#WHY DIDNT I STUDY STEM

[shyranno]

Star Trek makes me wish I studied STEM yo

#star trek #star trek lower decks #lower decks #ensign tendi #d'vana tendi #ensign rutherford #sam ruth #I LOVE THEM #I WANNA BE THEM #WHY DIDNT I STUDY STEM #t'lyn

[ikeasharksss]

1 final down. 4 to go

#it went well!! it was for stagecraft #i studied a lot but also started late but the study guide the prof gave me was Literally The Test. like some questjons were changed bc the #class didnt understand them on review day but other than that The Study Guide Was The Test #there was 1 question that i just couldnt fucking answer tho so rip me #then i got a churro waffle from a truck on campus that was lit #art history final tomorrow!!! the honors lounge will be giving out hot chocolate so mb i'll snag some of that #n e way niamh marie updates #why did i take all my stem gen eds in 1 sem im so stupid #its ok tho next sem im taking my last gen ed (that i can only take spring sem of my soph year) & then a bunch of classes im super excited #for!!! yayyyyy #ok NOW thats it for niamh marie updatss

[spirit-lanterns]

big hat big cock, ill draw it asap 😋

but i feel you 😭 finals week is killing me too WHY DO I HAVE TO MAKE AN APP I DIDNT CHOOSE THIS- *explodes*

if only jade were here i wouldnt have to study useless things just get money from mommy and be happy 😞 live laugh get fucked by jade 🙏

If Jade existed I wouldn’t be a woman in STEM in debt, while trying to study for a degree I don’t even WANT 😭

I could just be Jade’s cute lil cockwarmer/sugar baby and live lavishly in her mansion and 10 cars complete with a giant outdoor pool, tennis court, indoor movie theater, and all I have to do is sit on her dick while making out with her sloppy style in her lap.

I DONT LIKE SCHOOL ANYMORE NOW IM PAYING FOR MISERY. Jadeeeeeee can you get me out of here pls?? I offer you my pussy and my ability to look cute while doing nothing 👉👈

#🕯️spirit box

[maribeilschmidt]

tercermundista argentlaia au

below the argentina tercer mundo au

Edit because i got more ideas and mai friend say I should stop thinking in spanish that im not making italy drunken if not almost dead

he goes to a public argentina school (in the interior of Argentina to make it worse 😊😊) Thats why he use that ugly uniform, ARE WE MAIDS OR SERVANTS OR WHATEVER, LITTERALY ALL PUBLIC UNIFORMS LOOKS LIKE THAT

He wanted to choose arts or social studies as a modality in 8th grade but he didnt pass all the assignments and there were no vacancies in arts n social studies, so he had to chose natural sciences/stem with the nerds (Germany n japan)

He almost had to repeat the year, but Germany taught him EVERYTHING by February, but the stupif idiot failed PE and he has to re-take the exam in June

On the first day (aka UPD in arg) of his senior year he got like 2 liters of alcohol on his blood, but he went to school to attend to see Germany and Japan as flag bearers

He will go drunken and say stupid things all day with Germany just wanting to shut up, prob fell asleep at last course and Germanay will take his home

If germany and italy were dating at that time that night italy would have cheated on him like more than 6 TIMES

Also his BRC would say he doesnt care abt cheating in Bariloche lmao

He wears pajamas and wears Crocs in the summer, it's surprising that no one has told him anything about his clothing

IN THE 7TH GRADE THEIR CLASS ANTHEM WAS THE MAROLIO COMMERCIAL, AND THEY SANG IT AT RECESS

Plz Germany wanted to go to a boys polytechnic school but They thought he would end up gay and there was no money so they sent him to a public school

#hetalia #draws #mariabcdraws #aph #itager #aph italy #aph germany #arjenteena au #argentalia

[good-beanswrites]

Can I request "this didnt turn out like I intended" with shidou, es, and amane?

Aw yeah!! Thank you so much for the request -- I ended up giving the line to Es but honestly all three of them could have said it, it was perfect 👀 I pictured this before the T2 interrogations, with Es being fairly quiet about their guilt towards everything that happened. Though Shidou appears a bit less, I hope I could convey that he and Es share a lot of thoughts, interestingly.

Es would never get accustomed to the screaming. 

They’d heard a few anguished cries from the prisoner’s videos. They’d gotten a few agitated shouts when the first trial verdicts were announced. But nothing could have prepared them for the way the prison halls echoed now. Whether the prisoners poured out their sorrows, anguish, or agony at recent injuries, Es didn’t think they needed Milgram’s power to hear the true sounds of their heart. 

Es wished they’d just stop already. They knew it was selfish to hope for. They knew it stemmed from their own guilt. That didn’t make them wish for it any less.

The current bout of cries was coming from Shidou’s cell. Es had paused just before passing, trying to bury a wince as they listened to Fuuta struggle with treatment.

Amane approached from the other side. She glared at the cell, though Es knew it wasn’t the screaming that was bothering her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but they said in a hushed voice, “hey, I don’t need you giving Shidou any trouble. I know you disapprove, but I stand by this. I’m the one who told Shidou to check on Fuuta and Mahiru. I’m going to make sure they’re cared for.”

