#SO NEEDED TO SET IT RIGHT

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[spocks-kaathyra]

experimenting w making little trek dolls for the STLV craft swap :))

#sisko first bc idk how I'm gonna make hair LMAO but isn't he so cute?? #made the doll a while ago but I just made his little outfit today and yesterday :)) #hopefully giving them away for free means no one will mind the shoddy craftsmanship lmao #I think I've set a new record for terrible hand sewing. and there's raw edges on the inside. and none of the thread is the right color #but WHO CARES HES SO CUTE!!!! #it's the early ds9 uniform bc I've been watching voy and I'm sooo enamored with their uniforms ugh I need to make an actual life size one #watching voyager will have u saying things like. surely it can't be that hard to sew an invisible zipper?? #anyways. need to figure out how to make hair so I can make characters other than him and picard 💀💀 #ds9 #star trek #benjamin sisko #deep space nine #captain sisko #narcissus's echoes #narcissus plays dress up #(?)

[yrsonpurpose]

Mary & George (2024) Episode 3 'Not So Much as Love as by Awe'

#mary and george #mary & george #mary and george spoilers #maryandgeorgeedit #nicholas galitzine #george villiers #robert carr #userninz #chrissiewatts #usergayppl #mine* #this being the first gifset i make? likely thing for me to be doing #OHHHH I ATE GOOD W THIS #the tension the hate sex of it all omgkjdhgf #i need them BOTH #robert so down bad even smallpox didnt stop him #the slow touch of the cheek??? okay #right. but who fucked who here. george bffr #crazy things to be saying while hes still inside you but whatever george you gotta do you #i will be making more sets when theres a hd version soon but this is all youre having for now #idk when itll be but dont forget me if everyone else gifs things first :)

[clonerightsagenda]

"what if you had a mutual aid network that occasionally told interdimensional monsters to fuck off": Discworld witches as a concept

#so much of the Tiffany books in particular are about day to day community support #doing the chores... checking in on the elders who don't have family.... sitting up with the dead #it takes the quiet often uncelebrated everyday work of living and dying #and sets it right up against slaying vampires or vanquishing monsters #and maybe that's another reason why they aren't as popular #beyond yknow. centering women #but man maybe we need more books celebrating the heroism of clipping a lonely 90 year old man's toenails for him #discworld #perpetual perpetual ladies night #why this

[humming-fly]

sadly Arthur can't make friends with every cute woodland creature he comes across in the medieval countryside I can't believe the setting for season 5 has been out for over a month and I haven't seen a single monty python reference yet I guess I'll do it myself

in the spirit of choose-your-own-adventures here's an alternative timeline

#does discussing s5's setting count as spoilers real talk #it's been known for well over a month by this point right #malevolent #malevolent podcast #mp #arthur lester #john doe #monty python #monty python and the holy grail #malevolent spoilers #Not really but like?? I guess to be nice?? #oh god 2am a return to form #wasn't originally planning to do two comics but i kind of liked both gags #with john describing the Horrors and arthur getting mauled #both are good fun so figured why not Really stay up later than I need to

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

this is. so Indulgent. i have no excuse!

#LISTEN listen i was hangin w/ my homeslice the other day #talking about gomens ofc #and yall know i cant turn off the laughingstock setting in my brain so the two Mixed Gloriously. horribly? wonderfully? terribly? both! all #i thought to myself 'oh theyd look so good in azi & crowley's fits #AND I WAS RIGHT- #in my mind theyre holding hands on their other side. we cant see it but they Are #scribble garnish #laughingstock #barnaby x howdy #howdy x barnaby #OUGH THEY'RE SOOOOOOO <3 #i needed a pickmeup tonight and oh BOY have my emotions been picked up!!! and chucked skyward!!! yeehaw & hawyee! #they deserve to dine at the ritz... #except the ritz is howdys bodega & instead of tea they have sparkly fruity sodas <3 #gonna slam my head into a wall They're So- #holding them both and squeezing till they pop!!!

