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#The Sleep Advisor
disgustinggf · 6 months
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I can't imagine you working a regular job
me too you should all send me all of your money so i can quit and never work again
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smilysstuff · 9 months
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Grif and Wash friendship is underrated fight me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months
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...
#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator#i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much#but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday#forever and ever drawing#but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal#literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i#chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms#bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys#the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so#long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from#everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is#warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable#but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head#hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor#for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b#i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am#but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the#past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria#unrelated
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autisticzedaph · 23 days
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I need to change my major .
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softquietsteadylove · 2 months
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Could we get a little something something from My Kingdom for a Heart fic that’s on ao3? Idc if it’s fluff or angst I’ll literally take anything you give out bc it’s just that good!!
Sersi was spinning around the floor with Ikaris, her veil whirling around her, sparkling silver against her emerald green gown. She always had a certain joy to her, of course. But even Thena had not seen her beaming so fully in all their lives together. It was exactly the kind of free, unburdened smile she had always wished for her sister.
To marry without obligation was the best gift Thena could pass on to her sister, and that included abdicating the throne as the eldest and making Sersi the acting queen. Thena had some reservations about the marriage in question being to Ikaris, but she had to admit, he was not so villainous. Annoying, perhaps, but that was a lesser of evils.
He was her brother now, and while she felt she was truly understanding the petulance a brother could bring to her life, their families - and kingdoms - were becoming one. Unfortunately, he still liked to argue with some of the advice she had to offer (as the royal advisor). But Sersi was always quick to hear out her sister, and that usually managed to pull her new husband along with her.
"It is a beautiful ball, your Grace."
Much to her disappointment, it was not the one she was expecting, but rather some lord or another. She did not know why he was saying so to her. She had not planned it alone, nor was she truly participating in it, past being the one who had walked Sersi down the aisle to her groom. "It is."
"Congratulations, to you and to the happy couple."
"Indeed," she muttered. She was no longer the princess and regent, she was merely Sersi's second in line, and that came after her job as advisor, as far as Thena was concerned.
"You look splendid as well, of course."
He was wearing on her patience, of course.
"I should almost think it possible for you to steal the attention away from the bride herself."
"My Lord," Thena drawled, keeping her eyes on her sister, "I should think that you would rather not insult my dearest sister in the process of attempting to compliment me."
"I-I-" he stammered, "I would never-"
Thena moved away from him. She no longer held the power to send people away with the flick of her wrist--truly the only part of her position she truly mourned. The crowd cheered for the guests of honour, concluding another of many dances this evening. Thena smiled.
"Your Grace!"
Was tonight destined to be a gauntlet through which she was to battle?
"Congratulations on your sister's happy marriage, your Grace," another lord bowed to her formally at least. "The kingdom could not be happier for the Prince and his bride."
Sersi would make a wonderful queen. "I shall tell them."
"It does free you, does it not?" he continued, perhaps not catching onto her locked tight posture and cold eyes. "Without expectation to marry the Prince, you are more able to select a husband of your choosing. Perhaps even a love match?"
Thena looked at the brazen lord speaking to her without end. He was younger than she had expected, his hair sitting atop his head with as much arrogance as he exuded in his smile. "Do you have a matter that concerns you, my Lord?"
"Perhaps," he grinned at her, and it made her want to take a long step back from him. He held out his hand to her, "if you would do me the honour-"
"Forgive me, my Lord, but her Grace has other obligations."
Thena's eyes rose, and she failed to contain her pleasure at the sight of her rescuer. "Captain, if you would be so kind as to escort me."
"Of course, your Grace," he smiled back at her as a gentleman would. He even removed his leather glove before offering his hand to her. He stood between her and the man asking to dance with her, turning his back - unthinkably rude! - on him in the process.
"Thank you," Thena murmured as they made their escape, descending the steps closer to the thrones and skirting around the crowd. "I can no longer decline such invitations without good reason."
"I would think that not wanting to listen to him preen himself is reason enough."
Thena attempted to keep her laughter contained, but a faint puff of air escaped her. She held the skirt of her dress in the hand that was not perched in Gil's. "You have rescued me yet again, Captain."
"It is part of my job," he stated, although the royal advisor was not technically part of his obligations as royal guard. He winked at her, "Thena."
She smiled down at the lush carpet beneath their feet. If her hands were free they would be wringing around themselves again and again. The Captain continued to have such effect on her, and her poor, suffering heart. "I keep telling you, it is not."
"And I keep telling you: you will always be Princess, to me."
How was she to think clearly when she had such poetry over her shoulder, no less whispering in her ear?
