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#all my homies hate espn
lady-laura-speaks · 1 year
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Call him a backup again.... I fucking Dare you 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
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fortyfive-forty · 4 months
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i'm literally abt to commit a crime
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lindholmline · 1 year
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anyways all my homies hate espn
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pearfight · 2 years
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I hate how hard it is to stream games nowadays
fuck espn+ all my homies hate espn+
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torunarigha · 2 years
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i hate espn+ all my homies hate espn+... herthaphobic bastards
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loringj23 · 3 years
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The Days are Still Good
Today I woke up around 1 pm, not too early, not too late. My dad was waiting in his truck reading something. He harassed me for a second about being lazy.  “No no don’t worry about me, Jubu, I know you have a busy schedule you don’t have to mind ol chop liver over here.”     Chop liver? I think in this context it could be synonymous with that time you got picked last for the early morning kickball game before the bell rang for morning meeting.     My dad makes me drive. I only got my license last year whereas my older siblings have had theirs for quite some time. I think he trusts me a bit more than them. Well, he also broke his back in a horseback riding accident. You remember as a kid being enamored by movies like Pirates of the Caribbean or Angelina Ballerina. Yall ever start wearing bandanas or tutus because it would’ve been really cool to be a pirate? Well, I think my dad got a little bit too attached to John Wayne’s character which manifested into what is his undying middle life crisis of the lone cowboy. And for the record, this wasn’t the first accident, or the second, or third. Hate to be insensitive but the guy has got to give it a rest.     We drove to Scratch bakery where we ate bagels and drank coffee. Then we ran our routine errands; Home Depot, the dump, and his job sites. The entire time my dad gave us a vocal highlight reel and anecdotal narration of the drive. He does this every single time. We passed the local high school where my siblings and father all graduated. “The South Portland Penitentiary,” my dad yells out. My brother and I laugh in unison. Not because my dad is any sort of funny but because there’s a mutual understanding within our household that high school just sucked.     We loop around a neighborhood where my dad has been revamping old single-family homes. I stop in front of a 1200 square foot bungalow sitting atop a newly seeded yard and a meticulously oriented walkway urging us inside. The house is fixed with dark blue shingles and a pastel yellow entrance. Simple and traditional yet rustic and patented with my dad’s creative touch.     We passed the Christmas tree farm where we annually fight over who gets to pick out the Christmas tree because we always forget who did it the year before. Passing all the beautiful trees and untamed forests I remembered snip-it’s of our most lively years.     We cruised through our favorite beachfront to watch the waves batter the rocky shores of the East Coast. Beyond the breathtaking dreaminess of the vast ocean was the number of my fellow townees out and about. Dogs fetching balls and kids escaping grasps of their worrisome parents. The beach was packed as if it were ninety degrees on the Fourth of July. They were all smiling. As we paralleled the beach from my dad’s truck, I even waved from the window to all the dog walkers and parents trying to wrangle their kids, I felt like a damn star.     I circled back past the beach market and the inn and we pointed out all our favorite houses. Of course, the blissfulness of the drive was cut short when Jack, my brother, wouldn’t stop whining about being hungry. It was okay though; I think we all secretly had to go to the bathroom so no one complained. Coffee is a risky symptom of boredom.     Upon circling back, my dad told me to pull into the farm. “You guys want to see the scene of the accident?” He refers to his cowboy antics. So, we drove down the winding back roads while my dad gave us an ESPN play-by-play of the event, successfully making us pee our pants laughing at his own demise. But that’s our humor.     