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borathae · 2 years

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↳ Index [Chapter 39 - Trauer]

• Trauer (German, grief)

Pairing: Taehyung x f.Reader, Yoongi x f.Reader

Warnings: there are a few sweet moments, grief, tears, heartbreak

Wordcount: 8.4k

a/n: ....

Taehyung woke before you. You know he did, because the spot next to you is empty and a little note was resting on his pillow.

“Good morning my sweetest darling. I am out to run some errands. Worry not, I will be back very soon. Look for me in the kitchen if you wake and I am not with you. With adoration Kim Taehyung.”

“You are all the poet Kim Taehyung, aren’t you?” you murmur, smiling.

After some well deserved stretches and dramatic yawns, you roll out of bed, making your way to the kitchen, wrapped up in one of Taehyung's dressing gowns because it was terribly cold in the estate. You blame it on the snowfall, which you can watch from the windows.

“Why the hell is the front door open?” you gasp.

Or perhaps that is the reason for the terrible cold. Snow has already found its way into the estate, a row of footsteps is digging its way through it, fading out on the carpet. A moment later, the owner of said footsteps enters the estate, face hidden behind countless bags of groceries.

“What’s that supposed to be?” you ask, hurrying down the last steps, “come let me help you.”

“Oh darling?” Taehyung peaks from behind the bags, “worry not, I can handle”, he says, hurrying down the hallway.

You follow him, shivering. The door is closed, but the cold is staying.

“Did you go grocery shopping?” you ask.

“Yes, I wanted to prepare something for you and noticed that the fridge was empty so I decided to fill it up for you.”

“Were you now?” you grin, “that’s sweet.”

You enter the kitchen, stopping in your tracks. While Taehyung is busy placing the bags on the kitchen counter and sorting through the groceries, you are busy staring at the dozens and dozens of houseplants on the kitchen island.

“What the hell? Claude? Frida? Everyone? What are you guys all doing here?”

Taehyung turns around with a shy grin on his lips.

“I worried they might die in your apartment”, he lowers his eyes, “I borrowed your keys and brought them here. I apologize if I acted against your will.”

You look at your plants. Most of them seem to be fine and the few which look close to death you are sure you can revive again. You look back at Taehyung, cheeks hurting from smiling so brightly.

"Is this your not so subtle way to get me to move in?"

He looks at his toes and shrugs his shoulders.

"It would be a financially clever idea wouldn’t it? You could save up the money, which you would otherwise use for rent" he murmurs almost inaudibly.

You grin.

“That does indeed sound financially clever”, you say, caressing the leaf of a Monstera, “I actually wanted to ask you if we could visit my place for my plants later today.”

Your eyes meet.

“Well, then I am happy that I could help you”, Taehyung smiles and turns around to busy himself with the groceries instead, “I am sure we will find a fitting place for all of them.”

“Yeah, I’m sure we will”, you murmur, heart fluttering.

You join him by the fridge, picking up a bottle of milk.

“What’s the matter my sweetest?” he asks.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Your heart is beating irregularly”, he explains.

You sneak a glance at him, realising that he is studying your face.

“You can hear that?”

He chuckles.

“Yeah, I know. Stupid question. It is just that….” you lower your eyes, “…Yoongi asked me too and I feel bad because I told him that I wanted to live in my apartment and, and I think he took it the wrong way. I don’t know, he didn’t want to tell me what’s wrong. But it’s just that…I can’t do…”

“Do what, my sweetest?”

You look at Taehyung, meeting patience in his eyes.

“Okay so uhm…” you take a deep breath, “Yoongi told me that I could move into Jimin’s wing if I wanted to.”

“Ah that, yes I heard.”

“You heard?”

He nods his head.

“And? What do you think of it? It’s too much, isn’t it?”

“I think that this is your decision to make.”

“But it’s your best friend’s wing. I don’t want to take this from you.”

Taehyung studies your face, carrying slight sadness in his eyes.

“But Jimin won’t use it anymore either way”, he whispers.

He draws closer and touches your lower back.

“I would rather you have his wing and fill it with life than watch it become covered in dust”, he says and smiles honestly, “so take it my sweetest if you want to, I won’t be angry at you.”

“Really? I don’t want to ruin this for you. It’s not fair of me to steal this from you.”

“You won’t. I would frankly be quite charmed if I knew you were the one who inherited his wing.”

“Really?”

“Of course”, he says and smiles, “although don’t you go thinking that this means you can escape my nightly snuggles. I will just visit you and kidnap you to my bed”, he says, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground to twirl around.

“Ah Tae”, you squeak, feeling so, so happy, “I’m going to be dizzy.”

Taehyung sets you down with a fond giggle, kissing your temple softly. Then he touches the back of your head, petting you slowly.

"Okay so, if I decide to stay in my apartment, would the kidnapping offer still stand?"

Taehyung chuckles, "well the distance would be much greater…", he pretends to think deeply, making you giggle, "...but I guess this is a price I am willing to pay."

“Well, if you’ll kidnap anyways, maybe I’ll actually move in with you”, you say, nudging his chest.

“I’d like that a lot”, he says, dancing his hand to your cheek. It feels so divine to have him touch your face, Taehyung’s fingertips are always so gentle with it. He gives you a fond eye smile and pinches your cheek beyond tenderly.

“And you’ll help me move in?”

“Of course, I’ll carry all those pesky boxes for you.”

You giggle.

“This is so sweet. Thank you Tae”, you whisper, beaming up at him, “I’ll tell Yoongi too and I’m sure he will be happy to hear it.”

“I’m sure he will”, he says, tapping the tip of your nose with his pointer finger, “boop.”

“Did you just boop me?”

“Mhm-hm”, he says, eyes softening, “you’re just so cute.”

“Taehyung”, you whine, flustering, “stop.”

“Hehe”, he boops your nose again, “now, let’s get back to work. Those groceries aren’t storing themselves away.”

You examine the contents of his shopping trip, feeling beyond flabbergasted at the masses of food.

“Good god, did you buy half of the supermarket?” you gasp.

Far too many vegetables and fruit, five different kinds of meat and even more types of cheeses. Three different kinds of bread, eggs, two bottles of milk, he even got pasta of all sorts and a big sack of rice.

“I didn’t know what you would enjoy, so I tried to get the biggest variety of foods”, he explains, storing away the cheeses.

“I can see that. Good god, this is going to last me for like five years.”

Taehyung sneaks a glance your way. He chuckles, giving the back of your head a little pat.

“Are you criticising my choices?”

“Maybe a little”, you tease, “that’s way too much.”

“Now, now my darling, do not judge hastily”, he begins, “you see that wine over there? And those grapes and the baguette?”

You look at all of it, nodding your head.

“Yeah, what about it?”

Taehyung closes the distance between you and him, wrapping his arms around you.

“Shall we have a cheese platter tonight? With wine and grapes and fresh baguette?” he whispers against your ear before he kisses it gently, “I can rub your feet too if you desire or your shoulders, whatever you may prefer.”

“Are you trying to seduce me right now?”

Taehyung smirks lazily.

“Of course I am, we have much catching up to do”, he says, making you smile.

“Kim Taehyung, if I didn’t know any better, it seems that you are a hopeless romantic as well”, you tease, caressing his chest.

“I never claimed to be the opposite”, he says, giving your forehead a soft peck before he turns back to the groceries.

You chuckle softly. He is so cute sometimes. Then you busy yourself with making tea.

“Do you want a cup too?” you ask him, making your way to the water cooker.

“Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you very much.”

You watch him for a little as the water cooks. He is storing away the vegetables, humming to himself as he does.

“Did you already see the weather outside?” he asks you.

“I did, it’s snowed so much hasn’t it?”

“Yes, I was wondering if perhaps you and I could take a snow walk later.”

“Oh Tae”, you draw closer and touch him, “that would be so lovely.”

Taehyung turns, hooking his arms behind your head and placing his hands on the back of your head. He sways you and him from side to side, making it so one foot always leaves the floor. You follow his movements. It feels as if a million colourful butterflies were fluttering in your stomach. You and him are dancing in the kitchen again. This is like a dream.

“Then let’s do that”, he says and with just one twirl he makes you laugh into his chest.

“What are you doing Tae?”

“Dancing, I missed doing it with you.”

“Oh Tae”, you press out, hugging his torso tightly. He is wearing the beige jumper you so love on him. It is finally carrying his warmth in its fibres. You smile, closing your eyes. Your arms are closed around his waist so perfectly, his chest feels just a little firm and yet so terribly soft. And his sweet scent replaces the air in your lungs as his fingers run through your hair tenderly. This is truly like a dream. Those are the things you missed so much and now you can finally experience them again.

Taehyung begins singing then, his voice tickles your ear with his sweet voice, forcing tears of happiness to your closed eyes.

“Oh Tae…”

They are love songs of old times and from his lips they sound as if they were written just for you. As if Taehyung wrote the words himself and as if the melodies came to him in a moment when his thoughts drifted to you. And it reminds you just how wonderful it felt like to be loved by Taehyung. Safe, warm, certain and like home. Being loved by Taehyung is knowing that you can let yourself feel too. Being loved by Taehyung is being certain that he will cradle your heart in his safe hands as tenderly as he can. Being loved by Taehyung is dancing in the kitchen and listening to his singing while outside the snowfall was glimmering in the sunlight.

You melt closer until you couldn’t possibly get any closer. And Taehyung twirls you and him slowly, messing up the words upon hearing the way you giggle into him. He stops singing, burying his nose in your hair.

“Don’t stop”, you whisper.

“I forgot the words”, he confesses.

“Then sing something else, just don’t stop yet.”

“Something else. Let me think of something.”

Taehyung inhales your scent and thinks to himself that nothing will ever be sweeter than you. He twirls you just once and catches you again, melting in fondness when you melt back into him immediately. He thinks of his next song then.

“Now I know”, he whispers and begins serenading you about how falling in love with you has always been his destiny while you listen to him and find yourself getting lost in his voice. Taehyung truly has the sweetest voice. It embraces one like a safe hug after a long day. It warms one like a cup of mellifluous tea after a cold storm. And it brightens one’s darkness which moments ago had felt endless. This is how it feels like to have Taehyung sing for you. Safe, warm and comforting.

And when Taehyung finally finishes his song with a loving kiss to the crown of your head, you know that nothing can hurt you as long as you have Taehyung by your side. You lift your head from his chest.

“Thank you for singing to me, you have such a beautiful voice.”

“You think so? I barely even warmed it up.”

“Oh stop it, you were perfect.”

He smiles.

“You are flustering me.”

“Hehe”, you let out and get on your tiptoes to kiss his lips.

Taehyung would have deepened the kiss, maybe tilted your body back in a romantic gesture, hadn’t the tea clock interrupted you so awfully.

You gasp, flinching back.

You and him sneak a glance at the screeching clock.

“This fella always likes to interrupt us, doesn’t he?” Taehyung says, making you laugh for the sole reason that you are in love with him and everything he says is ten times funnier.

Still giggling and stealing kisses, you and him prepare your cups of tea. You share it in the kitchen, sitting on the kitchen island with your legs crossed whilst discussing the vastness of the universe and telling silly stories to each other. It was fun and made you happy. And in return it made Taehyung feel so alive that he had to check for his pulse after each laughter you stole from him.

Now you are all bundled up in thick coats and soft beanies. The snow crunches under your feet and the air was cold enough to show your breath in white clouds. You and him had walked quite far from the estate already. In the close distance you can already see the frozen over lake. It was so utterly perfect, that in moments where you noticed that you hadn’t let any thoughts plague your mind, you had to make sure that you weren’t already fast asleep. But you weren’t. This was finally your reality again and nothing can take it from you again.

“I’m so excited to see the lake”, you tell him.

“Don’t tell me that you spent so much time here and you have never seen the lake”, Taehyung gasps.

You shake your head.

“I wasn’t really allowed to leave the estate.”

“Well, that is just terrible”, there was the first indicator of anger in his voice.

You round him, getting in front of him. His waist fits perfectly between your fingers, his eyes run over your face instantly.

“Don’t be angry. I’m glad I didn’t see it yet, I wanted to share this first with you.”

The anger vanishes from his face, a smile tugs at the corner of his pretty lips.

“How can I be angry when you tell me such sweet things?”

You give him a cute grin then claim your spot next to him again, hugging his arm and resting your cheek against it. The snow begins crunching again as you continue your journey through the winter landscape. It may not be morning anymore, but the air still smelled like it. Taehyung’s favourite scent. A crisp winter’s morning after the snow had freshly fallen. It mixed with the scent of him and the distinct smell of pine trees.

It smelled different once you reached the lake. Taehyung was still in the smell, the pine trees as well, just as the cold and the snow, but there was something else. You can’t quite describe the smell, but you know that it made breathing easier and for your cheeks to feel colder. It wasn’t a bad type of cold, but the type of cold that makes you want to cup your face once inside so you can get just one last memory of the long walk you took. You love that type of cold, it slows down your thoughts and heals your lungs and today it heals your heart as well because you can experience that cold with Taehyung.

He sighs beside you, gazing at the frozen lake with sparkling eyes.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” he asks you.

“Yes it is”, you agree, staring at his face.

And then you finally take your first look at the lake. It wasn’t the smallest, but it wasn’t the biggest either. It was perfect for its location. You can see the trees on the other side, they look black against the white snow, seeming so out of place now that it was unclear where the water ends and where the land begins.

“The trees look like dots of ink”, you tell Taehyung.

“Oh yes, they do.”

There were willow trees on the lakeside you were standing by. Their leaves have fallen, the whitest snow has taken their place. Every now and then, the softest of breezes made the fragile branches dance and for some of the snow to blow away. It was a calming view and the quaintest of rustling accompanied it.

“Were you ever on the other side of the lake?”

“Oh yes, I was. I walked to this family of trees on many occasions. They are perfect to paint under as they shield the sun for hours”, he explains, pointing at them.

They seem to be conifer trees. You can’t quite make out which kind. But they were tall and looked old and you are sure they smelled amazing as well.

“I see. That sounds nice.”

High conifer trees framed the east side of the lake. You know them to be the owner of the sweet conifer tree smell. The west side of the lake was framed by high reeds. Only a few were currently still standing while the rest of them gave up under the weight of the snow. You also know that one won’t be able to walk there once the ground thaws again, which means Taehyung must have walked to the other side through the tense conifer forest.

“I’m really looking forward to see it during warmer months. It must be so beautiful.”

“Oh yes, it is. You can swim here in the warmer months, the water is perfectly clear and very refreshing. You know, I spent many days here. Jimin and I always made bets about who could reach the other side first and the winner would always get treated to delicious food by the loser. I am really looking forward to….” Taehyung falls silent, clutching his chest.

“Taehyung?” you ask him.

“I can’t do this with him anymore, can I?”

“Oh my love…”

Taehyung forces himself to smile, but his eyes fill with tears.

“I always hated the competition because Jimin always cheated and often times I ended up calling him names”, he says and laughs just so he couldn’t sob, “I wouldn’t do this now. If he wanted to make a bet right this moment, I would jump into this icy lake and swim and I would let him win”, he hits his own chest, “I would let him win and when he would begin boasting about how much faster he was, I would hug him and never let him go again.”

Taehyung whimpers into his own hand, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I should have hugged him much more often.”

“Oh Tae”, you whisper, caressing his back.

“Maybe if I hugged him more, he would have never fallen that deeply into Namjoon’s grasp.”

Taehyung sobs and it breaks you.

“My sweetest, oh god, Tae”, you croak, hugging him tightly.

He sobs for quite some time and he knows that it won’t feel easier once the tears stop. So he forces them to stop. He forces them down because it wasn’t time yet for him to cry. He needed to talk. He needed to share the legacy of his friend with the world. He has to do this before letting the tears take over. This is what he owes Jimin. His story. He may have failed at saving his life, but Taehyung will be damned to let the world forget about him.

So he swallows heavily and reaches inside his coat. You watch him with halted breath. Taehyung pulls a small bronze sculpture free. It is just a little bit bigger than his hand and showed a ballet dancer. The body and face resembled Jimin, but you don’t dare to tell Taehyung that. You don’t want to break his heart even more. So you look at it and stay silent, waiting for him to speak.

