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kindofcashton · 4 years

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𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕 • chapter 15 (Calum Hood AU)

HANNAH AND I must have toured a dozen apartments the next day. We started early in the morning and went all the way through lunch, looking at a bunch of cramped and overpriced places in the city. Even though I wasn’t entirely on board with the idea of moving out, I thought it couldn’t hurt to look. She’d found a bunch of places online and we started ticking them off our list, noting what we liked and didn’t like about each one. Hannah was way more into it than I was, carrying around a small notebook that she scribbled little details into to keep track of our findings.

As I walked through the next apartment, taking in the chipped painted brick and scuffed flooring, I felt what little enthusiasm I had waning even more. While Hannah made a good point that we were both in a place to move out, I still couldn’t pass up the luxury of living back at the house where I didn’t pay rent. Even with my job I’d only just managed to pay off the pipe damages at my old house, and my bank account was tight. I could make it work with some budgeting, but I hadn’t planned on doing that until I absolutely had to.

“Isn’t this natural light great?” Hannah commented, motioning to the big windows taking up the majority of one wall. They provided nice lighting, but I noted the ugly view of a back alley. Not to mention the city was never asleep, so even at night the room would be lit up from outside activity.

“And this couch is just adorable,” Hannah added, patting the cushion of an odd, modern-looking pea green sofa. I rolled my eyes.

“The furniture isn’t included here, Han. Shouldn’t that be written in your little notebook?” She frowned at my statement, and flipped through the pages of her book before sighing.

“Look, I know most of these places are kind of shitty, but at least we’d be living together. Think about it; two best friends living in the city and paving our way through the world. Things might be sucking right now, but we just gotta make lemonade out of lemons, right?”

I chuckled at her joke, and imagined that life in my head. Admittedly, it did seem nice. Living independently, working for a future, maybe even going to school again. The me from a few months ago would jump at this chance, but I was a different girl now. Things changed, one of the biggest being Calum. I didn’t know what our relationship was, but I knew we’d never have a chance to figure it out if I left. I wasn’t ready to sacrifice him, even if it meant facing some challenges.

When Hannah proposed we move on to the next apartment, I begged her to let us take a break since I was ravenous with hunger and it was well past lunchtime. She conceded, and we put our mission on hold to grab a bite to eat. Touring would take up the rest of the day, which was a good thing considering we didn’t want to go home until absolutely necessary. We never quite knew what we’d be walking into.

As we ate our salads at a little outdoor, I remembered something Hannah had said a few weeks ago. “Hey Han, remember when you told me all that stuff about soulmates?”

She lowered her fork and scowled. “Yeah, what a load of crap that turned out to be.”

I frowned. “It wasn’t crap. Didn’t you say that even if you and Ashton weren’t together, you were still meant to be?”

“I don’t know, I know I said that, but...” Her eyes filled with pain at the mention of her ex. “Soulmates don’t do this shit to each other, right?”

She had a good point, but I also knew that their problems had arisen from a place of love. Ashton was just hurt by her lying, which he could only feel if he really loved her. With the right apologies they could move past it, if what Hannah had said was true. Soulmates should be able to overcome anything.

“I didn’t really get it before, but now I believe it. You still should, too.” Her eyebrows raised at my words, intrigued.

“What, is Nick your soulmate or something?” Hannah joked, causing me to bite my cheek as I forced a smile. I was actually thinking of Calum, even though I definitely didn’t consider us soulmates. It just seemed like the universe wanted us together more than we did, and that had to be some sort of sign.

“No, not yet at least,” I bluffed. “I’ve just been thinking about it lately, what with everything going on. It’s comforting to have something to believe in when everything else is failing.”

She nodded, biting her thumb as she became lost in thought. Hannah had her own inner battles to wage, probably similar to the ones I had about Calum. I knew avoiding them was not the right way to handle our problems, but the thought of walking into yet another storm at home discouraged me.

We finished our tours well into the evening, finding each apartment pretty much identical to the last. I made an effort to point out the ones I preferred, just so Hannah saw I was trying a little bit. I made no promises to actually sign any dotted lines, but just saying I would think about it was enough to satisfy her.

We weren’t surprised to see Michael’s car gone when we got home, which meant Luke probably wasn’t here either. But Calum’s mustang was dutifully parked in the driveway, and I didn’t know if my heart skipped a beat out of excitement or dread.

