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#SHIT IN HIS SPEECH ABOUT STEVES TRUE CHARACTER???? HES LIKE 'i thought u were an asshole lol' COS IT WAS ALL IMPRESSIONS AND GOSSIP
kastheory · 7 months
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steve did not bully eddie in "the past" steve was a grade below him for 3 out of 4 years of his high school career freshman steve heard this weird loudass sophomore talking w his friends at 100 decibels in the hallway about fighting elves in the woods or something (steve did not know what larping was nor care to find out) and then he went to class bc are you insane hes not fucking w a sophomore you dont normally fuck w people ahead of your grade especially if they yell at people and wear chains and get into fights in the woods (with elves?) and you dont even have classes w them. you dont even care much about them in the first place beyond passing gossip like HAVE YOU GUYS EVER BEEN IN HIGH SCHOOL. sorry. anyway.
then steve keeps catching this guy in his periphery over the next two years shouting about board games and controversial food opinions and metal bands that steve likes a few songs from but could not ever imagine giving that much of a shit about. like at all. and by (steve's) year 3 the motherfucker is bouncing off the walls giving speeches about what the hell ever and saying he cant fucking WAIT to get out of this FUCKED UP PLACE!!!! YEP ITS TRUE IN LESS THAN ONE MEASLY YEAR ILL BE SAYING MY SWEET SWEET GOODBYES TO THIS BRAINLESS CONFORMIST PRISON!!!! and hardly anyone reacts beyond rolling their eyes or snickering to their friends about it and this includes steve because who cares literally who cares. this guys been causing a ruckus since the beginning of time and hes weird and unpredictable and not worth trying to shove in a locker he would probably evade the attack anyway like a nimble mouse or squirrel he might even try to bite you. and steve didnt shove anybody in lockers in the first place so who cares and yeah he has pretty eyes and a funny way of talking and moving around but WHO CARES
and then steve goes through the first round of nightmarish shit that would become a yearly ordeal and then wraps up junior year in a perfectly normal not haunted whatsoever fashion. and then hes a senior and in his subtly cringefail era (ongoing) and that freak guy is STILL HERE for some reason and kinda pissed off and possibly a bit devastated about it so okay great now steve has a few classes with this angry weirdo loudguy but. crucially. he has had a lot of OTHER SHIT to deal with lately (MONSTERS ARE REAL) (GIRL DIED IN HIS POOL) (GF RESENTS HIM) (HAS NO FRIENDS) (COLLEGE APPS) so the only effect eddie's constantly loudmouthed & often unwarranted input during class ever has is that it adds a little flavor to the constant metaphorical and literal headache of steves life.
and then he goes through round 2 of shit and finishes his senior year with little hope for a satisfying future ahead of him and never once thinks about that guy again except when his fellow grads whisper about oh my godd did you hear that the freak flunked out again hahaha and yep sure enough eddie's not there at the graduation ceremony. and he thinks huh i wonder what his fucking problem is and then he MOVES ON. the end. thats the extent of """their past""" at least in terms of any actual interactions btwn the two of them i promise okay listen to me. i was there
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Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]
So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.
Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad
Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.
STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.
IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!
The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.
STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.
Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him
So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.
NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT
The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable
Those husky animation models suck lmao
Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!
God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it
Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that
But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????
Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden
This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh
Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)
THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much
Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)
Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens
On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending
Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other
YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).
Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last
Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!
Oh never mind slavery trollmarket
Bruh titanic camelot
I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things
NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH
STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER
THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN
WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?
Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person
For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues
Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy
Bruh I was grieving
PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference
Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?
NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS
Oh thank God he's okay
NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD
oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))
But I want to see him again
But I'm glad to see vex
Yay they're in arcadia!
But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((
Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)
Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them
Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus
DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE
Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.
BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.
Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.
Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???
And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole
And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!
THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!
BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????
Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭
Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora
HUZZAH
NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????
STAB THAT BITCH JIM
WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED
Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it
SEVEN KIDS?????????
T O B Y ????????????
W A I T NO
N O
IS HE ACTUALLY
OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE
NO THERE ISN'T
F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED
Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS
I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH
W A I T
HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????
HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????
WAIT IS HE
BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON
HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????
BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending
TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all
And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.