“I wanted to give this to him on Christmas. It’s supposed to be him”, he whispers.

So you were right.

“Oh Tae. This is really beautiful”, you answer him quietly.

“Thank you”, his voice quivered in tears as he spoke. He brushes his finger over Jimin’s face once and then presses it against his chest, “I wanted you and him to be friends”, he confesses and sobs.

“Sweetheart, this is…”

“When he was still….here”, he whimpers, squeezing the statue closer, “….I spent many nights imagining all the adventures the three of us could go on together. He would have liked you, because you are the loveliest person on this earth and, and you would have liked him too, because he always told the silliest of jokes. But now we will never get to go on any of those adventures.”

“I’m sorry Taehyung”, you whisper because you didn’t know what else to say. A friendship with Jimin seems so unreachable to you, but maybe Taehyung was right. Maybe you could have liked him if only you had more time.

You follow him as he walks to the willow tree. He takes a look at the sky, inhaling deeply while tears stream down his icy cheeks. Then he looks at the ground and exhales. He kneels down, despite the snow covering his pants, and places the sculpture under the tree. He strokes his fingers over Jimin's face as he pulls his hand away. He doesn’t quite find it in himself to stand up yet, staring at his friend’s face with teary eyes.

So you place your hand on his shoulder, hoping that it can give him enough strength to get through this.

“He had so much good inside of him”, he whispers, “it was just hidden under layers and layers of fear and guilt.”

“Really? You think that he was capable of that emotion?”

Taehyung looks at you in a mixture of annoyance and sadness.

“He must have been. Even I felt a hint of guilt in my heart when I had my humanity off.”

“That is because you were a decent person even back then.”

He shakes his head, “no, I really wasn’t.”

He turns away and traces Jimin’s bronze face. You stay quiet, touching his back to let him know that he wasn’t alone. You haven’t been silent for long when Taehyung speaks again.

“Perhaps you are right”, he says, “perhaps Jimin really didn’t know guilt and perhaps all the good I saw in him was nothing but my wishful thinking. Perhaps-“

He sighs.

“-perhaps I simply wanted it to be true, because I wanted to save him”, he confesses quietly.

“Mhm."

Taehyung doesn’t seem to stop any time soon. As if he finally wanted to say all the things, he had to share with solitude for too long, to another person. And you didn’t want to interrupt him by talking too much.

“But I don’t think that he was an evil person”, he whispers, “wicked perhaps and most definitely violent, but he wasn’t evil.”

“What makes you think that? Didn’t he do terrible things to you?”

“Oh indeed he did”, Taehyung agrees, nodding his head, “but…” he sighs, “…perhaps he had no choice but to.”

“What do you mean?”

“You saw how Kim Namjoon treated me. How he hurt me and controlled my mind. What if…” he looks at you, “what if Jimin was manipulated as well?”

“Do you really think so?”

He nods.

“In the nineteenth century I lived in France for a few decades. I spent many years on a cheese farm, learning all about the craft.”

It confuses you for a second. You are staring at him, asking yourself what this had to do with anything. But you won’t ask him. Taehyung must have his reasons for telling you this story.

“Really? Gosh you must have looked so cute as a farmer”, you say, squatting down beside him.

He shakes his head.

“I must disappoint you, it was quite the grubby job. I didn’t smell that marvellous either. But I loved the simplicity of life. I had a routine each day and tasks to fulfil and at night I could watch the moon from my room. I was really happy back then, even if I didn’t have my emotions on”, he gnaws on his lower lip and sighs. He averts his gaze to nothing in particular. Silence. His eyes race from left to right as if he was reliving a memory. He laughs breathlessly, just once. Then he speaks again.

“Jimin was really happy too. He laughed a lot back then and somehow all the cats seemed to love him dearly. He was always seen petting one or the other”, Taehyung smiles sadly at the memory, touching his aching chest. It doesn’t lessen the pain, it just makes him aware that it will always be there.

“One night, Namjoon visited the farm because he was in the country and wanted to see his old friends. He left the next day without an explanation and all of a sudden, Jimin didn’t approve of my appreciation for the simple life. He killed everyone on the farm that morning and broke both of my arms as punishment for being too human.”

A shiver runs down your spine. You hadn’t expected such a turn of events.

“Good god, this is terrible.”

“Oh yes, indeed it really is”, he agrees and yet as he exhales and later inhales you can hear the sadness in that sigh. You touch his spine, tracing it with your fingertips.

“I hated him for what he did and never understood why he did it. But I think I finally do. All those times Jimin hurt me and insulted me or took away the things which made me happy, he was just acting as Namjoon’s little puppet.”

“This is terrible.”

Taehyung whimpers as if a new memory was plaguing his mind. He hides his trembling lips behind his hand and squeezes his eyes shut. So you hug him and hope that you can lessen the burden of whatever was tormenting him.

“When he was, was…was”, he doesn’t get to finish the sentence, but you know what he wants to say. When he was dying. “…he showed fear. ___, Jimin was scared. In my four hundred years of knowing him, I have never seen him scared before and yet in this moment I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice”, his eyes are widened in emotion, “he told me that he was scared of dying a-and that he was sorry for hurting me.”

“What? Are you serious?”

Taehyung nods and reaches inside his coat to get something. After a second of rummaging he has found what he had been looking for. With held breath he stretches his arm out and opens his palm.

“My ring?” you gasp and take it to slip it on, “but Jimin took it from me. How did you find it?”

“He handed it to me on the night of the battle. He told me that it was mine and that I should have it.”

“He did?”

Taehyung nods his head.

“I don’t understand. Why would he give it away?”

“I have raked my mind for an answer countless nights and yet I wasn’t able to find one. Perhaps he had wanted to test my loyalty to him”, he looks out at the snowfall, “these days I like to believe that it were his emotions shining through”, he smiles sadly, “although I do not know if this lessens the heartache.”

You hold his hand and draw closer to him.

“Taehyung I’m so sorry”, you whisper, resting your cheek against his arm.

Taehyung sobs painfully.

“Oh Tae”, you hug him tightly.

“What if we could have saved him? What if Namjoon was the one responsible for Jimin's cruelty? What if Jimin killed all those people on the farm because Namjoon told him to do so? What if he hunted you because he feared that if he didn’t, Namjoon would hurt him? What if he was as much of a victim of Kim Namjoon's cruelty as I was?”

He sobs loudly, thanking your arms around him because without them he would have already broken into a million pieces.

“I keep asking myself those questions”, he confesses shakily.

You turn your head, looking up at him. Taehyung is looking down at you, eyes filled with incredible sadness. He closes them, resting his forehead against yours. You cup his cheeks, caressing them soothingly. It hurts to see him like this and you hope that this simple touch can comfort him a little. Taehyung settles further into your embrace, burying his nose in your hair for just a moment to get a glimpse of your smell. He has never told you before, but your scent calms him like nothing else in this world.

“Jimin loved once”, he whispers, “he told me that she was the most beautiful woman who ever graced the earth.”

“He did? What happened?”

“He killed her. She was the first person he killed after being cursed with vampirism.”

“Oh…damn, that must have been terrible”, you murmur.

Taehyung stands up and turns back to the lake and you keep close to him, hugging his arm.

“Jimin didn’t quite say. He didn’t have his emotions on as he told me about her, but his voice carried a certain sadness to it”, he looks at you, “also he told me that he decided to turn off his humanity that night, so I assume that yes it was quite terrible.”

He lowers his eyes and inhales shakily.

“It was Namjoon, who tempted him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Jimin was of royal blood. When he was still human, he ruled over a country, which has long vanished these days. He loved his people and in return his people loved him.”

“Really?”

“Yes, he was known for his kind heart and beautiful singing voice”, Taehyung chuckles sadly at the second fact, eyes lowering. He is so close to crying again, if you weren’t holding him right now, he would have already broken.

“What happened? Did vampirism turn him mad?”

“Of course it did.”

“Did Namjoon turn him?”

“Yes”, Taehyung takes a deep breath, “war soon reigned over his kingdom. Food became sparse and his people were outnumbered. Jimin was desperate until one night he heard a rumour.”

“What rumour?”

“Of a demon living in the mountains. It was said that the demon was powerful and could grant one's every wish, even the ones which seemed impossible. So Jimin kissed his sweetheart goodbye and went on a journey to the mountains to find the demon and beg him for victory in battle.”

“The demon was Kim Namjoon wasn’t it?”

“Yes”, Taehyung clenches his jaw, “he manipulated Jimin into drinking his blood, promising him inhuman strength and victory over his enemies”, Taehyung balls his hands into fists, “they were nothing but empty promises. Kim Namjoon was bored and merely wanted a new puppet to play with. Once Jimin drank his blood, Namjoon broke his neck. And so Jimin was cursed to become the monster he so hated to be.”

“This is awful”, you murmur, having spoken nothing but the truth.

"And that is why…" he pauses, hitting his own chest with his fist repeatedly as his eyes raced from side to side, "...that is why….why…" he whimpers and lowers his head. He stops hitting his chest, twisting the fabric of his coat instead.

“I know I am the only person, who saw his potential for redemption, but Jimin deserved a chance at a happy ending", he whispers, pressing out a painful sob, “one of the last things he said to me was do you think I’ll find peace a-and I couldn’t even tell him that – that I, I hope he will. I couldn’t even tell my best friend that I wish him nothing but peace”, he sobs.

You hug him closer, kissing his upper arm.

“I feel so awful”, you confess, “you are right, Jimin deserved a happy ending.”

“No, don’t”, he pulls his arm free, “pretend to feel sorry for my sake. I can’t stand lies.”

“I wasn’t lying. I am genuinely sorry.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes, I do”, you say and nod your head, “you know, in the times we were separated and you believed me to be dead I met Jimin. He wanted to save you and asked for my help. Jimin really cared for you and I believe that if someone cares for another person so much that they would literally do everything to save them, they deserve redemption. And I am sorry that I didn’t run faster and save him too.”

You know that Taehyung is listening to your heartbeat. You know that he knows that what you were saying was nothing but the truth. He exhales shakily, lowering his head.

“You are the first person to tell me this, I appreciate it with my entire heart.”

“Don’t mention it”, you say and close the distance between you and him. You drape an arm around him, “I meant it, when I told you that I will cry with you, I meant it.”

“Thank you so much, my sweetest ___”, he whispers and lets his head rest against yours.

“Don’t thank me Tae”, you answer him and allow your eyes to flutter closed.

The silence you share with him is healing. Taehyung doesn’t feel so terribly broken inside anymore. He had wanted to tell his best friend's story countless times and yet he never could, always meeting distaste and lack of empathy. Now that he finally has someone to share his best friend's true legacy with, he feels like a part of himself, he thought could never heal, is finally starting to heal.

“I know that my words can’t bring much comfort”, you break the silence, “but I am sure Jimin is currently smiling from wherever he is watching you. And that he is happy that you are free of Namjoon."

“Do you think so?”

“Yes, also I’m sure he found peace, now that he is free of those awful urges and of Namjoon’s terrible compulsion, maybe he even reunited with his sweetheart.”

Taehyung laughs, although it sounds more of a sob than a laugh and when you open your eyes to check if he was crying, tears are rolling down his cheek. You cup his cheeks in an instant, drying his tears with soothing touches.

“Jimin would love this so much”, he sniffles, melting in your hands.

“Yes? Then they are probably cuddling each other really tightly as we are speaking”, you say before you decide to pull Taehyung closer to you to cuddle.

He looks at you, wearing warmth on his features. Oh, how you had missed this sight.

“I really hope he is”, he whispers, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand, “thank you so much, I know that Jimin caused you great pain and that you despised him. So I am beyond grateful that you allowed me to talk about him.”

“No need to thank me, I am always happy to listen to you”, you assure him, painting adoration onto his features.

“So am I”, he promises you, pausing for just a moment to seal it with a chaste kiss.

You stay another hour by the lake. Taehyung told you another story about his best friend and sobbed in your arms. And you promised Taehyung to help him with making a proper grave for Jimin once the weather was warmer again.

You walked back in silence because you knew that Taehyung needed it.

That silence gets broken once you are inside.

You and him have barely finished slipping off your outdoor clothes when Jungkook runs to you and him.

“___!”

You heard it. Taehyung heard it.

“___! There you are! ___!”

He sounds out of breath and in distress. Jungkook stumbles to you, almost falling to the ground if Taehyung hadn’t caught him before that.

“___!” he blurts out, big eyes staring at you.

“What is it, Kook?” you ask.

Jungkook needs a moment to catch his breath, panting with his hands resting on his knees.

“He-“

Panting interrupts him, he is coughing.

“What happened, Jungkook? Who are you talking about?”

“They are all dead.”

“What?”

“They are all dead. He killed them. Every single one of them.”

“Who? Jungkook, who?”

“Yoongi!” Jungkook raises his head, “the prisoners are all dead. He killed them all.”

“What is this insanity you are speaking of?” Taehyung asks.

“They are dead, you guys. I was on my way to the kitchen when I noticed that the door to the cellar was open. At first I thought you must be down there again, visiting Taehyung until I remembered that he was supposed to leave prison already.”

Jungkook swallows and brushes his damp hair out of his face.

“So I went downstairs, thinking to myself that maybe Yoongi is cleaning the cells or something.”

Jungkook exhales shakily.

“They were all dead when I reached them. Hearts ripped out, all of them.”

“Oh god, no”, you gasp, stumbling.

Taehyung supports you, pulling you closer to his body.

“Jungkook, where is he now?” he asks the younger vampire.

Jungkook studies Taehyung for a moment before he shakes his head.

“Tell us”, Taehyung stresses but Jungkook shakes his head.

“I can’t, because I have no fucking clue where he is.”

“What?”

“That’s the problem here, the prisoners were dead but Yoongi was nowhere to be found.”

“Jungkook, what are you saying?”

“He is gone ___!” he says, voice raised in emotion, “gone.”

“No”, you shake your head, “not again. I-I’m sure he is in his wing. Or out hunting. He can’t be gone again.”

Taehyung grabs your hand then, “let’s find out. Come now guys, let’s find our friend.”

You search every corner of the estate first, calling out his name over and over again until your voices ached in strain. Taehyung searched the forest in the meantime, as he was the oldest he was also the quickest. It made only sense that he would be the one haunting the estaste’s gardens until he found the one ghost always wanting to escape.

You and Jungkook meet first, almost colliding with each other in the kitchen.

“Fuck! Kook! Don’t sneak up on me like that”, you gasp, holding onto his arms for support.

“I can’t help it. I’m sneaking even if I don’t want to sneak”, he defends himself, pulling you back to your feet.

“Have you had any luck?” you ask him then.

“No”, he shakes his head, “I’ve looked everywhere. He is gone.”

“His wing then, it’s the only place he could still be.”

“Or the forest. ___ was it the cleverest idea for Taehyung to look for him? I heard how they were fighting over you.”

“Jungkook…don’t-“, you shiver in fear, “-say something like this.”

“It’s the truth. What if you put too much trust in Taehyung? He could easily get rid of him and tell us that he couldn’t find him.”

“Stop!” you spit, “I won’t hear such nonsense. Taehyung cares for Yoongi just as much as we care for him! He will find him and if he does, he will make sure that he will return home safely.”

“But what if-“

Cold air twirls around your legs. You and Jungkook turn. Taehyung is standing in the doorway, body covered in snow.

“I couldn’t find him”, he says quietly.

“Have you looked everywhere?” you ask, closing the distance between you and him to wrap him up in your arms.

Taehyung gives you a soft hug, allowing you to pet his hair.

“Yes, I ran from east to west and south to north and then back again. He was nowhere to be found.”

“I swear to god if you did something to him”, Jungkook growls, stepping closer.

“Jungkook!”

“What?” Taehyung gasps, “you think me capable of hurting my friend?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time you hurt someone.”

“Jungkook!”

“No, my sweetest it is alright”, Taehyung assures you.

