📌— Weekly Chan ; SKZ break!
This announcement has been a long time coming but I wanted to come here and let you know that I’ll be stepping away from creating skz content for the foreseeable future.
Tbh I didn’t know how to tell everyone that I wouldn’t be drawing for them anymore. Maybe, because I found myself comfortable with the community I found myself in but my passion to create fanart for them dwindled over the past few months. I held on thinking this is a fluke, but I think it's time for me to explore other interests of mine. I wanted to stay but I found myself frustrated with feeling like I'm putting myself in a box. honestly, it was the lack of traction or how hard it was for my work to be seen that was a big factor in wanting to leave. I stand by the fact that feedback is vital for an artist's motivation to continue making the things they do. The lack of it made me question if it was even worth continuing to draw for skz bc while I love them a lot, not having my works reach a larger pool of Stays was pretty taxing. also the fact I was hidden in the basement did not help :(
Sadly, my love for Chan couldn't soothe the creative frustration I was in. So I guess it's just time to go, step outside for awhile, and explore new worlds.
As a staytist, I want to thank you for liking my art 🥺 and I hope they were able to give some comfort or healing. Most of them were made out of sheer love for the group bc for a long time Stray Kids were my home. They provided me happiness that I wanted to share too. I’ll never forget reading the nice tags and the nice asks you’ve sent my way! Thank you for welcoming me to the fandom even though I don’t interact as much.
So I want to say, please love your content creators. editors, writers, fanartists— the whole nine yards bc without them you can feel the lack of an integral part of the fandom experience. If their works make you happy and you want to see more from them: share their work, send them love and asks, comment, engage— anything that can help share their work around bc we spend so much time creating things out of love for free! Let them know you appreciate the work they’ve put into the things they love. The least we ask for is to share works we spent lots of time on.
Thank you for reading! I hope I can still see you around while I make art for other interests. Under the cut will be about Weekly Chan updates and a more in depth explanation/ goodbye letter/ final thoughts since the important stuff has been said.
Weekly Chan has 19 more portraits to go before I can say I’m officially finished with the project. So, I’ll be working on those on/off because more than anything, I want to see it done. Weekly Chan started as a normal dedicated fan project for Bang Chan (mainly out of Chanrot) that became a source of wanting to spread warmth to fellow stays much like how Chan does weekly through Chan’s Room.
I made a goal of 100 portraits by his birthday, and since I’m close to finishing it I’ll be seeing it through 💖 as a gift because Chan has done a lot for me, like an extra booster when I feel like I’m doing things alone. There is no definite end date since I'll take my time finishing it. He is, after all one of the stars I cherish the most.
Tbh aside from the whole art-related stuff. Around March, I think I was already finding myself detaching from skz. It was like a gradual loss of motivation to keep following them. I'm sure if you were a follower of my @/mocimori blog you've heard me cry over it a couple of times. Mainly it was a culmination of many things but the speed the community was going (lovestay > oddinary) and over saturation made me feel what I felt towards Genshin twt's fast paced consumption of new content.
getting tickets to their Maniac Tour was what broke the chiamel's back. I was tasked to secure tickets so my fam and my friend can watch the show with me, but I underestimated how stressful it was. No amount of preparation could prepare me for ticketing day. The fact that there was no membership pre-sale made it 10x more stressful it was as if we were on the hunger games as involuntary Katniss Everdeens at the quarter quell. It was that bad. I ended up sick from the preparation stress and the crushing weight of not being able to secure even 1 ticket. Eventually, I did manage to secure tickets when they open sales for Newark D1 but the exhaustion I felt stuck to me like tar.
I think I was just hoping to go back to the way it was. The ticketing left a bad taste in my mouth and omo, this is a fault of mine but messy fandom stuff will slip in my radar even though I try to keep my feed negative-free. Then I heard about how Staytists were being treated by fellow Stays (reposting of art w/out consent, rating fanart on tiktok — basically just disrespectful behavior) I had a hard time trying to reconnect afterwards.
