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chrishemsworthsbitch · 3 months

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I am experiencing jason kelce brainrot and have elected to make that y’alls problem:

I’ve been thinking about this big handsome fucker for the past 3 days and the thoughts are starting to burn a hole in my brain so I’m dumping them here, in poetic (but not like rhyming or whatever) form cuz why not?

First off, this face

This god tier face and beard combo that would have surely convinced the vikings one of their gods walked among them, that would have caused droves of men to fall at his feet in reverence because lo and behold the mighty thor now dwelt with them in harmony and brotherhood

God his fucking body…

His mighty pecs that bulge through even the most tailored of suits, so voluptuous and heavy, gazing upon them one would think they were carved from cold unfeeling marble and adorned with hair sharp as needles

Yet the appearance is deceptive for they are soft and warm, squishy so as to not hurt those who suckle upon them (me), and his chest hair is soothing to the touch like running your hands across a field of delicate flowers

and the belly….oh lord god in heaven the belly

Much like his chest, to the eye it appears hard. A great, strong, and sturdy thing like a rock upon which one would build a house

But to the touch, the oh so gentle touch, it is softer than silk, and warmer than a fire, inviting and full of love, one cannot help but lay their head upon it and sleep knowing they are safe. It’s roundness a sight of great beauty

And then there’s his….

Actually I think I’ll keep those particular thoughts between me and my god (for now anyway, i could always be persuaded to write a sonnet or something…whatever that is)

That’s…most of the thoughts out, see y’all again next time I get it in my head that this is peak comedy (it is don’t lie)

#jason kelce #daddy #daddy milkers #belly #big bear king 🥺#he’s sooooo hot i’m not sorry at all #he’s done so much work for the bear community and I don’t think he knows it #i think he’s hotter than travis…by quite a lot #sorry mother i do love him but…yeah 😭#the real Big Yeti #and 25% just to make oomf laugh #i wrote this 75% cuz i mean it from the bottom of my heart #and oomf knows who he is

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yeongwonie · 2 years

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STUPID CUPID! — park sunghoon

SYNOPSIS. alone on valentine's day, you decide to sign up for the student council's fundraiser: a matchmaking survey, hoping to at least get a few laughs out of the whole ordeal. little do you know, park sunghoon (your archenemy since junior high) has the same idea. but it's fine! your student body president, kim sunoo, would never tamper with the matching system, right?

PAIRING. park sunghoon x f!reader

TAGS. enemies to lovers, matchmaking

WARNINGS. cursing, i'm not funny, slow burn, minimal d!ck jokes (+ more specific warnings will be added to each chapter!)

FT. enhypen, txt's soobin and hueningkai, itzy's ryujin and chaeryeong

STATUS. completed! (02/20-06/04)

NOTE. first smau hehe i'm excited!! timestamps and dates are accurate to the story but u don't have to pay attention to them! send an ask to be tagged :)

PLAYLIST.

00 — prologue (0.4k)

profiles pt. 1 | profiles pt. 2

01 — we need money

02 — you're what?

03 — hey soulmate

04 — just got whiplash

05 — (no one believes u!!!!)

06 — "future gf"

07 — sunghoon sympathizer

08 — like a pokemon

09 — happy anniversary (+ 1.5k)

10 — nervous aura

11 — at the end of my rope

12 — On my way! (+ 0.8k)

13 — he almost felt bad!

14 — sunoo senses

15 — hypothetically

16 — jake's detective era

17 — top secret confidential

18 — freaking tf out

19 — deep breaths, jungwon

20 — the anti-sunghoon militia

21 — making promises

22 — all (wo)men do is lie

23 — google, why can't i sleep?

24 — a weird coincidence (+ 0.9k)

25 — women's history year

26 — sunghoon redemption arc?

27 — i 85% forgive you

28 — dance battle!

29 — rehearsal (+ 1.4k)

30 — stage one: denial

31 — love is such a strong word

32 — this is all metaphorical

33 — like it was (+ 1.2k)

34 — seafood luvrs

35 — nobody nobody nobody

36 — unsolicited advice

37 — what you wanted (+ 1.9k)

38 — dark and mysterious

39 — mental fortitude

40 — hey sunghoon

41 — fluffy white dog contest

42 — the friend zone

43 — double meanings

44 — hey past self!

