#also bicycles are so good like. i am not very good at biking so i hate riding on hills but when it's not a difficult ride

[ofpd]

im a guy who sits on his bicycle in such a normal manner

#txt #i like. rest my knee against the frame. i often stand while pedaling. and then look at other people biking “normally” and am confused why #also bicycles are so good like. i am not very good at biking so i hate riding on hills but when it's not a difficult ride #they're so good.... like they literally take you places

[holidayvisa]

27 January 2024 - I woke up at 8:26 am without an alarm to find a text from Cam saying that I needed to meet at the pick-up spot at 8:45 am. I FORGOT TO SET AN ALARM 😱. It took me 20 minutes to walk to this pick-up spot, but I had a scooter now. I didn't have time to eat any breakfast or even pack a lunch, so I threw a few muesli bars in a pack and raced out of the house. I got to the pick-up spot just a couple minutes early. Phew! I got picked up by Cam and Jordan and Ellie (one of today's clients). We drove to Piha and started getting ready for the trip. The other two clients, Will and James, showed up shortly after. I led most of the day, which felt really good. I led all four of the abseils. After the third abseil, we stopped for lunch, like usual. On the fourth abseil (the one in the flow of the water in the narrow slot section), Cam wanted to simulate a rescue scenario. Cam abseiled part of the way down and then pretended to panic while in the flow of the waterfall. I quickly set up to abseil on the other rope, abseiled down to Cam, locked off my abseil device, then physically lifted Cam out of the flow. Once he was out of the flow, he said he could abseil down the rest of the way. So, I set up to ascend my rope using two tiblocs and ascended to the top. At the top, I converted to retrievable and abseiled down. We finished up the last few features and hiked out of the canyon. We said goodbye to Will and James, and we hopped in the van with Ellie.

We drove to Piha Beach! This was my first time going to Piha Beach. When we have clients that we picked up in Auckland, we stop at Piha Beach so clients can take photos and walk along the beach. Piha Beach is a black sand beach from all of the volcanic rock in the area. I expected it to be course sand, but it was really fine and soft and squishy. It was really soothing to bury my feet in the sand. Jordan showed Ellie and me a kowhangatara (or spinifex) seedpod, which is New Zealand's tumbleweed. We watched several of these rolling along the beach and along the dunes.

We walked back to the van, and we practiced handstands for 15 or 20 minutes. I pulled out Cam's guitar and played guitar for a little bit. Eventually, we decided it was time to head out. In the van ride back towards Henderson/Te Atatu, Jordan invited me to join him in going to the Buskers Festival in downtown Auckland; I enthusiastically accepted! And I invited Ellie to join Jordan and me; she enthusiastically accepted! So, Cam dropped all three of us off at Jordan's car in Te Atatu. We piled in and drove into the city. As we walked from Jordan's car to the downtown area, we saw a whole bunch of people gathered. We assumed it was the Buskers Festival, so we headed in that direction. When we got to where the crowds were, we discovered that this was a Redbull diving competition! There were people jumping from 21 m (69 ft) and 27 m (89 ft)! We watched these competitors from all over the world do some INSANE flips and twists in midair and then pencil dive into the water. The most impressive dive we saw (in my opinion) was the New Zealander, who did a handstand on the 27 m platform, held the handstand for a few seconds, then launched himself out, doing two flips/summersaults before plunging into the water! It was incredible!

After seeing the New Zealander, we decided to leave the Redbull diving thing and find the Buskers Festival. We didn't have to go very far before we found it. We watched five different busker performances. The first was a diabolo spinner (also called the Chinese yo-yo) from Austria. The second was Chinnen, a fire spinner from Japan. The third was a pair from Japan called Heromacro, who did unbelievable strength and body control stunts. The fourth was Yldor, from Spain, who rode a bicycle while standing up on the handlebars and juggled flaming pins while standing up on the bike, one foot on the seat and one foot steering the handlebars! The fifth was a pair from Germany called Compania JoCa, who did tandem acrobatics, strength and body control, and cyr wheel (a big, metal hoop). Yldor was my favorite, and Heromacro was my second favorite. Yldor was really funny, and he was very warm and positive with the audience interaction. All of the buskers were phenomenal.

After the Buskers Festival ended around 8 pm, Jordan, Ellie, and I drove to the night market in Pakuranga. We all got food and ate there. Jordan shared with us Mauri fry bread and Mauri raw fish, both were delicious. After the night market, we went back to Jordan's place and pet the cats, played ukelele, and hung out til after midnight. I missed the last train back to Henderson from Auckland, so Jordan drove me home.

I'm grateful to Cam for trusting me with leading a lot of the trip today. I'm grateful for a fun day in Piha Canyon followed by a beautiful visit to Piha Beach. Cam told me that whenever there's a big trip from now on, I'll be a paid second guide! I'm grateful to Jordan for inviting me to join him at the Buskers Festival. I'm grateful for Jordan's and Ellie's company all day! I'm grateful for the opportunity to see some amazing buskers from all around the world. I'm grateful for Jordan's friendship. Jordan is a really good guy; he's genuine, generous, and compassionate.

[voraciousvore]

Boarding School for Giants (3/25)

Start from the beginning: https://www.tumblr.com/voraciousvore/731600430392639488/boarding-school-for-giants-125?source=share

------ Chapter 3 ------

The vice principal remained silent for a while. He walked around outside in the schoolyard for a long time, cradling me in his capacious hands, until I finally started to calm down and stopped shaking. 

“Are you alright?” he asked gently. I could feel his voluminous voice filling his chest as he spoke. 

“Yeah,” I mumbled, and rubbed my face with my hands to compose myself. “Sorry about that.” 

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he replied softly. “I understand how scary it is, to be around giants for the first time. I assure you, no harm will come to you here. You’re safe.” I appreciated his efforts to comfort me, but I didn’t believe his words, even if he was being genuine. Even if none of the giants intentionally harmed me, which was a dubious assumption to start with, I had become painfully aware of how easy it would be for one of them, simply by virtue of their great size, to accidentally drop me or smash me. Just the thought of navigating the floor of the school, surrounded by gigantic clomping feet that could crush me like a bug, filled me with dread. 

“How am I supposed to get around this place, when everything is so big?” I questioned the giant man, looking up at his face with wide eyes. 

“Oh, right. An astute question. We will actually provide you with a bicycle that you can ride all over campus, including indoors. It'll be far more expedient that trying to walk everywhere with those tiny little legs of yours.” He let out a good-natured chuckle and looked down at me with a kind smile. “Would you like a tour of the school now? I’m sure knowing where everything is will make your first day much easier.” 

“Yes, I’d appreciate that,” I answered timidly. The giant started walking back towards the central plaza. The students had finished their classes and were pouring out of the main building, so the vice principal waited until foot traffic died down before entering the stone structure. He showed me the now empty classrooms, which other than the giant scale of them were fairly typical, with the exception of a row of human-sized desks elevated on a shelf along the wall, with a staircase to reach them and a bike rack underneath. I had to admit, the design was surprisingly clever. At least while in class I wouldn’t be sitting on a desk on the floor, where somebody could accidentally step on me. 

Next, we checked out the cafeteria, which had a separate human section of tables tucked away in the corner. Mr. Henderson explained to me that the cafeteria workers would prepare my meals and leave them in a discreet designated area for me, which was a platform near the floor adjacent to the serving area for the giants. Since for now I was the only human student in the entire school, he told me that it wouldn’t be practical to have a full serving area for humans, and I would be given prepackaged meals in brown paper bags. Fair enough I suppose. Having suffered a mild degree of food insecurity as a child, I wasn’t picky. Food was food. 

We passed by the bathrooms, and I was very grateful to see there were entirely separate, private facilities specifically designed for human accessibility. We also popped into the library, which had a modest selection of literature for humans to read on one of the bottom shelves. The giant then carried me back toward the administration offices, where I had met the principal. Reminded of the unpleasant interaction, I shivered and gripped one of the giant’s thick fingers in my hands. In response, he curled his fingers around me protectively. The principal was still in his office, focused on paperwork. He looked angry. I sank down lower into the giant’s hand, hoping I wouldn’t be seen. 