Also this post is getting way too long so I shall tl;dr what was going on with my Chan ult'ing journey but eventually the sparks just faded out. It was probably a combination of so many things and the pressure of wanting to draw Chan on a weekly basis, sometimes 3-5x a week that it just… took its toll on me…
it came to a point where I would cry over Chan at random hours of the day. I missed him, I felt guilty bc suddenly he was no longer the center of my thoughts. I felt guilt bc I knew people knew me as that Chan fanartist. It was silly, how I let a kpop boy affect me this much but I held him with the highest regard. He was my star; out of all the biases I ult'd he had the most special position and was a symbol of hope. Having a hard time relate to him, feeling so detached made me feel bad. As if the security blanket was ripped away from my fingers.
sometimes, I still cry over him. It's no longer as bad as that time I cried over him for a week or two straight. I reflected a bit because yeah, it was a bit silly of me but when he was the source of all my hope when I felt like I had no one— even if it was that small of an interaction, I felt like what I'm feeling is valid. So, yeah, I just feel like it's ok for me to let go now. I think it was more of my fear of leaving behind a community that made me want to stick around. Other than the pressure, I just feel like throughout the last few months I lost what little creativity I had bc I wanted to follow trends, I had to box this outlet for the sake of accuracy and aaah idk it was just not healthy anymore.
i'll still support the Kids in my own way. At the end of the day, they're still my ults and I love the music they make. But I wanted to write this so you won't worry wth happened to me and the skz art. It's not really a goodbye but maybe, a see you soon!
thank you for everything!
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THANK YOU, JAKE ✦ S.JY
pairing tasp!jake x news intern!fem reader
summary when you told your friend about the challenge that your boss put you on in order to work on the company, which was taking a picture of the amazing Spider Man, Jake makes it come true.
genre fluff
warnings both of them like each other, cameo of Jay and Ri-Ki, everything is NYC and I tried to make it short for the other one that I'm planning to make it in the future <3
a/n I can finally get this one up here, I'll do the second part with smut, but Jake's fluff is already needed in this profile. This is my last little present for my em @cmoundiamante (and worst of all, it's late, but I blame my country for that :p), but I'm glad to finally publish it. I know you had an amazing time on your birthday and I want you to look at this little gift as something that can cheer you up for everything you've been through, I'll be there for you and I hope you like it very much. shout out to the editor of THIS Jake Spider-Man, my jupi @glitterjay and also to my lovely moot @ja3yun, this is the spidey!jake I was preparing ;)
wc +3.0k
It was one of those days where everything seemed to conspire against you. As you trudged through the bustling streets of New York City, your camera bag heavy on your shoulder, you couldn't shake off the feeling of exhaustion that clung to you like a stubborn shadow. The sweltering heat of the summer sun only added to your irritation as you made your way to the Daily Bugle, where you were interning as a photographer.
Your future boss, Mr. Jameson, was notorious for his gruff demeanor and demanding nature. Today seemed to be no exception, as he barked orders at the staff, his voice reverberating through the newsroom like thunder. Your friend, Jay, was massaging his forehead, and you couldn't help but go there first. He looked up to see you and gave you a tired smile.
"Rough already?"
"And it's not even 9 a.m." Jay spat in anger, and you opened your bag to give him some of the jelly you always carry around. He took them slightly happier, opening as he started talking again. "He's putting stupid challenges on everyone here. Rumor has it that he's getting jealous of the other newspaper company since they took the #1 place from us."
"Well, wish me luck." You braced yourself for another onslaught of criticism as you approached his desk, hoping to avoid his wrath.
"Ah, there you are," Mr. Jameson said, his tone dripping with impatience. "I've got a special assignment for you."
You felt your heart sink at his words, knowing that whatever task he had in store would likely be arduous and thankless, just like Jay said. But you nodded, steeling yourself for whatever was to come.
"I want you to get me a picture of Spider-Man," he said bluntly, his eyes narrowing in a challenging glare.
Your jaw nearly hit the floor at his request. Spider-Man? The elusive vigilante who swung through the city was a hero to some and a menace to others. Getting a photo of him in action was no small feat, and you knew it.
"But how am I supposed to…" you began, but Mr. Jameson cut you off with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"I don't care how you do it; just get it done," he said firmly. "And make it front-page material, or you'll be out of your ear."
With that ominous warning hanging in the air, you felt a wave of panic wash over you. How were you supposed to capture a photo of Spider-Man when you could barely catch a break in your own life? Desperation clawed at your chest as you racked your brain for a solution. He looked at Jay, and he was with his mouth open. She was simply screwed.
The hours passed slowly, and 7 o'clock of the night finally reached, which made you fly to the only place you find comfort at the moment. Shim Jake's place. Feeling all the weight on your shoulders, you sigh as you knock on the door. His aunt opens before your knuckles can touch the door.
