#THIS FEELS WEIRD TO ME IDEK

[acesammy]

Sam is more queercoded than dean bc almost all of sam’s love interests are deemed unacceptable and Sam is constantly mocked and shamed for it send tweet

#Like everyone other than Eileen??? #either he’s being kicked out for being normal or he’s in love with a monster #there’s no in between here #Also most of them get killed for what they are #This has been in my drafts for a hot minute but I was thinking about it again tonight #he even gets mocked for MADISON #like?? LIKE????? #idek man there’s just such a weird framing around these characters #and I was a little 13 year old who was absolutely PANICKING over having crushes on girls and I saw Sam and his struggle to Fit #and I went #oh he’s like me #and I have held this character close to my heart ever since #Lea speaks #I feel like I am swinging a bat at a hornets nest with this one but also I’ve never seen this discussed so

[mwagneto]

apologies for the extremely crass post i'm about to make but it's absolutely wild to me how the gomens fandom treats genitals and gay sex like even disregarding the weird ass "making an effort" thing, the fact that "one of them has a dick and the other has a pussy coz it makes sex easier/more convenient/whatever" is a take i see relatively often is ? fucking insane ?? like even just beyond the obvious extremely strange anti-sodomy homophobia of literally saying piv sex is better than anal sex it's like. do people just assume gay men have anal sex coz they wanna have piv sex but lack the hole for it so they have to make do ??????? like you guys realise gay men have anal sex coz they like being fucked in the ass right? you guys are aware of this right

#LIKE IT'S SO CRAZY ????? SORRY ??????????? LIKE HUH? WHAT♥ #it's soooo . bonkers how homophobic this fandom is like ohhhhhhmy god #like mf. maybe examine why you think one thing's superior to the other😭😭😭 bruh #it's a thing i see in all fandoms but it's specifically weird in this one coz they make it Even Weirder #but in general when fandoms write/talk abt trans men and it's alwaayyyssssss p1v w them bottoming #like . i honestly don't even really have an argument like this feels so obvious idek what the hell to SAY #IT'S SO WEIRD. WHY DO YOU HATE GAY MEN SO MUCH... #good omens #gomens #ask to tag idk what to tag this i hate being expl cit or crass but this drives me crazy 😭

[non-un-topo]

Thoughts at the bar this Friday. I also started reading Pageboy, and although it sometimes hits close to home, it's giving me some good gender-affirming feelings. Elliot Page and I have a roughly 2-inch height difference.

#siggy draws #meself #i may be 5'2 but around my friends i am still 'dad'. and although being the sober one this friday was boring and isolating at times - #- it also allowed me to protect my friends and my partner. to look out for them and get them water. #to hold my partner's glasses while they moshed. to hook my friends' arms under mine and guide them away from traffic. #i had a gastroscopy in the morning so my throat and stomach were pretty sore and i couldn't sing or talk much. couldn't drink or smoke. #so i was just this sort of sweet little quiet guy and my partner and friends kept swarming me with kisses and words of affection. #''as an experiment'' i'd asked them all to refer to me as he/him for the night and they hugged me so tightly #and it didn't feel weird #my clothes are still too big. my face is still too feminine. i'm the size of a middle-schooler. but around them i'm 'dad' and 'dude' #thinking of hitting up a clothing swap because i can't afford new clothes or shoes. i'm also looking into some ftm-specific support groups #transgender #gender euphoria #genderfluid #honestly idek #trans butch maybe? i love my children (friends) but i will kill them for forever saying i'm a twink

[lavampira]

you know the day is going to be a doozy when you wake up with anxiety already eating you alive 🫠

#sorry not to once again vent about The Horrors #i’ve just been having an absolute weird one today lolol #and idek why this is where my brain has chosen to latch this time #somewhere between feeling too clingy for wanting to casually tell friends i love them or miss them or want to spend time with them #and being sensitive about slight changes with ones who withdraw from doing the same as often too #or changes in some routines i guess #like what if i’m just unaware that i’m the annoying person clinging to a friendship that’s fading #i don’t want to be too needy for reassurance or too pushy with being so sappy :o) #which is irrational of my brain but i can’t help feeling the way i do either #because i did lose touch with a former close friend recently and just. not realize that closeness wasn’t there anymore. lmao #but also ‘hi do you still love me. do you miss me if i’m not available. you haven’t said so in a while’ feels insane to ask shdghsd #ANYWAY that’s enough vulnerability for today. bye. #the life and times

[lazzarella]

I’ve watched My Personal Weatherman three times in the past two weeks and I’m considering starting it again tonight 😫

