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jacquerel · 5 years

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I played Fiasco with Sol and my two sisters today and we had a good time

We were playing with a Star Trek themed playbook, as it was something both my sisters would be familiar with (we decided not to go with Muppets or X-Files).

Sol was Security Chief Vi Quartro, star trek alien which is essentially a human with a prehensile tail I was First Officer Flash Branson, star trek alien which is essentially a human but they always wear sunglasses Carys was Captain Neurocognate, a human who graduated from “sunfleet” with flying colours Emma was Zolgo, Ambassador for the Zolgan Empire, a large furby with extendable arms

Vi Quartro and Zolgo had a relationship of Security Officer/Petty Criminal, as Zolgo's chief desire was to acquire additional wealth for the Zolgan empire, they met up occasionally in the gym Flash Branson and Vi Quartro were both contestants vying for the same job (Captain), who also shared a valuable alien fish who lives in their shared quarters Captain Neuro and First Officer Branson were Captain and First Officer, who collectively needed to make the profit of a lifetime Zolgo and Captain Neuro were "a blunderer and repairer", in that Captain Neuro is a very bad captain but Zolgo needs to help them maintain their position because they have influence over Neuro, in the form of a "mind-linking device"

The first scene is the Captain, Security Chief, and First Officer meeting to discuss the recent diplomatic talks with the Zolgans (which ended with Zolgo joining the crew as a permanent ambassador) where Vi mentions that some things have been going missing aboard ship lately, and both Vi and Flash notice that the Captain is acting erratically and begin thinking of personal advancement

Zolgo and the Captain meet privately, where it is revealed that Zolgo is sending weird visions to Neuro through an alien earpiece which Neuro believes are her own thoughts, in order to try to manipulate her into redirecting funds to the Zolgan empire. The Captain feels a "strange connection" to Zolgo and essentially believes that they are in love

Flash retires to his personal quarters and considers how much money he could sell he and Vi's rare fish for, in order to accomodate the Captain's sudden wishes for additional funds, but Vi walks in and the two have a tense conversation about what he was doing

Zolgo and Vi meet up coincidentally while they are working out in the gym, and Vi tries to wrestle with her suspicions that the alien ambassador might be behind some recent thefts (especially as this scene establishes their culture as being largely wealth-centric, in comparison to Vi’s culture which values physical performance and honour) but also wonders if maybe she’s just alien racist Zolgo is using the monkey bars under 12x gravity. Zolgo tries to probe Vi to find out where the crew keep the large stores of treasure they surely have, but Vi lies and says that it is kept in the Captain’s Office (while there actually isn’t any treasure at all) in hopes of tricking Zolgo into doing something obviously untoward.

We flash forward to Vi and Flash out on a mission (on a planet which looks suspiciously like a quarry in Wales) to track down information about a galactic fugitive known as “Onyxfinger”. Vi uses the opportunity for privacy to take Flash aside and try to ask if Flash agrees that Zolgo is supicious, but Flash believes that Vi is trying to manipulate him into making false accusations against the important diplomat so that Vi will replace the Captain when they convince the Captain to take a health break (she is complaining of regular headaches, induced by the mind-linking device)

also two redshirts die in the background while they’re talking

Flash meets up with Zolgo in the space bar (its spherical and has no gravity, run by a startender (star bartender) who is also spherical) where it is established that the ship is called the SES Cool Tapes, because all Sunfleet vessels are named by public poll and they tend to give frivolous answers Flash manages to offend Zolgo multiple times as he attempts to cozy up to Zolgo so that he can take over the captain’s diplomatic job later, but repairs relations by showing off his valuable fish and thus establishing himself as someone with wealth and power They establish a relationship, and Flash hints that if he had more power over the funding he might be able to set up a breeding program for his valuable fish

The Captain starts to misinterpret Zolgo’s mental conditioning, and rather than desiring “more wealth, for the Zolgans” begins desiring “more Zolgan wealth, for me, the captain”, and propositions that Zolgo and Flash both go on an expedition back to Zolgan space (which they only left about a week ago) to bring back some Zolgan wealth in order to improve the standing of the ship. Flash’s reluctance to leave the ship (and thus have less chance of becoming Captain) only earns suspicion from the increasingly paranoid Captain.

Zolgo and Flash, now on board one of the ship’s smaller landing vessels (The Runaway) alongside two disposable ensigns, decide to ignore their orders and divert course to return to the planet of the fugitive Onyxfinger, on account of the fact that Flash is an abysmal diplomat who is constantly offending Zolgan customs and that Onyxfinger has a valuable item (his Onyx Finger) which Zolgo wants, ostensibly as a bargaining chip with the Zolgans but actually because they just want it

The tilt introduces “A stupid plan, executed flawlessly”, and “A fantastic chase”

Vi and the Captain reconvene on the bridge, and oddly with Zolgo off the ship the Captain is feeling somewhat clearer of head. Vi is concerned with the direction they are heading and would rather continue to pursue their original mission with Onyxfinger, and the Captain reluctantly agrees (though takes rapid offence at Vi’s implication that her headaches began at the same moment that the Zolgan contingent arrives, because she still believes that they are a flawless people). The scene ends as they discover that The Runaway has diverted course back to Onyxfinger’s planet already.