He steps closer to Jungkook, placing his hand on the latter’s shoulder. Jungkook shakes him off, doing so with a quiet grunt of disapproval.

“I have known Min Yoongi for more than three centuries and while we were fighting over the silliest of things most of the time, he is one of my dearest friend. And while he was bad tempered and perhaps a little rude most of the time, Min Yoongi's heart has always been made of kindness. I would never dare to hurt him.”

Jungkook scoffs and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Well, where is he then?” he challenges.

“Have you looked in his wing?”

“No, we were waiting for you to come back.”

“Then let’s look for him", Taehyung says and grabs your hand.

You run down the corridors, calling out Yoongi's name. Only the silence of the night greets you. Jungkook checks Yoongi's bedroom, you can hear his panicky voice bounce off the walls.

“He is really frightened isn’t he? I can smell it”, Taehyung says, hurrying through Yoongi's music room with you.

“Yoongi promised to train him so Jungkook could control his urges.”

“And now he is frightened that he may never come back?”

“Yes”, you answer him.

"I can help him too, you know? I had to struggle with my urges as well once, for many decades actually."

You send him a smile, "I'm sure he will appreciate your help", you say and grab his hand, “come on now, he isn’t here.”

Taehyung follows you down the hallway. You meet Jungkook in the middle. He looks even more distressed than before.

“Nothing?” he asks.

“Nothing.”

“Fuck”, Jungkook presses out, hands shaking by his side, “___ I don’t wanna do this again. First Seokjin and Hoseok leave and now Yoongi is gone too.”

You hold his hand, squeezing it tightly, “we are still here.”

“No, you are gonna leave too.”

“We won’t”, you promise him, “and neither did Yoongi. I am sure he is in his office. Come now, let’s get him.”

The door opens. Darkness greets you. Darkness and loneliness. The lights flicker on.

The three of you take a step closer to Yoongi's desk.

“Letters?” Taehyung asks.

Three of them were sitting on the table.

“That one has your name on it”, Jungkook says, looking at Taehyung.

Taehyung picks it up and opens it.

“And that one has my name on it!” Jungkook gasps, reaching for his letter with shaking fingers. You can hear him open it beside you and start reading.

You however are mesmerised by the only letter left on the table.

It carried your name.

You reach for it with held breath, heart feeling numb in your chest. You twist and turn it twice before you finally decide to open it.

Hello my princess,

it seems that you have found my letter, which means you have also realised that I am gone.

It makes me laugh, thinking about how you will call me a coward, a traitor, perhaps even a selfish prick. You did really love that name, didn’t you?

There were days where I really hated that name and the anger you felt for me. Right now I would love to experience it one more time just so I could get one last glimpse of you.

And it also makes me cry, because I know.

I know that you are right. With everything.

I am selfish.

I kept you close to me, gave you excuses of the world being too dangerous for you, wanted to control you and told you that I was only doing this to keep you safe. And I made sure that a part of you would always need to depend on me.

I wanted to be close to you, because honest speaking, you were the only happiness I felt in this godforsaken world.

But instead of telling you how I felt and giving you the choice to be by my side willingly, I controlled you.

You don’t have to believe me, but I am truly sorry.

I am so sorry, princess.

You can be sure of one thing however, I always wanted what was best for you.

And that is why you are reading this letter instead of hearing those words from me, because if I talked to you right now, I would selfishly throw you over my shoulder and run until the world ends and I shouldn’t do this to you.

All my life I tried not to feel anything, to not care about anything because if I did, I would have something to lose, something to be afraid of. And right now, as I am sitting here and writing this cowardly letter, all I’m afraid of is losing you.

I am so scared and I want to stay with you. I want to watch you smile and hear you laugh, smell your sweet scent, taste your kiss and feel your touch, but I can’t anymore.

Not anymore.

Kim Namjoon is still out there, hurting people. I have to stop him. I saved him from certain death and I will regret doing so until I draw my last breath. If I hadn’t, the world would most definitely be a better place. All the suffering and pain my stupid decision caused. I can’t keep closing my eyes to the truth. I can’t keep running away from my mistakes.

Instead I will chase them down. I promise you this. I will not rest until I have found Kim Namjoon and ended all the suffering he caused, even if this will take me my entire lifetime to achieve.

I spent my entire vampire life hating myself. And I am not telling you this because I want to gain your sympathy. This is simply yet another cowardly attempt to prolong the truth I actually want to tell you. I am coward enough to need five sentences of unnecessary rambling to finally get to the point. You can skip this part if you want to, I wouldn’t even blame you if you did.

You asked me once if I have ever truly looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn’t answer you because the truth is, I despise every image of myself. Be it a painting, a photograph or the fleeting image of a reflection. When I look at myself, all I see is the reason why so many people are suffering.

And you made me better at it. That time after our morning together I looked at myself in the mirror and for just a second I didn’t hate what I saw.

But I realised by now that this was nothing but a dream, an illusion I created in my head, because the reality is that I will always be the vessel for pain and suffering.

Goddamn, I fed you my blood. I did the one thing I never wanted to do to you. Not to you, you were never supposed to have my blood. I’m not beautiful, I’m a monster and you were right to be scared of me.

And I’m so sorry. This is what I truly want to tell you. I am so incredibly sorry. Please, if you can't forgive me for anything else, please forgive me for doing this horrible, awful thing to you. I know I am asking a lot of you and I’m sorry that I do.

And now I have reached a point in my letter, where I have said everything I have wanted to tell you and yet I can’t bring myself to end it. So I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, wondering how I should end it.

How do I end something like this, when deep down in my heart I want to rip it to shreds and run to you instead? How do I end something so beautiful? How do I end the only goddamn happiness I have in my miserable life?

Well, perhaps I should end it with thank you.

You asked me once what my favourite scent was and I answered you that only an idiot has a favourite scent. And for the longest time I believed this to be true.

I guess I became an idiot because these days there is nothing sweeter to me than the scent of your happiness. So in a sense, you are my favourite scent. I realised that much about myself.

Truly, I feel like laughing at myself for writing such silly stuff, but I just had to tell you so you would always know.

I guess that is what I am doing here. I am telling you all the things I was too cowardly to say to your face. I am telling you because I hope that you will finally get to know me.

You know, I hated nothing more than people knowing me. Being known meant having power over them. The power to break them when I had to abandon them. And for the longest time I hated nothing more than your questions about my person. You wanted to know me and it scared me immensely.

I liked to be cold to people because it meant that eventually they would give up trying. Who would continue wanting to know someone as sick and twisted as me? Every sane person would give up eventually and I didn’t blame them. Quite honestly I expected it. Perhaps I even hoped they would.

But you didn’t give up on me. In your stubbornness, you didn’t give up and showed me sides of myself even I had forgotten about. You showed me that I can be kind and that I can be gentle and that I have silly things like a favourite scent or a favourite sound or a favourite type of silence. And I am so glad you didn’t give up on getting to know me because I don’t feel so cold anymore now that someone truly knows me.

So thank you princess for being persistent and for wanting to know me.

Thank you princess for helping me know myself better.

And thank you princess for making me realise that being human isn’t about being sad or in pain.

It is about the little things.

Helping them and watching how it lights up their face.

Sharing a joke and basking in laughter together.

Feeling their touch on your skin and realising that your pain isn’t as bad for as long as they are with you.

Listening to them talk about their passions, even if you can’t quite get them but you do so regardless because their happiness makes you happy as well.

You know. I always and truly loved listening to you when you told me all about your plants. I really did.

And most of all, thank you princess for giving me a glimpse of what happiness feels like. And also for saving me from a life of endless loneliness. I will never forget it. Just as I will never forget you.

Perhaps one day we will see each other again. Perhaps we won’t.

Just promise me to be happy regardless.

Your old grumps,

Yoongi Boongie

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anastasiaskarsgard · 5 years

Note

Can you do another part to touched about how his family would react to him having interest in a girl?

Megan thought about her kiss with Simon all week. She’d even catch herself grinning, absentmindedly touching herb lips. He was just so gorgeous, and tall, and took a real interest in what she said, like he was hanging on every word. He was a bit odd and she couldn't remember what he said he had, but it wasn't contagious she was pretty sure.

It wasn't everyday a guy that looks like a supermodel takes notice. Shes a nice looking girl, but a bit plain and low profile by choice. She preferred to blend, not stand out, but that also meant that people that do stand out (like Simon) didn’t notice her.

She really hoped he’d come in today like he did everyweek. Her Dad had told her not to get her hopes up, and that dating him would be a challenge, but he wanted her to stay a little girl forever, so she took his warnings lightly. She wasn't needed, since her Dad was better, but she wanted to at least hang out a bit and give Simon a chance to find her. Her dad gave her some work to do to pass the time and not look like she was waiting on him.

next thing she knew Simon was there and he had two people with him. One guy and one girl and they appeared to be a couple. Simon, was showing them various displays, and she felt very nervous all of a sudden. Her thoughts started to run wild with questions like ”what if he just ignores me?” or ”what if they don't think I'm pretty enough?”

She returned her attention to her work, although She couldn't really get anything done, because she was so preoccupied with her uncharacteristic insecure thoughts.

”Megan?” Simon asked shyly.

She spun around in her chair, standing up, and skipped over to Simon and waved hello. He awkwardly waved as well and then looked down at the floor. She wasn’t shy at all, but found his shyness adorable.

“Don’t be nervous Simon, I’m so happy to see you. Are you nervous?”

His beautiful green eyes flashed up to her and locked on to hers. He blushed and nodded.

”well that makes two of us. I was starting to think you were just going to ignore me,” she confessed.

”i could never ignore you.” he said matter of factly, looking at her like she might me crazy. He huffed his breath, causing his bangs to flutter.

She couldn’t help but be a giggly mess. She was trying to play it cool, but that was never one of her strong suits around someone she liked. She knew she was ridiculous to think it, but she couldn’t help but to think he was out of her league as well.

Simon truly was beautiful. He was at least 6’3” with a slim build, but built solidly, with broad shoulders and large hands. As impressive as his body was, it was his face that took her breath away. The first thing she noticed was his large quizzical green eyes that were very expressive. She could see what he was thinking and he had this openness about him that made her feel like he’d never lie to her. She had a thing for cute button noses on men, and if she didn’t know better, she’d swear he bought his from a doctor along with his full rosy lips. The more she considered his face, the more it became clear that he was literally gorgeous. His cheekbones were set high, and his chin was strong with a masculine dimple, and although he didn’t smile often, she’d seen a flash of dimples when he had. His teeth were perfect and most Boys their age had at least a couple skin blemishes, but Simon had none. He dressed really colorful too, which was refreshing since most guys wore dark colors.

“You could be a model,” she blurted out.

Simon looked at her strangely and then turned around to look for she assumed his friends, but then he tuned back to her.

“Do you eat pizza? It’s Friday and I would like if you came and ate pizza with us. Are you hungry?”

“I am almost starving now that you mention it.” She answered, staring at him patiently.

“Do you want to go eat with me and Sam and Jennifer?”

“I’d love to! That’s your friend Sam?”

“That’s my brother and he is my friend too. So yes. Jennifer is my friend too. I found her for him when his girlfriend left and ruined our equation.”

“Equation?” She giggled.

“The equation to make living together work. He needed a girl that balanced us out or it’d never work, but I found him Jennifer after Frida went crazy over no toilet paper.”

“I’m sure that’s a fun story.” She quipped.

Just then Sam and Jennifer came over and introduced themselves. Megan greeted them warmly, and found Jennifer to be bubbly and delightful. Jennifer asked Simon to go with her to help her understand something.

“She’s starving, we need to get her food.” He said seriously.

“I can wait a few more minutes, go ahead.” Megan responded. She could tell that Sam wanted to speak to her without Simon hearing, and Jennifer was the distraction.

Simon reluctantly agreed and folllowed Jennifer to the other side of the room, out of ear shot.

“So...” Sam started. “You like my brother?”

“I do. He’s very nice and sweet and handsome, what’s not to like?”

“And he kissed you last week? Two times and touched your face and arm?”

Megan blushed hard looking away, “Wow, you guys are very open with each other but yes.”

“He’s literally never done that and hates to be touched. Do you know what Aspegars is?”

“Not really. My dad mentioned he doesn’t like touching, he’s a bit socially awkward and he is incredibly intelligent.”

“A bit.” Sam laughed rolling his eyes. “It’s more than a bit.”

“Well I’m super comfortable in social settings in general, although I admittedly get anxiety over situations like Simon, not only because I like him, but I don’t want to do something wrong, or hurt him. I’m an empath. I think I make him pretty comfortable, and have an idea of what I’m getting into maybe.”

“I don’t know that you do. Simon is very particular. He does everything by a set schedule. This is the most he’s gone off his schedule in a year. He’s obsessed with circles, he normally never allows anyone to touch him. I mean even if me or my parents touch him, he may strike us. He has tantrums, he has to turn a light on and off 3 times, and he takes everything literally. Sarcasm escapes him and you have to mean what you say or he’ll think you’re lying. He’s also obsessed with space, and up until now, he’s shown no interest in the opposite sex. He actually has an aversion to emotional songs or movies. When he told me he had kissed the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, frankly I couldn’t even grasp it. I half didn’t think you were real. He’s been hyper focused on you, so that’s another thing I need to warn you about. For lack of a better word, you’re his interest now, and he doesn’t half ass interests. He goes 100%. Are you getting all this? you look a little lost. Is it too much?”

“No please continue! I wish everyone I ever kissed came with this type of introduction and tips from their brother. I’m all ears!” She smiled at him encouragingly.

“Ok. When he gets very upset, he has a hard time coping and needs to do something to calm himself. He often likes to hide in a large can we have at home, until I can talk him out. If I’m able to stop him from going in there, he may twirl a hoop on his arm, or clean something. There have been many times where he has physically lashed out, for instance if someone touches him he’ll push them away or slap them. If God forbid someone tries to embrace him it’s really bad. Now I don’t know at all how that’s going to translate into a relationship, just be cautious or ask. Don’t surprise him.”

“Is that all?” She scoffed, sitting back down to soak in all the new info he just dumped on her.

“He’s not all bad. He is active and although he’s very blunt and has no filter, you know he’s never lying to you. If you want to come up with an excuse to back out, I understand and will back you up.” Sam said sympathetically.

Megan looked over at Simon who was explaining something to Jennifer, having what appeared to be, a normal interaction. He looked so assertive and passionate about whatever he was telling her, and then he glanced over and their eyes met. She couldn’t help but smile, and he smiled in return, waving his hand at her. She glanced over to Jennifer who’s mouth was hanging open and looked completely stunned. As Megan watched Simon make his way back over to them, she knew she should be apprehensive and this was not going to be easy or typical, but that was okay. She couldn’t help but think that maybe because she was his opposite, (being so empathetic and socially intuitive), that she could possibly balance their own equation. She had a maternal streak, and found the thought of being needed an attractive trait in a partner. She also was a bit insecure, and the fact this drop dead gorgeous guy that every girl in the room took notice of, only ever wanted to touch her, and will literally slap other bitches that try to touch him! That was almost as attractive as his face. Yes. She was definitely interested in Simon.

“Sam, I’m glad you told me those things, but I still want to see where this goes. I’ll be respectful, and I’ll research Aspegars to get more familiar, but I find a lot of the perceived negative traits about him, incredibly comforting and endearing. ” She said.

Sam was completely taken aback by her response, and after regaining his composure after a tick, smiled and felt a great relief. He had been mentally preparing how to deal with Simon after the girl ran for the hills when she was fully aware of the situation, but here she was. He felt he had done his part, and although he’d continue to be supportive, and inform Simon about aspects of a relationship that aren’t obvious, he had to step back and let nature take its course. Thank God condoms are circles he thought to himself.

“Ready to go eat everyone?” Sam asked. “You lead the way Simon.”

Simon hesitated, concentration painted on his face, before looking at Megan confidently. He reached out his hand to her, and she cautiously took it, allowing him to guide her.

Sam and Jennifer both had to suppress their utter shock, but were absolutely thrilled that everything was going so well.

Megan had a wonderful time with Simon, making sure not to touch him suddenly, and careful of how she worded things.