"Would you like to?"
"To what?" she looked up at him.
He nodded his head towards where Ikaris was claiming another dance with his bride, even wrapping his arms around her and lifting her off the ground in their shared glee. "Dance?"
Her hand flinched in his, while the one holding her dress began squeezing it for her life. Her throat dried. "I'm afraid I have not nearly the grace my sister does, Captain."
"Come on," he whispered to her, even coming to a stop at a small gap in the crowd's observation of the bride and groom. "I thought we had a deal."
Thena's eyes darted up to him and then forward again. Her heart flitted and fluttered in her chest as she sighed, "Gil."
He stood straight, his hand behind his back and the other holding hers aloft. "It is a celebration, y'know. No one would think twice about you having a little fun at your own sister's wedding."
She could feel how warm he was next to her, even with his light chest plate over his formal uniform. Her fingers trembled faintly, but he held her steadily. "I suppose your gallantry should not go unrewarded."
She winced at herself, and her need to make the simple act of a dance something obligatory. Why could she not simply say that she did wish to dance with him?
Because that would be far too damning an admission, and far too revealing for one simple dance.
But Gilgamesh just smiled at her as he always did. He moved slowly, grasping her hand as he took the first step out from the edge of the crowd, "I'm honoured."
Thena forced herself to look up at him as he swept her onto the dance floor. It wasn't that moving with him was unfamiliar, or even awkward. It felt like when he had helped her from the wagon by lifting her delicately by the waist.
If anything, it felt too familiar, and perhaps even too...nice. He was warm, and gentle, and if he were not wearing the pauldron of his armour, she had half a mind to slip her hand up to his shoulder. His hand grasped hers out from them, the other on her back in a proper and appropriate position.
"So, have you thought about it?"
"Hm?" she blinked, betrayed by her mind wandering away from her actions and instead meandering along the subject of her dance partner.
"Marriage."
The royal advisor's cheeks took on a lively rouge as he spun them around with ease. This was not the first time they had discussed such a topic, either. And remembering the last time they had never failed to send her heart into a frenzy.
Somewhere behind them, Sersi also spun past amidst her dance with her husband. Her sister's giggling reached her ears, worsening Thena's feeling of fluster. Sersi knew very well that the subject of marriage - when it involved the Captain - always left her feeling stymied.
"I," Thena started and then paused immediately. Her mastery of language was slipping from her mind. Her eyes slid down his chestplate to the crest of the kingdom sitting right in the centre. Her hand twitched in his again, "I have...considered it."
At her own insistence, her marriage simply had to wait. As soon as she had abdicated, there was little time until Sersi's coronation and the wedding happening right on top of each other. And she and Gilgamesh were at their busiest when Sersi and Ikaris were.
There was no time to consider Gilgamesh's proposal of a proposal, as it were. And a man of his word, he had not brought it up amidst all the chaos of things. But he was asking now. As she had told him, he was asking if he could ask her again.
"And?" he prompted her gently--sweetly. He ducked his head closer to hers, moving closer in their dance to a proximity one could consider salacious. "If I were to ask you, would you say yes?"
Thena tried to keep her breathing even. She felt as if she were drowning in him, and she did not fully want to emerge from it. But she forced herself to keep her face from burying itself against his neck. "Your timing could be improved, Captain."
"Oh?" he chuckled, still in good spirits as she dodged his approach to marrying her yet again. "And how is that?"
Thena closed her eyes, trying to concentrate, and unable to do so while she thought people might be observing them acting so improperly. All she needed do was turn her head for her lips to graze his cheek or perhaps even his ear (indecent!). She gulped. "It is my sister's wedding day, Gil. This is no time for you to be asking for my hand."
"I daresay she would approve."
Sersi would be the first to jump for joy. She would also point right at Thena and say that she had said so long beforehand.
"I will not become engaged on the day of my sister's wedding," Thena resolved with a bit of a huff. "Have you no sense of propriety?"
On the contrary, it was mortifyingly she who was breaths away from pressing her forehead under his jaw just to feel the warmth of his skin.
"Forgive me, your Grace." She knew he was smirking--she just knew it. "Shall I ask again tomorrow, then?"
Thena's heart pounded. He hadn't asked in the exact words, but her whole body felt flush with warmth and thrill all the same. The warmth did not drain from her cheeks as she gripped his hand purposefully with her fingers. "I will be at the garden pond at first light. I expect you will not keep me waiting."
As she had done to him.
His hand squeezed hers, and he even dared to weave their fingers together (the absolute audacity). He tilted his head, disguising the way he touched his cheek to the top of her head, no longer weighed down by a golden circlet. "I wouldn't dream of it, Thena."
