh cmon Y/N you can’t be serious, Fred doesn’t care about that, as long as he’s getting a shag then he’s happy” Cedric laughed. “What’s going on with you two anyway?”  

“Fred and Me? Nothing...we are just friends” Y/N looked down at the ground, the thought of Fred with another girl upset her, Y/N had always hoped that the rumours going around school just now were secretly true. That Fred was finally settling down with someone. With her.  

Cedric turned them so Y/N rested against the wall, “are we friends Y/N” he asked as he rested his elbow above her.  

“Of course Cedric, why would you ask that?” she looked up at him, forcing a smile.

“Well if I’m honest, I’ve always liked you Y/N, obviously I figured it’s better to tell you now before it’s too late. Especially since I’m leaving at the end of the year.”  

“Oh Cedric...I’m not sure what to say, I’m flattered really” suddenly her shoes looked very interesting.  

“Cmon Y/N, I’m so much better for you than Weasley, he can’t give you the things I can, plus you know his reputation just as well as I do. Remember that time Lucy is my year came into the common room crying her eyes out because Fred said he didn’t want her? What makes you think you’d be different?”

Y/N couldn’t help but frown. Cedric was right, Fred did have a reputation for hurting girls, she never thought he would really mean to hurt them but what if he did? He’d led her on and now he was no where to be seen.  

Why would Fred change for her? She was nothing special. Plenty girls at school were prettier than she was, smarter than she was. She was a fool for thinking Fred would want something more.

“We would be good together Y/N and you know it. Summers in Italy or at yours, your brother loves me already so we know he’d be on board with it us. Plus, look” he gestured down to his body “who could say no to all this”.  

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at Cedric, she had always found him quite attractive, though they really only started speaking last year, Y/N had lost all her puppy fat over the summer, her boobs had gotten a bit bigger and her arse and curves were more defined.  

“Hmm summers in Italy do sound good” she teased  

“I’d hope I’d get your attention more than just through the summer” he leaned down placing a kiss on her cheek.  

“I’m sure we could arrange that if it’s your deepest desire” he smirked against her before placing another kiss on her cheek.  

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted” he teased, placing another kiss on her jaw, “can I kiss you?” His voice was a low whisper in her ear. Y/N wasn’t sure what to say, on one hand she would like to kiss Cedric, she did use to have a crush on him, but the other part of her wanted to say no, hopeful that Fred would maybe want her.  

Her body reacted before she could, nodding at Cedric. He grinned down at her, he ran his hand across her cheek pushing her baby hairs back form her face, she giggled at the contact.  Cedric placed a soft delicate kiss on her jaw and then her lips, soon enough their lips where moving in sync but something felt off.  

She pulled away before smiling up at Cedric “cmon we better go and get ready for supper” she places her hand in his and pulled him towards the common room.

-

When she got to dinner she sat with Cedric, laughing with him and his friends, her attention was drown to the flash of ginger hair walking into the hall. It was George, she looked over and smiled at him, shock consumed her when he glared at her. If looks could kill she’d have been dead.  

His eyes trailed down to the table where Cedric has his hand rested on top of hers. George looked angry, his face turned slightly red and his nostrils flared. He walked over to the Gryffindor table, immediately meeting with lots of “you okay George?” “Where’s Fred?” “What’s got you so angry?”.

He was sat with Lee, Angie, Alicia and Katie, once he told them all what happened they were fuming. None of them really liked Diggory in all honesty, from the way he acted during quidditch to his show off personality, they all thought he was a bit of a tool.  

To say there were all shocked was an understatement, they had all seen Y/N and Fred together and even they knew they were more than friends.  

“Well I won’t be saying hi to her again any time soon” Alicia said in a bitchy tone, “how could she do that to Fred?”.

-

Fred eventually got hungry, and honestly he hoped food would comfort him. He pulled on a hoodie with his grey joggers and made his way down to the great hall. As he entered he avoided looking over at the Hufflepuff table, usually he would look for Y/N and send her a wave or a wink or a goofy grin but not today. Not ever again, he thought to himself when he reached his friends. He was sat in between Lee and George, both of them giving him a pat on the back as he sat down.  

They tried to distract Fred by talking about new pranks and quidditch plays but he wasn’t really paying attention. He was desperate to turn around and look at her, to go over and pull her away from perfect Diggory and convince her that she should be with him instead but he knew he had to be strong. He knew he didn’t stand a chance against Diggory, after all, he he was the better option, he would give her the things Fred couldn’t, like luxury holidays to Italy.  

Ginny came over to them and sat in-between Fred and Lee, giving her brother a comforting hug once he explained what happened. A few little sobs leaving his mouth which he covered with a cough. Fred had spoken to Ginny loads about Y/N, she was the only one who wouldn’t slag him off for being all lovey dovey about her.  

“Fred, don’t look now but Y/N is coming over” Alicia said as she kept looking over to where Y/N walked over towards the table. Fred groaned and felt his eyes start to water.  

Ginny turned around and glared at the girl coming towards her, “bitch” she mumbled before turning to Fred. “Want me to tell her you don’t wanna talk?”

“Fuck” he rubbed his eyes with his pointer finger and thumb, “it’s okay gin, I can’t exactly avoid her”. Y/N came over and wrapped her arms around Fred’s neck, pulling down his hood “what’s up with you Freddie?” her voice whispered in his ear. Fred tensed at the contact, before relaxing at her voice.  

Y/N was worried about Fred, he was never usually late to dinner and she didn’t even get her usual goofy smile off him.

Her voice was one of his favourite sounds, he often fell asleep to her voice in the common room late at night when he’d sneak her in. His head would rest on her lap as she read muggle tales to him, the way her voice soothes him sent him into deep slumbers. He couldn’t help but melt in her arms and at her words, she’s always so caring.

He looked at his friends who were all sending glares her way. He sucked in a breath before pulling her hands away from his neck, he turned around and looked at her. She frowned at his current state, his hair was a mess, eyes bloodshot and face red.  

“Nothing I’m good” Fred stood up and, made his way out of the hall.  

“What’s up with him Georgie?” She turned to look at Fred make his way out the hall.  

Ginny scoffed and rolled his eyes at her, “hmm I wonder” sarcasm laced her voice as she tapped her chin. Ginny learned at a young age to look after herself and then she very quickly realised she had to look after her family. They always came first and no one said anything bad about them.  

She’d had her fair share of arguments with boys and girls over the years, boys trying to slag off her brothers out of jealousy and girls complaining about rejection. Knowing how much Fred liked and cared for Y/N only made Ginny angrier, Fred actually allowed himself to get close to someone and she broke him. She stood up to face Y/N, eyes staring her down, “why don’t you go ask your new boyfriend Diggory? Maybe you two can recreate some of the dates my brother took you on”, her voice was cold as ice as she spoke. She shoved past Y/N and went to look for Fred.  

Y/N’s eyes widened as she looked down at George, he just looked at her before a “she’s right” left his mouth and him and the rest of the people he was sitting with left the hall.  

-

Y/N was shocked, she was an idiot for underestimating what she and Fred had. She stood for a moment trying to think about everything that had happened. She majorly regretted kissing Cedric now, she should have spoken to Fred, asked how he felt but she was an idiot. She let her insecurities get the better of her.

She decided to go to her dorm and call it a night, at about 2 am she woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep, her mind in overdrive. She decided to go for a wander out to the gardens to look at the stars.  

-

Fred was in and out of sleep, if he wasn’t having dreams about him and Y/N, he was dreaming about her and Cedric.  

He woke up after dreaming about walking in on Y/N and Cedric, Cedric was above her, hands running down her body, they were laughing at Fred as he stood at the door watching.

“Oh Freddie, you didn’t actually think you had a chance with me, did you?” Y/N’s giggle flooded the room but it wasn’t her normal laugh, it was laced with mockery and hate. “Why would I settle for you, poor little Fred Weasley, can’t even commit to a girl. You honestly think I’d settle for that? Cedric treats me so much better”. Cedric leaned down kissing her roughly..

Fred shot up from his bed, chest heaving as he tried to calm down. He was an idiot for thinking he stood a chance, why would she be his when he’d been with so many other girls? When Cedric could offer her the world and he could offer her a summer at the burrow?  

He got up and chucked on shorts and a hoodie, making his way out his dorm and out the portrait. He made his way around the castle avoiding the prefects and Filtch. He reached the gardens and was sat on the grass looking up at the stars above him.  

He was staring up at the moon, all he could think about was Y/N, the way she laughed, the way she listened to everything Fred had to say, the way she could brighten up even the darkest days and the way she made everything better.  

He thought about Christmas, he’d asked her to stay with them over the festive period. He was looking forward to spending all his free time with her, playing in the snow and showing her all his favourite places around the burrow. He knew she’d love their garden, the stars were even clearer there. He was to engrossed in thought that he hadn’t heard Y/N walk up behind him,  

He was even looking forward to having her meet his mum and dad. Molly was shocked when she saw the letter from Fred asking for his new friend-girl to stay over at Christmas. Molly had a feeling another sweater may be needed.  

“Freddie….” Her voice was a whisper but still managed to make him jump “can I join you?”……..

Part Three

Tagged

@manuosorioh @itsbebeyyy @britishspidey @supermassiveblackhope @impossibelle @jenniweaslee

#Fred weasley imagine #Fred weasley smut #Fred weasley x reader

[voidselfshipp]

Meet The Family

Cw: self depriciation, food ment.

Ok to rb.

Summary: the iida family wants to meet the partner of their youngest kid, but said partner is not ready for It.

Song: "just the two of us " Bill withers and grover Washington.

Jerico paced around the room with her hands behind her back, mina stops her grabbing her shoulders-- its gonna be fine!-- adds the student.

--But what if they dont like me?! What if they want him to date someone else?

Uraraka softly pats her Friends back-- dont worry ! Theyll love you! Theyll see that youre a perfect match for their son!

-- but just-- I got nothing to wear! What if they go formal and I just-- jeri sits on her bed clutching a pillow-- what if I have nothing to wear!

They hear a soft knock before anyone can answer-- jerico? Is everything alright in there? Midoriya told me that youre not feeling well..-- said iida.

-- coming!-- she says opening the door peeking her head through it-- tenya...babe..I think we should cancel...-- she says looking away sighing-- I dont think im the right one to meet your family-- she said leaning on the doorframe crossing her arms.

-- whyd you say that jerico? Youre perfect!

--Im not! First of all im from another country!-- she says with tears in her eyes looking away-- im so loud I cant control my volume, I have nothing to wear and to top it all off I dont even get the same grades as you do --She looks at him and sniffs drying her tears with her sleeve-- I think we should call it off

Tenya hugs her tightly and buries his head on her hair-- please dont say that...-- he says with a strained tone-- youre perfect jerico, my family wont care if youre not from here-- he cups her cheek with a flushed face-- youre funny, Smart, youre absolutely beautiful-- he cups her other cheek squishing them-- grades dont define you, you, me or anyone! Grades are just numbers, they are a grading system, but outside? They dont matter-- he adds lowering his hands to her jaw caressing her cheekbones with his thumbs.-- its going to be fine, but I wont accept you talking yourself down--he puts a strand of hair behind her ear-- its okay if youre loud because I love you this way-- he kisses her softly and after some seconds he pulls away-- I wont let my family talk bad about you, in fact they know the best of you!-- he says hapilly-- howd you saved me with stain, howd you won against me in the festival, they see you as I see you, for the amazing woman you are

The silence is short before jerico sobs even harder hugging him-- youre so sweet!

He hugs her tightly with a soft smile, bending down a little-- I wont let anyone be mean to you, theyll deal with me first

She dries off her tears and presses a kiss to his cheek-- thank you

Tenyas cheek turn red, and he fixes his tie, before he says anything his reciproburst goes haywire and he runs past her mumbling nonsense. Making her laugh.

-- anyways... I gotta go now, midnight said shed take me to see some stuff to we-- she turns around to her Friends finding her in tears too.

-- you two are so sweet! -- adds mina.

-- so cute!-- adds uraraka.

Jiro nodds -- so cute!

She chuckled and grabbed her jacket-- gotta go!

As she walks with midnight and recovery girl, who decided to join them to go outfit hunting her teacher softy elbows her-- we'll find you something nice to wear! Youll see!