Megan heard the now familiar beep of Simons watch, letting them know they were onto the next activity, or point in the schedule.

“What does that beep mean?” She asked gazing up at Simon.

Simon was distracted by her eyes and how they appeared brown, but when he stood closer and really looked they were the darkest shade of green. His color green is uncommon, but he couldn’t remember ever seeing someone with her color. He knew the science behind eye color and hers didn’t make a lot of sense but here it was; Looking up at him.

“That beep was time to leave in the next 5 minutes. “ he stated.

“Oh,” she sighed. “Well I understand. Time prevents chaos, but I’d really love to see you again. Can I have your number or you take mine?”

Simon was very perplexed. He knew it was time to go, but he didn’t want to go and he didn’t care if they were off schedule. He did know that was a crazy way to think. Time was one of the most important aspects of his life, it kept chaos at bay! But he found his need to be near Megan outweighed his fear of chaos, and he was pretty sure he had feelings to blame for this. Normally the thought of feelings repulsed him, but not when he looked into her eyes.

“I have feelings for you.” He said abruptly, watching her reaction, pleased when her face lit up.

She smiled a big genuine smile that made Simon feel warm. “Can I give you a kiss goodbye?” She asked. “If not, then I totally get it, I just have feelings for you and— “ She rambled before being cut off by Simon wrapping his arms around her, and lowering his face to give her a passionate kiss. She gingerly wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling him tense up and freeze.

She dropped her arms and looked up at him apologetically but he relaxed a bit and grinned down at her. “It’s ok. It is nice when you touch me. Only you though.”

She lightly placed her arms around his waist again and leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes, “Yes. Only you,” she whispered.

#simplesimon #simon #bill skarsgard #bill istvan günther skarsgård #bill prompt #ask #i researched #so dont even try #neurotypical #or whatever #its possible

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theartificialdane · 5 years

Text

Andromeda, chapter 6.5 (Vitan - Cassiopeia)

Dedicated to @thankyoumissvanjie - It wasn’t what you asked for, but it’s what you’re getting, so I hope you’ll enjoy it!

“Admit I’m a good kisser.”

Violet rolled her eyes, and Sutan chuckled, placing soft butterfly kisses on her eyelids, her cheeks, her chin.

Violet turned her head slightly, Sutan catching her drift and kissing her neck, his tongue gliding over the eversmooth skin.

“You’re,” Violet grabbed Sutan’s hair, another small gasp leaving her as he bit down. “Ah - You’re passable.”

“Mmh...”

Violet moaned against his lips, and Sutan couldn’t help but smile, leaning even further into the kiss. Having a transatlantic romance was fucking terrible at the best of times, but it was hard not to appriciate the time they spent apart when it meant that he got to have Violet like this when they did see each other.

The sofa had been delivered that afternoon, Violet picking out a new coffee table and some throw pillows too. The tree of the table was much darker than Sutan had learned that Violet prefered, but it was exactly his style, their new rug, the same shade of forrest green as the couch, soft underneath his sock clad feet.

Sutan had gone to get chinese, picking up a bottle of red wine on the way home while Violet took Frida around the block, the little dog easily the most spoiled creature in the entire universe. They had eaten on their new couch, Sutan pouring the wine into teacups since Violet didn’t owe a single glass, her kitchen lacking more equipment than any college dorm Sutan had ever encountered.

“That good, huh?” Sutan pulled back, a smirk on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shut up.” Violet put her arms around his neck, pulling him down and catching his lips once again. Sutan was between her legs, their bodies slotted together, Violet’s mouth still faintly tasting of wine.

“Admit I’m a good kisser.”

Violet rolled her eyes, and Sutan chuckled, placing soft butterfly kisses on her eyelids, her cheeks, her chin.

Violet turned her head slightly, Sutan catching her drift and kissing her neck, his tongue gliding over the eversmooth skin.

“You’re,” Violet grabbed Sutan’s hair, another small gasp leaving her as he bit down. “Ah - You’re passable.”

Sutan laughed, hot and warm against Violet’s neck before he pulled back. “You’re such a fucking liar Miss Chachki.”

Violet huffed, her nose scrunching up in the most adorable way, her hand reaching up and touching his chest. “Do you have a problem with that?” Her palm slid down, touching his stomach, finding his belt, her fingers expertly tugging at it, opening it.

“No.” Sutan raised his hips, giving Violet space, kissing her again as she reached into his jeans, tugging to pull them down. “Wait.” Sutan reached into his back pocket, holding himself up with one hand. “Give me a minute.” He searched the pocket, realising with dread that they had used the last condom he had taken with him that morning before leaving the house.

“Fuck!” Sutan groaned, dumping halfway down on Violet, hiding his face in her neck.

“What?” Violet ran a hand over Sutan’s hair, tugging a little to turn his head up so she could look at him. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m out of condoms.” Sutan groaned again, knowing that he sounded pathetic. He kisses Violet’s cheek, gently nudging her face with his nose. He didn’t want to go outside, didn’t want to leave the apartment or leave Violet behind. “Can we.. Maybe?” It felt gross to ask, like he was overstepping some sort of boundary since Violet hadn’t offered it freely, but it was already dark outside, and his dick was hard.

“I’m not on the pill anymore.” Violet looked genuinely apologetic, and Sutan felt another rush of guilt.

“Of course.” Sutan shook his head, annoyed at how stupid he had been. “Your body is your temple and all that good stuff.”

Violet laugh, gently kissing his cheek. “You make me sound like Courtney.”

“Laugh all you want Chachki. You’re not the one who has to go and get them.” Sutan untangled himself, briefly mourning the loss of the hot wet heat of Violet’s cunt against his leg. Sutan bent his wrist, checking his watch. “When does the store close?”

“Sutan. Relax” Violet smiled, an appreciate glimt in her eyes as she sat up on her elbows. “I have condoms.” She pulled her leg out, sitting up on the couch.

“Oh thank fuck.” Sutan dumped back down. He was more often than not beyond thankful that his girlfriend had been an assistant, Violet always prepared for everything. “My dick was scared that it would freeze off.”

“God, you’re being so dramatic.” Violet brushed her hair over her shoulder, her blouse unbuttoned and showing off her lace bra underneath. She stood up, ass looking absolutely delicious in her skirt.

“Love to watch you walk away!”

Violet laughed, flipping him off as she walked to the bedroom, the door closing behind her not to let Frida out. Sutan shimmied out of his jeans, throwing them behind the couch, Violet quickly returning with a box of opened condoms in hand.

“Here.”

Sutan took it, his brow wrinkling as he turned it over.

“What’s wrong?” Violet sat down, an expression of worry on her face. “Is it the brand? I know you prefer Trojan-”

Sutan flipped the lid, his years of smoking cigarettes allowing him to count the remaining wrappers in seconds. More than half was missing, and he felt nauseous. “No…” Sutan took a deep breath. “No. This is fine.”

Violet bit her lip, the excited, sexy energy that had been between them just moments ago now changed completely. “You don’t feel..”

Sutan could see that she was struggling, but she soldiered on. “You don’t feel very fine.”

“Well what did you expect?” Sutan knew he had snapped, but he couldn’t help it. “That I’m fine with the fact that you have an open pack of condoms?” Sutan ran a hand through his hair. He tried, he really really tired, but this was the first time that he had been smacked so fully in the face with the fact that Violet had had a sex life while they had been apart.

“Seriously? Are you fuckin-” Violet looked at him, her eyes hard. “Urgh!” Violet grabbed her shirt, redoing the buttons with her lips pressed tightly together, annoyance and anger radiating off of her.

“Violet, shit-” Sutan turned on the couch. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No.” Violet stood up. “No you shouldn’t have Sutan Amrull.” Violet grabbed the package from his hand, crushing it between her fingers. “This?” She waved the package in front of his face. “This isn’t any of your business, okay?”

“Do you think I want to think about the people you fucked?” If he was honest, it made him slightly nauseous, the thought of so many different men touching Violet, being with his girlfriend, calming parts of her that he could never get back no matter how unfair he knew it was.

“Do you think I want to think about yours?” Violet hissed the words, and Sutan froze.

She was right. While he had mainly wallowed in selfpity and weed, he had gone through his fair share of girls, had tried to fuck the pain of their breakup away, and while he didn’t want to think about it, he couldn’t fault Violet for attempting the very same thing.

“Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad Sutan,” Violet sighed, her arms crossed over her chest, her lip crushed between her teeth. “I’m angry, but I’m not…” Violet made a sound of frustration. “What happened while we were apart, when we were broken up…” Violet sat down again, and while Sutan didn’t touch her, he couldn’t help a sigh of relief.

“I’m not going to apologize.” Violet looked at him. “You don’t owe me, I’m not, I’m not some thing you can-”

“Hey. Hey.” Sutan sat up on the couch, turning his entire body towards Violet. “That’s not what I meant, I didn’t-” It was Sutan’s turn to sigh. “Guess I’m a bit of a selfish old asshole, huh?”

Violet smiled slightly, her lip turning up. “You are pretty old.”

“Hey!” Sutan laughed, and Violet joined in, he tickled her, Violet shrieking as she tried to bat his hands away.

“Sutan! Sutan stop!”

They crashed onto the floor, Violet still laughing.

“Now I might be old.” Sutan forced his knee in between her legs, Violet giving a broken moan. “But I can still fuck you,” Sutan grabbed Violet’s wrist, throwing her hand over her head, taking the package of condoms from her fingers. “So hard, and so well.” Sutan smiled. “That you forget your own name.”

#Cassiopeia #andromeda #galactica #paris au #my fics

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emmelfish · 6 years

Text

It was remiss of me to assume that Skip would be a Nature sim – I got things completely confused and it turns out that he’s Sports, Susie’s Fitness. What a team! Yes yes, we get it, you love each other (which is a good thing because that way you’ll always have a sibling to rely on when you’ve each been dumped by all your suitors for being awful and generally hard to live with).

Speaking of love, somehow, somewhere along the line, Dirk became legit besties with Ginger Newson. This doesn’t surprise me because she’s awesome, but no romantic endgame here. If Dilith don’t work out, Gingy’s off limits due to being promised to someone else. I do like the idea of these two as buddies; sadly she’s off to Academie Le Tour while Dirk’s stuck with Dusty at SSU, but I’ll make sure they keep in touch.

I’m pretty certain that in every interaction Ginger’s had with anyone so far in my game she’s tickled the crap out of them.

Hel-lo. It’s that Veronaville tractor beam again, and heck did it deliver this time! Merc, my ultimate VV fave! How’s it hangin’, pal?

Mercutio: Oh y’know, had a few awkward threeways with Puck and Herms, figuring out our feelings, biding my time until I inevitably have angry woohoo with her brother, the usual.

Lovely!

Dirk: 🎵 Work, work, work, work, work, work You see me I be Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk

I bet Darren only picked Remedios up because I forced him to.

Beau: I wish I could pick up babies. I’d do a far better job than these jokers.

I know you would fren, I know you would. Maybe I’ll give you a Family secondary if you turn out to be good with the anklebiters. (Note to self – put those kitchen counters TOGETHER PROPERLY EM YOU BERK)

Mercutio is in the building! And he and Ginger are yet to have a negative interaction. Ginge clearly needs a Popularity secondary, everyone adores her. I don’t know what Skip Jr’s doing but he looks wonderful.

REMEDIOS APPROVES THIS MESSAGE

Frida on the other hand is Chairman of the Bored.

Ginger: OMG YOU’RE SO FUNNY I THINK I’M GONNA DIE

Mercutio: Well my entire character’s schtick is to be the tragic comic of the group.

NO! No more babies for you Darren Dreamer.

Beau Broke – moment-killer, cockblock extraordinaire.

If you two tell each other any more dirty jokes it’ll be divorce bells on the horizon, I swear. Only Dina and Mortimer get away with doing that twenty times a day and still manage to look each other in the eye.

Dirk Dirk Dirk Dirk Dirk coming home from work work work work work – and it wouldn’t be a regular day in the Broke-Dreamer household without him vomming at a PDA. Beau, you took your eye off them for a SECOND.

Beau: I was too busy watching SJ do a show-off! He’s dead good!

Skip Jr: That I am. That I am.

The moment of joy was short-lived, because judging by his face, Beau prefers to deal with Skip Jr and Susie as individuals and loathes them as a pair.

Brandi and Dirk tend to be like that episode of Friends where Ross tries to make friends with Phoebe’s Paul Rudd boyfriend but they mostly sit in uncomfortable silence trying to figure out what to talk about. Thus, I’m trying to improve their relationship by having them play a stupid game of kicky bag.

Oh for god’s sake what’s wrong now.

Beau: Susie is losing her Film & Literature enthusiasm!

It’s not even her one true hobby! Settle down Beau, she’ll probably put on Antichrist or The Human Centipede in ten minutes and all will be well again.

In far better news, Sports Lady is infinitely marryable just like Cool Tinkering Lady! These Hobby NPCs are spawning beautifully. Love that hair on her, love her outfit, love the pouty face, love that her personality will probably be a mess if she likes Sports that much.

Oh and Skip Jr gets to go to Dreamy Fields. Yey.

Ah, so it appears that Mercutio is one of those sims who never goes home autonomously.

Mercutio: Would you? You try living in Verona ‘Rivers of Blood’ ville.

End dat feud Merc. Get married to Tybalt, make sure it’s the gayest most fabulous wedding of all time, have Kent Capp officiate in Liza Minelli cosplay, and force Patrizio and Consort to come to terms with their repressed feelings for one another.

Skip Jr: He’s so cool. And Remedios is so cool.

Are you broken or just really happy about being accepted to Dreamy Fields? Good grief SJ, we haven’t seen one pinch of your grouchiness since you aged up.

Oh look!

Wow. That’s a lot of kids going to school.

Back to work Brandi! I let you have that one crappy plate because you were going into labor, but now you’re upping your game.

Is Tiny Tea Set an ironic description? That thing’s fucking huge. I mean I’d be fine with it because I really love tea.

Genuinely pausing and posting this to make myself an amazing cup of tea.

#emmelfishuberhood

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teen-titans-imagines · 6 years

Text

East of Eden pt 8

A/n: A very intense part hehehe

Comments are appreciated, and are key. Please comment. It helps with motivation and efficiency. Thank you!

—

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight [Here] / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven [Final]

—

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Drama, Action, Fluff Rated: Mature Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood and Gore, Swearing, Graphic Depictions of Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Graphic Injuries, Nightmares, PTSD, Just read with caution please

—

Author: Teen-Titans-Imagines

—

Jason’s knee was bouncing up and down as he sat in Bruce’s jet, Dick and Bruce watching him from afar. Damian and Tim were at different consoles, maintaining the controls and making sure the jet ran smoothly. Dick sighed and said quietly.

“Bruce, I’m worried.”

Bruce turned to Dick, quirking a peppered eyebrow up.

“How so?”

Dick sighed, taking his mask off and rubbing his eyes. The exhaustion in his face showed, and dark circles had begun to form from worry and lack of sleep.

“Jason didn’t really have a big part in the investigation. I know he has a thing with guilt, and I can tell that he’s scared. Are you sure it was a good idea to bring him? I know he’s (Y/n)’s father, but...I know he can be blinded by his anger. What if he tries to shoot the place up before actually trying to figure out why she’s there?”

Bruce was quiet, his eyes straying to Jason. His brow furrowed, and Bruce shook his head.

“I can’t keep him from his only child, Dick. When we were in the car, coming back from Black Mask, he said something that really stuck with me. He told me that if it was Damian in (Y/n)’s position, I would be just the same as he was.”

Bruce sighed, his shoulders dropping.

“I...I recognize that Jason is right. A fathers love for their child goes to many lengths, and only the father can understand the true pain of losing their child.”

His eyes fluttered to Jason’s form again, remembering when Jason died. Like a tape, it played in his head, and Bruce winced slightly.

“(Y/n) is his only child. She is everything he’s ever wanted. After the loss of (Mothers name), Jason vowed to be the best father he could be.”

