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hey-there-love · 3 years

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Foolish

Summary: Being the new kid is hard right? Try moving across the world to attend the elite hero course at U.A. Unfortunately following the path of straight and narrow is difficult when you find a blonde ball of death throwing twists in it. Nobody said it was easy. New experiences, new friends, new interests...what could go wrong?

Chapter 3: Happy Tears

Content Warnings: adult language, cringy situations, eventual smut

WC: 2.5K

You all made your way to the kitchen and everyone began to make their plates. “Y/N get us some water and I’ll get the food!” Mina said sweetly before pointing you in the direction of the cups.

“Oh it’s alright Mina I can serve myself.” You said reaching for a plate.

“Y/N come on, what’s the Japanese food have you eaten before?” She said and swatted your hand away.

You looked down at your feet and responded quietly, “Sushi and Ramen.”

“Trust me. I’ll hook you up.” Mina laughed and ushered you off. You shrugged and grabbed your drinks before making your way to the long table to sit next to Yaoyorozu.

“So what is this meal that’s already making my mouth water?” You questioned staring at her plate.

“This is Yakisoba. It’s a summer time dish. It’s basically fried noodles, cabbage, vegetables, and pork all mixed up in a barbecue sauce. Iida, Koda, and Shoji prepared this together.” She said thumbing to the three chefs in the kitchen admiring their work. “Sato made a big cake for dessert to celebrate too!”

Mina returned and slid the plate in front of you. You all waited until everyone sat down before digging in. Iida began to clear his throat as he stood at the end of the table.

“Classmates! We usually don’t eat together like this due to conflicting schedules, but tonight is special. We welcome our new classmate Y/N to U.A!” There were cheers and bangs on the table, making you blush. “As outstanding students of this fine institution it is our job to make her feel as comfortable as possible with open arms! We begin classes again next week after our short break” There were some groans, he shot the objectors a look and adjusted his glasses before continuing. “Let’s not forget why we’re all here. To train to be the greatest heros of our generation! Make sure you’re caught up on all your reading and homework as we approach Monday!”

“Iida we love you dude, but can you wrap this up? We’re starving!” Kaminari snickered and elbowed Sero.

“Yes well...dig in!” Iida finished and sat back down. You carefully picked up your first bite with the chopsticks and placed it in your mouth. The explosion of flavors erupted in your mouth as you moaned slightly.

Uraraka raised her eyebrow at you and asked, “That good huh?”

You nodded quickly and wiped your mouth. “The chopsticks I’m sorta nervous about, but I swear I don’t think I want to eat American Japanese food ever again.”

Your side of the table laughed. “Yeah they don’t have shit on us.” Sero said popping his t-shirt, earning a laugh. The rest of dinner went by quickly. Before you knew it you were full and probably needed to be helped up from your seat.

“Oh god, I think I’m going to have to work out twice as hard tomorrow.” You groaned and put your hand on your forehead. Mina patted your back and agreed.

Afterwards all the girls migrated to the kitchen to clean up since the boys cooked.

You washed, Jiro rinsed, Tsu dried, Mina and Mimi packed up left overs, while Uraraka and Hakegure wiped down. There was a lot of dishes to wash, but you knocked them out fast since you were all chatting.

Come to find out you and Jiro had a lot of common music interests. “Finally someone has taste around here.” She commented.

“Hey! I’m sorry we all don’t appreciate rock, but she was literally singing Ariana Grande in the bathroom earlier!” Mina pouted pointing a spatula at you.

You put your hands up in defense. “What can I say? I’m a music fanatic. Rock and Rap are for working out, Pop is for good vibes and Alternative is for relaxing.”

“Good vibes?” Tsu pondered out loud.

“Sorry, I forgot figures of speech were a little different here. Good vibrations. Meaning you’re feeling at peace, happy, relaxed. You can also feel bad vibes which are the opposite.” You explained.

“Oh ok, so Bakugo gives off bad vibes?” Tsu asked putting two and two together. You all cackled.

“Yeah something like that.”

“I think he’s just got a wire loose somewhere up there.” Momo replied and pointed to her head.

“No that’s definitely Denki. That’s why he shorts out all the time.” Jiro shot back and threw her thumbs up in the air and started to look off into space. That made the girls laugh harder. You looked confused.

“Oh trust me you’ll see. It’s hilarious.” Hakegure said patting your head.

“I don’t think you should be talking about your man like that Jiro because we all know he makes that face infront of you than anyone else.” Mina retorted and smirked. Urarka slapped a hand over her mouth to cover her laughter as Jiro turned pink.

“Oh yeah? At least I don’t sneak pictures of Sero shirtless Mina.” She short back.

“It was one time!” Mina cried out. By this time everyone was breathless from laughing hard.

“Damn Mina! Seriously?” You howled and almost fell over.

“Atleast Bakugo didn’t touch my panties!” Mina said and then quickly shut her mouth. “Oh shit, I’m sorry” she choked out before all the girls turned to you and screamed out.

“WHAT?”

“Mina!” You hissed. You were flooded by questions as you had to retell the story you told Mina in confidence.

“I would literally die. Like you would have to bury me in the courtyard, Y/N. How are you still standing?” Momo grabbed her chest.

“Well...I guess it gave him something to remember me for?” You tried to make light of the incident.

“Oh don’t feel bad Y/N! Izuku has unfortunately seen mine too.” Uraraka said, attempting to make you feel better.

“Oh don’t act like he doesn’t sneak out of your room in the middle of the night Ochaco.” Mina said poking at her.

“Hey!” She cried out.

“Oh don’t act like it’s a secret the next day we ask him about his night and he turns as red as this plate.” Jiro retorted holding up the plate she finished rinsing.

You snorted and shook your head. “Wait, wait, wait. Who’s with who?”

“Well since you asked, Kaminari and Jiro are an item. Uraraka and Deku have this secret love affair brewing” Tsu said adding quotations around ‘secret’. “Momo is in love with the oblivious Todoroki.” She earned a glare from Yaoyorozu. “What? I call it like I see it. Hakegure and Oijiro are happily in love and Mina...well Mina just wants to get laid.”

Mina splashed Tsu slightly before smiling to herself. You kinda felt a little bad for sitting with Todoroki since you didn’t know, but Yaoyorozu seemed to be fine. “Well Ladies, I think kitchen duty is finally over." Uraraka said tying up the trash.

"Cool, I think i'm going to head up. I've got to call my parents." You said wiping off your hands. There was a chorus of good nights as you made your way to the elevator.

Once the doors closed you leaned against the wall and closed your eyes. You had a wonderful night. All the stress about not being accepted were completely squashed. This felt slightly like home. Once on your floor you opened your door and sat down in the desk chair.

Pulling out your phone you began to face time your mother . She answered on the first ring. Her smiling face came to view as she called for your father.

“Hey there’s our sweet girl! I’m glad you made it there safely!” His voice boomed through the speaker. You had a large grin planted on your face.

“I definitely did! No problems what so ever. Mr. Aizawa actually picked me up.” You explained rubbing the your head sheepishly.

“As he should. My baby girl shouldn’t be all alone in a foreign country! You know I could have easily flew with you there right?” Your father said.

“I know Dad, as much as a appreciate you, I have to learn how to be independent sometime.”

“Well, we know that sweetie. We’re just missing you so much, this is the first time you’ve been away without us protecting you.” Your mother started and began to choke up.

‘Oh boy, if she starts to tear up I’ll definitely start to cry’

“Momma please don’t cry. I’m fine. See I’m right here. I’ve got this cool dorm room, everyone is really nice here, and they’ve got a killer gym. I’m fine.” You said as your voice cracked.

“Oh our baby isn’t a baby anymore, Brandon.” She said looking up at your father. He gently kissed the top of her head.

Oh that was it. That threw you over the edge. You began tearing up. “We’re going to miss you so much sweetheart. These aren’t sad tears. This are happy tears. We’re so proud of you and all you’re becoming.” Your mother said leaning into your father. You got a lot of your fathers traits, but the cry baby trait you got from your mother.

There was a small rasp on your door as you turned to look at who the visitor was. Kirishma stood in your doorway with a sad smile. “Hey guys, I’ve gotta go. I’ve got some help with my room. I love you both I’ll call you tomorrow I swear.”

“We love you too, Y/N. Stay safe.” The face time hung up. You swiftly used your sleeve to wipe your eyes.

“Hey, come in.” You said and waved him in. He walked in quietly and shut the door.

“Are you going to be alright?” Kirishma asked putting a hand on your shoulder. That simple act of kindness sent you right back over the edge. Tears silently fell as you looked at your feet. He crouched down so you were eye level. “You know it’s been almost 2 years since we moved into the dorms and I still get home sick...” he trailed off. “I know this is a lot different than my situation though, but it’s okay to cry.”