We stopped at the Italian market for sandwiches before returning to our bunker. Casey, my oldest sister, had to call in the order because she had the slowest reflex in the “nose game”. I grabbed 5 sandwiches, Cool Ranch Doritos, and a dumb amount of 20 oz. Red Bulls. I caught up with the family, cheffing it up in the back while Jack caught up with his buddy from high school. They asked how my dad was to which I responded with the usual sarcasm that infamously characterizes my family. They laughed and told me to give my father their best. Before walking out we ran into one of our old middle school teachers. She barely recognized us. Peering over her sunglasses trying to make out the 6’’7’ guy towering over my 5’’9’ self, she asks with bewilderment: “Is that Jack?” He’s tall we get it. She told us that her son was in good health and had started a family in Washington state. She introduced us to her husband, Larry. I didn’t even know she had a husband. I’m glad she has him. We exchange our regrets for the unfortunate circumstances and wished each other the best. She was stoked to have run into her old students. It probably feels cool knowing you made an imprint on another child’s life.  And we drove the little ways back to choke down sandwiches and slug more caffeine.     Our town isn’t dead. Our town isn’t asleep. We are alive. We hound our kids to come walk the dog with us. The roaring thrusts of the offshore winds don’t stop us. We storm the beaches to go surf. Suiting up in full winter wet suits to get kissed around by 2-inch waves like a little kid wading in a tide pool. We are still enthused. We happen to run into our sixth-grade science teacher. We reconnect and gush over the “good old days”. But we know the days are still good. We talk and chat and drink way too much coffee for, at the moment, no good or healthy reason at all. Perhaps we are sinning a tad bit too much (but then again, I may be speaking for myself; I’m an advocate for embracing indulgence). We tell our homies we miss them and send them old pictures from when you were a “4” with acne. But we love ourselves and each other anyway. We tell our family we love them. Because we do even if we aren’t around all the time. We smile and wave. And the days are still good.
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13. I'm on a dolphin...doin' flips and shit...the dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch?
Real Housewives. Oh, and any *cringe* sports commentary show. A guy in tight spandex pants threw the ball to another guy in spandex…get over it already, ESPN.
How many times have you been in love?
This is complicated, because I don’t know if I'd even count the previous claims of being in love any longer. I may have only loved some idea or construct associated with past “loves.”
Go camping or go to a party?
Kind of interchangeable concepts. Camping can sometimes be a party. And partying can sometimes be camping if your drunk ass passes out in the middle of your homie's lawn holding a partially consumed tallboy. That was a long winded way of saying I like both parties and camping excursions.
Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing?
I said “damn” when I was 8 and remember asking my mom if that meant I’d go to “hell.” If you couldn’t tell from my survey responses, I am have zero qualms with cuss words.
What word does your name rhyme with?
Jaye rhymes with a lot of words. Don’t make me copy and paste from the rhyming dictionary.
How many years older than you would you date someone?
I never had any weird restrictions regarding age, but I keep it in the realm of neither statutory nor senior citizen.
What was the last thing you pinky swore on?
No idea. I’m 30. The adult world requires more credible promises, I guess.
Would you consider yourself a nice person?
I’m very unlikely to be a dick to you. Doesn’t automatically make me nice, I think it’s more out of my aversion to possible confrontation.
Are you a car kind of fella?
Fella? When were any of you going to tell me I’m a fella now? I’ve been using the women’s bathroom this whole time.
Are there a lot of mirrors in your house?
Not really.
Who’s the laziest person you know?
I’m gonna go ahead and throw my own name in that Goblet of Fire on this one.
Has there ever been a serial killer in your house?
Jeffery Dahmer comes over for bi-weekly Scattegories tournaments
Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler?
I don’t, sorry.
True or false: Glee is annoying.
Never watched it. Seems like it could have some annoying qualities, though.
A city that’s known for being worn down in your country?
Detroit? I don’t know, never been, but people say it blows. I have driven through Memphis once or twice and can vouch that it’s a bit sketchy.
Last thing you cooked?
I don’t cook. I ate a can of condensed soup, cold, directly out of it’s can.
Do you use slang often?
Probably more than I intend to.
Wear glasses?
Yes, when not wearing my contacts
Is your Bzoink profile picture a picture of you?