45 — act surprised

46 — i think you should yolo it

47 — platonic lunch date (+ 1.2k)

48 — one of the oomfs

49 — we don't work together (+ 0.8k)

50 — stupid cupid! (+ 1.1k)

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ofstarsandvibranium · 7 years

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Say You Won’t Let Go

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Based off of James Arthur’s song “Say You Won’t Let Go”.

A/N: This song gave me huge Bucky feels when I first listened to it. So here you go. Also, this is pretty lengthy, so bear with me.

Warning: mentions of depression

Your best friend, Bucky, well…he was in a dark place. Now that’s not uncommon for college students. Statistics show that it’s very common for young adults ranging from 18 to 25 to fall into a depression. Bucky was one of those young adults.

He felt like he wasn’t good enough. He was struggling to get by, academically and financially. He started to lack motivation in going to classes and getting out of bed. He just wanted to sleep the days away.

But you were having none of it. During some of his darkest days, you were there to light him up. Although it didn’t really make the depression go away, it made him forget the pain with the constant temporary moments of happiness.

You came bursting into his apartment, “Luuuucyyy, I’m hoooome!” You announced. You dropped your bag and keys onto a nearby table and listened for any sign of Bucky. He was probably in his room. So you briskly walked over there and cautiously opened the door. Bucky was sprawled out on his bed staring at the ceiling. You ran over to him and plopped your entire being onto his stomach.

“Oomf! Whyyyy?” Bucky whined.

“Happy birthday, you dork.”

Bucky sighed and mumbled, “Thanks.”

You climbed off him and made your way to his closet looking through his clothes, “Let’s get you dressed. I have plans for you.”

Bucky groaned, “Can’t we just stay here and watch tv or something?”

You scoffed, “Psh. No. We’re going out.” You picked out a white t-shirt, black jeans, and Bucky’s favorite black leather jacket. You threw them at him, “Get ready. We’re leaving in ten.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

You ended up bringing Bucky to Steve’s apartment where you and he had planned Bucky's surprise party. When everyone jumped out, Bucky’s eyes lit up and a genuine smile appeared on his face.

Bucky looked to you with shining eyes, “You did this?”

You nodded, “Yeah, well, and Steve too. No one should spend their birthday alone. It should be with people that care about you. And Bucky, all these people do care about you.”

Bucky pulled you into his arms and whispered a ‘Thank you’ into your ear.

Bucky helped bring in your drunk form into your apartment. He was drunk, but not as drunk as you. You were giggling and staggering, “Hehehe. Did you *hiccup* have fun Buckaroo?”

Bucky softly laughed, “Yeah, but not as fun as you did. I should’ve kept an eye on you.”

You drunkenly waved him off, “Psh. I’m fine and dandy like cotton candy, Mandy.”

“Let’s get you to the bathroom.” As soon as you entered the room, you went head first to the toilet hurling your guts out. Bucky sighed grabbing your hair and pulling it back so it’s not in the way. He gave you soothing rubs on your back. Once you were done, you wiped your mouth with toilet paper. You looked over your shoulder, smiling at Bucky.

“Thank you.”

For some reason, Bucky suddenly felt completely sober. He smiled back at you, “You’re welcome.” He helped you stand and handed you the mouth wash, “Go ahead and brush your teeth. I’ll be back.” He left you to go to your kitchen to get a glass of water and some aspirin. He set the two on your bedside table and sat on your bed waiting for you.

You came out of the bathroom with your face clear of makeup, teeth brushed, and you had a tired look in your eyes. You undressed yourself not caring that Bucky was there and threw on an old t-shirt. You slid into bed and gave a hum of content.

Bucky kissed you on the head, “Go ahead and rest.” He stood to leave, but you caught his arm.

“Can you stay over?”

Without hesitation, Bucky said, “Of course.” He discarded his leather jacket and shoes, and slid into bed with you. You scoot closer resting your head against his chest and slinging an arm over his stomach.

“Thank you.” You mumbled.

Bucky gave you another kiss on the head, “Get some rest, sweetheart.” You listened to Bucky’s heartbeat lulling you to sleep.