You nodded slightly and continued to cry. He hesitated before figuring out what to do. “I hope I’m not crossing any boundaries, but is it alright if I hug you?” (we fucking love a man who asks for consent)

“I would actually really appreciate that, Kirishima.” You replied, then wrapped his arms around you. Deeply inhaling his scent, you rested your head on his shoulder. He squeezed you slightly and rubbed your back. He was an expert at comfort or you really needed a hug. Either way you basked in his warmth and your tears subsided. You both sat together, enjoying each other and the silence for a few more minutes before you pulled away.

“Feel better?” Kirishima asked searching your eyes for any more tears.

“Oh yeah, much better. Sometimes it feels good to let it out.”

“Trust me I know. I cry sometimes too. It happens and it’s manly to admit it.” He chuckled and stood up.

“Bullshit. You seriously cry?” You pondered, faking being shocked.

“It hurts me to think I wouldn’t. I’m sensitive and I think I just might now.” He said and began to sniffle. If all your stuff wasn’t boxed up you’d throw something at him. “Ready to get this party started?” Kirishima asked and rubbed his hands together.

“Yes, but first I have to take these contacts out because I feel like my eye is about to fall out.” You walked over to one of your suit cases pulling your glasses and contact cases out.

“Holy crap your a glasses nerd? Color me impressed.” His jaw dropped. You flipped him off and walked to the door.

You were about to walk out, but you turned around and called to him, “Hey, Kirishima.” He looked up. “You tell anyone this happened and I will end you.” You held up your glowing hand.

“Look, I literally just walked in and you said you were leaving to take your contacts out!” He threw his hands up in defense. You shut your door and padded to the bathroom. Once your contacts were removed you splashed some cold water on your face. You dried off and slid your glasses on.

“Holy shit, Iida shouldn’t you be using your own bathroom?” Bakugo said walking out of the shower with a towel his bare shoulders.

“Oh ha ha. You’re hilarious.” You said flinging water at him.

“Oh relax cherry it was a joke.” He said shaking his hair off in your direction.

“Ugh. Seriously. I smell like wet dog now.” You short back. You felt your cheeks heat at your newfound nickname.

“Pretty sure you smelled ten times worse when you crashed into me earlier.” He retorted and put the towel on his head to dry his hair. Since his eyes were closed you took the opportunity to look at him. His body was magnificent. Broad shoulders led into strong arms, his perfect pecs led to his toned stomach, a happy trail led straight into his shorts which hung deliciously off his hips. His v-line was like an arrow pointing straight to his-

“Oi, take a fucking picture it might last you a little longer.” Bakugo broke through your thoughts. You broke your gaze and stared at the counter top racking your brain for a witty response.

“Does that mean you’ll pose? I only take tasteful nudes .”

“Oh you take nudes? I didn’t peg you to be scandalous.”

“N-not me!” You squeaked.

“What a shame, I’d keep one tucked away close to my heart.”

“What heart?”

“The cold, black one that doesn’t mind seeing your thong, Cherry. ” Bakugo ended the battle by walking out the door.

Your heart banged against your chest. You were going to need more water after that.

Finally getting yourself together you went back into your room discovering Kirishima almost finished with the book shelf.

“Hey, good job! It looks great” You high fived him.

“You think? Who needs a hammer when you have me?” Kirishima said slamming the nails in place with his palm.

“Wow, my hero.” You could see a blush creep up his face.

You both worked quickly and diligently making your bed, filling up the book shelf, and organizing your desk. Pretty soon all there was left to do was put on the finishing touches.

“I think we make a good team, Kiri.” You said looking around at your work.

“I’d say so too. I’m gonna get going now it’s pretty late.” You nodded and walked him to the hallway

“Thanks again. For all of it. I’m glad I made a great friend today.” You said giving him a side hug.

“No problem. I’ll talk to tomorrow. Maybe we can work out or something.” Kirishima grinned and turned to walk away.

“Deal.” You called to him and watched him walk around the corner as you made your way to your room.

“KIRISHIMA?” Mina whisper yelled as her head popped out from her door way.

“Goodnight Mina!” You waved her off and shut your door. You quickly changed into a tank top and sweat pants and slid into bed. You fell asleep with a smile on your face.

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha #my hero academia #bakugo x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugou

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elle-stevens · 4 years

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The Break Up Blog - Day One Hundred and Forty Nine

My VPN is acting up again, so I’m blogging using my laptop tonight instead.

It’s been nice doing lots of typing on my laptop in recent days. My Cat and Robbie story is taking shape in a delightfully romantic way.

Who knew that Ariana Grande could be such a useful muse? I feel like a large portion of the world population could’ve clued me in on this fact a long time ago, hee hee.

Today was my last official day at my old job.

I took some time to walk around the school running track track and roam the hallways first thing in the morning. It felt surreal poking my head in through the doors of the homerooms where I taught so many of my students English, or tried to teach them at least.

I felt a bit like a ghost in a haunted house since most of the students are officially on holiday now and the classrooms were eerily empty.

After that, the day whizzed by with me helping C prepare some materials for her Murder/Detective winter vacation class. Lol, she’s really stoked about getting ready for police training when she goes back to the States in a month, so she’s turning her old students into miniature police detectives investigating crime scenes.

It’s an unusual concept for a children’s class, but I’m sure they’re having a blast learning new life skills from C. Plus, filling mini ziplock bags with powdered sugar and pretending it was cocaine was priceless!

When it finally came down to leaving, I went around my whole office to greet my colleagues one last time. It felt good to do that, even with my colleagues I barely interacted with for two years. I wanted all of them to know in some way that any help or kindness they gave me has always been greatly appreciated.

It felt nice showing a bit of my emotions at work and hugging my colleagues and exchanging Wechat contacts with a few of them. I hope they won’t forget me; I hope I won’t forget them either.

CI walked me out of school too because he didn’t want me to walk outside alone after saying goodbye to everyone, which was very thoughtful of him. And then he even hugged me goodbye outside the bus station near our respective homes, which surprised me in a good way. CI’s even more reserved than me and not big on expressing affection through physical contact. So I wasn’t planning to hug him goodbye today because I wanted to respect his personal boundaries. So it was nice that he broke his usual rules with me. Even though we only worked together for a year, I’m glad I met him. He’s such a great guy and become a good friend over time. I hope that he’ll still reach out whenever he needs help with stuff or just wants to chat. I’ll do my best to look out for him this year, especially with C heading back to the States. I’ll do the same with AS too since PE and his wife will be moving to the States too at the end of his work contract in August.

I went to the bank afterwards to withdraw some cash and just walked around near my neighbourhood for a bit. I felt pretty sad and lost after leaving my workplace. This is a new chapter in my life and I’m still not quite sure how to feel about it.

I got home and opened a gift and read a letter that one of my colleagues gave me yesterday. I just broke down and cried a for a while after that. The letter itself was simple enough, but the sentiment just wrung my insides out like a wet sponge. I sent some voice messages to other colleagues I didn’t get a chance to see before I left.

CH, G and D messaged me throughout the day, which was good too. I avoided messaging my loved ones all day because I was feeling emotional about my last day at work and wasn’t ready to delve into it just yet. But I’m glad they broke down my emotional barriers to check in on me. It’s nice to know that I have so many people in my life who are constantly looking out for me.

I sent H a voice message too even though we saw each other before we both left the office today. She left earlier than me because she had to go home and pack, she’s going back permanently to Korea. She’ll come back to China briefly next month, so hopefully we can have a meal or coffee together before she departs for good. I finally told her that X and I broke up and she was very sweet and encouraging about it, telling me I deserved better and that I’ll be ok in the end.

Even if I let H confirm her strange ‘Columbo-esque’ suspicions about my breakup bordering on practicing witchcraft (H legit guessed at all the right reasons why X and I broke up months when she gossipped about it with C without me telling her anything, it was freaky!), I feel ok about it now. I don’t want to hold onto any more bad feelings that happened at work, in either a professional or personal sense. I’m also glad I told H that she did a great job as our manager last year, even if it wasn’t always the case. I don’t want her to go away from our school feeling like she failed at managing all of us. She has a lot of good points and overall, she was still a great colleague to work with the past two years.

I also told PE and AS more about what went down with X. We ended up at a bar after having a farewell dinner for all the teachers leaving my school last night. I was intoxicated at that point and the three of us were talking about sex and relationships. They were very sympathetic and it meant a lot to get some things off my chest. Maybe by telling more people about what happened with X, I’m slowly freeing myself from the burden of carrying her haunting memory with me everywhere I go.

She’s invading less of my thoughts these days, especially when I’m feeling horny. That’s been very helpful not having X’s face pop into my head at awkward moments. I still think of her from time to time. It’s mostly negative thoughts about how much she sucks as a person. Other times, they’re sweet memories about little things she did that made me smile or made me happy in general.

