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moggieblanket-blog · 6 years

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Aces in LGBT Spaces

I’m an aromantic asexual. I look at conventionally “attractive” people the same way I view a sack of potatoes; with indifference. For a very long time, I thought there was something wrong with me because I recoiled at sex scenes on TV, skipped past large chunks of text in novels that involved romantic attraction, and remained in a state of permanent confusion in high school when everyone was running around dating each other, but, according to our conversations, seemed permanently miserable as a result. I blamed this apparent failing of mine on my autism, on my PTSD, on my parents’ divorce. I was convinced there was something fundamentally broken in me, and that no one else felt like I did.

When I learned about the term “asexual” in my early twenties, I was ecstatic. Finally there was a name for this thing that made me odd. It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t give my then-boyfriend what he wanted physically and emotionally, I wasn’t a failure as a girlfriend, and it wasn’t that I wasn’t putting enough effort into our couples therapy, I just wasn’t attracted to him. Or to anyone. And for the first time, I realized that was okay. I’d gotten into the relationship because everyone kept telling me I couldn’t know that I disliked it if I’d never tried it, but now I knew, and I wasn’t alone. I was a member of the LGBT community. Or so I thought.

It wasn’t until recently that I learned about the term “exclusionist”, about other LGBT people believing that asexuals don’t belong in the community because they aren’t “oppressed enough”. When I heard that, I felt sad, like this place I’d found that made me feel better about who I was, thought I was just as big a freak as the straight cis community did. If even the island of misfit toys wouldn’t have me, there must really be something irredeemably wrong with me. I was the outcast that the outcasts rejected.

To those of you who say we don’t belong, I beg your indulgence as I plead my case. Just because we don’t have the brutal and ugly history of violence, persecution and intolerance that traditionally gay or transgendered people have, doesn’t mean we haven’t and don’t suffer. No, our suffering is not as severe as yours, but I never believed that this community could be one that played the “I’m more oppressed than you” game.

As asexuals, we do not face hatred, but we do face invisibility. No one sees us, no one believes us. We have never been represented in books or the media. When we tell people we’re asexual, we are met with blank stares and the invariable question, ““what’s that?” The notion that a person could be disinterested in, and uncomfortable around, sex and romance is completely outside the scope of awareness of society as a whole. Sex and romance are integral parts of everything we see on TV and in books. No one ever just stays friends, inevitably romance will blossom because that is the default (many believe the only) logical progression.

It is an incredibly isolating experience to see no trace of one’s identity acknowledged anywhere in either historic or modern culture. It makes one feel as if there really is something fundamentally wrong with the way we are, because the only message we ever receive from the world is, “everyone invariably likes sex, and everyone always falls in love, there is no alternative.”

Not only are we ignored and rendered invisible, when we come out to our friends and family, we are never taken seriously. My mother laughed and asked me if I was an amoeba. My father told me I couldn’t be asexual because I hadn’t had enough dating experience, and when I told him I know how I feel about sex and romance, he said, “I don’t think you do.” I am twenty-five years old, and my father believes I don’t understand my own emotions enough to determine my sexuality. I pointed out that no one told my younger sister that she couldn’t be straight because she didn’t have enough dating experience. They accepted her orientation at face value, because it matched the narrative we have all been told since birth.

The point of all of this is to say that, humbly, I believe asexuals deserve a place in the LGBT community, because it is the safe, welcoming place that takes in people who are hurting when they have nowhere else to go. The Statue of Liberty doesn’t say, “send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, but only those who I deem to be exhausted and impoverished enough”. It accepts every struggling waif and stray who needs a home, and I can’t help but feel that the LGBT community should be the same way, accepting of everyone who feels, by the nature of their sexuality, that they have been left out in the cold.

#asexuality #ace #exclusion #lgbt

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syrupwit · 5 years

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Just Married Exchange 2019 Letter

WARNING: CONTAINS AVENGERS: ENDGAME SPOILERS

Hello, and welcome to my letter for Just Married Exchange 2019! Thank you very much for considering creating a fanwork for me. This letter is intended to provide optional details and potential inspiration; my primary intention in writing it is to make things easier for my assigned creator. If it’s not doing that for you, please feel free to disregard it.

My AO3 profile is here.

