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elysianslove · 3 years

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first of all can i just say congrats on the 500 like i'm so happy for you and you absolutely deserve it (huge bear hug :) ) now i had this crazy hcs idea and i immediately thought of you so long story short how would Karasuno , Aoba Johsai and Nekoma react to their sweet manager having powers similar to those of scarlet witch (marvel) or mirajane strauss (fairytail anime) feel free to pick whichever one is easier and thank you so much for indulging my crazy request. love u lots - safiyah <3333

oh my goodness thank you sm for your words here’s a bear hug <3 also also i was literally just thinking just how cool it would be to have like a supernatural au haikyuu thing and then you send me this wow we on some mind reading shit. anyways i really hope you like this. sorry it’s like hq on crack if you want a serious one lemme know hsjkhsk

karasuno high

they lose their shit.

every single one of them.

mentally they’re all like 12 (except daichi and mqybe ennoshita) so i definitely think they’d have a very childish reaction to it.

it’s so endearing though.

they find out while walking you home one night: it’s very stormy and they just wanted to make sure you get home safe because they worship the ground you walk on. cue like a fucking billboard nearly falling on you and the group of boys and your instincts just kick in and you stop it mid air.

noya’s still screaming even after everyone’s just gone silent and is gawking at the fact a billboard (or whatever the object is i can’t think rip) is hovering above them. in mid air. because of you. what the fuck?

daichi’s blood pressure drops he’s like somebody catch me im about to faint wtf is going on.

you kinda freak and just toss it away and run your way back home, as far away from the boys as possible.

but alas, you’re their manager, and you have duties to fulfill. so you show up to practice the next morning terrified for your life.

you’re not really sure why you’re so scared and nervous. you just are? it’s a huge part of who you are and it’d be a big bummer if the most important boys in your life didn’t accept it.

noya greets you with a really big hug

tanaka’s so loud but what’s new <3

daichi and suga just come up to you and gently ask if you’re okay because you ran off so quick yesterday

they all act super normal during practice but you can tell

you can tell

they want to ask so many questions they’re gonna explode

after practice, when coach ukai and takeda leave, and it’s just you, kiyoko, and the boys, it’s s o quiet. you would hear a pin drop.

you just sigh and go “you can ask”

your poor eardrums </3

they’re so fascinated by everything you say

kiyoko’s like “i had a hunch” like how do u have a hunch about something like this anyways what a queen

noya’s like “make me fly”

and tsukki in the back “drop him on his ass pls”

they definitely make you do so many things for them with it

cleaning duty is now on you because hello !! you can move things with your mind !!

kags doesn’t get it. he’s like. ok? and ? i can set volleyballs perfectly, hinata can jump really high despite his height, she can move things with her mind? so what?

i love him

they’re also crazy good at keeping it a secret?

not hinata tho he slips up so often like thank god the secret isn’t realistic or believable

he’ll be like “oh yeah? well our manager can move things with her mind!”

and suga just has to usher him away with a pained smile like “yeah she’s so incredible haha” while doing that thing moms do where they squeeze or pinch your shoulder if they’re mad at you in public

it feels like a weight lifted off your shoulders when they find out because the closer you grew to these boys, the more they felt like family to you.

aoba johsai

my favorite team

i hc makki as someone that smokes weed. pls don’t try to convince me otherwise. look at him. he’s a pothead <3

this is going somewhere i swear.

so you’re a 3rd year manager, meaning you’ve been with these boys a while now, specifically the third years of the team, so y’all are pretty close.

how they find out: it’s like 3am on a weekend, the seijoh 4 and some of the second years. you’d baked a cake with like all of them all at once in the kitchen, so it was now a mess, so you’re attempting to clean it up as fast as you can the way you know best — with your hands and your mind. makki walks in, high as shit, sees this and just.

“damn must be the weed.”

you don’t hear him. so. uh oh.

he was probably sent there by iwa to get water or something, so iwaizumi walks in and just yells so loud “what the fuck!”

it’s like they’re all summoned by this. they eventually all pile into the kitchen and you’re literally just frozen in fear with pots and pans and utensils and specks of flour hovering by you. and then you maintain eye contact with iwa as you lift one hand and direct the pans into a cupboard and slowly shut it.

“so it’s not the weed?”

they honestly. don’t act any different tbh

it’s like an added feature of yours that they appreciate.

oikawa asks you to read his mind to test if what happened that night was real and you just lift him up from off his seat.