Amane studied them with her bright, unsettling gaze. “Why?” Her voice came out as strangely even as always. She was one of the few Es hadn’t heard any kind of shout from. “If something is destined to happen, who are you to change its course? Do you really believe you are the same as God, having that much control over the lives of others?”

“Not at all.” Es didn’t fight her. They weren’t here to change her heart, only read it. Still, they wondered if they could convince her to soften a bit without denouncing her beliefs. “The thing is, I’m not affecting their fate.”

“Then what do you call this?”

“Putting things back the way they should be.”

Es had tried to stand by their actions. They’d put on a tough face in front of the injured prisoners. They could not show weakness. As their warden, they couldn’t show any uncertainty, whatsoever. After all, the only thing worse than nearly getting killed was finding out you nearly got killed because of a child’s mistake. So they would keep this act up. They would assure everyone that this was still going according to plan. 

The way Amane looked at them, she already knew it wasn’t.

So, they figured it wouldn’t hurt to speak a little more openly now. Maybe it would even help explain Amane’s verdict. That certainly hadn’t gone as planned, either. “I wrongfully changed their lives when I let them get hurt. I saw that Kotoko had the capability for something like this, and I ignored it in the name of forgiveness. Now I need to fix the harm I’ve caused.”

“You haven’t caused any harm.”

Fuuta howled from inside.

Amane turned her gaze away. “That was still an outside force. You had no control over Kotoko’s actions. You and Shidou have control now.”

“I did have control over Kotoko, though. I knew my choices would have consequences. This is my fault.”

It felt good to say it out loud. Maybe not 'good.' It was a relief.

“And if I may venture to speak for Shidou…” That man was a mystery, but Es had put a few pieces together, at least. “It seems… he also took some lives off of their intended course. This is his way of fixing that. Right now, this is all we can do to make up for our decisions of the past. Isn’t that acceptable?”

She went to answer, but some shuffling from the cell cut her off. Shidou emerged, his expression changing ever so slightly upon finding the two just outside. Fuuta scowled on his way out, but said nothing. 

As the pair stood face to face, Amane’s eyes lit with fiery fury. Shidou met her with a harsh coldness.

“I wasn’t expecting you two,” he said simply. He was one of the others Es had yet to hear with a raised voice. Their two quietest prisoners, locked in such an intense struggle. That had certainly been an unexpected turn. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” Es lied. “We just stopped to talk for a moment.”

“Oh? What about?” Shidou folded his hands together. His gloves were covered in blood, they noticed. 

“Just that… this…” they waved a gloved hand in a general gesture, “didn’t work out as I intended.”

Shidou offered them a smile. It was one without any warmth, but that didn’t make it any less genuine.

“Mmm. It never does.”

#milgram #es #amane momose #shidou kirisaki #im very curious about the specifics of amanes beliefs and i genuinely wonder if she would see this framing of the events #i know es is pretty honest with fuuta in his vd about how this isnt what they wanted -so i set this before all that #as much as they bicker with amane about ages i think theyd subconsciously be drawn to the only other person near their age #and be ready to trust her with their secret doubts #especially after Magic -- es would think amane will understand what it means to make a mistake and want to fix it #they seemed to take her beliefs seriously in the vd (pushing back against them but still not trying to up and convert her in a day) #shidou is caught in a weird place because he both wants to atone for the lives he took by saving new ones #and also if asked he'd argue that you dont need to be atoning in order to intervene and offer help #thank you so much for the request! #id originally written a drabble about es stopping an argument between shidou and amane but they really are the quietest/most collected ones #plus physical fights are currently prohibited so i couldnt include action if i wanted #so it was just a super boring conversation asdfasd #doing it like this let me get a bit deeper into Es' guilt/perspective so i was really glad with the switch 👍 i hope you enjoyed! #drabbles

[sarioh]

Hello Tumblr user Rio Sarioh! If you're bored; do you have a favourite book you like to talk about? What is it about, why do you like it? Or perhaps a movie or show of which you enjoy the writing? A fairytale? A poem?

Wow, creative writing. Any thoughts on that? Pretty swell, in my opinion.

Hope you have a nice vague nine hour time window and that your thing arrives in good condition!

HEY tumblr user tt04sty hope u r doing well and thank you for the ask. also my Thing has indeed arrived in good condition so thank god i didnt have to wait all day for it. to be frank questions about my favorite media make me feel like a deer in headlights bc for whatever reason whenever i get asked this i somehow forget every piece of media i've ever consumed or that has had an impact on me in any way and i don't know why. safe answer though is probably everything everywhere all at once which i know might come as an absolute shock to everyone (<- wrote a 16k word fic inspired by it) but generally just any media that is very Wacky and Surreal visual-wise but with a central theme of love and connection gets me really bad because i am very predictable and also a little pathetic. also as a gay asian living in the west with a very stereotypical asian mother you can probably understand why the movie had such an impact on me LOL.