If only he had done the same. Bruce carefully landed the jet on a clearing on the beach of Habidoh, Socotra. He whispered as Jason stood up.

“Is it wrong that I envy him?”

Dick blinked in surprise, seeming to sense the melancholic veil covering Bruce, and his hand came to rest upon the man’s shoulder. Dick replied just as quietly.

“You did your best, and that’s all we could ever ask for.”

Placing his mask back on, Dick exited the jet, following the others. Bruce, having stayed on the jet, looked at the cowl within his hand and shook his head.

“Is my best really enough when not even that saved Jason?”

-JASON’S POV-

He was growling, his blood boiling and adrenaline pumped through his veins. Jason was practically shaking from anticipation. As the group came up upon a small hotel-looking building, Damian hummed.

“They most likely don’t speak English. I’ll take it from here.”

Before Dick could scold him, Damian had already went inside. Jason muttered.

“Whatever. If he knows what he’s doing, then we gotta trust him. He’s the only one here who can remotely speak their language.”

“Does he actually know Soqotri?”

The two glanced at each other before walking inside, paling when their laid their eyes on Damian practically screaming at the men in the room. One man, calm in his demeanor, began to speak. Damian calmed, and growled, and then turned.

“They said that Hasan and (Y/n) were here, but they’ve already went to the Island. They’re going to bless us, and then we are going to go to the island.”

“You mean you threatened them to bless us, right?”

Dick asked. Damian shrugged.

“It’s an emergency.”

“It’s always an emergency to threaten someone in your eyes.”

Tim grumbled, shaking his head.

“Got something to say, Wise Ass?”

“Damian!”

-READERS POV-

Nazeem had taken you to a beautiful bathing area, the walls lined with beautiful flowers whose aromas filled the room. Followers of the temple had already began filling a bath with hot water, chanting as they did so. Nazeem murmured, his hand on your shoulder.

“Here is where the journey begins. You will bathe in this bath for an hour, allowing the water to soak into your body and your psyche. Once you are done, you will be escorted to me. Then, the journey will begin.”

You nodded and Na’ila, the woman who had bathed you before at Socotra, walked in, smiling at you. Her eyes were twinkling with mischief, but adoration as she walked to you, her arms coming around you in a loving embrace. Her lips kissed your forehead.

“I am so happy to see you, my darling.”

You blinked and caved in on yourself shyly, replying quietly.

“It’s...cool to see you too, Na’ila.”

She smiled as you spoke her name, and she turned.

“I will take it from here, Nazeem.”

Nazeem nodded, and he walked out. Na’ila turned and beamed.

“I am going to enchant the waters, and then I am going to let you soak. Then, I will come back to check up on you and then bring you to Nazeem.”

You frowned and asked.

“No offense, Na’ila, but why are you here? I thought this was a strictly male place?”

Na’ila burst out laughing, her hands on her sides as her head fell back.

“Dearest, no! Women are allowed to be here! Women just choose to not give their life to the Temple. After all, with more of us becoming more powerful than Man, why give our lives to a place the world cannot see?”

Her comment resonated within you, and your eyes widened.

“Oh...That..that makes a lot of sense.”

She smiled and began to chant, waving her hands above the waters, humming. After a moment, she pulled away, and smiled.

“Alright, (Y/n). You are ready. I will return in one hour. Have fun.”

You nodded, and she left. Taking that as your cue, you undressed and dipped yourself into the hot water, sighing in relief. The hot water seemed to immediately dig into your skin, squirming its way to your bones and soaking you in warmth and relaxations. Slowly, your body relaxed, your tense muscles loosening with every minute that went by. However, you began to notice something else.

Your vision was slightly starting to blur, and you saw double if you looked away from something too fast. The aromas of the flowers in the room were stronger than before, seeming to fill your lungs, and you began to hear whispering. Soothing and loving, the whispers filled you with confidence and encouragement, even though you couldn’t understand a word of what the whispers said. Slowly, you slipped to sleep, the whispers seeming to sing to you softly, what seemed like fingers gently stroking your hair luring you to sleep.

-WITH HASAN--THIRD POV-

Sitting on the cot that laid in the hut situated at the bottom of the mountain, Hasan was confused to hear what seemed like humming. Putting his book aside, and standing from the cot, he brushed his shorts of any dirt and walked outside. While Hasan didn’t want to go to the shoreline, he was curious to see what was going on.

That is, until he heard a couple voices.

“Hey! Quit it, you little shit! I just washed my hair!”

“It’s your fault for tripping me!”

“It’s not my fault that you can’t walk!”

“Oh my god, you two. Just shut up already. We’ll never get to (Y/n) if you two keep like this.”

“Shut up, Tim.”

Hasan’s eyes widened, and he cursed. How did they get here? Did they get blessed? But why? When Hasan was about to run to the mountain, he stepped on a branch, causing it to snap.

“Wait, did you hear that?”

“Shh!”

Hasan’s heart dropped, and he shook his head. There was no way he was going to be able to run from the Batfamily. When they jumped out at him, weapons draw, Hasan still couldn’t help the little scream that escaped him, his leg coming up as he covered himself.

“Don’t hit, don’t shoot!”

The man with the red helmet paused and asked, tilting his head.

“Hasan?”

Hasan blinked and turned, his eyes lighting up in recognition.

“Mr. Todd?”

The man took his helmet off, and there, indeed, was Jason. Hasan sighed and murmured.

“I would say I’m surprised, but your will is stronger than the Gods, bless their hearts.”

He smiled, but Jason wasn’t as amused as he was. His eyes were darting around, searching, and growing agitated with every second that passed.

“Where is she?”

Hasan bit his lip and gestured for them to walk with him.

“Ms. Todd is at the Temple on top of the mountain. However, we cannot step foot onto the stairs that lead up. If we do, we will be smited down the second we do.”

Dick gasped and asked, staring at the stairs embedded into the mountain that lead all the way into the clouds.

“She walked up all of those stairs?”

“Yes, and I must say she was having fun while doing so. I’m pretty sure she was cussing me out, but I was never good at reading lips.”

Dick chuckled, and Hasan smiled. Jason murmured, clipping his helmet onto his back.

“I’m going to get her.”

Dick gawked.

“Jason, you can’t! Didn’t you hear what he said? We don’t know if the Followers blessed us to be able to step foot onto those stairs, let alone onto Temple grounds. You’ll get killed.”

“I have to try!”

Jason snapped, glaring at Dick with a fire that Dick swore he could feel the heat from. Turning to the staircase, Jason swallowed thickly, and swore he heard Hasan mutter ‘I can’t look’. Raising his foot, Jason shakily let it fall onto the step, and let his breath escape him.

When nothing happened, he turned and snapped.

“Get fucked, Dick.”

With that, Jason began walking up the mountain, the boys all groaning while Hasan stood in awe.

[PART NINE]

Permanent Taglist/East of Eden Taglist: @maroongoon @an-all-write-life @welcometothecasmofsar @amnahs9695 @cuddlysteven @vermelian @stormyfandoms @loudmouthwally @prancingdestiel @frida-marie @rcbinwcrld @thatawesomenerdygirl @hi-this-is-my-blog @addicted-to-dc @crazyfreckledginger @jasonsredhoodie @conspiracy-teen

#Jason Todd #Reader #Jason Todd x Reader #Jason Todd & Daughter! Reader #Red Hood #Red Hood x Reader #Red Hood & Daughter! Reader #East of Eden

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hot-topic-for-vikings · 6 years

Text

Session 5 Recap

When we left off last time, the gang had just finished defeating a group of racists in a street brawl involving fire and puns. Now, the leader of the orc group they were defending, Siv, has suggested they move someplace more discreet to avoid the gathering crowd’s eyes. The gang (minus Belloth who was busy arm wrestling villagers or something) reaches a basement tavern on the impoverished side of town where the orcs reside.

Shadowdancer orders her usual tall glass o’ cow juice.

Shadowdancer: "Gimme the tit squeezins!"

Bartender: “Calm down...Here...”

Eff Off (Shadowdancer): [I taste it]

Eff Off (Shadowdancer): [is it cold]

Hamster Master (GM): [its the coldest and most delicious milk you've ever tasted]

Shadowdancer: "Holy shit."

Shadowdancer drinks all of it and leaves the milk mustache on.

The group is curious about what happened back at the town. Siv tries to explain as best as she can.

Apparently those kinds of scuffles happen often, with people that like to push the orcs around whenever they enter the town square. The mood grows even icier at the mention of Frida.

Tuile: "Have you...spoken to or interacted with the woman known as Lady Frida lately?"

Shadowdancer: "Or with the people working for her?"

As the name of the lady leaves your lips you notice how the orcs around you suddenly tense up, and the friendly smile on Siv's face turns almost sour and forced.

Siv: Ah...the lady.

Tuile: "Oh. Welp.”

Corva: "I take it you guys aren't on good terms."

Siv: Well I can't say she's very...popular among us.

Shadowdancer: "Why's that?"

The orc beside her, a shorter male, scoffs at that.

Shadowdancer: "I heard some of you had a bit of a scuffle with a few of her guards that were out of uniform."

Male Orc: She's a fucken piece of wolf-shit.

Shadowdancer: "I don't doubt that.”

Tuile: "From what we've learned, that seems reasonable."

Despite the discrimination the orcs have faced before, Frida is the only noble to try and actively get rid of them.

Siv: When she stepped into power she immediately began renovating our homes, and at first that gave us hope of course but....then we weren't let back in. It's like she's waiting for the people to take us out...or sickness...or the cold of sleeping outside at night.

Corva: "That's awful, I'm so sorry. Who were the houses given to after they were stolen from you?"

Shadowdancer wipes her milk stache with a sympathetic expression.

Siv: Thank you...Well it was given to anyone else, really. People from the bad parts that needed new homes. As long as they weren't orcs.

Tuile tries to prompt Siv into saying more but fails a persuasion check. Shadowdancer tries and passes, leading Siv and Shadowdancer to a conversation the rest of the group isn’t privy to.

Shadowdancer: "You knew he was watching but didn't do anything about it? I suppose there wasn't much to do without looking even worse."

Siv: “He was adorable. We were going to talk to him but then they showed up and we didn't want him to get hurt.”

Shadowdancer nods.

Siv: “He was safer up there.”

Shadowdancer: "Fair enough."

The group is confused but Shadowdancer waves it off.

A room check shows nothing out of the ordinary besides the orcs regarding the group with suspicion. Shadowdancer agrees to help the orcs in any way. After a quiet discussion, the rest of the group reaches that same agreement after acknowledging that they hold no loyalties to Frida and are mostly in it for the money they were promised.

Siv then mentions a ‘Boss,’ much to the confusion of the group.

Siv: “Well if you want to help we can probably find something for you, though we'll have to save that talk for later.”

She looks at her group and they nod, all smiling.

Siv: “We got to speak with Boss first about this. Don't worry. We'll send someone to find you.”

Shadowdancer looks at the others and mouths "Boss?"

Corva shrugs.

Tuile shakes her head and crosses her arms, looking down.

The group decides it’s time to go, but not without being reminded of the goal they’ve all been striving for with all their hearts:

Camilla (Corva): [guys i reckon larry is lost forever now]

Cravin Raisins (Tuile): [:( thats quitter talk]

Eff Off (Shadowdancer): [sock keeper ate him]

Cravin Raisins (Tuile): [prOBABLY]

Hamster Master (GM): [#justiceforlarry]

Briar (Heskan): [larry is secretly some eldritch abomination and is heskan's patron]

Tuile thirsts after Siv and her orc teeth.

The group heads out for the night to sleep but realize it’s only 16:00 (4 PM) in game. They find ways to pass the time.

Shadowdancer flirts with orcs, who are very interested in her sparkling horns.

Tuile sulks in the corner and complains to Freya, her goddess. She answers with feelings of anger and sadness, which worry Tuile.

Corva spends the evening sorting through her things, looking unhappy.

Heskan does His Thing.

Shadowdancer rolls persuasion to try to convince an orc to invite her home so she doesn’t have to pay for a room. She rolls a 20. Two orcs, a muscly lady and one guy, are interested.

Eff Off (Shadowdancer): [bye lads i'm getting dicked down by an orc]

Tuile looks at the camera likes she's on the fantasy office.

More of the evening passes with Tuile fuming to her goddess about stress baking and moral crises, though Freya doesn’t seem concerned with baking at the moment.

Eff and Ham convince Cravin to roll persuasion to see if any of the Hot Orcs will wanna spend the night with Tuile.

Camilla (Corva): [Corva isn't interested in any peen or vageen]

Cravin Raisins (Tuile): [im gonna roll a 2 and have to leave town]

Hamster Master (GM): [there's a lady orc sitting next to ya]

Hamster Master (GM): [she's glancing over at you]

Tuile rolls and gets a 23.

Hamster Master (GM): [HOLY]

Eff Off (Shadowdancer): [NICE]

Camilla (Corva): [damn]

Cravin Raisins (Tuile): [BYE LOSERS]

While Tuile and Shadowdancer are occupied, Heskan and Corva figure out where they’re going to sleep for the night. Both decide to spend the night at the tavern they’re occupying for 5 silver.

The night passes and the group meets up once again at the tavern’s main area. It is uneventful and Shadowdancer definitely does NOT ask Tuile is she nutted. Neither Shadowdancer nor Tuile explicitly admit they had sex with the orcs, either.

Then, the ground begins to shake.

Everyone rolls dexterity to see if they fall.

Heskan and Corva manage to stay upright by grabbing onto the bar counter.

Shadowdancer falls but is unhurt.

Tuile falls on her face immediately.

Everyone is confused.

The bartender makes a comment about the gods, making Tuile suspicious. She helps Shadowdancer pick up the broken glass from the bar, deep in thought. She gives herself a cut and is healed by Corva. Tuile recollects talking to her goddess earlier and the feelings of anger and stress she felt. She decides to try and contact her goddess again.

Slowly the feeling of anxiety spread to your body, as if it's being forced upon you. But just as sudden as it appeared it's gone again.

Heskan: "What's wrong?

Tuile: "She's angry. Scared of something. Anxious. I-I don't know exactly..."

Heskan: "What could be powerful enough to make a god scared?"

Shadowdancer: "Don't like that."

Heskan: "Me neither."

Tuile looks sick and panicked.

She heads to the door for fresh air when it opens, another person crashing into her. The figure reveals herself to be Mari!

She says she is here to meet with the group, and when questioned takes out a piece of paper.

There's only a sigil on it, a blind raven with an eye in its beak.

Mari: “We've decided to welcome your help.”

- Goats

#campaign 1 #session 5 #session 5 recap

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bifaq · 6 years

Text

Bisexual Media Masterpost

Someone sent us a message asking whether we know any media containing bi characters and I thought “hoo boy time for another masterpost.” So here it is. Add your rec + at least one sentence describing it in the reblogs or responses and I’ll update the post to include them! [these titles] are ones that don’t actually label characters as bi but where a character has relationships with people of more than one gender and isn’t really labelled otherwise. These are ones that have been suggested by our followers.

TV Shows and Webseries

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Police squad turned chosen family fighting crime and occasionally each other (in ridiculous bets).

The 100 - Post-apocalyptic space society decides that for some reason, a bunch of teen delinquents are the best people to repopulate the earth. Except earth already has inhabitants. (cn: bury your gays, tragedy porn)

Black Mirror, specifically the episode San Junipero - Shy awkward gay lady meets bubbly bi lady for dancing, sex and technology-based hide-and-seek.

Orange is the New Black - BamBi discovers that being rich doesn’t (reliably) keep you from going to prison and that other people have real problems.

How to get away with murder - Black bi law professor cannot believe what her students get themselves into.

Orphan Black - Clones try to find out how many fucking roles Tatiana Maslany is capable of playing within the same plot.

Lip Service - Scottish The L Word, which reminds me

The L Word - I really don’t know how to adequately describe this if you’ve never heard of it, please google it.

Dear White People: A bunch of black college students have very different ideas about how to deal with on-campus racism.

Crazy Ex Girlfriend: Woman thinks moving to a new town to be close to her ex-boyfriend will cure depression, surprisingly finds that this is not the case.