She was my first properly long-term relationship; of course I’m going to carry her with me for a little while longer.

At least till I meet someone new that I love for a lot longer than X.

A part of me thinks that I’m ready to fall in love again.

But then I have moments like last night where I’m wandering around drunk in my city for the umpteenth time in 6 months and I feel like just another lost soul who doesn’t want to let love into my heart again.

My birthday is coming up next week and I’ve decided to have a simple birthday dinner with my friends on Saturday instead of Wednesday, which is when my real birthday happens. I’m still not ready to acknowledge the day, as shitty as that sounds.

It is pretty bad considering I’m lucky to be alive. Not in the sense that something bad happened to me and I almost died, but in the sense that it’s a blessing to live out a new day every single day. Instead I’m treating my birthday like it’s something horrible and disgusting, like it wasn’t one of the few things that my parents actually did right together as a couple.

Ok, that sounded so much weirder out of my head and in written form, but you all know what I mean.

My point is that I should be happier I get to celebrate another birthday. I’m being an idiot just because I’m turning 35, I’m single and living away from home while celebrating my birthday.

Hence why I’ll still celebrate my birthday with my friends, but maybe just have a ‘me’ day on my real birthday. And I can still call my family on my birthday and celebrate with them.

So yeah, I’m taking baby steps on the road to happiness and finding newer and healthier ways to deal with my issues. My therapist is out of commission these days because she has Stage 0 breast cancer and had surgery recently. So she’s recuperating at home and not seeing her patients till February so her medical insurance pays out as promised. That’s ok with me, I’m putting on my ‘big girl pants’ and trying not to need her for anything till I see her in person in February when I go home to see my family.

So in the meantime, I’ll try not to indulge in self-destructive behaviour from now on. After my birthday, I’m going to stave off drinking for a while too. I need to take better care of my health in light of my gastritis. I just hope I can get better medication to help me with my acid reflux and dry mouth in the future.

I made spaghetti bolognaise for dinner and slept for a few hours. Now I’m up blogging and chatting to different people through SNS. I have to get up early tomorrow to do a health check for my new Chinese work visa for this year.I hope everything goes well at the hospital since my Mandarin is still pretty shite. I hope I can get enough rest and hopefully take another nap tomorrow when I get back from the hospital.

What?

I have a month to myself before I visit my family in South Africa. I’m definitely going to celebrate that fact by catching up on sleep, my ever elusive friend.

I’m a bit too tired to type up more of my new story now, but I broke my 7-year streak of not writing fanfics at work this week. So in-between cleaning out my work cupboard and cleaning my work desk, I typed up my Cat and Robbie romance, tee hee.

Alright, time for bed. Sleep and peaceful thoughts are coming to me more easily these days now that I’m moving on gradually from all the bad shit that happened in 2019.

For now, things are good :-)

#breakupblog #dayonehundredandfortynine

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hamfan22 · 6 years

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Chapter 43 (adopted)

Nicole was cheeking her Facebook messages when she found a message from one of her “friends” Mai. “Mai messaged me, I wonder what she said?” Nicole said opening the message. The message said

-Trigger Warning-

“You little bitch, you are such a whore, I hope you die”

Nicole started to cry “What, what did I do, I haven’t really spoken to her since I started my classes, what’s going on?” she asked herself messaging Mai back saying “Mai what’s wrong, what did I do, are you ok?” Mai immediately messaged her back saying “You know what you did, you little bitch”

Nicole starting sobbing “No I don’t, Mai you and I haven’t really talked much since I started my classes, what’s going on?” she messaged back. “What the, she blocked me, I need dad but he’s at the theater, so looks like I’m going to the theater today” Nicole said getting ready.

-Time Skip To The Theater-

“It’s Monday so there's no show today, but he does have rehearsal” Nicole says walking into the theater. “Hey chocolate chip, why the long face?” Thayne asked her. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, is my dad here?" She asked him. “He just stepped out to get some lunch, come here chocolate chip, tell me what’s wrong” Thayne said picking Nicole up bridal style and bringing her to craft services and sitting down on the couch with her in his arms. Nicole immediately starting sobbing “M-my friend M-mai, s-she c-called me a-a bitch a-and a whore and a-a slut and s-she blocked me on Facebook” Nicole said sobbing. “Oh Nicole, do you know why she would do this to you?” Thayne asked her. “I don’t know why she’s doing this, I haven’t really talked to her all that much since I started my classes” Nicole said still sobbing.

Suddenly Oak came in and saw Nicole crying.

“Nicole sweetie, why are you crying, did someone hurt you, who, I’ll make them regret ever messing with my daughter” Oak said to her. “Oak, I think Nicole just needs you to maybe hold her and just let her cry, she’ll tell you once she has calmed down and she can speak” Thayne told him. “You’re right Thayne, come here sweetie, dad’s here, it’s ok, let it all out, and you can tell me when you’re ready to” Oak told her, taking her from Thayne and into his own arms. Nicole just cried and cried, and Oak just held her. After about an hour or so Nicole stopped crying “Dad, Mai, she called me a bitch, a whore and a slut and she said that she hopes that I die, I don’t even know what I did, why is she doing this to me, I thought we were friends?” Nicole told him. Oak was speechless, “One of Nicole’s friends bullying her, why would she do that to Nicole” he asked himself. Nicole’s phone went off “Who’s Kelly and why is she messaging me on Facebook?” Nicole asked checking the message. “What the… why is this happening, I don’t even know this person and she’s calling me such hurtful things, what did I apparently do!!!!!” Nicole screamed and started sobbing again. Oak took Nicole home and layed her down on the couch and grabbed his own phone, Nicole gave him Mai’s number and he called her. “Hello Mai speaking” Mai said when she picked up. “Mai this is Nicole’s father, she showed me the messages you sent her and the messages that, that girl Kelly messaged her, why are you doing this, what has Nicole apparently done to you that you would call her such horrible things and tell her that you hope that she dies?” he asked her. “Because she’s a little bitch, she’s so full of herself, oh look at me my dad’s in Hamilton, I’m so much better than everyone else, what a loser, using that to make friends and get popular” Mai said. “Mai, Nicole has never done that and you guys aren’t in high school anymore, so the whole trying to get popular thing is complete bs, you are bullying her, and I would like to know why, you two are friends, and Nicole has treated you like family, all of you guys, why are you doing this Mai?” Oak asked her. “Kelly told me that she was using the fact that you are in Hamilton to make friends and get popular, and I thought about it for a bit and I decided that she’s right she is, and I’m not her friend, she’s a bitch and I’m not friends with bitches” Mai said hanging up. “Who is this Kelly girl, and why is doing this to my daughter?” Oak asked himself. He then went to his Facebook and found Kelly and decided to talk to her. “Hello I am Okieriete Onaodowan, also known as Oak, I’m Nicole’s father, why are you bullying her and telling her friend all these lies, she doesn’t even know you, and the only reason I’m talking to you is because I hope that maybe this is all a big misunderstanding or something, why are you doing this to my daughter?” he asks her. “Screw you I can do whatever I want, and that little bitch deserves all of this, and yeah I made all that shit up, why, because I can, so f off” Kelly messaged him. “No you can’t do this, you have no right to bully someone you don’t even know” he told her. “I don’t care, I do whatever I want, and your daughter is such a bitch, she should just die, the world would be better off without her” Kelly messages him. “Ok now I’m mad, I tried to be nice and have a mature conversation with you but since you think that bullying people is ok and telling someone that they should die, that crosses the line, stay away from my daughter” he tells her. “Whatever” Kelly tells him.

-Time Skip-

-The Hospital-

-Oaks Pov-

“What happened, who did this to you?” I ask Nicole. “It was Mai, Kelly and their friend Connor, they pulled her into an alleyway and beat her up” Ariana tells me. “And Connor apparently had a knife and cut her arms a few times” Kyre tells me, he looks just as pissed off as I am. “Why would they do this to her, Nicole is such a wonderful person, she’s always kind to everyone, why do bullies always go after the kind ones?” Kyre asks. “They see people who are kind as an easy target, it’s disgusting that they do that to people” Ryan says. Suddenly Mai walks in holding some flowers. “What do you want?” Kyre spats at her, looking at her with a look of pure disgust. “I wanted to see if Nicole was ok, and I brought her some flowers” Mai tells him. “Leave, now” Nicole says coldly. “What, why, what did I do to you?” Mai asks acting innocent. “Don’t act so innocent you know what you did and I don’t ever want to talk to you, so leave now” Nicole says. “Fine, you are such a bitch” Mai says walking away. I see Kyre and Ariana try and jump her but I hold Kyre back and Kevin holds Ariana back. “Kevin let me go, she’s not going to get away with this” Ariana says to Kevin. I hear the sound of Nicole crying and I let Kyre go and Kevin lets Ariana go and they both go and comfort Nicole. “It’s ok Nicole, she’s gone, I can’t believe that she thinks that she can just walk in here, and act like she’s done nothing wrong” Ariana says.