Keeping his voice low, so as not to disturb his boss, the vice principal said to me, “This is my office over here, at the end of the hall. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to come see me.” He held me up to his eye level and gazed at me intently. “I really mean that. Okay?” 

I looked back into his expressive brown eyes. They were full of warmth, just like a cup of coffee. “Okay,” I echoed quietly. He smiled, and his eyes lit up. He brought his hand back down to his prodigious torso and continued the tour. I swayed back and forth in his hands with every lengthy stride. 

We went back outside. By now, the sun was starting to sink down into the horizon, casting long shadows and bathing the earth in the bright, ethereal light of late afternoon. Streaks of orange and pink clouds ornamented the firmament. A mild, warm breeze ruffled my hair. The feeling was lovely, and almost made me forget how messed up my life had become. Almost. 

Mr. Henderson was a tall man, even for a giant, not to mention a figure of authority on campus, so he drew attention wherever he went. There were some giant students hanging around in the courtyard around the school, and most of them at least glanced at him as he passed by. Some of them, if they happened to spot my miniscule figure in his hand, looked me over as well. Their reactions were mixed: some confused, some curious, some disdainful. I didn’t like the attention: It scared me. At my old school, I had been a troublemaker and an outsider—some might go so far as to label me a “loser”—and therefore I was the natural target for some nasty bullies. Here, being the only human at a school populated by giants, I couldn’t avoid being an outsider even if I tried to blend in. I really didn’t want to think about the sort of horrors a bully who was a giant could inflict on me. 

We made our way to the athletic area behind the school. The school sponsored several sports and extracurricular activities, so the field was crowded with giant students playing football and soccer. Several students were jogging and sprinting on the track, and others took advantage of the basketball court to play with their friends. While I had never been the type of girl to be involved in sports, I was a little sad that I was by default excluded from joining my giant classmates in any sort of outdoor activity, lest I be unwittingly squashed underfoot. 

“Our school has a rich tradition of fostering athletic prowess,” Mr. Henderson recited, as if he were reading from a brochure. “Although, I’m sorry to say, you won’t be able to play.” He winced. Clearly, he cared about the wellbeing of his students, and didn’t like the idea of a student being excluded from social activities simply by virtue of her physical stature.  

“I should also mention, you’ve been formally excused from attending PE class, so some of your schooldays will be shorter than the rest. We figured you’d get plenty of exercise just from traversing our giant-sized campus.” He was right about that, and I certainly wasn’t going to complain. I hated PE, and less time in school was an added bonus. 

The giant was now skirting the edge of the campus, alongside the tremendous hedges and the buildings housing all the students. I felt some apprehension. How would I handle living and sleeping in a space full of giants? It didn’t sound safe or practical. Fortunately, though I didn’t voice my concerns, they were swiftly addressed. 

“We have a separate dormitory built for humans that you’ll be staying in,” the giant commented. “However, the dormitory for girls has yet to be constructed, so your building is located next to the housing for the giant boys. I hope you don’t mind. I suppose our board of directors assumed we would be getting male students first. On the plus side, you’ll have the whole building to yourself, being the only human. Here it is.” 

I crawled over to the edge of his huge hand to get a glimpse of my new home. The human dormitory, in terms of style and construction, looked identical to the giant dorms, but was positively puny by comparison. The roof didn’t even reach the giant’s knee. From my vantage point in the giant’s hand, the whole structure looked like a dollhouse that the giant could kick over and stomp into rubble if he were so inclined. I wasn’t particularly fond of that mental image, especially considering I would be living inside the building. 

The giant lowered his hulking mass into a crouch, moving slowly to avoid knocking me over, and placed his hand on the concrete so I could dismount. Relieved to be in control of myself again, I slid off his hand and onto my own two feet. I took in my surroundings from the ground. Everything looked so much larger. The monumental buildings seemed to stretch upwards into infinity. The grass along the sidewalks turned into a forest. The human dormitory next to me, which I thought looked like a toy from the giant’s hand, transformed before my eyes into a full-sized structure. I looked up at the giant who towered over me. 

“Here’s your bike,” he remarked, pointing to the bike rack. He spun the front wheel playfully with his index finger. I had to admit, the bike was nice. It was a street bike of a simple design, very plain, painted blue, but still of a decent quality. 

“Do you have any questions or concerns for me before I leave?” the giant asked. My mind went blank and I couldn’t think of a single thing. I was still overwhelmed with all the new developments that had transpired over the course of a single day. Just this morning, I had been at home, oblivious, having never seen a giant in my entire life. And now I was living among them, surrounded on all sides by a world not designed for me. I shook my head. 

“Alright then. It was a pleasure meeting you, Eren. Good luck on your first day tomorrow,” the giant concluded. He dug into his pocket and pulled out my bags, setting them down next to me on the pavement. Then, he raised himself up off the ground and stood up to his full, incredible height. I couldn’t help but gawk at the colossus that loomed high into the sky. He was so tall, I was surprised his head didn’t touch the clouds. He regarded me, the pathetic little creature dwarfed by his gigantic shoe, for a long moment with a pensive expression, then turned away and strode off, his footsteps sending tremors through the ground as he went. 

I exhaled a shaky breath. Even though he had been kind and gentle towards me, the giant had still aroused a primordial fear from deep inside me. As if to cement that notion, the earth beneath my feet began to quake as some giant students strolled toward their dorms, and I hurried inside the human building with my bags before any of them could spot me. The floor, the walls, even the ceiling rattled as the group of giants ambled by. They were talking to each other as they walked, and their loud deep voices filled the air and made it vibrate. I cringed and hugged myself tightly with my arms in a feeble attempt to calm myself down. Eventually the footsteps faded into the distance. There was no way I was going to make it through this nightmare. I felt a rising panic threatening to break through my chest. 

Trying to force down these overpowering emotions, I distracted myself by scrutinizing my new home. The first thing I noticed was a manila envelope that was on the floor inside the entryway. Since none of the giants could fit in the building, I assumed one of them must have opened the door and tossed the envelope inside for me. I opened the envelope. It contained a packet of papers that included my class schedule, some general introductory information about the school, a promotional pamphlet, and a contact list with emails and phone numbers with all the teachers and staff. My stomach tightened as I realized I didn’t have my phone or a computer. I couldn’t contact anyone; I was alone. 

I held in my feelings, close to bursting, and continued to explore. There was a communal space that was furnished with some used couches and a scratched-up coffee table. A mini kitchen area contained a counter, sink, microwave, fridge, and a cheap plastic table with chairs. Tucked away in a corner was an ancient washer and dryer set. The bathroom resembled a public restroom with toilets and showers. The beds were lined up all in one room, so I suppose if there were other students there wouldn’t be much privacy. I had it all to myself though. My stranded, lonely self. At least I had my own space to hide away from the giants if the whole experience became unbearable. 

I wondered to myself how the giants got all the furniture inside. Did they hire a human crew to construct the building and bring everything in? I wasn’t sure how often, if at all, humans crossed the barrier into giant society. I surveyed the walls and ceiling and noticed an odd seam running along the edges on top. The seam outlined all the rooms in the building, except for one section that was instead a set of monstrous hinges. The mystery was solved. The roof was removable. I wasn’t safe here either. At any time, one of the giants could remove the roof, reach in, and snatch me up. 

The light outside faded until the darkness of night took over. I could hear giant crickets screeching outside, a little bit too loud to be pleasant. I was hungry, but the absolute last thing I wanted to do was go out among the giants and trek the formidable distance to the dining hall. I was too anxious to even consider it. Instead, I had a cigarette for dinner. I smoked inside, because I didn’t give a damn. I had less than a single pack left, so I was going to be forced to quit smoking soon. I doubted I could just sneak out and buy human-sized packs like I did back home. 

Could I even leave the campus safely, or was I effectively trapped here? Only time would tell. Cold reality was hitting me hard. I was slipping into fear and despair. I felt horrible, being so small and alone and isolated. My empty belly churned. I prepared for bed. I was emotionally drained and exhausted. I laid down in one of the beds, curled up into a tight ball, and struggled not to cry at my misfortune. 