“i asked you to read my mind tho hm”

yeah mind reading is just a regular thing now. they will slyly ask you to read the other team’s minds during a match and you’re like no that’s cheating. but you do. and you subtlety give them advice. like “hm i wonder if that team’s gonna do this specific attack”

also oikawa asks (read:begs) u to like help them make it through to nationals

you say “will it feel like a true accomplishment if i do?”

shuts his pretty face up <3

they also make you like. toss volleyballs to them. but with your mind. multiple of them. they take it as some stupid challenge idk these boys are dumb i love them

they also love throwing things at. YOU. LIKE WTF?

like haha dodgeball but it’s a group of 6’0+ athletes against just. you.

sounds fair

they also become insanely protective of you after they find out. idk how that clicks w them but. yes.

especially mattsun and iwa ? like men. relax.

anyways they would abuse the shit out of your powers genuinely but it’s okay it’s out of love <3

nekoma high

they. they’re idiots. all of them.

kuroo would probably be like but scientifically ! this makes zero sense

omg kenma would lose his MIND.

HES A GAMER BRUH

HED BE OBSESSED W YOU.

but lowkey bc none of that simp shit </3

ooou okay so you’re at a training camp and they sneak you in with them so you guys can play truth or dare

bc yk. you’re kids.

and y’all are going around and you just pick truth and someone asks what’s the biggest secret you’ve ever kept from us and they expect some dirty shit they’re nasty smh

and then you straight up go “i can move things w my mind”

and theyre like ok miss stop playin fr

keep in mind it’s dark as hell in the dormitory and eerily quiet and you shift one of the chairs in there, and it squeaks loudly

yamamoto jumps and looks at you w so much fear in his eyes. “that wasn’t you”

“bet?”

and then suddenly all chairs are moving all at once and yamamato deadass screams

kuroo’s shrugging like. “it’s just the wind,” like ur not in a closed off room w all the windows shut whatever u say sir <3

lev’s like

gone into shock. seriously someone go get him water or something.

when morning comes they’re all like hella scared to approach you except kenma and kuroo bc kenma— is in awe. kuroo — does not believe it.

you’re kinda :( that they’re scared of you and you approach them after the day is over and just apologize, and tell them you didn’t mean to scare them and that you’d never hurt them or even consider it.

they do a 180 bruh they just all go “awwwwww” and suffocate you in a group hug so you shove them all off for good measure lmao

kuroo still doesn’t believe it until you save his ass in broad daylight and he’s like ok maybe it wasn’t fake so what sue me

whenever there are training camps where other schools come they beg u to help them prank the boys

especially bokuto and hinata

and you do obviously

it’s hilarious watching them scream as something moves slightly. you never do it that it’s suspicious just enough to be like did that happen or is my mind messing w me rn

scarlet witch also has the ability to mess w people’s mind in the literal sense and whenever one of the boys pisses you off particularly you just make them see their biggest fear

kenma asks you to reenact some of his favorite gameplays for him

it’s literally just roleplay and you couldn’t care less someone catches the two of you you’re no pussy you can admit when you’re having fun

overall a very chaotic reaction

they don’t treat you any different they’re just like 100x more hyped about who you are. like the fact that you’re their manager is already a blessing and now this !!!

incredible <3333

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #karasuno x reader #aoba johsai x reader #nekoma x reader #haikyuu au

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beginagainunsolved · 4 years

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RYAN: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we look into the mysterious circumstances behind the ratification of the Sokovia Accords, and the unsolved mystery of what really brought an end to one of the most prolific superhero teams of all time.

SHANE: The Power Pack broke up?

RYAN: Really? You think the Power Pack is the most --- You know what? I’m not doing this with you today. Let’s just get started.

RYAN, NARRATION: In early 2016, Steve Rogers took a team of newly minted Avengers on a covert mission in Lagos, Nigeria.

SHANE: What was the mission?

RYAN: I don’t know.

SHANE: What? What do you mean you don’t know?

RYAN: I mean SHIELD doesn’t really tell people about their missions ---

SHANE: Did you even ask?

RYAN: Did I even --- Who was I going to ask?

SHANE: The eyepatch guy.

RYAN: You want me to ask Nick Fury about SHIELD missions?

SHANE: Or the arrow guy. I feel like the arrow guy would tell you.

RYAN: He probably would.