[duriens]

so we all agree that kirkwall is both horrifying and fascinating and i wish they'd delved more into its bloody history beyond the snippets we get from the codexes of the band of three. like hello?? three seekers of truth - among which a dalish mage - scurrying about the sewers and lower passages of the city, discovering that kirkwall was designed as some sort of magical symbol, has grooves in the sewers allowing the flood of blood downward for blood magic purposes, and last but not least realizing that its circle of magi had a much higher number of failed harrowings & episodes of blood magic hysteria than basically any other circle in existence??? you cant leave me hanging like that. why was the veil so thin there even before tevinter came? why were they weakening it further?? what was tevinter doing with all those disappeared slaves every year and the huge blood magic ritual involving thousands of slaves and the city itself being a magic symbol??? did the band ever find out if the Forbidden Ones are the same Forgotten Ones of dalish lore??? why was xebenkeck called 'forgotten one'??? hello????? what the fuck is up in kirkwall??????

#i think i need another game set in kirkwall but this time done RIGHT #ALSO what's up with the legions tevinter sent to kirkwall that completely vanished??? #i understand that it's likely a reference to the ninth roman legion that disappeared into thin air #since tevinter is modeled after the roman empire etc etc #but i also want to know WHERE THEY WENT #WHERE'D THEY END UP BIOWARE #why is kirkwall so damn dangerous in the first place #p #kirkwall #dragon age #dragon age 2 #tevinter #the band of three #dragon age meta

[muzzleroars]

introductions

#ultrakill oc #michael #v2 #machines want machine names. angels want angel names. and they're kind of the same #v2 really really makes this guy get some perspective #problem is he's never had a single thought in his head challenged #but v2 does it like. instantly. right at their introduction #which absolutely sets a tone mike needs and comes to expect #i got so many doodles of these two. flood gates are OPEN!!! #doodle tag #rise and fall au #FINALLY this tag will get more significant art. ough

[sysig]

Chewtoy (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Gaster #Papyrus #Sans #Squeeze him - he makes a squeaky toy noise #Everyone needs to bite Gaster! He doesn't yield like flesh so it probably doesn't even hurt right? Yeahhhh he'll be fiiiine #There is something very funny to me about him just sitting there and taking it tho lol - feeds into his martyr play ♪ #As if I don't already have a favourite martyr hmmm don't worry about it lol #What was he even doing why is he just letting 2-P bite him lol #Socialization? That's not a good thing to just let him do! He's still got a young mind! Boundaries are important #He does offer a way out - hehe ♫ - but he doesn't enforce it! You're setting them up for failure #Hehehehe #The bone gift was fun to doodle hehe ♪ He leaves it with him and it goes completely untouched while his arm is covered in teeth-marks pfft #Even with Papyrus a bit more unruly I still like to imagine he acts mean in largely harmless ways haha #Like yeah he's being naughty and biting when he knows better and offered other options - Gaster. Gentle enforcement - but he's not Hurting #He's not using his entire bite force - probably lol or he's just got weak little baby bites (though those can be quite painful!) #Sans on the other hand would absolutely go 100% full power - and still only do 1HP lol what an unfortunate design quirk for him #If only he had a jaw he could open! He'd bite the heck outta Gaster! Alas #I do like to imagine Fellplates!Sans has just fast-tracked to classic's conclusion of ''You suck and I hate you. Die'' about Gaster lol #Even the possibility of not being mean to him is so alien! What do you /mean/ not hurt you?? Do you know who you're talking to?? #He'll find another way to mess with him in good time haha

[kristalijah]

HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!! I REPEAT, HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!!

#i havent posted anything on this site for years and i talk for these bitches..... as it should be #hes doing the marceline sexy smoldering eyes too i cant take this #i havent seen anyone talk about this and i am LOSING it over this detail i need everyone and their mother to know this #i already commented about this on youtube and someone was already doubting like 'i thought hes looking at the lemoncarbs' #AND I WILL SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. U CAN SEE HIS EYES GO DOWN (TO WHERE GARY'S ASSETS ARE) THEN UP TO MEET HIS EYES WHEN HE LOOKS BACK #the lemoncarbs are clearly to the left where gary is staring at in horror.....keep up people. #he doesnt look at the lemoncarbs once until they started insulting gary's cute lil baking with the 'i hate their little faces' line #and then u can see his eyes move from left (to where lemoncarbs are) to right to look at gary again. #THERE. CASE OVER #I BETTER NOT SEE ANYONE INVALIDATE THEIR OBVIOUS FUCKING FLIRTING OR I WILL #cry. theyre very important to me. i love bubbline/gumlee so much i will die for them #its also funny that hes doing that NOW when our boy is clearly stressed tf out #its giving 'hate to see you leave love to see you go' energy lmaooo #gumlee #adventure time #fionna and cake #adventure time fionna and cake #gary prince #marshall lee