Couple-ish: Nonbinary bi artist and their lesbian (?) roommate have to fake a relationship for visa purposes.

Greys Anatomy has a strong female bisexual main character called Callie Torres who is AMAZING but there is a lot of seasons of it

The O.C. - During the second season of this teen drama about a boy from a poor, troubled family being taken in by a wealthy family with problems of their own, a bisexual recurring character is introduced as a love interest for one of the main characters. [The Legend of Korra - Sequel to Avatar: The Last Airbender, follows teenage Avatar Korra as she tries to keep the world and herself in balance with some help from her friends and mentors. (Although the label bi is not used in the show, the creators released a statement explicitly using the word right after the finale aired and it may be in the sequel comics.)]

Shadowhunters - 18 year old girl finds out about her destiny of being a demon-fighting Shadowhunter and goes on a journey to find herself and defeat evil

Movies

[Cloudburst (2011) - adorable old sapphic ladies take a roadtrip to Canada so they can get married before their grandkid can put one of them in a home and split them up.]

[Margarita with a straw (2014) - Talented writer with cerebral palsy discovers that she deserves to be more than people’s token disabled girl, leaves behind unsatisfying boy crushes and (temporarily) her family to go to college in the states and fall in love with a blind lady.]

Brokeback Mountain (2005) - Bisexual shepherds get mistaken for gay cowboys.

Appropriate Behavior (2014) - Confused twenty-something tries to reconcile being a model Iranian daughter with being a bisexual woman with a live-in girlfriend. (I’m pretty sure there’s some transphobic language, but unfortunately can’t recall the details.)

[When Night is Falling (1995): College professor is torn between boyfriend/colleague and local mysterious circus lady.]

3 (2010) - Midlife-crisis-y couple begins separate affairs with the same guy. (I’m not totally sure if this film is available in English, it’s originally German. It might be my favorite movie ever, though, and I strongly recommend you watch it if you ever have the chance.)

[Frida (2002) - A visually stunning biopic on bisexual painter Frida Kahlo. I recently learned that Salma Hayek was pressured by Harvey Weinstein to include a sex scene with another woman, and honestly don’t know how I feel about that. Not wanting to include a scene that confirms a historical figure’s bisexuality seems not super great, but forcing women to perform sex scenes for the voyeuristic enjoyment of gross dudes in power positions is super disgusting, so.]

RENT (2005) - Struggling artists do their best to (not) pay rent. Instead, they sing a lot (like people in musicals tend to do.)

Books (fiction)

The Second Mango (plus sequels), by @shiraglassman: Lesbian jewish Disney princess goes on magic quests, finds bi working class girlfriend and (platonic) bi royal consort/baby daddy along the way. Includes many more queer characters as well.

Rewriting the Ending, by hp tune: Sapphic broke-writer-meets-rich-heiress fluff. (cn: some unaddressed bi erasure on the part of one protagonist.)

Ex-wives of Dracula by Georgette Kaplan: Cheerleader and dorky girl-next-door develop a thirst for blood and for each other. (cn: grown man trying to hook up with high school girls.)

The Color Purple by Alice Walker: Woman gets mistreated by all the men in her life, realizes her husband’s mistress is the best thing in her life. (cn: domestic abuse & rape)

The Light of the World by Ellen Simpson: Local bi woman cannot believe that her grandmother was gay for another lady, enlists help of her friendly neighborhood historian to find out more.

Orlando by Virginia Woolf: immortal person finds life is too long to settle for one gender (both identity- and attraction-wise).

[Temple of My Familiar by Alice Walker: A non-linear journey through the lives and thoughts and memories of several connected characters, includes a section featuring the women from The Color Purple.] [Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis: A fantasy in which a boy in our world can for unknown reasons see through the eyes of a bisexual, servant girl in other world every time he closes he eyes.] [Some Girls by Kristin McCloy - a woman in her twenties moves cross country to make a life for herself in NYC despite the wishes of her loved ones.]

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Books (nonfiction)

When we rise: My life in the movement by Cleve Jones - A personal memoir of an activist of the Gay Liberation movement. Not focussed on bisexuality in any way, but good context I think for debates with people who think it makes sense to define our community by “who originally started it.” Spoiler alert: There was no one person or group and also language and identity evolve over time.

Sapphistries: A global history of love between women by Leila J. Rupp - It’s an ambitious project to cover all of human history on the entire planet, but this is a pretty good attempt. Deals a lot with evolving identities and the difficulty of pinning labels on historical figures.

Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Eisner - A radical look at bisexuality - its history, its power, and the responses it provokes in the world. Blessed Bi Spirit: Bisexual People of Faith edited by Debra Kolodny - A multifaith collection of essays by bisexual people of faith. Published in the 90s, so some of the language is dated but it still is very relevant to today. Some of Us Did Not Die: New and Selected Essays of June Jordan - A collection of new and selected essays spanning the entire career of bisexual activist and author, June Jordan. She writes on issues of gender, race, sexuality, violence, writing, politics, etc.

Podcasts

Queery: Cameron Esposito talks to queer people about their identities, feeling ok in your own skin, coming out, and more. (I especially loved the episode where she chats with Stephanie Beatriz who, you guessed it, is bi. There’s also one with Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual.)

The Bright Sessions: Therapy sessions for people with supernatural abilities. What could possibly go wrong?

Love

mod platypus

#bi charaters #bisexual characters #bisexual media #bisexuality in media #bi representation #bisexual representation #media recs

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solemnveloci · 6 years

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COCO & BOOK OF LIFE Joint Review

Alright, lemme just get this out of the way.

I know that I’m gonna get some people saying “Hey, don’t compare them! They did a good job conveying two different stories, don’t be spiteful to one over the other!” and that’s a good point. I didn’t even intend on watching them back to back at first.

However, I needed a cleanser after the three straight Open Season movies I’d watched, and it made more sense to me to rewatch TBoL and to… first-watch Coco since they were both about the same holiday. So, worry not. I’ll get it over with quick in the beginning.

Let’s start! (obvious spoilers for both movies)

The Book of Life was practically strangled to death before its time by the multiple years in production until it was finally accepted by ReelFX. The creative minds behind the project were native Mexicans Jorge Gutierrez and Sandra Gutierrez, famous for such projects as El Tigre, Carmen Got Expelled, and with resident fish-kisser Guillermo Del Toro working as producer, they could finally bring their idea to fruition.

Then Lee Unkrich went to Mexico on holiday, mentioned sugar skulls to his higher-ups, and Pixar immediately grabbed him by the throat and said, “DUDE MAKE A MOVIE.” DisNepotism at its finest.

Of course, Disney proceeded to screw themselves over so hard they practically ripped their metaphorical cocks off when they tried to trademark DIA LOS MUERTOS so that no icky DreamWorks producer could get their paws on it. The blatancy of this dick movie rightfully pissed off about a million Latino people (Mexican or otherwise) and Disney realized that maybe they had the wrong priorities. In order to assuage the backlash, they threw about six Mexican creators at the script and creative departments and begged them to sew up the Austria-sized fuckup.

Coco now sits as the highest animated film of all time in Mexico. I’d say they helped a lot.

PROS

The Book of Life:

God, the voice acting is amazing. How the hell they got Channing Tatum in this, I’ll never know, but he nails his lines like he’s not even trying. Kate Del Castillo and Diego Luna are my two favorites, though, considering they dual-dubbed La Muerte and Manolo in both English and Latin American Spanish. This line in particular always gets me.

I adore the puppets as a framing device. There’s just something so cool about it, especially with how characters like Xibalba and the Candlemaker interact with them.

Joaquin shouting his own name like a Pokémon every time he does something.

The Mariachi brothers physically roll around sometimes instead of walking.

Both versions of Manolo’s love song are gorgeous and sweet. They’re a welcome addition to the jukebox musical style of the rest.

Placido Domingo as Manolo’s disabled, opera-singing, bullfighter great-grandpa.

*chuckles* “They crushed our dreams!”

Manolo’s mom is so darling, you guys.

“Being bullfighters, we often flirt with death.” “And that’s why there’s so many of you down here.”

Xibalba, the god of evil, pigging out on a giant table of food and causally telling Manolo that’s he’s been completely screwed over.

Something’s oddly funny about the fact that Chakal’s got a giant, untouched drawing of the medal in his Cave O’ Death.

“Hey! My arthritis is gone!”

“Hello… puddle.”

Manolo’s mom bitchslapping Chakal.

The scene where Manolo apologizes to all the bulls his family killed, and the way the bull just clams down and dissolves into marigolds, like its soul was just put to rest.

Luchadore Priest. Hell, just the whole fight scene.

The kiss between Manolo and Maria, not helped by the fact I though he was flipping Chakal off during it instead of raising a finger.

“Men! Typical.” I love that delivery. “WELP, SAW THIS SHIT COMIN’.”

The little goth kid passing out when La Muerte undisguises herself.

Coco:

Again, the voice acting, fucking astounding. Props goes to Gael Garcia Benal, he pulls off his character so well! Disney/Pixar movies have sort of been lackluster with their voice acting (with a few exceptions) but this one was perfect.

*flashback to Ernesto getting flattened under a bell* “I wanna be just like him!”

“Miguel, vitamins are real.” “Well, now I’m thinking they might be!”

Hector’s facial expressions are so good, you guys.

Actually, I want to talk more about this. Not just him, but all the physical comedy with the skeletons. Like, they way they detach their limbs or heads, it’s so animated and weird. Reminds me of old cartoons.

If someone told me they watched this movie for Hector, I’d support them.

“Those aren’t the words!” “There are children present.”

I don’t care if all the acts were meant to be bad on purpose, I thought they were cute.

“Bring back the singing dogs!”

Seriously, the body language is incredible. Gael must have been having the time of his life recording this.

“HAVE YOU MET MY GRANDSON?”

“I hope you die very soon!”

Ernesto’s twist villainy is better than Big Hero Six and Frozen combined, fight me.

In fact, it’s the only way the villainy would have worked. Dammit, Disney! You made it look lazy!

Holy fuck, he just fell over. That’s… jarring.

Art theft is bad, you guys.

*sobbing*

*LOUDER SOBBING*

Awww! She’s dead! Wait, that sounds bad.

CONS

You scrolled down here for the negativity, didn’t you?

Book of Life: This movie gets shorter every time I watch it. Not kidding. Maybe it’s because I’m used to all the plot beats and twists. But… why is it soooo short?! Even like, two more scenes could have helped it along. I NEED MORE.

Coco: The inclusion of Frida Kahlo. This one kinda doesn’t count, but it does annoy me that she was used as just a quirky side-character, which is a huge slap in the face for all that she’d done as an artist and an activist. The gag at the beginning with Hector wasn’t that bad, but if I could’ve changed it, I’d put the guy who invented Alebrijes in her place, Pedro Linares. You’d only have to do a little bit of tweaking, the Rivera family would dress as a giant Alebrije puppet to get backstage instead, Hector could disguise himself as one to sneak past Ernesto’s guards, and we could have this scene.

Ernesto: Ah, excuse me, sir! The stage is that way.

Hector: *takes off mask*

Ernesto: Hector. You’ve gotten back into performing, I see.

And now, for some rapid-fire nitpicks if that wasn’t enough negativity for you.

Why does the museum have a trick wall? Is it always there, or just there when La Muerte needs it? Is this their day job, or did they shapeshift into actual museum workers? Where’s Joaquin’s Mom? If she’s alive, why is she neglecting a child to live out in the streets? If she’s dead, who the hell raised him before Maria’s dad? Where’s Maria’s mom? Is nobody going to point out that Manolo is the only living member of his family left?!

Why didn’t Imelda just ban people seeking out musical careers and not all music? Are they not allowed to go to church? What do they do for parties? Quincenaras? Did nobody that Hector knew talk about the movie where his own death was ripped off? Did he never even overhear it? If you do something evil, do you only go to the Land of the Remembered if you never get caught? What if you’re a serial killer who never got caught? Does that mean there’s a hell? DID CHICH GO TO HELL BECAUSE HE WAS FORGOTTEN? WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP GHOST CAPITALISM DOES THE PIXAR-VERSE AFTERLIFE RUN ON

#review #reviews #reelfx #disney #pixar

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canvaswolfdoll · 5 years

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CanvasWatches: Hilda

Turns out, when they order a full cour worth of standard-length episodes, Netflix’s original content is good! Who’d’ve guessed?

Anyways, Hilda excited a few twitter-ers I follow, my brother, and a friend attempted to force me to binge it with him.[1] So I was obliged.

I even bought the first book afterwards! You can just stick with the show. More charming art and writing.

My summary ruling: it’s good! Watch it! My favorite (actual) Netflix Original. Go watch it, then come read my ramble.

Do it.

Anyways, spoilers and weird tangents follows.

Hilda is a Netflix Original children’s animated show about Hilda, a blue-haired girl and self-described Adventurer living in a world of myth and magic, who finds herself more at home in the wilderness and woods than the city. However, after the events of the pilot, she and her mother’s cabin is destroyed and they move to Trolsberg, where Hilda must adapt to the life of a normal English(?)[2] schoolchild, while using her knowledge of Beasts and powers of Empathy to resolve the episodic conflicts. Hilda makes two human friends (A boy and a girl, as per the laws of party composition), learns to love her new environment, and joins the most sinister of organizations…

A Youth Scouting Program.

Otherwise… it’s a slice of life tale set in a world where magic and trolls and other fantastical elements are blase.

Which is exactly my jam.[3]

Although, I must confess, while Hilda’s very endearing, the mythical beings that enter her life are dripping with personality, and Hilda’s mother is a good balance of supportive and concerned, the human friends, David and Frida, were somewhat… lacking.

Frida is the typical perfectionist archetype, who dives into utter selfish hypocrisy near the end of the season, which takes her from generic trope to actually unlikeable.

David… has a bug on him? He’s the scaredy cat, but he’s got no meat to his personality to gnaw on. He’s just there. Remove him and, outside inciting a few incidents, nothing would be lost.

Which is a bad delivery when one of the themes of the show is making a home and finding wonder wherever you are when the mundane world of Trolsberg is just… so dull, even down to the human members of the main cast.

Like, yes, obviously the fantastic elements will steal the show, but I’d still like to enjoy the company of the two friend characters. Instead, it’s always a case of ‘Oh, you’re here too, David? Good for you, mate. Uh… Hilda doing anything interesting?’

And Frida… ugh, Frida. So, up until her and Hilda’s big falling out near the end of the season, her prideful nature was a pretty good conflict engine. Then we find out that, unbeknownst to her, a ghost had been tidying up her room while she slept, so Frida just assumed that… bedrooms were like that? A silly conclusion, but magic is a very real property, so not impossible. Her friends tease her, and then try to get her ghost back.

Which leads to Hilda volunteering herself and her friends to wrestle a ghost which… is actually the most unconventional conflict resolution I’ve seen in a ghost plotline, so good on them.

But when that doesn’t fix Frida’s sudden loss of a ghost maid, Frida gets mad because her friends were teasing her and Hilda apparently keeps dragging her friends into magical adventures.

Having double checked, there was one (1) previous plot driven by Hilda’s choices having negative consequences on others (and it wasn’t even actively to Frida’s detriment). The rest are Hilda fixing external conflicts.

Basically, Frida is 100% in the wrong, and does nothing to redeem herself.

The real charm comes with the world of the fantastic. And how, in the world of Hilda, Dark is not Evil.

Yyeeessss.

Finally.

I have been campaigning for this for so long. There is no ‘Evil Magic’ or ‘Dark influences’ or inherent badness.

Just conflicts in Orange and Blue morality, and attempts to compromise.

Hilda literally uses dark magic in an episode to help her friends, and the aesop isn’t ‘don’t fiddle in the workings of fate’ but ‘read the full instructions and fine print, ya dork,’ an important lesson in this age of Terms of Service and job applications that require personal information, and other contracts we stumble through and sign blindly.

One of the most consistently helpful adults is a goth librarian who is totally a witch and probably all up in necromancy considering she knows where bodies are buried to suspicious specifics. And no one calls her morals to question because Gothbrarian is just cool.