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edmunderson · 3 months
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the funniest thing in birth by sleep really is the ball in cinderella's world
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arthur-r · 2 months
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on my way to academic advising appointment and i’m so scared. cause like i am NOT good at being a history major, like it’s the most applicable major to my goals i THINK but i’m not like a lyndon b. johnson nerd if that makes sense?? like i’m interested in history on a lot more of a local and personal level, or at the same time a holistic and universal level?? i would do anthropology if it weren’t for not actually fitting anthropology either and hating their classes worse too. i’m looking at minoring in folklore which is kind of getting there, and i’m interested in the history classes my school has to offer but i just kind of know that i’m doing it wrong. like public history classes in curation and presentation aren’t really the point. history of librarianship is supposed to be supplemental to NORMAL history. i want to major in historical identity. i want to major in how history is preserved and engaged with and identified with or rejected. and that’s what a fucking history major is but it’s just not quite right. and i don’t want to talk to some weird old white man about why i’m looking at latin + folklore + queer visual culture + geographic information systems as potentially being my four classes next semester which are NONE OF THEM HISTORY. if i take history next semester it will be history of technology or history of education. WHICH IS FUCKING HISTORY. i guess i just feel so guilty for not actually being that interested in political economy. and like come ON i’m actually so fucking engaged in the real kind of history too, i’ve been studying immigration history and being so fucking invested. i HAVE OPINIONS about lyndon b johnson (i fucking hate that man like thanks for passing civil rights but that’s a bare minimum and he used it as a way to sneak in the permanent existence of an undocumented labor class of latin americans to uphold capitalism through exploitation and fear. so FUCK YOU LBJ) but anyway the point is the intersection of everything i want to do with my life all branches off of history. but it’s just not really that simple. i’m glad i’m at the school i chose and not in colorado but it sure would be handy to be getting a fucking BACHELOR OF INNOVATION in museum studies and heritage management. instead of just hanging around the in-between, taking the most incredible classes but living in the unfortunate reality where they all count for different, tangentially related fields of study. anyway the stupid advisor man is probably a really good guy. i just feel so embarrassed showing up to his office like “yeah i’m studying history. i don’t know what years were the french revolution” you know???? anyway next semester i’ll be taking a class about public folklore (coolest thing in the world) and third level latin, and then maybe something for science breadth, maybe a history class about education or technology or MAYBE the history of the american west, which just might not be very relevant to me if i stay in the midwest shdhdf like i’m so interested in mexican-american history but i’m centralizing pretty heavily in midwestern migrant experiences which are less studied and more personally relevant, and “the west” is mostly like the gold rush and stuff anyway. which i’m supposed to be INTERESTED IN as a history major but i’m not really!!!! and i might take a class about making websites and databases because i want to, and maybe a class about the history of textiles because that’s so fucking cool. but this isn’t what they WANT from me so i’m really anxious. somebody just looked at me weird for walking out of the women’s restroom and it made me think about how the problem is that my academic interests are nonbinary i’m fucking careerqueer or something AKA indecisive and weird and unemployable. but also the coolest in the world. ANYWAY wish me luck and i got this. but spooky scary!!!!
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cherrycoloredphoenix · 4 months
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Day 7: Dare - Ai Chang and the mortifying ordeal of being cared for
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General Jia Ziyin stamped back into the circle of bare ground around the fire with an armful of sticks that he dropped with a huff. His breath had crystallized in his facial hair. He wiped a crust of ice off of his eyebrow, then perked up. “Oh, that’s very nice. Good thinking.”
He’d paused to admire the talisman that Ai Chang had hung from the tent pole. It was meant to deflect snow and retain heat, and Ai Chang was huddled under it, ostensibly to apply some defensive wards to the back of the tent but really to get out of the wind. Ziyin tapped Ai Chang on the shoulder to let him crowd under the tent cover as well.
It was a small space, and the general was not a small man. Ai Chang retreated as much as he could manage in his bulky winter clothing, tucking himself into the corner against the chilly tent fabric and putting a mittened hand over his freezing nose. Ziyin reached over and tugged on his sleeve.
“Isn’t that cold? Come here.” He patted the ground at the mouth of the tent, where he was already sitting on a makeshift cushion of moss and spare clothing.
The empty tent would have been large enough for them to both lie down in if they crowded, but as it was, their supplies took up too much space. Ai Chang slowly unfolded himself and shuffled to sit as commanded. He was pleased to discover that the combination of the fire and talisman had made a bubble of air that was noticeably warmer. Not exactly comfortable, but a marked improvement from the increasingly heavy snowfall.