[linovadraws]

In my excitement for A Power Unbound, I've been relistening to A Restless Truth and remembering how much I love this book, ahhhhhh.

A Maud and Violet to match my Robin and Edwin drawing :)

#freya marske #a restless truth #a marvellous light #the last binding #fahye #fanart #anyway no one tell freya but technically speaking maud isn't wearing the right underwear here shhhh #listen drawing a chemise and drawers set looked odd from this angle #let's all ignore that this is technically a set of combinations #not sure if this needs a community tag so i guess yell at me if it does?

[felassan]

ouugh i just cant wait to return to thedas

#dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #gpoy #feels #video games #i think thedas is my favorite setting #and in da the world of thedas itself is my favorite character #to properly return! like us- in a game as opposed to a comic or book etc #which r great but isnt the same as playing and exploring #its been so long and i need to go back fr #i am so excited for the summer #thedas dragonage i love u #thedas dragonage wanna run to u 🥺🥺 #meet me halfway right at the borderline its where im gonna wait #for u #ill be lookin out #night and day #og mj

[futuristichedge]

He should be at the club!!!

#professor pickle #sth #sth fanart #sonic unleashed #sonic fanart #my art #doodles #so many silly characters in this series. need to draw them more </3 #amy and pickles going shopping! getting this old man a killer outfit #sonic channel art has been so silly. i look forward to seeing the new one each month :) #captioning art is so hard. almost did ''let gaia sleep'' and a bunch of other jet set radio titles but eh. didnt fit right

[yangjeongin]

HYUNJIN | 230602 • S-CLASS / MUSIC BANK

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids #bystay #createskz #staysource #a9gifs #malegroupsnet #flashing tw #*gif #*ccarly #*carly:hyunjin #*hyunjin #let'S GOOOOO #starting out the era with a set i actually kinda like. must be the blue and red #top right. so disrespectful. eugh #anyway i need to go sleep for an hour now before i go to target. i'll finally stop spamming the tags now #unless i decide to just not sleep. we'll see

[stuckinapril]

embracing my morning gym girlie routine i think. gonna study for like 3 more hours then hit the gym in the cutest workout fit. and then im rewarding myself w my favorite veggie wrap after <3

#studying first thing at dawn just sets the day right for me and i love doing it #but i usually delegate the gym to evening hours. and yesterday i was sour as fuck after bc i just did it on empty #plus i try to get around 7-8 hours of studying in and working out earlier in the day would help me feel sm better #i need the endorphins. #and i could get some flash cards out of the way while i’m there #AND have extra time to hit my orgo lab in the evening and get in a couple hours of research #my social life has been on a major back burner but i can barely get a second to myself these days #so i’m trying not to feel guilty ab my 82727 unanswered msgs. we ball

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I just pictured this for the light arts au

Wally: go here.

Frank: into the dark?

Wally: go into the dark.

LMFAO PERFECTION, THAT MEME WAS MADE FOR THIS AU-

#*narrator voice* and he was right- #wally just gently herds him out of the main set and into the seemingly deeper shadows of the rest of the studio #c'mon c'mon he has More Horrors to expose frank to #namely: the nature of their reality and existence! #scribble salad #rambles from the bog #wh lights out au #wally: hold my hand and follow me i need to traumatize you #frank: what was that last part- #wally: dont worry about it! i love you! #GODDDDD BUT THAT MEME IS SO PERFECT #mad at myself for not thinking of it first smh #Kidding Kidding thank you for reminding me of its existence #i cackled a little when i read this ask