Since it was so late Hannah said she was gonna go crash in the basement, and I agreed. I was tired down to my bones, but for so many different reasons. I was just about to head upstairs when I saw the faint glow of the kitchen light on, and I paused before moving any further. I knew talking to Calum alone was a dangerous game, and that it could end badly in a lot of ways. But there was a tugging in my chest that I simply couldn’t resist, and so I dropped my bag by the stairs and walked around to the kitchen.

He was seated at the table, half empty beer bottle in front of him. His black tee shirt and black jeans made him look like a shadow, barely there and on the verge of disappearing. He didn’t notice me at first, lost in whatever thought had a frown on his face. But then he looked over, brown eyes grabbing hold of me like a vice.

My smile was faint as I folded my arms and leaned against the wall, not daring to get any closer. I had no idea if this stoic expression of his was out of anger, sadness, or just boredom.

“Hey,” I greeted stiffly, deciding one of us may as well talk first. “I didn’t hear you come in last night.” After my talk with Hannah, I’d been worried that Calum was hurt when I didn’t go after him. I waited up anxiously for about an hour, but he hadn’t returned by the time I fell asleep.

He leaned back in his seat, hands toying with the beer bottle. “I didn’t hear you leave this morning,” he countered, relieving some of my tension. He didn’t sound angry, but he still hadn’t hinted at how he felt about yesterday.

“Yeah, Hannah and I left pretty early. She wanted to look at apartments, and I went with her.” I shifted from one foot to the other, anticipating his response. Calum took a swig of beer, still maintaining a steady frown.

“She wanted to look?” he asked, a slight emphasis on she.

“With everything going on, I guess she just wanted her options open,” I explained, knowing the underlying question he was trying to ask but ignoring it.

But Calum clearly wanted it answered. “What about your options?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek, at a loss for words. I couldn’t even figure out myself what I wanted to do, let alone tell someone else. I fidgeted, trying to buy myself time to think. “I like living here,” I said after a while, causing him to look over again. Quickly I added, “because the rent is free, and I don’t have a lot of money yet.” I wanted to kick myself after saying this; why did I have to be so defensive? Why couldn’t I have just said I liked living here and left it at that, open-ended for Calum to interpret himself?

He stared down at the table, and I missed his warm brown eyes once he tore them away. “Right,” he murmured. “It’s economically convenient.”

I sighed, detecting his frustration. I hadn’t meant to come off as a cheapskate leaching off of the guys’ kindness, but apparently that’s how he saw it. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just...I want to pay rent, trust me I feel bad everyday for taking advantage, but…” The words escaped me, and something told me Calum didn’t really care about my explanation anyway. In an attempt to salvage this, I stated, “Look, if Hannah finds a place she likes I’ll probably go with her. That way, I’m out of your hair and actually living somewhere I deserve.”

I thought this would please Calum, but instead it only caused his brows to furrow and his frown to deepen. “That’s what you think I want?” he questioned, catching me off guard.

“Isn’t it?” His silent, incredulous stare just made me huff impatiently. “I can’t read your mind, Calum. I have no idea what you want, but I thought that was pretty close--”

“If you think I want you gone, then you’re wrong.”

I froze, suddenly feeling the distance between us shrink. Even though he was across the room, it was like he was right next to me, speaking right into my soul. Almost a minute passed by with neither of us saying anything, and I was so confused I knew I wouldn’t be the first to break the silence. Luckily, Calum seemed to know exactly what he wanted to say, because he stood up and walked over to the sink, placing the beer bottle in the sink and gripping the counter with his hands. He was facing away from me, and all I could see were the tense muscles in his back.

“Don’t go.”

Two words. Two small, barely distinguishable words I had to strain to hear. But those two words carried the weight of the world, our world, and it knocked all the breath out of me.

But naturally, my guard went up. I didn’t trust Calum, and I wouldn’t let his vague request get the better of me. “What happened to not giving a shit about me? I thought I was a liar who drives everybody insane. You said you hated me.” I knew referencing that particular fight was risky, considering what had transpired after it. Hatred had fueled our actions then, the passion an angry one that left me confused and guilty in the morning.

Calum turned around at last, and I saw the intensity in his eyes as he sighed. “You’re right. You are annoying and stubborn and make me absolutely crazy sometimes. But then, when I had stormed out yesterday because I was just so damn angry, I stopped myself. I was just sitting in my car, in some random parking lot, trying to get your stupid voice out of my head.”

My heart thumped so loudly in my chest I was sure it was shaking the whole room.