Jeri scratches the back of her neck knowing what midnight could get up to.

They searched all the stores they could and the dinner was fast approaching.

Jerico is feeling anxious now, recovery girl softly pats her back-- we can try there!-- she points at a suit store.

Midnight nodds-- yes, that could work!

Jeri trusting her teachers judgment follows them.

Iida Is tapping his foot waiting for jerico at the entrance of the UA. He looks around.

--where is she?-- he mutters scratching tbe back of his neck. He was fine with arriving late. His family wouldnt mind.

--Sorry! We couldnt find anything!!-- jerico comes in his field of view, his breath is taken away when he sees her in a suit, her hair tied up.

--oh...-- he mutters and both uraraka and midoriya hold him back, jiro and mina roll up his pants so recirpoburst doesnt rip them.

Jerico giggles and hugs him-- lets go yeah?

Tenya nodds and fixes his pants saying goodbye and getting in the car.

As they drive he hugs her tightly-- you look so beautiful -- he says caressing her arm.

--If I could help you pull out your tubes I can do this!

--Come on it wasnt that hard!

She raises a brow.

[....]

Even though tenya was ready to make such change he was an absolute baby.

--come on ten!-- she said.

--Its gonna hurt jerico!

-- thats why im here, come on

He sighs pulling out the first tube, Before he can scream she sits on his lap and kisses him.

He turns red and hugs her waist with one hand.

-- see? Not that hard!

He starts to giggle meekly-- well..if I get a kiss for each one...ill get twelve kisses

-- let me desinfect that for you

[....]

-- as I was saying, not that hard!-- tenya protested-- besides! ...oh hey we're here

He gets out first and helps her, he takes her hand, and walk into their home.

Taking off their shoes they walk in and are greeted with iidas mom, dad and his brother.

--tensei!--says iida hugging his brother-- I cant Belive youre here!

The ex hero smiles-- I I couldnt pass up the opportunity to meet my brothers partner, hi, im tensei

Jerico nodds-- im jerico, nice to met you tensei-- she bows.

Dinner arrives and as they eat, jerico is struggling with the chopsticks..

She scratches the back of her neck and tenya just hands her a fork and a Knife.

-- th thanks-- she adds embarassed eating her food.

-- dont be embarassed!!-- says tenyas mom-- he told us you arent fully used to chopsticks so we put a set for you!

Tenya also pulls out a fork and a Knife smiling.

Her cheeks turn Pink and she smiles softly eating with a content giggle.

--so-- starts tenyas dad-- our son has told us plenty about you but id rather hear about you from your own mouth

Jerico drinks water and looks at her father in law-- well, im originally from Argentina!, Im the oldest from four kids-- she says-- Im more into art than anything, I also play the guitar, what else would you like to know mr. Iida

Tenyas dad smiles-- well, I can only say that my son scored a winner

Jericos cheek flush red and tenya chokes on his drink blushing red-- dAD!

After dinner jeri helps pick up the table and wash the dishes.

--youre a very lovely girl, but I must ask-- says tenyas mother-- who confessed first?

Sighing in relief that it was only a simple question and not a "whats your intentions with my son" question she giggled-- I did

Tenya flushes even redder than before and grabs jerico walking outside saying --GOODBYE!

his family laughs, and tensei says something before they leave.-- jerico, take care of him for me-- he says patting her arm-- and please show him how to relax

She laughs hugging tensei-- I Will, dont worry!

She says her goodbyes and both go back to the UA.

jerico crashes ontop of tenya both in their comfy pjs.

He hugs her waist pulling her closer and smiling.

-- my family really loved you back there-- he says leaving down the formality.

--im glad--she answers-- maybe one day youll meet mine!

Tenya smiles-- dyou think theyll like me?

She nodds and holds his hand-- im sure theyll do

He smiles and kisses her forehead.

As they fall asleep, tenya humms "just the two of us "by Grover Washington.

《I see the crystal raindrops fall

And the beauty of it all

Is when the sun comes shining through

To make those rainbows in my mind

When I think of you sometime

And I wanna spend some time with you

Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

Just the two of us

(Just the two of us)

Just the two of us

Building castles in the sky

Just the two of us

You and I

We look for love, no time for tears

Wasted water's all that is

And it don't make no flowers grow

Good things might come to those who wait

Not for those who wait too late

We gotta go for all we know ...

Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

Just the two of us

(Just the two of us)

Just the two of us

Building them castles in the sky

Just the two of us

You and I 》

#tenya tag pending #mina tag pending #jiro tag pending #uraraka tag pending #cw self deprecation #tw self deprecation #cw food ment #tw food ment

[wongiemei]

Roommate!Jeno

a/n: maybe i should just turn this blog into an nct dream one

okay

letsgetit!

first of all,

story time!

your uni is fucking expensive and it’s more expensive if you live in the grounds

so you being the wise human,

you went to get an apartment near the campus

it was great and all since roommate!jaemin was paying for his stuff

you were both living respectively until he had to leave

the dumbass didnt even bother to tell you

one morning you just woke up and found his note

‘hey bitch! figured you were too much of a rock to wake up but i moved out! the family wants me to go back home and tend the restaurant’

the whole day yesterday, you were working

bc,,, yknow

broke college life

and you just walked in half asleep towards your room and fell asleep

so you didnt really see or notice

but were you freaking out bc your roommate suddenly moved out?

ofc you were freaking out

not only was your roommate gone,

how were you going to find a new one?!

jaemin expected your phone call that afternoon and he endured through all your screaming

‘babe, i’m just going to be gone for a year-or two’

‘oR tWO?!’

‘hun, my dad’s injured and his back can only let him do so much. ma’s working too much and i dont have any siblings to help. i figured i could just hold off college until my parents are ready’

ugh, jaemin is such a family boy

‘but jaems! you couldnt have at least told me that yOu wERe mOvING OuT?! and! rent is due soon! i can’t pay for that myself!’

jaemin couldve easily told you to warn yoy

but he didn’t want to tell you bc he couldnt handle you sad and didnt want to upset you

however, now jaemin really understands how shitty that move was

‘tell you what. i’ll pay for this month and make a few phone calls and i’ll get you set up with a new roommate, deal?’

knowing how much of a social butterfly he was, you agreed

ofc you trusted jaemin but part of you feared that he might pair you up with a freak

but he’s not that mean, is he?

you can definitely see renjun doing that but not jaemin

so there you are,,

sitting on your couch alone

without jaemin, your apartment felt really empty

its been a few days since he moved and you were miserable

jaemin hasn’t even texted you about that potential roommate

just as you were about to call him,,

your doorbell rang

you froze and you looked at the time

it was nearing 11 at night and you don’t remember ordering delivery

see,,

if jaemin was here,

he would answer it for you since you would be too scared to do it

but you mustered up your courage and peeped through the peep hole

the man was dressed in all black with a black mask and a black cap with his hood over it with a black hoodie and black pants

ngl, you were terrified and trembling

he rang it again and you jumped

typing out a quick text to jaemin saying ‘hey bub, if i don’t text you in an hour, that means ive been kidnapped so call the police’

you grabbed a pan from the cupboard and gulped before you opened the door

thinking he would just walk forward and grab you, you closed your eyes and raised your pan over your head and swung

a shriek from in front of you made your eyes snap open and found the guy on the floor with a fetal position

you both just froze for like a phat minute

snapping back to reality, you held the pan in front of you

‘if youre going to kidnap me, i got a pan and im not afraid to hit you with it!’

you tried to sound intimidating but your voice was shaking so much

the guy stood up and he took off his hat and the mask to reveal a blonde haired kid

okay, so you were sHOokETh

damn! this boy is fine!

he gave you a shaky smile and held out his hand

‘hi! i’m lee jeno! you must be y/n? jaemin told me you had an opening for a roommate?’

now you noticed the two duffle bags at the side

the embaressment and the shame settled in slowly and you found yourself burning up

nodding, you motioned him to come in

jeno awkwardly walked in and was amazed at how big the layout was with the low rent

‘yea, its kinda hard to believe that we only pay that much. at first i thought there was a ghost in here and that’s why its so cheap’

you tried to make small conversation but laughed weirdly at jeno’s slightly terrified face

‘no! there really is not ghost here! ive lived here for a year and there hasnt been anything so please dont understand! please be my roommate!’

you begged and jeno thought you were weird

but jaemin was right, you were weirdly adorable in a way

so that’s how you and jeno became apartment buddies!

now onto the good stuff!

so, jeno is a vv clean guy

like he’s the type to just pick up a wrapper in the street and throw it in the garbage

so naturally, he likes to keep the apartment as tidy and neat as possible

but you being a mess you are,

you usually leave a lot of things everywhere

lets just say you have a short memory

‘oh? how did that get there?’

eventually, jeno gets sick of it and he confronts you with it

ofc you understand and you actually try to be better

since jeno is literally the most perfect roommate

maybe even better than jaemin

(but don’t tell him that)

jeno is the type to re-stock the pantry with snacks and the fridge with ice cream

since youre both college students, ramen is practically always available in the house 24/7

he also makes the coffee every morning since he works early and wakes up first

even though he doesn’t like the drink and prefers milk, he still notices how you survive off of coffee

babie likes to pick you up some iced americano while he gets a frappe

you on the other hand,,

you’re very surprised

when you got to bed after showing jeno around,

you messaged jaemin

ofc he was worried af and was blowing up your phone

‘WHAT?!’

‘bitch answer the damn phone!’

‘whatthe fuck is happening?!’

‘i need to know if you’re still alive!’

‘oh fuck i shouldnt have moved out’

smiling softly at how worried he was, you responded to him

‘you hoe, it hasnt been an hour yet so chillax. i’m alive, unfortunately, and i just met my new roommate. again, thanks for the heads-up. youre so bad at those. i literally thought he was a burgular or a kidnapper. but he seems chill and emo. just my type.’

but jeno is F A R from C H I L L

oh my goodness,,

hes a crackhead

theres this sound he makes when he’s confused and you couldnt figure out if its cute or weird or if he’s doing this on purpose or thats just how he is

you and him basically communicate with memes

sometimes, at the weird hours at night, he sends you a dumbass meme

you cant help but snort 

also, you promised to take jaemin out to dinner to repay him for the great roommate

‘hes literally one of the best people youll ever meet. it just so happen he needed a place to sleep. now you owe me’

hes a science major while you were a computer major

he basically brings home weird stuff to analyze and it just hella stinks

but hes considerate enough to actually put it outside

whenever he’s focused, he talks to himself or the thing he’s analyzing

‘okay mr. fishy. your scales are really big and its bigger than average’

its so cute

oof also!

jeno doesnt have a job yet he always makes rent on time with extra money to spare

he even sometimes buys you stuff saying, ‘they reminded me of you’

for your birthday, he bought you a pearl necklace that mustve costed thousands

at first, you thought he was a chaebol or smth

which you wouldve been vv jealous of bc youre a struggling college student who works at the coffee shop

but, you were answered when you caught him walking in half-dazed and half-asleep with cuts all over his face

it was like 2 in the morning and you were pulling an all-nighter for some project and wanted to get a glass of water

but here he is, hood up, lip busted, black eye, cheek cut

you shrieked and ushered him to sit on the dining chair

thinking he got mugged or something, you start drilling him questions

‘hun, if you were beat up, we need to call the police! this is illegal!’

but jeno chuckles and brushes the stray hairs out of your face as you tend to his lip

‘pls dont. if you do, ill be broke and i wont have money to pay rent then i cant be your roommate anymore’

cue confused y/n

‘wUT?’

‘if i dont make money, youll kick me out and youll have to find another roommate. i dont want you to go through that hassle again’

ofc you were flattered that even during this situation, hes still thinking about you

‘how is this making money?!’

‘i cant believe youre oblivious to so many things. i thought for sure youve caught on.’

more confusion

‘eXCUse mE, lEE JEno? since when have you started coming home with all these things in your face?’

you were worried that this wasnt the first time this happened

but if you think hard about it, thats why he always wears his mouth masks and he always has his blonde fringe down and sometimes wears sunglasses even though its cloudy outside

‘ohmygod lee jeno are you in a gang?!’

jeno was shocked that you came to that conclusion but laughed at how adorable you were rn

with your wide eyes and mouth open

‘nah, bro. i box. its the only way i can make easy money.’