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rosaliestark01 · 4 years
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Like Father, Like Daughter
Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader & Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Requested by @ritiizzxxx : Hey I have a request can u do it where reader is Tony Stark's daughter and he has kept her a secret n when she was 15 and graduated from MIT and started creating her own tech then Tony decided to let the world know about her daughter. and also can u add some scenes where she's being sassy and sarcastic my father with all the Avengers.
Warnings: Swearing (maybe more than usual), fluff (kinda), and a bit of violence.
A/N: I’m not 100% sure if this was what you wanted, but I really hope you like it. As usual, I don’t own any GIFs and credit for the GIFs go to owner.
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“Tony Stark, is it true that you have a daughter?”
“Is it Y/N?”
“Is Y/N Vulpine?”
Tony should have known that sending you to college at a young age would have major repercussions. You were already an intern at Stark Industries and after graduating at the top of your class at MIT at only fifteen year years old, he should have know that people would start to suspect something.
You majored in Physics and Engineering, just like him, but you also had a Masters degree in Business and Finance. Obviously, people would make the connections between you and him, but he never expected people to make the connection between you being Vulpine.
“What are you working on?” You looked up from your work station to see your dad walking up to you. 
“Just something that analyzes an opponents fighting style and predicts their next moves and what their weaknesses are,” you say. You knew that you dad had created something similar, but not to exactly like this. 
This automatically analyzes the way an opponent fights and tells you the best way to beat them in any area of combat. It would alert you if their form was ever off and would tell you the best way to use their weaknesses to your advantage.
Yep, you were definitely his daughter.
“I’m planning on installing it into mine and Peter’s suits so that we don’t repeat what happened in Symkaria.”
“What happened in Symkaria?” You freeze, suddenly realizing what you let slip. Your dad wasn’t supposed to know about Symkaria. You and Peter had agreed not to tell anyone about it because they’d probably never send you on a mission to a foreign country again.
“It was a disaster and you don’t want to know.” Your dad seemed to accept that before clearing his throat.
“So, listen. I am so proud of everything you’ve achieved,” he says. “You’re tough, smart, amazing, and-”
“What did you do?” You eyed him suspiciously. He tended to go overboard on compliments whenever he wanted something or did something he wasn’t supposed to. 
“What? Nothing. I was just going to ask how you felt about the public finding out who you really are.”
You thought about it for a second. You were ready to let the world know that you were Y/N Stark, but at the same time, it could cause major problems. Just like how Peter’s made up name is Spider-Man, your is Vulpine. Vulpine was meant to be mysterious, mischievous, and somebody nobody knew anything about. 
It made thing a lot easier when nobody knew who Vulpine was. You didn’t have to worry about people coming after you or your friends. Not that you couldn’t handle it, but the last time somebody found out who you were was a disaster.
“I’m not really sure how I feel about it,” You say thoughtfully.  “I’m nervous that if they find out I’m your daughter that they might find out about me being Vulpine.”
“I know.” You knew that he understood where you were coming from. He had stopped trusting telling people that you were his daughter after someone had tried to use you against him. “I’m nervous about that too.”
“Y/N, the download is complete,” you AI says in a gravelly voice. 
“What was that?” Your dad asks. “Did you make your own AI?” 
“Yes, I did and his name is Cas,” you giggle, knowing that that your dad would know what you were talking about. Modeled the voice exactly like it sounded on TV.
“Like that guy on TV?”
“Yep.” You become serious again, because you needed to turn the topic back to the serious conversation you were having with your dad. “Anyway, before to tell the world that I’m your daughter, we need to figure out how to keep my Avenger identity a secret. People can’t know that Vulpine and I are the same person.”
Your dad had ended up setting up a meeting will all of the available Avengers. That included Clint, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Peter. 
“We could say that Vulpine went on a vacation?” Clint suggests. He earns a few looks from people around the table for suggesting something so out of character for Vulpine to do.
“Why would Vulpine go on a vacation?” Peter speaks up. Out of everyone in the room, Peter knew the most about you and Vulpine. You were partners after all. Besides, Vulpine definitely didn’t seem like the vacation type. 
“I don’t know?”Clint said as he looked at you nervously. “Even mischievous superheros need breaks.”