Heck, it constantly calls you to question ‘how things have always been’. There’s no established canon that isn’t given nuance.

Trolls[5] don’t actively seek to harm humans, merely to get bells off their nose or recover their babies.

Elves, introduced as bureaucracy-loving nerds to a member, have a rogue faction who are sick of paperwork.

The Woodman… is a snarky plotter who doesn’t respect boundaries, but I love him so he gets a pass.[6]

Darkness and the unknown are portrayed as another facet of the world. It’s not necessarily an ill, just something to be approached with caution and a genuine desire to learn.

Which isn’t to say there aren’t dangers, of course. Trolls are physically imposing and resent humans for hunting them and harassing them with bells. Marra do sneak into homes to inflict terrorizing nightmares upon sleeping victims and laugh about it with their friends later. Even the Black Hound of the last two episodes, a giant adorable dog trying to find his home, did canonically eat three people and had to be ordered to spit them out.

So, be cautious, but, as seen with the Nisse subplot, don’t take conventional wisdom and rumor as the absolute truth.

It’s a great world with well written morals for kids and adults, and I eagerly await the next season. Hopefully, by then, Frida and David can be given more involved personalities, and the human citizens of Trolsberg more fun things to do than fill the scene and be utterly mundane. There’s a lot to fire the imagination and a desire to explore and research, and all while being genuinely witty!

Thank you for reading! Please consider checking out my other works, like other reviews, my webcomic, or the first couple of chapters of a webnovel (chapters 0 + 1 free on my Patreon, which you should consider supporting). Even set up a Ko-Fi it’s that’s more your speed. Until next time…

Kataal kataal.

[1] Which was very rude, Jason. I already said it was next on my watch list, I actually enjoy an amount of solitude when watching stuff. Gives me more control. [2] At least, they’ve all got British Accents. Despite the show being produced in Canada… and apparently set in Scandinavia-landia… [3] There’s even a few puppies! Plus clever writing.[4] [4] Just missing Japan and cute women with glasses from this checklist. Maybe season 2? [5] Who, like in Discworld, are creatures of living stone. [6] Woodman is the best.

#CanvasWatches #hilda #netflix #CanvasReviews #hilda netflix #hilda the series

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wishingfornever · 5 years

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1/31/2018 – No Contact: Petty Bourgeois Emotion

If there is a God then he would truly be a tyrant.

Sorry… Starting off a bit strong. The point is, I realized why I haven’t been able to tend to my journal as of late. I got a TON of hours lately. So much so that I can’t really handle the journal. I get home late at night, consider writing in my journal, but I forget. Then I have to fall asleep. I hear my cousin in the other room… I don’t want to wake her. So, nothing gets done.

A lot of work means little time for play. My days off consist of me doing nothing for an hour and then realizing that hour lasted the entire day. D’oh.

Work went well today… was thinking of some of the things I wanted to tell you but haven’t due to… well, the workload. It’ll lighten up in a bit. I work today (current time being 12:45 in the morning, which means I would have been the 30th of January instead of 31st had I hustled, but whatever). I worked yesterday, of course, and it went… well. The day before, not so much. The 29th… Really bad. I don’t think Diana likes me.

I’ve been punished for my lust. :/

I thought my manager I have been closing with did too. No, she’s just usually annoyed. She speaks so softly and I can’t hear that well because everything was loud with my dad. I really realized I’m not fond of my dad, lately. :/

Regardless, work went well today. It’s a tuesday, so better than monday. January is the Monday of Months, of course.

My manager was late for her bus on the 29th. Yesterday (or today, whatevs) we got out at a regular time. It’s great. I hope she caught her bus but idk. I had a lot of time to think, mind you. Think of… what? My life?

I’m feeling more centered. Found… several songs. One is an animation… Beautiful, I think. Just… it appeals to me. I have it on repeat, basically. It’s… given me a bit of hope. I listen to the lyrics and… well, I relate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRpiBvwKX6c

The song is called “The Villain I Appear to be” which is apt. Listen to it… maybe you’d disagree. After reading what you’ve read. Knowing what you know. Maybe you’ll know better. Maybe I’m not familiar with the villain I really am. Hard to tell.

There are several other songs. Expanded my favorites. It’s… helped. Music is a salve for the soul. These songs, I’ve stumbled upon in one way or another… they’ve been a light when I’ve been totally isolated in solemn darkness.

There is this song… makes me think of Esther. I think I’ll keep it to myself. It’s a good song, but I’ve already shared one in this post. Won’t share another.

Man… Was thinking about Dennis earlier today. Months ago, I was coming up with a plan. I was going to call Esther a whore or something? I wouldn’t have meant it but if Dennis exploded at Shane, he’d DEFINITELY exploded at me. So, I would have picked a fight. Would have been easy.

Again, months ago. I was more angry then. After he blocked me when I thought we could reconcile. Bullshit. That’s still bullshit.

Whatever. Point is, after doing some weight training… I’m not sure I could take him. Not confident in my strength anymore. This is why I think God is a tyrant. This was the one thing I had faith in and now… it’s gone. I had nightmares where I’d just decay and my muscles would weaken. Maybe that was my body trying to tell me that my horrors became the facts.

I’m not pleased.

Needless to say, I’m not trying to get in a fist fight with Dennis. Not anymore, at least. I need more exercise first, and even then… I don’t think I have the heart for it. Then again, the ORIGINAL plan was to have him hit me but I know he wouldn’t do that. We’d have to agree on the fight to make it legal. It’s on private property, so it should be fine.

I thought about it long and hard. Again, not the plan anymore. I guess the plan is to keep bitching about them until I get tired of it. Yay?

Been watching a lot of streamers lately. Probably a bad thing. It’s been making me late. I’ve considered streaming myself. Gives me someone to talk to. I am starting to feel the lack of friends. I’ve selected this solitude for myself. How generous I’ve become. D’oh…

Oh, my NationState. MN Has been INACTIVE. Yes, for reasons. Mostly that I’m busy and the responsibilities stress me the FUCK out. Like, really. Life sucks. -,-

Among my musical discoveries, I also discovered the most attractive woman I’ve ever seen. A PornStar. At least, she was the most initially attractive woman. Her name I Mia Magma, born several years before me. A German woman and it took me forever to discover this. I saw her doing a very passionate blowjob and I couldn’t even fap. She just had the face of an angel.

Later, I discovered her teeth were somewhat peculiar and she doesn’t have much of an ass, unfortunately. Ah, well.

Still, she’s a beautiful woman. I made a PornHub account just to say she’s beautiful. Used my public screen name as my private screen name was… taken. I avoid numbers. Bad luck. So, I said fuck it. I don’t have anything to hide from anyone. Why should I care? Oh, what if someone finds me? Finds where I live and kills me? Bah! I don’t care. Doubt they would.

That said, I realized I might not have mentioned this. I was watching A LOT of porn and I was concerned that I miiiiiight have had viruses. Could have explained the blue screening too. So, I found an antivirus. Got a years subscription. Would get too but I’ve been talking to one of my cousins about getting a new one. Seems since the bitcoin bubble, prices for computers went up. I think I mentioned this, actually…

Regardless, I’d have to get a new antivirus if I get a new computer and I think this one would at least last the year. I found USB drives at work. Cheap and should be big enough for this file. I’ll move the important files over to it and work directly from there. Hopefully, if my computer dies before I’m through, I’ll be prepared and I won’t have to salvage everything or start over.

I woke up this morning screaming. No, didn’t dream about Esther. Leg cramped. Right calf. I could feel the muscle in a place it wasn’t supposed to be. Not a good sign. Thought today was going to be bad. It may have been… a little bit. Again, for the most part it was good. Tiresome though…

I’ve been trying to get back into gaming but… eh. It’s sort of why I wanted to start streaming. So I could have a REASON to get back into gaming. It’s not a good way, but it’s something. In fact, I should probably embrace not gaming. It might help. Idk.

You know, I don’t ever get to share what I want to share. I know I’ll forget something but… Eh. I’m going to watch a French-Iranian movie called “Persepolis.” I just downloaded a picture quoting the movie so I figured I’d enjoy the source material. After, might play a game of… something and go to bed. Idk. Tomorrow, I don’t work. :D

Persepolis… was a really good movie. Though, I think it hinted that she (Marjane Satrapi) was raped at one point? Two men and she was sleeping in an alleyway. I hope she wasn’t. :/

I liked how in the movie, she wasn’t afraid to portray herself as the villain. She acknowledged what she was doing was wrong. As a child wanting to gouge out the eyes of another child and other instances into adulthood. Heavy stuff. Of course, some cases… she did what she had to. Still, she regretted what she had done afterwards but she acknowledged that they were wrong. She didn’t hide her own injustices.

As a Communist, that’s good. In a debate, Stalin and Mao are inevitably brought up. Can’t deny they happened, can only educate as to WHY it happened. If the fools you’re debating refuse to learn then they aren’t looking for a debate but a confrontation. You won’t sway minds because they’re not offering their minds to be swayed. They have nothing on their mind beyond, “You’re the enemy” despite not knowing why.

There is a lot of history. Concerning imperialism over Iran, the war with Iraq, the religious dictatorship. Marx said religion was the opiate of the masses. I wonder if Satrapi is a practicing Muslim. Wouldn’t be surprised… she thought she’d be a prophet when she got older. Have sections where she spoke to god directly. Then there was Karl Marx, which was interesting. Apparently, after doing a bit of research, she compared Marx to God? Yeah, that sounds like something ripe with controversy.

Still, as I said, I wasn’t expecting much communism in the movie. I mean, the picture I downloaded… it says “Love is a petty bourgeois emotion” with Marjane looking at a dog. I thought the movie was going to be about something else, I didn’t realize the heavy political undertone. I like how everyone but Marjane and her mother have American accents. They both have Iranian accents. Of course, the religious guard have actually… kind of soft and gentle American accents. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were the bad guys, they’d be… adorable.

They all look the same and when they’re not harassing people, they seem quite earnest. Weird to say. Like, they confront Marjane because she’s running and that makes her butt jiggle. She explodes at them (love a strong woman) and they’re confused and almost sad. Again, these guys are all interchangeable with one another. Not sure if that’s intentional or not.

I hope… my books sell well enough to the point that I can contact Marjane. Ask her questions, trade ideas… She is the Frida of my generation. An incredible and deep artist with Communist tendencies? Yes, please. And I think her and her family are terribly clever. I respect that.

I feel like I’ve been getting more dumb lately. Spelling errors, punctuation errors, etc. I’m slipping.

I also want to talk to her now. I need… guidance. Someone who can understand me. She had depression and I certainly do. We have different backgrounds but I get her. Of course, she parties a bit more than I do. She’s not a social outcast, now that I think about it… but she is a wide eyed dreamer. Typical communist, I know. ;)

I’m not like Marjane. Maybe she won’t understand me, now that I think about it. But we are likeminded… perhaps a better word but eh. Could just be wishful thinking.

Eh… I found a page on facebook… as well as facebook profiles. There are tons. Think adding her is too personal. I liked the public page. I want to send her a message but… what would I say?

Hi, I’m a young 20 something with NOTHING happening in my life and I feel like a chronic failure. Our only similarities is that we’re both communists and struggle or used to struggle with depression! Please respond!

I… don’t like messaging famous people. I feel like I’m just… trying to get attention. I don’t like being noticed by the streamer while watching twitch for similar reasons. I feel a lot of guilt for something totally irrelevant.

So… I ended up venting in a stream. Mentioned that I want to message Marjane. Someone told me that if I were to ask for guidance ask if she has time to chat. I just discovered her. That’s… rushing things, I guess? I don’t know. Maybe I should research her more? I don’t know. I don’t know anything. :/

Ugh… I’m caught at a bad time. Very bad time. But that’s life, eh? I’m going to go to bed. Maybe… maybe I’ll message Marjane tomorrow. Talk to her… share my story… Or something, I don’t know. All that I know is that I know nothing.

Time is 11:50.

I was offered a job at work today. Discount Tire. Overtime is 20 per hour. Not sure what it means for regular pay but it’ll be better than Dollar General. I’m excited.

I’ve been feeling very… inspired, I guess. Not necessarily inspired positively or negatively just more susceptible to emotions. When I found out I’ve been noticed, I was just agape with joy. I was hoping earlier that it’d happen to me because I was thinking the universe was turning against me. That maybe I wouldn’t get the chance to see Ariel. My frivolous spending spree has set me back by a lot… I won’t get a card until next week. I’ll call the number and get set up.

I’m excited. More money means Ariel comes sooner… but I also said I wanted to leave. I’d leave later because this would be a more serious job. Maybe I could get it when I come back? If I come back? I don’t know. I’ll see how I feel.

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theartificialdane · 7 years

Text

Galactica, part 243

In this we party, characters take sides, Raven is attentive, shit hit the fan and Bianca keeps checking Instagram.

Thank you @toriibelledarling @samrull and @veronicasanders - You’re all amazing, and V deserves an extra shout out for being the master of drama <3

“Allison!” Jaslene hissed, approaching the blonde over by one of the nail stations. “Did you hear what your roommate and her friend are saying about Raven?”

Allison’s shoulder’s tensed up. “Oh god, what?”

“Apparently that bitch Courtney is going around gossiping about the Marie Claire shoot where her girlfriend fired Raven, and the Galactica show where we had that little tiff with Tati, all of which I thought was ancient history, didn’t you?” Jaslene looked like she was about to boil over, the woman fiercely loyal.

“Yes, I did, but we’ve totally put that behind us-- I mean, Courtney is pretty ok-”

“So why is she still talking about it, on camera?! Is she trying to railroad Raven?” Jaslene threw her arms up.” Are they trying to make her look bad at her own party? Because I’m not gonna let her get away with that! Now come on Alley cat”

“I really don’t want to get involved in any Courtney Act drama…” Allison started, very unsure if she should follow Jaslene’s plan.

Jaslene put her hands on her hips. “Did Bianca del Rio threaten you, too? Is this about that time you dated?”

“We didn’t exactly date-”

“What does she have on you?”

“Nothing! I just don’t want to--”

“Ugh! Where’s Naima?” Jaslene turned on her heel and stomped away, clearly done with Allison.

***

If there was one thing Jeremy could do, it was butter up a damn middle-aged woman. Especially a tipsy one. He smiled at Ramona.

“They’re reeeeally big fans of yours, but they’re too shy to come up to you. They told me they want advice on how to get attention from cameras. But if you ask me, they are plenty beautiful and dramatic. I mean, there was a whole shakeup at the Galactica show last fall, that got a bunch of press. I’ll give you all the details.” Jeremy gave another sly grin, handing Ramon a glass of wine. “They just probably need to own it more. Maybe you could encourage them.”

“Thanks, Jeremy, I’ll tell them!” Ramona giggled, sipping daintily from the glass, Sonja leaning on her arm for support.

***

“Ravey! You ready for your surprise?!” Juju shrieked, yanking her best friend by the arm and dragging her onto the dance floor.

“I guess so?” Raven raised an eyebrow. She’d made it a point as the host not to get plastered, but Juju didn’t seem to have that trouble. Her matron of honor was wasted.

“NOW!” Juju yelled, and a bunch of police officers swarmed into the room.

For a moment, Raven was frightened, until she realized what was going on. Ohhhh, /those/ kind of cops. She turned and laughed at her crazy best friend, who was already grinding on one of the young, burly “police officers.”

Attracted by the hot strippers and happy shrieking of the hostess, more guests began pouring onto the dance floor to join in the fun.

The Hot Cops formed a line and, in unison, ripped off their tearaway pants. Raven clapped her hands. “YEAHHHHHHHH!”

The guys spread out and began to dance with Raven and the rest of the guests. Juju snatched the hat off one of their heads.

“Hey, cutie…” grinned a tanned, muscular stripper, coming up behind Courtney and dangling a pair of handcuffs in front of her. “You’re under arrest.”

She frowned distastefully, slurring, “Um, no. You know what’s not sexy? Police brutality...”