also creative writing... i've only done one work of creative writing in the past few years and that was wind back the clock which i think about genuinely all the time. writing Character Study is the most cathartic and fun experience in the world to me and i prolonged publishing that for SO long because i just wanted to keep working on it forever. my writer's problem is that it takes me about 60 years to come up with an idea that i am captivated enough by to be able to put it into writing and actually stick to it for more than a day and that has only happened one single time in my 2 years in mcytblr. but by god i would kill a whole man to be able to do that all over again because i am regrettably a stem major and have not written an essay or anything else creative in years and while im enjoying it i do feel like im missing out on a crucial part of being a Person. i miss writing so much you have no idea. and i feel like the further i go into this Degree the more my Meta Analysis brain starts to rot and get replaced by Numbers and Formulas and Snippets of code. i'm losing my touch forreal

as far as other media goes... to be perfectly honest i have not been consuming much lately just because i have been very busy irl but i did just finish reading the red rising trilogy for the first time which was cool... also have probably watched about 200 hours of animal documentaries over the past few months LOL. actually on the topic of books i am going on a flight soon and will have a 9 hour stopover so if anyone has any book recommendations of ANY genre i would love to hear them. please tell me all of your favorite books i want to read them all

#this is kinda long sorry i sorta rambled. #really have Not watched as much stuff as i wouldve liked recently #other media that has changed me as a person that ive consumed semi recently... maybe disco elysium?? succession?? #also tft. i cannot lie i have been playing an ungodly amt of tft. its really shameful #thank you for the ask though!!!!!! i feel like i didnt really answer ur question but yeah . sorry about that LOL

[yomiurinikei]

You know which character I want to send for meme but yeah it is obvious can I get Kinji in that meme template?

ah yes, so obvious, we all know ur favorite character is kinji hakar1 (dont wanna invade tags akdsjksd), who everyone associates u with, and totally isn't just the first fictional kinji that popped up when i googled the name.

my identity hc for them

GAY gay homosexual gay. sorry kiyoka calling him out just. i cant view him as anything else. i do think there's canonical backing for this, not specifically him being exclusively into guys, but for him liking guys in general, i think its canon supported. i also Just Like it.

i think he's like. amab, but i think he just doesnt really Get It/feel any particular way- he's comfortable with how he presents and is perceived the way he is, and doesn't really feel a desire to change! he's content, and i don't think he'd be any happier if he changed how he performs gender. and seeing as i want this boy to do some soul searching and examine his relationship with faith, ill let him have a constant in his life. just this once

Thoughts on their home life/family

aaaaa.... i think like. mentioned this in the hcs i wrote for him recently, but i think his dad (the bishop) was a genuinely good person, and a good dad! i just think like..... it would've been cool if after being adopted and coming to italy, he had more than one role model and like. god. i dunno i think that mayyyybe having the person who chose him, who chose to take care of him, be a well-respected bishop who wound up living a secular life and etc etc mightve maybe impacted kinjis path in life. i don't think he was forced into anything, but i do wonder the degree to which kinjis faith started as a way of feeling connected to his dad and feeling that he was part of a community.

anyways though. i think he was a happy child, well cared for, etc. but i feel like maybe someone should have forced him to go outside and make friends, or stopped to question why he might be throwing himself into religious studies so much, or, after all that. maybe. i dont know. NOT SENT HIM TO JAPAN BY HIMSELF AS A MIDDLE SCHOOLER? ??????

its kinda a miracle hes as stable as he is. and while i don't think he's... literally traumatized, i feel like there was some side effects of his childhood past "oh he doesn't Understand friends". honestly a vv interesting example of how childhood and environment shapes people.

anyways though. i wouldn't be surprised if his focus on orphanages/caring for kids stemmed from him being a like... pre-teen/younger, and his brain just naturally orienting towards "wanna be with peers, wanna play, wanna form social bonds", but he had already placed himself in the role of an adult, and so he took on the same place as the priests he was trying to emulate. its kinda silly why did literally everyone go like. well if everyone else is treating him as an adult i guess i will too... kinji is the poster child for "was called mature as a kid"

How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

mmm... its objectively Good. i just feel like.... kinji kinda falls into the issue of so many characters to explore, so little time? like. we don't really get to see a whole lot of the depth that i see (linuj may not get him the way i do), and it makes sense, but it still kinda sucks... it'd be nice if he survived and made it to the end (and then held hands with tsurugi i mean-) buuut. i understand why he didn't. :(

tho one thing i wanna note is. linuj originally intended for his ch3 meltdown to be his true personality of sorts. and was gonna have his motivation just be that he liked murder. and he acknowledges that how he acts in ch3 isn't kinjis normal personality, and that he likes having a actual motive better than his old plan for kinji. but i feeeel like linujs old plan kinda pokes through at times with how kinji is handled? specifically like.. tsurugis response of "woah i didnt know a priest would act like that"- tbf, that does reflect on tsurugis black and white thinking and how he struggles to remedy his values. but also it just kinda feels like linuj is still treating it as a shock value twist that kinji is Just Like That, despite textually saying otherwise. that kinda sucks

The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

im not fucking joking im trying to think of something else. i would like canon gay kinji. again we have NO TIME FOR THIS. but if he had survived, i think that could be something nice to write in + subtextually show. i wont ask for the complete and utter tone shifts that would have to happen for more than subtext to be real. but. i think it'd be a good thing to do w/kinji if he had more time with us.

also i think it'd be neat to hear more about kinjis bio parents, just because im curious? but ya know. i kinda dont trust linuj and can just be weird about why he still uses uehara as his family name in my head, and have that be canon to me, instead of having to ignore linuj, so.. im content

My number one favorite ship for them

tsuhara. nobody look at me.... i promise i will post my thoughts on them one day. currently im trying to handle all myyy.. non-spring quarter graduation requirements (aka, some stuff my hs wants me to get done other than the classes im taking this quarter), so thats kinda my goal for april. and then may will have midterms and then ill be working on finals ughhhh... so im not really dedicating time to it. but its like... the only canon sdra fan content im working on rn? its. its in the works and its on my schedule and it wont take long. its just a matter of when i can get around to it, so i wanna explain why im not prioritizing it akjdjskjdjsdk.

anyways. im so not normal about them and ive been not normal about them for the past ninety three years. my beloved boys with their moral beliefs and their systems of justifying their actions and and and. aaaaaa.....

