#also i never realized how hard transcription of people talking is

[mieux-de-se-taire]

Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough for the Two of Us - MCR Interviews

89.5 WSOU FM Interview - 7/11/02

7:10-8:50

Interviewer: One of my favorite tracks is actually the second track. It’s the first full song: “Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough for the Two of Us.” Wanna get into that? I’m guessing, Gerard, you write most of the lyrics for it? Gerard: Uh, yeah. Do you got an edit button for that song then? Interviewer: Yeah, I known where it is. I’m all good. (Band laughs in the background) Gerard: We talked about that on the way up. We were like “I don’t think he’s gonna be able to play that,” but... ... Interviewer: Alright, so, let’s get into a little bit of the background. Gerard: Okay Interviewer: (Overlapping) This is the-- it’s not the opening track but it’s the first track where you actually get introduced to the whole album. And, you know, what was the reasoning for making this track the first full track? Gerard: This was the last song we wrote, I think, before recording the record. And, honestly, like, I had run out of stuff to talk about, so I asked everybody. I was like, “Does anybody else have a story they can talk about?” And, turns out Mikey did, so. Mikey goes, “write this about an ex-girlfriend.” So I did. And I wrote it for Mikey. Interviewer: For his ex-girlfriend or your ex-girlfriend? Gerard: Well, for Mikey’s ex, but like-- (Interviewer and Ray(?) laugh) I wrote it for Mikey. It’s for Mikey. Interviewer: Did he have any input on how the lyrics should be? (To Mikey) Did you have any involvement in the writing? Gerard: Mikey, did you? Mikey: (Very faintly in the background) Not really (Everyone laughs) Ray: He said no. Gerard: I think Mikey-- Mikey pretty much just lived it, and like, there’s lines in there like... (Band laughs). There’s lines in there like “You can’t keep my brother” and stuff like that. So that's kind of like me talking about him, and then it switches from like me to him.

/

Noise Theory Interview - 11/13/02

Paragraph 5

Interviewer: Even though ‘My Chemical Romance’ as a band have been together only a short time, the album displays some excellent and mature song writing skills. Were the album songs written after the band became complete? Ray: We started in October 2001, and had written 5 songs by January 2002. This was when the band was still a four piece. The rest of the songs came together a few weeks before we went to record. Honey This Mirror and Early Sunsets were written about a week before we left for the studio. We asked Frank to be in the band around the same time, so to get his input on those songs really helped them become what they are.

/

Rocksound #67 - April 2004

Paragraph 1

Gerard: Vanity is a big subject in our songs. I think without vanity - the band, to a degree, doesn’t work. There’s an arrogance and vanity to it, but it’s almost like a commentary on human behavior. The song “Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough for the Two of Us” was strictly about vanity. It’s about being vain enough to live your life and do what you want. Maybe I’m misconstrued, maybe it’s just confidence, but it’s always fun to dabble in vanity or arrogance. It kind of gives you the power that you have as a band but we’re, at the same time, keeping level-headed.

/

Kerrang #1476 - 7/23/13

Page 6, paragraph 1

On revisting Honey... recently, Gerard Way said, “My voice sounds so raw, untrained on this... all of us do and it’s great -- really fun to listen to.”

#mcr #my chemical romance #i brought you my bullets you brought me your love #bullets #honey this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us #mcr interviews #song interviews #i'm pretty sure the last one is from a tweet and not actually an interview #but i included it anyway #i chose not to include mentions of just the music video that didn't really talk about the song #also i never realized how hard transcription of people talking is #people use so many filler words and repeat themselves so much! #wish me luck on vampires they've talked about it so many times

[janmisali]

been a while since I've done this but check out this comment. what are they talking about (transcription under the cut)

/hj is simple. It just means when you see it, youre supposed to go, "ha". Not "ha, ha, ha" like fully laughing, or " " like its not funny, just "ha". Thats all it means. /j means you go "ha, ha, ha" and /s means dont get irritated because they are not serious. You dont have to laugh but you dont have to cry either. No tone indicator is created for you to go back to the text to figure out what the tone indicator means, because most people will never do that, hence the meaning is created by the response and not whats inside the text. Thats natural language for you. Created by people doing illogocal stuff, not logic. Technically it is logical though. Its just not using the logic you would assume it to. You cant just assume that. You have to take everything that can affect the creation of language into account.

The tone indicator is useful when you want some1 to react by something. There are these awkward moments when you in a group (irl) tell a joke and every1 half laughs, but one guy goes fully laughing and its weird. This tone indicator is so that every1 knows to half laugh so that people can know that online as well. Communicating just isnt created like a certain word in a certain place or some word combination always should create a defined response. Tone indicators just try to control that response, which is why they exist. Its not complicated.

And yes its too stupid imo, ive given up on real language a long time ago, created languages are much more interesting to me at least.

Let me just go off the track completely and also super personal and define autism, because why not. Ive tried to do this before but i feel like now ive found the tools to do it better. Autistic people are people who are sensitive to information. Any kind of information, any kind of sensitive. Any kind of sensitive includes being non-sensitive and sensitivity fluctuations. Any kind of information can be sound, visual information like light or subjective information like text and it includes information fluctions. That is why autistic people can be very smart. That is also why they can be very dumb. Or both at the same time.

For example, here you show extreme intelligence for making an 18-minute video about language that doesnt make sense by logic, which it doesnt, which is a pretty important realization, but you also show a little of assuming your logic is the best which it isnt. Your logic is unaware of how the logic that goes into creating that language we all speak. It is the average human that creates language, because natural language is the most accessible to the average human. And so you have to think how does/would the average human react. The average human will laugh when they see /hj. They need no reasoning, thus reasoning is not needed in the language. I could literally say a comment of "hi. /hj" and for the average 100 iq person, that is a good joke or not, and it needs no reason to be or not be. Thats why comedy is so hard because for the average person it needs no reason to be funny, hence it either is or isnt. The best laughs are the laughs that have no reason, because thats when your instincts take over and make you feel good about yourself.

We obviously know autism with lights and sound is pretty much chronic. But i wonder, how chronic are they with logic. Because you can certainly be less sensitive to certain kinds of logic and more sensitive towards other kinds, it just isnt generally included in autism since its pretty common in neurotypical people too. I would go as far and say that autism was created from people doing irrational things with logic, and surviving better because they bamboozeled the people that used logic, thus the genes caught on and were like, "bro, were currently just taking in information, and treating it like its random, and we survive better, how about we cut the middleman and just interpret the information randomly straight away since it seems to work so well". I could be wrong but if its true that there were no autistic people before or there arent autistic animals in any other group of animals, that could be the reason why - our ability to think better caused us to also be able to get confused by randomness, thus people acting randomly can cause people to get confused and thus have the randomly acting people survive better and thus evolution of genes can catch on to the way of acting and make it genetical.

#jan misali #youtube comments #autism

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

Shoma's press con on his retirement 14/05/2024

Japanese transcript (not sure if it's full though) of Shoma's 1 hour retirement press con. I put a machine translation with Google lense on each paragraph. Beware that it's not a word for word translation but only for getting the gist of Shoma's words!

livedoor news

@livedoornews

[Shoma Uno's retirement press conference] The most vivid memory I have is ``the sight of coach Stéphane Lambiel when he won his first world championship.''

Q.When was the moment when you decided to end your career with this season?

It was about two years ago that I started thinking about retiring.

However, since then, I have had a hard time imagining myself retiring, so of course I have been working hard on skating with all my might, but I have had many experiences since then, and I am now where I am now.

It's already time to decide on a clear time.

However, regarding when I told my coach, right after the All Japan Championships ended, I told Coach Stefan that I was thinking of retiring as an active athlete at the next tournament.

Q. What did you gain or feel because you experienced the big stage?

I've never been someone who was good at standing up in front of people and talking like this, or performing on a big stage.

Once you experience something on a big stage, you become less nervous about everything than you were then.

I've had a lot of experiences on big stages, but even if it's not a big stage at all, there are parts of my life that make me nervous.

My biggest thought is that when I look back on it, I think it was a precious experience, a precious treasure that I only get to have now.

Q. No matter how many times I think about it, I think it's a good memory.

I think seeing Stefan's joy after winning his first World Championship is a very memorable and vivid memory for me as well.

[Shoma Uno's retirement press conference] "I'm looking forward to figure skating as he continues to reach a high level."

Q. You have been able to express yourself even among players with large physiques.

I have never felt at a disadvantage in figure skating because of my short height.

I'm really glad I chose figure skating.

First of all, with my height of 157 cm, there are not many other sports where I can excel, so I am truly blessed to have started figure skating.

I don't think I ever had such negative feelings.

Q. Do you have a message for your juniors who are competing against rising players such as [Ilia] Malinin?

I skated an old program at an ice show the other day, so I had the opportunity to watch videos of old competitions.

When I looked at my own videos, I realized that I had really evolved in terms of expression compared to before.