Next chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/voraciousvore/731601992457306112/boarding-school-for-giants-425?source=share

#g/t #giant/tiny #giant #sfw g/t #tiny #giant tiny #g/t fluff #size difference #boarding school for giants #g/t writing

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Well, I'm very happy with this week's answers to my asks so I thought just one other ask before I let everybody get back to their lives. As I would like to do my Berlin Rammstein tour by bike instead of by bus (also we still need to know the street where baby bobble hat Paul was walking with his plastic wrapped guitar) I was thinking about Rammguys on bikes. I think you don't do pictures where they were unaware of it being taken but maybe it still can be a nice compilation.

That is actually a pretty good idea 🌺 and be sure to let us know if you find that street 🥰 (any excuse to post the bobble hat again 🥰)

My newest resolution is indeed not posting pics when the guys don't know they are being filmed (let's see how long i can stick to it), but that doesn't mean we don't have some bicycle stuff 😊

Olli, Schneider, Paul from this year (by Jens Koch)

Flake resp. Till

Olli and Paul from last year (also by Jens Koch)

Schneider and Richard from a couple of years back

and another one for Olli cycling from hotel to stadium (2022)

Have fun in Berlin!! 😘

#rammstein on bike #cycling team rammstein

[yapcarms03]

A DECADE AND NINE YEARS OF JOURNEY

My life started when my mother was rushed to the hospital. At the hospital, I immediately came out of her womb due to my excitement to begin my journey in this world. I was born at 10:22 in the evening of July 3, 2004. At birth, I weighed 3,300 grams. I had dark brown eyes and no hair.I have five sisters, and I am the fourth one. By the time I was 11 months old, I had learned how to walk. I don't actually remember my first birthday, but I remember my third birthday. It was so special to me that day. I can still remember when my father bought me my first bicycle and my favorite food of all time, and it was palabok. Ever since my father bought me a bike, I've always been thrilled to go to the basketball court, and there I practice biking with my father. When I was 4 years old, I learned how to bike with two wheels. 

During my middle childhood, my life was full of wonder, imagination, and traveling. Every summer, we used to visit my lola house. I'm always thrilled to see my lola aunties, uncles, and cousins and eat delicacies like laing, bicol express, tinapa, pancit bato, and kinalas; however, my extremely favorite is laing and bicol express, especially more spicy. As far as I can recall, me and my cousin always play in the backyard and climb trees to get mangoes, but my cousin climbed these pili nuts, coconuts, and Spondia purpurea (sininguela) trees because I can't climb very high trees. We used to fetch the ducks and pegions, feed the chickens, and clean the stinky cages of the pigs. At the back of the house of my lola, there is a huge rice plantation, and I always like to go there because I can see the splendid view of Mayon volcano, and there I can smell the cleanest air far away from all those pollutions. At that time, even when the sun is out and so hot, I always want to go out there and chill by the beautiful view. It was my ultimate favorite place to hang out with me and my cousins, and there we would harvest the rice plant and put it in a sack of rice, and we would sell it and earn money. I have always been an adventurous, curious, naughty, rascal,and no-bounds girl. Every time we have to go back home,I cry and hide. I always wish summer would never end.

In my teenage years, I've become interested in more adventure stuff. This time, I learned how to drive a motorcycle and got into more accidents. I also learned the basics of skateboarding, which is why I have a lot of scars, especially on my knees. In my teenage years, I also learned how to swim. On my 18th birthday, I learned how to dive and fell in love with cliff diving. I had two best friends who were in my neighborhood. We promise each other to be together forever. They are my childhood best friends.We always used to play Chinese garter, catch ball, patintero,hide and seek,biking on the side of the road, playing computer games, and lots of fun stuff. We used to buy and eat barbecue, ice candy, and ice cream, and buy junk food and soft drinks in the other store; even though we do have a store,it's just that my father will not allow me to eat unhealthy food. We used to hang out in Cafe Namo, SM, and other places. Somehow, the longer our friendships became, the more toxic they became. At the end of the year 2021, December 31, it was night, and suddenly I was contemplating whether I would fix our friendships or end them. I'm an idiot who is terrified to have a conversation with them, which is why my only option is to Gost them. I know it's wrong, painful, and cowardly of me, but I must do it. For a profound reason, in the year 2024, we bumped into each other. And it was totally awkward. She smiled at me, and I smiled back. And she asked me, How are you? I responded, I'm good, and she responded, Oh, that's nice to hear. She actually asked me if I wanted something since we bumped into the store. I said no, thanks. She says okay, and then we go both ways.

I am almost in adulthood. A variety of emotions and experiences define this crucial chapter of my life. I discover valuable life lessons and grow in self-discovery. I am so grateful and proud of myself, despite all the changes and highs and lows I encounter along the journey of my life. And yet here I am, still not giving up. Each day of my life, I'm getting more courageous, resilient, persistent, and determined. And I am always encouraging myself to be open to every opportunity and to never stop learning. As well as never losing hope in the dreams I'm still striving for. Because I know I can be more, I can travel to the places where I want to be, and that's 195 countries. I want to try a variety of foods and cultures in every place I go. I want to try new and adventurous things, like exploring caves, surfing in Siargao,skydiving, scubadiving, riding a hot air balloon in Cappadocia, shark cage diving, swimming with dolphins, going to the Amazon River, where I want to see a real piranha, hiking to Machu Picchu, or going to the Van Gogh Museum. And so on. That is why I need to be wise in terms of how I spend my money, learn to roll the money, and work hard to achieve this bucket list of mine. Lastly, my ultimate goal is to build my parents house near nature. I know this can all be unrealistic, but hey, we never know what our lives are going to be. Because if we did not have all these dreams and goals in our lives, we would be all missirable and lost in life.

[crashtestjeffy]

Tuesday

We never got supper last night. Which was pretty depressing. My daughter managed to make some frozen fries and cheese. And I w ent without. Poverty and being disabled is evil.

Yesterday I got an appointment that could, if I can get the damn doctor to listen, begin making sense of all my health issues. I was talking to someone in the health profession (off the record) and they said "You have all these issues and the doctor is just treating them and not looking at the big picture. All of them are symptoms of a few issues and I think the most likely could be an autoimmune disorder". And I went home and read about the shit and thought 'Holy shit, that is everything I got' so...

If my doctor refuses to listen and at least allow me to allay my concerns I will ask to see another doctor. This has got to stop where I go in and the doctor writes a script and leaves after 8 minutes.

The weather is not predicted to be very good until Friday. So I cannot get a ride in on my bicycle. Incidentally whenever I unlock my bike and get going in my head the song "Bicycle Race" by Queen starts to play and I see many buxom women topless on bicycles in my head as was the clip they made of the song and the cover. A source of my early sexual awareness.

In my early sexual awareness I did learn that fat bottomed girls indeed do make the world go round.

I am at a loss at what to do about my daughter and her attitude toward attendance at school. She seems to view it as laissez faire. And will not listen to me about how her attendance now effects her habits and commitments later and it's a bad habit to create. It makes it more frustrating that she treats every silly 4 hour shift at her part-time job as sacred. And becomes quite emotional about missing one.

Ironically (or not) as a socialist and a fuck the system dude, I also have to fight against my internal dialogue that says that school is just the machine that programs kids to become drones in a workforce of obedient fodder for the bourgeoise. And that she should never consider the rules she is learning now as unbreakable if it means changing who you are and how you think about the system.

But I can't tell her that. The kid already skips way too much school...I would be giving her the keys to the candy store if I told her that right now.

I am struggling lately with how I turned out and how if I and followed the system I might have a much happier life. Even if everything about that nauseates me. But this was all triggered by a dream I had about a girl I was madly in like or crushing on in junior high. In the dream we met at some kind of reunion and fell in love and she held my hand and it was beautiful. When I woke up I looked her up on Facebook and she seems to have the perfect suburban life and is still very beautiful. Married with three kids and lots of photos of her on beaches taken from behind while she looks contemplative...as is the order of the IG gods. And cottage photos of her feet in a canoe as is the order of the Canadian IG gods.