He shook his head, almost in a daze. “I knew exactly what you’d say. I knew you would tell me it would be okay, and that all I had to do was try. I could picture your face exactly. I even…” The way he licked his lips made my knees go weak. “You might just be the most infuriating person I’ve ever met, but I need you Scarlett. You make me a better person--you force me to be a better person, even when I don’t want to be. No one has ever given that much of a shit about me, or put in that much effort. Most people just...settle with what I’ve got. But you…”

Almost unconsciously my body brought me closer to him, meeting in the middle as the magnetism between us could no longer be fought. We were an inch away, and I was barely even breathing. When Calum lifted a hand to rest on the side of my face, a long-awaited exhale left my lungs.

“I need you, Scarlett,” he whispered. His admission hung in the air between us, the last barrier we needed to break before we could really come together. Feeling the touch of his fingers on my skin and the heat of his gaze on my face, I knew what needed to be done. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

Kissing Calum was a phenomenon I would never get used to. Each time, it was even deeper, even hotter. His lips were so familiar and yet so strange, eliciting new feelings inside of me with every movement. He tasted like beer and smelled like cologne, his scent intoxicating me. One swipe of his tongue across my bottom lip had me melting, and soon our tongues clashed with a new fervor born from the passion of his confession.

He needs me. Calum needs me. I repeated this phrase inside my head as we stumbled through the kitchen, my back hitting the wall and my hands finding his neck for stability. I could feel his desperation in every hot, rushed action he took, from biting my lip gently to skimming his hands down my sides. It was like he would die if he couldn’t feel me, touch me, kiss me.

Fully clothed and fully exposed in the kitchen, I worried for a second that Hannah would walk in on us, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment. Unfortunately, Calum was the first to pull away from the kiss. Our breathing was labored but matched, the synchronicity of our pulses electrifying the room. I scanned his face, frowning in confusion. “Why’d you stop?”

Smiling at my slight panic, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up, revealing a few inches of my abdomen and stopping just below my bra. “Because there are things I want to do to you that can’t be done in this kitchen,” he murmured into my ear, and I rolled my eyes back as his warm breath tickled my skin.

We fumbled through the dark house, hands entangled together as he led me up the stairs. Exhilaration coursed through me like a drug, igniting every nerve ending on my body. I couldn’t wait to tear off my clothes and expose myself to Calum and his wicked tricks.

As he closed the door to his bedroom behind me, he watched me whip off my shirt and pretended to pout. “I wanted to do that,” he complained, his large hands grabbing my sides and lighting up the skin that his fingers pressed into. I smiled, giving him a light kiss before leaning back and quirking an eyebrow up.

“There are plenty of other things you can take off,” I replied in a low voice, making his eyes spark as he reattached our lips. He used his body to push mine back to the bed until I fell back, his large frame resting on me in a deliciously suffocating way. I didn’t know why but the weight of him on top of me felt so right, and I pressed my hands into his back to bring him even closer.

Calum felt my hands and ripped his shirt over his head, discarding it beside mine on the floor. His lips traveled down my jaw to my neck, sloppy and wet and riling me up inside. One hand supported his weight while the other rested on my hip, thumb moving to undo the front button of my jeans. In a flash my pants were off, and only my bra and panties covered me. I arched my back in order to undo my bra clasp, and the action pushed my breasts close to Calum’s face, and he let out a groan as his lips dipped to kiss my chest.

“God, Scarlett,” he growled when I was nearly exposed to him, my torso bare and my panties shortly following as I tossed them to the floor. The way Calum looked at me, like he was consuming me with his very eyes and touch, made me feel like I was on fire. His hands drifted over every inch of skin, sliding down my inner thighs and up my waist.

I wrapped my fingers into his curls just as I felt his hand cover my entrance, causing my hips to buck with pleasure. One simple stroke of his finger had me moaning, and my folds were slick with excitement. He worked my clit in circles that had my jaw dropping, and it was all I could do not to scream out his name.

“Oh my god,” I breathed, one of his fingers dipping into my core. “Just like that.” I could tell he was smirking by the way he kissed me, and this amusing arrogance of his only made my stomach tighten further. I couldn’t believe how much Calum affected me, how one simple touch had me hurtling towards the edge. I knew as soon as my toes began to curl and my hips lifted off the mattress I was done for, and his fingers pumped one more time before my orgasm rocketed through me.