-End Of Oaks Pov-

-Time Skip-

-Nicole is talking to Mai-

"How could you do this, I thought we were friends!" Nicole yelled crying. "Why do you care, you probably deserve all of this, that's what Kelly and I think, and by the way, you were never my friend" Mai spats at her. Nicole felt her heart break into a million little pieces "Stay away from me, and my friends, and everyone I love and care about, if that's how you are going to be, then fine you are no longer my friend" Nicole spats at her. Nicole runs away from Mai back to the apartment. She runs into her room and collapsed on her bed and cried. About an hour later she heard her bedroom door open. "Hey Nicole, are you ok, we're all here for you if you need us" A voice said. "I'm not ok, Mai and Kelly were basically bullying me, and Mai even said that I was never her friend" Nicole said sobbing. "It's ok Nicole, come here, everything is going to alright" the voice said. "Yo Ariana does she need a group hug?" A voice said. "Yes please" Nicole said as all of her real friends came over and hugged her.

-A Few Hours Later-

“Hey Mackenzie, what’s up, you ok?” Nicole said picking up the phone. “No, can you please come over, like now, please?” she asked Nicole crying. “I’ll be right over, hey dad I’m going to see Mackenzie, I’ll be back later” Nicole said to Oak. “Ok, be safe and text me once to get to Anthony and Jazzy’s place” Oak told her. “I will, I’ll be there soon Mackenzie” Nicole said grabbing her car keys and leaving.

-To Anthony and Jazzy’s apartment-

“Mackenzie what’s wrong, what happened?” Nicole asked Mackenzie after she quickly texted Oak telling him that she was at the apartment. “Philip, he cheated on me with some girl, and when I confronted him about it, he..he..he” Mackenzie said sobbing. “It’s ok Mackenzie you don’t have to tell me right now, whenever you’re ready, but right now Philip needs to be taught a little lesson, in a bit, right now you need a hug” Nicole said hugging Mackenzie. “Why would he do this, I thought he cared about me?” Mackenzie sobbed. “Let it all out Mackenzie, let it all out” Nicole told her. About an hour later Mackenzie had kinda stopped crying and Nicole was pissed. "He did what to you!?! Oh no, that boy is so dead, who does he think he is, Mackenzie what's his address, James and are going to go and teach him a little lesson" Nicole said taking her phone out and calling James. "Hello my love, what's up?" James says answering the phone. "You and me are going to teach Phillip a little lesson, he hurt Mackenzie, I'll explain the rest on our way to Phillips house" Nicole tells him. "Meet me by the Richard Rogers" she adds. "Ok ill meet you there" James tells her hanging up. "Here's his address Nicole, and can you please come back here once you guys are done doing whatever you are going to do to him, I don't want to be alone" Mackenzie ask her. "I will, I promise" Nicole tells her taking the piece of paper that had Phillips address written on it. "Thanks Nicole" Mackenzie says as Nicole starts to leave. "Mackenzie you are family, and family always has each other's back" Nicole says hugging Mackenzie. Nicole then leaves to go meet James and teach Phillip a little lesson. Nicole walked to the theater and saw James. “Come on we have to teach Philip that he’s not going to get away with hurting Mackenzie” Nicole told him. “What did he do?” James asked her. “He cheated on her, he broke her heart, James you should have seen how hurt she is, no one messes with my family, now come on” Nicole tells him as the run to Philip’s house. “Philip open up!” Nicole screamed banging on the door. Philip opened the door. “What do you want?” Philip spat at her. “You don’t speak to my girlfriend like that, and we’re here to teach you a little lesson about cheating” James says forcing his way into Philips house. “I didn’t do anything to Mackenzie, I’m just not into her anymore” Philip says to them. “You’re just not into her anymore, what are you five and you lost interest in a toy you were playing with, was that all Mackenzie was to you a toy, you hurt her, and no one messes with my family, but I can’t physically hurt you but I can say this, STAY AWAY FROM MACKENZIE AND IF I EVER SEE YOU ANYWHERE NEAR HER I WILL PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!?!?!?!??!” Nicole told him. “Y-yes ma’am" Philip said shaking. “Good, come on James, I think we’re done here” Nicole said as they left.

-Time Skip-

Nicole and Mackenzie are having a sleepover.

“Ok so we’ve got a ton of movies to watch and a lot of food, did you bring all of the pictures of you and that boy?” Nicole asked her. “Yep, what are we going to do with them?” Mackenzie asked her. “We are going to destroy them, is that ok with you?” Nicole asked her. “Yeah it’s 100% ok with me, that jerk I don’t ever want to see these pictures ever again” Mackenzie said handing Nicole a large box full of pictures of her and Philip. “Come with me” Nicole said as the two went to the kitchen. Nicole then got out two pairs of scissors, she handed one pair to Mackenzie “You ready?” she asked Mackenzie. “Yep, let’s do this” Mackenzie told her. They began cutting up all of the pictures. After they did they watched movies, ate pizza, ice cream and a lot of junk food and stayed up late. “I’m glad tomorrow is Saturday, ahhh come Monday I have to see his stupid face” Mackenzie said. “You’ll be ok, just stay away from him and if he does anything let me know and I’ll pay him a little visit” Nicole tells her. “I will, and thanks Nicole, I really needed this” Mackenzie said while taking a bit of her slice of pizza. “You are so welcome Mackenzie” Nicole said to her.

#hamilton #Okieriete Onaodowan #lin manuel miranda #thayne jasperson

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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Blame It On Bad Luck - Chapter 27

Lauren didn’t know how she survived the end of the semester.

She didn’t know how she made it through all the brutal make up work she had to do, the extra credit assignments she put herself through just to barely pass a class, the final exams and the papers and the never ending stress they all brought with them.

She also didn’t know how she managed to do all of it while battling her addiction for a second time in the span of only two months. She didn’t know how she was even still alive after everything that happened during the semester but she was. She was alive and she got to see her daughter once in a while and things seemed great with her and Camila.

It would have been better—Lauren thought—if after all of that she didn’t end up failing one of her classes again anyway.

She had stared at the screen with a blank expression, reading the letters beside each class over and over hoping that the harder she stared, the longer she stared, maybe it would somehow magically change.

Camila had asked about her grades only twice, once when she received all of hers—naturally getting all A’s, Lauren was proud of her anyway—and another on the morning of Christmas Eve when she finally got hers and told her that she didn’t.

There was no point, really, in lying to Camila about failing. She was more surprised that she managed to not throw her laptop across the heavily decorated apartment at the time or snap at the brunette’s questioning when her answers were short and monotonous.

She remembered squeezing her eyes shut tight, rubbing her temple as she felt a headache coming on after glaring at the screen all morning just to have that F still there, glaring back at her, mocking.

She didn’t know how to broach the subject with her girlfriend. She wasn’t even used to saying that word—girlfriend. Their relationship, though unconventional at first, was still brand new. Everything was brand new to her. And she didn’t want to disappoint her or let her down.

She tried to ignore the nagging familiar feeling of failure still looming overhead, swirling in the pit of her stomach and deep within her chest, making it harder to breathe. She tried to ignore it when she would see Camila’s happy, smiling face blissfully unaware of how hard she was trying to hold herself together.

She swallowed the feeling, the bitter taste it left in her mouth, and pushed it to the back of her mind along with everything else. Opening the door to her apartment she was met right away with the sound of Camila’s laughter. It kind of made it a little easier to put on a happy face.

The brunette didn’t notice her as she walked in, still talking animatedly engrossed in conversation with her best friend on the couch. It wasn’t until she closed the door and set her stuff down on the table that she finally caught her attention.

“Oh look, the most annoying person in the world is here,” Lauren said, casting a glance over towards the living room. “And Dinah.”

“Hey!” Camila yelled indignantly before grabbing one of the throw pillows from the couch and chucking it across the apartment. Lauren ducked out of the way, laughing at her girlfriend’s grumpy face.

“Nice try.”

“You’re an ass.” She folded her arms, slumping back against the arm of the couch with her knees tucked into her chest as she glared at Dinah’s amused face. “Stop encouraging her.”

“Rude. I didn’t even say anything.”

“Yeah, Camz, gosh. Leave her alone,” she called out from the kitchen, opening the fridge to find something to drink. She settled on a bottle of water and chanced a look in her direction, only to find her still glaring at her. “What?”

“Stop being nicer to her than you are to me,” she huffed, causing Lauren to snort in laughter as she took a sip of her water. She wiped her chin with her sleeve and walked over to the two of them.

“I have to be nice to her or else she will quote unquote,” she explained and used air quotes for the rest of her sentence, “Stomp my ass like a cockroach.”