But that's not my life. My life is a cramped apartment and struggle. Though I guess kids like me had a place. When we were in grade 9, a kid got kind of rude and aggressive with her so...I knocked out one of his teeth. Because I was a teenage dirtbag baby...Anyway, I got suspended for like two weeks (school was much more accepting of beating the shit out of each other back then) and my parents paid to have the tooth fixed, which they made me pay back from my job at the bowling alley. It was not nearly as noble as it sounds. I was still terrified to speak to her and she never even acknowledged me till two years later.

Life, it's what happens when you're making other plans.

I am fucking hungry. And broke for a few more days. If I was more agile I would lean on a skill I had back then as well...shoplifting. Dudes, I could walk out with half a store in my jacket and a fancy fuck you to the retail gods. That would be a dream right now. But in my current rickety state I would probably be caught and punched out by loss prevention whole some snot-nosed kid filmed it for TIk Tok.

Fuck my life. Please buy me lunch?

[eternal-echoes]

“Some will say: joy is born from possessions, so they go in quest of the latest model of the smartphone, the fastest scooter, the showy car.... but I tell you, it truly grieves me to see a priest or a sister with the latest model of a car: but this can’t be! It can’t be. You think: “so do we now have to go by bicycle, Father? Bicycles are good! Mons. Alfred rides a bicycle. He goes by bike. I think that cars are necessary because there is so much work to be done, and also in order to get about... but choose a more humble car! And if you like the beautiful one, only think of all the children who are dying of hunger. That’s all! Joy is not born from, does not come from things we possess! Others say it comes from having the most extreme experiences for the thrill of the strongest sensations: young people like to walk on a knife edge, they really like it! Yet others like the trendiest clothes, entertainment in the most fashionable places — but I am not saying that sisters go to those places, I am saying it of young people in general. Yet others say joy comes from success with girls or with boys, and even from switching from one to another or from one to the other. This is insecurity in love, which is not certain: it is “experimenting” with love. And we could go on.... You too are in touch with this situation which you cannot ignore.

We know that all this can satisfy some desires or create some emotions, but in the end it is a joy that stays on the surface, it does not sink to the depths, it is not an intimate joy: it is momentary tipsiness that does not make us really happy. Joy is not transitory tipsiness: it is something quite different!

True joy does not come from things or from possessing, no! It is born from the encounter, from the relationship with others, it is born from feeling accepted, understood and loved, and from accepting, from understanding and from loving; and this is not because of a passing fancy but because the other is a person. Joy is born from the gratuitousness of an encounter! It is hearing someone say, but not necessarily with words: “You are important to me”. This is beautiful.... And it is these very words that God makes us understand. In calling you God says to you: “You are important to me, I love you, I am counting on you”. Jesus says this to each one of us! Joy is born from that! The joy of the moment in which Jesus looked at me. Understanding and hearing this is the secret of our joy. Feeling loved by God, feeling that for him we are not numbers but people; and hearing him calling us.”

- Pope Francis, MEETING WITH SEMINARIANS AND NOVICES, 06 July 2013

#Catholic #Christianity #quotes #Pope Francis

[shamelesslymkp]

weird post, but I promise I haven't been hacked or whatever

(I mean. as far as I know.)

I've been thinking lately about all the things I or friends or family found that cost a bit of money but have legitimately made tangible differences in my quality of life, and how I always want to recommend them to people, and then I thought about how it's the xian holiday season and people are buying things for each other and making wish lists, so this just sort of seemed like a good excuse!

MKP'S List of Literally Life-Improving Things That Can Be Bought

Brand:

Flare Calmer earbuds - these are astonishingly life changing if you're sensitive to certain types of noise; it doesn't dampen overall volume of sounds but specifically targets certain frequencies that are the most painful for people, like the sound of nails on a chalkboard, or a buzzing overhead light. you still hear them, but they're somehow magically not as bad? I don't understand how it works but I know it does - I can use the vacuum with these in, instead of having the immediate urge to cover my ears.

Flare earshades - their catchphrase is something about turning down the volume on your life and like. that's literally what it does - it doesn't block as much sound as actual earplugs (which they also sell), it just lightens it a little. for reference, I wore mine during my brother's graduation, where a pipe organ was playing in a not huge chapel, so loudly I thought they couldn't possibly be doing anything, as I could hear everyone talking clearly and normally, but then I took them off and no yeah they were doing some major heavy lifting there

Capeables weighted cape - it's a weighted blanket that you wear! they have a whole bunch of other weighted products but this one was ideal for me

Brita Rapidstream filter-as-you-pour water pitcher - so Kate kept hearing me complaining about periodically not really drinking water because my brita filter tank would be out of filtered water and it would take me forever to refill it, and she pointed me in the direction of this thing, which - full disclosure, I still sometimes get in a cycle of not drinking water because the sink's too full to fill the pitcher, but it's a lot better - allows me to fill the pitcher at the same time I use it to drink water, so it's done a lot to keep me hydrated

Revlon Hair Dryer Brush - YMMV here, depending on hair type. I have very thick but very fine hair, which hairdressers and my mother assure me they'd kill for, but is also an incredible pain in many ways. I am ... not precisely coordinated, and I have a lot of trouble drying my hair with a normal hairdryer - it takes forever, so my arms start to hurt, and I usually hit myself in the head with the thing at least once, and it's just kind of a long embarrassing ordeal, ok? so I don't do it. THIS hairdryer is also a brush, and can get my hair almost completely dry (and looking great!) in under ten minutes. It also detangles super tangled hair with very little pain and hair-breakage? I guess because of the bristles? so there's that too!

Deskcycle - a... bicycle for your desk?? yeah, that's all I got in terms of funny description here; it's literally a little pedaling machine you can put under your desk or in front of your couch or wherever and use as an exercise bike, without the full uncomfortable bike seat or anything like that. (OK this one only works if you actually use it, so like. this is only intermittently life-improving)

Warmies Microwavable Stuffed Animals - smol friend! heavy from lavender-scented flaxseed filling! can be warmed up in microwave or cooled down in freezer! also available in long friend style, which can wrap around your neck!

BeKool Migraine Gel Cooling Sheets (& Roll-On!) - these are not as good as a full-on headache hat or even most ice packs, but they are incredibly portable, DO stick in place somewhat (if upright and doing things, I recommend using a cloth headband on top to keep it in place - if you're lying down you'll probably be fine), and last a surprisingly long time! it's not actual cold, just the cooling sensation, and you may need to remove it briefly intermittently to continue getting relief from it. the roll-on is cool, because you can target specific places (the strip is kinda.. limited in that respect), but be careful about using it on your temples because you can easily accidentally get close enough to your eyes to make them start watering from the menthol effect!

Generic:

Shower chair - if you get dizzy in the shower! if you have migraines or cramps and use long hot showers to deal with them! if you sometimes can't sleep and take a hot shower in the middle of the night but are so tired you find yourself wobbling! then a shower chair might be right for you!

Weighted blanket(s) - there's a lot of mass-produced ones on the market now, at reasonable prices and with reasonable quality, but I have to shout out to mozaic weighted blankets specifically for being the source of my first and dearest weighted blanket, handmade to my directions. (note: in general, getting a weighted blanket cover is a good idea and will prolong the life of your weighted blanket, but if you DON'T use a cover, you can often get a secondary benefit of a cooling effect from the blanket itself! the heavier the blanket, the more effective this is - it has to do with the volume of weighted beads or pellets and how long it takes them to warm through from your body heat.) (I think.)

