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adracat · 9 months

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Notrette: The Mother of Abominations, Queen of Heaven and Space

"This is the Mystery of Babylon, the Mother of Abominations, and this is the mystery of her adulteries, for she hath yielded up herself to everything that liveth, and hath become a partaker in its mystery. And because she hath made her self the servant of each, therefore is she become the mistress of all. Not as yet canst thou comprehend her glory.

Beautiful art thou, O Babylon, and desirable, for thou hast given thyself to everything that liveth, and thy weakness hath subdued their strength. For in that union thou didst understand. Therefore art thou called Understanding, O Babylon, Lady of the Night!" — The Vision and the Voice (12th Aethyr)

Thelema is an esoteric and occult philosophy founded by Aleister Crowley. That name may be familiar to those who've read any of my gwitch hermeticism posts. Thelema draws heavily from ancient mythology, among Greek/Egyptian in particular, and the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Alchemy, astrology, and geomancy are among the crafts they practiced. Thelema asserts following one's True Will is the path to self-realization and fulfillment, gaining the Great Work or Magnum Opus. See my posts here for more on this.

Babalon is the Great Mother. She is Nott and Nuit; the Night. She is the Whore of Babylon that reins the Beast of Revelation. She is the Bride of Chaos, the primal light of the soul and where life began. She is Mother Earth, Gaia, in her most fertile sense. She is Lilith (etymology-'female night being/demon') the fell consort to Samael. Notrette is indicated by her name, derived from Nott the Norse personification of Night, and taken epithet Anesidora (Demeter, Pandora, and Gaia) to be Babalon.

And I believe in one Earth, the Mother of us all, and in one Womb wherein all men are begotten, and wherein they shall rest, Mystery of Mystery, in Her name BABALON— Gnostic creed

We never see her in the show, save one image. What is there speaks plenty to her place as this occult figure. And perhaps her link to Prospera most of all.

Bride of Samael

Prospera is unmistakably the Great Deciever. Her name before Vanadis' fall was Elnora, which means Shining One. The same as Lucifer, the morning star. It matches the name of Dellingr, Nott's husband in norse myth. However, Delling is a red herring and perhaps the slight change in name is intentional. Prospera is the true Satan, who fell from grace and now rebels against God. Considering Dominicus and Delling are both coded with divine authority, this seems to be the point. If Notrette is Anesidora, then Prospera is Phosphoros. In my Prospera analysis, I noted she's bedecked in Hecate symbolism. One of Hecate's epithets is Phosphoros, light-bringer, signifying Hecate, Diana, and Eos/Aurora; goddess of the dawn. Another parallel with Nott's mythic husband. Phosphoros/EOSphoros is the greek name of the morning star. Perseis, another Hecate epithet is synonymous with Perdition. The name Satan took after falling. She has also cast aside her original shining name to be Prospera

The planet Venus is historically 'morning star', one of the wandering stars in astrology, and Elnora is similarly coded with Venus parallel. Consider the sign Pisces, which is Venus and her son Eros fleeing to safety. (The Prologue events) The events of episode 17 onward easily fit Venus' role in the story of Eros and Psyche.

Crowley asserts Babalon and the biblical Scarlet Woman are separate and the latter enacts the will of the former. Prospera wreaking her havoc on Earth and Space is certainly fitting with Aerial as the Beast of Revelation.

So how does this relate to Notrette? Because she is the Bride of Samael/Satan, Lilith, who rebelled against Adam and was banished from the Garden of Eden. As Babalon/Babylon, she is the mother of harlots and revels in adultery. We already know Quiet Zero was her project. She is a gifted geneticist and the only person explicitly fiddling with biometric code... The Mother of Abominations can easily apply to Aerial and replichildren. Something we already suspected, but seems confirmed. She is indeed the Angrboda to Prospera's Loki. After all, in the Tempest Caliban is the child of the Devil and a witch.

Consider fell Lilith, the first wife of man who was formed from the same clay as Adam and unleashed horrors upon humanity. This tale mirrors Pandora, another Anesidora. The first woman in Greek mythology molded by clay who unleashes horrors from her jar. Mothers of Abominations both. Some occultists view Lilith as a former agricultural and fertility goddess like Demeter. Anesidora is Satan's bride, Lilith.

Potnia (Mistress), an epithet of Demeter, can also be taken as indicative of the great Idolatress

Queen Nuit

The highest deity of Thelema is Nuit. She is the naked Great Mother dressed in the stars. She is infinite space and infinite possibilities. They name her Our Lady of the Stars, Queen of Space and Queen of Heaven. Greek Nyx, Norse Nott, and Egyptian Nut are all her names. Her consort is Hadit, the embodiment of causality; '"the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star." And causality is the method to which Prospera works her curses upon the cast.

Notrette is metaphorically a queen before her death. Married to psuedo king Delling, she is the G-Witch Queen of Heaven and Space. Her name hard placing her as Nott just drives the point home.

Daughter of Babalon

But casting aside speculation, well-founded as it is imo, let's take a look at her canonical child; Miorine. Thelema also speaks of her and cements Notrette's true identity.

And this palace is nothing but the body of a woman, proud and delicate, and beyond imagination fair. She is like a child of twelve years old. She has very deep eyelids, and long lashes. Her eyes are closed, or nearly closed. It is impossible to say anything about her. She is naked; her whole body is covered with fine gold hairs, that are the electric flames which are the spears of mighty and terrible Angels whose breastplates are the scales of her skin. And the hair of her head, that flows down to her feet, is the very light of God himself. Of all the glories beheld by the Seer in the Aethyrs, there is not one which is worthy to be compared with her littlest finger-nail. For although he may not partake of the Aethyr, without the ceremonial preparations, even the beholding of this Aethyr from afar is like the par taking of all the former Aethyrs.

The Seer is lost in wonder, which is Peace.