Stars swam before my vision as I whined with pleasure, legs shaking and chest heaving with effort. I came down off my high to the feeling of him kissing my jaw, curls tickling my chin. With clumsy movements, I wrestled with his difficult belt buckle, huffing when it wouldn’t come undone. Calum chuckled lowly, capturing my pout with his lips. He kissed me gently as he expertly removed his belt and slid his pants down, boxers going along with them. When he leaned back to pull them off, I got a perfect view of his body. Toned muscles shone in the dim moonlight streaking through the window, and I could just make out how hard he was. His cock looked stiff and I tenderly reached out a hand to caress it, gingerly swiveling up and feeling the hot skin in my palm.

Calum let out a string of curse words at my motions, coming forward again so he was engulfing me with his body. When I rubbed my thumb at the base of his tip, he hissed and grabbed my wrist. “If you want this to last, you’re gonna have to stop doing that, babe,” he told me darkly, the word babe making my stomach somersault. I released his cock and brought my hand to his cheek, kissing him hard and communicating all of my desire in the way my lips connected to his.

The lust in his blown out pupils told me he wanted the exact same thing, and after a minute he reached one arm over to the nightstand. A familiar foil packet was ripped open, and I watched his deft fingers work the condom on until he was lined up at my entrance. His tip just dipped into my folds, and the agonizing tease had my breath erratic.

Our noses brushed as we both waited for the inevitable. My heart pounded in my ears and my senses were overwhelmed by the boy hovering above me, so close to giving me exactly what I wanted. His full pink lips were parted slightly, and I slid my palm along the line of his jaw. Calum read my eyes, surely seeing the craving in my expression. Dropping his forehead to my own, I felt his hips shift as he sank into me.

A cry quickly left my lips after he entered me. My slick folds encased his throbbing length, and he pressed all the way inside until I felt him reach the deepest part of me. The stretch was sensational, and he filled me with every inch of him. I almost didn’t want him to move, in love with the feeling of him fitting so closely. But then he pulled his hips back, almost all the way out, and reentered with a firm push that had me whining for more.

“Fuck,” he swore breathily, eyes closed as he rocked into me. “You’re so tight.” I gripped his bicep, lips lazily dragging across his jaw as his face rested right above mine. Calum’s breaths were shallow and hitched every time my walls clenched around him. I tugged at the ends of his air, causing an impassioned moan to escape his mouth.

This must have snapped something inside of him, because his pace began to increase. Each thrust went deeper, harder, faster. He filled me completely only to slide out and slam back into me. My knees bent and my legs wrapped around his hips, providing a new angle that had his name tumbling out of my lips.

“God, Calum, yes,” I cried, his face burying in my neck. My hands went from his hair to his back to his arms, desperately trying to hang on as my body lost control. We were so in sync, and with each push into me I felt myself falling further and further into ecstasy.

His moans had also picked up speed, growing louder when I bucked my hips into his. “You feel so good, baby,” he rasped, sucking on my neck and massaging my breast with his hand. He was everywhere, in me and on me and around me, and I wanted nothing more than to be swallowed up by his embrace.

Calum’s thrusts grew rougher and sloppier, each one coiling up the heat inside me tighter and tighter. I knew I was close when my legs began to shake, and my eyes couldn’t stay open. Colors exploded in a rainbow of pleasure as my second orgasm hit, erupting through my nerves like lava. I was moaning and clawing at his back, and when Calum groaned deeply I knew he was done for as well. We both rode our orgasms with mingled moans and slow kisses, and when I had recovered I felt the weight of him fully on top of me as he rested inside of me. I felt complete, entirely connected the one person I’d been yearning for for weeks. I never wanted him to pull away, to leave me and bring back the empty feeling.

We laid like this for a while, my fingers trailing across his back as he rested his cheek on my chest, breath finally steadying as he exhaled into my skin. When I unwrapped my legs from around him he finally rolled off of me, sliding out of my folds and quickly throwing out the condom into the bin next to the bed. I was sore in the best way possible, and my body felt blissfully satisfied.

Calum rolled back to face me, not hesitating before he pulled me into his chest. I rested against his hot, sweat-glistened skin, savoring the way I could feel his subtle heartbeat under my cheek. His fingers drifted up and down my arm, soothing the burning skin before pulling the covers over us and providing even more warmth. I was scorching hot, and closed my eyes as I imagined how nice it would be if we could melt into one another.

I felt Calum press his lips to the top of my head in a surprisingly intimate gesture, and my heart swooned before exhaustion took me out of reality and into a dreamless sleep.