I'm looking forward to the future of figure skating, which will continue to rise to a higher and higher level, and all the juniors in Japan are really good kids. First of all, we get along very well. Of course I want everyone to have a good result, but I also hope that at least one athlete who has the most fun and embodies the kind of skating that they are aiming for can emerge.

Q. What do you think about when you are skating?

When I was little, I had a very introverted personality and couldn't speak in front of people.

I don't think my parents thought I would be able to stand on the ice alone and perform in front of so many people.

On the other hand, because I'm the only one there, people can really see the world I create and the way I express myself.

Even here, I'm very grateful to have a place where everyone listens to what I say sincerely and reports on it, and I think that's why it's a place where it's easy to express my true colors. Because I think so.

I don't think I'm the type of person who can communicate much, so I think the competition and environment suited me very well.

Also, when it comes to skating, which I would like to do in the future, I want to give it my all.

I also want to be able to create a program that I find enjoyable every day, and show it to everyone in a way that brings out my own emotions.I don't feel like I have to do this first, but I want to. I'm excited about the possibility of creating some great programs in the future that emerge from this feeling.

Q.What is the driving force behind skating?

To be honest, I don't know.

I've loved games since I was very young, so at first I just wanted to play games and work hard at skating.

However, as I continued skating every day, I gradually became attracted to the appeal of skating and the idea that I could compete at the top of the world. I think it's really important to have a place to devote all your time to, including your hobbies.

No matter how depressed you are, being able to put your all into something is extremely valuable.

Although it may be tiring at times.

However, I believe that the time I spent facing this wholeheartedly will be an asset for me in the future, and I think that this experience will be something I can continue to utilize in my life. Masu.

___

Feimeicheng did a translation on her Instagram Account so you can check for translation discrepancies.

#shoma uno #figure skating #fs translation #happy retirement shoma #machine translation beware! #Instagram

[souryogurt64]

If I may ask, what series of events led to the bad headspace about bands?

I mean to be super concise about it I just think I got a little too much of interviewing bands and it started to become really negative for me.

I started doing it because I was really inspired and fascinated by the one billion interviews FOB did with random people with shitty Angelfire pages that were just transcripts of tons of interviews bands, and I wanted to like be that for some kid in the future where I was providing the most candid snapshot possible. Pete always did them and he had always been really nice and patient and you could tell he really was putting effort in no matter how shitty the website or questions.

However, now that I have done insane amounts of research, I think this was not really a normal thing but a thing that Hey Chris was partially facilitating via running the website. And it's probably why Fall Out Boy are Fall Out Boy and not like one billion other shitty bands. I don't think people really understood the project or my vision, which is fine and probably on me. Anyway--

People in Bands Fucking Suck

First and foremost, the bands were awful to be around most of the time. I get that's showbiz and I realize a lot of them were mean to me specifically because they don't think talking to journalists should be part of their job and they just want to "create" all day or whatever. And my zine didn't even have clout.

But it's hard to see one of your favorite bands the same way after the singer makes a really mean joke about how fat a guy in another band on the tour is, and then gets onstage and starts preaching about inclusivity. And then you have to decide if you're gonna put it in the interview or not.

It was also kind of disturbing because I just wanted to talk to as many bands as possible. But--especially when I was a younger-- I definitely felt that a lot of the bands thought I must've been a huge fan to ask to do this and saw me as a target for bullying and would do stuff like throw paper balls at my head or lock me out of the green room and then stand in the window laughing. It was all really dumb and juvenile and is expected of bands to an extent. But the thing that bothered me about it-- with the older guy bands especially-- was the fact that because they assumed I was a fan, they saw me as expendable, which I felt was egotistical and annoying.

Getting backstage

I would also be supposedly listed or supposedly interviewing a band and get stood up all the time. It wasn't as big of an issue when I was in college and had paid for tickets to the show anyway, but once I started to have to miss work (unpaid, I was a utility position at a brewery) for this stuff or the shows would be sold out and I had gone all the way there it started to really upset me. Once I got more experience interviewing, I started to realize that people weren't "forgetting," but PR people have a certain number of spots to give to press and probably just put me as a lower priority in case so-and-so from Rolling Stone was too hungover to show up or whatever and didn't care how that affected my life because I wasn't important.

In the same vein, I would be listed or have a band person/manager with me but security would be really difficult anyway.

Nepo Babies

As things went on, I also realized how many people in music are nepo babies. Some of them don't even want to be there. Many of them lack self-awareness to an extreme degree. They often don't care about the "cause" they're preaching for. They just don't want to work. That's all I'll say.

PR People

Once it got to a point where I was working with established bands and talking to "industry" people, it was really hard because I felt a lot of pressure to do/say what they wanted, which I know was on me. But they would string me along or bait and switch with very specific promises of interviews with real celebrities or other nebulous "opportunities" that never materialized.

They would also push me to edit the transcripts. I had no issues with fixing mistakes but it started to become "I don't like what they said, can you change it," which I didn't want to do. Part of why I only did transcripts is because people are way too sensitive and get upset with even nice things you say about them because, you should know, they're a bubble dream mermaidcore band and not a bedroom pop band or whatever.

Also, I was pretty young and naive and at first I believed these people really thought I was cool and had actually read something on the zine. As time went on, I realized they were lying and sending the same vague compliments like "we love your vibe" to an entire list of people with autofilled names.

They would also lie about reading the essays. I do not expect anyone to read the essays because they're long and insane. But I put so much work into them, it's really hurtful to have someone lie to about thinking they were good to try and get me to do something I don't want to do. Like, for example, interview a super racist band that was dropped by their label.

No Clout

I felt like it was hard to say no to everything people wanted from me because the zine had essentially no clout. In addition to the stuff with PR people, it was very reliant on the bands being okay with what I said and reposting it. I also felt a lot of pressure within the zine to be nice and say yes to everything instead of being honest or saying no.

I know the responsibility of gaining clout is on me, but the zine was always a just a hobby and I was not interested in spending all of my time following and unfollowing accounts on Instagram to be taken seriously faster. Also, it's more of an extension of my Tumblr, which has like almost 8k followers, but I wasn't about to like. Say that

The End

Anyway, everything kind of culminated in one shitty week-ish where:

1) a PR person we had been working with (who I did not like bc she lied about reading my gay My Chemical Romance essay) had promised us an "interview" with a bigger band. I had been doing a lot of feature articles I hated writing for artists whose music I thought was bad and I wasn't okay with writing them but then I'd end up doing it anyway in hopes of earning "ops" like this and for well. Other...Reasons. When we finally got the "interview" it was over email, several weeks late, most of the answers were like 5 words long and they obviously weren't going to repost it.

2) A band I really loved and had built a rapport with after interviewing them had invited me on tour and then cancelled last minute for the second time. The first time I got fired from my job for taking that much unpaid time off and had to start dogwalking in January. The second time I was out the flight money and the unpaid time off for tour. They--without being asked at all-- promised to pay me back and then ghosted me. I get shit happens and I'm not that important to the band but it is hard to deal with that kind of thing.

3) I had posted a huge feature on another band I really liked and they didn't repost it. I had never even heard of this band until their people reached out twice to ask us for some other stuff. I know I can never count on bands to repost shit, but I had put an abnormal amount of effort into this because I felt like if the band had asked us for coverage twice they would like. Be more considerate of the time and effort it took to do this and their manager would not leave me on read.

I had also begged to have a holiday off at work to do this, and I had someone visiting from out of town. The band kept us for almost 3 hours after the show ended. I hadn't been expecting this to happen because something like this had never happened before so I thought it would be to OK to tell my friend to show up hours after the show was over. My friend was like "Where are you" and was really upset with me. I had also said no to like 3 diff holiday parties to sit in a freezing cold bar soaking wet being berated by security to leave and being told "just one more minute" by the manager.

Because I was operating under the stupid assumption that the band was going to repost it, the feature was very glowing and did not mention some negative aspects that were more personal and important to me to bring up. So I also felt like I had like betrayed my own integrity for clout that never materialized, which also made me feel gross, but again is on me. This had been going on with a lot of features I felt pressured into writing, but this was something I actually cared about.

This also would've been fine and my issue to deal with, and IDK how to say this next part nicely or in a politically correct way, but the final straw was the same week they made some glowing post about how detailed and amazing an interview by a blonde girl who posted boobie shots on IG all the time was. There were some other critical details about the specific content of this that upset me way, way more than that, but I can't share them because I don't want people to immediately know what band this was.

Conclusion

This is also like fine I guess, but I realized I wasn't blonde, didn't have boobies, and I also realized I didn't even like doing this anymore and but I was wasting a ton of money, jeopardizing my job, ruining my relationships with people, seeing an unpleasant side of people I admired, and my social life was suffering. There were some creative differences with people too and other stuff I don't feel is necessary to share.

Some parts of this are probably like, all in my head, but this was how I perceived it. I'm sure parts of this had to do with like me not understanding stuff or being dumb or not doing a good job but I stopped having fun. This was all awhile ago but I think it started as a "break," then life happened, then I realized it stopped being a break. I'm still going to do the essays but it's just weird to not have your life revolve around something anymore after it revolved around that for 4 years.