And the ring of the horizon above her is a company of glorious Archangels with joined hands, that stand and sing: This is the daughter of BABALON the Beautiful, that she hath borne unto the Father of All. And unto all hath she borne her.

This is the Daughter of the King. This is the Virgin of Eternity. This is she that the Holy One hath wrested from the Giant Time, and the prize of them that have overcome Space. This is she that is set upon the Throne of Understanding. Holy, Holy, Holy is her name, not to be spoken among men. For Kore they have called her, and Malkah, and Betulah, and Persephone.— The Book of Thoth, Aleister Crowley

In the show she is given Kore/Persephone symbolism as explored in my Miorine analysis. As the daughter of a Demeter it felt fitting, but it's now doubly significant. The Hebrew words Malkah and Betulah mean 'Queen' and 'Virgin' respectively.

With this wealth of context, I can't help but wish Notrette made a full appearance. Yet I understand both production meddling and perhaps symbolic intent may have led to her remaining unseen. Babalon is Mystery. And her glory cannot be comprehended.

#Mio your mom was a scary lady #And probably screwing Devil mommy #You have bitten into the fruit of forbidden knowledge #Notrette's tomatoes #g witch #g witch spoilers #gundam witch from mercury #notrette rembran #prospera mercury #miorine rembran #analysis and speculation

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yuurei20 · 2 years

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Crowley Fact Sheet

(Did not rank in a combination of seven different character-ranking surveys held throughout 2021)

Name: Dire Crowley Role: Headmaster Age: unknown Height: 185cm (taller than Vil/Idia/Crewel, same height as Leona, shorter than Sebek) Homeland: Unknown Hobby: Traveling Favorite food: Wild game meat

According to the official fanbook Crowley’s first name, Dire, has been retconned to be pronounced as “Dia” in order to be closer to “Diablo”, the name of Maleficient’s bird in the original Sleeping Beauty movie. I also came across a fan theory that the name “Crowley”, might be both a reference to Diablo and to early 20th century English occultist, magician, poet and painter Aleister Crowley, but this is unconfirmed.

Crowley hires the player to fill the role of “beast master” and keep Grim in check after being impressed by the player’s ability to goad Ace, Deuce and Grim into working together to take out a monster in the prologue of the game. In return, the player is permitted to live in the abandoned “Ramshackle” dormitory on campus.

While Crowley insists that he is still searching for a way to send the player back to the world from whence they came (claiming that it is all he thinks about when he sleeps and eats), it is difficult to tell how much effort he is actually putting towards this goal.

Crowley has explained that he likes shiny objects like gems and precious metals, and thus the mirrors that he carries about on his person.

In other voice lines he says that he wipes down the frames of the portraits of the Great Seven in his office everyday, watches Spelldrive tournaments on television late at night and that he does not like spicy food.

He has also said that, “To create whatever magic you wish to produce, you need imagination. Some mages say that they practice drawing and writing in order to strengthen their ability to make their imaginations more concrete”.

Crowley often meets with Trein for tea, but has said that Lucius makes him uncomfortable and he is not very good with cats. Despite this apparent camaraderie with Trein, he was once ten seconds late to a meeting and Trein lectured him for ten minutes as punishment.

He says that while he greets every student he sees every morning, sometimes they ignore him, but he doesn’t mind as it is part of being an adult.

He often leaves difficult situations and problems up to the school’s students to handle rather than facing them himself, claiming that it is to cultivate their independence; the students, by and large, do not trust him as a result.

Crewel describes Crowley as being very busy and always hurrying off to deal with one issue or another, but it is unclear what he is actually up to most of the time. It is commented during the Halloween event that he seems to have secrets that he would prefer the police not know about.

He seems to have a soft-spot for money, receiving a portion of Azul’s profits from Mostro Lounge and—according to Jamil—arranging for Kalim’s belated enrollment in the school in exchange for large monetary donations from Kalim’s father.

On the other hand, in the Port Fest event half of the profits earned by the student food stalls are donated to Crane Port, and Crowley arranges for the remaining half to be divided amongst the students themselves (at Azul’s request).

Crowley's voice actor Miyamoto has been voice acting since before many of us were born. He was inspired by a favorite TV show to become a teacher, but failed to acquire a teaching license.

In a 2014 interview he said, ‘I would love to play a villain or eccentric role that is far removed from myself, like Tim Curry in "The Rocky Horror Show’.”

He is the voice of adult Simba in the Japanese-language-dub of Disney's The Lion King, the voice of Soma Ayame in the original release of Fruits Basket, Roger Smith in The Big O, Hubb Lebowski in WOLF'S RAIN, Jean Croce in GUNSLINGER GIRL, Maiza Avaro in BACCANO! and other characters in over 170 other anime series, OVAs and video games.

Additional Fact Sheets ・Riddle Rosehearts ・Trey Clover・Cater Diamond ・Ace Trappola・Deuce Spade ・Leona Kingscholar ・Ruggie Bucchi ・Jack Howl ・Azul Ashengrotto・Floyd Leech・Jade Leech ・Kalim Al-Asim・Jamil Viper ・Vil Schoenheit・Rook Hunt ・Epel Felmier ・Idia Shroud・Ortho Shroud ・Malleus Draconia ・Silver・Sebek Zigvolt・Lilia Vanrouge ・Sam・Crewel・Trein・Vargas・Crowley

#twstcharactersheet #Dire Crowley #twisted wonderland #ツイステ #twst

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heckcareoxytwit · 4 months

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Bats the Ghost Hound is feeling the strange presence in the Sanctum Sanctorum. At first the magic snakes (Aleister and Anton) did not believe him until one of them feels that something is wrong too. The three magic animals try to warn Doctor Strange (Stephen Strange) and Clea about the suspicious activity but they are dismissed as they were too skeptical about it. The next night, the three magic animals - Bats, Aleister and Anton investigate again and this time, they came across a magic mirror in the room. Then, they are ambushed by a ghost who turned out to be Victor Strange, the evil brother of Stephen Strange. Victor Strange traps the three animals into the magic mirror to silence them. On the next morning, Doctor Strange wakes up to find that Bats and the snakes are missing. Doctor Strange is unaware that poor Bats and the snakes are trapped in the magic mirror.