‘but,,, why did you hide this from me? if you needed money i couldve helped you’

he looked at you skeptically

‘sis, you could barely afford that muffin the other day’

lee jeno now looked different from the jeno you met the first day

What you thought to be an innocent little squish was a fighter at night

‘yah, can-um-you need to take this off’

you mumbled while tugging on his sweatshirt

he nodded and slipped it off

he explained why he came late when he first moved

‘i had a late night match and yknow,, school and all, i barely had enough time to come'

as you dab the wound, you try to make small talk to distract yourself

 ‘so,, youve been boxing this whole time?’

you asked, trying not to get distracted to the way his tight shirt clung to him, showing his defined body

there were bruises up and down his arms and his knuckles were busted

‘yea. i have been since senior high. gotta make money, yknow?’

‘but jen, you can work in coffee shops or at local bookstores. its not worth seeing you busted up like this’

your lips trembled at the thought of him being beaten up too hard to the point he gets into a coma

jenos eyes widened at your wobbling lips and he softly cupped your face

‘hey, im okay and ill be fine. you dont have to worry about me. i usually win, anyways’

his confidence made you chuckle

‘i trust you, lee jeno. just make sure to make it home to me every night.’

‘i know you do and i will. always.”

ever since then,

youve become his little caretaker

youve informed jaemin of what hes been doing and he knew but didnt want you to judge him immediately

smh, jaemin really sucks at informing people

but jeno tries to help you keep up

he even sends you texts that hes fighting that night and your little ‘fighting!’ always makes him smile

his manager and friend, chenle, noticed that hes starting to smile more

chenle likes boxing and wants to be a part of it but doesnt want to be hurt

so,, what better to be the manager of his friend

‘yah, hyung. what’s got you giggly today?’

jeno pointed to the screen and giggled at the little good luck gif you sent

his eyes turned to crescents and chenle smirked

‘wah, you like her, don’t you?’

at the mention of ‘like’, his smile dropped and he shook his head

‘no. of course not. shes just a friend.’

chenle being chenle,,

he continues to prod

‘okay. so every night, you make it your priority to make sure you’re home by 2 in the morning for your friend’

smh, chenle youre so annoying

but hes so right

ever since you caught him,

hes been making sure he gets home at the same time 

he sends you a text that hes on his way and you set your ringtone at a very high volume so you wake up and take care of him

during fights, he makes it his sole mission to make out of this alive and a winner for you

but that never crossed his mind as his feelings for you

he just thought of it as making you not worry for him

but then, he starts to think about your stupid little habits

the way you make this face whenever you dont understand

or when you still leave little post-it notes everywhere with ideas you come up with

he noticed it all and he loves them

‘hOLy ShIT!’

that night was when he realized his feelings for you and he was so dedicated on finishing it that he quickly won and he dashed home with his money

bursting through the door, you looked at him with wide and startled eyes

‘what’s wrong?’

you came running but he scooped you up to a hug

ok you were confused but relieved that he was home and alright

jeno looked at your face and wanted to confess but chickened out at the sight of you

you were so good to him and honestly, he doesnt deserve you

(his thoughts, not mine)

‘i-i’

he stuttered and you motioned him to continue

‘i won!’

he shouted and you congratulated him, even though he literally won all the time

guiding him to the chair, you began to dab his cuts

(dab that bitch)

‘im starting to think that your opponents either really suck or youre like the god of boxing’

he didnt know how to take that but blushed red at the mention of him being a ‘god of boxing’

‘nah, im just good’

you eyed him and smiled

he continued to watch you heal him and inspected your face

heavy eyebags and sunken cheeks, it mustve been a long night

he felt a pang in his chest thinking that you push your stuff away just to help him

‘you dont have to keep doing this for me, yknow’

you halt and look at him seriously

‘i know i dont. but i cant sleep at night thinking youre in pain and alone when i can be there for you’

even though he just realized it, jeno was pretty sure he fell in love with you a long time ago

but if it was possible, he fell in love with you even more

‘thank you’

his soft voice filled the silence and you vowed that you will always be there for him whenever he needs help

a few days later, jeno hasnt been to a fight

sure you were worried at what was going on in his head but partly relieved that you dont have to see him so battered anymore

but this was so un-jeno

just as you were about to talk to him about it, he announces he got a job at the bookstore down the street

‘huh? i thought you didnt want to work’

you question while he looked sheepish

‘i realized that i was starting to become a burden since you take care of me every time. so i thought i should quit and get a regular job. besides, it doesnt hurt as much’

he laughed but you didnt react

‘lee jeno, you gave up boxing and the money,,, for me?’

he nervously looked up at you and you noticed the redness of his cheeks

‘i-well-if you put it that way’

‘listen to me, im flattered and i truly love that you dont want to get beaten up anymore. but i dont want you to quit something you like because of me'

‘but you always take care of me and push your priorities away to clean me up. i dont do anything in return and i dont think its fair!’

he argued and a soft smile crept up your face

‘yah, lee jeno'

your voice became a whisper

‘it doesnt matter to me if you dont do anything in return bc i dont see this as a favor. you are mine to take care of and i will do anything for you, you understand that?’

he looked at you in shock after hearing your response

he also turned red at the mention of him being yours

‘so-but-i dont think-'

he stutters but you place your hands on his arms making him stop

‘all i ask is you to come back home, to come back to me'

by now, yall were blushing

even though it might not sound like it,

but yall just indirectly confessed to each other

yall stared at the ground and jeno looks up, biting his lip

‘hey, y/n, can i make it up to you with some coffee?’

your head darted up and looked at him with wide eyes

‘like-like a date?’

it came out suddenly and you stepped back in surprise, cursing yourself

but jeno chuckled, eyes scrunching cutely

‘it'll be one of many'

lmao i didnt really like this but i made it at 2 in the morning and i kinda like boxer!jeno

#lee jeno #jeno #jeno imagines #lee jeno imagines #boxer!jeno #nct dream jeno #nct dream jeno imagines #lee jeno scenarios #jeno scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #boxer!jeno imagines #roommate!nct dream #roommate!jeno #lee jeno fluff #jeno fluff #nct dream fluff

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you have any hcs for Magnus taking ppl to pride for the first time? I kinda feel like he’d act as a guide for others, making sure everyone feels safe and happy during their first time. Like, I can picture him bringing daylighter Raphael out for the first time, showing Meliorn around (bc even though they’ve been around for a while, the Seelies don’t really do human stuff) and holding Alec’s hand while he looks around in amazement.

well surprise surprise this got very long. bet y’all never saw that coming

ok so i particularly love this ask because like, the idea of meliorn going to pride for the first time is a riot and i adore it

like seelie society has developed completely independently from mundane society in every way, hell, it existed before humans did. so there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to believe that their culture even has the concepts of gender of sexuality, and believing that it would be the same as modern western ones is just straight up anachronistic tbh

so like personally i hc that seelie society has no gender (and therefore no concept of sexuality in the way that we see it), so the idea of pride- doesn't even make sense to them, cuz there's no concept of these identities, much less a history of oppression that would bring forward the need to celebrate their resistance like there currently is

so meliorn would want to go just to like, see what that's like and what's it all about. and the whole time they're just following Magnus around and like, taking notes. hm, interesting, what is this trans thing again? ah yes, people who dont think their personality matches the one mundanes believe would be brought by their genitals. hm. fascinating. and Magnus is just like, laughing loudly and it's the best pride he's ever been to, because he knows how ridiculous queerphobia and cishetnormativity are, but meliorn can make that so clear in their words in a way thats just, like, fantastic to hear, you know? and they dont even mean to, but it's great all the same

plus meliorn actually does feel good because a lot of people look at them and smile broadly or even wave, especially younger people who are just like, in awe of them and Magnus, who are so unapologetically gnc and indisputably beautiful, and looking at them is just like, inspiring, you know? and Meliorn has never felt this admired and appreciated and they dont even fully understand why, they're just walking around in their usual clothing and leaf makeup and everyone is just like, in love with them. and it's nice. they can tell there's an edge of sadness to the whole thing, like how their normal everyday existence seems to be so shocking and refreshing for these people, but mostly they feel good about it

later they bring their findings to the other seelies - you know, the ones who dont usually leave the realm and are way less familiar with mundane culture(s) than they are - and the others are like. shut up. there's no way this is real. the shape of their genital defines what wavelength they are supposed to find appealing? this makes no sense. and meliorn's like "idk what to tell u buddy i literally physically can't lie" and they're like surely this is an elaborate prank

but anyway it's fun and nice and they enjoy it greatly and ask Magnus a lot of questions, and Magnus loves going with them more than anyone else because its just so fun and the way this is completely unnatural to them feels refreshing - Magnus doesnt have to explain why he feels the way he feels, for once, but rather he has to explain why people dont get that, and thats a good change tbh

okay onto other ppl im sorry for this tangent djdndjdndk RAPHAEL YES. god i just. okay i love the mental image of Magnus taking Raphael to pride aaaaaaaa

like okay first of all so many layeRS to make this emotional, okay. the fact that he's now a daylighter and can enjoy being out in the sun, the fact that this is a bright costumed parade and it kinda reminds him of the día de los muertos parade and makes him feel at home, the fact that he gets to celebrate and meet other ace ppl - just, so many good things going on here dundidmdi

and Raphael was kinda unsure about going because 1- pride can get pretty sexual at times, and while he gets it and doesn't mind other people's business, he doesn't want to be hit on or participate in that; 2- big crowd makes senses go craycray and it can get very overwhelming and he's scared of overload, plus it's just not his scene in general with huge parties and such. but a part of him does want to go and he's torn, so of course Magnus is immediately like "oh dear, don't worry, i can take you, i'll make sure it's good" and Raphael is like okay

so Magnus takes him and it's :') nice, because as always he’s just so attentive. disclosure i’ve only ever been to the São Paulo pride so i’m gonna go with how it works in here but im assuming it’s not that different in like, other places. also São Paulo currently has the biggest pride parade in the world along with NYC so you know, i think it’s influential at the very least

anyway so he finds a section that’s led by ace pride groups, one that’s considerably small (in number of ppl) and spacious, and it’s. nice. very nice. magnus makes it a point to paint the ace pride colors on raphael’s face (we deserve raphael in makeup tbh) and raphael is all like “it’s fine, it’s not like i’ll want to draw a lot of attention” (like he isn’t wearing the ace flag colors already) and magnus is like hush, let me have this, i want my boy to have a good pride experience. so raphael lets him and hides his smile and lets him, and it’s. cute okay

also idk why but i have the mental image of raphael seeing some other latino guy with some sign like. “i’m not your fetish” or something of the sort, and kind of tearing up because his whole life he’s been seen as this kind of sexual fantasy that couldn’t not be about sex, much less not be interested in it, and he feels seen. and it’s nice, okay

and as promised it’s not too overwhelming in matters of like people, tactile issues and such (there’s little magnus can do about the noise other than spell raphael to decrease his sensitivity so he doesn’t get overwhelmed, which is not ideal because it makes communication a bit harder between them, but he does it anyway if raphael asks him to), and if raphael gets tired, they can always turn into a corner and take a portal back home and cuddle the post-crowd jitteriness away. so it’s a success. and raphael hugs magnus later and thanks him and says that it was so great, that he’s missed this, the energy and the colors and the sun, and he never thought he’d get to have it again, and he did thanks to magnus. and magnus hugs him back and tells him “anything for you, my boy,” and it’s the sweetest thing okay im emo

also okay this still falls under Raphael and Meliorn but the POLYCULE okay, or at least saiaphaeliorn. like sign me the fuck up for the 4 of them together at pride, meliorn and magnus helping make some cute pride-themed makeup on the other 3, just aaaaaaaaa. maia looking absolutely gorgeous with her face framed in the bright bi colors, maybe a sunny dress with the trans flag colors? just because i think she’d look so cute in like, a mostly white dress with baby pink and blue details, okay. simon just paints the pan flag on his cheek but it’s still vibrant and cute and it suits him. and ghhghghghg meliorn delicately painting raphael’s face with colorful glitter..... effervescent, okay. just beautiful