No Bzoink. My tumblr avatar is really me though #NotaCatfish
About how old was the last person that hit on you?
My own boyfriend lol.
Movie you want to see?
Nothing extremely urgently. I stream them all free anyway so there’s no rush
What color are your headphones?
Dark sky blue and black.
Would you make a good teacher? Why?
Yes, because I’m somewhat proficient presenting (actual, relevant) information in engaging ways. & No, because I would definitely get fired for unconventional teaching style and general disregard for the system.
Don’t you hate those commercials that try too hard?
ACE Hardware had this annoying, overly wholesome Christmas commercial where this young boy asks an overly wholesome associate what to buy his dad. The associate is like 'definitely this motherfucking yeti thermos'… and the boy is so excited to give his dad the stupid thing on Christmas morning. His dad opens it and is like ‘omg best day ever!’ Pleasant holiday music likely commences… blah, blah. Point is, just as many people would’ve purchased one if the ad showed a voluptuous naked lady eating some Beef Barley soup out of the thermos.
Is the fan on?
No, it’s cold here.
Any special reason why you’re taking this survey?
There’s never any special reason. I genuinely enjoy these having these useless dialogues with myself.
Do you believe in abortion?
It exists and it’s completely and entirely your choice. I neither run around burning down planned parenthoods nor approach hoards of pregnant women and suggest they all go get abortions immediately.
What does the last text message you sent say?
My mom saying goodnight to me.
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foxygrandpa14 · 4 years
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Rodman: For Better or Worse
Before the stay-at-home order dropped down, I signed up for an ESPN+ subscription. 
GREAT decision. I don’t really care about the live sports and all that, since we have cable in this joint, but I really wanted it for the 30 for 30 library being available to stream. 
Plus! It’s only $4.99 a month! For now! I’ll take it! I’ll take anything in this time of indoorsyness!
If you haven’t seen any of the 30 for 30s, I recommend doing so. Even if you don’t like sports – which the documentaries are very much about – they always manage to go beyond the basic, already-known storylines of each of the events and figures that are profiled and into how sports manage to intersect with race, society, pop culture, current events, and life after sports among other things. 
“Rodman: For Better or Worse” is a very engaging breakdown of who Dennis Rodman is and why Dennis Rodman is the way he is, and how those things shaped the way the culture has viewed him for the past 30 or so years. 
My earliest experience with Rodman was watching him play with Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and the rest of the Chicago Bulls during their second three-peat championship run from 1995 - 1998. 
The fam and I were very much invested in watching and rooting for the Bulls back in the day, with the exception for my grandmother who would always cheer for Karl Malone and the Utah Jazz???? 
Who likes Karl Malone? Karl Malone’s family hates him because he is Karl Malone and NOBODY likes him. Anyway. 
The documentary does a great job of weaving together Rodman’s own personal testimony with those of his former teammates (like his Detroit Pistons pal Isiah Thomas and Jordan), his family, his “adoptive” family, and others.
It dives into all of the controversy and interest surrounding his eccentric and flamboyant lifestyle, the origin of his colorful hair (It was inspired by Wesley Snipes in “Demolition Man,” which is an INCREDIBLE tidbit of information), his depression and suicide contemplations, leading up to how that all lead to his life today all of these years after the NBA. 
It’s a good appetizer for the Chicago Bulls 30 for 30 that’s supposed to drop in the next year. My thing is, if they know we’re going to be holed up inside until further notice, why not lift our spirits by dropping that thang a little early, ESPN? 
Help a homie out. 
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fortyfive-forty · 4 months
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iga down a break and i cant even anxiously watch and shit bricks because espn is the worst sports channel on the planet
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hutcho33-blog · 6 years
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Kendrick V Everybody: A Beginner’s Guide To Kendrick Lamar’s Beefs
Kendrick Lamar has been the centre of the Hip Hop scene over the last few months. The dropping of singles ‘The Heart Part IV’ and Humble as preludes to the acclaimed ‘DAMN.’ have made him the source of intrigue and controversy. One of the undeniable things about K Dot is that he is a relentless competitor.