#except I don’t want to ruin it for myself and watch it so many times I feel nothing when I watch it 😭 #my personal weatherman #I just… I can’t explain why I love it so much #it’s the total lack of communication and how they’re together but there’s the longing and the yearning #and how segasaki slowly unfolds and you realise how much he loves yoh and constantly shows it #and ughhhhhh idek #I feel weird liking it so much because the actors are so young though #It’s just such a perfect dynamic for me

[liesyousoldme]

why am i incapable of having internet friends. why is it easier to make irl friends

#i’m constantly feeling like no one likes me #so i never message people and i never reply to posts #bc no one Actually wants to hear from me bc it would be weird #like no amber that’s not your friend that’s an acquaintance #and i will never pass that level with anyone #i feel so unseen and unloveable and unwanted and it makes me feel like high school #and i guess i know the answer is stop being chicken shit and message people i wanna be friends with #but it’s been so long since ive had Friends that idek how to interact #and idk what to say #UGH

[sonego]

ppl not knowing i'm trans is so weird cause today my coworker pretty much explained first day of period pain to me and i was sitting there in her car just slow blinking not knowing what the fuck to say

#i said. nothing #i think i might've mmhmmh-ed maybe. not sure #i never know what to say when cis women tell me things i'm technically not “supposed to” know #idk how much empathy they want from a “man” or if they're just telling me to vent or idk just let it out #and it's also kinda. weird? bc i know even cis women who don't know i'm trans tell me more things than they tell “other” men #ok just read this keeping in mind ppl irl think i'm a man if they don't think i'm a woman that's why i say man lmao but #this coworker in particular is nice i like her but sometimes. i feel like she treats me as her like gay bestie lmao #idek if she knows i'm gay or suspects it probably yes but sometimes she's just a little weird #the first time i wore nail polish at work she kept asking me why i did it and giggling like ??? what's so funny 😭 #she told me “did you wear it bc (italian male celeb) does it?” girl what 😭😭 #non mi metto lo smalto perché se lo mette fedez be serious #and just other times she's been kinda uh. weird. and generally treating me like i'm a man but also not a man #idk fkfkdjwxkdbm it's difficult to explain but like #i don't mind that ppl cloak i'm not cishet and (even subconsciously) treat me accordingly it's just when it feels forced? and not genuine? #that it bothers me #but anyway *** TRUST ME I KNOW ABOUT FIRST DAY OF PERIOD PAIN............... i don't miss it #nico.txt

[elegyofthemoon]

on silly gender moments with snow: realizing you've been saying "i shouldve been born a guy" since you were like. 10

#IM NOT SAYING THAT IM A GUY yes i am sorta. #its complicated idek #actually you can come out of my draft since im cleaning hi #snow speaks #i was saying this on a different blog bc i was like >_> hmmm dont feel comfy talking about it on main #but then you know what its fine #anyways was having a moment of realization after my friend texted me 'hey girl!' and i was like stomping around like >:I i am not a girl!!! #i cant tell if thats just me not really feeling like i align to a girlthese days and i dont wanna use she/her (or am just v tired of using #them compared to they/them and even moreso he/him since no one bothers with those around me) #also i still joke about this alot which is kinda funny bc i do it half joking and like enough that i can dip out of the convo if they seem #weird about it BUT ANYWAYS LMAOOOO #snows gender: a joke. #anyways i need to look for something inmy drafts

[girlwithfish]

googling how do you know you love someone

#i don't think im there yet but im wondering if this guy actually loves me lol or if he just says it fast #idk #maybe i shouldnt question other ppls feelings and decisions like that #its sweet he thinks that ig. scary too #hes respectful that i feel its too soon but we talk abt love in general #i asked him what love is to him n stuff #he said he feels his energy goes up and gets replenished when hes with me #but he definitely is hinting at it or tells me he feels it justwont say it bc hek nows im not comfortable w it yet #and i think its understood im not there yet and wouldnt say it back but i feel its weird unspoken thing if one person says it and the other #doesnf #but maybe love isnt saying it just to hear it back #idk im like idek what love is to me anymore #i get nervous and dont know what to say even when he asks me like what my favorite snacks are #i like him a whole lot though #already miss him and wish i was asleep at his place #i turn into a lazy cat when im at his place tho i just fall asleep and or laze about. i hope its not annoging #but he tells me a lot he likes wjen i sleep at his place so :3

[alorz]

(SHOCKING)) local man combats her desire to run away by staying, and somehow, managing to make things generally worse

#pers #I’m. Hrrrrrrrr. i’m frustrated i’m tired. #sorry not to be 23 years old and vent posting on tumblr i’m just. i feel so lost with ever even knowing what i want or am as a person #and i have therapy for that but someone rlly important to me is kind of getting back together with a guy who hates me and my therapy #sessions are kinda occupied w that so i just feel. empty and tired and alone and idek where to go with any of it #i feel like a weird creature that keeps biting the people i love #god

[workof-tortured-poetsdepartment]

btw I got TOLD I looked good today by 2 classmates as I entered college and um AAAAAA GIRLS COMPLIMENTING ME??!?!?!?!