and they get to hold hands in public and laugh and crack jokes and simon loves the music and the festival and raphael smiles fondly at him and maia singing along (him and meliorn definitely don’t know what the fuck they’re singing, but it’s okay because they’re clearly happy and that makes the two of them happy too) and just duahsdiahdaiuha soft okay. also they all get to experience meliorn’s takes on the whole thing and it’s fantastic and as usual meliorn gets raphael to laugh until he almost cries, and simon smiles brightly at the sight and gives meliorn a peck for their efforts, and just aaaaaaaa

in short they’re SOFT and i’m SOFT. and look yes i know that usually parades esp big ones are super crowded (lord knows the SP pride parade is an experience) but if in SP with 5 million ppl parading i could find sections with less people where you had enough space to walk holding hands and hear each other and not be overwhelmed, then i’m sure they can too, especially with magic and powers at their disposal. so i’m going to have this

also like. as much fun as this is for magnus (and it definitely is, it’s very nice to get to enjoy to be himself openly, and to bring kids there for their first time, and you know), it’s also bittersweet because like. he was there at stonewall, he was there for the first pride, you know? and apart from the obvious part where he lost so many friends who were there, there’s just. the very bad memories of the riots, because as important as they are and as much as he obviously doesn’t regret them, riots are hard, they are the language of the oppressed. he’s had to magically protect people from being shot by the police, he’s had to withstand trial by the Clave for using magic to shield the people from the tear gas and risking being seen, he’s had to save a lot of lives and he’s failed at it sometimes, too (i’ll always hc that he’s the reason neither Marsha nor Sylvia died during the riots and you can pry that away from my cold, dead hands). and he’s also seen it be whitewashed and lose some of its resistance and meaning, he’s seen Sylvia be booed at a later march when she spoke against imprisonment, and he’s seen so much be lost

and in that sense going to pride with alec later on might be his favorite, because it’s not like, a first time where he’s trying to get everyone to have the most fun they can and shit, you know? plus alec loves watching more than he does participating, he feels way too exposed in the crowded streets with so many openings and whatnot. but watching from a rooftop, where he has the best view, can still hear the sounds and enjoy the colors and the beauty of it from a distance? that’s perfect for him, and it’s a different experience

and magnus sits by his side as they watch, hand in hand, and reminisces about everything that he’s experienced after so many years, all the changes he’s seen, how he feels pride but he also feels loss and he feels old, and he fears what happens if pride’s history is forgotten, you know? and alec listens to him, listens to his version of this story, playing with magnus’ fingers and just enjoying the sound of his voice and the sight. and it’s nice. alec is always super attentive and enjoys hearing him talk and magnus can get lost in his memories unapologetically, you know? and it’s good

but that’s later on, of course, when they’ve already attended plenty together. for alec’s first pride he probably wants it to be like, perfect, so much so that alec has to tell him to slow down again, because of course magnus wants alec to have The Full Pride Experience, but alec would rather soak it up slowly than participate in a lot of stuff, anyway. magnus paints the rainbow flag on his cheek (one of the only occasions alec lets magnus put glitter on him, then promptly complains for the next three months because i swear that stuff is still on my skin, magnus, the other day i found some on my shoes! and magnus laughs at his antics as always and alec is forced to laugh too and can’t even be mad) and they kind of stay more by the end, and alec is kind of smiling in disbelief to himself the whole time as he watches all the colors and the unapologetic way people express their pride, and magnus can’t stop looking at him and grinning, too. and they walk hand in hand and it’s cute

(later, magnus says, see, mundane culture isn’t so bad, is it? and alec looks at him with a way more serious look, full of joy and happiness, and says, no, it isn’t. and kisses him and thanks him for everything, and it’s sweet)

also I'm soft thinking about Magnus reminiscing about planning the first pride along with "his dear friend Brenda" to Alec and/or Raphael, them putting their arms around his shoulder as he tells them the softer stories, too, the good things they did

small bonus: Magnus plays 2 truths and a lie with Simon regarding his memories of past prides, and Simon gets it wrong every time and is all wide eyed by the end, which makes both Magnus and Raphael laugh :)

#ask #anonymous #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #malec #The Polycule™ #saiaphaeliorn #simon lewis #maia roberts #raphael santiago #meliorn #alec lightwood #brotp: i'll do whatever it takes to protect them

[lucyannsmith98]

Pinterest Research

This is the Pinterest Research from my phone Pinterest account. These will help influence my art and the project work further.

I like the way that the set of the 4 canvases, that are all 4 are similar in colour, with colours of purples, blues and the slight peach but then they all different as the clouds are all in different positions and then they have different shades the darker shades of the purple being in different places and then some being bigger than other allows each canvas to look different.

I love the way that the artists have used the hands submerged in to the water. I would love to use the influences of the hands and the way that hands are submerged, i would like to see if i could submerge the hands in the clouds and to look like the clouds are being picked up.

I love the use of the eye and i like that the way that the artist used the whole part of the eye to create the part of the art work. I would like to use the influence of the eye and using it to create art, i would like to add the clouds in to the eye and see if looks good. Whether putting the clouds in to the eye like the picture so having to looking like you are looking in to the clouds in there eye or then having it swapped around so you have the eye shape as the black area like the plane window and having it as if you are looking out at the sky.

I really like the 2 watercolours line drawings. I really like how the colour is all in the background of the sky and the foreground is just line work and just in black and white.i love the whole looking out of the window in to the sky thing. I would like to see if i could incorporate than in to my influences, i wouldnt like to use watercolour as it isn’t my style, i would probably like to try and adapt it to acrylic paint and to see how that looks. Would I paint it or would i create it digitally, creating it digitally seems like the easiest option as you can sketch it out and layer it up easier than if you were to paint it.

These are all digital art (apart from the last 3 on the last picture). I love all of these i love the colours of each of them has. It gives me the feeling of calmness and dreams when i look at them.

For the first picture, I really like the first one, where the girl is walking on the beach, i like the colours of the greens and the blues with the contrast being the lights coming from the path and the lights of the fireflys or lanterns. I like the ones that have the jellyfish in them especially the one with the the window with the girl looking out upon them, i like the colours with the purple and the multiple shades of blues, this creates depth and creates the water like area. I like that in the pink one all the colours are basically different shades of pink with a blend of a light blue/grey at the top, you have to really look close to see the change in colour and there is just the white cloud for a real difference in colour, although it makes it hard to really tell the detail and find out what is going on, i like the moon shape that is hidden in the center of the piece. On the last image on the first picture i like that the jellyfish seem to be swimming in the sky. I like that there isn’t much going on in the sky part of the drawing and that it isn’t very detailed. The detail is in the bottom of the piece where the lights and the clouds are.

For the second picture, i love the use of the moons and in turn the use of the circles. I like the first one, the way that the moon sits on the water. I like how the brightness of the pink sits against the deepness of the blue, i like that the shining reflection of the moons pink colours helps create and define the ripples in the water. I love the second image in this picture, i love the use of the circle but how it isn’t just an outline it is the inside that makes up the circle shape with the different shades of bar like building/towers. I like the last one on this picture as the river created by the dripping moon is a good idea. I love the way that the clouds have made up the landscape.

In the third image as only 2 of the 4 pictures are digital images, i will only be talking about those images. As the other images aren’t that interesting and only the colours of the clouds and the backgrounds interest me. Although with the digital images, on the image on the left, I like the digital brush marks that the artist has left, i like that artist chose not to blend the colours together, to layer them up with the lighter to the darker colours. The sweeping nature of the brush strokes give the piece movement. I just love the orange next to the blue. On the image the on the right, i love the whole concept of this piece. I love the idea of the cassette tape, i am unsure of why it is floating in the water.

I would like to take influences of the digital designs in to my art practice. It would be nice to be able to use the digital art the way it is intended. I would like to incorporate the colours and the moons and the clouds in to my designs. I love the whole cassette tape idea, would i use an outline and create the art inside of it or as the picture shows have the cassette be see through and have the background as the art.

I love the idea of painting on the cassette tapes. I love the colours and the way that the artist has blended and uses all friendly colours that all work together. I would like to incorporate this in to my art, but i think that the painting on actual cassette could be expensive and worthless if they dont work or look right, so i would probably create it digitally. This is also explained in the Instagram Research post.

I love these types of illustration digital art. They remind me of stickers. The designs are simplistic in design with the linework being single lines and then the colours are bright and vibrant but then they are all blended so well and the colours are a chosen few.

I love the use the adding things in to bottles influence in my art. The way that the artist has added stuff to bottles, stuff that you wouldn’t normally see in bottles eg. The sky or the star signs or the moons. The same goes for the diamond shapes the is things that aren’t suppose to be in the diamonds eg. The water, the night and the clouds. I love the little details in the background, like the circles, the little star details and then the leaves.

The first half of the pictures are like those of the previous picture. The single line drawing that look like very sticker like and very bright and vibrant in colour choice. I like the use of the pill design with the dark inside but then the lighter background. The soda can is interesting as usually you shouldn’t be able to see inside the can, so the design would be on the outside of the can but in this case the can is see through. The colours of background and the colours in the soda can are the same, so then it is hard to tell the difference between the background and the inside of the soda can.

The last 3 pictures in this picture, these are little rooms that the artist has created. I love the detail that the artist has used whether it is in colours they have used or picking a good light source. Allowing for all the crazy little details and lines that were added.

I would like to include this art styles in to my art and use them as influences. Would i like to see if i could include the simple sticker like drawings in my work, i think i would just create the designs for the sticker are as then the you can create multiple designs with different colours. Maybe it would be nice to see if I could create a room based off of a them or off my own interests might be interesting.

I love the look of these digital images. The use of the old DS design with its unique colour and the game that the artist designed. Then the use of the music style software app, with the artist using the album art space as then to be able to show their ability and art style, the use of the purple for the background with the grid makes the piece seem more like the a piece of art work as normally the background is usually white and it makes the art work dull. For the next to the artist has a very distinctive style as you can tell that the 2 pieces of artwork are done by the same artist.

I love the use of the phone camera and the instagram app designs. I would like to use them as an influence and try to create something of my own designs. I like the way that the artist has designed outside the boxes also this add to the background and doesnt make it look dull.

I also like that the use of the pill capsules at the bottom are here again but however these are more detailed than the previous ones. I dont know which i like better as they both give off the same idea but then the ones on this picture clearly took longer to create. I like that there is 4 different themes going on in each of the pills this allows for the artist to express the the variety in their work.

I really love the idea of painting on cd or vinyl. I love the way that the circles make the art work look. I would love to incorporate this in to my art project but the use of vinyls can be expensive and then the use of buying blank CD/DVD is tricky as not many places sell them now a days. Maybe i would have to see if i could digitally creating and editing them somehow. I love the idea of the clouds and the Van Gogh painting one, i do like the one that has the bees on it but then that doesnt fit with the project i am currently working on but there is no harm in saving it for later.

#studiopractice

[nieloxychen]

time to ramble abt a weird and super real feeling dream i had that ill now try to make a story and multiple ocs out of

important: takes part across several worlds with one single connecting character. most of the ocs exist in the last, most recent world (that main oc tries his fucking best to stay in bc its actually not a complete dumpster fire)

main oc is tito (he/him, they/them, it/its on occasion)

world 0 - 

doesnt remember much

his origin

died in a car(?) crash somewhere in a desert next to a broken down rv

world 1 -

 wakes up semi corporeal somewhere in a desert next to a broken down rv

something bad (not defined yet) happened and a young woman is hiding in the rv from the sth bad that happened

shes looking fr her sister

tito cant help but help her out and they look for her together since 2 is better than 1

she has been looknig for help for a while

no one has been willing to since she thinks her sister is in the middle of the bad thing

(also the big city. lots of gross stuff everywhere, lots of ppl trying to murder)

no one wants to go there

they go together and nearly die a lot

both get infected w a strange illness

shes geting better, hes slowly dying

they find the sister (why she was there idk yet) and tito basicly sacrifices themself so the sisters can escape the bad thing

badly wounded he crawls away into an alley and breaks down next to some trash cans

(just remembered that somewhere in this world there was like a hill made of grey bodies all weaved together and like tunnels in there and the arms were moving and shit what)

colour here were mostly grey and brown

world 2 -

wakes up in an alley next to some trash

hears music, its a festival!! 

he goes to check it out, its a sports thing w like speed and stuff! 

seems like a nice place right? wrong. 

that sport is forced, loser gets sacrificed to big weird monster thing

 kind of a hunger games situation happens, he offers himself up so a parent isnt seperated from a child (just cant not help, its a bad decision and they get that but they just *clenches fist* hero comlpex a bit)

obviously looses, he doesnt fucking know the sport, what did he expect? 