[jesuiscenseedormir]

Post Scriptum comment: I don't even know what this is; rambling, thinking at loud about acespec Eddie Diaz. Yesterday was international asexuality day and I went to sleep thinking Does Eddie know about asexuality? Then, put myself to sleep trying to answer that question. So I guess this is a transcript of my half asleep thoughts.

What if Eddie knows about asexuality. He's a 30 something man living in LA. He has a teenage son. He has queer friends. He knows stuff. He's heard a lot of words, a lot he only vaguely understands, but he's heard, he knows. He knows he's not asexual. He was a teenage dad, he had a wife, they had a lot of sex, and he loved it and wanted it. Yeah. The sex was good, great. Not so much when their mariage was falling apart, but that's to be expected in this situation. When they tried to rebuild a relationship together, sex seemed to be the only thing they were good at. Also he's had girlfriends, multiple, since he's wife died. They had sex, too. It was nice. So, definitely not asexual.

But then he meets someone who's asexual. Maybe a patient. Maybe they're stuck together. No immediate danger, but he needs to keep her calm and monitor her cognitive functions, until his team can get to them. So they talk. He asks if she works? hobbies? partner? How did you two meet? They talk and talk and he thinks they probably could have become friends in other circumstances. Eventually, she mentions being asexual; and he's confused. Earlier she talked about painting and mentioned how her partner likes to distract her; and his confusion probably showed on his face. Later, he'll wonder what really prompt her to explain it to him, if she was indulging him or just glad to share more of her life, maybe both, but he's forever grateful she decided to.

She tells him about thinking something was wrong with her for not wanting sex, about thinking she wasn't normal. She tells him about learning what asexuality is, about finding community, understanding and acceptance. She tells him about the joy of finding a partner that understood her, and a partner that felt like her; about the relief that she could love someone and not love sex. And then she tells him about falling in love with her best friend; or more accurately realizing she had fallen, was fallen, will probably keep falling in love with them forever. How she wanted to be close to them, always closer, wanted in a way she never did. How she eventually thought; if I had to have sex with someone, I wouldn't mind doing it with them. And how that neutral acceptance turned into active desires. She tells him that she's still asexual; some people never ever want sex, some are neutral, some very positive about it, some people's answer changes throughout their life. And he has so many questions, questions he'll never get to ask, maybe for the better given how personal most of them are.

They get interrupted by a sound, a sound he knows means his team is close, right before his radio comes to life. So he focuses on doing his job, on helping his team rescue them, on making sure she gets to contact her partner before she goes to the hospital. But that conversation sticks with him. It sticks with him for days, in a way only really bad calls and really good ones can. So he tries to answer some of his questions himself, for himself. He's heard a lot of words, but it's the first time he feels the urge to put it up to the light and examine it for himself.

He thinks about Shannon. They knew each other but they weren't best friends. When they got together it felt like magic, they fell hard and fast, it was amazing until it wasn't. He was never neutral about sex with her, lots of active desires; nothing about their relationship has ever been neutral. He can't say the same about Ana and Marisol. He just followed their lead. He had months long relationships with two beautiful women and for both, he would have been fine if they didn't include sex. He doesn't know what to think about that; about any of that. Does he really need answers, it's not like it's gonna change anything, anyway. So he stops thinking about it, actively that is, but it's still there, in the back of his mind.

aaaaand that's probably when I started to actually fall asleep because the thoughts gets blurry and incoherent

#and is apparently my favorite word #My/His thoughts didn't even make it to his (non) attraction to random people #didn't even make it to taking his current best friend into consideration #eddie diaz #acespec eddie diaz #aspec eddie diaz #thinking thoughts #911 thoughts #911 #911 abc #🌻 #the last part “Does he really need answers...” is definitely not me projecting. nope. #demisexual eddie #queer eddie

[blowflyfag]

WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION MAGAZINE : JANUARY 1993

NIGHT OF CRIES : BRET HART’S MOMENT OF TRUTH

Transcript Below!!!

The sun had set, Darkness covered the land–and the spirit of Bret “Hit Man” Hart as well. It was shortly after he lost the WWF Intercontinental Title to his brother-in-law, the British Bulldog, at SummerSlam. Bret was in a hotel room on the road, and he was lost in thought. He was deeply troubled. He was questioning himself, wondering what course his life might follow in the future. Was it time,  he debated, to hang up the tights?

Fortunately for Bret–and for the WWF and his legions of fans–he decided to hang in there. Less than two months later he would win the WWF Title by defeating Ric Flair in Saskatoon. As he pondered his SummerSlam loss, however, he had no way of knowing the future. His career may  well have hung up in the balance. Instead the balance tipped positively, not because the Hit Man dwelt on the future, but  because he dwelt on the past.

“I was feeling some self doubt,” said Bret. “I wondered if I had lost the touch. It was a terrible moment. I thought of my family, all of our wrestling tradition. So I picked up the telephone, called home and talked to my wife. Then I called my father [wrestling great Stu Hart]. They both told me to remember what I had done in the past, to think about how lucky I’d been to have won titles in the WWF. They reminded me of how hard I’d fought to give a good account of myself in the ring and how my fans have supported me. I realized that I had faced adversity before and used the experience to make myself stronger. I told myself to regroup and get on with the business at hand. Boy I’m certainly glad I did”

So are millions of other people who have followed Bret Hart through the many trials and triumphs of his career–and what a career! Twice, as a member of the Hart Foundation, Bret wore the WWF Tag Team Belt. He proved that he had the intelligence and physical ability to blend his style with that of his burly partner, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.

But it has been as a singles wrestler that Bret Hart has excelled. The first time he won the Intercontinental Belt was by beating Mr. Perfect . In that match,  Bret demonstrated that he could match one of the most proficient technical wrestlers of all time move for move–and come out the best.

Bret defended his title with guts and style. Even when he lost it, he showed his courage–by wrestling the Mountie while ravaged by fever and flu. After that loss, Bret showed his mental toughness by battling back to regain the title from Roddy Piper in a bruising battle. 

Losing to the Bulldog was a low point in Bret’s life. He was decimated over the title loss while happy for his brother-in-law. Typically, although he was down, Bret moved forward. After a night of self-examination, he came back strong and continued to pay his dues. 

“I realized that I had faced adversity before and used the experience to make myself stronger.”

Bret promises to be a battling champion. “I don’t intend to sit back,” he says.

He was rewarded. The occasion came for him to meet Ric Flair in a match for the most coveted of all titles–the WWF Championship. “I knew that Flair was heavily favored,” says Bret. “but I also believed in myself and knew I had a chance.” 

Given the opportunity, Bret seized it. Nobody gave him the title. He went out and earned it by again proving his technical brilliance and fortitude.  Bret promises to be a battling champion. “I don’t intend to sit back,” he says. “That’s never been my way. As far as I’m concerned, I have to prove my right to be champion each time I go into the ring. If I don’t, then somebody else should wear the belt. But until somebody can prove he can, I’ll be a fighting champion.”

#wwf #world wrestling federation #bret hart #bret the hitman heart #bred #magazine transcript #wwf magazine #jim the anvil neidhart #ric flair #british bulldog

[spaceorphan18]

I stopped listening to the podcast and actually read only the scripts now. My feeling is that J&K are doing this for themselves without actually realizing that the majority of the scenes people love are scenes they were not in. So, while we sit waiting to listen to something about what we love, they talk about something that happened to them during that time. If (big IF) they reach Season 4 I wonder what will happen, will they just skip the NY parts because they weren't there?

Oohh where are you getting transcripts? I almost would rather read through them, too. I often listen to them at twice the speed - because it takes both of them forever to make a thought.

First of all, one thing that might be hard for them is the fact that with the strike(s) going on - they can't really reach out to their coworkers and friends for memories. So they have to rely on their own. And what they have memories of and what is actually on screen are very different things.

I have to wonder, too, if -- while they're clearly aware of how little they got to do in the show, that seeing the end product makes it all the more evident. It makes sense to me that there's a little bit of -- well, here's another thing I'm not apart of, meh -- seeps into how they're coming at it. And while, clearly, I enjoy a lot of aspects they don't spend time on, I can understand where they're coming from.

I think, also interestingly, something I'm noticing is they're watching the show the way fandom kinda did. There are a huge number of characters on the show, and so many characters to latch on to. I've noticed Kevin has latched onto Santana -- and I think a big part of that is how close he and Naya are, and this is a way for him to feel connected to her again. (I don't know him or his story but I get that sense when I listen to him talk about Santana -- it's more than just enjoyment of Santana -- it's about him adoring Naya so much.)

I don't know what Jenna's getting out of it - and if I'm being honest, she seems checked out. I don't know what's going on in her personal life, and I don't follow her at all -- so maybe this is how she is? But while Kevin seems to have some enthusiasm for stuff, Jenna just seems out of it during the recaps. *shrugs*

At the end of the day, though, they are doing it for themselves (and for money - I'm sure). And with that comes them just latching onto things that I wouldn't necessarily care all that much about.