Migraine glasses lenses - what calmer earbuds do for your ears, these do for your eyes! (note: Zenni optical now offers ROSE TINTED migraine glasses as well as YELLOW TINTED anti-bluelight glasses)

Hammock and/or Hammock Chair - this one really depends a lot on your sensory needs but they provide some of the Best Sensory Input possible for me. I have this lightweight convertible hammock/hammock-chair stand which I adore. [amazon link, with apologies]

Headache Hat - an icepack that you wear! there are many different versions out there, with variations on how/where the cold is applied to your skull; since I like having cold on the top of my head and not just around the sides, I usually get the FOMI brand - more specifically, I like to get the one with neck coverage, because I flip the neck part up to layer on top of the head part and it makes the hat as a whole stay colder longer. [amazon link, with apologies]

10 ft+ Charging Cords - look, they seem silly when you look at them, why would you get a ten foot charging cable, but once you've used them you'll never want to go back, you can charge your phone from your bed, from your desk, in your indoor hammock, wherever, it really does just cut down on the nuisance of it all

#potentially useful things! #mkp recs stuff for fun and no profit

[rustbeltjessie]

I'm currently participating in a month-long intensive writing workshop from Selah Saterstrom/Four Queens Divination. Which is fantastic, by the way—if she ever offers the Write Now! workshop again, I highly recommend it. The project I'm working on is somewhat autobiographical, and the autobiographical parts all come from approximately spring 2003-spring 2005. It's kinda funny, though, to be writing about a time in my life when I was a self-destructive trainwreck, while I'm here now in a time when I wake up, do school stuff with the kiddos, make myself a small breakfast of yogurt + granola + banana, and then do my stretches, before I sit down to write. (To quote myself: My life is easier now, but it's also less shiny. Or to quote W/IFS: Sometimes I miss those days—that's right, you heard me. Other times I could not give a damn.)

As research for my writing project, I've been rereading journal entries from that time period. Some thoughts/observations I've had while reading through them include:

1 - Wowwwww, none of these pass the Bechdel Test. Haha, I know a personal journal entry can't be measured with the same criteria as a film or whatever, but still. For a couple years there, I was very much "The Ugly One" from Teen Girl Squad. You know:

2 - I was actually surprisingly astute about my issues and patterns, even at the time. Astute enough to know how to stop them? No. But give me a break, I was in my early 20s.

3 - One thing that's the same as it ever was is that I am always lamenting about not writing enough. Like: I need to write more. Or: I've been writing a lot, but not as much as I want to. I think I'm just one of those people who, no matter how much time I spend writing, will always feel like it's not enough.

4 - I was reminded of an incident I'd—well, not forgotten about, but forgotten about an aspect of. So, for a couple months in the summer of 2004 I was traveling/couch-surfing. A., one of my roommates at the apartment I'd been living in prior to that, told me I could keep some of my stuff stored there until I found a solid place to live. When I did, I went back to get my stuff, and she informed me that while I'd been away, she'd had a party, and some of my stuff got stolen. Including my bike, and a bunch of my favorite records. In retrospect, I think she stole them, or gave them away, because she was a mean, fucked-up, vindictive person. And it just seemed really fishy. My stuff was the only stuff that got stolen; none of A.'s stuff got stolen, none of the stuff belonging to the person who'd moved in to take my place got stolen. Plus, it was only my most favorite records, not the ones I felt so-so about, and how would some random thief know what my most favorite records were or have the time to sort through the bin to find them? Anyway. That's not the part I'd forgotten about. What I'd forgotten is that when I got upset about it—and I wasn't even blaming her, I was just fucking upset—she called me something like a 'privileged crybaby' for being upset over 'little things like a bike and a few records.' Reading about that again just made me go: Uhhhh, what??? Like, I feel like getting upset about your bicycle and favorite records getting stolen is a pretty normal response for anyone to have in that situation? Especially when you're broke and can't afford to replace them?

In other, more recent news:

My oldest kiddo got an electronic drum pad for Christmas, but I asked him if I could mess around with it when he's not using it, and he's fine with that. So I'm teaching myself to play drums! That's like the only type of instrument I have no experience playing, so why the fuck not? I'm not good yet, but it's hella fun. And if I get better, and become a real drummer...well, if I'm an O.G. zinester and a drummer, I really will be the (nonbinary) girl Cometbus, haha.

I also found out that my county has launched a big harm reduction campaign re: drugs possibly being laced with fentanyl. They are giving out test strips, and Narcan, as well as doing one-off training courses in how to administer the Narcan. So I've signed up. Just because I don't do those type of drugs anymore doesn't mean I'm never around people who do, and I want to make sure I can help people if necessary. (I'm also really, really proud of my county for doing something like this. Harm reduction for the win.)

And, one last thing: I just discovered yesterday that if you type the word 'emo' on an Apple device, it suggests the black heart emoji. Amazing. 🖤

#rust belt jessie #personal #dear livejournal #on writing #ye olde days #i have a crush on every boy #ARROWED!!!! #currently #drums #i am the girl cometbus #drugs #harm reduction #don't call me emo. it makes me cry.

[yaviae]

The problem I have with Cas Crowfeather pt. #1

Usually, I am not doing serious posts in which I talk about characters I don’t like. I did it for fun on my Winx sideblog on which I did/do a post series in which I bitch about season 5. But that is fun. This is serious business. So why that? I started watching Weirdsister College yesterday again and Cas was just the most unlikeable new character ever in a first episode. But let’s break this down:

We see her first when she rides her bike to college and gets stopped by Ethel’s car. She’s angry and switches the traffic light to red. Fine. If I was in her situation I’d be pissed too. Too bad, that I hate riding a bike and therefore as a car driver hate those who do but lets get back to the show.

The first time she attracts negative attention is when she enters Milly’s room, sees Ethel and immediately starts bitching:

And Ethel (at least seems to be) is really sorry and apologizes and what does Cas do?

Ohh, you blame it on the servants! Girl? Ethel DID not drive! So how is that blaming the servants when the chauffeur maybe has a problem with bicycles? Every car driver has a problem with bicycles.

So Cas stays a total bitch and so Ethel volunteers to make the breakfast in the morning as an offering of peace. For Ethel’s standards that is the nicest thing in the world. Yes, we know she only tries to be on good terms with Mildred so that Mildred draws a picture of the all-seeing eye so that they can all pass. But firstly: Cas does not know that Ethel is a bit fake friendly here and secondly Milly does this for Nick only and gets upset later on when he wants to go before Ethel so that the all-seeing eye will also let her pass. So Ethel actually never had the chance to pass the all-seeing eye with Milly's help because she wouldn't help her anyway even though Ethel acts nice now. So Ethel does not even benefit from acting nice.

So but what happens next? It’s the next morning and Cas says this:

(At least that is what she says in the German dub I don’t really understand her accent very well in the English original)

So. Excuse me? Yes, Ethel failed with the breakfast but she did it anyway! Why does Cas need to bitch here again? It’s obvious, that her character is only there to be Milly’s cheerleader. She has no reason yet to be so negative about Ethel. If she’d know her like Milly, yes, then it would be fine if she mistrusted her but out of nowhere?? That’s just pretty damn uncool from her.

And now look at her face when Ethel passed the all-seeing eye:

What.A.Fkn.Bitch.

So don’t get me wrong. Ethel is a bitch herself and we love her for that. The problem I have with Cas is that she treats Ethel like shit from the start without knowing her. I am also pretty allergic to talking behind someone's back. Cas has zero reason to behave that way and while doing so she proves that SHE is the actual bitch in here.

Sorry if you like her but she is just the worst. A badly written character only there to be on Milly’s side in every situation. I really wished they had brought Maud back. She was a lovely bestie and a well-written character who even had some arguments with Milly. But Cas? Is always there to defend Milly out of nowhere for no reason. Milly does not need a cheerleader. We also don't need someone to bitch about Ethel. We know that Ethel isn't the nice girl next door without Cas being bitchy about her

What f*cks me up too is this scene:

It's just the worst to talk about someone's iconic fashion statement as something bad. Especially calling it childish. I'll never forget wearing two normal bunches (without braiding) at age 14 and my friend telling me that it looked childish. Ew. Eww. I remember Cas also criticizing Milly's fashion style later on and wanting to change it - which Milly does. It is not wrong to try something new or to change one's style to make a step into a new stage of life. But one has to do it on their own. Without people judging. It has to be the own free will. And I hate Cas judging Milly for that. It's okay if Milly wants to change it herself but Cas talking bad about it is not okay.

There will be a part #2 eventually if I have to vent again while rewatching. I love the show and just had to get it off my chest lmao.