BUT the infection from world 1 did sth to him? (superpowers kinda, has no clue what anything is or does) 

hes still affected by it somehow and is able to escape the ppl leading him to the monster thing to eat

finds out they picked a rando instead and feels bad

tries to save the rando

figures out monster thing is basicly a big fungus that uses ppl to carry spores 

-> the infection he carries infects a spore carries and they die immediatly

quick plan: infect fungus w a disease it is completly unkonw to

doesnt work, spore carriers actually are connected to fungus, its building anti-bodies

he dies in the sewers trying to escape the ppl feeding the fungus.

world 3 - 

wakes up in the sewers

THERS WERE-PPL!! dont change into any specific animal, but tend to have a favourite

theyre kinda nice, help them out, give them food 

they accidentally get infected through shenanigans (it was very non-specific in the dream yo)

tries to figure out both infection based power systems here, quicker to get the were-thing since ppl aroung them actually know what that is. everything else is just weird to everyone

also - possibility of first infection evolving through each world change? didnt notice powers in world 1, only some in world 2, more here?

BUT also very little time to try and figure shit out till now

very chill for a while, hopes they can settle down and maybe not die maybe

SURPRISE children are getting kidnapped!!

by who?? to where? why??? no fucking clue!!

so tito goes to help bc thats just what theydo by now fuck

gets captured, basicly forced to do what kidnappers want w threat of children getting killed (im just gonna say they were able to do them damage for a while before the kidnappers figured out who he is/ a weakness. there was no reason anywhere)

they find a hole in the command chain, go out in a blaze of glory, all the kidnappers are gone (as far as they know)

theyre also very dead and bleed out in the middle of a field

world 4 - 

HOLY SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING

flying vampires, flesh-goo ppl (idk, the pic i remember was a lady changing into a black-greyish flesh-goo to climb up 90° walls in a seond), theres slenderman maybe????? all kinda sorta want to kill tito for the reason of...

well there has to be a reason he keeps waking up in different worlds right?

but hes not super good at thinking and they dont stop to explain it so??

arent just trying to kill him though, theres also some old man theyre going after

helps the old man, is the grandchild (adopted) of some immortal lady

she is very thankful and gives him the gift of 3 very specific magic powers of his choosing (theyre like marbles and he has to pick 3)

1. Open any door anywhere (doesnt need to be connected) and just wish to go to a place (the more specific the better)

2. Change anything he wants to into a small marble though sheer will power. has to concentrate to keep the shape

3. basicly featherfall but more controlled. actually, more like steven universe floating powers

by now the first infection is basicly a magic system of its own but its all very instinct based. poor tito has no fucning clue

the colour here were very bright, lots of flowers and sunshine and stuff

and just a fucking slenderman flying behing dream-me, blasting through houses and trees and shit?

dies after being chased by flying slender-vampire and goo lady (wasnt fighting back bc they were proctecting sth? idk what though) in like an abandoned farmhouse

world 5 -

wakes up in farmhouse, theres a person!

ocs here we go

person is helke. shes nice but kind of scary sometimes. its mostly a joke for her though

she helps him get used to the world

his powers are by now vry fucking op. but there are SO many powers here too and she fills him in

silver minds: can sense things like weapons if theyre being carried w the intent to harm them or someone they want to look out for. can redirect them against their users, or just stop them alltogether. somewhat staticy voice when stressed, very cold to the touch. born this way

schalks: completly immune to mind intrusion based powers. somewhat of a pack mentality. cannot be located if they dont want to be, very selective in what contact they want. group together for social contact, and also: need contact to eachother bc they need to share excess energy between eachother or they kinda implode. infection based, 2 schalks can have schalk bbys but not often

werewolves: ya only wolves. helke is one! grow up in packs, but adults tend to seperate from larger packs to form their own. can change whenever, super strong always, also fast when changed. just really like raw meat yk? born this way, packs can be made up from basicly anything

more im gonna add, but these i remember. not including the names

basicly helke wants to start a pack and invites him to stay since she doesnt like being alone and wants to help, and ofc he wants to help her

they meet another young werewolf (i think. big fighty and a beard. might be sth else at some point) and he joins them. this is nikola

they meet a young girl, whos a silver mind and kinda running away from home bc bad home life. her names rita.

they invite her to join the pack, which she does and pack rules are kinda big so after proving themselves as reasonably good guardians for her shes officially adopted

she runs into a lonely (very lonely, kinda dying) schalk who lost contact to their group and the pack help them find their group.

their name is an

the group becomes kinda part of the pack, but the rest of the schalk group isnt a fan of big groups of ppl, so the 4 schalks and the 4-pack live in different locations

now /someone/ notices tito like how goop-slener-vamp did in world 4 and tries to capture tito (who was hanging out w rita while that happened.

thank fuck for marble magic, so rita is safe, tito can flee to the schalks (take us somewhere safe)

an turns tito into a schalk, so he wont be found anymore so now he has to kind of move between the 2 camps a lot

on their way to and fro they meet another kid called jacko (also running away, wont say why). is taken into the pack after more safety precautions

hes just a lil human, no magic nothing 

thats the story ig

tito - (he/they/it), roughly 25 (time is weird) not good at thinking, wants to be nice, wants to help, very op, kinda whimsical, very sweet person. DOES NOT WANT TO DIE AGAIN it sucks just want to be happy and make others happ, protective big sibling, everyone is their baby sib

helke - (she/her), 27 wants to help and have a big family/pack, big jokester, tries to be scary, only strangers will believe that, great at handywork and making every sort of meat food. also hunting. lumberjack vibe, chills w nikola, sports w tito, gmaes w kids

nikola - (he/him), 24 chill weed vibe. big fan of cleaning, lock your door if you dont want him to do your laundry. big into birdwatching. somehow in a pack w very intense or op folk which he finds a bit intimidating. doesnt realise hes also big intimidating. has gotten into 3 fights in his life but they were SCARY af, safe zone for tito, fun zone w tito

rita - (she/her), 15 good girl, can be kinda scary, very competetive, VERY COMPETATIVE, will draw hearts on your cast and help you and stuff, after having broken your arm, close w helke and tito

jacko - (he/him), 11 good boy, v shy, v opinionated. would have a blog if older. tried to make one but fled after 1 bad interaction. had to talk abt that a lot to understand it. arts n crafts boy, also climbing, looks up to nikola a lot

an - (they/them), 26 very quiet, thinks theyre right p much always, wants the best for everyone, but not super great at respecting ppls wishes. needs sense knocked into them every now and then. tries very hard. fails. plyam w leena and karim, not good w nikola

leena (she/them), 25, big into animals, big into food, big into random interest of the week. looses interest quickly though

karim (he/him), 26, big art, the one braincell between all the schalks (including tito bc omg BOY), draws creepy things on trees to fuck w ppl, prankster fuck

essek (he/they) 24, fashion and food, loudest of the schalks, goes into the city to get neccessities and general stuff, kinda crushing on tito, sib of karim

in general, the pack is very close. even an and nikola, but theyre kinda cold since an turned tito (tito is ok w it, nikola is big mad an didnt give tito an option, big fight 3, very fucking scary). but they do love eachother a lot, what ive noted were just the stand outs.

same w the schalks, theyre very close but i havent had any of these long enough to get a super good feel on the relationships between eeryone

but i love them already

#oc stuff #oof #very long post #the dream was seriously wild and this is much less so ig #idk what happens anymore i worked on this for like 3 hours now help #send asks abt the ocs if you wanna i could use the help to flesh them out

[selfsustainability-blog]

[24/10/2018, 18:47:33] donSELZ: so taking care of yourself enough that you are able to take cate of others [24/10/2018, 18:47:42] donSELZ: care* [24/10/2018, 18:49:12] Ella: Yeah kind of But I don’t think take care is the right wording but it’s along those lines I just don’t know the right words now ahah [24/10/2018, 18:49:51] donSELZ: yea, it's just cause what we are talking about is essentially self care [24/10/2018, 18:50:25] donSELZ: and the idea that we have to take care of our own situation before we are able to extend ourselves to others [24/10/2018, 18:50:46] Ella: Yeah [24/10/2018, 18:51:45] donSELZ: i remember Jihye was talking about how that might be seen as selfish/unkind and not wanting to compromise being the compassionate person that she wants to be/is [24/10/2018, 18:52:34] donSELZ: but we shouldnt be compassionate to other people at the expense of our selves [24/10/2018, 18:52:57] donSELZ: we have to be compassionate and kind to ourselves first [24/10/2018, 18:53:32] donSELZ: but also just as much as we should be kind and compassionate to others [24/10/2018, 18:54:35] Ella: Yes and I think when I say take care of others it’s more of a help others be self sustaining so helping them find the tools and stuff that work for them that help them be self sustaining [24/10/2018, 18:54:49] Ella: Mentally and physically [24/10/2018, 18:54:52] donSELZ: yeah, i fot thT [24/10/2018, 18:54:54] donSELZ: that* [24/10/2018, 18:54:57] donSELZ: got* [24/10/2018, 18:55:09] Ella: Okay cool I think that is better working than take care [24/10/2018, 18:55:19] donSELZ: okie doke [24/10/2018, 18:55:26] Ella: Wording [24/10/2018, 18:55:28] donSELZ: i use care because even though that is specific to you [24/10/2018, 18:55:56] donSELZ: care is more general so it includes and relates to what everyone in the group is talking about [24/10/2018, 18:56:09] Ella: Ahh yeah that makes sense [24/10/2018, 18:57:24] Ella: And I think the potential unkindness of being selfish is a real fear/anxiety of many people [24/10/2018, 18:58:44] Ella: I guess that there are ways to counteract it in life where you try and communicate with people around you as best you can so that they understand and don’t just think you are being mean. And it’s a shift in perception. If you have been brought up with the idea that selfishness is bad it’s a difficult thing to pivot your thinking around [24/10/2018, 19:00:12] donSELZ: yeah it's hard to change your mindset because you see how people react to you when you take away your hand inorder to help yourself up first [24/10/2018, 19:00:34] donSELZ: and seeing how people react makes you question yourself [24/10/2018, 19:00:48] Ella: Yeah it’s uncomfortable [24/10/2018, 19:01:00] donSELZ: even though your wanting to protect yourself first is right [24/10/2018, 19:02:24] donSELZ: but yeah it is uncomfortable which makes it harder to internalise the idea that caring for yourself first is a good thing and a really important thing [24/10/2018, 19:05:26] Joy: Its kinda the starting point of my study. It can told as  'unconscious anxiety I feel as associating with people' and ' having emotional security as being a selfless but selfish person' [24/10/2018, 19:06:19] Ella: I think there is also a really interesting aspect which is narcissism and certain aspects of care is celebrated. Such as financial success but your mental health isn’t. Just look at the amount of you tubers and other social media type people who are loved/revered and they are selfish people. (They are also disliked) [24/10/2018, 19:06:29] Joy: Omg your idea  helped me a lot to get through the part I was struggling with. i will upload my idea as soon as possible. Im adjusting it now. [24/10/2018, 19:06:39] donSELZ: wooo [24/10/2018, 19:06:58] Ella: Okay cool 😀 looking forward to reading it x [24/10/2018, 19:07:42] Joy: Yh it suggests another way of interpretation on the term but relevant to it I guess [24/10/2018, 19:07:56] Joy: 😍 [24/10/2018, 19:09:50] donSELZ: selfish means "lacking consideration for other people, concerned mainly with one's own profit or pleasure" [24/10/2018, 19:10:20] donSELZ: but what you guys are describing is not about lacking consideration for other people at all [24/10/2018, 19:10:41] Ella: Yeah so it’s more like perceived selfishness rather than actual selfishness [24/10/2018, 19:10:59] donSELZ: youre talking about caring for yourself but why does that automatically mean you dont care about other people [24/10/2018, 19:11:07] donSELZ: it's not a this or that thing [24/10/2018, 19:11:24] donSELZ: they can co exist [24/10/2018, 19:12:15] donSELZ: yeah it is perceived selfishness, but yeah that's why i prefer using the words self preservation [24/10/2018, 19:15:07] Ella: Okay yeah that makes sense