“Right, because that wouldn’t be suspicious at all,” you say. Around the table you see Nat, Steve, Sam, and Bucky nodding their heads in agreement with you. Under the table, Peter gently squeezes your hand.
“I thought it was a good idea,” Clint pouts.
“What about a look alike?” Peter asks. “While Mr.Stark introduces you as his daughter, we could have a look alike do something on the other side of the city.”
“That could work if we find someone who looks like me”, you say, nodding your head thoughtfully. “Wait a second!”
“What?”
“Peter, remember when we went to that Fleetwood Mac concert in California?” You ask. Peter smiles as he remembers the time the two of you spent in California. It was good timing because there weren’t any looming threats, Peter’s school was on break, and crime in New York had been pretty nonexistent while you were gone.
Excuse me, but when was this?” your dad asked. You really need to be better at keeping these things from your dad.
“Yeah, and we made clones of ourselves so that nobody would notice we were gone for a whole week!” Peter, ignoring your dad, says excitedly. You couldn’t blame him. You and Peter had a really great week.
“You made clones of yourselves?” Steve finally pipes up.
“They’re more like interactive holograms that we downloaded our daily routine and personalities into.”
“Definitely her father’s daughter.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you smile. 
“Normally, I would ground both of you for running off for a week” Your dad starts.  “but I’m impressed so I’ll let it slide.”
“Peter and I will probably have to go digging through my lab to find them first, but I’m sure we could get them ready.” You look at Peter, making sure he was okay with that.
“Great. You two do that. I’ll go schedule a press meeting.” The meeting pretty much broke up the second your dad left the room. You and Peter walked hand in hand to your lab that was right across from your room. You usually kept it pretty neat and tidy... except for the storage room. 
It took about twenty minutes longer than you expected and Peter had to do most of the heavy lifting, not that you minded.
“I just realized how useful these could be,” you say as you and Peter begin to set up the ones modeled after yourselves. “Just think of all the prank we could pull everyone.”
“They could also be useful on missions. Like decoys,” Peter tells you. You may have graduated college when you were fifteen, but sometimes you wondered who the actual genius in this relationship was.
“Pete, your a genius!”
“Says the girl who graduated from MIT when she was fifteen,” Peter blushes. 
“Says the boy who is way smarter than he let’s on,” you say back to him. Sometimes it was like he didn’t know how smart he really was. You knew for a fact that he is probably smarter than all of his teachers combined.
“Enough flirting! Just find your freaking clones!” Sam yells as he walks past your room. 
“After what happened in Symkaria, I can flirt with whoever I want!” You yell back. Yeah, Symkaria ended up being a disaster, but at least it was the push you and Peter needed to confess your feelings for one another.
“But just me, right?” Peter asks.
“Just you.” You plant a soft kiss on his cheek before the two of you get back to work. 
The next morning, you and Peter sent your “clones” to Brooklyn while you and Peter went to the press conference that your dad had set up. You couldn’t believe how crazy these reporters were asking. It was a lot of one talking right over the other so you couldn’t understand a single thing any of them were saying. Finally, your dad had somehow managed to shut them all up
“You all ask if Y/N is my daughter, and it’s easy to see why.” Your dad gets started on the speech that Pepper had made for him, but then he puts the cards down, planning to talk for himself. “She is gifted, talented, probably smarter than me, and an overall amazing person. She has created tech that I have never even thought of and she’s been an intern at Stark Industries since she was only eight years only. Y/N Stark is my daughter.”
“Is Y/N Vulpine?” a blonde reporter asks. That causes the other reporters to stark buzzing out questions too before your dad quiets them again.
“Y/N is not-” Before he could finish, you spot an all too familiar looking face. Freaking Symkaria.
“Fucking shit!” You say, letting your frustration out before the Symkarian guard pulls out a sword and approached you and your dad with it. Peter tries to stand protectively in front of you (you’re pretty sure he just wants to get back at the guard for what he did) but you push Peter away. He doesn’t have his web shooters or his suit.
Luckily, you were trained by both Nat and Bucky. Each time the guard swung the sword at you, you were able to dodge it with ease. Working around the guard as he kept swinging at you, you sneakily removed his belt. After you had it, you wrapped it around his hand that he held the sword with, effectively causing him to drop his weapon. 
“You will never get away with what you did.” The guard hisses out at you with his German-like accent. “Prince Adonis will have his revenge.”