Doctor Strange v6 #12, 2024

#wednesday spoilers #Bats the ghost dog #Bats #bats the dog #bats the ghost hound #Clea #Clea Strange #Doctor Strange #Dr Strange #Stephen Strange #Aleister the snake #Anton the snake #Victor Strange #marvel

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nikkeisimmer · 2 months

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The End of Days

Prologue:

I grew up during the Cold War, when everything seemed very tenuous. For many years, right up until the fall of the Berlin Wall, I had vivid nightmares of nuclear apocalypse. ~ Justin Cronin ...for a little town in Canada, where we grew up didn’t have much in the way of sophistication. We had a school, we had a main street in our down town, a couple of shopping centers and we had two main high-schools that were rivals to each other. We got up in the morning, went to school, and came home in the afternoon, ate dinner, did our homework and went to bed. Yet like the big cities in the United States, we did nuclear “take cover” drills. As if hiding under a desk was going to help us when the big one went off just down in Vancouver. At the time, warheads on ICBMs were at least a megaton in yield. One dropping on Maple Ridge Municipal Airport would have annihilated the entire town and left it a scorched ruin. ~ Haruo Chikamori

***************************************

River’s viewpoint

It started out like any other day. It was June, school was out, the weather was warm and sunny and Haruo and I had graduated high-school. We were young adults preparing, at last, to take on the world; to make something of ourselves. Eventually, Haruo and I would have jobs and be making money enough to get married and then well, to have kids. To start a family of our own. At least that was the plan. We had just put down §14,700 on a lot of our own, after combining the savings that both Haruo and I had. Of course, we loved the lot and the fact that our intention was to improve upon it as our finances grew. We had nothing but a tent that we laid down; my only source of entertainment came from an easel that we managed to pick up. I loved painting and Haruo wanted nothing more than to make me happy. While he toiled and laboured at making a garden for us and eventually making it so that we were self-sustaining, I got to paint to my heart’s content. There were no signs that we were aware of that the plans we had would come to an abrupt end, however looking back on things now twenty years later, we had hints that we’d missed along the way. Not ominous ones that would instantaneously let us know that we were all living on borrowed time, but ones that proved to be significant when you added them all up together.

Like the meteor that Phil found in Central Park. To us it was a fortuitous event as it brought us a decent chunk of change. But to us that was all it was. Just a chance event that was lucrative. Well, that chance event was more than just chance. It was portent of what was coming. As it was, many more meteors would be coming from the heavens.

We had all pitched in, the five of us to purchase the lot at 15 Summerhill Court which left us with approximately §42,455.00 simoleons.

While I picked up an easel and started painting, Bebe and Clarissa, Phil’s girlfriend, had gone down to Central Park to fish, while Phil had gone to pick up the remnants of the meteor that fell. Presumably Phil was going to Aleister’s to drop off the meteorites on consignment and we would see around five in the afternoon roughly how much we would get back for them. My boyfriend, Haruo, decided that he was going to go hunting for meat and gathering vegetables and fruits. Phil, however, did return before my boyfriend did so he set about creating an oven with stones that we could use to cook whatever Bebe and Clarissa managed to catch. And when my boyfriend did return he could clean and cook the fish up. Meanwhile, I was trying to get some paintings together so that I could sell them to the consignment store in hopes that would give us some money to build a shelter before winter came. For roughly about §150.00 we had a workable kitchen set-up. Bathing and eliminating waste though was another matter – the only option we had for bathing was to go down to the water’s edge and take a nice long dip in the water, washing our hair and body with a sponge. Eliminating involved digging a hole and using it to do our numbers one and two.

The morning cleared up and the clouds went away. And we were blessed with a nice sunny day. Unbeknownst to us we were being prepared for the end-times with a celebration of what idyllic life was. Little did we know it was going to be our last for the longest time. How was the world going to end? We didn’t know at the time. Nor would the revelation of just how it would end gave us any comfort.

#Sims 3 - The End of Days #Sims 3 Fanfiction #Haruo and River #River McIrish #Haruo Chikamori #Phil and Clarissa #Phil Burrows #Bebe Hart #sims 3 story #sims 3 screenshots #sims 3 gameplay #Sims 3 Apocalypse

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apollafire · 1 month

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Chapter One

Summary; Dr. Kate Harrison has her first day as a member of staff at Columbia. The work place she was provided with is less than stellar but the neighbors aren't so bad.

Warnings; swearing, Dean Yeager's an asshole but not present, Venkman being Venkman

Final Word Count; 1071

Columbia University 1980

“My baby sister, a doctor! And a professor! Ugh I can’t believe it.” The click of a camera shutter went off several more times, “Hold still for God sakes, I have to get one for Aunt Rose.”

“First of all, I’m not a professor. Yet.” Kate Harrison sighed deeply, “I’m a glorified lab assistant, and I will be until Dr. McNulty either finally decides to retire or ends up dying. Damn tenure.” She muttered looking down at her shoes, “Look, Irene, I really do appreciate the ride but if I knew you had planned on taking enough pictures to fill up a magazine I wouldn’t have accepted.”

“Oh so you could’ve sat on the subway with no one to talk to and get your fancy white coat all dirty? Not on my watch.” A few more camera clicks.

“Irene, you’re going to make me late. I have to finish setting up my office.” The woman turned away to start heading towards the front door of the building.

“Okay, okay. Just remember, dinner this Saturday at mine and John’s. I know you have nothing going on so you better be there.”

“No promises.”