Bucky stayed awake a little longer waiting for your breathing to even out. He gave a long deep sigh. He loved you. He appreciated you. He adored you. But you’d never know, because he acted so cool about it. In reality, he was scared of somehow losing you and letting you go.

Bucky knew he needed you, desperately, but he never showed it. He knew that he wanted you by his side ‘til both of you were grey and old.

10 Years Later

“Baby. Baby, wake up.” You heard a voice bring you out from your sleep.

“Hm?” You ungracefully turned in bed from your stomach to your back. Your hair was in your face. You rubbed your eyes and sat up.

Bucky stood at the edge of the bed carrying a tray of breakfast. He gave you a shy smile whilst setting the tray on your lap, “The queen’s feast.”

You gave him a tired smile, “Thank you.”

Bucky left quickly and came back with a cup of coffee. He handed it to you and kissed your head, “I’ll be back. Gotta bring Stephanie and Becca to school.”

You nodded and bit into your toast.

“Come on, girls!” The two little girls grabbed their backpacks and ran out the door to car.

They buckled themselves in. 6 year old Stephanie, with her brunette pigtails and blue eyes sat excitedly on her booster chair, “Daddy! It’s show and tell today!”

Bucky helped 5 year old Becca, with her Y/H/C and Y/E/C, into her carseat, “Oh yeah? Whatcha bringing?”

“The picture of us when we went to Disneyland!”

“Disneyland!” Becca exclaimed. Bucky finished up and hopped into the driver’s seat. He drove the couple blocks to the elementary school dropping them off at the drop-off.

“Bye Daddy!” his little girls shouted.

“Bye babies!” He yelled back waving them good-bye. Bucky always felt his heart skip a beat whenever he brought his girls to school. He felt so thankful of the nights he spent with you conceiving them. Bringing the loves of his life into existence.

Bucky came home and you were in the living room on the couch checking your emails on your phone. When you heard the door shut, you looked over your shoulder and gave Bucky that heart-stopping smile.

For a minute, Bucky forgot he was older and he felt like he was a college student again. You gave him that feeling of when he first realized he loved you.

“Doll, can you stand up for me real quick?”

You gave him a confused look, “Sure, but why?”

“I just-I wanna dance with you right now.”

You giggled, “All you had to do was say so.”

You made your way to him and slipped your arms around his neck. His hands resting on your waist. You two danced to nothing but the music in your heads looking lovingly in each other’s eyes.

“You’re as beautiful as ever.” Bucky whispered.

You rolled your eyes, “Don’t flatter me, James.”

Bucky laughed, “It’s true. It’s like every day you get better. And you make me feel this sort of way somehow.” He brought a hand to your cheek and gently caressed it, “I’m so in love with you. I hope you know that. Your love is worth more than all the gold in the world. We’ve come so far from college to now. We’ve grown so much and I can’t wait to grow more with you until we’re grey and old.”

“Bucky-” He leaned down and captured you with his lips. Both of your hearts soaring. “I love you so much,” you mumbled against his lips.

60 Years Later

Both of you have lived long and happy lives. Still even as old and wrinkly as you two were, you still found each other to be as beautiful and handsome as ever. But both of your guy’s health was wavering.

“Doll,” Bucky breathed out as he laid next to you in bed, “I still wanna be with you even when we’re ghosts. Cause when I needed you the most, you were there for me.”

“Bucky-”

“I’m gonna love you still my lungs give out or my heart stops. ‘Til death do us part, remember?”

You looked at him, fear in your eyes, “Don’t go. Not yet.”

Bucky felt his heart beat becoming slower and slower, “I’ll be waiting for you. Just say you won’t let go.”

“I won’t let go. But Bucky, James, please. Don't-not yet.” You held onto Bucky’s hand tightly.

“Gimme one last kiss.” You scoot closer giving Bucky his final kiss, sobbing into his lips. Bucky gave you one last smile, “I love you, doll.” His grasp became limp in your hand.

Later in the morning, your daughters found you and Bucky in bed. Both passed away, but still holding each other’s hands. You promised you wouldn’t let go. And you didn’t.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #marvel

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