RYAN, NARRATION: While the original scope of the mission remains unclear, what happened next has gone down in history as one of the biggest superhero failures of our lifetime. An enemy agent triggered a vest bomb and, in an attempt to save her team, Wanda Maximoff, better known as the Scarlet Witch, levitated the man up into the air. It is unclear if it was a miscalculation on Maximoff’s part or if she was just too slow, but the bomb detonated before the agent was above the skyline, taking out the entire seventh floor of a nearby hotel and killing at least eleven people.

SHANE: Well.

RYAN: Yeah, that’s not --- It wasn’t great, Shane.

SHANE: No, not the best. It’s --- I keep saying, this is why math is ---

RYAN: Do not talk about math right now. People have suffered enough without you talking about math.

SHANE: I’m just saying, she could’ve --- a little bit of math might have ---

RYAN: No.

RYAN, NARRATION: The devastation of the explosion in Lagos came not long after a recently famous failure in Sokovia ---

SHANE: Evil robots.

RYAN: (wheeze) Yeah --- Yeah, there were evil robots. They were (wheeze) They were objectively terrible, but ---

(both laugh)

SHANE: Ridiculous, in hindsight. Evil robots. That’s --- Will Smith has made that movie eighty-seven times, Ryan.

RYAN: And you saw every one of them in theaters.

SHANE: I did.

RYAN, NARRATION: The devastation of the explosion in Lagos came not long after a recently famous failure in Sokovia, leading the United Nations to believe superheroes, as a whole, required regulation.

RYAN: Now, I don’t know if you have ---

SHANE: They were right.

RYAN: What?

SHANE: No, I mean --- They make a good point, Ryan!

RYAN: Not what I would have expected you to come back with.

SHANE: If the unsolved mystery here is whether or not superheroes need regulation, can I just say ---

RYAN: That’s not ---

SHANE: --- I solved it! They do.

RYAN: (wheeze) You’re going to make Magneto kill us.

SHANE: Frankly, Ryan, I would love to be killed by Magneto.

RYAN: You know what? You’re right. I mean, it’s ---

BOTH: It’s the coolest way to die!

RYAN NARRATION: This is where things get a little dicey. Records show that, while several members of the Avengers team signed the proposed registration form — the Sokovia Accords — right away, others’ names never appeared on the list at all.

SHANE: Ole Mr. America was feeling ornery that day. I know this story.

RYAN: Please don’t call Captain America ‘Ole Mr. America.’ I don’t want to get sued.

SHANE: How’s he gonna sue us? He’s a war criminal! What, he’s gonna --- he’s gonna get a lawyer? Take us to court? Nah, Ryan. He’d be arrested on the spot. We’re invincible.

RYAN: I don’t think we’re invincible.

SHANE: (shouting) We’re invincible, baby!

RYAN, NARRATION: A few days after the Avengers were presented with the Accords, several heads of state gathered in Vienna to discuss them. It is at this point that a bomb went off, ripping through the UN building and killing several prominent heads of state, including then-king of Wakanda, T’Chaka.

SHANE: Aw.

RYAN: Yeah, it’s --- it’s not a happy story.

SHANE: Why don’t we ever cover happy stories, Ryan? I want an unsolved mystery where a kid just --- a kid gets handed candy, and he ---

RYAN: --- You want us to do an episode about a --- a mysterious, uh, candyman?

SHANE: … No. No, because there’s --- there’s no way that wouldn’t end up being something creepy, is there?

RYAN: No, there isn’t.

SHANE: This sucks, Ryan! This sucks.

RYAN, NARRATION: Officially, the bomb was attributed to the Winter Soldier, a famous assassin whose identity has never been released to the public. However, there is some doubt as to whether or not this mysterious figure was the real bomber.

SHANE: Stop it.

RYAN: Stop what?

SHANE: You’ve got your conspiracy hat on, Ryan, and it’s unsettling. You need better hats. It’s embarrassing.

RYAN: Fuck you!

RYAN, NARRATION: The rest of the story, as far as public record goes, is fuzzy. It appears that the Winter Soldier was taken into custody at one point, but he promptly escaped.

SHANE: (wheeze)

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: ‘Oh we --- we got him! We did it boys! We --- fuck he’s gone.’

RYAN: It doesn’t really inspire confidence, does it?

SHANE: They arrested him for two minutes, Ryan.

RYAN: It was a nice two minutes!

SHANE: He spent a minute and thirty seconds of it escaping.

RYAN: But they had --- they had a solid grip on him for thirty seconds.

SHANE: That’s true!