#tww1998 #the worst witch #weirdsister college #the worst witch 1998 #cas crowfeather #mildred hubble #ethel hallow #I might post a bit more about tww again #so the aesthetics i post will stay but as i said this blog goes from blood to silk and anne boleyn to marie antoinette #and also from harry potter to the worst witch (1998)

[thistaleisabloodyone]

Watching the newest RMPG video on CL Live, where they are divided into three teams to complete challenges. When they assigned the teams, I think they ever-so-slightly stacked the athletic cards in Team Likiya's favor. (note: it does not yet have English subtitles and I am nowhere close to fluent in Japanese, we are rolling with visuals and the few words I can recognize only)

(second note: I am inherently a sarcastic human being and I curse like the dickens, but this is all meant in good humor and good fun.)

Team Likiya is the six man team and has Likiya, Kaisei, Riku, Makoto, Shogo and Kenta. Likiya, Kaisei and Riku all tend to excel athletically. And they've proven they can excel athletically together - while it did not last all of Dodgeball Kingdom, the three managed to basically shut out Rampage Silver for their first game. Kenta and Makoto were also basically the MVPs for Rampage Silver during Dodgeball Kingdom as well. Shogo, in my estimation, has not necessarily been the most excellent athlete in the Rampage, but he's also very determined.

And they were the team to have the most people go twice on the bicycles - Kaisei, Kenta and Shogo all went twice. Team Likiya also seems to have run off with the most paired bicycles, as they had 3 paired bicycles and Kaisei and Shogo both did both their runs as a pair (Kaisei & Makoto; Shogo & Kenta; Kaisei & Shogo).

Team Zin is Zin, Rui, Itsuki, Hokuto and Takuma, with Zin and Hokuto both going twice (once as a pair together, then each one individually). And... We love Hokuto. Hokuto is fantastic. Hokuto is not exactly the best athlete in the group. Hokuto's here to have a good time and that's valid.

Itsuki is, honestly, probably the best athlete on this team. In an episode of Run! Run! Rampage!, there was a challenge to see who could run, then dive and slide across a pad to grab a flag. They were in groups of four - Riku won his group (notably running and sliding with so much force he slid off the pad and into the wall - there were people to catch them for following rounds), Likiya won his group, Kaisei won his group and Itsuki won his group. Kaisei won the challenge over all (with a beautiful dive, in my opinion - and having basically four inches on everyone else in that round probably didn't hurt), but I am just recapping this to point out that Itsuki's the only one from that final round who isn't in Team Likiya.

Team YamaSho is YamaSho, Kazuma, Shohei, Ryu and Takahide. Takahide and Kazuma both went twice - once as a pair together, then each one individually. None of them stand out to me as particularly weak or particularly strong athletes. In the Run! Run! Rampage! live show, Takahide and Ryu were both chosen for the tug of war challenge - and Team Silver did win the first round of tug of war (ah... before Team Gold tagged Kaisei in and promptly won the next two rounds).

(when it comes to athletic challenges, Kaisei almost seems to be the cheat card - that might be why Kazuma tried to steal him for Team YamaSho when they were assigning teams at the start 😂)

Kaisei and Makoto started off for Team Likiya on a joint bike and, goddamn, were they fast. Took the lead quickly and did not let it go, then Likiya was also similarly fast. Then it was Shogo and Kenta and them going "Ni ni ni ni ni" in unison was fucking hilarious.

Then Riku fucking lapped Itsuki, who was still trying to finish lap 3 for Team Zin, while Team Likiya was on lap 4. Kaisei and Shogo took off on Lap 5 and Takuma really, really tried his best to help Team Zin catch up, but it's hard to catch up when you're a lap behind.

And then Kenta, for Team Likiya's final lap, also lapped Zin, trying to complete Lap 5. Team Likiya obviously won, with Team YamaSho in second place and Team Zin, unfortunately, in third by a decent amount.

But, yeah. TL;DR - in my opinion, Team Likiya pulled most of the best athletes in the Rampage and that made itself very evident in this weird bicycle challenge. However, we'll see how it works out for them overall in this series.

#team likiya basically just kicked ass #however likiya in general tends to have bad luck in challenges #so we'll see if team likiya's ass kicking continues #the rampage from exile tribe #the rampage #rmpg liveblogs

[catboysooyoung]

Trying to pick apart ORV as a very noob writer hence why I'm reading it very very slowly (it's actually because I've been so busy with work that I can barely breathe these days).

But anyways it's interesting just how much Yoo Sangah's introductory passage reveals her entire character setting. I didn't think much of this beyond the surface reading, as in "oh she's a heroine type who got a lot of unwanted attention because she's pretty and capable, but she's actually more than that, she's determined and independent."

I guess I've unfortunately been looking at her character through hankim's lens lol. But this is good. It means I'm one step closer to understanding her as a "person".

I feel like now that I've understood a fraction of what she's experienced (commuting daily to my full time job and minor workplace issues), I realized just how fucking insane and amazing Yoo Sangah is. It's also... Interesting how quickly she opens up to Dokja about this? I didn't really understand dok/sang before because I thought kdj didn't deserve someone like her (again. Hankim pov lol), but now I do. Despite being supposedly "popular" and "well liked" the workplace harassment she faced must've given her a sense of kinship with the office outcast...

Unfortunately this sentiment is not shared with Dokja, who due to his nature and self disregard, thinks of her as someone so above and beyond him, someone so far away due to her perceived "perfection". As Dokja is a reader by heart, he unconsciously sees her as a character and not a person in his life, and in doing so, rids her of her humanity a bit.

Hence why, though it doesn't necessarily mean that he thought those rumors are true, he must've thought there was some truth to it/the truth must not be too far from it, thus why he felt the need to add that as context. It establishes his limited outsider's perspective on YSA.

I feel like (and I could def be wrong), KDJ isn't necessarily judging her for it, he's just going with the commonly held assumption, and he reads it as something like "oh she's the type of heroine that would be waited on her hands and feet" and such, or something

So when YSA answers him, it's really funny because it really breaks that common assumption. Like, oh. YSA isn't just your good ol' cool heroine.

She's fucking insane.

Because with the way KDJ's narration leads us, or perhaps leads me. I'd think that the less sinister alternative (compared to the implications embedded in the rumors) would be that she's from a well to do family who has someone driving her, or, is able to drive herself.

But no, she fucking commutes to and from work every day on bike. On a fucking bicycle.

I know Seoul probably has bike paths and everything being a major city in a global north country and all that, and maybe her house or apartment isn't that far, but knowing Yoo Sangah, that probably wouldn't even be a problem.

And honestly given the fact that she said she's doing this to make up for the lack of exercise (which means it is something she does regularly too), probably means she'd have traveled either a long way or taken longer routes on purpose, knowing how she is.

Which is insane, to someone like me, who commutes every day by bus/train and has so little time to do much else and am thus probably much closer to kdj than i ever will to YSA.

To bike, to ((exercise)) daily as your commute to work is insane. It takes insane amounts of willpower and dedication. I know she mainly does desk jobs being HR and such but the workload is still a lot

So it just gives me this picture of like, how probably, neatly curated and insanely full YSA's life is, how committed she is.

The only reason she's commuting by subway here, isn't because she got tired or something, it's because her bike got stolen. Which prob means she's so used to doing it everyday that the only thing that would stop her is if something happened to her bike... That's amazing.

YSA is no perfect heroine or gentle woman. She's an insanely dedicated office lady who should also be drawn with the most powerful thighs in the universe. Okay that last one, I got sidetracked because I'm gay sorry. Point is.

Yoo Sangah.

#talk #mine #kit rereads orv #orv 2

[whipplefilter]

#LOWESFORPROS

I am not good at bicycling, and I’m pretty sure I never want to get good enough at biking that spending $$$$ on bicycles seems like an actually good idea (my primary bike cost $50 and my secondary cost $124--by contrast, before I moved, my neighbor was a VERY accomplished bicyclist and I’m pretty sure most of his bikes cost more than my car is worth!). But I want to be better bicycling, and I might use this blog as a place to record that journey. After all, this blog is home to all my Cars doodles, which are also the product of me doing something I really enjoyed but had no real desire to get really good at. Those were for fun and because drawing them helped me cope with anxiety. And my primary bicycle is named #LOWESFORPROS and has a 48 sticker on it, in Jimmie Johnson’s honor. So! 