August 13th, 2013. The fabled ‘Control’ verse where Kung Fu Kenny takes swings at literally all of his competition has been the starting point for a majority of his beefs now. This unapologetically aggressive style has rubbed some the very wrong way, and it’s clear Kendrick doesn’t really give a Damn.
With that in mind, the following is a beginners guide to all of the beefs involving Kendrick Lamar right now.
Big Sean
Whenever you talk about beefs and Kendrick, one should start with Sean, not the man reppin OVO. It was in fact Big Sean’s song ‘Control’ that caused much of the tension with other rappers. Kendrick’s verse went at everyone including Sean himself. Although Sean said that this didn’t really bother him, this is the only discernable starting point of a frustration Sean could have with Kendrick. It should also be noted that ‘Control’ itself wasn’t featured on Seans album Hall of Fame, despite being the most noteworthy track at the time.
He started dropping subs directed at Kendrick in a freestyle titled ‘Me, Myself and I’ in 2015
Rappers who was killin shit, lately I can’t feel that shit
Y’all used to didn’t feel my shit and now y’all like, “You hear this shit?”
He had even more subs for Kung Fu Kenny on ‘No More Interviews’ in 2016.
And I can’t lie like I like this shit like I usually do
And I’m just not impressed by you niggas rapping fast
Who sound like one big asthma attack but trash when I’m rapping it back
Who you put in your top five and claim they the savior of rap
This all leads to the current day, with Kendrick firing more direct shots at Big Sean. On ‘The Heart Part IV’ Kendrick is rumoured to have taken a whole verse to address Sean directly.
My fans can’t wait for me to son your punk ass and crush your whole lil shit
I’ll Big Pun your punk ass you a scared lil bitch
Tip-toeing around my name nigga you lame
And when I get at you homie don’t you just tell me you was just playin
‘I was just playing K-Dot, c’mon you know a nigga rock with you, bro’
Shut the fuck up you sound like the last nigga I know
Might end up like the last nigga I know
Oh you don’t want to clash? Yeah nigga I know
On ‘Humble’, he constantly uses hooks notably used by Sean (‘lil bitch’ and ‘hol up’), as well as the direct shot that central idea of the track being in direct conflict with Sean saying his ‘humble attitudes’ in ‘No Favours’. Kendrick is directly telling Sean to sit down and be humble.
We likely haven’t seen even close to the end of this rivalry.
Drake
This is the modern day Cold War of Hip Hop. Both men have cautiously stepped around each other, taking some subs but not engaging in direct nuclear warfare. This begins in 2013 with Drake saying on ‘The Language’
I don’t know why they been lyin’
But your shit is not that inspirin
Enter Kendrick, with a small but not insignificant barb at Drizzy on ‘TDE Cypher’.
Yeah, and nothing’s been the same since they dropped “Control”
And tucked a sensitive rapper back in his pajama clothes
Kendrick would deny that this is a shot at Drake, however the next two are shots at Drake, first on the universally acclaimed ‘King Kunta’ taking aim at ghost writer rappers.
I can dig rappin’
But a rapper with a ghost writer? What the fuck happened?
Then he goes in twice on Dr Dre’s album ‘Compton’. First on ‘Darkside/Gone’, where he steals one of Drake’s most famous hooks in the diss itself.
But still I got enemies giving me energy, I don’t wanna fight now
Subliminally sent to me all of this hate, I thought I was holding the mic down
Then again in ‘Deep Water’
They liable to bury him, they nominated six to carry him
They worry him to death, but he’s no vegetarian
The beef is on his breath, inheriting the drama better than
A great white, nigga this is life in my aquarium
Now from here the tension becomes a little bit more unfounded. Watch the video below where Marcellus Wiley of ESPN talks about a destroyed interview on his program ‘SportsNation’
WHAT! If this is referring to Kendrick and Drake (which is the heavy favourite in terms of who he is talking about), one could only imagine the residual tension between the two most popular artists in the game. There are a number of things that can be seen as subs at Drake from Kenny on ‘Damn.’, but nothing that provides a significant insight into the real animosity between the two.