RYAN, NARRATION: It’s at this point that the Avengers appeared to split off into two factions. One side, led by Tony Stark, favored the Accords. The other, led by Steve Rogers, opposed it.

RYAN: So, you would have been on Iron Man’s side.

SHANE: I’ll take it. He’s rich!

RYAN: I’m pretty sure he didn’t pay everyone who agreed with him.

SHANE: Maybe if he had, the Avengers wouldn’t have broken up!

RYAN: (wheeze) Maybe!

RYAN, NARRATION: The two leaders and their respective teams faced off in Germany, where an altercation lead to the entirety of Rogers’s team minus Rogers himself and the Winter Soldier, who appeared to join forces with Rogers at some point during the aftermath of his escape, to be arrested and confined in the Raft.

SHANE: (wheeze) That’s not --- That’s not great.

RYAN: (wheeze) Hey guys, join Team Captain America, where everyone but me and my new murder pal go to supermax prison!

SHANE: Another good reason to be Team Iron Man!

RYAN, NARRATION: There appears to have been a secondary confrontation between Iron Man and Captain America, but the details of this are hazy at best. All that can be said for certain is that, at some point, Tony Stark retrieved the shield his father made from Steve Rogers. Sometime later, several members of Captain America’s team escaped from the Raft, leaving only Ant-Man and Hawkeye, who chose to serve out their sentences to avoid going on the run.

SHANE: Well, that was nice of him!

RYAN: Legally, we can’t say Captain America broke his friends out of supermax prison.

SHANE: Who else would have done it, Ryan? A ghost?

RYAN: (wheeze) Maybe it was an ant!

SHANE: Bullshit! I refuse to believe Ant-Man was useful.

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: So, who was responsible for the bomb in Vienna? What happened in Germany? And what happened after? Let’s get into the theories. The first theory is also the simplest: it states that everything happened exactly the way the papers tell it. The Winter Soldier, working for Hydra or another covert organization, bombed the summit in Vienna. This theory goes on to state that Captain America was secretly affiliated with Hydra as a sleeper agent, and betrayed his team in order to help the Winter Soldier escape.

SHANE: Okay, that’s…

RYAN: Bullshit, yeah.

SHANE: You expect me to think that the guy wearing America underpants is a Nazi? I just ---

RYAN: --- He punched Hitler!

SHANE: In the face!

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: Nobody punches Hitler in the face for a cover story! They do it because he’s Hitler! And his face needs punching!

RYAN: Yeah, I don’t think we need to spend a lot of time on this one.

SHANE: Agreed.

RYAN, NARRATION: Our second theory is that the Winter Soldier was not the Vienna bomber, and that Captain America decided to help him fight for his freedom after becoming aware of his innocence. Meanwhile, Tony Stark remained convinced that he was right, leading to the altercation between the two.

SHANE: I’ve gotta say, the idea that two grown men couldn’t use their words is a lame theory, but ---

RYAN: --- It’s still better than ‘Captain America is a Nazi.’

SHANE: Yeah, it’s still better than that.

RYAN: I mean… I could buy this one.

SHANE: You think the guy, the, uh ---

RYAN: --- The Winter Soldier ---

SHANE: The Winter Soldier, yeah! His name is the Winter Soldier, and you think he was just, just a nice misunderstood guy?

RYAN: Maybe!

SHANE: No! Look at him! He’s shady!

RYAN: (wheeze) He does look pretty shady, yeah.

SHANE: A shady dude! There’s no way that guy hasn’t --- hasn’t done a little murder. I mean, he’s --- it’s the hair, Ryan.

RYAN: What if he wore it in a man bun?

SHANE: (wheeze) Like, uh, like the Hipster Soldier?

RYAN: Yeah! Yeah, what if he was the Hipster Soldier?

SHANE: I would believe the Hipster Soldier was innocent.

RYAN: Well, I think you’re going to really like my last theory here ---

SHANE: Oh, no. Ryan, I swear to god, if you say ---

RYAN, NARRATION: The final theory is that Captain America, along with his team, was replaced by a group of shape-shifting aliens who wanted to take out what was arguably the largest obstacle standing between them and the planet --- the Avengers.

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: (deadpan) Frankly, Ryan, I’m just disappointed.

RYAN: We’ve been invaded by aliens! Multiple times!

SHANE: That doesn’t mean everyone you meet is an alien! I mean, we’ve had --- there were killer robots in Sokovia, but that doesn’t mean the toaster’s out to get you.