Day 1

Today I biked up the hill by my house for the first time without just getting off the bike and walking.

Did I bike up it at the same pace that I have RUN UP IT? Yes.

Was my average pace--including both uphill AND downhill portions--5mph slower than Jimmie Johnson’s pace on the morning run he posted on Strava? Also yes.

Let me be clear about this: Jimmie Johnson’s morning run was 5mph faster than my bike ride. Including the part where I biked back down the hill. LOLLLLLLL.

So.... that baseline established--

My goals for the next 6 months:

1. Bike up the hill faster than I can run it.

2. Bike up the hill without stopping for breaks.

3. Gradually increase the gear I’m biking up the hill in. (That’s what low gears are for! you say. Sure, but I was using the lowest and second-lowest gear the bike even has. IT IS A MTB. THAT SHOULD NOT BE NECESSARY.)

4. Related to #3, get good enough at biking up the hill on #LOWESFORPROS, my MTB, that I can do it on Martha, my road bike, which has fewer gears. Ultimately I’d like to put actual MTB tires on #LOWESFORPROS; right now he has hybrid tires because I was using him as a commute vehicle. I’d love to use him as an MTB and have Martha be the commute vehicle.

5. Get good enough at biking up the hill that I can join a ride with the bike club in town in the C-class (slowest class) and not get left behind.

I don’t think I’m going to get much bike time in in April, because it’s going to be bad, work-wise, and I’ll be out of town in May. But I feel pretty good about the summer, because I’m aiming for 35-40hr work weeks, which means I’ll have way more free time than I do right now. The Hill is also part of my usual commute, so if I bike to work instead of driving, it’ll be built in anyway!

#lowesforpros

[21stcenturyschizoidcat]

Writing Autobiography 2:

Electric Boogaloo

(An essay written for a college class about writing)

As a lazy person, I often find the first draft will also serve as a final draft. Is it a weakness? Perhaps, but so far “good enough” has been good enough for my studies. I host a weekly radio show on WHIP, which is not scripted: I plan my music program ahead of time, then using my pre-existing knowledge of my song selection to fill in the gaps. I know that my argument and debate skills are (to be generous) lacking, but I feel that my off-the-cuff conversational skills are adequate, even if I need to pause to find my words every now and then. Thus is my internal justification for my lack of revisions, since I can usually pull something that reads well off on the first try. I think the reality of the situation is, however, that I am also just naturally lazy. Efficiency? Laziness? Both I feel are interlinked.

Do I like writing? I think so. I enjoy writing poems and lyrics, as well as the occasional narrative story, but often I find my problem is that I am without stories to tell. Among my best writings is my radio drama adaptation of The Shadow Over Innsmouth, but it is based on the H.P. Lovecraft novella of the same name. I wrote one of my few original stories as a fictional retelling of my experiences riding my bike home through the night time of Ocean City, New Jersey, after being freed from my seven-to-three shift at one of the Wawas on the island. Often on those deserted nights, whilst doing the cleaning at Wawa, I would hear the howling of the wind outside and see reflections in the windows I would mistake for people. Whatever physical layout that Wawa had made the swirling winds low and deep, as though it were the groan of some great, wretched beast in the distance. I was listening to a youtube channel around that time by the name of Lazy Masquerade, which consisted largely of readings from macabre tales, true crime case files, cryptid showcases, and other such spooky substance. The cryptid stories, particularly those of Skinw*lkers frightened me deeply, making those thirty-minute, three A.M. bicycle rides a treacherous endeavor, especially combined with the path I would take. The path I most often found myself riding would take me through a small nature trail, with houses and grass to one side and marshes on the other, with lights illuminating roughly two-thirds of the trail, leaving the final third drenched within what must be some of the deepest darkness on the island. When I would be allowed to leave work at six A.M. after starting at ten P.M., however, I would be met not with darkness and fright but rather with an exceptionally large number of rabbits hanging about.

I took my experiences and fears regarding those dark rides home and wrote a short narrative based on pretty much exactly that. I used my own experiences to try to build tension so that the only fictional part of the narrative came at the end, when I conjured my own demise at the hands of an unseen monster screaming with my voice. With that tale, I had to do very little conjuring to create what I felt to be a compelling and eerie story. My trouble comes with knowing how to construct a longer, more fleshed out story. Why should these characters do the things they do? What are their personalities? How do I keep plot momentum going?

In books, it seems, there is an unappreciated amount of things happening most of the time. Among the biggest flaws of my writing is, I think, the amount of describing I do. When it comes to dialogue, I never know how to blend the two naturally, which I see in so many novels. A full book, though, a full book has so much information in it, whether that information is narrative or informative. When I write, I find that each scene I write only lasts a short time, so I feel like if I were ever to write a whole book or script by myself, I would need to either create a long series of short shallow interactions, or find a way to add more substance and length to my writings.

I recently (last night) watched an independent movie by the name of Emesis Blue. An animated movie made using free software and mostly pre-existing assets from a handful of video games, and tells a story within the universe of one of those video games, Team Fortress 2, a game I myself am a fan of. The story is a horror story that blends influences from the video game it takes place within, various works of Stephen King, Stanley Kubrick, and Quinten Tarentino, and other more specific movies, such as Fritz Lang’s classic M and the modern horror The House That Jack Built. What I took away from the movie, besides it being very good, is that the film is a congregation of influences that are worn rather blatantly on the sleeve, but entertwined with creativity and love. The concepts explored in the film are all very clearly drawn from these earlier works, but are utilised in such a way to make a piece of media that is utterly novel and unique in the modern mediascape.

With my songwriting, I have been influenced by a number of musicians. Chief among them are Neutral Milk Hotel. Neutral Milk Hotel’s lyrics are strange, the chords are simple, and the emotion is high. The lyrics often create a beautiful series of images which, while not having much meaning literally, often act as transposed dreams, abstract thoughts culled from the author’s subconscious. Otherwise, the lyrics act as literal metaphors, so that the act of reading The Diary of Anne Frank is written variously as “And from above you how I sank into your soul / Into that secret place where no one dares to go,” “How I would push my fingers through / Your mouth to make those muscles move / That made your voice so smooth and sweet,” and “And in the dark, we will take off our clothes / And they’ll be placing fingers through the notches of your spine” among other strange metaphors. The resulting album is a beautiful, kaleidoscopic collection of intimate imagery indubitably conveying the author’s heartache at the horrors of the Holocaust and the death of Anne Frank.

I confess, my own lyric writing has often been confessional, as I use my music as a tool to work through personal conflict within myself. I wrote the song “Bisquit” about the kind of discomfort I felt from my mother, and I wrote multiple songs about my disdain for my hometown and my desire to become a wandering vagabond. What I noticed is that the lyrics I find the most satisfaction with are the ones I write while incredibly sleepy, which made making music while working the night shift a breeze. Sufjan Stevens has recently made a great impact on me and the way I conceptualise songwriting. Chicago, for instance, is a single four chord loop that goes on for over six minutes, but ever changing dynamics, musical textures, lyrics, melody, instrumentals, and the layered musical motifs of the song all create a truly powerful and gripping exaltation of love, regret, and growth.

To conclude, I’ll leave you with a quote from Wes Anderson’s iconic Grand Budapest Hotel that I believe is advice on writing I should take:

“It is an extremely common mistake: people think the writer’s imagination is always at work, that he is constantly inventing an endless supply of incidents and episodes, that he simply dreams-up his stories out of thin air. In point of fact, the opposite is true. Once the public knows you are a writer, they bring the characters and events to you -- and as long as you maintain your ability to look and carefully listen, these stories will continue to seek you out [...] over your lifetime. I can't tell you how many times in my lifetime. [...] To him who has often told the tales of others, many tales will be told.”

#oc #essay #neutral milk hotel #lazy Masquerade #sufjan stevens #wes anderson #the grand budapest hotel #writing #emesis blue #team fortress 2 #horror

[companionwolf]

So. Central.

[inhales]

I'll start off with a few answers to questions a pal in a server asked when I went PLEASE PLEASE ASK ME lol.

Fave color-- green.