…Now everyone else i ship with them

uhhhhhhm. i think his ftes were cute? hm. i think there's stuff i objectively like, like... i think it'd be nice for him and would be cute. but there's nothing im really Passionate about/see myself spinning around in my head. for ex like.. i go out of my way to think about tsuhara. theyre just in my brain sometimes. but whereas like... i was uekoba posting a few days back- that was vv nice and fun! but i wouldnt have really talked about my thoughts on kinji and haru if it wasn't for outside prompting, if that makes sense.

u all will never escape my tsuhara posting. kinji canonically got tsurugi to change both in and out of the killing game. he is the one who looked at tsurugi and did not think "oh i can fix him" but simply by existing!! fixed him!!!! aaaaa!!!!! aaaaa.

The thing i will NEVER ship

hm. hmmm. i think ive chatted about them before. ive indulged. but im honestly not a huge fan of kakeru/kinji/kanata? it feels v much so to me like.. just pairing off whoevers there. i could get behind kakeru/kinji if i saw a good argument for it. i think they could be fun i a "everything goes wrong" (aka, every murder plot fails) au, but like. yeah. and then with kanata and kinji. i just dont see the vision

also i did not want to say it. but uehiga because i dont. get. it..... this delves more into mitch's writing and i dont want to talk about him on kinjis ask. but i do not understand it. it feels to me just like when people were shipping mitch and haru but repackaged. im never going to see the vision of mitch getting fixed by his having a crush on one of his male classmates.

a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

kinda stems from beta. but i think he and mikako could be fun. spiritual buddies!!!! it could be a nice learning experience for them both. also maybe the gamblers ornament crew? that could be fun thats a friendly group of people (and also utsuro is there too/j). i just want kinji to have friends man.

thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

mmm.. something about it is off. i dont know. it could be the linework the silhouette i dont. knowww? it just. feels blocky or bulky or something. its plain but it works for a priest and it makes sense. i like his hair color and eye color and etc etc theres just Something about his design that feels off to me if i look at it for too long

also. i dont think this is a issue anymore? but he wears a stole. thats what he's wearing. its not a scarf. (also. i still want to tie it into a bow.)

A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

not even gonna lie i thought i had some sort of song on one of my spotify playlists that would work. wtf.

hmmmm. mercy, by sir chloe, kinda gives me like. kinji ch3 vibes. not really though why is this so evil. every song i see just winds up making me think of a different character.

okay. ive just been sitting down working on this post since i posted the rei one tbh. so. i think that no matter where u hc kinji ends up after evaluating his relationship with faith (personally i think his beliefs stay the same, he never really looses her faith, moreso what changes is his relationship with the church), he likes hearing hymns. i think harmonies and 'pretty' voices is just something he'll always appreciate in music.

#dra #kinji uehara #yomis ask meme #mitsuhiro higa #tw: religion #tw: christianity

[theladyinwhite13]

dear diary,

today i woke up and made myself some coffee (the one i brewed last night remember?) when i realized that id ran out of almond milk so i thought why not whole? ill tell you why not, i am (just a little) lactose intolerant, so my stomach hurt all morning, then i realized i forgot my lunch:) so i get to school and my friend walks out and im like oh she went to the restroom or something and then i remembered we had the preschool stem stuff and she didnt say anything!!! so i run and they almost left without me!!! (she said she was texting me but idk i dont have any messages from her), so i get on the bus and the kids are really sweet and we made a balloon powered little car and one girl who went (dif from the ones from last month cause they all had exams, actually i almost didnt go cause i had exams but today i didnt yay) turned out to be a swiftie and went to the exact same show as me and we traded bracelets it was really nice and then we convinced our (he's not a teacher i dont know what he is, he's just john i guess) john to take us to starbuckssssssss and i got a matcha frapuccino (with soy milk!!) and it was really good and now i have to study for my socio-economics exam tomorrow

anyways i love you

my phone doesn’t even notify me when I get texts, and then people get made at me cause I’m not texting back but like I never saw the text! it’s not my fault!! what is it about you that just attracts other swifties where ever you go? like how do they know? also every time you mention matcha I think I should go make one and then I never actually do

I’m sending you so much luck, cause socioeconomics is actual hell <3

#I love being your diary btw

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

I say this as someone that thought the finale was a 7/10 at best, like the confrontation was ok imo and made sense with the characters BUT i just rewatched so much lore and let me tell you there are so many times where c!dream encouraged c!tommy to cause chaos and destruction. Im not sure if he did this to get c!tommy in danger or not, but there are times early on when c!ponk c!tommy fight and c!dream encourages c!tommy to chase down c!ponk saying "carry on"