The basement. Dean Yeager stuck her in the basement after promising her office would be right next door to Dr. McNulty for convenience for herself and students alike. There weren’t even any damn windows and grow lamps for her plants definitely were not provided like agreed upon at the end of last semester.

“That motherfucker.” She muttered as she pushed the door open and took in her new domain, at least all her boxes seemingly made it down here unscathed. After procuring a blank sheet of notebook paper and a black marker, she wrote DR. KATHERINE HARRISON - BIOCHEMISTRY & BOTANY in big capital letters. She taped that paper to the door and shut it behind her as she got to work unpacking, figuring it was highly unlikely she was to ever actually get her name permanently painted on the frosted glass. After getting her music to a level she liked and could block out the world for a while, she got started with the desk and the metal shelves behind it.

Unbeknownst to her, the sudden burst of music from the formerly empty room interrupted some “very important work” in the Paranormal Studies laboratory next door with which she shared a wall.

“The damn janitor must’ve brought a radio down for his smoke break.” Peter Venkman grumbled from under a magazine as he laid across an old beaten down couch, “Ray go kick him out again, will ya? I’m missing out on prime sleep time over here.”

Ray looked up from the book he was reading with a furrowed brow, looking from where Peter lazed over to Egon to see if he could force him to go do it this time. But the man was so deep into whatever mold sample he was looking at through the microscope that it would be a while before he came up for air. He sighed deeply and rolled his chair back a few feet before getting up and making his way out to the hallway. The less muffled sound of Ozzy Osbourne’s Mr. Crowley met his ears as he walked to the next door over, raising his fist to knock loudly. He stopped as he read the paper on the door that was not there when him and the guys got in that morning. Tilting his head in slight confusion, he reached out and gently just pushed the door open slowly.

“You know, Aleister Crowley was actually a very interesting man.” He called out after a moment of observation, seemingly startling the woman as she caught a book that had begun to fall from her hands.

“I do know, actually.” Kate spoke after regaining her composure, gesturing to the shelf that now housed all three volumes of the Collected Works of Aleister Crowley as she reached to the radio to turn it off, “I’m not a fan, but my grandparents may have been Thelemians back in the day. Real hush hush about it though.” She walked over to the stranger standing in the doorway, “I’m Kate Harrison. Sorry for the noise, I didn’t realize anyone else was banished to the basement.”

“Really? Oh wow that’s fascinating. I’m Dr. Ray Stantz.” They shared a friendly handshake and continued to speak, “My colleagues and I work next door in the Paranormal Studies lab. We thought you were Paul the janitor, he’s usually in here on his smoke breaks.”

“That explains the ash and butts everywhere, for a janitor he doesn’t really clean up after himself.” She looked down at the floor and kicked a few of the said cigarette butts aside, “Paranormal Studies you say? Sounds like a secret almost.”

“Nope, we are fully funded by the board.” Ray put his hands on his hips proudly, “You should come by and check it out! Maybe I can convince the guys to come and help you unpack so you’re stuck in here all day.”

“That sounds like a good plan. Lead the way Dr. Stantz.” She said with a smile before following the man down the hallway.

“Hey guys!” Ray grinned as he opened the door and stepped back into the lab, letting Kate come in behind him, “We have a new neighbor.” No movement or acknowledgement from either man made the woman look at Ray skeptically.

“Wow Ray, didn’t realize your colleagues were just mannequins that you positioned around the room.” She said playfully. Boom, that got their attention. The man on the couch shot up with such a speed he almost fell to the floor as he made his way over, hand outstretched and what he probably thought was an award winning smile stretched across his face.

“Pete Venkman, pleasure to meet you.” He said, shaking her hand, “Egon, get over here, Ray actually brought home a woman to meet us for once.”

“You lay it on pretty thick, don’tcha Dr. Venkman.” She responded with a small laugh. Her gaze fell to the man standing up from looking into a microscope, watching him pick up a pair of glasses and slip them on before turning in her direction.

“I’m Dr. Egon Spengler.” Just with that sentence, Kate could listen to him talk all day, “It’s a pleasure, like Venkman said.”

“Dr. Kate Harrison, and the pleasure’s all mine.” She smiled brightly.

#ghostbusters #ghostbusters oc #egon spengler #egon spengler x oc #katherine harrison #apollafire #dearly departed #fanfic

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bloodsalted · 2 months

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— FIVE SONGS. FIVE QUOTES. | b.j.h edition. (tagged by @fireheld)

“i slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; i drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning.” ― aleister crowley

“on some nights i still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.” ― hunter s. thompson

“if death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character... would you slow down? or speed up?” ― chuck palahniuk

"the place where you made your stand never mattered. only that you were there... and still on your feet." ― stephen king

“you get what anybody gets - you get a lifetime.” ― neil gaiman

"keep grinding. no matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard it gets, you got to keep grinding. and that's how we're gonna win." ― dean winchester

tagging: @ofcrossrcads , @drkroots , @crookedredemption , @fearinfected , @aintashes , @misfitpuzzlepieces (your pick!) , @walkeddeath , @talentforlying , @rebuiltmyself , @loyaltylanced && anyone else who'd like! tag me so i can read!

#dean insp; musings #dean insp; headcanon #oof.#ty for the tag again!

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marmolady · 3 months

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Never Had A Friend Like Me: Part One

Hey, @mauvecatfic... some Diego for you!

Summary: Endless Ending timeline. Elderly Diego and Taylor reflect on a lifelong friendship. Part one of two.

Word Count: 3741

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @mauvecatfic @rhemenway888

Thanks for reading!

__________________________

La Huerta, 2090

“Hey--” Taylor said as she settled down amongst the soft cushions of her favourite chair, knowing full well she’d be needing to call in assistance when the time came to haul her old body up from them, “I came up with the perfect idea for our next marathon.”