Zolgo and Flash create a cunning plan mid-firefight, in which Zolgo will pretend to sell Flash to Onyxfinger as leverage and then they will use this opportunity to steal what they can and get out of there (Flash being more of an action hero kind of First Officer than one with particular dedication to Sunfleet’s diplomatic values), meanwhile both of their ensigns are disintegrated

We flash forward to Vi and the Captain, who have also landed on the planet, in negotiation with the criminal Onyxfinger, who claims that he only raids nearby space traffic because his quarry planet has little arable land and they have nothing to eat, his species’ intimidating look (with 12 mouths and 8 sets of barbed mandibles per mouth) makes people unwilling to deal with them, and besides they have little to trade except rocks. Stealing from nearby ships (mostly Zolgan) allows them to trade with the Zolgan empire for food in order to survive. This convinces Vi that they should show leniency, but the Captain is driven into a frenzy by the fact that Onyxfinger is badmouthing the Zolgans (with whom she has become re-infatuated, now that she is on the same planet as Zolgo again) and the scene ends as she pulls out a gun and shoots someone.

We flash backwards for a dream that the Captain had while napping off a headache in the SES Cool Tape’s second lander (the Starseeker) where she dreams about having a romantic dinner with Zolgo. During this conversation Zolgo is introduced to the concept of ice cream, and we learn that Zolgo is only a larval form and that when they reach full adulthood they will look... mostly the same, but 1/3rd the size (the size of a real life furby). Zolgo finds it strange that humans actually get larger as they age, rather than smaller. The intention of this dream from Zolgo’s side is to instil in the Captain a sense that she should sacrifice herself for the Zolgan people (to make way for Flash, who is helping Zolgo more efficiently), and the dream ends as a gunman tries to shoot Zolgo, the Captain jumps in the way, and Zolgo reassures her as she dies (and the gunman dies of sudden cardiac arrest) that she made the right decision, leading to her frantic behaviour in the previous scene.

Vi and the Captain are in a frantic battle with Onyxfinger’s forces, as Vi fights with three swords (one in her tail) and tries to persuade Onyxfinger that they can still end this peacefully. Onyxfinger retorts that the Captain opened fire, and that he will happily negotiate in peace if only Vi shoots the Captain first. Vi cannot bring herself to do it and is gravely wounded by Onyxfinger, but Captain Neuro uses this opportunity to fatally shoot him, and due to Vi’s hesitation is now entirely trusting of her. The Captain drags Vi to the Starseeker, from which they see the Runaway already taking off back towards the SES Cool Tapes.

We flash backwards a little more to Zolgo and Flash also negotiating with Onyxfinger, but more successfully. Zolgo manages to convince Onyxfinger that having Flash will allow Onyxfinger to negotiate with Sunfleet for food, in exchange for stopping his raids on the Zolgans, which makes everyone happy. All that Onyxfinger has to do is help Zolgo replace Captain Neuro with Flash so that he can speak in Onyxfinger’s favour with Sunfleet, meaning that in the previous scene Onyxfinger was never negotiating in good faith and simply wanted Vi to shoot Captain Neuro so that Flash could become Captain in her place.

Now begins a chase to see who makes it back to the SES Cool Tapes first, with one ship containing Vi and Captain Neuro, while the other contains Zolgo, Flash, and a lot of treasure “liberated” from Onyxfinger. None of the other crew who accompanied either team survived, apart from Cyber-Worf, an android who is the only competent member of the bridge team and whose engineering work allows the Starseeker to keep pace even though the Runaway had a pretty big head start.

Unfortunately, Zolgo and Flash are the first to reach the mothership, and Flash announces over the ship communicator that Captain Neuro has executed someone without trial in clear breach of Sunfleet protocol and as a result, that he is taking command of the ship until an inquest can be performed into Neuro’s erratic behaviour.

While moving into his new office (and replacing the captain’s fish tank with his own), Flash finds Zolgo rooting around looking for the treasure that Vi promised would be in there but which obviously doesn’t actually exist. While trying to find out where the treasure actually is, Zolgo learns that there isn’t any, but also that Flash plans to just leave the treasure they took from Onyxfinger locked up in the Runaway, with the reasoning that “it’s pretty well locked up and barely anyone knows how to fly that thing anyway”.

Then it’s time for conclusions!

Chief Vi Quartro got a Black 9 (”Nothing to write home about”) Flash Branson got a White 8 (”Nothing to crow about”) Captain Neuro got a Black 2 (”Brutal”) Zolgo got a White 11 (”Pretty good”)

Chief Quartro spends some time recovering from her wounds in the med-bay, and is promoted to acting first officer by acting captain Flash, but finds herself wondering what would have gone differently if she had just shot the Captain herself. Eventually she requests transfer to a new ship, and aboard the SES Wyldstyle finds herself once again entangled with the machinations of the Zolgan empire. This time, if the situation comes up, she’s ready to kill her boss.

Flash Branson spends some time luxuriating in his new role of Captain, but is unable to enjoy it for too long as eventually Sunfleet bureaucracy catches up and he must return to his old role in favour of a new Captain, fresh-faced and straight out of the academy. He spends his last moments in the camera staring into his fish tank and musing about how he can possibly manage this a second time.

Zolgo absconds with all of the treasure in the Runaway, but the ship is blasted by gunfire and most of the loot is lost before they can make it back to Zolgan space. Nevertheless, they arrive in the capital with the Onyx Finger and also the new concept of “ice cream”, upon which they become powerful and important. Eventually Zolgo is reassigned as diplomat to another species (the same species as Vi Quartro) and lives to an old age there. The last shot of Zolgo is set far in the future, where they are now the size of your average Furby, and are sending back new culinary discoveries from the planet of Vi’s people to the Zolgan empire.

Captain Neuro is fired from Sunfleet and her life collapses entirely. She drinks and sleeps and does little else, apart from scratch the itch from the Zolgan earpiece she is still wearing. The visions she is receiving grow stronger and stronger and eventually she finds herself living entirely through Zolgo and experiencing their life instead of her own. Unfortunately, Zolgo’s feelings of achievement and satisfaction are not mirrored across their link, and Neuro is left alone and bereft.

We had a good time! I would do it again, maybe at Christmas.

#Fiasco

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