I guess because of the culture we have been brought up in it’s a binary and you are one or the other so to occupy two things that is slightly contradictory on the surface is hard for people to wrap their heads round [24/10/2018, 19:15:32] donSELZ: yesss i love this, we're relating to risk group [24/10/2018, 19:15:45] donSELZ: i wrote a bit about it in my essay - the binary [24/10/2018, 19:15:54] Ella: Ahh cool! [24/10/2018, 19:15:55] Joy: Thats the part I donno how to deal with. Bascially selfishness has a negative idea basing on social term. But i guess we all dont take it negatively including me. The point being is i wanna say being selfish in a certain level isnt a harm in community but there is a fine line between being selfish or being self-centred(not sure if it is a positive way of saying selfish person) person [24/10/2018, 19:15:59] donSELZ: i will copy and paste here [24/10/2018, 19:16:37] donSELZ: yeah i understand that, and i dont see it as negative in the way that you are using it at all [24/10/2018, 19:17:04] donSELZ: but because when you look up what the word selfish means [24/10/2018, 19:18:31] Joy: Yhh i just think that when we have a talk with people, it will be essential to explain about how we define selfishness in our theory X [24/10/2018, 19:19:16] donSELZ: i think i the word selfish is bound to be negative because what we are describing doesnt mean what the dictionary says selfish means [24/10/2018, 19:19:22] Ella: Yes I think that is a good idea and then coming up with a couple of key questions that we would find helpful to discuss [24/10/2018, 19:20:27] Joy: Yh ture. [24/10/2018, 19:20:30] donSELZ: what we are talking about is self preservation, which we can say is a type of selfishness that doesnt negate caring for others [24/10/2018, 19:20:42] donSELZ: from my works in the past i used this quote a lot "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare" [24/10/2018, 19:20:53] donSELZ: by Audre Lorde [24/10/2018, 19:21:15] Ella: Andre lorde is a boss!!! [24/10/2018, 19:21:29] donSELZ: which helped me a looot with the ideas around caring for myself and not feeling like that makes me a self centred type of selfish person [24/10/2018, 19:21:41] Joy: Fab. I will look for Audre Lorde!! [24/10/2018, 19:21:48] donSELZ: awesome [24/10/2018, 19:26:56] donSELZ: “the binary femininity/masculinity also supports other binaries by making them appear natural or legitimate as well. Other binaries that follow from our examples might read as follows: home/work, private/public, and passive/active. In each of these binaries, the first of the pair is gendered feminine while the second is gendered masculine” – (pg. 2, French and Bliss 2006) [24/10/2018, 19:27:35] Ella: I feel like I have seen this quote somewhere before [24/10/2018, 19:27:44] donSELZ: lool well you read my essay [24/10/2018, 19:27:47] donSELZ: so it might be that [24/10/2018, 19:27:48] donSELZ: hahaha [24/10/2018, 19:27:50] Ella: Ahh yeah hahahah [24/10/2018, 19:27:54] Ella: 😂😂 [24/10/2018, 19:28:14] donSELZ: this is what i wrote about:

Often, self-care is seen as a private act that only stays internal. However true self-care naturally externalises itself often. Self-care is an intimate act with yourself that then affects the you outside of yourself. It swims back and forth between the ‘public’ and the ‘private’, but this is not always realised. It is bound by the traditions of the binary that we see our world in; derived from the gender binary of man or woman, and so we also see self-care in the binary of either public or private, but like gender the public and private also exist on a spectrum. [24/10/2018, 19:28:15] Ella: No I think it might of also been referenced in a book about metaphors that I have [24/10/2018, 19:28:27] donSELZ: hahahah yeah probably [24/10/2018, 19:28:43] donSELZ: ohhhh hahah was it the book you borrowed me this summer [24/10/2018, 19:28:51] Ella: Yeah ahah [24/10/2018, 19:31:32] Joy: Loool it seems like its my turn😂😂😂 i am still writing....sorry.. give me 5mins guys X [24/10/2018, 19:31:46] Ella: Haha it’s cool take ya time x [24/10/2018, 19:32:01] donSELZ: 😂😂😂❤ [24/10/2018, 19:47:37] Saamiyah: I think for me, the way I’m thinking of it is being selfish in some aspects of my life like only doing thing that may only benefit me. [24/10/2018, 19:48:35] Ella: Like what [24/10/2018, 19:54:37] Joy: Self-sustainability and Selfishness or Selflessness

My study mainly looks at being self-sustainable in regards to individual acts in society. Living in society requires us to adapt ourselves in an environment and live interactively with elements surrounding us, such as social life, cultures, regulations, and so on. When it comes to dwelling in a community, we easily find ourselves following the flow of society and hard to assert ourselves due to the care of how to be perceived and considerate attitude towards others. This tendency has existed since the first time human start to live collectively and reciprocally; it results in the concept of natural attitude to associating with environments. What is the natural attitude in the context? The term can be explained as the attitude (tendency) generally making a beneficial consequence to everyone. We have been learnt to be kind and selfless to people is essential, which causes resistance to selfishness and taking the word negatively. Besides, as there is a guideline of attitude to assimilate society, the unconscious anxiety of making a decision on an individual's action deeply place in their mind. [24/10/2018, 19:54:57] Joy: I havent finished it but i realised my 5mins was too long loooool [24/10/2018, 19:55:34] Joy: Please understand my grammartic errors 😂😂 [24/10/2018, 20:00:45] Ella: Ahah it’s all good.

So looking at the fear around becoming self sustainable and te perceived selfishness that entails whilst also adapting and navigating all the other human experiences of culture, relationships, law etc [24/10/2018, 20:02:03] Ella: @447473131379 can you elaborate on what you were saying? [24/10/2018, 20:07:06] Saamiyah: I think what I’m trying to say is that because I was bought up and live in a world where we have to constantly think of helping others, that when I want to do something they may only benefit me or saying “no”to people whether it be family or friends, it’s seen as a negative thing. So I want to explore the idea of doing things/saying “no” that may only benefit me (I don’t know what) [24/10/2018, 20:07:20] Saamiyah: Without feeling guilty [24/10/2018, 20:08:46] Joy: Exactly! [24/10/2018, 20:21:23] donSELZ: this relates so much to what im looking at! [24/10/2018, 20:23:08] donSELZ: that unconscious anxiety is what manifests the "looking glass self" [24/10/2018, 20:23:58] donSELZ: the looking glass self states that our self-views form as a result of our perceptions of other people’s opinions of us [24/10/2018, 20:25:19] donSELZ: and that unconscious anxiety of being seen as selfish starts to manifest in our minds as a "truth" even though it is not true at all [24/10/2018, 20:26:09] donSELZ: because of the hyper awareness because of the unconscious anxiety of how people might perceive it we can start to believe that about ourselves which becomes unhealthy [24/10/2018, 20:26:28] donSELZ: the guilt becomes unhealthy [24/10/2018, 20:36:00] Joy: It summarises what i want to say!👍 [24/10/2018, 20:38:42] donSELZ: :D

[themoneybuff-blog]

Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/

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Price for motorcycle insurance?

"Price for motorcycle insurance?

So my parents just bought my brother a brand new car and just told me that I wont be getting it til 3-4 years from now . and I'll be 20 something by then! I'm 16 turning 17 this year by the way. and it sucks even more because my other brother had received his car when he was 18, which is totally unfair because I have achieved more things than him, academic and community wise.    So anyways, I've been wanting a motorcycle since I was a little girl and since I will be working this summer and winter, I was hoping on buying a used motorcycle, specifically any Kawasaki Ninja, at the beginning of 2010.    Insurance price please? I know it ranges from age, experience, accidents, and etc.    I'm a 16 year old female that will be getting her regular permit in June and after 6 months, I will be getting my motorcycle license. Won't be driving a car anytime soon, obviously.   Oh and I'm in the bay area of California if that changes anything?    Thanks for the help, just need to know how much to save.    Oh and if your wondering why I wont just buy a car, because I only wanna save 5 grand max and that will only get me a wack car.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I have honda aero motorcycle 750 cc.. may i know which is the best company to go with????? Thanks

Price for motorcycle insurance?

So my parents just bought my brother a brand new car and just told me that I wont be getting it til 3-4 years from now . and I'll be 20 something by then! I'm 16 turning 17 this year by the way. and it sucks even more because my other brother had received his car when he was 18, which is totally unfair because I have achieved more things than him, academic and community wise.    So anyways, I've been wanting a motorcycle since I was a little girl and since I will be working this summer and winter, I was hoping on buying a used motorcycle, specifically any Kawasaki Ninja, at the beginning of 2010.    Insurance price please? I know it ranges from age, experience, accidents, and etc.    I'm a 16 year old female that will be getting her regular permit in June and after 6 months, I will be getting my motorcycle license. Won't be driving a car anytime soon, obviously.   Oh and I'm in the bay area of California if that changes anything?    Thanks for the help, just need to know how much to save.    Oh and if your wondering why I wont just buy a car, because I only wanna save 5 grand max and that will only get me a wack car.

Good health insurance!?

I need an good health insurance located in Indiana? Any recommendations and experiences ?

Uninsured driver with no license driving car with insurance hit my car.?

A teenager hit my car. He had no insurance, no license, but he was driving a relative's car that did have insurance. There is no question he is liable, everything seem to be going well. But now there insurance company is telling me they are disputing wheather or not the kid had permission to drive the car. What are the chances I'm gonna get screwed here? And what should I do?""

I need cheap insurance?

I have a vauxhall corsa 1.2 SXi and I am 18. The cheapest is 1300 but I know people have got theres for 900

What medical insurance is cheap in California? ?

Is there medicaid n Cali ? Or just Oklahoma

Can i combine all of my insurances into one payment?

I have comprehensive car insurance that also has income protection for the finance on the vehicle. I would like to cancel the loan protection insurance so i can take take out income protection insurance on my entire financial commitments and not just on the loan. i.e. i want to cover my rent etc as well I would also like to take out private health insurance Is there a way that i can combine: Comprehensive car insurance Income protection insurance Private health insurance

What is a reasonable price for a teen's first car?

I'm hoping to get my license soon, but figure, there isn't a whole lot I can do with it without a car of my own. I'm really not sure how low the prices of cars get without being a piece of junk. Are there decent cars that start in the thousands, or is everything pretty much over ten thousand? What difference does it make if it's used? I'm not looking for a dream vehicle, just something for the next few years to get myself from a to b. The only knowledge I have so far is that my mom's toyota was around $30,000 brand new (and I'm definitely not looking to spend that much), so that's basically what I'm comparing everything else to. Any advice on the basics is greatly appreciated. Thanks!""

""Where can I find affordable dental insurance, that I can use immediatleywith no waiting period?

Im in the state of VIRGINIA :)

Renewing car insurance?

My car insurance is up for renewal in January and I have been looking quotes up on the internet. But when it asks for the period of licence held for I put 0 years as I passed my test in July but my car was insured in my name from january when I was on a provisional. I then put that I have 1 years no claims as I havn't claimed in the year that I've had the car insurance but it won't accept it as it says I can' have no claims that is greater than the period i've held my license for. So do I put that i've had my license for a year (which would include the provisional period) or do I put that I havn't got any no claims. Thank's in advance.

Can anyone give me a quote for car insurance on a 2006 Trailblazer??

I'm 22, female, a college student, I've never had any tickets (knock on wood) I wanted to lease the car but I wanted to know what people thought my insurance would be.""

Vehicle Insurance Survey4?

11) Please mention your agreement level with the following statements 1) Strongly disagree 2) Disagree 3) Neutral 4) Agree 5) Strongly Agree Statements 1 2 3 4 5 My insurance company settle claims faster as per my expectation My company introduces different product to my requirement My insurance company does not settle claims as per my expectation 12) Please mention the level of satisfaction with the following features offered by current insurance company. Criteria Highly Dissatisfied Dissatisfied Neutral Satisfied Highly Satisfied Cost Brand Referral Hassles free claims Bonus rate Ease of purchase Return fee Professional advice Linked with another product Choice of selecting your own service centre 13) How many years you have been using your vehicle (i) Less than 2 YEARS [ ] (ii) 2-5 YEARS [ ] (iii) 5-10 YEARS [ ] (iv) MORE THAN 10 YEARS [ ] Please fill Vehicle Insurance Survey5

Good/Cheap Turbo'd car? No hondas?