I mean - I'm thinking, now, about how Darren did that rewatch of Never Been Kissed a few years ago. And how he gravitated towards things that he was in, and while it was neat to see his friends in other scenes, he more or less told stories about what it was for him, and really only seemed interested in his story line. At the end of the day - the people who decided to do a Glee podcast just happen to be people who just didn't have that big a part of the show, and I just have to make our peace with it, you know?

Meanwhile - actually, I think they'll have more to talk about when Season 4 comes along. They both have more story then. But yes, I do think they'll talk about New York -- mostly because Santana is a big part of it, and Kevin will have plenty to say about that. ;)

#that's how s.o. sees it

[wheelercore]

Henry and Jason's Monologues: Are They Mirrors of One Another?

Also, as usual, will make this about rosegate/the wheelers (threat).

Anyways, the show has never shied away from making the point that abusers/ bigots are the real "predators" and this is done repeatedly by Hawkins itself being contrasted with the monster-filled UD. In the same vein, Jason's monologue in the church is paralled to a portion of Henry's monologue (Henry's monologue is way too fucking long man).

The biggest irony here is that while Jason was scapegoating the Hellfire club, full of what he would be considered "freaks", the true evil he was hunting was... a reflection of himself.

I didn't utilize screenshots because there is a 30 image limit on text posts but I have the transcripts of both monologues here from the scripts. It's hard to tell because I've broken them up into excerpts, but the monologues are very similar structurally. As in the themes/sections I laid out here follow one another in the same way for both speeches, so it seems intentional. Both excerpts have a theme of seeing a truth under a lie, the spread of a "disease" that both Jason and Henry respectively find intolerable, and the belief that they are both morally "good". there are similarities in word usage:

A spread of something pervasive and intolerable

Jason:

"We've all heard how satanic cults are spreading through our country like some… some disease. And Eddie Munson is the leader of one of these cults. A cult that operates here in Hawkins. The mall fire. All those unexplained deaths over the years. Some people say our town is cursed. They just don't know why."

Henry:

"You see, humans are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world, all while enforcing a structure of their own. A deeply unnatural structure. Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day."

(The "unnatural" structures that Henry is talking about here are religious- specifically Christian since this is set in small town America- structures. This is paralleled to Jason talking about the spread of satanic cults via DnD)

Feelings of hopelessness as it spreads

Jason:

"And now this cult is protecting its leader, Eddie. Hiding him. Allowing him to… to continue his rampage. Last night, I became overcome with this feeling of… of hopelessness."

Henry:

"I could not do that. I could not close off my mind and join in the madness. I could not pretend."

(The intentional conflation between these DnD "cults" that Jason is afraid of and conformist Christian culture/nuclear families that Henry despises is made here again)

Their own conviction that their own actions against this force are "good"

Jason:

"Then I remembered Romans. "Do not be overcome by evil."  "But overcome evil with good." And God knows there's good in this town. So much good. It's in this room! It's in this room, right here, right now. So I came here today, humbly, to ask for your help. To join me in this fight. Let us cast out this evil and save Hawkins together."

Henry:

"And I realized I didn't have to. I could make my own rules. I could restore balance to a broken world. A predator… but for good."

(In the same way Jason wants to "cast out this evil" and save Hawkins, Henry wants to restore "balance to a broken world". Notice how Jason does not describe himself as good, but everyone in the room as good. The people that would become that mob that try to hunt down this "evil". Pack predators, but for good)

Now the one that is the most interesting to me personally:

DnD as a roleplaying game and conformity as a silly little play to hide a terrible truth behind a lie

Jason:

"Last night… Last night, I saw things, things I can't explain. Things the police don't wanna believe. And things that I don't wanna believe myself. But I know what I saw. I know. And I've come to accept an awful truth. [...] They just don't know why. Now… Now we do. Now we know. They call themselves Hellfire. A club. A club. A harmless club. That's what they want you to think. But it's a lie. A lie designed to conceal the truth."

Henry:

"Where others saw order, I saw a strait-jacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day. [...]  I could reach into others, into their minds, their memories. I became an explorer. I saw my parents as they truly were. To the world, they presented themselves as good, normal people. But like everything else in this world, it was all a lie. A terrible lie. They had done things, Eleven. Such awful things. I showed them who they really were."

(both Jason and Henry state that they have seen through the curtain. For Jason its the supernatural, seeing Eddie for who he really is. For Henry, it's seeing through the roles people play to fit in ie. conforming to societal pressure. They both make an example out of someone. In the case for Jason, he believes that Eddie is hiding behind a "harmless" DnD roleplaying club while committing this heinous acts- the "awful truth". Henry makes an example out of his nuclear family, stating how he was able to see how his parents truly were, how they hide behind a "terrible lie"- one he equated to a silly terrible play earlier in his speech)

The mind-boggling thing? Being an explorer who saw their parents for who they truly were, parents who have done awful things and hide behind a façade of normalcy, is paralleled to Holly.

In fact the shot pans over the Wheelers when Jason states that the "harmless" club is a lie designed to conceal the truth:

In fact there are many more associations with the Wheelers in Jason's speech. "We've all heard how satanic cults are spreading through our country like some… some disease."

Wheeler women are associated with cancer

The running gag of Mike's asking if his Nana has cancer in s3

2. Karen didn't need to be in the s3 scene on the phone when Mike is lying to El about his Nana's cancer, but they did intentionally include her regardless, having her ask if something is wrong with Nana and if she's sick.

3. Jonathan describes the resentment Nancy will feel for him if she has to give up her dreams for him and the continuation of the family cycle as a cancer (which is like, Karen's whole thing)- finally spelling out to us that the cancer, in this case of unsatisfied wheeler women at least, is a metaphor for female oppression/conformity:

And then we see El in California, clad in roses choking against the rose on the creel door, which we also see Karen, Nancy, and Holly associated with, spreading the disease... through the country.

(Steve brought a bouquet of roses for Nancy in an effort to get her back in s2)

"... spreading through our country like some… some disease."

Flashback to s4e1 when Mike just arrives across the country in California, he is bringing her yellow and purple flowers, which he explicitly mentions how he chose the colors when handing it to her:

Which is familiar... the spread of the UD is repeatedly compared also to an infectious disease in s3 with Mrs. Driscoll's rats being a reference to the spread of the Bubonic Plague and Driscoll being the first to "contract" this disease straights from the "source".

Mrs Driscoll wears a shirt with purple and yellow flowers on it (and red/white), similar to the ones that Mike handed El when he got to California:

(Steve brought a bouquet of roses for Nancy in an effort to get her back in s2 and Dustin jokingly asks which Wheeler parent its for)

Mind you we see rose symbolism with other female characters also. Robin Rose Weaver, who is adorned in pink and white + pearls (like Holly also) and a flower-shaped hair accessory. Robin is uncomfortable with this look as it "not her". Tammy Thompson- implying that femininity is a "performance". Angela, who represents how women bully each other into conforming with her actions towards El. Billy's mother, who wears a red flower on her beach outfit. I spoke about it here, no need to repeat it again.

Tabitha, Suzie's sister, also shares this style while in the same style while pretending to choke, like El.

As for the Wheeler men- beyond the obvious clothing parallels, we can see conflation of Eddie and Henry's parents, who have done "awful things" but hide behind a role. Ted and Mike have paralleled serial killer references in s4, which I spoke about more extensively in this post but Ill put a bit here:

Three serial killer name drops in s4: Michael Meyers, Ted Bundy, and Freddy Krueger (predators).

In fact when they name drop Ted Bundy they conflate him with Eddie Munson. Twice in that one scene actually.

The most simple play on names is apparent here. Both Eddie and Ted are short for Edward.

(and this line which low key reminds me of the The First Shadow casting call - [GUNSHOT])

But also just the focus on the Wheeler (Nancy) when serial killers are brought up as Robin is speaking about Vecna in this scene:

Also Jason's little list of where to look for Eddie specifically says Wheeler's (apostrophe designating a short hand for saying the Wheeler home) although in the show itself there is no indication from any character or scene that Jason ever checked out the Wheeler home personally unless he counts just observing briefly it from the Sinclair's next door that morning:

Anyways, if Jason's and Henry's monologues are meant to be mirrors of one another (Eddie's DnD roleplying club as a front = Conformity/nuclear family as a role to hide a "terrible lie" and "awful things" that were done) what does this line double meaning from Jason's monologue mean to you in the context of the Wheelers?

"We've all heard how satanic cults are spreading through our country like some… some disease. And Eddie Munson is the leader of one of these cults. A cult that operates here in Hawkins.[...] A club. A club. A harmless club. That's what they want you to think. But it's a lie. A lie designed to conceal the truth [shot to the Wheelers]. And now this cult is protecting its leader, Eddie. Hiding him. Allowing him to… to continue his rampage."