“’Marathon’? Between the two of us, we’re lucky to get through one movie without someone dozing off.” Diego grinned at his friend. His best friend of seventy years.

“That’s what makes it a marathon, because it takes so damn long. We take our time, savouring the laughs, the tears, and appreciating the artform.” A glass of wine, some cheeses, to break it up. And the two of them would reminisce, and Diego would point out his favourites of the crew’s filmmaking choices… or those that were notably bad.

“How about ‘the Zac Efron trifecta’?” Taylor suggested, showing her age. “High School Musical, followed by Hairspray, followed by The Greatest Showman.”

“Let’s just see if we can get through ‘Julie Andrews Fest’ first, okay?”

They did this fairly often. Just chilling out to the tune of films meeting their assigned theme. At the age they were, ‘just chilling out’ was pretty much requisite. Taylor’s arthritis had worsened considerably in the last year, and Diego’s respiratory issues were easily triggered by any amount of exertion. They were reasonably healthy nonogenerians… but they were nonogenerians.

You got to an age where you didn’t know when your best-friend-movie-weekend would be your last one. Naturally, a lot of the choices were deeply nostalgic old comforts. Created from nothing into a white American woman with a built-in noughties childhood and adolescence, the lyrics to all the songs in High School Musical-- and some of the dance routines too-- were something innate to Taylor. She’d been born with it. Later, she’d discovered that Quinn had been obsessed with the series as a kid and had found it a comfort as she shared it with her mom during long months housebound. When Vaanu was piecing together what ‘human’ looked like, something from Quinn’s consciousness must have been picked up. So many of those little things made up Taylor, and now that so many of her friends had passed on, they meant all the more.

There weren’t many of them left now. Quinn, who’d fought so valiantly to even survive adolescence, was still hanging on, the youngest of the group at coming up to ninety-four. Estela was still there, rather more mobile than the others, but then she was stubborn, gritting her teeth through the aches and pains and soldiering on. Aleister was… struggling. Taking one day at a time since the loss of his beloved Grace some months before. But he got up in the morning, and found his inner strength when needed to chide his sister for being a pig-headed idiot pushing her shrinking limits too far. Zahra had long been a respected figure among the Vaanti, and she was still the go-to person for technological know-how, even though anyone seeking her help was advised to do so only with an armoured layer of thick skin. She did ‘cantankerous and acerbic old woman’ to perfection, and her mind remained just as sharp as her tongue.

Taylor leaned back in her chair, feet up on an ottoman and wearing a well-worn pair of slippers.

“We’re going to have to become more selective,” she admitted. “And I know we traditionally do movies, but one last Doctor Who binge?”

Everything was getting to be ‘the last time’. Diego had put off their re-watch of The Lord of the Rings trilogy time and time again for that very reason; saying goodbye needed to be given the weight it deserved. Soon, he’d brave it, but for that one, Varyyn would need to join them.

“You couldn’t have picked a longer running series, Tay?” Diego teased. “We’ve got decades of life left in us to watch this stuff, you know….”

“Oh, ha-ha. You know I’m a David Tennant era girl. The rest I’ll take or leave. Like I said, we should be selective.”

Diego grunted a chuckle, and readied the next movie in their Julie-Andrews-a-thon, The Sound of Music, pausing before pressing ‘play’.

“Hey, I said ‘selective’, not that we couldn’t watch this-- you know I love--”

“Yeah, but think of the big old family sing-along we could make out of this,” he said, eyes twinkling. “We could even drag Zahra up here, keep her heckling muscles strong.”

Taylor’s grin broadened. Her family and Diego’s family were one and the same. Liv and her spouse, Jeimy, had lived on La Huerta a few years now-- and Rosa had lived there for a few decades. Their family was human, and Vaanti, with grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and nephews and nieces, and in-laws. It was their weird little family they’d made at the end of the world, and then everything that had grown from there.

“All right, I’ll share my bestie… this time. But we’re telling the hordes to bring their own snacks.”

“You’re on.”

They waited together in companiable quiet for the others to arrive. Taylor found herself studying the peaceful profile of her old friend as he began to doze. No doubt, he still felt a young twenty-something on the inside, just as she did. She could almost still see that young man, somewhere beneath the grey hair and the wrinkles that told a lifetime of stories.

Their stories.

___________________________

La Huerta, 2078

“Here you go,” Taylor said, a smile in her voice as she pushed the door open with her hip. “Breakfast in bed. You can’t say we don’t treat our guests right!”

With a soft moan, Diego propped himself higher against his pillow. “Pancakes? Who’d have thought recovering from heart surgery could be so sweet? I’ll never want to leave this bed if you keep this up. The usual pain aside, I feel pretty lucky.”

It was fortunate indeed that he’d had somewhere to go to for help just a short hop from La Huerta. And it was fortunate indeed that Taylor and Estela’s old home had enough room for them to care for him there-- and enough space that Varyyn could exist there comfortably in secret for the necessary recovery period. It was Liv’s home now, shared with her spouse and elder daughter, though the latter had temporarily moved in with her brother at the old Montoya place to make room. Still, with six people and three bedrooms, it was a very full house.

Diego met his old friend’s eye. “Thank you. Really.”

The reply was quiet and sincere. “It’s no problem.”

Taylor helped Diego with his breakfast tray. “It looked like Varyyn was enjoying his morning stroll around the big yard. I worried about him feeling trapped here, but I guess at our pace it takes a good while even to do one lap of it all.”

“He quite likes it,” Diego said. “Which is a relief-- I feel guilty enough taking him from his home. Varyyn doesn’t like the invisibility suit much anyway, but even if he did, I don’t think he’d so much as leave the property while I’m like this.”

“You’re very loved, you know.”

“I feel it right now,” he said softly. “Sore, and scared at being faced with my own mortality, and definitely very loved.”