What's a good and cheap car around 15,000 used with around 20,000-40,000 miles on it, I was thinking of a SRT-4 or a cobalt SS but I want more ideas too, I'm 18 and I dont want my insurance to completly blow up, I did drive a 1999 merc cougar and I was paying more for a sports car in insurance til I blew a head gasket on that POS, so I am wondering if a 4cyl turbo'd car would be cheaper or not too bad in insurance,? I live in Florida, thanks to whoever""

What is the best kind of life insurance?

should one buy to take care of their final expenses . What is term life ins? I am in my 60's and don;t want to burden my children to have to pay for my funeral someday.

I just passed my driving test but the insurance quotes i am getting for 1.0-1.2 engines are around 7000?

Where ever i look on the internet, whatever car i choose which is say around 4-6 years old with 1.0-1.2 engines the insurance quotes are around 7000 - 8000 i entered all my details correctly, i've held my license for a month. I do not understand why this is happening. Help Thanks""

I need to find the best car insurance!?

I'm looking to buy car insurance on an 04 Chrysler Sebring. I have been in a few accidents so I know finding it cheap will be a little hard. But I'd like to go as cheap as possible, what would you reccommend ? I'm just looking for opinions :) I'm 19 if that matters .""

Best overall car insurance company?

In your opinion (or based on any experiences) what is the best kind of car insurance?

I want to choose my insurance instead?

how will i know if there is a place for me in my insurance option

Car insurance canceled my policy. i got in an accident and then paid the money. they accepted the money and?

then refused to cover the accident. i was told since they accepted the money and didn't make me open a new policy with a new down payment. and didn't give me my money back ...show more

Does your insurance cover your new car purchase?

Example, I have insurance on 2 cars, but I just bought a new car and I have not added the car to the policy. Does my insurance still cover the purchased veichle?""

How much would the insurance be?

I'm a 17 year old male wanting to get full coverage on a 2006 Supercharged Cobalt SS. It's a coupe, silver, standard, and has a 2.0 liter supercharged engine. Does anybody know how much full coverage would be for me in this car?""

How to convince my dad to insure the car? Thanks?

I had a car accident in my 2004 Honda under my dads insurance. Im 19 and I didnt get dropped from insurance. The accident had 3 claims of bodily injuries and a total loss car & I was at fault. I have the money to buy another vehicle but my dad wont insure it till the case settles. How do I convince him to insure me now while the case is settling? Hes afraid I might crash before the case is settled but I learned from my car mistake. What do I say? Thanks

How does car insurance work for a student learner?

I'm 21 years old and I just got a permit to learn driving in the state of Illinois. I do not live with my parents, I live with my aunt and uncle who have a car and have auto insurance. How does auto insurance work for someone in my situation? The car I'll be using to practice is not of my parents, and I myself have no auto insurance (I don't own a car or have a DL, obviously) Is auto insurance attached to the car and not the person? Suppose I'm driving a car which has auto insurance of my aunt and uncle, is the car still covered by the insurance? When I take the drivers test using a car that belongs to my aunt/uncle, they will obviously not be present in the car. Will I need to have car insurance at that point to be able to take the exam?""

""Rear-ended, can I ask car insurance to compensate for inconvenience of not having a car?""

Got rear-ended in NJ by a woman and my car was determined a total loss. Her car insurance took over a week to come to a decision that they would take 100% liability for the accident. They made me an offer for the dollar amount of value of the car which was honestly more than what I thought the value was going to be. I have 2 questions... Can I ask for compensation for the inconvenience of not having a vehicle during the time that they were making their decision? And two, I went to the hospital after the accident but haven't received the bills from that yet. If I accept their offer for the damage done to the car can I still get reimbursed for my medical bills later?""

""Just paid off my car! I want to lower my car insurance, advice?""

I just paid off my car and I want to lower my car insurance, but I'm not sure how to go go about it. I still want to maintain good coverage but not pay for so much. I'm a 27 year old male, with a good driving record. I would just like some advice on what coverages I could lower or get rid of and still have myself covered. Thanks""

Has anyone else's car insurance increased this year for no apparent reason (UK)?

Our insurance renewal came through this week and it has increased by 400 to 1,450 for third party cover even though nothing has changed! We went on all the comparison websites and they were all quoting a lot higher too - one quoted us 3,500!! We've actually managed to get it down to 1,300 fully comp with Tesco (Third party quote was higher for some reason?) but I still find this to be a lot considering we are both 24 and my partner has 4 years no claims and has been driving for 5 years and I have been driving for 3 years. Has anyone else found that their insurance has increased this year?""

How can we find a reliable car insurance on the internet?

How can we find a reliable car insurance on the internet?

Price for motorcycle insurance?

So my parents just bought my brother a brand new car and just told me that I wont be getting it til 3-4 years from now . and I'll be 20 something by then! I'm 16 turning 17 this year by the way. and it sucks even more because my other brother had received his car when he was 18, which is totally unfair because I have achieved more things than him, academic and community wise.    So anyways, I've been wanting a motorcycle since I was a little girl and since I will be working this summer and winter, I was hoping on buying a used motorcycle, specifically any Kawasaki Ninja, at the beginning of 2010.    Insurance price please? I know it ranges from age, experience, accidents, and etc.    I'm a 16 year old female that will be getting her regular permit in June and after 6 months, I will be getting my motorcycle license. Won't be driving a car anytime soon, obviously.   Oh and I'm in the bay area of California if that changes anything?    Thanks for the help, just need to know how much to save.    Oh and if your wondering why I wont just buy a car, because I only wanna save 5 grand max and that will only get me a wack car.

Insurance for a new financed car?

I'm planning on financing a car. (May be a Kia Forte, Hyndai accent, or something simmilar). Right now I just have liability insurance and want to know what type of insurance I have to have legally to drive a new financed car. All advice are appreciated. Thanks.""

Health and Auto Insurance?

I'm 25 and have no health insurance, and am still on my parents auto insurance. I would like just the basic for both - I can't really afford anything but the minimum. Any suggestions besides 1-800-safeauto? Affordability is the only thing I care about.""

How much does your insurance go up after you have caused an accident?

I was in a car accident on Jan. 16th (yes, my fault!) and my car was totalled. I am buying a new car and need to know by about how much my insurance will go up. It was $270 a month (full coverage) before. I am 19, by the way. The car I am (hopefully!) buying is a 2000 Ford Mustang.""

Motorcycle insurance prices in uk at 17-19?

Hello, I really want to get a motorcycle at the age of between 17 to 20 (preferably 17-18) but I was wondering how much it would cost for the insurance of a brand new Yamaha r125 and a Kawasaki Ninja 300 at each age between 17 to 20, thanks guys and it would clear some thoughts on how much it would be, what age seems good. I really want to get a bike before uni.""

Does car insurance cover vandalism?

My husbands crazy ex wife. Keyed my car, slit my tires, and put something in my gas tank because my car wont start now. Does my insurance cover it? I have full coverage.""

Motorcycle Insurance Question....?

I live in San Diego California. I was wondering how much do you think i would have to pay for insurance if im 20 and my brother is 25? He has an 08 Kawasaki 650R I have an 08 ZX6R

Can I buy life insurance for my grandmother?

She lives in Alaska and is 82yrs old. She wants me to have a little money and take care of the funeral expenses when she passes. She's in very good health. I was thinking a term life 10yr $100,000 policy. The monthly payment is rougly $572.00 a month. Is it possible if I make the payments on her life insurance?""

Medicinal marijuana and health insurance?

So I live in California and have entertained the idea of getting a medicinal marijuana card, but the thing that always holds me back in the end is the fear that somehow my name would go on some list that insurance companies would have access to, and then proceed to jack up my premiums due to me being flagged a smoker. Does anybody have any insight regarding this? For those of you that have medical cards... did you see an increase in your monthly bill from your health insurance after signing up for the card? I know about doctor/patient confidentiality, but still... legal marijuana is still too new, so I'm being overly cautious, ESPECIALLY when it comes to health insurance premiums. Thanks in advance. -C""

Insurance???????????

I hit a deer and did a little damage to my car. I reported it to insurance company and brought the car to shop for an estimate. they gave me a quote of $1500. I have a $500 deductible so i dropped the car off to get fixed the next day i got a check from the insurance company. Is this my money the check is made payable to me. I don't get it

For Massachusettes drivers-did anyone else's insurance skyrocket when the new rates came out last month?

with the new credit system my rate went up over $700 and I am not happy!!

""Uk car insurance for 19 year old male, and what is the most reliable cheap car to buy?

Just wondering what would be the most reliable cheap car to buy and how much insurance would be for a 19 year old male who has just passed their driving test? Also do you buy the car and then have to get it insured before you drive it out of the lot?

Driver Education/Insurance Rate Information?

For my Driver Education class, one of the assignments goes as follows: Call a local vehicle insurance company and ask if you can take a few minutes to ask some questions. Ask what the insurance rates will be for you when you are ready to drive. Also, ask what the rates would be for someone your age who is not taking any driver education classes. What will the rates be when you are 25 years old? What are they for a person without driver education? What are they for someone convicted of driving while intoxicated? If anyone could spare me the phone call, it would be greatly appreciated.""

Is their insurance for pregnant women?

Hi, I am about 30 weeks pregnant and very scared. I do not have ins at this time. I had a ppo a few months ago that did not cover anything! My bf (ridiculous we were not married) of 11 years just walked out on me and the kids for his selfish reasons. So he is no help besides paying the mortgage. Im not trying to get free insurance, I just need some help on what affordable insurance there are if any that will pick me up. I pay for my visits but im running low on cash. I am on bed rest for incompetent cervix and I am losing it trying to figure ways. I return to work 6 weeks after I have the little one but for now I have no job! Im at lost. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I can pay monthly's but I know that delivery bill is gonna kick me in the butt. I just want to have a little security...""

""What is the average cost of car insurance for a 25 y/o female, no accidents, no tickets, 2008 car.?""

Please help give me an idea of the cost for car insurance. Comprehensive vs. Collision? I'll be buying a 2007 or 2008 mid-range sedan (VW Jetta, Toyota Corrolla, etc.). I've never gotten in an accident or gotten a ticket. And of course, I'm a female :) Any help is appreciated! Thanks.""

Motorcycle Insurance costs amd monthly payments on a motorcycle for a 17 year old male?

Ok, I know you're just going to tell me that I need to have a car first or that I'm too young to have a motorcycle and I need experience and all that ****. But I'm 17 and I want a Honda Shadow Spirit 750 (which I've been told is a great starter bike) I am a safe and cautious driver, if I get one I'll have a helmet, gloves, pants, jacket, boots, etc. I'll take a class for it (which is required in the state of Fl), I've also already had driver's ed last year and I may take another one. I'm th exact opposite of the douche bag teenager on a crotch rocket with no gear weaving in and out through taffic going 90mph in a 45mph zone. In the state of Fl legally you don't need insurance for a motorcycle but I'll have it anyways. I was thinking of maybe putting down $2-3000 and getting a loan for the rest. My mom said that with a load I have to have full comprehensive coverage because I don't own the bike yet. Can you give me an estimate of how much the insurance would cost for a 17 year old male with driving classes and gear and a 3.8GPA, and I'm only going to school to home or to school to work then home (I don't get out much because I don't have many friends) and I have State-Farm. Also how much do you think the monthly payments will be? I'm working on getting 2 jobs. Please and thank you. And please don't be a douche or try and shoot me down or whatever to make yourself feel better about yourself, just please answer my question to the fullest :)""

Cancel Geico Insurance Online?

Is it possible to cancel my insurance online?

""Is a Porsche 944 good in the snow, cheap insurance, etc?""