“Seriously?”You dad asks looking amused. “Whatever happened to ‘the world must never know’”
“That was before I was attacked,” you shrugged. There was no way in hell that people would believe that you and Vulpine were two separate people now. You literally just disarmed a Symkarian guard on live TV. “Would you like to do the honors?” you ask you dad, giving him permission to tell the world.
“The truth is...” he begins but you decided, for dramatic effect, to interrupt him.
“I am Vulpine.”
A/N: Again, I’m still not sure if this was what you wanted, @ritiizzxxx​ , but I hope you still like it.
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girlbookwrm · 5 years
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AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR
THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH
it took us two entire days to watch this, back in whenever we were watching this. I’ve got a Bundle of Papers here in front of me, and the CW Bundle is by far the thickest, and that’s with minimal salt content.
Speaking of Salt: The Roommate and I had to approach this as an Avengers movie. Because otherwise the salt levels in this would be toxic, possibly fatal. Even so, ppl with high cholesterol be warned
LET’S DO THIS
1991!
Winter Soldier: 
what is this
what is this please
dat beef tho
what is this op sec
honestly
NO mask
SHINY FUCKOFF ARM just HANGING OUT
CCTV???
~ooooooo he’s a ghooooooooooooost~
he’s got an extremely dedicated and very harried cleanup crew is what he’s got
OH! OLD LOGO ILU!!!
LAGOS!!
The Roommate: That’s a lot of sugar
i ain’t judging
what, you think her powers run on optimism?
is there an accent? is there not? Shroedinger’s accent.
droney the drone
sam’s lil sky roomba
i love him
guhhhh this scene every line shows character and growth and i just *clenches fist*
did
did falcon just throw steve
just yeeted him at the enemy?
god i love that
also: has steve bulked up since TWS?
that’s also on Sam, yeah?
CUT THE CHEEEEECCCCK
is this fucking NEUROTOXIN? STEVE WHERE’S UR MASK?
Steve, throwing himself into a room full of an unknown poison gas without a mask: I bet i can survive this
Bucky, in Bucharest: *breaks whatever he’s holding without knowing why*
god i love sam
“I don’t work like that no more” Means ?????????????
PARKOUR NAT
is also BRUNCH MOM NAT
“both grunting” is always one of my favorite subtitles
2 white boys fighting in the middle of the street like it’s a video game
god someone took the murder strut to heart wow that is some. that is some something that’s for sure.
give me even one (1) heterosexual explanation for "your pal your buddy your bucky"
there’s no way that bucky ever said this, right? this is just Rumlow fucking with steve, and the screenwriters fucking with us
because IN CASE YOU WERE NOT IN THIS FANDOM IN 2016, WE ALL THOUGHT CAP WOULD DIE IN THIS MOVIE
WE WERE SO SURE
wow i wonder if that will be relevant to anyone’s emotions here in the year of our lordt 2019
anyway, what bucky actually said was:
“please tell rogers... that he’s a big dumb dildo and he should wear a gas mask and also a parachute.”
listen i love this opening scene but also wanda is not at all responsible for this explosion and the fact that they act like she is undermines my ability to suspend my disbelief.
DIGITAL ENYOUTHENMENT ALERT
also, tony the fact that you are using your literal dead mom as an actual therapist is
wow
BARF feels right to me
too real, tony
it’s too real
how ARE you getting around the strings and taxes tho
Also can i say that i actually love that Pepper’s absence is this profoundly important to the story. The hole where pepper should be is a huge part of this story and i like that. i like that a lot.
WOW THAT EXTRA IS LIKE A MASHUP OF NAT AND WANDA. SHE IS THE GENERIC MARVEL WHITE LADY
more a+ visual storytelling with the elevator
I’m just so mad that they blame wanda and play that straight?
all they had to do was outright acknowledge one (1) time that the media is picking on her because she’s a woman/a foreigner
imagine that speech coming from nat instead of steve
though i do love Steve’s pep talk
again. give me one (1) heterosexual explanation
though why not have Steve say “they’re just bullies, you did the right thing” and hearken back to smolsteeb
The Roommate: Remember how i was mad at his Oscars Velvet Blazer? I am also mad at this sweater.... it looks... so soft... i don’t know if i want it on him or off him... just wanna tuch....... and wear..........?”