Night descended. Ai Chang felt himself slipping into a doze, lulled by watching the drifting snow, and jerked himself back upright more than once. After the third jolt, Ziyin laughed and said, “Feel free to sleep. I’ll take first watch.”
“I’m fine,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
Ziyin clicked his tongue. “Must I order you? It was a hard day and you're clearly exhausted.”
“The monster - ”
“- Isn’t going to be moving in this weather,” Ziyin said firmly. “And even if it did, we couldn’t follow it. Better to be well-rested now, before we set out again.”
Well, true enough. Ai Chang nodded, adjusted his posture to stay upright, and let himself drift.
He didn’t know how long it had been since he fell asleep. He wasn’t even entirely sure what had woken him at first. Ziyin was breathing steadily and unhurriedly above him, so it wasn’t his turn to keep watch and nothing urgent was going on. The talisman was still going strong - there wasn’t so much as a stray breeze on his face. He was warm and there was a comforting weight around his shoulders. At some point he’d leaned over, and his head was pillowed on something soft.
Then he realized what he was lying on, and what the weight on his shoulders was, and what had woken him, and stiffened. It was a reflexive movement that he immediately shut down, but Ziyin noticed anyway. How could he not, when his arm was around Ai Chang’s shoulders, keeping him tucked against his side, under his own cloak?
“Ai Chang?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Ai Chang was very still, keeping his body relaxed and his breaths even despite his racing thoughts. He didn’t dare stir.
Ziyin hummed above him, the sound resonating through his chest and Ai Chang’s cheek. He sounded amused. “Dreaming, perhaps,” he said, and tucked the cloak more securely around them both. “I hope it’s a pleasant one.”
And then he kissed him again. Just a brief, light, affectionate press to the top of his head. Naturally and unselfconsciously, as if it were a completely normal and usual thing to do. And then he turned his attention back to the snowy forest to continue keeping watch. Which left Ai Chang nothing to do but fall slowly back asleep, mind full of the memory of that gentle touch.
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waugh-bao · 5 months
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*
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crowleyanthonys · 11 months
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I FINISHED MY CONFERENCE DRAFT
IT'S SHIT. BUT IT'S DONE
/collapses on the ground
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nojaloart · 6 months
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art school is so crazy. i spend two years going okay i’m just going to get the degree and go straight into the workforce and then one day i wake up and go okay but what if i did a masters.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 month
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...
#oh lads. its not looking good for my genomics exam on Thursday. its all fucked#i dunno. its just been a weird day. bc one of my lab mates is getting ready to go to the astr0biology science conference#and its just so wild how i got here. into the perfect position. i have a great advisor. a great phd project. a committee member who is super#integrated with n4sa astr0biology projects. and so many of the instructors are amazing. my genomics prof is terrifyingly smart#so is my advisor and his wife. and the program is great. ecology and Evolution. its perfect. its all perfect#and yet. and yet. it just feels like its all falling apart. ive lost that compulsive thing thats always set in my chest#and now all i want to do is lay on the floor and cry and sleep and not do anything. why am i so tired?#its just so frustrating. and im sure ive got the most wretched vibes bc im constantly like 1 comment away from bursting into tears#like 2 weeks and its done. then im off to find a summer job. and find a long term job. and consider throwing away everything ive ever worked#toward. just let it all burn. im so tired. and i dont get to see my therapist until Monday. thats gonna b fun#hi. hello. since last i saw you my life has crumbled into pieces. ugh. i just dont wanna fail this genomics exam but it looks like that's#where we're headed. maybe i should have just dipped out of these last 3 weeks. but no. i didnt want to leave the lady i ta for 100 lab#reports to unexpectedly have to grade 4 days before grades are due. ugh. itll b fine. i mean it wont but whatever#unrelated
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mudstoneabyss · 1 year
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eepy
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I know you've already written several of these, but I wanted to ask if you could write a nightmare scene. A scene in which Thena has a violent nightmare and lashes out wildly in her sleep. Gilgamesh tries to calm her down or wake her up without hurting himself or her.
Gil's eyes split open in the dark of his room. His fire was down to small embers, but it wasn't the chill that had woken him. It was faint, but it was a vibration that alerted him to something happening in the room next to his.
He looked up, waiting for another sign of anything. It took a few minutes, but he heard another thump of something. He pushed his covers back and prepared to make the chilly walk to the room next door.
Thena had always had nightmares, and the cold really wasn't helping.