The company was good. Liv was something between a niece and a daughter to him, and he loved her dearly. He never saw as much of her as Taylor’s other daughter, Rosa, who now lived on La Huerta, so the opportunity to catch up was welcome. Liv’s spouse, Jeimy, was a gentle presence, quietly seeing to it that their recuperating guest could want for nothing. Like Taylor, Estela had remained close to Diego’s bedside during the frightening days in hospital, and now put her considerable will-power into ensuring he took care of himself through the next phase and offering a shoulder to Varyyn should he need it. She didn’t tend to say a whole lot, but never left it unsaid that she cared. Even those few words weren’t really needed though… Diego knew.

Taylor’s voice cracked as she spoke again. “I’m just relieved to have home from hospital. God, actually, I’m just relieved to have you out the other side of going under,” she said. “We’ve lost too much… I’ve lost too much, and I couldn’t bear it if you….”

Diego put a bony hand on hers. He felt his own eyes welling as those dark days, not so far in the back-view mirror, came flooding back. Of Jake and Craig, and the gaping holes they’d torn with their departures, one after the other. Everyone must have been bricking it, as he’d have been if any of them had been taken into hospital for heart valve replacement surgery, a vulnerable old man of eighty-two, whose body could so easily have given up the ghost.

Taylor sniffed. “But with your ticker sorted, you’ve no excuse to bail out on me anytime soon.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Except home to La Huerta-- and maybe one last go round Disney World. I still can’t believe we got kicked out that time….”

“Ha. I blame that crowd of people wanting a picture with Varyyn-- way to get us unwanted attention!” Taylor chuckled, heartened by her friend’s ability to see beyond the recovery period. Maybe they should go and do something fun, a last hurrah. “It’s not far to Florida. I’m sure we can pull that one off… but we’ll get you healed up and recovered first. Deal? I need you to be okay.”

Diego met her eye and nodded. He’d never not take her fears for him seriously.

“No more scares. I don’t think Varyyn could take it either.”

It was strange to be in this place. Less and less he’d leave La Huerta… less and less there’d been a need to. There was no blood family left. He was contentedly retired, living the life of a revered old storyteller in Elyys’tel. And much of his chosen family-- Taylor and Estela, Grace and Aleister, and more recently Zahra, Sean and Raj-- had taken up residence back on La Huerta, choosing to spend their twilight years, well, home. The younger generation did most of the running around, visiting frequently, while the bulk of the ageing Catalyst gang remained settled in the place that had changed everything. More accustomed to life in a Vaanti village than he was the world he’d been born into, Diego had long lost the desire to go back, even to visit.

“No,” Taylor said quietly. “He’s been worried sick.”

This would probably be the last time Diego and Varyyn would visit the extended Montoya family in San Trobida. Diego had been a frequent guest at old Tio Nicolas’ place whenever Taylor and Estela were staying with him, and later was a frequent guest in this house as his friends put down their own roots. All the photographs on the dresser he’d looked at a thousand times before; Taylor and Estela on their second wedding day, young Liv with a broad grin and a gymnastics medal, a middle-aged couple he knew to be Estela’s grandparents, and one of the many, many group photos taken on a Catalyst reunion-- he’d guess the date to be sometime in the 2040s. And there was one of him and Taylor, arms around one another and grinning; he was pretty sure it had been taken at a party to celebrate the launch of his second book. It had been a pretty tipsy night, so neither remembered it being taken, but he’d always loved how damn happy he looked in that picture. Taylor had once told Diego he ‘represented her side of the family’. He felt it. This room was more home than any other off La Huerta had ever been.

“Hey?” Taylor broke the long silence. “I’m gonna go grab a slice or two of toast, but I’ll come back. If you don’t mind, can I sit up on the bed with you? I think… I’m having a clingy day.”

There was no question at all.

____________________________

La Huerta, 2070

Taylor took a deep breath as she stepped off the plane. This was it. They were home for good.

“Grandma!” came the holler of little Aurora, nine years old, soon to be wrapped in a cuddle.

“We’re here! All in one piece, thanks to Captain Georgie,” Taylor announced. It had been a few years since Georgiana and Benny took over from their father as La Huerta’s go-to pilots, and she’d been tasked the very important job of bringing two of the Catalysts back to the island.

“Can we go on the plane?” twelve-year-old Leo clamoured, peering past his grandmother.

“Why, you’re going somewhere?” Estela asked, stepping down onto the dirt and taking in the familiar scents of La Huerta.

Leo shook his head. “I’ve just never checked out the cockpit,” he said. “But I swear I’m happy to see you too!”

They all did the rounds of hugs; Taylor and Estela’s younger daughter, Rosa, lived on the island with her Vaanti husband, and the reunion was always emotional. Sean and Jake’s youngest, Georgie, also lived here-- like Diego, she was almost as culturally Vaanti as she was anything else-- and her little family had also come down to the airstrip to greet the newcomers.

Diego held back patiently, dying though he was to throw his arms around his old friend and welcome her to the rest of their lives. He wasn’t about to get between those kids and their grandmas-- both Leo and Aurora had been talking about little else for weeks.

With tears in her eyes, Taylor squeezed little Aurora as she came in for hug after hug, only letting anyone else get a look in when she latched on to Estela for a few seconds before switching again. Of Taylor and Estela’s five grandchilren, Aurora was the youngest, the only blonde of the bunch, and the one who most resembled Grandma Tay-- and not just physically. Their bond was especially tight; Aurora had been in floods of tears last time they’d said goodbye. There’d be less of that now. Of course, the trade-off was that Liv’s clan in San Trobida would become the family they’d have to fly to visit…. There was really no winning once one’s children spread their wings and put down roots away from the maternal nest; she and Estela could not be with all of them all of the time, however much they wanted to be.

“Hey, G’ma!” Leo took an opportunity to get a look in, putting an arm around his grandmother. He was as tall as her now-- how and when did that happen?