Vision’s Ascot is. Something else man.
The Roommate: Why is ross secretary of state?
Me: Why is Trump President
Me: I bet Ross is vegan
the roommate, who has vegan-related trauma: UUUUGGGHHHHHHHH
Nat's reaction to vigilantes: Bitch please. she is Unbothered.
you don’t have to show us footage we’ve got the ptsd nightmares
400 pages in 3 days
[tired american sighing]
we honestly can’t even criticize this plot point anymore just
[my longest and most american sigh]
CLEVELAND!!!
hail hydra continues to be the Most Terrible last words
but WHY does ross have the congressional medal of honor
do you know how HARD it is to get one of those????
yeesh
sassy black friends sassing at each other
is definitely a
thing that is happening rn
Vision: Well Actually
no one cares, vis
ok like
a kid is dead but
3.6 is an okay GPA
maybe all my friends are overachievers
maybe it’s just because most of them are women but like
it’s an okay GPA
i’d have 8000% more respect for Tony if he was more upfront like “look this is on me” especially here
are we supposed to be picking all this up as subtext, actually?
because i know that this movie ALSO had a Troubled Youth ala ant man
and i really do appreciate the Russos for relying on a smart audience but there’s a lot going on
and it’s very obvious to me that they had to shift gears 18,000 times in the script writing phase
so like, you’ve got old man vet steve
but it’s painfully obvious that he missed vietnam right?
like
it’s painfully obvious
and he’s v egotistical and self righteous too 
it IS a battle of the egos
and no one is right
except natasha
Steve: i have to go
me: mood
LONDON!!!!
oh god
oh god no
steve god no steve oh god
gfhskfdjjjksjdjjhrrrrhrhhrhfhh [wailing and rending of garments]
Re Peggy’s age:
SURPRISE IT’S ACTUALLY PLAUSIBLE
so the True Hallmark of a Cap Movie is Peggy telling steve what to do.
so weird to have that in an avengers movie
i do love this. GOOD BRO NAT CONTENT
Um. is vision a minor? is wanda?
again, nat is the only Correct one here
stay together guys
it might be
reeeeeeaaaaally important in 
*checks watch*
two years’ time.
~hug~
VIENNA!!!!!
CHAD WICK! CHAD! WICK! CHAD! WICK!
god i love the xhosa in this
There is a level of worldbuilding in this that we p much only get from the russos/markus&mcfeely. i mean -- internal consistency worldbuilding? if that makes sense? we get a lot of visual worldbuilding in black panther, but this is distinctly different and hard to articulate and it has to do with the way they approach things and how they assume audience intelligence
it just works for me
oh no chadwick boseman don’t be cry
Sharon deserves better
than being cockblocked by her own aunt
and also sam wilson (who also deserves better)
cryptid!bucky
Nat did you get that suit from jenny agutter?
LA Brunch Mom Nat
mah girl
she’s just so tired
steve (bless him) is just so exhausting
couples date sam and steve dressed to match
“at the gym”??? really? the arm is... a bit of a giveaway
i do feel bad for zemo in this one specific case
russian IS hard
how. did he get that in there?
Soft Plumboy Bucky
BEEF
Captain’s Log: Buck’s place is a shithole
Sergeant’s Log: Steve’s face is pretty
surprise bitch
“That’s Smart, Good Strategy” is an excellent phrase to use in everyday conversation in order to weed out who Knows and who Doesn’t.
What i have learned from civil war: 
Captain America is a projectile weapon
further query:
did bucky ever hurl small steve at assailants?
Bucky: *punts steve down an alley*
Steve, 90 lbs of rage at 90 mph: GET WRECKED
Bucky’s got big tommy wiseau cryptid energy here
And now there’s a cat
bucky:
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I love this vampire running and also bucky’s thighs
Steve Rogers: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YEET.
Bucky Barnes: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YOINK.
Bucky and Steve: Wrecking your morning commute since 2014
WAR MACHINE!!!
god vis has the biggest dorkiest crush
so vis are you a child prodigy? or? what?
The Roommate, a cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure: vis have you eaten anything between CW and IW?