Which is analogous to: "I became an explorer. I saw my parents as they truly were. To the world, they presented themselves as good, normal people. But like everything else in this world, it was all a lie. A terrible lie. They had done things, Eleven. Such awful things."

Of course, abstractly, this is all a metaphor for how the cultural enforcement of the nuclear family only perpetuates the cycle of broken families.

Women are pressured into marrying men with no other choice -> they grow unsatisfied and resentful of their husbands for being abusive/emotionally neglectful and all the opportunities they gave up (cancer) -> an unhappy and resentful mother is not adequately there for her children emotionally -> her sons are not emotionally supported and are taught regardless that "boys dont cry" -> son then go onto marry a woman (even if he doesn't wan to) -> son mirrors his own upbringing having not unlearned it and becomes the emotionally neglectful/abusive/distant husband with an unhappy and resentful wife (infection spread) -> the cycle repeats

Interestingly enough when Nancy was vecna'd we get an interesting scene, shifting from miketed's Fred's mangled body to the rose door:

Idk about the serial killer stuff imma wait until TFS for that

But what does Lucas say at the end of s4 to Jason?

"normal's just a raging psychopath"

#This post was only structured for the first half then i kinda lost the plot but whateva #jason carver #henry creel #nancy wheeler #holly wheeler #karen wheeler #mike wheeler #ted wheeler

[paramorearchived]

January 27, 2011

Transcript:

bible belt.

 can't believe i'm gonna post about faith. 

but it's all that's been on my mind lately. and i think, just with my blog and with a few people here, it's come up enough times to dedicate a little more time to. i'll start by saying this... i never thought it could get any harder to live in the south, be a Christian, and do what we do. but lately, it has. and i'll finish starting by saying another thing... this post is about as personal as i could possibly get with all of you. to me, this subject matter is like ripping off a bandaid... or super gluing your lips together and then tearing them apart. (jeremy had a friend do that once, how bloody does that sound?)

disclaimer: i realize that only a few of you here share the same faith as me, so you'll have to read this all like it's my totally private diary. like i'm writing it just for my own eyes. and also, i am not using this entry as a way to make you "see the light" and start believing whatever I do. in fact, this is almost the opposite. 

so here are the basics: Christians are supposed to love everyone. we are supposed to be a clear representation of God's heart for humankind. without quoting scripture and getting myself into a storm, it's easy to see when reading the Bible - particularly the New Testament - that God's desire for his creation is love. that's a broad statement but hopefully you follow. sure bad things happen, life happens... but in the end, there's grace. there's love. and at least to me, that's God. 

so if Jesus walked the earth, showing grace to everyone, hanging out with "sinners" and even being condemned for it, all in the name of love...what's so hard to understand that as Christians, we should strive to do the same? i mean, duh, as a human being living amongst other human beings, i'm not expecting perfection.. but that's just the point. Jesus didn't expect perfection from us so why do we expect it from one another? why is it that Christians are known for being the exact opposite of how it was written that Jesus lived his life? why are we known as a bunch of hypocrites? i'm getting tired of the representation we've got out there. seems like the only Christians that speak up are the crazies. and i guess that's why i'm so not into talking about all of this all the time. i don't wanna be one more name you can add to that list.

the million dollar question that i'm wrestling with lately is this: what's the difference between someone who says they're a Christian but shows no love and someone who has nothing to do with God but shows love? who would you rather be around? ... that's what i thought! 

ugh, so i know i'm rambling and rambling. unfortunately i don't think i have a total point for all of this. i'm not expecting anyone to have an epiphany about what i've typed up. just so angry lately at people who make believing in God look like hate. figured that you guys would understand because i bet you all might have your own stories of condemnation and harsh judgement. i call those stories "playing god moments" - only call them that to myself of course to avoid seeming ridiculously narcissistic! but now you know, so if you have a "playing god moment", please share it if you can. 

and you know, maybe my point is that whether or not it goes down in history, i just want to be able to be known not for being "a Christian" but for being someone that tried to be real with people. sure, i'm not happy all the time. that's not what having faith is about anyways. i just want to know that i loved people right. or as well as i could. i really believe with everything in me God would actually be pleased with just that. and before i end this, i just want to say that i hope none of this comes off as self righteous. that would bum me out so hard cause that's exactly what i'm trying to speak out against.  okay, so i'm going to quote one verse - 1 Corinthians 13:13 "Three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 

thanks for reading this one. i'm sure it was confusing - and i didn't even proofread :/  love, hayley

#paramore #hayley williams #2011 #livejournal

[warwickroyals]

CHAPTER LII: ONE BAD DAY

Beginning | Previous | Next

Transcript under the cut - Click for HQ photos

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Aw, I ship them so hard. Finally some good things are happening.

PS - I am so fucking happy that the photo limit has been boosted to 30! No more shitty multiple screenshots per picture, yay!

All likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for the support 💜

[PHYLLIS] You’ve been broodier than usual lately. Bad week?

[PHILLIP] Remember when you joked about me drowning myself in your swimming pool?

Being your authentic self?

[PHILLIP] Trying. For all the good that’s been doing.

[PHILLIP] Also, I relapsed last week.

[PHYLLIS] Oh, Phillip, but you do know relapses are part of the process.

[PHYLLIS] I know. I’m more disappointed than anything else.

[PHILLIP] For the first time in years, I felt as if I had it in the palm of my hand. And I just squandered it; because I was having a bad day. That it. One bad day. Now I’m right back where I started.

[PHYLLIS] You can’t feel too deeply about it, dear, the world isn’t ending. There’s always tomorrow.

[PHILLIP] Not really in the mood for whatever manufactured committee-drafted feel-good bullshit you found off Facebook, Aunty.

[PHYLLIS] Well, I don’t know what you want me to say. If you want a brighter future, obviously it’s going to be in the shadow of your past. Phillip, I know first-hand how our family operates, but you can’t allow yourself to become hopeless. They’ll sink you like an anchor otherwise. I’ve seen you try and I’ve seen you happy, I know who makes you happy.

[PHILLIP] Yeah . . .

[PHYLLIS] I honestly don’t know what you’re still doing here.

[JEAN] I spoke to my mother the other day.

[PHILLIP] Oh, really?

[JEAN] Yes, really. I was all alone in a foreign country after a multi-hour temper tantrum. It seemed like a mom-worthy emergency. I told her the truth about you, too, I thought she would be upset, or at least tell me that I was clearly being taken advantage of. But she didn’t; she just sort of listened until I was all talked out.

[JEAN] I miss her. I really do. It feels like everyone just leaves for no reason. My dad was killed by a drunk driver on the 905. There one day and then gone the next. Don’t even remember him,  but I thought I’d always have my mom. I guess I still do, even if . . . Look, I know I’m selfish. Mom just wants to be where she feels she belongs. Me of all people should be able to relate to that.

[PHILLIP] You’re not selfish, Jean, and I’ve been meaning to apologize. I’ve been treating you horribly. I wanted . . . growing up, my siblings and I learned there was a private side and public side. I wanted to protect you from the public side. I watched the press ruin my mother’s life from the outside in, same story with my ex-wife. I wanted things to be different this time, but I was just isolating you.

[JEAN] Phillip, I get it, like, part of me wants to be all Girl Power I-don’t-need-a-man-to-protect-me, but I don’t know what that type of exposure can do to a person, but I see the evidence in you. You never had anyone to protect you, your entire life.

[PHILLIP] When I was a boy, I was always admitted to the hospital well after midnight. I remember SUVs with blacked-out windows followed by dizzying helicopter rides over the city. My parents were terrified of the public knowing about me. Looking back, I was probably very lonely, but I told myself that the public didn’t need to know. Now, all these years later there is no such thing as private and public lies, my father lies indiscriminately, and I’ve realized that I’ve isolated myself, too. I’ve always been happier when I had someone, you know, there for me.

[PHILLIP] I want to be with you, Jean. I’m happy when I’m with you. I promise, I’ll put you above everything. Always. I like you, I like you a lot.

[JEAN] Yeah . . . and I love you, too.

#warwick.story #chapter two point five #arc: happiness over everything #ts4 story #ts4 royal legacy #ts4 edit #tw death #tw substance abuse #ch: jean #ch: phillip #ch: phyllis #✨

[rosetheex-editor]

[Video transcript start.]

[The transcript begins from someone's shirt pocket, two sets of footsteps heard walking up to a door. The door is swung open but the name “Ruby” and a handprint drawn in blood can still be seen.]

?: God… Am I really ready to do this?

[Voice identified: Rose Elizabeth Henderson.]

[The woman walks close to the door but stops, seemingly freezing in place.]

?: Is something wrong?

[Voice identified: Edgar.]

R: I uh… Didn’t think it would be this hard to walk in here… Haven't been in this room since june.

E: Do you want me to go first?

R: Can we walk in at the same time?

E: Oh, yeah, of course.

[The two people walk into the room at the same time, a dark blood soaked room. The walls and desks are covered in incoherent writing that can barely be seen.]