“We all know you love me, Lauser,” Dinah said, blowing a kiss and Lauren jokingly sent a wink her way. Camila raised her eyebrow at the two of them.

“Oh I’m sorry am I getting the way of something?” she asked, watching as the green eyed girl draped herself across Dinah’s lap, one arm hanging loosely around her neck. “Do you two want to be left alone?”

“Yeah, kind of, if you don’t mind,” Lauren replied casually and didn’t have a chance that time to avoid the pillow thrown at her face. “I’m joking!”

“Yeah, please, Lauren wishes she was my type,” Dinah added, shoving the girl off and causing her to land ungracefully on the floor, still laughing.

“I’m everybody’s type.”

“Keep it up and I promise you won’t be mine,” Camila warned, her voice stern but her eyes still slightly playful as Lauren narrowed her eyes at her, challenging. The brunette quirked an eyebrow, watching as she stood back up and leaned over her, planting a rather obnoxious kiss on her cheek. “Ew, get off of me!”

“Wow, rude as hell. Where’s Captain Fatass? At least he appreciates my affection,” she stated dramatically, moving away from the couch and found the large cat lounging in the corner of the apartment near her record player. She went over and picked him up in her arms. “You like me, right?”

“Fine,” Camila said, rolling her eyes with an amused smile. “Have fun playing with your cat by yourself.”

“I will,” Lauren huffed, carrying him over to the kitchen.

“You’re an idiot.”

“You're the idiot. Don’t talk to me or my son ever again.”

She ignored her girlfriend’s laughter and rummaged through the cabinets with one hand, her other arm still supporting the heavy cat against her shoulder. She could hear them resuming their conversation but tuned them out and instead looked for something to eat.

She eventually felt someone tap her shoulder and was so startled she nearly dropped the cat.

“Jesus! Don’t do that shit, Camz.”

“Sorry,” she said with a sheepish smile as Lauren set the cat back down and unwrapped a granola bar. “I just wanted to ask what you were doing tonight.”

“I don’t know. Lucy and them invited me out but I was going to see what you were doing.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“Nothing, I was going to ask if you wanted to come out with me and Dinah,” she started. “But if you already have plans it’s okay.”

“I mean…it doesn’t matter, really.”

“No, it’s fine. You hang out with your friends,” she assured her and Lauren bit into the bar, chewing slowly while trying not to get crumbs on the floor.

“It’s just you and Dinah?”

“Well, no…a couple of her friends are going to meet us. And Ariana.”

“Your friend from church?”

“Yeah…” she trailed off, shifting on her feet as she looked down. She wondered what would be the best way to bring it up, unsure of how the green eyed girl would react. “And um…I was going to ask Hailee to come too,” she said, somewhat nervously. She bit her lip, watching her girlfriend’s face. “If that’s okay?”

“What do you mean if that’s okay; do you think I’m not going to let you hang out with your friends or something?”

“I just didn’t want to like, not tell you,” she sighed, a strange tightening feeling in her chest slowly starting to bother her. This wasn’t supposed to be a whole discussion…or argument. She didn’t anticipate the conversation progressing longer than ten seconds. She was just going to tell her, ask her if she wanted to come too, and then go back to Dinah who was still in the living room.

“Okay but there’s a difference between telling me and making it seem like you need my permission. Which you don’t.”

“Wouldn’t it have been insensitive if I didn’t ask if you were okay with it?”

“Why? Because she’s your ex?”

“Well…yeah,” she said like it was obvious. Lauren took another bite of her granola bar and rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, it would be the same if you hang out with like…Keana or someone.”

“I do hang out with her but what does she have to do with anything?”

“Uh, maybe the fact that she has a thing for you?”

“She does not.”

“Lauren, the girl asked you out…and she literally told me she wanted to fuck you.”

“Wait…did she really?”

“Well not in those exact words but pretty much, yeah. It was the night of your party…around Halloween, remember?”

“First of all that wasn’t my fault,” she defended with a mouth full of granola but Camila crossed her arms. “Okay not entirely my fault. And second, she was high as hell that night so if she said some off the wall shit, that’s probably why.”

“Oh, that’s great. That makes me feel a lot better,” she said sarcastically. Lauren was about to comment on her attitude when they were interrupted by a voice calling from the living room.

“Hey, I know y'all are trying to have a private conversation but your apartment is kind of small so like…I’m gonna let you guys have your lovers quarrel in peace,” Dinah said, standing from the couch, sensing their argument wasn’t going to die down any time soon. Camila sighed, exhaling noisily as the blonde approached the kitchen hesitantly. “I’ll see you later, Mila.”

“Okay.”

“Bye Lauren,” she said but the green eyed girl kept her attention on her girlfriend and without another word she left the two of them alone. Once the door closed Camila looked back at Lauren.

“I don’t want to fight with you.”

“We’re not fighting. You’re bringing up stupid things that don’t matter.”

“You don’t need to get so defensive.”

“I’m not being defensive! You literally asked if it was okay for you to hang out with your ex and I said it’s fine. I don’t care.”

“Really? Because you sound annoyed.”

“That’s because you’re being annoying.”

“Are you okay? Like, is something else bugging you because you were fine like five minutes ago and now all of a sudden you’re being an ass.”

“You’re the one who has a problem with me hanging out with my friend just because of one time but you don’t see me giving a shit about you hanging out with someone you actually dated.”

“I never said I had a problem with it. And it's different.”

“How? Don’t you trust me?” she asked before she paused, letting out a breath and shaking her head. “Never mind, don’t answer that. Of course you don’t.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“You didn’t have to,” she muttered, tossing the granola bar wrapper in the trash and moving past Camila out of the kitchen. She grabbed her wrist before she could leave.

“Don’t do that.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Yes you are.” Lauren didn’t make a move to try and leave again but she also didn’t bother turning around to face her. She knew she was getting herself worked up and, yeah, she was overreacting a bit but it seemed like everything was stressing her out lately and every little thing got under her skin. “I’m sorry for bringing her up, okay? Now what’s really bothering you?”

“Nothing.”

“Babe…” she tried again, her voice much softer. She could sense something wasn’t quite right but she didn’t want to jump to conclusions or push her too much to talk when she knew it never went well in the past.

“I don’t want to fight either,” she relented, somewhat, but still didn’t look up at her. She shut her eyes tightly, pulling her hand out of Camila’s grasp and she rubbed her forehead. “I’m just going to go up to Lucy’s.”

“Wait, Lauren, you don’t have to leave.”

“No, you’re right. I’m being an ass. I just need to…clear my head or something and I don’t want to lash out at you just because I…” she stopped herself and sighed, moving towards the door where her shoes were. She grabbed her stuff from the table and finally looked up to see Camila still watching her with concerned eyes.

She felt bad, really she did. She didn’t mean to get upset or annoyed so easily, least of all to take it out on Camila of all people. But there was just too much going on in her mind and everything was just building to the point where it was almost suffocating and sometimes it felt like she didn’t really know how to breathe anyway.

“Hey,” she said when she noticed the defeated look on her girlfriend’s face, still standing outside of the kitchen. She walked over to her and held her cheeks, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry too,” she sighed. “Go have fun with your friends tonight. Be safe. I’ll text you later, okay?” she offered, her voice gentler and eyes softer.

Camila wanted to ask. She knew she pushed her buttons a bit getting defensive about Keana but her reaction seemed so out of left field that she couldn’t help but wonder. Because she knew her better. She just wished it was easier for her to talk to her about what was on her mind.

The last thing she wanted was for her to be stuck in her own head and trapped with her thoughts by herself. It had never done her any good in the past.

“Okay,” she relented, so quietly she wasn’t sure she made any sound at all but Lauren offered a smile, a forced one but it was better than her rolling her eyes and snapping at her like she was two minutes ago, Camila decided. “You be safe too.”

“I will,” she assured her and pulled her in again to kiss her forehead that time. “I’ll see you later, Camz.”

It was hard to ignore, given Lauren’s past. Camila was more than familiar with the other girl’s mood swings. And she knew trying to stay sober was a challenge for anybody and things weren’t going to be okay all the time. She just hoped Lauren wouldn’t give in when things got hard.

Lauren wasn’t too talkative but she did at least keep her word and exchanged a few texts with Camila throughout the night. Part of her didn’t want to bother her or keep her from having fun with her friends and the other part didn’t really know what to say at all.

It wasn’t always easy, going out and being around a bunch of drunk people and trying to remain in control. It wasn’t easy when Lauren already didn’t feel like she was in control to begin with. It wasn’t easy when all she wanted to do was to stop her thoughts from racing, plummeting faster and faster into a dark place.

She didn’t know at what point it happened; she never did, really. Things would always seem okay for a while and then all of a sudden things change. She’d become quieter, more withdrawn, more disconnected from the conversations and from where she was. It’s like a dream, not knowing when or how it even begins or why but it does. And Lauren couldn’t seem to put herself through it.