RYAN: I’m just saying, this is… It’s not the most far fetched ----

SHANE: --- No, it is the most far fetched theory you’ve thrown out today.

RYAN: But not ever?

SHANE: I can’t say it’s the most far fetched theory you’ve ever thrown out. Most of your theories are pretty dumb, Ryan.

RYAN: (wheeze) They’re all well-known, actively discussed theories!

SHANE: Well-known and actively discussed by who? Anyone wearing a tin foil hat is not your friend.

RYAN: You’re just mad you couldn’t find a tin foil hat big enough to fit your head.

SHANE: I would never be mad about that. If anything, I’m relieved. If there was one that would fit me, you would make me wear it. I’m surprised you aren’t wearing one.

RYAN: I’m not a tin foil guy. I’ve told you that before.

SHANE: Sure. Holy water, though…

RYAN: Holy water works!

SHANE: I’m going home.

RYAN, NARRATION: So, what exactly happened to make the Avengers go their separate ways? Was the Winter Soldier really responsible for the bombing in Vienna, or were there other, more sinister groups at play? And what happened in the time between the arrest of Captain America’s team and their escape from the Raft? With any real answers locked tightly in top-secret files, the true story of the fall of the Avengers will remain… unsolved.

WHAT UNSOLVED MYSTERY DO YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT?

#beginagainunsolved #episode: the accords #true crime

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sebeth · 4 years

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Fantastic Four #17

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

“Defeated By Doctor Doom!” by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby

The issue begins where the previous one ended. The Four wave goodbye as Ant-Man launches from the building. Reed apparently built a “little launching platform” for An-Man. I hope it comes with a parachute or else Hank is going “splat” when he lands.

The Four recap the previous issue and Johnny unveils a bit we didn’t see: Johnny was knighted by Princess Pearla. He graciously doesn’t demand that the rest of the team call him “my lord”.

Shouldn’t Sue be the one that was knighted? She is the one that came up with the escape plan.

Reed has invented a gadget: “a highly sensitive radar set, extra sensitive to human flesh covered by steel”, in an attempt to track down Doctor Doom. Or Iron Man. Or one of the dozens of villains that wear armor.

The rest of the team decide to split up and search the city for Doom. Johnny uses “sonar heat waves” to detect “the vibrations of Doom’s steel outer covering”. Not surprisingly, it doesn’t work. How would heat waves even create sonar?!

The team meets up later in the night – they have a social engagement they need to attend.

The lobby of the Baxter Building is crowed with fans of the team. Ben refuses to descend: “I ain’t going down there! Some of ‘em may be the Yancy Street Gang, and I’m liable to get jugged for manslaughter!”

Ben continues: “I wonder if I could talk the mayor into declaring open season on the Yancy Streeters – just for one rip-snortin’ day!”

Yep, Ben’s true arch-enemies: the Yancy Street Gang!

An elderly janitor directs the team to a freight elevator to escape the adoring crowd.

The team leaves the building and splits to go to their respective engagements.

The elderly janitor reveals himself to be Doctor Doom. Reed’s fancy radar devise is a complete failure.

Doom sends “lighter than air robots” after the team. The robots have a marshmallow man-type appearance.

The robots attack Johnny who is on a date with Helen.

Helen is not impressed with these shenanigans: “If this is your idea of a fun evening, Johnny Storm, it isn’t mine! I’m walking home! Goodbye forever!”

Ben’s on a date with Alicia and battles a robot. Fortunately for Ben, Alicia has a calmer reaction and doesn’t stalk off.

Sue’s in the midst of a photoshoot for a U.S. savings bond and can’t ditch the robot – even when she turns invisible.

Reed accepts an honorary degree at a “dignified lecture hall” and is attacked by the robot.

Reed retreats to his lab at the Baxter Building while being pursued by the robot.

Reed regroups with the rest of the team at the Baxter Building and creates a device to deactivate the robots. He deduces Doom is behind the robots.

Doom pursues the next step of his plan: kidnap Alicia Masters.

The team doesn’t realize Alicia’s been kidnapped until it appears as the front-page headline on the Daily Herald. Way to pay attention, team!

Doom appears and warns the team not to interfere with his plans or he will “unleash an illusion-ray upon New York – a ray which will give the entire population mass hallucinations” or “I can drop fast-growing spores upon your unsuspecting city, spores which can grow into giant vines within minutes, vines which will choke off all traffic, all commerce, the very heart of the city itself” and finally, he can do bad things to Alicia.