Theres a time where c!jack doesnt crouch back at c!tommy and c!dream syas "ok il kill him" another time where c!purpled scams c!tommy so c!dream wants to go and grief and steal from him and encourages c!tommy to do the same. Im not ruling out the idea that this was ooc and jsust mcuking around as ccs but i think it rlly makes sense in the lore too with c!dreams motivations. And perhaps the reason why he chose the revival book over c!tommy in pogtopia arc was 1-he saw c!tommys friendship offer as ingenuine and was annoyed with him he believed c!tommy would cross him. 2- ends justify the means, he striked later in exile. 3- it would mean c!dream woudl have to help pogtopia which he didnt want too (as now having the book). But the exchanges where he is nice to c!tommy and encourages him to be chaotic, a lot of them happen after this pogtopia war so he tries to build that bond again only to suddenly start burning eveyrthing and balmign c!tommy which then shows that he rlly did want everyone agaisnt c!tommy, enough to get him exiled. (We all know exile was what c!dream planned, the whispers of ":)" were all to provoke) Now, one could suggest that the bonding prior to exile was all some trick maybe out of revenge or for fun, but i think that it did stem from c!dreams lonliness and he rlly did see c!tommy as the key to unifying the server (whilst also seeing him as someone that destroyed it) somehow both these ideas allign in his mind.

I also feel like in prison arc when he said "We can be immortal together" C!dream did that to torment c!tommy but also did that out of geneuine interest, a big part of him wanted to study the revival book with him and be immortal with him. What do u think?

Yeah, c!Dream's feelings on c!Tommy are… erratic. I don’t think he ever hated him (because he needs c!Tommy to exist as the scapegoat in his worldview, and if he hated him that’d mean he'd have to confront it the second he got rid of him) but he views him as basically the cause for EVERYTHING on the server, good or ill. It’s part of him in general just seeing everything he wants to accomplish as one big thing- bringing peace to the server is the same as getting his friends back is the same as control over c!Tommy. This is also why he can insist he’s not thinking about c!Tommy while planning something that only matters bc of c!Tommy with being mad at c!Wilbur.

A lot of the reason c!Dream isolates c!Tommy, I think, is because of that power he’s assigned to him. Which, logically, c!Tommy completely lacks. He's basically a normal kid, and even if you count him as VP (a role he TRIED to step down from) that was more of a ceremonial title than anything. But because c!Tommy IS the server and IS not being alone, that means in c!Dream's head he's the most dangerous person on the server. And that power is something he wanted for himself.

With c!Dream being confirmed out of universe to have been wanting to make c!Tommy an ally, repeatedly threatening to make him immortal For him, and him offering to spare the lives of people who agreed to his plan that is most likely made up (and therefore, he was making that offer Only to c!clingy), I think it’s pretty much confirmed that he wanted c!Tommy involved in the immortality experiments, yeah. I think, in a fucked up way, he genuinely cares for c!Tommy. It’s just his view on friendship is that if you’re not unconditionally devoted to him and have your life 100% revolving around his, you’ve betrayed him. If exile went his way, he'd have made c!Tommy into basically his own definition of the perfect friend.

Personally, I don’t think I can give the finale a score out of ten it’s almost hilariously erratic in quality in my opinion.

#Dream smp #primeboys (derogatory)

[musherum]

9 23 40 41 43

• 9 - which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

generally i prefer hot coffee. while iced coffee is really great for a warm day, it does lack a certain something for me. so unless its absolutely sweltering out and i would die of heatstroke, ill generally opt for hot

• 23 - how do you feel about chilly weather?

i dont always love it, but at least i am consistently prepared to dress for it, unlike with hot weather - i swear, a solid half of my whole wardrobe is just sweaters. i need some better boots for the coming cooler weather, though, and i still dont have a winter coat that actually looks good on me. i dont really have any coats or jackets that look good on me - and i dont own a raincoat at all :(

• 40 - did you have any snacks today?

no, not really. i havent eaten yet today, its still pretty early. i might munch on some cashews though. thats been my go-to sort-of-almost-sweet snack recently. its probably healthier than eating a granola bar whenever i feel snackish. though cashews are pretty expensive :(

• 41 - how do you take your coffee?

for hot coffee, generally i add cream, no sugar. but iced coffee i generally prefer to be quite sweet, so i add sugar and cream then - a pretty good amount of each.

when i was younger, in middle school and early high school, i used to take my coffee black, but that was mostly to impress people, i didnt really like it that way. later, i started adding in a lot of sugar, but the cloying sweetness kind of made the underlying bitterness hit harder for me, and made me gag.

when i was part of a GED study group, several years ago at this point, they always had coffee on, and thats when i started taking it with no sugar and just a little cream - the cream helped it go down smoother, i found, and made the bitterness easier to manage. i think my reason for not adding sugar at the time, though, was that i didnt want to dirty a spoon, mixing all the sugar into my drink - i didnt want to inconvenience the tutor by making him wash an extra spoon. its pretty silly, in retrospect - he still had to wash the cup i used, after all.