"Hey darling… Oh no, bad day?" like a button, your eyes got watery, and she hugged you. You hold your tears as she loses you in the warm hug. "I'm going to buy food. Jake and Ni-Ki are in the room. I know what you like."
"You are truly the best, May."
"I know, darling. Go." She left you, and you entered the house, going directly to the Australian boy's room. You knocked, and you heard things falling.
"Who's it?"
"Who else, Ni-Ki? Come on, I had a bad day, and I need you guys."
"Hold on a second!" A few seconds passed, and Jake was the one who opened the door, his messy hair, sweat pant and big white shirt and hsi big glasses that made him look more handsome than usual in front of you. "Hey lensgirl, what's wrong?"
You went for a hug, this time with tears going down and your crying getting noticeable.
Jake was taken aback by your sudden display of emotion, immediately wrapping his arms around you in a comforting embrace. "Hey, hey, it's okay," he murmured softly, rubbing your back soothingly. "What happened? Why are you crying?"
You sniffled, trying to compose yourself as you pulled away slightly. "It's just… work," you managed to choke out between sobs. "Mr. Jameson… He wants me to get a photo of Spider-Man for the front page, and I- I don't know how to do it. I'm so screwed, Jake."
Jake's expression softened with understanding, though you had no idea just how much he truly understood. "Hey, it's okay," he repeated, guiding you to sit on his bed. "We'll figure it out, okay? You're not alone in this."
Ni-Ki, hearing the commotion, poked his head out from behind the doorframe. "Jake can help," he said, and you could feel Jake getting tense. You looked up to Ni-Ki.
"What?"
"Jake knows Spider-Man. You could get the picture." You open your eyes as your eyes travel again to Jake's.
"Since when?!" You practically shouted at him, and he gave a shy smile, which you loved, but the thought of him being friends with the hero and not telling you was in your mind.
"I'll tell you right after you clean and calm yourself. You know what? Go to the bathroom." As you were protesting, Jake obligated you to go inside. The boys went straight to the room and locked it, Jake basically punching Ni-Ki for opening his mouth.
"Are you being serious?! Why did you say that?"
"You know I'm fond of her, and I can't stand her crying. And also, I'm doing you a favor; you've liked her since forever, and with this, you can make a move. And you know that she loves Spider-Man. I consider this a win."
Jake's heart raced as he processed Ni-Ki's words. He couldn't deny the truth about them. He had harbored feelings for you for what felt like forever, but he never found the courage to act on them, and because of the sudden powers he got after being bite by a spider, the dangers were too much to the point he would rather die with the secret in order to keep you save. That's how much he loved you.
But at the same time, he couldn't help but feel the weight of responsibility settling on his shoulders. Keeping his identity as Spider-Man a secret was crucial, and now, with you unknowingly on the brink of discovering the truth, he felt the pressure mounting.
Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Jake turned to Ni-Ki. "Okay, okay," he muttered, running a hand through his hair in agitation. "But we have to be careful. She can't know about this, Ni-Ki. It's too risky."
Ni-Ki nodded solemnly, understanding the gravity of the situation. "I won't say anything else, I promise. Only you have to stay cool, you get to nervous around her. I'm surprise you're not right now" he assured Jake.
"Because someone open his mouth"
"Stop crying and be grateful. I pulled a move that you couldn't make for the past 4 years."
It has already been two days since that weird conversation and the explanation of Jake being friends with Spider-Man. It was so odd to you, but the most odd thing was when he told you by text, "I will send you the address where he's going to be."
And here you were, going into the alley for him to arrive. It was getting late, and you could feel your heart beating fast when you saw a few guys in there, cigars in their hands, their auras as bad as how they looked.
"Hey, sweetheart," one of them said, which you ignored completely.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you ignored the leering comments from the men in the alley. You clutched your camera bag tightly, feeling a surge of unease as you realized just how vulnerable you were in this dimly lit space.
Just as panic threatened to overtake you, a familiar sound cut through the tension—a whoosh of air followed by the distinct thud of impact. Before you could even process what was happening, Spider-Man descended from the shadows, landing gracefully in front of you with his trademark agility.
"Hey there, fellas," Spider-Man said, his voice tinged with a hint of amusement. "I don't think the lady appreciates your company."