Hi I really would like to buy a Porsche 944 but I am having trouble convincing my dad that it would be a good car for me. His main arguments are that it would not be good in the snow (I live in Upstate New York). I am willing to buy snow tires but I am not sure about what the ground clearance is on the 944. And he says that insurance would be very high for a teen. Also reliability, but the one I am looking at has only 84k miles on it. I am looking for helpful answers that go either way from expierenced people who have owned 944's. Thanks!""

""If I have an insurance plan that costs $900 a month, with a $50 co-pay, and $10000 deductable?""

how does that work when I go to the doctor? I just asked the same question, but I worded it all wrong, I think. So, I go to the doctor with strep throat and my co-pay is $50 and I have a $10000 deductable. How much will I actually pay? Logic tells me that with a deductable, like car insurance, I would pay for the entire office visit cost, since it would obviously be less than $10000. And a $25 co-pay for prescriptions! So, with that said, I would be paying a monthly payment of $900, the $50 co-pay, and the visit bill. I understand that insurance is for when really bad things happen, but geez. Is this really what people pay? We've been without insurance for 4 years and pay about $30 and office visit (by paying cash) and go to Publix and get $4 prescriptions. Please, someone expain this to me. Do you pay this expense simply because of the possibility of something bad happening?""

Looking to insure a Corvette.?

I'm a 16 year old kid ill be 17 in a few months. I am currently saving money to buy a car and my dad will match what i make to buy a car. but that's not my question, like every teenage boy who takes an interesting we all want one thing: sports car. Of course, i looked into cars like the Mitsubishi Eclipse or whatever but my dream is a corvette. Ive looked at prices for a c4 or c5 vette and to buy them i can manage, its the insurance that's worrying me. Can someone give me an idea of insurance costs for a c4 or c5 corvette for a 17 year old kid? I'd appreciate all the help i can get.""

What is some cheap car insurance companies?

hey so i'm 18 & i'm looking to insure my car again after letting my brother have ago and he crashed it without being insured, i've been to court & i got a 6 week ban & a fine but im starting to look for insurance 7 i was wondering if anyone knew of any cheap ones to try? cheers""

Fastest car to insure cheaply?

hi. im 18 yrs old with only 1 yr's ncb. im looking for a car which is both cheap to insure, and fairly quick. any ideas what i should get?""

I want to do mba in insurance or any type of diploma in insurance field that help me for job in insurance cmp?

currently im working in max life insurance documant exaicutive thats i wnt to do mba or diploma in insurance field plz help me which institute do part time or full time

Insurance companies messed up!?!?

Over three years ago, a pick-up truck crushed the entire back-side of my van. Of course, it wasn't my fault and I took care of the situation by calling the truck driver's insurance company. However, when I was going through my auto insurance profile, I saw something weird, a driving history stating that I was at-fault for that accident three years ago. It's very weird because I claimed an accident not on my insurance company, but the truck driver's. What can I do to fix this? Was I paying more premium because of this mistake? Thank you""

Does anyone know some cheap insurance companies for drivers who just passed?

UK only please :)xx

Driving someones car without insurance?

If you drive someone elses car and that person has insurance but not you, and you get ticketed. do you also get ticketed for driving without insurance. is it possible to drive someones car without you yourslef buying car insurance? btw this is in dallas, texas""

Price for motorcycle insurance?

So my parents just bought my brother a brand new car and just told me that I wont be getting it til 3-4 years from now . and I'll be 20 something by then! I'm 16 turning 17 this year by the way. and it sucks even more because my other brother had received his car when he was 18, which is totally unfair because I have achieved more things than him, academic and community wise.    So anyways, I've been wanting a motorcycle since I was a little girl and since I will be working this summer and winter, I was hoping on buying a used motorcycle, specifically any Kawasaki Ninja, at the beginning of 2010.    Insurance price please? I know it ranges from age, experience, accidents, and etc.    I'm a 16 year old female that will be getting her regular permit in June and after 6 months, I will be getting my motorcycle license. Won't be driving a car anytime soon, obviously.   Oh and I'm in the bay area of California if that changes anything?    Thanks for the help, just need to know how much to save.    Oh and if your wondering why I wont just buy a car, because I only wanna save 5 grand max and that will only get me a wack car.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/health-insurance-plan-affordable-my-area-michael-jones/"

[viralhottopics]

Youll Be Outraged at How Easy It Was to Get You to Click on This Headline

This article will not restore your faith in humanity. Nor will it amaze, stun, delight, shock, charm, or in any literal or figurative way, blow your mind. What it will dohopefully in a clear and intelligent wayis explain why people continually fall for clickbait. You know, like you just did a few seconds ago.

Whether you think it’s on the rise, obscurant and self-negating, not such a big deal, or the root of all evil, one thing is clear about clickbait: It’s increasingly hard to pin down. Some, like Buzzfeeds Ben Smith, narrowly define it as an article that doesn’t deliver on its headline’s promise. Others think it means vapid listicles, quizzes, and Betteridge’s Law headlines. And then there are those who simply use it as shorthand for stuff they don’t like on the Internet.

Heres what most people can agree on: Clickbait is annoying, but by god, it workseven when readers recognize it for what it is. The word’s substantial semantic drift may be behind some of this effectiveness. But a hefty helping of behavioral science is at play, too. As a number of new studies confirm, you can blame your clickbait habit on two things: the outsized role emotion plays in your intuitive judgements and daily choices, and your lazy brain.

Manufacturing Emotion

Clickbait doesnt just happen on its own. Editors write headlines in an effort tomanipulate youor at least grab your attentionand always have. “Headless Body In Topless Bar,” and “Sticks Nix Hick Pix” wouldn’t exist if publications didn’t care about attracting eyeballs. The difference with clickbait is you’re often aware of this manipulation, and yet helpless to resist it. It’s at once obvious in its bait-iness, and somehow still effective bait.

This has a lot to do with emotion and the role it plays in our daily decision-making processes, says Jonah Berger, who studies social influence and contagion at the University of Pennsylvania. Emotional arousal, or the degree of physical response you have to an emotion, is a key ingredient in clicking behaviors. Sadness and anger, for example, are negative emotions, but anger is much more potent. “It drives us, fires us up, and compels us to take action,” Berger says. If you’ve ever found yourself falling for outrage clickbait or spent time hate-reading and hate-watching something, you know what Berger is talking about. “Anger, anxiety, humor, excitement, inspiration, surpriseall of these are punchy emotions that clickbait headlines rely on,” he says.

A growing body of research supports this idea. In a recent paper called “Breaking the News: First Impressions Matter On Online News,” two researchers looked at 69,907 headlines produced by four international media outlets in 2014. After analyzing the sentiment polarity of these headlines (whether the primary emotion conveyed was positive, negative, or neutral), they found “an extreme sentiment score obtained the largest mean popularity.” This not only suggests that strongly negative or strongly positive news tends to attract more readers, they concluded, but also that “a headline has more chance to [receive clicks] if the sentiment expressed in its text is extreme, towards the positive or the negative side.”

Mind the Curiosity Gap

Promising a hilarious or mind-blowing experience using hyperbole and superlatives (even when the subject clearly doesn’t warrant such language) is one way to attract clicks. Another is to provoke curiosity. Upworthy articles are particularly good at this and psychologists have a few theories why.

One of the more popular and enduring ones comes from Carnegie Mellon’s George Loewenstein. In the mid-1990s, Loewenstein came up with what he called the “information-gap” theory. It basically holds that whenever we perceive a gap between what we know and what we want to know, that gap has emotional consequences. “Such information gaps produce the feeling of deprivation labeled curiosity,” he wrote. “The curious individual is motivated to obtain the missing information to reduce or eliminate the feeling of deprivation.”

In other words, not knowing is cognitively uncomfortable. Historically, this is the thinking behind Upworthy-style “what happens next” headlines: “Someone Gave Some Kids Some Scissors. Heres What Happened Next” or “These Workers Just Want Money, And You Wont Believe What They Did To Get Some.” You can make people even more curious, say social psychologists, by presenting them with something they know a little bit about, but not too much.

Numbers and Lists

Umberto Eco famously claimed that humans are drawn to lists because we’re afraid to die. Psychologists agree. Sort of. As many studies show, lists do a number of things extremely well from a cognitive standpoint, including helping us “face infinity and attempt to grasp the incomprehensible.” Here’s a brief list of reasons list headlines are so effective:

They often use numbers, and numbers stand out when we’re scrolling through an endless stream of headlinesparticularly odd numbers.

Those numbers also help quantify story length and hint at the amount of attention (not much) we’ll need to deploy to read the story.

They organize information spatially, which is how our brains like information.

They feel good, existentially, because they eliminate (or at least downplay) the “paradox of choice,” presenting in its stead the illusion of certainty.

The takeaway here is that lists ultimately help create an easier reading (and thinking) experience. And there are few things your brain appreciates more than cognitive ease. As Kahneman writes, “easy is a sign that things are going wellno threats, no major news, no need to redirect attention or mobilize effort.” “The 15 Reasons Why You Can’t Resist List Headlines” promises a pre-defined endpoint and makes the world seem comprehensible. Lists banish mental heavy lifting, complexity, and ambiguity. Click.

Anticipation Is Making You Click

So clickbait employs a number of effective cognitive tricks to get clicks. Fine. But even if readers rely on emotion and cognitive ease when choosing headlines, that still doesn’t explain why clickbait continues to work. Fool-me-once logic should mean that their effectiveness goes down as exposure goes up. How many cheap emotional ploys, false promises, and empty listicles and quizzes can a person endure? A lot, it turns out.

Research has shown that humans are quite willing to put up with massive amounts of disappointment and frustration so long as there’s an occasional payout. And yes, sometimes clickbait does deliver these payouts in spectacular fashion.

Consider the following headline: “These 9 Unlikely Animal BFFs Will Brighten Your Day and Melt Your Heart.” There are hundreds of variations of it onlinemany of them better from a clickbait POVbut you get the idea. We’re talking baby wombats hugging baby kangaroos, maybe some tiny snow leopard kittens playing with fox cubs, that sort of thing.

It’s well established that humans are pre-programmed cute seekers. To our brains’ pleasure centers, there’s little difference between looking at cute animals and consuming sugar or having sex. Indeed, the same neurotransmitter, dopamine, is involved in all three behaviors. That dopamine can manipulate our behavior isn’t news. But the chronology of this process is important when you’re trying to decode clickbait’s effectiveness.

Think of those nine adorable animal pics as a reward (your brain certainly does). Now think of that clickbait headline as a signal, an imminent sign you’re about to see some super-adorbz animal buddies. Lastly, think of the actual clicking of the link as the work you have to do to get that outcome. See headline, click hyperlink, receive super-cute reward. Easy.

You might assume our brains get that wonderful squirt of dopamine after we get the reward (the pics), but it turns out dopamine levels go up much soonerwhen we see the signal. That effectively means the headline itself is what gave you pleasurenot for what it was, mind you, but for what it represented (impending cuteness in 321).

Stanford neuroscientist Robert Sopolsky summarizes the finding this way: “Dopamine is not about pleasure; it’s about the anticipation of pleasure. It’s about the pursuit of happiness rather than happiness itself.”

Happiness in Slavery

What’s really interesting is what happens when you reduce the reward frequency. When it comes only 50 percent of the time, dopamine levels go through the roof. In this sense, a violated promise isn’t a deterrent for clicking behavior, but rather an incentive. As Sopolsky says, “you’ve just introduced the word ‘maybe’ into the equation, and maybe is addictive like nothing else out there.” Psychologists call this intermittent reinforcement, and it basically means that one of the most effective ways to get a specific behavior out of a person is to introduce “perhaps” into the equation.

Now obviously not all clickbait canor even attempts tomanipulate our dopamine levels. But given its involvement in emotional arousal, it’s fair to say it does factor. This complicates the overpromise/underdeliver argument many people use to predict clickbait’s waning effectiveness. Indeed, on a rational level you may know that the adorable girl in this Clickhole video is right: you’ll still feel alone no matter how many videos you watch or how many lists you read. But behavioral science also suggests that reading about the 25 most awkward cat sleeping positions can also be an effective, if ever so brief, antidote to your existential isolation.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2dnCTf9

from Youll Be Outraged at How Easy It Was to Get You to Click on This Headline

#Youll Be Outraged at How Easy It Was to Get You to Click on This Headline

[themoneybuff-blog]

Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/