For this exchange, I’ve requested fic only for the following fandoms and pairings, divided into themed sections for ease of browsing:

Dishonored: Corvo Attano/Delilah Copperspoon, Delilah Copperspoon/Emily Kaldwin

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Peter Parker/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/2012!Tony Stark [Endgame spoilers]

The Umbrella Academy: Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves

DNW / DO NOT WANT

Hopeless or unremittingly dark endings

Rape/non-con

Underage sex

Non-canonical permanent major character death

Onscreen animal harm/death (referenced/implied nonspecific death is fine)

Onscreen child abuse (referenced/implied past abuse is fine)

Bestiality, necrophilia, scat, permanent non-canonical significant body modification

Characters in requested romantic ships being written as asexual/aromantic

Character or ship bashing

GENERAL LIKES

Humor: ludicrous/cracky premises treated seriously or unseriously; comedic action sequences; comedy of errors; hijinks; absurdity; gallows humor.

Romance: first times; get-together; pining; friends to lovers; enemies to lovers; UST; belligerent sexual tension; flirting, especially when one character doesn’t think the other is being serious; flirting in established relationships; possessiveness and jealousy without entitlement.

Action/Adventure: time travel; interdimensional/multiverse travel; escaping from captivity together; camaraderie, teamwork, unusual team-ups; missions/cases and snippets thereof; undercover as XYZ; identity porn; road trips of the terrestrial, extraterrestrial, aquatic, and supernatural varieties; space travel; visiting other planets; wilderness survival; climactic warehouse confrontations; wacky foes/locations/circumstances for battles; bar fights.

Smut: characters feeling overwhelmed; lots of emotions; awkwardness; praise kink; unexpectedly compatible; kink discovery/exploration; characters being really into their partner and/or what they’re doing and/or how into what they’re doing their partner is. I will read pretty much any kink besides my DNWs if the characters are jazzed about being together and doing the specific act(s).

Miscellany: atmosphere, mood, immediacy; character studies; missing moments; surrealism; slice of life; domesticity; appetizing descriptions of food; diners; carnivals; big scary buildings with tragic histories; mansions; abandoned mansions; secluded or remote locations; forests; beaches; holidays; seasons; weather; thunderstorms; getting caught in the rain.

DISHONORED

Corvo Attano/Delilah Copperspoon Delilah Copperspoon/Emily Kaldwin

Delilah! She's the best/worst. What if her coup in Dishonored 2 taken a slightly different approach? Alternately, what if she'd shown up earlier to claim the throne? I'm tickled by her creeping on Corvo as the Heart and her tension with both Corvo and Emily. I'm fine with UST or weird feelings/foe-yay instead of straight-up romance for both pairings.

Please note that I love these games + world/lore and am spoiled for everything.

Freeforms Requested:

Disastrously Incompatible Political Marriage: Because it so would be. How might future history books characterize a Corvo/Delilah or Delilah/Emily co-rulership? What about journalism of the day? How would they fare resolving problems in the empire? Diplomacy? Daily life? Or maybe they suck as co-rulers, but unexpectedly discover that they’re okay at fighting together or living an average life?

Disastrous Wedding Ceremony Everyone Will Gossip About For Years: PLEASE. How rushed or drawn-out was the wedding planning? Has one of them been trying to sabotage the ceremony with clashing decor choices, or perhaps with murder? ...Does the Outsider crash the reception?

Is my spouse trying to kill me | Someone's trying to kill me and I think it's my spouse: Grouped together for being thematically similar. I feel like Delilah is a more likely candidate for the role of spouse-attempting-murder, but I’m intrigued by the reverse as well.

Marriage is Interrupted by an Assassination Attempt and they Continue After they Take Care of Them | planned assassination during wedding night goes wrong: Again, grouped together for thematic similarities. Who hired the poor assassins? If Delilah or Corvo / Emily end up having to use their powers, how do they deal with the aftermath?

.[Buffer space for Endgame spoilers below!]

MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

Peter Parker/Tony Stark 2012!Tony Stark/Peter Parker

Wooooo! \m/ This is my MCU OTP at the moment. I adore their mutual importance to each other, their easy teamwork and camaraderie despite the age gap, and the potential for ANGST ANGST ANGST and pining as well as humor and fluff. I love stuff where they’ve been pining mutually and self-awarely for a long time, but also stuff where one or both parties don’t realize their feelings until XYZ catalyst forces them to.

Please note that my underage DNW does apply here, although UST and feelings/pining while Peter is underage are fine with me.

I'm totally down with Infinity War / Endgame compliance or canon divergence AUs (e.g., the universe where Thanos disappeared in 2014, AUs where they defeated Thanos in IW, Civil War was resolved without Tony recruiting Peter, etc.). Please feel free to run with the freeforms as-is, or check out the expansions and prompts below.

Freeforms Requested:

Accidental Travel to an Alternate Universe With an Unexpected Spouse | Permanently Transported To Alternate Universe Where They're Married To Person Who Is Dead In Theirs | Temporarily Transported To Alternate Universe Where They're Married To Person Who Is Dead In Theirs: I’m intrigued by the idea of Peter traveling to an alternate universe where he’s somehow married to Tony, but also by the idea of Tony -- post-IW Tony, perhaps -- stumbling on a world where he’s married to Peter, perhaps in the course of trying to reverse the Snap.