Adore covered her face with her hands, looking at the bewildered stripper apologetically. “Sorry, she’s drunk.” She grabbed Courtney by the wrist and pulled her into the lounge area. “Jesus, dude. He’s just a dancer.”

“I mean, come on Adore. Does anyone in this country even read the news? What’s sexy about cops? Honestly.”

“You are /insane/. Here, eat this chocolate thing. What is this?” Adore examined the fancy-looking pastry, shrugged, popped one in her mouth and handed the other to Courtney, then shoved the blonde towards the sofas where Jinkx and Alaska were lounging, relaxed after their massages.

“Adore, I have something to say, alright? I’m allowed to have a voice!” Courtney insisted. “Stop oppressing me, like some kind of republican fascist.”

“Okay fine.” Adore greeted both of her girlfriends with kisses and flopped down on the couch, pulling out her phone. “Go ahead, buttercup. Tell us allll about what’s wrong with the Hot Cops. And America.”

“Well,” Courtney began, “For starters, maybe they shouldn’t kill unarmed minority children? I mean just this year there were like 4 million.”

“Four million... stripper homicides?” Adore clarified from behind the camera.

“Yes!...No...Adore, shut up…And the war on drugs! Is a bunch of bullshit! And the KKK! Just had a rally! In Orange County! ORANGE COUNTY! CALIFORNIA! That’s like...what?!...” Courtney continued.

***

Raven was having a splendid time at her bachelorette party and she couldn't be more content. Her custom drinks were flowing nicely, her guests enjoyed the decadent pastries and even though there was a fully equipped camera crew, it didn’t feel invasive at all, but then again, Raven had always loved attention above everything else. And the bevy of hot male strippers was the icing on the cake.

She got up, giggling, from her third lap dance, kissing the dancers on the cheeks and tucking a large tip into each of their g-strings. She noticed a familiar, slender figure tucked around the corner and decided it was a good time for a break from the sweaty dance floor and the champagne, and to check in on her young maid of honor.

"Hey, are you ok lovey?" Raven asked, approaching Violet. "You’ve done such a good job hiding from the cameras; I almost forgot you were still here."

Violet blushed bowing her head, knowing that even in the midst of her fun, Raven grey eyes missed nothing. "Sorry," Violet replied softly. “This isn’t really my scene..”

Raven nodded at Violet's response, there was indeed a lot happening in her home, from camera crews and manicurists. The group of drunk adult women who were filming was being tolerated, just as long as no one spilled or broke anything.

Raven drained the rest of her champagne and placed the glass on a nearby table. "It's a lot more stimulation and energy than I anticipated at first. I'm going to kick the camera crew out soon, they should have plenty to work with and they're not even paying me to be here."

Violet smiled at Raven's pout, the other woman truly spoiled, though she had had no problem with the camera crew filming her opening her mountain of pre-wedding presents. "The nerve of some people."

"I know!" Raven agreed with a smile, "letting them enjoy the opulence of my home and hospitality, and I didn't charge them for their dirty tread marks on my once clean floors."

"Hopefully Raja doesn't freak out," Violet supplied. Frida had never been in Raja and Raven’s apartment for that exact reason, the little dog properly housetrained, but Violet didn’t want to risk her beloved dog ending up on the end of Raja’s rage.

"You know, if you want, you can leave and go to Sutan's.”

Violet looked around at the party still in full swing, literally and figuratively, "Are you sure? I don't want to be rude…”

Raven waved her comment away with a wave of her left hand, engagement ring catching in the light. "Don't worry about that," Raven said kindly, standing up and offering her hand to Violet so she could stand. "You're not a party girl.”

Violet accepted a warm hug from Raven and headed for the door, just missing the moment when all hell broke loose.

***

“Well, it looks like the girls are having fun,” Sutan commented. He turned to Detox, showing him a snap from Jaslene of Juju getting a lap dance from a half naked cop. His girls had been sending him snaps all night, the models all loving the quick and easy way to contact their manager to either tattle or brag, and he was pretty sure tonight was a series of brag snaps. Sutan had looked for Violet a few times, but just as he had expected, she was nowhere to be seen, except for a few pictures with Tatianna that looked like they had been taken in a kitchen. A new snap dinged in, and a video of Juju throwing champagne at the strippers ass came on, everyone yelling with excitement.

“My lovely wife,” Detox sighed happily, handing out plates full of grilled steak and vegetables.

“Thanks, Detox, this looks delicious!” Fame exclaimed as she took her plate, the woman clearly slightly wine drunk.

“Well, it looks edible. Don’t exaggerate,” Bianca corrected, leaning over Sutan’s shoulder to see the pictures. Sutan just handed Bianca his phone since he knew she was looking for pictures of Courtney.

“You realize you can just text her, right?”

“Shut the fuck up Amrull.”

Patrick rolled his eyes. “I’ve truly missed this hostile energy…”

“And we missed you too, bro,” Detox said, thumping him on the shoulder.

***

“You know,” Ramona said, putting one arm around Celia and the other around Naima. “You guys just need to embrace your naturally dramatic natures and you’d get tons of publicity.”

“What do you mean?” Celia asked.

“I mean like that thing at the Galactica show! Sure some people may have thought you were bullying that girl but hey! It was also very entertaining and you were just like, being you! Don’t apologize.”

“Is that bitch still talking about us?!” Naima demanded.

“What bitch?” Sonja slurred.

“COURTNEY ACT!” Celia snapped.

“No, she’s not. I didn’t know you knew her. You know her?” Sonja smiled.

“Don’t play dumb with me!”

“She’s not playing dumb, she’s just a little dumb,” said Ramona.

“Ramona!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you know I love you!” Ramona threw her arms around Sonja and kissed her cheek.

“Um, hello? We’re not done here!” Naima exclaimed.

“Sorry, who are you again? I was just trying to be nice, because I heard you wanted advice--”

“Heard from who? That dumb bitch Courtney? Cause she’s a lying whore.”

“What is happening? Sonja asked, blinking.

Jeremy yawning, stretching, picking up his walkie. “/Jane, are you seeing this? I need a raise./”

***

“Oh shit..” Allison saw the fight happening in slow motion, everyone’s voices growing louder and louder, Celia and Jaslene both looking like they were ready to murder. All of them were drunk, and Allison knew that if there was one thing Celia didn’t give when she was drunk, it was half a fuck. Alllison looked around, quickly locating Tatianna, the only thought in her head that they had to get out before the producers caught them on camera. If anyone filmed either her or Tatianna anywhere near the fight, it could be suicide for the campaign Tati just landed with Moschino and the assistant photographer gig Bianca had gotten her with [designer]’s Spring campaign.

“Tati! Come on! We’re leaving!” Allison exclaimed, grabbing Tatianna’s purse and hand, tugging the woman away from the chair she was sitting in, only half of her nails painted.

“I’m in the middle of a manicu-”

Allison dragged her towards the door.

Tati barely had time to grab her shoes before flying down the hall after the petite blonde. “Okay, okay, slow down!”

***

“Did you just throw a DRINK at me?!” Ramona shrieked, red faced, looking like she was ready to haul off and slap Celia. Sonja jumped up to hold her back as the rest of the guests began to pay closer attention to the argument.

“You bet your fat ass I did!” Celia screamed back.

“FAT?!” Ramona lunged forward, clearly about to grab Celia by the hair, when Raven raced over and stood in between them.

***

Violet pressed the elevator button, more than ready to go downstairs and take Frida for her afternoon walk. Violet was considering if she should call Betty and hear if she wanted to watch a movie since she knew Sutan was worth next to nothing when he was drunk. It had been forever since Violet and Betty had hung out outside of work, both of them busy with the holiday collections.

Violet couldn’t wait to find out what Shane was like around the Christmas season, the man a genius in the kitchen. At Halloween Shane had made candied apples, the treats so good Violet had had two. The door opened, and Violet stepped inside, picking her phone out of her pocket, already dialing Betty.

“Hey! Hold the elevator!”

***

Bianca hung up the phone. No answer, again. Fuck.

BIANCA: Everything okay, baby? I haven’t heard from you all night.

BIANCA: I really hope you’re having fun

Bianca shivered, standing on the patio, hiding from the party inside. She’d waited as long as she could, but finally, after not hearing from Courtney for hours, the possessiveness took over, crawling up her spine, and she’d dashed outside without an explanation to try and make contact.

BIANCA: Call me if you get a chance, okay? I love you

Bianca sighed and opened the door, heading back inside.

***

“Thank you for letting us in Violet.” Allison looked around. It had been ages since she had been in Sutan’s apartment, the place exactly as she remembered it, right down to the horrible art on the wall. Orange wasn’t a good color, ever, no matter what any acid trip artist said.

“You’re a lifesaver.” Tatianna smiled. “I mean, I look like a homeless person, who only has four nails done?”

Allison could feel that Tatianna was giving her a dirty look, but Allison didn’t take it to heart. If she knew her friends right drinks where flying upstairs right now, and she was just grateful not to be here.

“It’s fine.. But.” Violet put Frida down, the little pug happily running around her owner’s feet as Violet took Tati’s hand, examining her nails. “I think I have a color that matches this… Should I look for it?”

“I’d be delighted to step into your salon!” Tati giggled.

***

“Just what in GOD’S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?!” Raven yelled.

Suddenly, Ramona, Sonja, Celia, Jaslene, Naima, and Fo were all screaming at once, and none of it made a lick of sense.

“This bitch tried to bring up ancient history--”

“I was trying to help you--”

“Nobody asked for help you old hag--”

“--dragging your name through the mud--”

“--and that little cunt Tatianna!”

“--I’ve never even met Tatianna, who does--”

“--Courtney and her big fucking mouth--”

“--I literally have no idea what you--”

During the course of this commotion, Courtney had come running over with a stupid innocent expression, Adore at her heels, and Raven was sick and tired of all of them, feeling a pounding headache coming on.

“ENOUGH! All of you, get out! And that includes the cameras. Now!!”

Everyone stopped talking, looking at her with slow, blinking eyes.

Raven waited for a beat, and when nobody moved, she added, “I SAID NOW!”

The entire room erupted in chaos again as everyone began to panic, screaming at each other, scrambling for their coats, Jaslene bursting into tears.

Raven stomped away from the group to call Raja, barely holding it together.

***

Raja lay sprawled on the couch, her feet in Sutan’s lap, head in Fame’s, listening to her friends tell stories about her wilder single days.

“...Remember when you and Jinkx got thrown out of that nightclub in Queens and arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct and then Jinkx /bought/ the club and you legit passed out on the chaise lounge after a bender and she made the bouncers put caution tape around you and told everyone that you were part of a performance art piece?”

Raja burst out laughing as her phone began to ring. “We were quite the team...”

“Oh, god, and remember when-”

“Hold that thought-” Raja said, sitting up and answering her phone. “Hello, princess, how’s the party goin-”

“You have to come home /right now/, everything is RUINED!” Raved wailed.

“Wait, what? What are you talking about?!”

“I should never have let the cameras come! The fucking housewives practically got into a fistfight with the elite girls and I’ll explain more when you get home just come NOW!”

Raja stared at the phone, shaking her head. “Dear god.”

“What the hell was that about?” Detox asked.

“Apparently there was drama with the housewives and some of your girls, TanTan.”

“Fuck.”

“She’s really upset. I better go.” Raja signed, reaching for her purse.

“I’ll come with you.” Sutan and Bianca looked at each other, both of them speaking at the exactly same time, the worry for their girlfriends clear in their faces.

Bianca snickered bitterly, following Raja to the door. “Who would have guessed there’d be drama at an event orchestrated by Andy Cohen’s minions? Your fiancée is an idiot.”

Fame cleared her throat, looking down at her phone. “Uhh, B...I think I figured out what Courtney’s been up to. Check Adore’s insta story.”

Bianca pulled out her phone while she exited, nearly slamming the door in Sutan’s face in her haste to find out what the fuck Fame was talking about.

“Jeez, B…” he griped, following the women out to the car.

***

Bianca sat in the backseat of the car beside Sutan, clicking through Adore’s instagram story, cringing at Courtney’s drunken nonsensical ranting.

On the screen, Courtney was going on and on, pacing around the lounge area, swaying unsteadily in her heels while the trifecta of the damned egged her on.

“What was I saying?”

“You were saying the cops need body cameras because of corporate lobbyists,” Alaska offered, as Jinkx laughed in the background.

“Yes, because of the prison industrial complex, which, think about it, is really what all of this is about, capitalism, and money, and the fucking rich people taking everything and using racism to control people. Jinkx understands. Right, Jinkx?”

“That’s me. Capitalist scum.” Jinkx yawned.

“Jinkx, it’s not your fault! You’re a victim too! I mean that’s why you’re an alcoholic. The guilt!”

“Jesus, Courtney,” Adore said, though Jinkx was still laughing.

“Sorry, but I’m just being real. And why isn’t healthcare free? Can anyone answer that? I mean can you answer that? Like right now?”

“No one can answer that, Courtney,” Alaska giggled.

“Just what in GOD’S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?!” Raven’s voice suddenly cut through in the background, causing all four girls to jump in alarm.

Hoo boy, Bianca thought, clicking off and calling Courtney once again. Hopefully she was somewhere safe and getting sober after whatever fight Raven was talking about, which thankfully appeared to be taking place away from Courtney and Adore. Bianca was slightly pissed at her sister for putting that nonsense up on social media, but she’d deal with her later.

No answer. Fuck.

“Well, I guess you shouldn’t be throwing stones about anyone’s intelligence tonight, huh B?” Raja teased.

“Shut up,” Bianca sighed. She decided to try Adore instead. Maybe her sister would answer.

***

Ramona burst through the elevator doors into the lobby, drenched in red wine, burst into the lobby shrieking like a madwoman, followed by a giggling Sonja, being supported by Courtney, and trailed by Adore, Alaska and Jinkx.

“Who does that little B.I. think she is?!”

“What’s a B.I.?” Alaska asked Jinkx.

“I think she means ‘bitch.’”

“I was trying to help her! And her little posse of nobodies! And she calls me old, and FAT!?”

“Ramona, slow down! I don’t understand, what were you even fighting about?!” Courtney asked.

“Apparently your little feud with those models caught up to you, Courtney, and they took it out on me!”

“Feud?! What feud?! Ramonaaaaaaa! Slow DOWN!” Courtney chased her out the door, onto the sidewalk.

Adore answered her phone. “Hey, B, what’s up? Yeah, I’m with her...Well, she’s not answering because she’s currently chasing a crazy blonde woman down the block...What do you mean ‘filming her in a compromising position’? She had her top on…Yeah, I’ll make sure she gets home safely….Calm down, mom.”

Jinkx laughed. “Your sister is too much.”

***

“You realise I’m not a professional, right?”

“What? Really”

Violet smiled at Tatianna’s mock surprise, trying not to blush, as she carefully painted each of Tatianna’s nails. This was the longest she had ever touched the other woman, and it felt weird, but also oh so good. It was like her own little secret, a safe place since Violet knew without a shadow of a doubt that Tatianna was completely straight.

“Oh my god, have you checked Insta?” Tati laughed, holding her phone in her free hand. “Can you believe Adore caught Raven’s face?”

“What? Really?” Allison took the phone.

“Remind me to avoid any future housewives-adjacent activities.”

“I will,” Violet said.

“I dunno, I think it’s kind of fun…” Tati mused.

“Wrong answer!” Allison scolded, pinching her on the ass. “If Sutan could see you no-”

“Hey girls.” The girls turned around, and saw Sutan standing in the door, his jacket over his shoulder.

“Sutan!”

“What are you doing?”

“Drinking wine and painting Tatianna’s nails.” Allison smiled sweetly before she moved to make space for Sutan on the couch, the man sitting down. Allison could see on his face that he was burning with curiosity about what had happened at the party, but she also knew that Raja would most likely fill him in on anything he needed to know, the twins never keeping secrets from each other as far as she was aware.

“Do you want a glass?” Allison held up the bottle, and Sutan nodded with a smile, his arm around Violet, all of them soon falling into easy conversation about their christmas plans.

#galactica #au aag verse #rpdr fanfiction #my fics

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