It was still relatively early by the time she made it back to her empty apartment. She couldn’t tell if it was worse to be out with friends feeling like you’re still completely alone and spiraling or to be actually by yourself and stuck with your own thoughts.

She tried to keep busy with anything she could, finally settling on getting some of her coursework done for the class she was making up. She didn’t know what time it was when the door finally opened. Camila had mentioned she would be heading home soon but said she would text her when she was actually on her way, declining her offer to go and pick her up.

“Lauren?” she asked and right away the green eyed girl could tell her girlfriend was drunk. “Um…can you help me with something?”

“What happened?” She stood from the couch, shutting her laptop off, and looked over at the brunette in the door—slightly disheveled hair and a tear in her jeans. “Oh God, what did you do?”

“Funny story…you see, I may or may not have fallen.”

“Are you okay?” she asked, grabbing her hand and helping her over to sit on the couch. She was limping a bit and she could see some dried blood where her jeans were ripped at the knee. “Where did you fall?”

“Downstairs.”

“Just now?” Camila nodded sheepishly at the amused smiled that spread across Lauren’s face. She laughed and turned to the chubby cat that had come to see what was going on. “No, she was so close, Fatass!”

“Stop,” she whined, hiding her face behind her hands as she leaned to lie back on the couch, her legs draped over Lauren’s lap. “I was so proud of myself too for not falling the whole night.”

“Well you’re wasted, so I’m not surprised.”

“I’m not that-” she started but stopped herself when Lauren stared at her pointedly. “Shut up.”

“Do you want help with your gross ass knee or not?”

“Yes, please baby, I’m sorry.” She pouted, sticking out her bottom lip dramatically and Lauren rolled her eyes. She took a look at the tear in her jeans, inspecting what she could see from the wound.

“Okay come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” she said, pulling her boots off her feet so she could get her jeans off of her. “Lift your giant ass up at least you fucking lush.”

“Hey! Just because I like to enjoy the occasional five or six vodka sodas every once in a while does not mean that—ow!” she yelled when the material of her jeans rubbed the scrape as Lauren pulled them down her legs. Once she was only in her underwear they could both see the damage to the bloodied knee. “Ew.”

“What were you even doing?”

“Walking.”

“Typical.”

“Leave me alone.”

“I mean, okay if you really want me to-”

“I didn’t mean literally! You need to help me. I’m in pain.”

“You’re such a weenie.”

“Lauren, I swear to God…”

“Calm down, I’m just kidding…sort of,” she said, the last part under her breath, giving her thigh a light squeeze as she stood up to go find something to clean her knee with. She returned from the bathroom with a brown bottle, some tissues, and a large band aid. “Okay this is going to sting like a bitch so try not to scream like one.”

“I do not scream like a-” Before she could get the word out she let out a high pitched shriek the moment the liquid touched her open wound.

“What did I just say?” Lauren deadpanned; cleaning the excess blood, making sure the wound was dry before putting the bandage over it. “There, was that so bad?”

“Yes.”

“Well don’t fall next time.” Camila glared at her from the other end of the couch, earning a slight smile from her girlfriend as she leaned down and placed a kiss above her injured knee. “We don’t have any Neosporin or shit like that but I’ll pick some up for you after work tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” she mumbled, still somewhat sheepishly. Her cheeks were warm and flushed, mostly from the alcohol, and Lauren leaned to the side against the couch, staring down at the girl with her head resting against her palm. “What?”

“Nothing. Did you have a good night? You know…before this happened?”

“Mhm,” she nodded lazily, reaching for Lauren’s wrist. “Would’ve been better if you were there.”

“I doubt it. But I’m glad you had fun.”

“We could have more fun here,” she slurred suggestively, tugging on her arm until she was close enough to pull in for a kiss. Lauren closed her eyes the moment she felt the shorter girl’s lips on hers, felt her fingers threading through her hair urging her closer.

She wanted to keep kissing her. She wanted to feel her touch, wanted to feel her everywhere. But Lauren pulled back, still feeling a bit off, while Camila tried to pull her back in.

She thought maybe the brunette’s efforts might work, might entice her to let go and just forget about everything. But she found herself gently pushing her back down once her hand moved up her shirt.

“Camz, come on…”

“What?” she asked in this sort of innocent sounding voice. And it might have been the excessive amount of alcohol she had consumed throughout the night, but she tried kissing her again, tugging at the hem of her shirt, only to be met with the same resistance.

“Camila, seriously, stop,” she tried again, more seriously that time. Camila’s brows furrowed in genuine confusion at her tone.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re drunk.”

“…And?”

“And I’m tired.”

“You’re really not in the mood?”

“Why is that so fucking hard to believe?” she said a bit more defensively than she had wanted to sound, her voice holding more bite than she intended. Camila blinked up at her with a concerned frown.

“I…was just asking a question. Why do you keep yelling at me today?”

“I’m not yelling.” She shut her eyes in frustration, running her hand through her hair when she realized her volume had actually gone up against her will. “I just don’t want to do this right now.”

“Alright, no one’s forcing you to do anything, Lauren. You’re just being weird is all.”

“I’m not being weird. Look, you’re wasted so everything’s going to end up in an argument.”

“Everything’s going to end up in an argument because you’re making everything into one.”

“Can we please not fucking do this?” she asked, exasperated, as she rubbed her eyes.

“Whatever, Lauren.” Camila turned onto her side, careful to not hurt her knee as Lauren stood from the couch. She didn’t move to meet her eyes as she watched her staring across the room at the blank television screen, still in just her shirt and underwear. Lauren sighed loudly.

“Alright. Well, I’m going to bed. Are you coming?” Her voice was calmer that time, exhausted even, and Camila didn’t bother getting up or even turning her head to look at her. “Are you just going to sleep here on the couch?” When Camila didn’t say anything else Lauren shut her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself down. “Are you not going to answer me?”

She knew she was getting herself worked up without meaning to. She also knew she was picking stupid fights without meaning to. Her girlfriend was the last person she wanted to have any problems with, especially since she seemed to be the only person who knew how to keep her relatively sane most days.

Camila didn’t want to fight either. But she would have had more logic had she not been drinking. She also wouldn’t have been too tired to get up or have the energy to try talking some sense into the green eyed girl, remind her that things would be okay.

But she stayed silent and Lauren didn’t know what to make of it.

“Fine. Whatever. Goodnight, Camz.”

She turned on her heel, not sparing her a second glance as she shut the lights off and shut the bedroom door behind her with too much force.

When she crawled into their bed alone she felt the emptiness of it almost immediately. She felt it like a weight crushing down on her chest and she dragged her hands over her face, squeezing her eyes shut, felt the corners of them stinging. She grabbed Camila’s pillow and buried her face in it, dampening the material with silent, hot tears.

It took longer than expected to fall asleep. She thought the physical and emotional exhaustion would make it easier but she couldn’t seem to shut her brain off long enough to get some rest. And she was left to lie awake with every nagging thought bothering her until some ungodly hour of the night.

It couldn’t have been morning—the sun wasn’t even up yet and the room was still dark. The handle of the bedroom door turned slowly, as if to be discreet, but it was in vain when Camila—still a bit drunk—came stumbling through the threshold into the pitch black of the room where her girlfriend slept quietly.

She looked around in confusion, having zero recollection of how she even got home or why she was on the couch, reached out to feel for the bed until she pulled the blanket back and crawled in beside Lauren.

She wanted to move in closer, cuddle up to her side, but didn’t want to further risk waking her up. So she sighed in defeat and turned over, facing the opposite way and tried to at least go back to sleep with the newly added comfort.

She hadn’t shut her eyes for a full minute before she felt movement next to her. She kept still, hoping she didn’t actually wake up. Camila held her breath until the moving stopped and only let it out when she felt Lauren turn over and drape her arm across her waist, pulling her into her.

Camila sighed, holding onto her hands on her stomach, pressed back against her sinking further into her warm embrace. Her heart somehow raced and calmed down all in the same breath, feeling content with the delicate brush of lips against the smooth skin of her back just before she shut her eyes and drifted into a much more peaceful sleep than before.

The darkness was still too bright for Camila when she opened her eyes again. She felt a dull throbbing going all the way throughout her head and into the back of her eyes the longer she tried to keep them open and focus but in her disoriented state it was easier said than done.

She turned her head into her pillow and groaned into it.

“Hey…I’m sorry I was trying to be quiet. I wanted to let you sleep.” She heard Lauren’s hushed voice, raspier than usual from the early morning—well, Camila assumed it was early. “You feeling okay? You were pretty trashed last night.”

“I feel…terrible. Everything hurts.”

“Well, you fell…so that’s to be expected,” she informed her, holding back her laugh and instead giving her a sympathetic smile as she crouched down in front of the sleepy girl, messy hair sprawled out over her shoulders and over her bra strap. “Go back to sleep, babe.”