i kinda miss that study group. i wish i visited them again, after i got all my tests done. it was filled with a lotta old folks, and i worry some of them might be dead by now :(

i also like to just plop the cream in and leave it to defuse through the coffee, without mixing it. it doesnt have any effect on the taste, but i get to watch the dairy swirling and dancing in little eddys, as the motion of the hot liquid rising, cooling and falling in the cup slowly disperses it. its very pretty. once again, i think this stems from me not wanting to dirty an extra spoon :P

• 43 - what’s your take on spicy foods?

if its not spicy, then why would i eat it??? i like spicy food a lot. i wish everything could be spicy.

thank you for your questions :)

[gailhai1storm]

Ok so i want to take a look at the idea of "earning a living”.

first of all its a fucked up concept in and of itself, the idea that you only deserve to live baced off of the work you do, its fucked up.

but what fasinates and horrifies me about it is that I am willing to stake money on that I know ere historically the idea can be traced.

this is going to be long so I'm going to put a keep reading thing here

Im going to start with feudalism.

In a feudal system you work to make food to provide food for the people who are meant to protect you, the nights.

thats how its ment to work.

but it didnt really, well it did for a bit and then broke down, as does any system. In actual feudalism you were still paying the nights for protection via your harvest but not protection from outside forces or powers but protection from the nights themselves.

if you give us food we wont kill you.

the peasants were held at gunpoint to a deal that only hurt them.

so quite literally your wages, your production were your earn your living you worked inorder to not be killed.

now feudalism came to an end (slowly and there is more to it ill go into at a later date) but mercantilism took its place, especially in northern Europe and England.

Now im the most formiliar witht his transition as it took place in England because that's what I've been specifically studying for a hot minute. So we will use that as our case study.

In England there is a shift away from feudalism, this happens in large part because agricultural techniques improved and less people were needed in the feilds.

This decrease in need for labor in rural areas drives many many people to flood to the cities. These people in the cities are poor. Very poor.

So there is a mass flood of impoverished people who have no experience withworking in an urban environment, and there aren't jobs for them, and suddenly everyone has to see the poor people.

So how do the nobility and middle class cope? How do they justify this disparity?

Well you tell the same lie people tell themself now.

If you work hard and you "pull yourself up by your boot straps" you will “earn your living”.

Youll even be wealthy, so clearly these people who are destitute and have been forced off their land, by the same people who have been holding them at gunpoint for generations, who would not in a million years have chosen to be poor or destitute. They must be choosing it, they must be imoral, must be slothful, because why do you deserve to be comfortable and these people don't if they are working hard.

Now we are a deeply religiouse society, and immorality is obviously bad, so you want these people to work, because as a government you have to do something about it. Now you have to do something about it so you set up housing and governmental programs to help these people who are suffering.

But now the idea that these people not working has been ingrained as bad and immoral, so you make workhouses.

You make houses where the people work till they are raw, work sometimes till they die. You make houses were the poor must work, to stop being immoral, to deserve a roof and a vile meal.

And you are desperate, cause you cant make money any where, there is no other work, because you are poor so no one will hire you, because you must be immoral.

So you turn to the workhouses and you “earn your living".

So ye, the idea that you have to work to live, it is a vile vile thing, that stems from vile systems.

It is an idea that stems from systems built on suffering.

Everyone deserves to live.

#idk if this makes sence #i might take it down and re post it edited but I need it out of my brain nd not in my drafts so here you go #universal basic income #fuck capitalism #mercantilism #feudalism #i have more to say #but basically just the history of the idea of working for your life its a really fucked up history #and i only know one tiny segment of it #god i have so much to say #gail hail speaks

[chrispychrisalis]

ageism and night thoughts

I realise now why I used to feel a sense of uneasiness when I first watched Bojack Horseman a few years back. I’ve finally watched more of the show than I did back then, but I always had this feeling when I watched a show with an older character who didnt seem to have their life together.

It was because I thought: “Why are they like this? They’re old, gritty, almost about to die yet they still act this way. Why are they so shitty even after their entire lives and what they’ve been through?”.

Bojack is a bad person, for sure, but why did he never ‘wake up’ from what he was doing and stared himself in the face? I felt that older people should be better, but whenever I saw these characters in their 50s, 60s, it seemed like they had so little time left to fix all their mistakes and make up to everyone in their lives. They have so little time to get back on the right track, back onto a standard career path that promises success and money. And I think I felt uneasy, because I never grew up with people like that around me. I’ve always been fed a dose of the prescribed Chinese success and pathways that seeing such flawed, seemingly unfixable characters made me feel a sense of unfamiliarity, uneasiness, and also the fear at the back of my mind where I ask myself: “Will I ever become like this? Where I hit an age where it feels like it doesn’t matter what I do anymore because I’ve had so many year behind me with mistakes piling on top of one another, so the remaining don’t actually matter in the grand scheme of things?”.

Another character I’ve thought about regarding this ‘getting old’ issue is Kiryu from Yakuza. I was so caught up in his age and the idea that he only got out of prison at 39 because I thought that he woukd have nothing else to live for in front of him. That he was now one old man with limited physical strength and everything he ever worked for is now gone, and he’s also broke. I didn’t like seeing such a likable character that way, and I think it also stems from an innate belief that getting older until a certain point equates to the inability to do anything substantial with your life. And I think that’s what also paralyses me to stay in a rational, practical course because if not now, then when? When will I be able to be in a position where the future seems so bright and the modules I study are so useful? I should just stick with status quo because its so promising, yet I don’t think about the boundless opportunities out there and other paths I can take if my passion can’t fuel me.