#and like I felt like shit inside over how I looked today (im having body crisis lmao im just kind of in a weird headspace these days) #idek lol :) I try to dress up but somedays I just feel like weird about it inside because i dont look like me iykyk

[jeonqkooks]

i keep saying i have yoongi brainrot but i don't think you know just how much i love him actually. like after d-day release my admiration for him has grown exponentially. i love him with my whole heart.

#like i relied on yoongi a lot when i was feeling weird and out of place in the fandom and i guess in my personal life too #and whenever i say that i now relate to the older members more i usually mean yoongi especially #and the thing that resonates with me the most is when he said he spent so long being angry now he wants to be softer and more gentle #UGH i have stuff to say but idek how to phrase it #cannot put into words how much i love and adore him #jen rambles

[bangcakes]

.

#still crazy to me that i live in a world where i can just ??? message him whenever i want n he replies ??? #we've come such a long way its insane #like this time last year we hadnt even messaged unless it was thru like. the class dc server JDJDJDJDJDJ #actually like a year ago yesterday he blew my fuckin mind bc i was walkin from the parking lot to class n he was just standing there #waiting for me ???????? it blew my fuckin mind bc at that point id given up on him right. i was like ok no way this guys into me but JDJDJDJ #i was super early for the test n he said he had to go put something away in his car n he happened to see me n we talked all the way to #the exam and all b4 JDJDJSSJNSNS #our relationship is so weird. like just so weird #i feel like we gravitate toward each other its..... idek JDNNDDNNDNZ #this has never happened to me b4. like usually i talk to the guy n its like o .... actually ur not what i imagined djdjsjsjs #but this guy #... so annoying bc he gets better every time n we've known each other for over a year now #idk i just.... ive talked about it b4 but our similarities are insane. and like the way we kept bumping into each other ???? #idk its so weird JDJDZJJZJZJS #i think its mutual i really do. i think its just gonna take awhile to make a move. idk if its gonna be me or him but... #yeah im not really worried anymore #personal

[bloodbuzz-smartypants]

Can we talk about Fjall's sacrifice into becoming a Witcher out of love?

#i came for the bard and got weird(er) feels #loving this love born of struggle between these 2 #also Witchers being born to defeat monsters #but it ultimately being a decision made out of love and self sacrifice #idek #making me see Witchers in a diff angle #that said #jaskier #looks great and messy and vulnerable #yes i'm watching it rn #fjall x elle #the witcher #twbo #spoilers #the witcher blood origin

[deplcythebattery]

we're getting me hospital insurance bc i have this unnerving feeling i'm gonna end up in the hospital sooner rather than later 💀 i don't feel like i'm gonna Die right now but i do absolutely feel awful and it's been in my head for days now that i need hospital insurance in case i have to go in. and i've had gut feelings enough to know this is one of those which is fucking terrifying

#i feel awful currently and hospital won't leave my brain #kinda similar but the thought that i might have cancer also won't leave me be #that one is less intense and more of a fear since i found a weird mole and i've been deteriorating fast #been getting so bad so fast i think it's my brain just trying to find something wrong with me that's tangible #i haven't had any weird weight loss so i'm just gonna assume i don't have cancer #but it's scarily close to a gut feeling too. #not as nagging as the hospital feeling but still in the back of my head a lot #idek what symptoms cancers have so i'm sure it's not that

[pharawee]

So my internet's back.

The projects I worked on this month are all finished (and I'm hoping to have a quiet rest of the month but we'll see).

And it's my bday today.

Hiatus officially over. I'm so ready for the Love Syndrome III finale tonight lmao

#i need to catch up with my tag aaah #also my bday feels kind of lonely this year idek #maybe it's because i always feel kind of empty and weird after finishing big stressful projects #and i've been working non-stop for weeks #so this is my first real day off #i'm now feeling kind of bad for not working lmao #anyway rant over happy bday to me