“How are you doing, sweetheart?” Taylor asked, and she had to crane her neck to kiss his head. Goddamnit, kid, stop growing so fast! “Have you been up to much while we were gone?”

“Mostly just school and stuff,” he said with a shrug. “Dad’s been giving me some guitar lessons, though.”

“You’re giving the drums a rest?”

Leo grinned, his dark eyes alight with the mischief of a kid with a penchant for making a lot of noise. “For now.”

With Leo soon back to the important business of kicking a ball up and down the beach with Georgie’s children, Niraea and Rauan, and Estela being shown the jewellery Aurora had made, Taylor exchanged hugs and greetings with Rosa and Homori. She found herself choking up as she looked over her daughter’s shoulder and into the world that had been the making of her… where she was truly home.

There was nowhere else I was ever going to wind up in the end, was there?

And there, meeting her eye, was Diego. What she didn’t owe that man…. Her smile broadened to match his, and with a kiss to Rosa’s hair, she stepped away.

“Where’s my hug, Diego? You finally got your way-- we’re here, and we’re here to stay!”

Diego laughed. “It was only ever a matter of time. I know you… and this is your happy place.”

She embraced him, then took his hand and squeezed, before raising their joined fingers to her face to wipe away those pesky tears.

“It’s really good to be home, you know? It’s really good to be home.”

________________________

La Huerta, 2060

With a grunt, Diego sat down upon the sand. They hadn’t walked far from Elyys’tel. He was tired, the toll of the past few days being felt all over.

“I’m sorry,” Taylor said heavily. “I really am sorry. For your loss, and for being a pushy jerk when you plainly told me to give you space.”

Diego gave her a soft nudge with his shoulder. He’d needed to hear it, that apology. Things had been hard, as though every part of him was in conflict, and he’d been helpless but to let it all blow up inside him. He’d needed his best friend, but mostly he’d needed her to leave him the hell alone to work out his own head.

“Hey, you got the message eventually. Took you long enough, but… I think I can forgive you. I know Varyyn has too.”

A fall-out with Taylor had been the last thing he’d needed, but it was just that kind of a week. Of course, his father dying had to coincide with the most vital phase of Varyyn’s handing over the title of Elyyshar to Taari, and of course Taylor in full ‘fix everyone’s problems’ mode would come in all overbearing just when he needed to be left to process. Looking back, he could see how Taylor needed to feel as though she could help, to overcompensate for the helplessness she’d been battling over her daughter’s struggles back home.

Things had been rocky between them for a few days, but space had done its job. Sitting out there in the place where they each felt most themselves, feelings and fears could come tumbling out, for he was ready for it now.

“So, now it’s just Mama,” Diego was saying. “I have even less reason to go back-- I know she wouldn’t recognise me anyway. What would I say if she did? There’s nothing more I’m willing to apologise for; I’m not apologising for being me.”

“And you shouldn’t. Not ever.”

Diego looked into his friend’s face, desperately seeking comfort as he’d done countless times before. Any anger over how she’d behaved was gone; now he was ready to talk, and he just wanted that same old honest and loving support he trusted her to give… even when the conversation itself scared him half to death. What it could say about himself… the very man he was…. When he spoke again, the words came out rushed and fearful.

“My cousins will keep visiting… I know they will. But Mama’s going to be one of those tragic dementia patients sitting abandoned in a nursing home, her only kid having wiped his hands of her. It makes me feel just sick with guilt.”

“Hey,” Taylor said gently. She tenderly brushed a lock of her behind Diego’s ear. Her heart ached for him. It was so damn unfair, but that, it seemed, was life sometimes. All she could do was listen. And actually listen this time. “You’re getting eaten up over someone who’s betrayed your trust, who’s had every chance to put the work in and heal things but chose not to. You still love your mom, but you love yourself more. That’s not abandonment by my reckoning.”

A tear rolled down Diego’s cheek. “Just… just feels different now. The roles are reversed, and she’s the one who needs looking after.”

Taylor frowned thoughtfully. “I wish I had the answers. I really do. A big part of me wants to tell you ‘screw that asshole, she made her bed and has to lie in it’, but you’re the one who’s going to have to be able to live with yourself. If living with yourself means spending some time with her, even just one visit to get closure, it doesn’t mean you’re just bowing down to the pressure she put on you all those years. Whatever you decide, do it for you.”

They quietly watched the waves roll in.

Diego found himself envying his friend. Taylor didn’t have a family, so they couldn’t hurt her. She’d never felt rejection-- certainly not from anyone who’d promised a lifetime of love. He always came back to Taylor, it just came naturally, but the flickerings of resentment reared their heads, even as the two of them stood shoulder to shoulder on the beach. How could she possibly have a clue?

He brushed away his tears. Of all the times he’d wished he was in Taylor’s shoes instead, it always came back to truth that he was proud of the man he’d become… and that man had been shaped by the life he’d lived and the people he’d loved-- whether they returned it or not.

And Taylor… cared for him. She loved him. So, he’d take her as the wonderful, flawed person she was and appreciate her presence in his corner, even when she botched the execution. At least she screwed up and then made amends, she wasn’t too proud to be wrong. In contrast, he didn’t think he could recall an instance of his mother owning up and apologising even once in his life….

Diego sighed loudly. No one else could decide this one for him. His decision… well, he’d already decided. He just had to find a way to forgive himself.

Getting to his feet, he held out a hand to pull Taylor to hers. Then, they continued their walk. They walked the well-trodden and yet constantly-changing strip between Elyys’tel and Catalyst’tel, bare feet in the shallows, the water pleasantly cool as the sun neared the horizon.

“I know who I am,” Diego said, after another long stretch of comfortable, if emotional, hush. I’m not a cruel person.”

“Cruel is the last thing you are,” Taylor said, soft but full of conviction.