R: Hm… Ok… Forgot how creepy this fucking room was.

E: Yeah… I guess I never really looked around when I fought Emi here.

[Rose chuckles, walking over to one of the walls. A light from the phone makes it possible to read the words “MY FAULT.” and “REMEMBER.” written in blood.]

R: Huh… Forgot about that too.

E: Jeez… how old is all of this?

R: This section was probably written like a month or two before I got out… I think?

E: Fuckin’ hell, should we… go somewhere where there’s less or…?

R: It's fine… It's uh, kinda topical on why I asked to come here to talk with you.

E: Oh, well… should we sit down, then?

[Rose turns around to face Edgar, who is smiling softly at her, his eyes look tired, but he manages to play it off well enough. His hand goes up to brush a bit of hair out of his face, accidentally touching the bandages on a spot on his forehead, he flinches slightly, but doesn’t look away.]

R: You can, I think I'm going to stand.

[Edgar nods, and sits down on the floor, crossing his legs.]

R: Sorry for doing this all forty-eight hours after you got unmasked, but [Between awkward laughing.] I think if I waited any longer to talk about it I might go insane.

E: I don’t mind, I needed something to help take my mind off of it.

R: First, the only thing I was waiting to tell you. I fought Nicholas like a bit before he died. He broke my rib, I kicked his balls in and attacked him with your crowbar until…

E: Until…?

R: He switched it on me and almost crushed my windpipe in…

E: Jesus– That sounds… fucking terrifying.

R: Yeah um… Now you might be asking yourself ‘Wait, how did you stop him? Did someone help you?’ Yes… But you might not like who.

E: … [Slowly.] Eden…?

R: No Cassius.

E: Oh. [Long pause.] Why?

R: Well… Uh I have two… Technically three theories, might be right or wrong. A. He hates Nicholas for killing him and trying to take over PR, more than he hates me. B. He realized that if Nicholas killed me Ness would have um… Broken into the mall which Ophelia really doesn't want to happen. Or C. Both.

E: Huh… I… hm. I don’t know him, so I couldn’t tell you.

R: Me neither, I got my PR not being heartless info from Mari Ness and Will.

E: Same here, honestly.

R: Oh, and um… Alexander is kinda the MVP of being nice to us here in the mall, he literally sacrificed himself for Mari when Ruby attacked them, and played Mario Party with Sparrow and Peony after… Y'know.

E: Ah.

R: ANYWAY! Getting off topic. Why I brought you here.

E: Right, right, yeah.

R: I… I think I'm finally ready…

[Edgar tilts his head to the side, raising one eyebrow.]

R: I'm ready to try and move on… Not let Showfall have any guilt or past traumas to hold over my head anymore.

E: Oh. That’s… that’s a very big step forward, Rose. I’m proud of you.

R: Yeah… I brought you here, to tell you the whole truth of what happened with both Ruby and… Emi… And also to make a promise or two.

E: Sounds like a plan. Thank you for trusting me enough to do this, Rose.

R: Well… You're my dad… You deserve to know.

[Edgar nods.]

R: Guess I'll start with the easy one… Because Emi is obviously still alive.

E: Alright, tell me whenever you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere.

R: Ok… Um January 4th 2006, I was trying to escape with Ruby… She had a knife, I had an old computer. We had gotten split up. I ended up… In a very dark part of the mall when an employee. Emi. Ran up to me in the dark trying to attack me… I hit her 13 times with the computer… I had blood on the heels of my shoes for months… I didn't even know…

[Rose begins silently crying. The camera still facing Edgar.]

[Edgar reaches a hand out and pats Rose on the shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.]

R: Thanks I um… God…

E: You’re fine, you didn’t know. You did what you had to.

R: Hm… I god… Why am I trying to drag this out…

E: It’s a tough subject. I do the same thing sometimes.

R: I have to talk about it eventually…

E: But that doesn’t make it any easier. Take all the time you need, Rose.

R: Here I have the perfect idea to try and make this a bit easier…

E: Hm?

[Rose throws a semi large bag into frame, clearly having taken it off her back. After a deep breath she reaches down and pulls a box out of the bag.]

E: What’s that?

R: The gift Ruby left in the vent hideout, still haven't opened it.

E: Oh, alright. You’re… going to open it here?

R: No time like the present right?

E: Haha, present. [Slight pause.] Yeah, sorry.

R: Ok… Here we go.

[Rose holds the present for roughly 5 seconds before sighing.]

R: Wait… Fuck.

E: Do you want some help?

R: Yes please, I kinda uh… Forgot.

[Edgar reaches forward to help Rose open the present.]

[Rose's whole torso moves to look inside the box, inside is a red sweater with Rose's on it, a VHS tape, a photo and on the bottom a red blanket.]

R: Oh…

E: That’s… huh. That’s very sweet.

R: It's uh… I think I recognize the blanket actually…

E: Oh?

R: Yeah it's um… The one I had when I was little…

E: Aw.

R: The sweater is um… Hm… It's too big.

E: Maybe we could… hm. Well, I’m not the best at sewing, at least with actual clothing, so…

R: Ruby told me… Give stuff to people in need so…

[Rose grabs the sweater and slowly hands it to Edgar.]

R: You need a sweater… And a change of clothes. Dried blood can't be good for your skin

E: I– are you sure? That’s a gift from your sister, I wouldn’t want to take that away from you.

R: It means more to me if I get to use it to help you… Ruby would've wanted me to help people in need.

E: [A long pause.] Alright. Thank you, Rose. Genuinely.

R: No problem, now um… Ok fuck… I can't ignore the elephant in the room.

E: Yeah, you ready to keep talking?

R: I think so… Ready to hear the whole story of mine and Ruby's fight?

E: Mhm.

R: [A long pause.] So a few months before I escaped… Ruby had um came back to the hideout covered in wounds from a fight, she was telling me everything was fine… It clearly wasn't… She had um… I only found out towards the end that… She overheard Mai talking about Sparrow, and how she ‘Didn’t know Ruby had a kid.’

E: Hm.

R: Yeah, she shoved me out of the way telling me not to worry about it… She told me some things are better left hidden, she got more mad and brought up our mom's affair… I stabbed her in the leg…

[Edgar’s eyebrows crease inward, then they raise slightly. He seems to have connected a few things.]

R: She walked off and I followed… Screaming at her, she told me… About Sparrow… Well at least that she ‘Had a kid.’... I pushed her for keeping shit from me…

[Edgar nods, encouraging Rose to keep going.]

R: [Between crying.] Three employees came running, Ruby pushed me behind a column and was dragged away… I watched as they took her from me, I did nothing… I watched as she begged for her life…

E: Rose, come here.

[Edgar holds his arms out, and the two hug.]

R: [Sobbing.] I watched her plead for her fucking life and did nothing… I… I…

E: I know, I know. Let it all out, Rose. I’m here.

[Rose continues sobbing, the camera obscured by Edgar's shirt.]

R: [Still sobbing.] I don't want to lose anyone… Ever ever again… Not here…

E: You won’t. I’ll make sure of it, you won’t lose anyone else.

R: That reminds me… The promises…

E: Hm?

R: First… I'm never letting you go anywhere by yourself again… I can't lo- Let anyone lose you again… And don't want to lose you again…

E: Woah– that’s… that may be a little extreme, yeah?

R: Edgar. I have lost you. SEVEN fucking times now, never again.

E: That’s… fair. But I don’t want you getting hurt somehow because of this.

R: I have three bullets in my fucking gun, realistically I only need two to get everyone out. Also, I roundhouse kicked the head of PR in the fucking head once.

E: It’s not fighting that I’m worried about, we’re both actually kinda good at that, it’s… running. I don’t know if you can keep up if we need to sprint.

R: Edgar. I'm fast. As fuck. We've been over this.

E: Speed and endurance, Rose. I can run for… well, hours if need be. I don’t know how well you can do with that.

R: I ran from this room to the window I escaped from in record time, and besides I have… Decent endurance, not great but good enough.

E: If we’re talking about speed with escaping, I carried you from Mai’s office all the way outside.

R: I… Probably could have ran. Also, didn't she literally say there was a window open?

E: Er… yeah. I just… didn’t want to leave without causing some damage.

R: Anyway… Second promise. I promise you, either both of us are getting out or neither of us are.

E: That’s… again, yeah, that’s a little fair. But… Hm.

R: I'm not leaving any more family behind.

E: … Alright.

R: Y'know even if you don't think you deserve escape, Which I can tell dude… Experience… You do deserve that.

E: How the fuck–

R: Edgar, I tried 37 fucking times before I got out… I have felt like I didn't deserve to escape more times than I can count.

E: Yeah, you’re… you’re right.

R: If you ever doubt that fact, remember something A… Woman much wiser than me said… Have to switch it a little bit though…

[Rose coughs.]

R: Despite everything… You're still my dad Edgar, NOTHING will ever change that.

E: I… Thank you.