- - - - -

For once, Calum was awake before me. I woke up to the feeling of his fingers in my hair, running through the soft strands as he gazed down at me. I pressed my nose into the skin of his chest, inhaling as much of him as I could. He smelled warm and sweet and I wondered briefly if I was in a dream.

“You frown in your sleep, you know,” he said softly, causing me to look up at him with a puzzled expression. His smile was faint but his eyes were kind, and I basked in their brown glow. “So serious, like you’re deep in thought even when you’re asleep.”

My lips stretched into a smile, and my hand rubbed his chest lazily. “You’re watching me sleep?”

He shrugged, brushing the hair out of my face and resting his hand on the side of my neck. “I love looking at you.” His simple but powerful statement made my smile grow, and if I wasn’t so tired I would’ve jumped for joy. Drowsily, I leaned up to kiss his lips, barely even touching him but bringing our naked bodies closer once more. I couldn’t help the gleeful grin on my face, and it only broadened when Calum went in for another kiss.

I was about to say something about the way he slept when a harsh and unwelcome ringing blared from my phone. Our little bubble abruptly burst as I scrambled to find the phone, not thinking before I hit the end call button. But I didn’t toss my phone aside before reading the name of the caller, and my blood ran cold. It was Nick.

Sitting on the side of the bed, half of my body covered by the blankets but the other half exposed, I knitted my brows as Calum’s fingers danced across my skin, unaware of who had just tried to talk to me. He must have seen the look on my face, because his fingers stalled their movements.

Frustration and panic and even a little bit of guilt started to crowd my thoughts, as I suddenly remembered I was sort of dating someone that wasn’t the naked boy next to me. I chewed my lip, wondering if it was best to just lie about who had called and not ruin the moment.

No, Scarlett. You can’t lie. I sighed, knowing that I had to fess up. Any more lying would surely destroy Calum and I, and that was the last thing I wanted right now. I brought my hand to his, twisting my fingers against his own in an attempt to connect us in even a small way.

“Who was it?” he asked, tone dry and apprehensive. I bit my lip, praying this didn’t make him angry.

“It was Nick, the guy I...am sort of seeing.” I held my breath as he took this information in. Already his expression grew distant, and I panicked as he pulled his hand out of mine.

“Sort of seeing?” he repeated. I looked away, unable to hold his gaze when his eyes were boring so deep inside of me. The truth was Nick hadn’t even crossed my mind once last night, and I didn’t care. Calum had consumed me in every way, and I knew Nick would never be able to make me feel half as good.

But telling these things to Calum was risky. Too much and it might scare him away. Too little and he might get pissed at me. It was a fine line that I needed to navigate carefully, since our whole future depended on it.

“Sort of seeing as in...I don’t really want to be seeing him.” It was a simple clarification, and I just hoped Calum understood what it meant. Nick means nothing to me, I would give him up in a heartbeat for you. His calculated stare concerned me, and my mouth dried as I worried he didn’t understand.

He lowered his gaze, unable to meet mine as well. “So you’re saying, after last night, you don’t want to be with him.” I clenched my jaw at his infuriatingly vague assertion. If I said yes, he might think I looked too much into the night and thought we were more serious than we were. If I said no, he might think I didn’t care.

I couldn’t bear the space between us, and slid my body right next to his so my head rested on his shoulder. Physical communication seemed a better option than verbal, since I knew I would screw it up. I sighed and closed my eyes, rubbing my cheek against his arm. “I don’t know what it means, exactly. What I do know is...I just want to be here with you. For as long as we can.”

His silence terrified me, and I was about to give up entirely when he twisted his body to face mine, our chests touching gently. I watched his brown eyes closely, trying to decipher the thoughts behind them. Calum paused for a second, and then broke into a crooked smile.

“Well then you better end it with the poor bloke before he gets his hopes up.”

Pure elation washed over me, and my wide grin returned as I launched myself forward to kiss him. He reacted immediately, arms encircling me in a comforting embrace. It wasn’t a definite declaration of any sort of relationship, but it was enough. It was enough to know that Calum wanted to be here with me as much as I did, and the relief I felt was immeasurable.

I didn’t know what would happen after this, but frankly I didn’t care. I only cared about the taste of Calum’s lips and the touch of his hands, passion igniting between us as I kissed him hard. Under the warm blankets, with our bodies glued together and our lips connecting us, we were in paradise, at least for a fleeting instant.

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