Yet I have also thought about alternative paths but I’ve never thought about them seriously. Because if I really want to switch my major now, I need to think about the backups I could possibly have in order to move forward if my degree can’t cut it. I never thought seriously about alternative paths because these thoughts only served as a comfort, like “if I end up doing real badly for this module and course then there’s other things I could do like being an influencer and I could also make big bucks in other ways”. It sort of serves as an escapism and also an attempt in taking the enormous weight of the impending doom of not doing well in my studies when all I pride myself in is being good at studying.

Then that begs the question, am I tying all my self-worth in my ability to do something that literally anyone with an ounce of diligence and or innate genius could do so easily? Why are my grades equal to me? But at the same time I just feel that I need to get good grades, because I need to stand out because I have nothing else going for me because who really cares about some 20 year old undergraduate who has shitty langauge skills and the hobby of crocheting and playing games? What worth do I have to the corporate out there other than me summarised in a piece of paper? What good am I out there?

Where do I really stand? 

This grade thing won’t change even if I switch majors. I know that I am just trying to escape the plight I put myself in, but even the major that I feel a semblance of passion in is considered useless because its not vocational.

Its important to think about the career paths out there but what if I dont know what career I want topursure and I just know Im interested in the topic and the research that goes into it?

Is it really wrong of me to want to spend my early 20s on something I like, rather than placing emphasis on the career pathways I will embark in in my late 20s? Career changes happen all the time and interests change, but my 4 years of studying and health are now. I’m just really stressed. 

To be honest, I just wish that I could be somebody that people can rely on and talk to about their feelings. Maybe I want to be a counsellor, but I haven’t even solved my own issues. But maybe this may lead me to a job I’m interested in. I hope so. Perhaps all I want is some sort of legacy and to be remembered. I want to put good out into the world rather than being some corporate slave doing international trading.

Welp good night.

[kirexa]

thinking abt miu like, I love her. I wish she had actual backstory and more people explored it. Sure shes into some more uncommon things looks at her 5th FTE but she had so much potential as a character and it feels like I'm the only one who cares sometimes. Uh. implied ndrv3 spoilers undercut i have alot to say about her

I have sold my soul to protag/antag ships however. she is cannonically in love with saihara and theres.. only 91 iruma/saihara fics on ao3. I want a miu character study i want to study her and I want a solid backstory. I dont ship it that much but I want it to be explored more and I'd read it because it would be so interesting. I want a longfic that expands on irumas backstory that the game just didnt give her. I should play summer camp to see if they expanded on it there, because as far as I know, we know nothing about her that we couldnt find out at the school. Where does her passion stem from? Why is she so vulgar? Why does she have such a thing for machines that let you do stuff in your sleep? Why did she want to escape so badly if her home wasnt even worth mentioning? ndrv3 lives rent free in my head

#ndrv3 rambles #ndrv3 spoilers #<- implied but still ther

[ekkurea]

(im the anon who sent the rendering ask and tips) AS SOMEOEN W STEM BACKGROUND WE’re always yk making things easier for us with ai.. im gonnaa divert a bit..i asked a professor (this was a neuroscience conference) why dont we perfect ai and develop a new artificial brain instead of studying the human brain… he had the most simple basic reply … why wouldnt you want to usee ai to understand yourbrain first… its a tool that can help us understand an actual brain why not use it there… i didnt really have an answer back then… but with your insight i resonate his answer w yours.. any other field ai is a helping hand and as much as i am against ai art … i see the potential it offers …. and obviously one needs to knoww their basics to use ai ot any tool !! and i just wanna say KUDOS FOR DOING IT :))) !! LITERALLY ALL SO MYCH LOVE FOR YOY!! GO YOU !!! 🫶

Hello! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ These are really important words for me. I needed to read them to make my heart feel better. I love your every word! ଘ(੭◌ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

And I was very interested when you said about the neuroscience lectures! Apart from the fact that I love to hear people talk about their fields of study, I am also interested in their perspective on my field (*^ω^)八(⌒▽⌒)八(-‿‿- )ヽ

Next, I want to share my thoughts on what drawing means to me and what I think is the value of drawings (and not only). Sorry, I'll share some new art soon. m(_ _)m

I'm not a fan of AI art either, but I don't devalue the work of AI artists either.

I really like the process of creating drawings(ღ˘⌣˘ღ) For me, it is not only therapy but also a way of preserving a piece of my soul in a drawing (or anything else "created by hand"). I keep drawings that may seem unsuccessful now. Because they reflect my view of the world at the time when I created them. Looking at them, I travel through the memories of my life. I think it's like a photograph. It stops time, conveys the focus, where the author's gaze was directed and shows what and how he sees. We can talk about this endlessly. 彡ﾟ◉ω◉ )つー☆* I'm one of those people who understand the popularity and value of Malevich's black square. (By the way, he is a Ukrainian artist. I say this because you might have heard a lie somewhere, if you know what I mean)

I also want to expand a bit on the topic of values that I emphasize in things. It's cool if they go hand in hand.