“Did we fight last night?” she asked randomly, ignoring her words and catching the green eyed girl off guard.

“What?” Lauren blinked, not knowing what to make of her question but figured she might not remember much of the previous night. And she didn’t think it was even worth it to relive the details when she was trying desperately to keep her moods in check.

It was a stupid fight. Camila didn’t need to know about it.

“I don’t know. I randomly woke up on the couch and I have no idea how I even got there. How did I even get home?”

“You took a cab. I cleaned up your knee and you fell asleep there,” she told her, looking into her tired but curiously bright eyes, not wanting to disappoint her so early in the day.

“Oh…thank you for taking care of my knee,” she said, frowning adorably and Lauren couldn’t help but smile, shaking her head.

“Any time. Please don’t make a habit out of that though.”

“I can’t make any promises.”

“Fair enough.”

“Sorry if I was annoying last night,” she added, pulling the blanket back up to her shoulders, pressing her cheek and nose into the soft material. And Lauren couldn’t help but think how cute she looked buried in their mess of sheets and blankets.

“You weren’t. Besides, like I’ve never been drunk and annoying?”

“You’re sober and annoying.” Lauren narrowed her eyes but leaned in, brushing her messy hair away from her face and smoothing it behind her ear. Camila’s eyes fluttered closed at the soothing gesture and felt her warm lips press a kiss to her aching forehead.

“So are you. Get some sleep, idiot.” She stood back up and pulled the blanket further up her shoulders and Camila sighed contently but also kind of didn’t want her to leave.

“Lauren?” she called out in a voice that sounded a lot smaller in the silence of the room. But it got the raven haired girl’s attention nevertheless and she turned from where she stood at the door before heading out.

“Yeah?” She watched her girlfriend open her mouth and then close it right after, deep in thought for a second, and then sigh quietly to herself.

“Nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah no, don’t worry. I don’t want you to be late for work.”

“Um…okay then. I’ll see you later, Camz.” She gave her a lingering gaze and an assuring smile before she disappeared out of their bedroom and Camila rolled over in their bed, groaning.

She wished she could remember anything from the night before but came up with nothing beyond vaguely recalling tripping and falling down outside of their apartment. She knew Lauren was acting weird during the day before they both went out but she seemed fine that morning.

But Camila was becoming used to her mood swings all over again.

Things continued like that…sort of.

It was only a week. Lauren tried to avoid any more stupid fights with Camila but she quickly found out that meant avoiding Camila when she felt particularly…off. It wasn’t intentional. But these things never really are planned.

She didn’t know when she would hit a low point or have a bad day; they usually came out of nowhere and then took over for however long and Lauren never really knew when it would end or if it ever would.

She hated the lack of control but she hated fighting with Camila for no reason. So she tried to keep to herself, finding any excuse to stay out of the apartment—working more, studying more, anything to distract her from the constant empty feeling.

“Isn’t that like…kind of hard when you guys live together?” Lucy asked, watching Lauren on her phone screen as she rested her chin in her palm behind the counter at work. She adjusted the angle of her laptop to see the brunette better. “I mean, hasn’t she asked what’s up with you yet?”

“She always asks but lately she’s been…I don’t know; leaving me alone?”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow. “You keep saying you need space.”

“Not from her. It’s…it’s not like that. And that’s the problem. Like, I don’t know how to fucking explain it so I don’t know what to say to her. And it’s weird.”

“So you…don’t want to break up with her?”

“What? No, of course not. I’m not that stupid.”

“Well…”

“Shut up, Lucy,” she said, a hint of a laugh in her tired tone. She rubbed her eyes and switched the screen back to the assignment she was working on. Lucy watched her friend type something before glancing back up at the camera.

“Homework?”

“You know, nobody fucking told me that winter sessions are fifty thousand times harder than the regular ones.”

“Well it’s an entire semester’s worth of work crammed into like three weeks of class. And online classes are already harder to begin with,” she told her, only hearing a long, dragged out growl, banging her head down on the counter.

“Fuck.”

“Does Camila still not know you’re taking this class again?”

“It never came up.”

“How?”

“I don’t know,” she whined, picking her head back up. “I want to keep my relationship with Camz separate from all the bullshit that’s currently infecting my entire life. Is that so bad?”

“Not really, but like…you might as well tell her. You’re being secretive for no reason. And I got to say…it’s kind of dumb.”

“Shut up. I know it is. I just…I don’t know, Luce, it’s like…things are terrible but then with her…they’re not. Even if it seems like it is because I’m so down all the time.”

“So just fucking tell her that you dumbass.”

“I'm trying.”

“Really? Because it looks like you’re trying to push her away. Which is stupid since you’re saying that’s the opposite of what you want. You know what I think you should do?”

“What?”

“Pull your head out of your ass and just be honest with her.”

“You know…I’m really sick of people telling me to pull my head of out my ass.”

“Well maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass people would stop telling you to pull your head out of your ass. Did you ever think about that, you impossible fucking melon head?” she said sternly causing Lauren to chuckle, leaning back in her chair.

“Go to hell.”

“I don’t know how Camila hasn’t broken up with your annoying ass yet.”

“Honestly? Neither do I.” She shrugged, switching her screen back to her assignment and answering another question. “It’s hard to believe I actually hated her when we met.”

“No it’s not. You’re a bitch.” Lauren laughed again, flipping off the camera while keeping her eyes on the next question.

“A lucky bitch.”

“Not gonna be so lucky if you keep your feelings bottled and don't talk to your damn girlfriend.”

“Shut up, I know okay?” she relented and the moment she said it she heard the door to the record store open, the bell at the top ringing annoyingly. She immediately looked up, not having anyone come in for the majority of the day and smiled despite herself when she saw the familiar brown eyes of the very girl she was thinking about. “Hi babe.”

“Ugh, you’re so gay,” she heard Lucy tease from her still open computer screen and her face dropped, rolling her eyes.

“Who’s that?” Camila asked, walking over to the counter.

“Lucy but I’m hanging up because I hate her.” She heard her friend’s laughter as she exited out of the conversation. “You’re early, aren’t you?”

“Only a little. I was bored. And you’ve been working so much lately I feel like I haven’t actually spent any real time with you in a while,” she told her, leaning in to kiss her lips briefly before taking a seat on the empty stool behind the counter. Lauren bit her lip, feeling guilty at how distant she had been. She tried to come up with some sort of excuse but Camila beat her to it, furrowing her brows as she eyed the open assignment on her laptop screen. “I didn’t know you were taking a winter class.”

“Uh…yeah, it’s just one online one.”

“Didn’t you just take this management class this past semester?” she asked curiously and Lauren sighed, part of her wishing her girlfriend wasn’t so…observant, sometimes. She minimized the window and leaned back in her chair, not meeting Camila’s eyes.

“Yes. And I failed it.”

“Aw, Lauren I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Just wasn’t something I felt like talking about,” she mumbled before feeling a gentle hand on her knee, squeezing it lightly. She looked over and saw Camila offering a supportive smile.

“It’s okay. I’m proud of you for retaking it so quickly. I hear winter sessions are brutal.”

“Is this like some sort of common knowledge that everyone happens to know except for me?” she asked and Camila laughed softly, shaking her head at the green eyed girl. She leaned into her and kissed her cheek when she noticed the pout on her face. “Are you really proud of me?”

“Of course I am. That’s so…weirdly responsible of you.” Her words managed to pull a hint of laughter from the other girl but she could sense she was still beating herself up for failing again. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re not the first person in the world to fail a class. College isn’t easy, babe. It happens.”

“I just want to get this shit over with already,” she huffed, saving her assignment progress and shutting her laptop off and put it away in its case.

“I know. And you will. I can help you with the class if you want?” she offered and Lauren leaned her cheek against her hand again, her elbow against the counter as she stared at her girlfriend and smiled softly at her.

“You’re too good to me. Have I ever told you that?”

“Probably, like, a lot.”

“So modest.”

“Hey, you said it, not me.”

“Well I take it back, you bitch,” she joked, gathering her things while Camila watched her with her arms folded across her chest.

“You’re so mean to me.”

“Oh shut up. I’m just kidding. You know I love you.”

The words came out of her mouth before either of them even realized what she was saying. But they seemed to register at the same time, Lauren’s eyes widening as she froze standing behind the stool Camila was sitting in.

“What did you say?” she asked, immediately spinning around to gauge her girlfriend’s reaction, watching her face, watching her eyes as she tried to come up with anything to say, literally anything at all.

“I said shut up. And then I said nothing else after that.”

“Did you…just say you love me?” she asked again, her heart racing so fast, beating so hard she could have sworn she felt it in her throat and her stomach at the same time. Lauren felt her throat go dry under her intense gaze and she glanced down at her bare wrist.