R: Of course, ugh… Feels nice… Finally talking to someone about everything…

E: Yeah, it feels great to talk about shit like that, but it’s really easy to forget that. I would know a lot about that last bit.

R: Hm yeah… When we get back you should uh, probably talk to Mari about taking a break from planning for a day. They literally have not slept since you got back.

E: I’ll talk to them.

R: Yeah um… Also, S- [Long pause.] Sparrow needs to talk with you.

E: Thanks for letting me know.

R: Yeah, um… Do you just want to talk about stuff? I uh, have a game I really liked when I was a kid.

E: Hm… maybe, yeah. I don’t know. What’s the game you liked?

R: Super mario RPG for the super nintendo.

E: Huh, I’ve never heard of that.

R: IT'S REALLY FUN! LIKE REALLY REALLY FUN!

E: Oh? I’d love to play it sometime, then! Maybe we could do a playthrough together!

R: They made a remake on the console thingy Ness bought me… But I didn't get to play it before y'know…

[Rose's hand pops into frame to sarcastically point at the mall.]

R: THIS.

E: Haha, yeah… when we get out, we can play it together.

R: It'll be fun, maybe I can play half-life. I actually think Mari said something about buying it on my computer I think…

E: Wait, really?

R: Yeah! Something about it being free?

E: That’s awesome! I didn’t know that was a thing at all!

R: You can play it if you want? In all honesty you might have more luck getting my computer away from Sparrow then I do.

E: That would be great, actually.

R: Cool, I'll ask Peony about it when we get bac- ACTUALLY… That’s something I wanted to ask you about, do you trust Peony? I mean… I do, but after everything that happened?

E: I… trust them if Sparrow does.

R: Fair… I just… I'm glad the kid is happy.

E: Same here.

R: I… Hm nevermind…

[Rose sighs seemingly upset.]

E: What’s up?

R: Cassidy tried fighting against the mask on the island…

E: Oh.

R: I just… I want to help her… I know I can't but I want to.

E: We’ll figure something out.

R: I… Sparrow told Delilah, they didn't want to lose you like they lost Cassidy…

E: … Ah… Um.

R: Yeah… I just… I know what it's like to leave a sibling behind… I don't want Sparrow to go through that even if they aren't siblings by blood.

E: Mhm…

R: On a happier note, Ness bought you something for when you get out, she bought it around the time Will found you in the tunnels I think…

E: Really? What?

R: Got you new head rests for the car, and also a bunch of doctor pepper.

E: Aw, that’s nice of her.

R: Yeah… Hm…

E: I… huh.

R: What’s up?

E: Is it really that simple? Just… ask someone to talk and then… do that?

R: I mean, yeah… Sometimes. Why do you ask?

E: I guess I just never realized that.

R: Took me a while to figure it out… I uh, did you wanna talk?

E: … maybe later.

R: Ok… Hm… Ugh.

[Rose can be heard headbutting the metal desk, seemingly out of annoyance.]

E: Hey, let’s not do that, alright? You’re going to hurt yourself.

R: She's under that mask dad… Cassidy is still there, and there is nothing any of us can do… Makes me feel useless…

E: [A sigh.] I get that. We’ll figure it out. I promise we’ll help her.

R: I… We have to figure something out… please…

E: We will.

R: Ok… I uh… Sorry… For getting you caught up in the middle of my stuff with Emi…

E: Don’t apologize, Rose. It’s fine. I’d rather be caught up in this than not be, because this way, I can help you.

R: [Muffled.] You're the best dad an idiot like me could've asked for.

E: Hey, you’re not an idiot. Don’t say that about yourself. You’re smarter than a lot of people I’ve met. Negative self talk is not going to fly anymore.

R: I got my arm ripped off thinking my sister was still alive… A smart person wouldn't do that.

E: Yes, but a grieving person would. You weren’t in a good state of mind. You’re okay, Rose. You’re not dumb, you’re not a screw-up. You’re my fucking daughter, and I wouldn’t want anyone else but you to have that spot.

R: I…

[Rose can be heard beginning to cry once again, the tears seemingly not going to stop for a while.]

R: [Crying, this lasts for the rest of the transcript.] Thank you… Thank you dad…

E: It’s no problem, if you ever need that reminder again, I’ll be right here.

R: Yeah I uh… Fucking hell…

E: Hold on. [A pause.] Oh, you’re kidding.

R: W- What?

E: Transcript light.

R: GOD DAMNIT, END TRANSCRIPT.

[Transcript ended.]

#((OOC) TW blood) #((OOC) ask to tag) #showfall ask blog #encoreverse blog #rose

[sifasdt]

SIFAS Daily Theatre Classic: 2022-02-11

(Transcription after the break.)

[Image transcription:]

SIFAS Daily Theatre for 2022-02-11

Other Self?

Shizuku: I've just realized something.... Umi-san, You-san, you are also in two different clubs like me, right? That means you both also live two separate lives.... That's right! I'm talking about your second self! Both of you are also enjoying life as your other self, right!?!? Umi: Eh? But I'm only one person, though....? You: That's a very you-like thing to say, Shizuku-chan~ Shizuku: Eeeh!? So you mean.... the two of you don't have a second self? Even though you're juggling two clubs? Umi: Umm.... I don't know how to say this, but I don't think so.... You: I've never thought about it like that. But it certainly sounds interesting. How does your drama club self differ from your idol club self, Shizuku-chan? Shizuku: As my drama club self, I hope everyone who sees my play will be moved by it, even just a little bit. But as my idol self, I want to continue striving for the best and hope everyone who sees my performance.... Huh? It's the same....? Umi: Fufu, I guess both Shizuku really want to move people's hearts, don't they? You: Yeah, and I'm sure you can do it, Shizuku! You're working twice as hard for both the drama club and the idol club, after all! Shizuku: I-, is that so? Then I will continue to give it my all! Thank you so much, Umi-san, You-san!

[End transcription.]

#love live #sifas #sifas daily theatre #shizuku osaka #umi sonoda #you watanabe

[chaotic-plotter]

answers for @folieadeuxserver, from weird questions for writers. thank you for indulging me <3 <3

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

i'm less often haunted by content than i am by style or by presentation. when i'm haunted, i've encountered something i can't forget because i can't fathom how someone puts together a story in X way or thinks to put words or story elements together in the way that they do. sometimes i'm just haunted by a good bit of prose, but it's usually accompanied by one of those things i just mentioned. sometimes it's in a way that feels devastating. other times it's in a way that makes me want to figure out how they did that so that i make myself feel that way when i read my own stuff.

plenty of things have made me feel this way! oftentimes my friends' work does. i admire them greatly and i would like to get better at the things they're amazing at! sometimes i can't, because it's just the way their brain puts story elements together, but sometimes it's a conscious thing they've worked on or developed and i try to learn what i can from them.

i've never been haunted by my own stuff in the same way, but there is a certain feeling to reading something you wrote with a certain intention and realizing that intention has come across. that it works. i'm very proud when it works. it feels like i'm just holding my breath and scribbling a lot of the time.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

emotionally difficult? nothing, really, even the very dark shit. but technically difficult, i suppose, is romance. i really struggle with pulling romantic feelings from the subtext and especially struggle with getting characters to a place where they can talk about those things instead of around them. i have a hard time believing romance in so many stories, so it's hard for me to even write something i feel is believable or satisfies me, and i am picky as fuck.

i find character trauma, as a concept, decently easy to write about. not just as a piece of backstory to "explain" them, but how it informs or doesn't inform the way they carry themselves, speak, interact with other people. that sort of thing is sometimes used like "ding ding, now that you've locked my Traumatic Backstory(tm), i am now available for Fixing or Character Development" and i try to do something different than that.

do i succeed? unclear. but i do try.

i'm aware i should also probably lighten up. :P my stories could use some jokes. now there's a thing i wish i was better at! being funny!

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

so much gets left on the cutting room floor. just. so much.

for my original fiction project, it's the family trees i've made and the dozen of West Virginia oral history transcripts i've read and what old pine tar smells like. i've done a lot of detail work on how keys were produced in the late 1800s. i've watched a number of videos of how to dress a deer and literally pack it out on your back by folding it into a little deer backpack. there's a lot of eastern band of cherokee lore i've read, but won't be using, as it's not mine and i don't know what was stolen or is just made up or contextless, but i felt it was important to at least look into it. it's tough to think about what will/won't make it in, since if this goes where i want it to, i'm not exactly the final arbiter.

for the fic project i'll be returning to first after my hiatus, there's SO much climbing information that isn't going to make it in, but naturally has to inform how will, in this place where he is a hobby climber, talks and thinks about what he's doing. i know some of it already, but i write that fic with google ready and open to help me with proper technique and terminology to at least use as a spring-off point. there's actually a fair bit of detail for this world, the world of the luminous dead, that i expanded on and built out and i feel like most of that has gone in? i want to figure out how to include margot/alana, at least in passing, but we'll see if that works.

if you'd like to do this meme, too, feel free to send me asks or comment or what

#thanks FAD! #i love answering writing questions that might be a bit off the beaten path

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

🌿🤲🕯🍉

ooh thanks for sending this in! had to dig deep for some of these, hehe.