The men scoffed, eyeing Spider-Man with a mixture of defiance and uncertainty. "And who are you supposed to be, huh?" One of them sneered, taking a step forward. You started taking your camera out of your bag, setting it up for a good shot, and to make it take as many photos as you could as both men focused on the hero.
Spider-Man's demeanor shifted subtly, his stance becoming more assertive as he addressed the group. "Let's just say I'm the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and I'm not too keen on seeing people hassle innocent bystanders, especially this pretty girl," he replied, his tone firm.
The men hesitated, sizing up the masked vigilante before them. But before they could make another move, Spider-Man sprang into action, his movements a blur of speed and precision. With calculated strikes and well-timed dodges, he swiftly incapacitated the would-be troublemakers, leaving them groaning on the ground in defeat.
You watched in awe as Spider-Man effortlessly dispatched the thugs, a surge of gratitude welling up inside you. Once the immediate threat had been neutralized, Spider-Man turned to you, his masked eyes meeting yours with a sense of warmth and reassurance. You took your camera and looked at the pictures, so many good enough to be front page material.
"Are you okay there?" he asked, his concern evident even behind the mask.
You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you in his presence. "Yeah, I'm okay," you stammered, still trying to process the whirlwind of events that had just unfolded before you. You felt some drops of water falling on your face, looking up at the sky and wondering if more drops were falling. "Damn it, it's raining."
"Then let me take you out of here." without a warning, his hand wrapped around your waist, both of your bodies covering the camera. "Hold on tight lensgirl," you frown at the nicknmae. There's only one person that could call you like that, but you couldn't think much of it as you held dear life to him as he swang you around places.
You ended up on your apartment building—in your balcony, to be more exact—and the roof kept both of you off the water, you went inside for a moment to leave the camera in your bed and return. He was hanging from the ceiling as you watched him, forcing you to believe that everything that happened in the past ten minutes was not a dream.
"Don't you want to stand up? So you don't get dizzy."
"I like it this way. Don't worry. Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am. Thank you."
"No problem, that's my job."
"Because you're a hero," the masked guy sighs in front of you. making you feel slighty sad for it.
"Some people don't think so." and it was true, all the fake rumors to paint him as a bad guy made you think about how much free time all this people have to just tear the life of someone who really wants to help.
"But you are, at least I think that."
"It's nice to have a fan as pretty as you."
"Let me say thank you."
"But you already did."
"I meant the trip, not you saving me." You approached him more, and the sound of the rain at the back made the scene more lovely. Then slowly took the mask, only showing his lips. You were surprised by the familiar shape, making your mind go wild. No wonder Ni-Ki and Jake got nervous; no wonder Jake was the only one that could help you with the hero; and there's no wonder why he called you "Lensgirl."
Jake was Spider-Man.
Leaving your thoughts behind, you place your lips on his. The kiss was electrifying, a rush of emotions coursing through both of you as your lips met in a tender embrace. Raindrops fell softly around you, adding to the surreal moment as you shared this intimate connection with the masked hero who had just swept you off your feet—literally.
As the kiss deepened, you felt a sense of clarity wash over you. Everything suddenly made sense—the mysterious conversations, the unspoken tension between you and Jake, even the strange nickname he had given you. It was all because he was Spider-Man, the hero you had admired from afar, and now he was the man whose lips were pressed against yours.
Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in the kiss, the world fading away until it was just the two of you tangled together on that rooftop balcony.
"Thank you, Jake," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of the rain.
"Wait… how?"
"You let out "Lensgirl," and I've stared at your lips too much to actually know the shape," he finally dropped himself, taking off his mask completely, revealing his red cheeks and normal shy demeanor.
He actually searched your face for any sign of rejection. "I know it's a lot to take in," he said softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. "But I wanted to tell you, not in this way; I've got to learn to also shut my mouth up. I… I care about you more than you'll ever know."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you reached up to cup his face in your hands, the weight of everything finally sinking in. "I care about you too, Jake," you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "I just… I never imagined…"
Before you could finish your sentence, Jake leaned in to capture your lips in another kiss, sealing the unspoken words between you with a promise of something more.
With a smile on your lips and love in your heart, you leaned into Jake's embrace, letting the warmth of his touch chase away the chill of the night as you watched the city skyline glitter in the rain.
"Please write a good news about me."
"Trust me, you'll sure have it, Spidey."
"I just realized that I've to thank Ri-Ki, damn it."
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