“I…uh…wow, would you look at the time. I got to get going,” she stammered out dumbly but all she was thinking about was getting out of that store, beyond thankful it was the end of her shift anyway.

“You’re not wearing a watch, Lauren!” she called out after the retreating girl but she continued making her hasty exit.

“I’ll see you at home, Camz!” she yelled over her shoulder before shutting the door behind her. Camila blinked at the empty chair beside her before pulling her phone out and sending a text to her idiot girlfriend.

[Camila]: did you seriously just run away from me

[Lauren]: new phone who dis

[Camila]: Lauren…

[Lauren]: I don’t know her

Camila rolled her eyes and tossed her phone onto the counter in defeat, knowing good and well she wasn’t going to get anywhere with her until she got back home.

The rest of the night dragged for the brunette and she found herself driving to the apartment a little faster than normal, wanting to talk to Lauren but also hoping that she was even there in the first place. Knowing her she would probably do something stupid like stay at Ally’s hoping Camila would just eventually forget all about it.

When she opened the door to their apartment she was relieved to find the girl lying on her back on the couch but confused to see her blankly staring at the ceiling with nothing but her record player playing One by Metallica through the speakers.

“Well…this is super depressing,” Camila said, startling the other girl a little bit but broke her out of her trance and she finally looked over to find the brunette walking towards the record player.

“It’s not that depressing,” she argued and Camila opened her mouth but was cut off by loud guitar.

Hold my breath as I wish for death, oh please God wake me.

“Okay, now it’s depressing,” she conceded, looking back up at the ceiling while Camila went over to shut the music off.

“Are you drunk?” she asked when she noticed the bottle of wine on the coffee table and the half empty glass beside it.

“No, that’s only my second one. I just needed to…relax…a bit.”

“You okay?” She tapped her shoulder as she moved to the couch, hinting for her to lift her head so she could sit.

Lauren settled back down resting against her lap, looking up at the brunette and her patient eyes. She reached up and touched the side of her face, tracing her jawline and couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” she nodded, feeling a little better with the slight warmth of the alcohol swirling around in her chest and the slight warmth of Camila beside her. She felt her heart hammering, rattling every bone in her body but felt calmer, less panicked, and completely safe.

“Okay, well I’m glad you’re not being a weirdo anymore.”

“Sorry, I just…surprised myself when I said that.”

Silence fell between them and Camila knew the question she wanted to ask, the question she had been waiting to ask since Lauren had let those three words slip back at the record store earlier. She just wasn’t sure what the answer would be.

“Did you mean it?”

The words hung in the air, anticipating, and Lauren licked her lips still tasting the sweetness of the wine still lingering on them. She looked up at Camila, still watching, still patient, and exhaled through her nose, her heart in her throat.

“Yeah…I meant it.”

She shut her eyes, trying to get a hold of her thoughts, tried to figure out the words to say, tried to come up with anything worthwhile to say to her. Because it was Camila. And Camila deserved more than simple and normal. Camila wasn’t normal. Camila was extraordinary.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she attempted, her brows furrowing a bit as she stared at her hands in her lap, Camila’s fingers running gently through her hair as she listened. “And I didn’t think I was even capable of feeling it. This is all really fucking new for me. And I’m trying not to mess it up. And I’m trying to be better at this.”

“Better at what?”

“Just…everything.” She sighed, looking up at her girlfriend still playing with her dark locks and felt calmer once again under her gaze. “I like to think there’s some version of reality where I’m better for you—not so toxic, you know?”

“You’re not toxic, Lauren.”

“I don’t want to be this person that pushes people away, not the ones I care about. And I know I’ve been so weird lately but I’m trying. I promise I’m trying.”

“I know you are, babe. It’s really okay.”

“You’re so…I don’t even know how to tell you. Ugh, I’m sorry. I told you I’m not good at the whole…words…thing.”

“I don’t need you to be poetic, Lauren. Just honest.”

“Your ass is outstanding,” she replied almost immediately, earning a loud laugh and a light shove from the brunette.

“Idiot.”

“No but seriously. I know I freaked out earlier but…I’ve been thinking about it all week. I know it doesn’t seem like it because of how moody and bitchy I’ve been but like…I really do love you, Camz. I do. This has never happened to me before and it kind of scares the shit out of me. But you make things less…crazy, for me. I couldn’t stand you when I met you and now I can’t imagine not knowing you, not coming home to you. And you’re such a beautiful place to come home to.”

It was an instance of clarity, a moment of pure and simple honesty that Lauren wasn’t used to and Camila wasn’t expecting at all. She blinked down at her; perhaps she would wake up somewhere and none of the past few months would have been real at all, perhaps Lauren wasn’t real at all.

She stared down at the girl with her head in her lap, stared at her impossibly green eyes, bright and hopeful and vulnerable with raw and genuine emotion. And she felt every last one of them in her body, in her blood, in every nerve ending, in every bone. Lauren was in her veins, chaotic and real and so full of love she could barely catch her breath.

“Please say something.” Lauren’s voice was small, unlike everything she felt for her. Lauren’s feelings were everywhere, all-encompassing and all consuming, too vast to possibly contain. And Camila was at a loss for words. Because this was unlike anything she had ever felt before either.

“I love you too.”

It took a moment. The words didn’t sink in fully and Lauren thought she might have just imagined it, might have heard her wrong. But Camila was looking down at her with her stupid pretty peanut butter cup brown eyes, smiling like she’d never been hurt before in her life, never had anyone treat her as anything other than extraordinary.

“Really?”

Because she needed the reassurance. She needed to know she wasn’t making this up, that someone like Camila really could love someone like her. She needed to know that there were good things in the world that could actually happen to her even if she felt she didn’t deserve them.

But Camila was right there. She was there and she was beautiful and she loved her and Lauren couldn’t stop smiling.

She leaned down instead of answering her, cupped her cheek and brought their lips together in a searing kiss. Lauren tried to lift herself to sit upright to kiss her properly and immediately grabbed her face and pulled her back into her, kissing her harder than she ever had.

Lauren tried to push them both back against the couch, overwhelmed with the way Camila was holding her, the way she was kissing her, the way she was in love with her. And she kissed her with an urgency and fire she didn’t think she was capable of feeling for anybody, a rush of emotions she hadn’t felt and never wanted to stop feeling.

Camila pushed back against her, flipping them around to straddle her waist. Lauren looked up at her, lips red and wet and slightly swollen and felt her heart beating so hard she didn’t think it was possible it would ever calm down again. And she would have been completely okay with it.

Her hands trembled as they reached for her waist, thumbing the hem of her T-shirt and glancing up at Camila’s flushed cheeks and messy hair falling over her face and shoulders. Camila grabbed the material herself and pulled it over her head, tossing it aside before leaning down and connecting their lips again.

Their kisses became fervent, hungrier, lips eager to taste more, to feel more, every inch. Camila moved her hands to Lauren’s sides underneath her top, feeling her warm skin under her fingertips and urged her to sit up to remove it as well.

Her lips trailed down the length of her neck, down her chest, over her breasts, fingers fumbling with buttons and zippers, before Lauren grabbed her face and pulled her back up, needing to kiss her more than she needed to breathe. Camila tugged her jeans down, felt her hands glide down her thighs, felt her skin burn and her breath catch at how unbelievably beautiful Lauren was.

She moved back up, kissing her lips, moving her hips and pressing impossibly closer into her until she felt like their bodies were fused together. She touched her stomach, dragged her hand lower, lower, felt the material of her underwear, felt the heat coming off of her body, felt the need and the undeniable want.

She felt it in her own body as well when she heard Lauren moan softly at her touch. She felt every emotion manifest itself into physical euphoria with every touch, every kiss, every beautiful noise Lauren made, holding onto her, urging her, and she’d never felt more content, never felt so certain.

It scared her, how much she felt for Lauren in such a short time. She didn’t see it coming but she didn’t think she had any say in it either. She didn’t think she had any power against it the whole time.

But it was okay. It was okay because it was Lauren.

She was there for her, she cared about her. Lauren cared about her. Lauren loved her. Lauren wanted her. She was enough for her. She was enough. She was enough.

* * * *

hey so…i’m not dead.

this isn’t the last chapter although the story is pretty close to ending. i’m gonna try to stick it out and finish it despite being heavily unmotivated. it’ll most likely be a slow process. i apologize but i’m trying to put my mental health first for a change instead of putting it on the backburner like always so writing isn’t my priority. i will try to finish it though, so thank you for sticking with both the story and with me while i figure things out.

and thank you for reading, i can’t believe this story is almost at 400k reads on wattpad. that’s bananas and it means a lot.

anyways, take care of yourselves and be nice to each other

-lex

#UPDATE #series #AU #slash #camren #angst drama #humour #romance fluff #submission #Blame It On Bad Luck

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