Fic Writer Asks

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Like flying, on good days. Like I'm the livewire between some great sea made up of A Story and my computer. Sometimes it's like I'm a subtitler/transcript writer for the characters talking inside my skull. I'm never an active participant and when the writer juice is juicin', it's easy to listen and watch and put everything down on paper. It's one of the few activities where I'm totally focused (rock climbing and martial arts are the other ones, LOL.)

On bad days, it's like pulling teeth. Like the characters are having conversations but the fuckin door is closed and lined in poor soundproofing material, so I can tell they're doing stuff in there, and catch snatches of interactions, but nothing I can turn into a narrative.

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

THE DAMN PROPHESIES AND VISIONS OUT OF MY SKULL!!

In all seriousness though, I get a lot out of writing. It's relaxing, it lets my scattered brain fixate on One Thing for a bit, and it makes me feel productive and satisfied in a way that few other things can manage. It makes me happy :)

Also hearing that my fics can make other people feel things is. Huge to me. It's tangible proof I can connect with other people on an emotional level, that something I made meant something. I can't go into full on Atsushi mode and say that tells me It Is Okay to Be Alive but it does soothe the "nothing you do matters" nihilistic urges.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

Mmmm. This one. Writing it was like pulling the ugliest parts of myself out into daylight and turning it into a fictional argument. This dovetails real nice into the next question too.

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

I write a lot when I'm depressed. The stuff that comes out of me in periods like that isn't necessarily my best works, because it's all...raw. There's a long process that my experiences have to go through before they're distant enough from Me, Quinn, the Writer, that I can put them into a fic without feeling strange about it; this gets expedited when I'm in a bad place. I'm already fairly prolific normally but the sheer amount of writing I do when I'm sad is unhinged.

What We Left in the Ashes (from which a chapter is linked above) is 98k written in a period of about two months. They were a bad two months considering I was in a crumbling relationship and in denial about it, plus knee deep in a toxic ass fandom on top of struggling mentally. I didn't realize that I had projected all my conflicted feelings about my relationship into Prayers to Imminent Tragedy until much later, but it just goes to show that writing is a way for me to express feelings that I don't want to examine closely in the moment. For that, it's a goddamn invaluable tool.

It should also be noted that I write a lot when I'm happy, too. The fics are usually a lot better quality, and come out slower :)

#narky!! #fic writer asks #ahhh this got a lil heavy and personal sorry T-T

[betawooper]

[ID: A bunch of Discord messages sent by a user named AAAAAA Battery, which are about Omniscient Reader. Transcript:

just had a realization that i switched from saying "yoo joo is a lesbian, the transfemininity came free with her fucking xbox" to "no wait yoo joo is transfem, its the lesbianism that came free with her fucking xbox" and there is in fact a Difference i swear

[11:29 PM]im just thinking about situations where she interacts with seolhwa and came to the conclusion that yknow, i dont think she really thought too hard about her attraction to women until seolhwa comes into the picture and it kinda hits her like "hm. well. idk if seolhwa is gay or not which is the problem here"

[11:30 PM]she is gay but thats beside the point, seolhwa kinda looks like a stereotypical "straight woman" for all intents and purposes

[11:33 PM]and this has never really been a problem before the realization obviously, thats now complicated

[11:35 PM]yoo joo also has a very unique relationship with her attraction to women which i think ive talked about before, but essentially it causes a lot of problems which couldve been avoided if she was as loveless as dokja

[11:38 PM]it makes her trust women too easily, it makes their deaths hurt a lot more should she get attached, yadda yadda

[11:40 PM]even when she still thought she was a cishet man, her view on her own attraction to women has always been a little negative this whole time

[11:44 PM]and after the realization, she also has to confront the fact that she may not even be compatible with potential partners bc unfortunately orv does take place in a world similar to our own and straight people are the norm rip

[11:47 PM]this all culminated into her kind of squashing what little hope she had in ever having a normal relationship with someone, bc after being cracked this does mean in order for her to have a serious relationship, that requires her to actively seek it out which goes against her previously established principles

[11:49 PM]its a lot easier to naturally fall into a relationship when its a man and a woman in this society

[11:51 PM]girl, you are so fucking lucky seolhwa wants you carnally regardless of how she perceives you i swear

End ID.]

heres why focusing a little more on yoo joo’s attraction to women would have greatly improved the narrative (1/327)

#some of this shit could even apply to canon like the fact that she isnt aroace #could still have helped her foil dokja even more in the allo aro kind of way #yoo joo would certainly covet dokja's lack of attraction to anyone #and i think that i did have dokja in my au understand she doesnt like that her attraction to women subconsciously clouds her judgment #[goes on and on and on and on and-] #sauce reads orv #transfem yjh au #transfem yoo joo au

[jarredlharris]

Live-threading my thoughts while listening to the Thereafter podcast episode featuring Celeste Irwin.

The following is a transcript of the live-thread I posted while listening to Therafter podcast episode 103.

Okay folks, it's time to live-thread my thoughts while listening to the most recent episode of @thereafterpodcast! Let's do this!

.@thepursuinglife and @cortlandcoffey are going on about how great the Tuesday morning Clubhouse chats are. They really are amazing. @thereafterpodcast

.@cortlandcoffey and @thepursuinglife are offering alternatives to doomscrolling and I love it. @thereafterpodcast

At the risk of damaging my relationship with @thepursuinglife, I just couldn't get into Gilmore Girls. But to each their own. @thereafterpodcast

A sign of how old I am: @cortlandcoffey said "I need my space," and my brain immediately screamed "TOM!" IYKYK @thereafterpodcast

Wait, there's a Hulu documentary about Black Twitter? Details, @cortlandcoffey! @thereafterpodcast

It's hard to believe that @cortlandcoffey and @thepursuinglife have only known each other for somewhere around four years. They seem like old friends at this point. @thereafterpodcast

On to the interview with @celestefinally! @thereafterpodcast

I miss the days when @cortlandcoffey framed the first question as a request to learn the guest's origin stories. We all need to feel like comic book characters from time to time. @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally mentioned her own journey from being LGBTQIA+ non-affirming to realizing trans. I can relate as a cis gay man. That journey can be wild. @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally mentioned that when she first came out, other trans people had trouble trusting her. I can understand that. On the flip side, I appreciated the gay person who came to my defense when a former colleague brought up my own non-affirming past in one group. I think there's a careful line we need to draw between understandably protecting ourselves and digging up other people's dirty laundry from their past. @thereafterpodcast

And yeah, there are times I think digging up dirty laundry from the past is 100% justifiable and even necessary. But to me, that just makes that line fuzzier and walking it that much more difficult. But it does not erase the line completely. At least that's my opinion. @thereafterpodcast

At any rate, I do respect @celestefinally for being able to understand and sympathize with those that were still wary at first. I think that's also a good thing. (I understood my own former colleague's issues with my past. After all, he was part of that past. I just appreciated the reassurance that my past wouldn't necessarily haunt me forever.) @thereafterpodcast

.@cortlandcoffey: "I never understood the people that seemed excited that God was a homophobe." 🔥 @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally is talking about having a vague sense of her transness at a much younger age, but didn't have the language for it. That seems to be a common theme I've seen. @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally mentioned evangelicals' claims that people deconstruct just because we wanted to sin and I'm trying REALLY HARD not to go into my usual rant on that topic. @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally: "Justice someday doesn't undo injustice done today." 🔥 @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally is talking about the positive impact transitioning has had on her life overall and I'm here for it. @thereafterpodcast

@celestefinally is talking about the things she considers when determining whether to continue engaging someone who says they're "in process" regarding LGBTQIA+ inclusion/affirmation and it's fantastic stuff. @thereafterpodcast

A mildly humorous play on words that occurred to me: @celestefinally is the transparent trans parent. (I never claimed to be original.) @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally is talking about the fact that people can do both beneficial and valuable things and harmful things and that's so important to keep in mind. @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally is talking about some of her own interactions with Julie Roys. This is an important thing people need to hear and know about it. @thereafterpodcast

.@celestefinally makes the powerful point that an unwillingness to take correction makes a person unsafe. @thereafterpodcast

So @thenewevangelicals is going to a Preston Sprinkle event? (May have already happened since this interview was recorded in March.) I'm imagining our own version of the Driscoll vs. Lindell fallout. @thereafterpodcast

So happy to hear @celestefinally mentioning @rabbidanyaruttenberg's book "On Repentance and Repair." (Which I still need to read.) @thereafterpodcast

Okay, please tell me I'm not the only person in deconstruction spaces that WASN'T inspired by RHE? (No actual shade to RHE. Her books weren't around yet when I left Christianity.) @thereafterpodcast

Another great episode! @thereafterpodcast

#Thereafter podcast #deconstruction podcasts #trans issues #religious queerphobia #Spotify