An offended Reed proclaims: “Does he really think he can threaten us? Does he think anything will stop me from tracking him down, from ridding the world of the threat he poses?”

I can understand why Reed isn’t threatened by Doom. He’s been completely ridiculous up to this point.

Doom sends a “specially prepared tape to Washington, outlining my demands”. One of Doom’s demands is to have “at least a cabinet rank in the government”.

Since when would Doom settle for a cabinet rank? It would be President or nothing! It’s also clear Lee & Kirby haven’t created the country of Latveria at this point.

The United States government reject Doom’s demands causing him to create electrical failures across the United States including “America’s defensive missiles” suddenly “going out of control”. Said loss of control doesn’t seem to result in any actual damage or fatalities.

Reed’s plan of counter-attack involves a serum that temporarily transforms Ben back to his human form in order to penetrate “Doom’s disintegrator defenses”. That doesn’t seem like a great plan.

The team invade Doom’s headquarters, briefly separate, get ensnared in traps, and re-unite.

Doom witnesses this on his monitors. The only member of the team doesn’t see is Sue: “I do not see the girl, but she is unimportant!”

Poor Sue, she receives absolutely no respect.

Johnny reveals he can make “lifelike images” out of his flames and did so to fool Doom. Umm, no, fire doesn’t work that way. Did Stan Lee not know anything about science or just not care?

Sue frees Alicia from her imprisonment and brawls with Doom. She throws Doom across the room: “Don’t forget that I was taught judo by one of the world’s greatest experts: Reed Richards! And in my book, anything you can do, Mister Fantastic can do better!”

I love Sue, a Marvel Silver Age heroine, gets physical with Doom. DC’s most prominent Golden Age/Silver Age heroines – Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Batgirl – were super-strong and/or trained fighters that would brawl with the bad guys. Marvel’s early Silver Age heroines – Sue, the Wasp, Jean Grey, the Scarlet Witch, were all energy manipulators who would fight from a distance. Sue physically fighting Doom is a nice change of pace for Marvel. And Doom deserves it for the dismissive tone he takes with Sue.

However, I have a hard time believing Reed is one of the “greatest experts in the world” at judo. I can accept Reed having some hand to hand combat knowledge due to his time in the armed forces but an expert? I’m sorry but nothing can convince me Reed being dragged away from “science!” to devote the time necessary to become an expert hand to hand combatant.

The rest of the team rampages into the room and Doom bails: “I shall never suffer the humiliation of being captured by the likes of you!”

Ben and Alicia reunite, along with Sue and Reed. Johnny’s done with the sappiness: “What a lot of mush! I don’t blame Doctor Doom for jumping!”

Another medicore appearance by Doctor Doom. He’s appearing way too frequently in the early issues, and it diminishes his threat level.

#Fantastic Four #Doctor Doom #Reed Richards #Susan Richards #Susan Storm #Johnny Storm #Ben Grimm #Alicia Masters #Human Torch #Thing #Invisible Girl #Mister Fantastic #Victor Von Doom

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f4liveblogarchives · 4 years

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Fantastic Four Vol. 1 Annual 1979

Thu Sep 12 2019 [09:09 PM] Wack'd: That's right, 1979, even though it's 1980 [09:09 PM] Umbramatic: THE 80S [09:09 PM] Wack'd: Marvel Wiki kinda has to cram these things back into canon whenever there's a break in the action [09:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Which there wasn't really for any of 1979, it seems [09:10 PM] Wack'd: Yeah [09:10 PM] Umbramatic: i would make an 80s joke but that was before my time [09:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Was that the longest arc they've had so far? The space adventure [09:11 PM] Wack'd: I don't know why this couldn't have happened before that but whatever. The alternative is that I create my own timeline and the team is excruciating [09:11 PM] Wack'd: The space adventure was pretty hecking long, yeah [09:12 PM] Wack'd: So we open in media res, with a Sandman fight. Resolved by Sue force-fielding him and Johnny using his fire to freeze him into crystal [09:12 PM] Wack'd: Which I'm pretty sure should kill him but whatever [09:13 PM] Wack'd: He'll be fine [09:13 PM] Umbramatic: sandman: "this is fine" [09:13 PM] maxwellelvis: Really shows the differing level of threat Sandman provokes between Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four [09:14 PM] Wack'd: The president of the bank Sandman was robbing gives the Four a reward: [09:14 PM] Wack'd: A cat calendar [09:14 PM] Umbramatic: cats [09:15 PM] Wack'd: This is canon forever now