Fave childhood item-- action figures; he also likes retro (80s) game consoles.

Fave food-- very classic Americana, so pizza, subs, steak, etc. Homemade is better.

Dogs or cats?- I associate him both with cats (namely black cats) and huskies, but I think he would be a dog person.

Okay, now here's the contents of my 'things I know about F/O!Central' doc. You should feel special; no one's seen this except maybe you (I don't remember) and one another friend. Used a OC emoji ask games questions for these.

Under the cut because wow long!

things I associate with my selfship: the colors dark green, XCOM blue and black, stars, cats, mallard ducks, otters, swords, oranges, acoustic guitar, the concepts of Halloween, camping, cooking, and crochet, the ocean, foxes, flannels, sweaters, map-making, weapons, coffee, action figures, 80s/90s/early 2000s stuff

- does crochet; he's actually better at it than I am 

- very loyal; sarcastic and stoic; secretly enjoys soft comfy things (feels like he has to hide it + his more vulnerable side because of being a guy?)

- he swears but not super often and I don't think he says fuck unless it's like REALLY bad (or uh. Really Good. 😏) 

- not superstitious (canon?)

- 'ghosts aren't real Commander'

- doesn't like gambling

- uses fidget stuff for more like. PTSD and dissociative stuff than ADHD/autism but the point is he uses them 

-- likes retro (80s, 90s) stuff; as a kid enjoyed early Nintendo titles

-- leery of furbies (sorry furbies this mental image is too funny)

-- pokemon team (chosen from mons he'd know about) Riolu (Lucario), Turtwig (Torterra), Cubone (Marowak), Absol, Axew (Haxorus), and Eevee (Sylveon); sylveon is shiny

⏳ HOURGLASS - are they usually late or on-time?

Punctual if he can help it.

🔫 PISTOL - do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

He doesn't trust that easily, but once he does, he'd rather die than turn his back on them. He's been backstabbed before, in the days after base fall. If given a ultimatum, say death or betrayal, he'd die. 

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

He likes interior design and building things. 

📦 PACKAGE - what are some “most likely to…” that can apply to them?

'Mostly likely to forgo medical attention.'

'Mostly likely to shield someone else with his body.'

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

Please see a therapist. Also love me but that's a request not advice.

⚙️ GEAR - what are your ocs thoughts on science & art? which do they give more importance to? how much value do they place on each?

Central doesn't really get science - he's more of a brawny type, but he respects it. He doesn't get art that much either, but he likes to see what others make. 

🔧 WRENCH - are they good at fixing relationships? or do they tend to avoid doing so?

He's fairly good at repairing relationships that are non-personal. With personal relationships, he flounders a bit but tries his best. 

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

Values practical things the most, like supplies, weapons, clothes, medical stuff, food, but is also pretty soft when it comes to personalized gifts. As for prized possession, it's the kandi bracelet the Commander gave him.

📏 RULER - is your oc well educated? where did they get their learning from?

Fairly well educated. I don't know yet because it hasn't been revealed to me (ie I haven't picked something that Feels correct).

🚲 BICYCLE - can they ride a bike? what do they remember from learning to ride a bicycle?

He can ride a bike. 

🌩️ LIGHTNING - are they scared of lightning?

No.

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon?

He wears long sleeves to cover self harm scars. It's one other reason he misses the sweater. 

❄️ SNOWFLAKE - do people consider them cold? if so, what made them this way?

Yes; trauma based. 

🔥 FIRE - do they have any self destructive tendencies? what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

The alcohol addiction is self destructive; he also self isolates. He also can be just kinda irritable and a bit a of a dick to others. He's working on it.

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

He crochets and buys plushies for the Commander.

🌟 GLOWING STAR - what do they think about when they look at the night sky? is there someone they want to star gaze with?

It used to excite him, but now he looks at the stars with disdain. He thinks about what ifs. Stargazing seems romantic, though-- he'd do that, if his partner wanted. He'd even enjoy it.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

That XCOM had won the initial war.

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

That he's cold, unfeeling, mean. He IS cold, but it's an outside persona. He feels, he just doesn't express it much. 

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

Physical touch (man's touch starved).

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

Loyalty, mostly. And no.

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticable? what changes when they’re in love?

...Honestly? Yeah it kinda is * stares at canon with my ship goggles on *; he gets softer for them, wayyyy devoted.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

To others: Affirmation and gift giving. 

For himself (receiving): Acts of service and physical touch.

💙 BLUE HEART - do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn’t around?

Because it's the Commander, he gets a little weird if they're apart for too long. He doesn't want to lose them again. He's often colder and standoff-ish even more when he doesn't know his partner is around. This slowly improves though.

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

Food; he likes cooking, especially homemade. Gifts, especially handmade. Parallel play. 

💖 SPARKLING HEART - are they a subtle or a showy lover?

Subtle. 

💌 LOVE LETTER - do they like love letters? what kind of messages do they leave for their partner?

He thinks love letters are way too vulnerable and mushy but at the Commander's request leaves little sticky notes around with encouragement.

#wolf barking #barking asks #f/o tag #me everytime.i give f/o a new little detail; i took the liberty of spicing up ur boy firaxis #hes my boy now

[bookwyrminspiration]

I’ll share some hobbies if you’re interested! Ok, so if you have enough room, gardening can be a really fun tactile activity (although you need to remember to water the plants-I forget a lot). If you have a bicycle than maybe try biking-I don’t do it a lot but it’s still fun. Origami is really enjoyable and easy to start, because there’s a lot of different skill levels and origami just also looks cool ;). Also because origami is paper you can draw on what you make! I don’t know how you feel about going to museums/zoos/etc, but if there are any fun ones nearby they can also be fun and tactile. And maybe if it’s hot you could try water activities like swimming or water balloon fights? These are just the first things that came to my mind so if you want more I can think of some more. Anyway, if you have any hobby suggestions I’d like to hear them too! Good luck!

- Amethyst

~

I am interested, that’s why I asked! I do like plants very much (though I’m not the most knowledgeable about them)--I’d actually been leaning towards gardening this year but then my dad used our whole garden for just like these flower seed packets or something. Which is like. Cool but also if you’d mentioned you were gonna do that I would’ve said hey can you only use part of the garden because I also. Want to use the garden. Please. So I’d have to get more pots and such for gardening.

I do have a bike! It doesn’t like to be in first gear but aside from that it’s working fine. And might be as old or older than me, extended family randomly brought it down to pass down to me a couple years ago for some reason.

Also! You’ve reminded be that I have origami paper. Baha’i center was clearing out some of its old children’s classes’ supplies a few years ago and I took a handful of things, including origami paper! I don’t know much origami except how to make a jumping paper frog, which I don’t think really counts. And once I spent an entire school day making paper cranes out of post it notes for a friend’s partner’s birthday. They wanted 1000 cranes (for a wish) by their 18th birthday (I think...? now that I’m thinking about it there might’ve been an odd age gap in that relationship but we’re out of touch now) and said friend wanted to complete that for them but needed help so there were a handful of us just making a shit load of paper cranes all day. But I’ve completely forgotten how to make paper cranes. I only know frogs. Tried to make a hat/sail boat the other day and started making a frog on accident instead.

I do like museums (zoos not as much but still cool), and there are a good number nearby. Biggest hurdle there is the social anxiety but I can handle that. And yes! I live in a desert so it does get hot here, so swimming and water related activities are very possible!

Thank you very much for all the suggestions, I really do appreciate them.

A few activities/hobbies I personally enjoy are cross-stitch and puzzles (logic, sudoku, physical puzzles, riddles, etc), sewing/altering clothes, baking, research/learning things, etc. Not as tactile or movement based, hence why I was asking for suggestions :)

#submission #quil's queries #amethyst nonsie #long post #oh also latchhook is very fun in my opinion #though I haven't done it in a while because I think my local craft store got rid of all the kits #and stopped selling them #either that or they're in the middle of bumfuck nowhere because I can't find them #anyway! i appreciate the suggestions and will try to employ some of the many suggestions I got when needed #which. probably won't be for a few days because i've got Things yesterday and today so no excess energy for me rn :) #all getting used