Diego’s chin trembled. Sorry, Mama. This is me knowing what I’m worth. “My head knows I can’t give Mama any more. My heart’s just going to need to learn to let go.”

They fell quiet once more.

“Sunset’s really pretty tonight….” Diego said quietly after a while. “Guess it’s not all doom and gloom.”

And in the morning… the sun would rise again.

_______________________

La Huerta, 2042

“I wanted to put something to you,” Taylor said nervously. “It’ll need you and Varyyn to sit with it a bit, so don’t worry about giving me an answer now.”

“That sounds… pretty ominous to be honest.”

This was supposed to be just a relaxing stroll along the beach before dinner, but Diego was immediately on alert for something big. Admittedly, Taylor had dropped some pretty gargantuan bombs on him in the past.

Taylor chuckled and shook her head. “Before you freak out-- we’d like you to be Rosa’s godfather. Or the agnostic equivalent anyway. Basically, if anything were to happen to ‘Stel and me, you and Liv would share custody of Rosa and take care of her together-- whether it’s here or back in San Trobida.”

Diego took it in with a nod, turning it over in his head. She was asking the world and giving the world… but was it her heart talking over her head?

“You don’t think-- I mean, I’m sure you’ve thought of this-- that in a worst-case scenario she’d do better with some of the guys in San Trobida who she’s got to know a bit more?”

Diego watched as his friend’s face crumpled before him. “I’m sorry-- I didn’t mean--”

Taylor turned away, wrestling with herself as emotion overcame her. “God, you don’t have to be sorry. It’s… it’s what Estela said initially too.” She looked back to Diego, her eyes rimmed with red. “It’s just different with you. What we have is special; I’ll never have a connection like that with another person. You’re my other home.”

“Is one not enough for you? Greedy cow,” Diego teased gently, but he wrapped Taylor in his arms as he did so, bringing her in so they were forehead-to-forehead. He got it. His deep sense of belonging with Varyyn didn’t take away the warmth and security he gleaned from the tight bond he had with Taylor. It was more like… a familial bond. They’d each grown and gone their separate ways, but a piece of their hearts resided with one another and always would.

“I would always, always be there for your girls,” he said.

“I know….” Taylor said shakily. “You’ve just been such an amazing ‘special uncle’ to Liv; it would be wonderful for Rosa, you know? She needs all the support systems we can give her.” She sighed, and gave a weak laugh. “It goes without saying, doesn’t it. I guess… I guess….”

As she trailed off, Diego considered her quietly. Taylor’s past year had been intense, and the distance between them had made it difficult for him to be the shoulder he wanted to be her. The bags under her eyes were telling, and the way she so clearly longed for closeness with him.

“It’s hardly a surprise… mortality being on your mind. What with the anniversary just been,” he said quietly.

Twelve months prior, Estela had been grievously injured in an attack by a young and brash admirer of the late General Salazar. Vastly more experienced in fighting as she was, Estela had managed to stave off mortal harm, but it had been far too close a shave for comfort. Miles and miles away, Diego had been there with Taylor, talking her through the terror and despair down a phone line. Of course, Jake flew a plane to bring him back to San Trobida as soon as he could, but he felt his isolation from the rest of the world in a way he rarely had before or since. His best friend had him now, though.

Taylor nodded, sniffing. “I thought I’d moved on from it. ‘Stel’s going strong. We actually needed a jolt to make us stop and really consider how we wanted the rest of our lives to look-- maybe we wouldn’t even have Rosi now if it wasn’t for the wake-up call. But it scared the absolute shit out of me.

“Obviously, I don’t think either of us are going anywhere, or we wouldn’t have even thought about adopting. It just sneaks up on me with how close we came. Life’s pretty fragile.”

“How are things going with Rosa?” Diego ventured gently. “Smooth sailing since we last talked?”

“She seems pretty happy, doesn’t she?” Taylor replied, fully aware of just how obvious her deflection was. But this was Diego, so she relented and shared. “I think security will come in time for her. Right now the threshold for meltdowns is really low-- the slightest hint of either of us using a stern tone with her or being disapproving in any way, and she goes to pieces.” She gave a dry little laugh. “Obviously I feel a complete asshole for ragging on Estela that first time it happened. Rosa barely gives us a reason to reprimand her in any way, she’s so desperate to please, but we’re human beings and we get frustrated.”

“Bet it makes you feel like absolute shit, though! Only human or not.”

Taylor met his eye and nodded again. “It’s a lot. I’m with her all day-- though we’re confident she’ll be ready to go to a real school next year-- and I’m hyper-aware of how she’s perceiving me. I’m pretty sure she is happy for the most part; her speaking’s come on in leaps and bounds, and there’s so much affection between us.” She gave a sad shrug. “I just wish so badly that she didn’t have that fear, that she knew with total certainty that she’s ours unconditionally. She doesn’t deserve to be scared like she is.”

“It’s just time, you know?” Diego said gently. “You did a pretty good job of convincing me you were unconditional, and I had even more years of baggage collected than Rosi does. Just… time.”

“Yeah….” Taylor’s shoulders slumped. There was no magic shortcut.

“I’ll come and pay you another visit-- soon. I want to stay with you a while; if what’s holding me back from saying yes is that Rosa doesn’t know me well enough, then we fix that. She’s basically my niece, and I already love her; we’re on catch-up compared to Liv at that age, but I’ll work on it ‘til we get there.”

A smile came to Taylor’s face, growing ever-broader.

“What?” said Diego, “I take it you’re on board with that? I don’t need to Airbnb it?”

Taylor couldn’t help but laugh. “Buddy, how long have you been out here? Airbnb went down the tubes years ago! And you know full well, if you come to San Trobida and stay anywhere other than the Casa Montoya, I will be mortally wounded.”

“Heh, well, I can’t have that.”

#endless summer #playchoices #diego soto #taylor montoya #estela x taylor #variego

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