(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭̸*✧⁺˚ The first is the author. We can be supporters of a person, their life, their worldview... I'm ready to pay more if it's created by a person I'm interested in and like. This way I get a piece of him and support him. I think people who are fans of someone will understand me.

(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭̸*✧⁺˚ The second is the finished product. Recently, there were campaigns in my country and around the world about how artificial intelligence sees the exploitation of animals. It really doesn't matter to me that the machine created these images in a minute. The main thing is the benefit that came from it.

For example, another area is medicine. Doctors used to practice all their lives to move more and more perfectly during operations. And yet there is a level of precision that we will never be able to match. But a machine can do it. So why not let technology do it?

(((＞＜))) We are afraid of change. Artists, actors, construction workers, everyone is afraid of losing their jobs. I am too! But if it's not something that is aimed at destroying all life, then maybe it can help us on the contrary. We'll see where it takes us. And if it happens that no one wants my drawings at all, I know what I want to do with myself. This is about the fact that when people trusted progress, they found time and opportunities to improve other areas of life.

(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡ I would hold drawing lessons, creative evenings... Experience has shown that the Internet can provide a lot of knowledge, but live classes, the creative process, conversations, support, discussions are something that no machine can replace. And the way students and their parents call and write to me and say that they miss our classes warms my heart every time. I also miss this atmosphere.

(人´∀｀)．☆．。．:*･° And if you didn't know what to do in the evening, take it as a sign. Take pencils, paints, paper or anything else, turn on your favorite movie or music and create. Do what you want and what your heart tells you to do. Alone or with someone. Don't worry about being perfect and professional! No, that's not the point. Just have fun!

I will end. Haha!

I don't know how it happened, but sorry for the sea of text! m(_ _;m)三(m;_ _)m

I love you and thank you for supporting me! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) ☆

P.s. I also want to say that English is not my native language and I am very bad at it. So if I made a mistake somewhere and someone wants to correct me, no problem! I am happy to learn!

Also, let me know if it's boring, obvious, and not interesting to anyone. I will not be offended in any way! I'm just not going to talk about things that I wasn't even asked about and will leave these conversations for my friends. Haha.

#askekurea

[box-dwelling]

The internet is like a high school is not a new observation but I do find it fascinating how much of it is directly tied to people trying to win past conflicts from that time in their life. I see so many examples of bullying from people who clearly used to bully their peers that the want to bully someone else and come up with a bullshit excuse as to why it's justified this time because they apply a perceived justifying label of who the bad people are like narcissist or psychopath. Then there's the manosphere types who view all women through the lense of high school mean girls as a justification for their violent misogyny. Even in more alternative circles Especially on tiktok, though this behaviour is absolutely not as harmful as the above, people will frame liking stuff that is honestly pretty mainstream as being anti establishment and use strawmen of a high school bully charicature to do it. That's probably reflecting real expirences but it's interesting that that's the chosen strawman I keep seeing when in the adult world those types of people aren't the actual ones in power. I think there's also an element of misogyny here because it normally reflects the mean girl Regina George architype of bullying that is distinctly feminine instead of the more masculine archetypes of bullying which tend to get treated as a cliche way more than a reflection of reality where as the mean girl is presented as an ever present spector. There definitely an element of the death of counter culture in here too. When the tumorsus growth of mainstream capitalism continues to absorb all media and blunten it's edges, in order to differentiate ourselves we have to create a fightable enemy because it becomes impossible to fights the real one because you are forced to participate in it.

Some of this may be caused by teenagers themselves expressing their schoo yard dynamics online as well as off but I've seen enough adults play into this to feel that a decent number of them have this almost arrested development around adolescence. It makes sense, high school can often be traumatic and is also a major stage of development of identity.

I can't claim this isn't an aspect I deal with too. My high school was very diverse in terms of class and I'd be lying if I said it didnt colour my class politics. When all of the people who tormented you for years were rich, it makes it a lot easier to think they shouldn't have power. I'm morally lucky enough to have good justifications for that beyond my own trauma but if I'm being honest to myself it's not too different a thought process to the ones a lot of young men have that turn them into incels. This isn't a justification of their behaviour by any means, rather a cautionary tale to myself to remind me to continue to examine my own biases.

I do just find it interesting that so much of the behaviour I see can stem to high school trauma. And that fact both suggests to me that school reformation needs to be a priority if activism (in what way I'm unsure but it is definitely an area to look at) but also that I'm really really scared of what is coming in our near future as children are brought up on Andrew Tate and ethically questionable influencers. If that is colouring their behaviour now, even if they grow out of it, the effect they have on their peers may not be something so easily grown from. Maybe if we're fortunate it will be an equally strong force opposing those harmful values but it also may not be. It may be harmful in its own way and I hate that this generation of children is going to be a case study for this

#ramble #drama #tw bullying #tw misogyny

[monggay]

ughhhhhhhh

#school is starting soon n i just saw my fuckin classes #sobs whyvr there so many nnnnnnot stem stuff #not not strm stuff but #social studies stuff #ok injust checkes itbagain i just wasnt paying attentoon #theres atleast 4science or math classes i here #but why the fuck are there 2 classes that say communication #in two diffeggent languesges too #god i checked my messages today to find like a billion new group chats for each class #the one time i didnt check it #in other news its my birthday tomorrow