#also slaughter if ur reading this ilysm /qp <3 <3 <3

[eliias-bouchard]

hi welcome to a stupid thing me & my qpp wrote bc of the jerma archivist joke. pls enjoy \o/ @tefmiles

[CLICK]

[PRESUMABLY; LONDON, SOMEWHERE ELSE]

JON

(tone implying this conversation has been going on for a while) I know, Martin, but if we can get to the Archives we can stop - everything! Everyone will be fine, and then we can leave, and just go about having a *normal* life.

MARTIN

(patient but exasperated) Love, I'm sure they'll be just fine. We don't know who the Archivist is now. Maybe the Archivist is someone.. (he trails off)

JON

Better at their job?

MARTIN

No, no, just.. someone who'd figure it out sooner.

JON

Right.

[THEY FALL INTO COMFORTABLE SILENCE. THE SOUND OF THEIR FOOTSTEPS ON PAVEMENT IS AUDIBLE.]

JON (CONTD.)

I just, I mean - even if it is just.. how we'd recognise it, we can still attack Jonah, or give them vital information.

MARTIN

(hum of agreement) Well, we're here now, so no point mulling it over anymore. You first.

[A DOOR OPENS. FOR A FEW MINUTES, SILENCE AS THEY WALK DOWN TO THE ARCHIVES.] [ANOTHER DOOR OPENS, PRESUMABLY THE ONE TO THE ARCHIVES.]

TIM

Uh- hey, you- need a visitors pass to be down here?

MARTIN

It's okay, we're just popping in for a minute. Jo- Elias has cleared us to be down here, you might find an email about it? Or he might not have sent it, you know how he is. (small, nervous chuckle)

TIM

(clearly suspicious) ..right.

[YET ANOTHER DOOR, PRESUMABLY THE ONE TO THE ARCHIVST’S OFFICE.]

JON

(confused) Erm.

MARTIN

(confident, but still confused underneath it) Sorry, hi, we're looking for the Head Archivist?

JEREMY “JERMA” ELBERTSON

(seemingly in the middle of something) Well, you- you found me! I-

[HE PAUSES IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS SENTENCE.]

JERMA

Wh- Chat, why are you pogging?? Who are these people? What the hell is "J-Mart"? I- So sorry, they're- they're telling me to ask you about The Panopticon? I don't- I don't know what that is, uh.

[next bit by my qpp!!]

JON (increased confusion) Is that... What is that?

MARTIN (slightly accusatory) Are you streaming your job to Twitch?

JERMA Well it- Being an Archivist doesn't exactly pay the bills. I have to stay fed.

MARTIN Yeah, but- Twitch? You decided to do Twitch as a side-hustle?

[THE TWITCH CHAT IS PANNED OVER TO.]

CHAT POG pogchamp JMART lmao jerma broke BROKE BOY JERM gayboys gayboys BI KING lets goooooooo JMART :MonkaS: SHJDHWISJDIFHKUHDNWK according to all knwo laws of aviation ther HEY JMRA PREGNANT COMP LETS GOOOOOOO ARCHY BOY AND HIS LOVER ARE HERE what if we al im blue dabadeedabadie WOAHSDOFIUHHDSKHDF :omega_LUL:

[USER 4792047294 HAS BEEN BANNED BY GerryKeay_Gaming]

JON (exasperated) Gerry- Gerry Keay is on your livestream? Right now?

[Michael_Distorts WANTS TO SHARE SOMETHING] oh hey jon. youre visiting the archivist. nice. have fun.

JON (CONTD.) (exasperation increased) Mi- Michael Shelley? The Distortion? He’s on your livestream?

JERMA (after a pause of contemplation) Y- Yeah? They're just my mods? I mean sometimes th- they share things but not much more?

[MARTIN'S SANITY IS QUICKLY DRAINING]

& extra bonus bit of content, also by my qpp:

JERMA Alright Chat. I'm gonna raid Gerry since he's my best mod. Bye- Bye Chat!

[SOFT LULLING MUSIC PLAYS AS THE SCREEN SWITCHES TO GerryKeay_Gaming]

[GERRY IS PLAYING ANIMAL CROSSING: NEW HORIZONS. THERE IS A SMALL BIT OF TEXT BENEATH HIS WEBCAM READING “computer broke & now my music won’t work sorry lol”.]

GERRY (with intense fever) FUCK THESE TARANTULAS FUCK THEM I HATE THEM DIE.

#tagged #fandom #tma #tma s5 #jerma archivist #jerma!archivist #archivist!jerma #PLEASE tell me these are actual tags #my writing #fanwork #fan work #writing #my posts #selfpost #also slaughter if ur reading this ilysm /qp <3 <3 <3 #btw elias is a speedrunner in this au. he speedruns rlly old games bc he was there when they dropped #the magnus archives #magpod #magnuspod #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #yeah sure he shows up #jarchivist #jon sims #tagging so many tags. i want this to be popular