[09:15 PM] Umbramatic: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW [09:15 PM] maxwellelvis: It's priceless! Literally worthless! [09:15 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh, Ben likes it. I can't make fun of it anymore. [09:16 PM] Umbramatic: i love ben [09:16 PM] Wack'd: Also: Franklin wants to join the Four! Reed says maybe when he's older, as though that's a real thing that will someday really happens [09:16 PM] maxwellelvis: lmao [09:17 PM] Umbramatic: don't worry it'll happen once ash ketchum turns 11 [09:17 PM] Wack'd: Agatha has come up from Whisper Hill to invite the Four and Franklin to vacation with her to New Salem! I'm sure this can only go well [09:18 PM] maxwellelvis: We're only going on vacation to the haunted town we barely got out of last time with our skins, in a double-length issue. [09:18 PM] maxwellelvis: What could possibly go wrong? [09:19 PM] Wack'd: An interesting device that's been happening over the past four pages is that at the bottom of each page there's been a horizontal-one-panel cutaway to an occult ritual happening. [09:19 PM] Wack'd: I can't really screenshot that but it's really neat [09:20 PM] Umbramatic: oooooh [09:20 PM] Wack'd: Hahahhaahaa

[09:21 PM] Umbramatic: rip ben [09:21 PM] Umbramatic: he just wants to go to disney world [09:22 PM] Wack'd: So they land at the airport, rent a car, and drive to New Salem. But Ben has trouble finding it, naturally [09:23 PM] Wack'd: Oh look, I found Waldo

[09:23 PM] Umbramatic: but did you find his girlfriend carmen sandiego [09:25 PM] maxwellelvis: Dear lord, we've stumbled into a Renaissance faire! Everyone run! [09:25 PM] Wack'd: Some real good layouts here. George Pérez: great at his job

[09:25 PM] Wack'd: Also: Johnny nearly gets his soul sucked out [09:26 PM] Bocaj: It Happens [09:26 PM] maxwellelvis: Gordon and Susan from Sesame Street have joined Agatha's coven, apparently. [09:26 PM] Wack'd: Well, they're the baddies [09:26 PM] Wack'd: So that stinks [09:26 PM] maxwellelvis: Never trust people who hang out with puppets. [09:27 PM] maxwellelvis: Who know what all the people in your neighborhood do. [09:27 PM] Wack'd: Also if you notice from the two-page spread, apparently the only black people in town 😬 [09:28 PM] Umbramatic: oh [09:28 PM] Bocaj: Bad show, comic [09:29 PM] Wack'd: So the Ceremony of Renewal happens. And what is supposed to be a remembrance ceremony for people killed in the witch hunts and a way to re-energize all of the townsfolks gets hijacked by those guys from the blue panels, who steal all the magical energies to bring back...this dingus.

[09:30 PM] Wack'd: Of all of the things you could've possibly done with unlimited magic energy, really? This guy? [09:30 PM] Umbramatic: dingus [09:30 PM] Wack'd: Oh right the blue panel guys were his henchmen. His impossibly dumb-looking henchmen

[09:31 PM] Wack'd: Was the one third from the right always so...Marge Simpson? [09:31 PM] maxwellelvis: FEED ME EGGS, HOMER [09:32 PM] Bocaj: oh hey i recognize some of these dinguses from the scarlet witch vision miniseries [09:32 PM] Bocaj: When Vision dryhumped babies into Wanda [09:32 PM] maxwellelvis: Somebody brought them back again?! [09:32 PM] Bocaj: 'pparently [09:33 PM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight [09:34 PM] Wack'd: Marv Wolfman: A Man Who Knows A Lot About Gazelles

[09:37 PM] Wack'd: Reed, shattering or otherwise bypassing force fields is a fucking gimme power for your villains. You say you want to fight the Fantastic Four and you get "ignoring force fields" in your complimentary gift bag

[09:37 PM] Bocaj: Reed is dumb [09:38 PM] Wack'd: So the Four get their asses thoroughly kicked [09:39 PM] Wack'd: Normally this would be the part where we cut away, and they all wake up in a prison cell which they break out of, and the plot proceeds [09:39 PM] Wack'd: But this time is different [09:39 PM] Wack'd: And Marv Wolfman is not going to just ignore the fact that this small child has just seen his entire family get beat unconscious [09:40 PM] Wack'd:

[09:42 PM] Wack'd: Franklin uses the power of inconsolable sadness and fear [09:42 PM] Wack'd: It's...*sniff*...it's super-effective [09:43 PM] Bocaj: huh [09:43 PM] Wack'd: Seriously. I like this scene a lot [09:43 PM] Umbramatic: awwwwww [09:44 PM] Wack'd: I like that we're being forced to reckon with the danger Franklin is regularly in. And the fact that he's just a kid. And that for him to use powers he doesn't know he has--for him to be the deus ex machina we routinely mock--he has to be in a real dark place [09:44 PM] Wack'd: And I like Agatha acknowledging that this is hard for him and comforting him [09:46 PM] Wack'd: So uh. Meanwhile. The Salem Seven are conducting a ritual on the roof of the Baxter Building to destroy the Four and give Nick Scratch corporeal form [09:47 PM] Wack'd: This for some reason involves generating a massive force field, gradually pushing all the people of Manhattan back as it encompasses the city [09:48 PM] Wack'd: Spider-Man, the Avengers, and the Defenders all try to break through, but fail [09:49 PM] Wack'd: Only Agatha and Franklin can break through--after all, Agatha's more powerful than her son. (The comic takes this as a given, despite Franklin's existence. Maybe it's a magic thing) [09:49 PM] maxwellelvis: It's gotta be the combined power of the entire Salem Seven that's locked Dr. Strange and Silver Surfer out of the bubble. [09:50 PM] maxwellelvis: Fewer than that and either of them could have broken through no prob, assuming that's the Defenders line-up we're talking about [09:50 PM] maxwellelvis: the Dr. Strange, Silver Surfer, Hulk, and Namor team [09:50 PM] Wack'd: It's not. [09:50 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh [09:51 PM] Wack'd: There's whoever the fuck this is

[09:52 PM] maxwellelvis: I know that guy but I can't remember his name. [09:52 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh, it says right there, Nighthawk [09:52 PM] Wack'd: So forgettable I forgot his name moments after reading it [09:53 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, the Salem Seven's spells are easily deflected. So are the ghostly Nick's attempts to stop her with hail, fire, and lightning [09:53 PM] Bocaj: Nighthawk: strong as two strong guys at night. Owns a jetpack. Is Batman but Somehow Worse. [09:54 PM] Wack'd:

Nick: Why won't you die, blast you?! Agatha: Because I am your mother, Nicholas.

[09:54 PM] Bocaj: Hah [09:54 PM] Mousa The 14: Damn [09:55 PM] Mousa The 14: Someone call the cops, I’d like to report a familicide [09:55 PM] Umbramatic: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [09:55 PM] Mousa The 14: This woman completely obliterated her son [09:55 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh snap [09:55 PM] Mousa The 14: Yes he deserved it, just figured you’d all wanna know [09:55 PM] Wack'd: Agatha and Franklin make their way into the Baxter Building where a brainwashed Fantastic Four are waiting. [09:56 PM] Wack'd: Franklin 🥺

[09:57 PM] Mousa The 14: This is legitimately genuinely terrifying [09:57 PM] Mousa The 14: Like, jesus christ that's horrifying [09:57 PM] Umbramatic: y i p e [09:57 PM] Mousa The 14: Like this big friendly ol' teddy bear unle Ben Grimm crushing a child to death [09:57 PM] maxwellelvis: "Thank you, Nicholas Scratch, I feel much better now" [09:57 PM] Mousa The 14: has to be one of the most horryfing ideas in my mind right now [09:58 PM] Wack'd: Fortunately, Franklin manages to break their mind control with the power of love. Also being a god [09:58 PM] Umbramatic: Jesus Christ, how horrifying! [09:58 PM] Bocaj: Unleash your annihilation of love [09:59 PM] Wack'd: And Agatha sets right what has once gone wrong

[10:01 PM] Wack'd: And so the story ends with...Ben complaining there's no reward? I guess?

[10:02 PM] Wack'd: Probably should've ended on a more Franklin centered note [10:02 PM] Wack'd: But overall I like this one a lot [10:02 PM] maxwellelvis: Agatha erased the cat poster from his memory, I assume [10:02 PM] Mousa The 14: I can’t believe we let this woman fall into lost history, she should be in every F4 adaptation [10:03 PM] Wack'd: She's great, yeah

#1980 #Marv Wolfman #George Pérez #The Main Book

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