#also how the fuck do people even have an artstyle. my artstyle quite literally goes through the 5 stages of evolution

[kangelandamekinnie]

@codemiracle i drew this around 3-5 days before your birthday. the reason why i didn't get to show it to you is because i completely forgot about it💀 but anyways this involves that one hc where seth can turn into a rat :P (that is if you even remember it)

#also how the fuck do people even have an artstyle. my artstyle quite literally goes through the 5 stages of evolution #i havent been in a good mood for like a month now what the actual fuck #gotta go to sleep now lol #dies irae vn #dies irae #theownerambles.✧ #seph rambles with his fps :P (the agony is unbearable)

[whumpster-fire]

Dragon Rider’s Movie Adaptation: The Tragic Tale of How I’m so Fucking mad right now

Aaaaand looks like yet another of my favorite books from my childhood, along with the Percy Jackson and Artemis Fowl series, will be joining the “Has an adaptation but everyone pretends it doesn’t exist because it’s so goddawful that they couldn’t even get the actual author to pretend it’s not garbage” club: since according to the comments Cornelia Funke basically came out and said it sucked and they butchered her work.

Seriously... imagine buying the film rights to a beloved classic - spending actual money to get the IP rights - and then just turning it into a bland, half-baked ripoff of a totally different franchise. Like, if all you want to do is rip off How to Train Your Dragon, why did they even bother with that instead of making an “Original” story? Definitely the highlight of the trailer was when they showed the kid - I can’t remember his name from the book but with this tier of adaptation god knows they probably changed it - in a Viking helmet and a poster for an obvious HTTYD spoof because they knew damn well what they were doing, and thought if they made a self-aware joke about how obvious the ripoff was, people would be... okay with it?

These character designs are also just so... embarrassingly bad, especially considering the high quality cover art and illustrations in the damn book that they had to work off of. Some idiot in a suit, probably an entire committee of idiots in suits, had to have actively made the creative decision to change Firedrake into this... weird, bulbous flying sack of potatoes that looks like Barney the Dinosaur or something, make Sorrel this short-haired onion-headed generic furrybait (sorry, there’s no other way to put it) monstrosity that looks like she came from an Ilumination Studios Dr. Seuss Adaptation mixed with Elora from Spyro or something, make Nettlebrand not even remotely threatening or intimidating, and so on. Uhh... I guess Twigleg’s Design wasn’t complete garbage and that’s literally the only positive thing I can say about this?

Additional special mention goes to shoving as many racial stereotypes into the like five seconds of screentime the two Indian characters had in the trailer as possible (note that one of these characters isn’t even in the book so was apparently literally added to the movie for the sole purpose of this?)

The worst part of this whole dumpster fire is knowing that somewhere out there is an alternate timeline where Dragon Rider was adapted by Laika and became one of the greatest animated films of the 2020s. I mean, any studio that was actually trying to make a good movie would be better than this, but Laika’s artstyle if they treated it like Coraline or Kubo and the Two Strings would be so fucking perfect for this. My only misgiving would be I’m not sure the way they do fur would quite capture the amount of Grouchy Maine Coon Energy that Sorrel should have... but see above point that literally any even half-assed attempt at floof would be way, way more faithful to her design than fucking Elorax over here.

#not whump #except for the brain damage I suffered watching this trailer #rant #bad movies #fandom discourse #my sodium levels are off the charts captain