This is the cold war that has the potential to get very very hot in the next couple of years as the two artists battle at the top of the charts for supremacy.
Billboard.com and Being Outside of the Top 5 Rappers of All Time
Kendrick has an obsession with being the greatest rapper of all time. It’s consistently seen throughout his music. However when Billboard ranked their top ten rappers of all time, they rated him ninth (It should be noted that this atrocity of a list left off Tupac Shakur, which is at least puzzling and at most criminal).
It’s been two years since the list was released and it’s fair to say he hasn’t back off his opinion that he is the GOAT. From his tweet reading simply ‘Mr 1-5’, to this lyric on ‘ELEMENT’.
Mr. One through Five, that’s the only logic
Fake my death, go to Cuba, that’s the only option
Kendrick is incredibly open about his greatness and he’s actively suggesting that he is not just the greatest rapper alive, but in fact good enough that he could occupy all the spots from 1 to 5 on any list of the greatest rappers ever.
Donald Trump and Fox News
It would be an understatement to say that Kendrick Lamar dislikes Fox News and Donald Trump. Mr Duckworth has been one of the most socially conscious and influential artists in the last half decade. He’s made provocative comments on all kinds of issues like alcohol abuse on ‘Swimming Pools (Drank)’, police brutality on ‘Alright’ and on Black America in a insightful acapella verse on ‘i’.
However in more recent times, Kendrick has been taking more direct shots at individual’s he feel are doing wrong by his community. First at the new President of the United States Donald Trump in ‘The Heart Part IV’.
Donald Trump is a chump
Know how we feel, punk? Tell ’em that God comin’
And Russia need a replay button, y’all up to somethin’
Electoral votes look like memorial votes
But America’s truth ain’t ignorin’ the votes
The level of criticism that Kendrick has had of the police and of certain aspects of American society put him in the crosshairs of notorious conservative American media outlet Fox News. One of the most blatant shots that Kendrick takes is at Fox News, even using part of this segment on the network at the end of the track ‘BLOOD’.
He also takes a more direct shot at analyst Geraldo Rivera (who said that hip hop does more damage to young African Americans than racism in the above video) in the track ‘YAH’.
Fox News wanna use my name for percentage
Somebody tell Geraldo this nigga got ambition.”
Geraldo has since doubled down on his comments that Kendrick is destructive for the culture, which suggests that Kendrick may have more ammunition to use in future disses directed at the Fox News personality.
***
After ‘DAMN.’, it’s hard to make an argument that Kendrick Lamar isn’t one of the greatest hip hop acts in the history of the game. His lyricism and flow is unquestionable, with the hard hitting messages behind every song setting him apart from other rappers.
However it is also his attitude that sets him apart. In a time where everyone is perceived to be too friendly in their competition both in relation to hip hop and sports, Kung Fu Kenny isn’t trying to make any friends.
Kendrick is out take the throne and make everyone else a mere distant memory.
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3/24/17
another day another video.
ya’boy on like donkey kong. 
that’s really awkward to read since there’s no eye-rhyme and you gotta just twist your words a bit when you say it out loud. 
this morning was pretty wasted and that sucks cause i kinda hate wasting any time at all, but i wasn't that opposed while i was just sitting around so i guess it couldn't have been all that bad. 
my mom bought my dad a treadmill for a lil home gym he’s trying to make. he says he’s gonna build something outside but i hope outside doesn't eventually turn into “mark’s room,” but at the same time I guess my room probably won't be my room for much longer? wait no, my parents are definitely the type of parents to completely keep our rooms in tact even once we’re completely moved out and grown ups and have our own homes and stuff. the only question is whether my giant pikachu will stay here or come with me. (probably come with me). 