Trapped In Fake Perfect World That Includes Marriage They Don't Believe They Can Ever Really Have: Oh no! Who’s trapped? Who’s the fake perfect spouse? What compels the trapped party to give up the fake perfect world, and how difficult is it and why?

Always Married to Same Person When You Dream | Marriage within dreams becomes real: Is the dreamer pining, mourning, or experiencing a more complicated situation (e.g., a spell, meetings on the astral plane, meetings in a temporary afterlife, meetings in a space between universes, premonitions of a breach between universes, etc.)? I am very fond of dreams and surreality in fic, so I would love to see that sort of atmosphere incorporated too if it floats your boat.

Aliens Make Them Get Married: YESSSSS. Whatever the justification, I love this trope.

Characters Keep "Forgetting" to Annul Accidental Marriage | Series of Mishaps Prevent Annulment of Accidental Marriage: This seems like it could be hilarious. :D

Carried Over The Threshold: I just really like this image! Though I’m partial to Peter carrying Tony, the other way around appeals to me too.

.[Buffer space for Endgame spoilers above!]

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves

I will admit I wasn’t sold on Allison/Luther during my first viewing of the series, but subsequent viewings have decidedly awoken me to their charm. I’m super interested in the idea of an incongruously sweet connection arising from the fucked-up-ness of their upbringing, and in exploring how that connection carries over into their adult lives.

Allison became a superstar; Luther spent four years alone on the moon. How did they part, back when the siblings went their separate ways as young adults? Where was Luther during Allison’s wedding? How did Allison learn what happened to him? Did they keep in touch directly, or just hear about each other incidentally from the people they did maintain contact with?

If you can tell from the selected freeforms, I am here for tropey fluff and angst for this pairing. I also really like canon divergent AUs -- The Day That Wasn’t, handwavey “we averted the apocalypse after all” AUs, for want of a nail, etc. -- and futurefic. I enjoy Claire and would love to see her meet Luther. In general, though, I’d just like to explore these two more.

Note: I would prefer that any fic written for me in this exchange not focus more than briefly on the incest aspect of this pairing. Outsiders can be horrified that the adopted siblings are getting it on, but the Hargreeves children don’t seem to care a lot in-universe, and I’d like it to stay that way in fic.

Freeforms Requested:

Asking someone to be their witness

Character fantasizes about getting married

Crying With Happiness During Wedding

Wedding Fluff | Wedding Planning | Something Old Something New Something Borrowed Something Blue

Crashing a Wedding to Prevent a Bad Marriage | Crashing A Wedding So Character Can Marry One Of The Participants Instead | Objecting during the marriage ceremony

Road Trip Honeymoon | Road Trip to Marriage Ceremony

Trapped In Fake Perfect World That Includes Marriage They Don't Believe They Can Ever Really Have

Undercover as Married While Mutually Pining

Time Loop Can Only Be Ended Through Marriage

Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves

So. Five is a dick to everyone, but he’s slightly less of a dick to Vanya. What’s up with that? Or: How close were they as kids, and how might they reconnect as adults?

I’m really interested in how a relationship might develop between these two in a future fic or canon divergence AU. Maybe Five only zapped forward in time for a little while, or was able to return at an earlier point in time than 2019? Maybe Vanya was able to learn to control her powers as a child and grew up as a participating member of the Academy? Maybe -- maybe! -- the siblings managed to avert the apocalypse, and they’re adjusting to life together in the aftermath? I don’t know! I’m interested in all kinds of things.

I love the idea of Vanya and Five as a battle couple or married coworkers, and of them getting together while on a case/mission. A while ago, someone on FFA brought up the idea of them undercover fake married in 1950s suburbia, and I am SO into that -- both the specific setting, and the concept of Five/Vanya going undercover as a fake married couple in various eras/locations.

Please be advised that my underage DNW includes Five having sex while in his younger body. UST is fine, but I’d like Five to physically be an adult for any sexual situations.

Freeforms Requested:

Blood-Splattered Wedding Dress

Fake Marriage Results in Surprise Real Feelings | Obviously Fake Marriage Leads To Third Party Realizing Their Feelings For Half the Couple

Pretending to be married to access information

Undercover as Married | Undercover as Married Leads to Unexpected Feelings | Undercover as Married While Mutually Pining

Honeymoon Heist | Road Trip Honeymoon | Working While on Your Honeymoon

Time Travel Backward To Fix The Past Also Results In Unexpectedly Getting Married

#optional detailed letters for exchanges tag

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