Gil padded to her door, knocking gently before entering. He waited, but the fact that he hadn't woken her was a sign that she was quite deep in sleep, and whatever visions were plaguing her. "Thena?"
The room was a disaster. Blankets and sheets and furs slashed to pieces as if a battle had taken place. It would be easy to assume that an assailant had tried to sneak into the Warrior Eternal's chambers. But it was just her, tangled in what remained of her bedding.
"Oh, Thena," Gil sighed as he closed her door behind her. She was both sweating and trembling, which didn't surprise him, considering how cold she was here all the time.
The battle today had been long, and draining in a plethora of ways. Thena had just barely dragged herself back to the palace, leaning on him all through dinner.
"No," she panted, seeming feverish as her body spasmed in the bed, "please!"
"Thena, I'm here," Gil whispered, approaching the bed carefully. He jumped back just in time to avoid one of her blades.
She was made for war, and sleep wasn't strong enough to keep her from it.
"Please don't!" she whimpered, hands held aloft, sometimes still and sometimes twitching and clawing. Then they were fabricating a blade and lashing out. "No!"
"Thena," he raised his voice faintly, hoping to wake her gently. He didn't want to get hurt, but more importantly, he didn't want her to hurt herself in the process. He inhaled, pulling some energy into his palms, "wake up."
"Gil," she whispered, and sounded distressed when she did. "Gil, please help."
"I'm right here, Solnyshkuh," he attempted to soothe her. He didn't know what was happening in her mind, but he must have been taken from her by force. It was the only way he was ever parting with her.
"Gil," she mumbled out miserably, hands back to clawing at the air.
He swept forward, pressing his palms to hers. His energy met hers, the two fizzling and sparking against each other. He wove their fingers together, letting out a breath as her Cosmic Energy and its deadliness receded. Her hands softened, her fingers sliding against his to cling to him.
She stilled.
"Thena?" he whispered, still holding her hands together with his. He leaned down, nudging her head with his, "hey."
"Hm," she blinked as her eyes finally cracked open. They were hazy and unfocused--nothing like the Warrior Eternal. "Gil?"
"Hey," he cooed, pressing his lips to her forehead as he helped her sit up using his hands for leverage. He moved with her, only leaning as far away as strictly necessary. His head hovered close to hers, "you okay?"
"Wh-" Thena looked away from him around the rest of the room. Her fire was still reasonably stoked, and now with a few scraps of material in it. She looked around at the damage she had done. "Did I...?"
"Nightmare," he whispered, running his thumb along the bony ridge of her hand. "You remember?"
She shook her head.
"Okay." It didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was awake now, and he could comfort her properly. He pulled her closer until she could settle in his lap, like she would when they went to the bath house together. "Never mind that."
Thena inhaled with her face pressed against his neck, nuzzling in to bury her nose in the collar of his sleeping robes.
She was shaking. Gil tightened his hold on her, pressing his much warmer cheek to hers, "I'm sorry, sweetheart."
Thena said nothing, burrowing against him for comfort against an unknown, unseen enemy. Her fist closed around a handful of his robes, holding onto him with desperation.
"Come on," Gil said equally soft and decisive in tone, standing and hefting her - not that there was much to heft - into his arms.
"Where?" she sighed, although it couldn't be said that she protested at all as her arms looped around his neck.
"My bed," he clarified, as if it needed saying. He walked back to his room, leaving them to decide what to do about her bed chambers later. "It's nice and warm."
"And in one piece?"
"I was gonna say comfy," he chuckled, and felt her smile against his cheek as a reward. He leaned his head against her, "you need to rest."
Thena let him close his door and set her on the bed. She immediately snuggled into the spot where he had previously been lying, taking up half the space while on her side.
Gil chuckled, coming back to her after tossing a few more logs onto the fire. He slipped back into the bed, letting her take the warmest spot for herself. He was warm enough. He wrapped his arms around her, always happy to enjoy how cuddly she was when she was cold. "Better?"
"Hm," she purred, burying her face against his chest as she made herself comfortable.
"I keep telling you to come to bed with me," he reminded her as he listened to the sweet music of her dozing off.
"I'm trying to sleep, Gilgamesh."
"Okay, later," he promised, kissing the top of her head (since her face was pressed into his chest at the moment). "I'm just saying-"
"Shush."
"Yes, dear."
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basingstokemercury · 6 months
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midnight
realised i've hardly eaten in the last two days (whoops?)
certainly not cooking now but not sure what's around ready to eat
hmm
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callixton · 2 months
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i really am missing so many classes i am getting scared abt my ability to finish this semester. but man i am just doing so bad
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