where was i?
oh duh yeah so pops’ new treadmill got dropped off this morning and it’s heavy as fuck and i kinda had to drag it inside by myself cause no one was home and it was a struggle forrealsies.
i listened to hecka tunes.
i watched outside the lines. fuck outside the lines. that’s like the worst espn show known to man and like rightfully so, it’s on in the middle of the day while everyone’s at work and school and stuff, but since i’m not at those things, i get to watch the lamest, most boring sports show known to man. 
i did a lil bit of online shopping that i really shouldn't have done. tbh this has become an actual issue. like the amount of retail therapy i’ve done in the past few months is not something i’m proud of. and like it’s not like i think to myself... boo hoo, i’m sad, i’m gonna buy stuff to feel happy again. like nah. that’s like 12 y/o retail therapy. but i think there’s definitely a link between being left and buying clothes in an attempt to look better and feel better about ones appearance. like i dont actively attempt to do it, but I'm pretty certain there’s a subconscious cause going on there.
then kyle tried to get me to hang out, but everything in my brain and my body was just like nah bro, just stay in and do nothing and waste away all night. which is bad bad bad bad bad v bad. 
buuuut then mom and joey brought home zabas. and we all sat in the living room and watched the mexico game and ate zabas. yaaaaay. love zabas. like the potato option is a realllll game changer fam. 
wait but yes mexico won decently comfortably. i think that game ended 2-0?
the only reason i’m not completely certain is because the us game started and we switched over to that. 6. 6-0. like fucking hell. errr, hecking heck? is that a viable substitute? anyways, yes wow 6-0. Pulisic was easily the best player on the field. the talent that kid possesses is insane considering he’s 18 years old. absolutely crazy. every time he touched the ball it seemed like he was gonna find a way to work the ball through the defense. mad ting eh. but yes was hecka ecstatic about that result especially considering that was low key a must win for the us. 
then logan hit me up and told me they were gonna come through so i invited kyle and all the homies came over and we all played gang beasts aka the most fun party game known to man, right next to jackbox games. we pretty much killed like 3 hours playing gang beasts and that was our night. now everyone’s gone and rocky’s in rock mode (not moving (ya’know like a rock)). is it valid to use parenthesis in parenthesis? i legitimately do not remember. like mathematically i defs always try to use outer brackets and inner parenthesis, but idk about like the english language and stuff. i remember jae in ms callicoats class would always use helllllllllla parenthesis and we would roast on this dudes blogs so hard. tbh we roasted on like everyone’s blogs. we were mean. wait nah not we. mainly me. it’s okay though, ms callicoat thought i was adorable and clever af. okay fine i’m kinda imagining the adorable part cause everyone else thinks that, but the clever part is confirmed. 
uhhhhhhh
fuck i definitely had something planned for final thoughts tonight, but that tangent about angelique totally made me forget where i was gonna go with this. 
yeah idk i legit can't remember. 
sorry fam
final thoughts: seamus coleman broke his leg today, it was pretty gruesome considering he kicked the other guy, leg broke, and then his body’s momentum continued causing this leg to flop around in the air for another 10 seconds making it quite clear to everyone watching that uh yup legs dont usually bend at the shin. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Ie2Acy34s
wait in continuation of that, this was from 2014, but today i also watched this crazy clip of this english rugby dude just fucking clock another due in the face, twice. like the initial punch was bad enough, but then the dude’s basically dead on the ground and this buff as motherfucker just gets on top of him, cocks his arm back and just makes direct, full force contact with the dudes face. crazy shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eie7maojvr0
he was probably mad that they gave him such little shorts.
do fun things/[(please do not break your legs or your face)]/stay beautiful
-mark zabasthony martinez
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