Me, sinnamon roll, not to be trusted: *dying* *thinking about how Vision’s got schroedinger’s dick. does it exist? does it not exist? who knows.*
Me: Y. Yes. I th. think he has. eaten something. between now and. and IW. something.
The Roommate: *betrayed look*
Me: DEEP FRIED KEBAB MAYBE? I DON’T KNOW.
The Roommate: *is so disappointed*
BERLIN!!!!!!
Bucky is. So tired. Let him rest.
fucking up the morning commute again i see
u like cats??
I love the ratio of overkill:ineffectiveness with this glass box they put him in.
why did tony  bring these fancy pens
the time spent explaining them could’ve been spent doing literally anything else
*i still don’t understand the accords*
GOD STEVE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE SO BAD
“my fault”
there it is
“truth is i don’t want to stop”
THERE it is
“i thought the accords could split the difference”
THERE IT IS
"no, i don’t.”
THERE IT IS
“IT’S INTERNMENT.”
THERE! IT! IS!
gah.
wanda’s accent et al -- MAKE IT EXPLICIT MARVEL YOU COWARDS
no but really what are the accords
here followed a 20-30 minute convo about the accords
basically the summing up was:
Nat is 100% Right Ross is 100% Wrong Everyone Else is In A Grey Area
look this is actually a really good avengers movie
but
this is a moment when the back catalogue works against them because this conversation is so -- it implies a lot of friendly interactions between these two. they seem to have a relationship
but i keep looking at all the other movies they’ve interacted in like
BITCH WHERE? WHERE IS THE TONYSTEVE FRIENDSHIP? WHERE???
i am anticipating this will cause me A Grief later
The Roommate, looking at Steve in his Grey Shirt and Jacket: Damn, sir. Stop wearing clothes.
“BIRD COSTUME???”
“j a m e s”
big holt talking to rosa vibes there
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
A VAST AND MIGHTY MOOD
Zemo’s plan is so ridiculous i genuinely don’t have time to get into it i still have two pages of notes to get through holy shit.
this fight scene. does things. for me.
hhhHNNNNHGH BEEFSTEAK
(oh tony left with no suit? growth dot gif)
THIGHS
T H I G H S ! ! ! !
CHADWICK!
Sam out here, serving looks, casually modeling
B I C E P S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
TOO SEXY! *crashes helicopter*
I need twelve more scenes of steve and bucky faffing about in the water.
A more effective restraint than the custom made bucky bottle
(BRIEF 1991)
haaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAa biceps u stop that
Is Tony having a heart attack???
he has no concept of how to treat children because he never was one oh no i gave myself a sad feeling
QUEENS!!!!!!!
“I’m having a big fight in a parking lot with my superhero friends better go pick up a child as backup.” - tony stark
tony he doesn’t have a passport and if he understood what was happening he would not be on your side
Now That’s What I Call Vigilantism.
Why are you bringing a CHILD to a gun fight
Tony’s face, to me, suggests that he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing
also? it’s painfully obvious to me that these scenes were copypasted in late stage when they finally found out that yes they would have the rights to spiderman lol
for some reason they don’t feel the need to tell is that this is avengers compound in 400 point font
i’m so lost
where are we?
without the 400 point font i can only assume we are on mars
THAT’s a fine way to greet YOUR FATHER, WANDA
hawkeye is in fact the team lynchpin
is it
ugh
is it because they listen to him but he listens to natasha
ugh
i bet it is
UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Vision: I have been FALLING! for THIRTY MINUTES!
“i know someone who does”
i’m confused by the cut here, because it seems to imply that Sharon, deliberately or inadvertently, rats them out to natasha?
Birds and raccoons do not get along
steve
steve no
steve
ur timing is shit steve
Scott Lang might be the best thing in this movie
well except for Dat Bone Structure
CUT THE CHEEEEEECK
*costume change in a parking lot to the yakkety sax soundtrack*
Thinking about the coming battle i am forced to concede that Iron Man Has A Point?
“do you really want to punch your way out of this?”
Steve: I ALWAYS wanna punch my way out
god scott’s such a fukkin nerd
tiny quibble but Scott “got punched by hope van dyne” lang would never say that to the black heckin widow
“gimmick”
um
people in falcon houses shouldn’t throw spider stones, samuel
wanda
those cars belong to people
oh god iron man has a point
LET’S GO LESBIANS! COME ON LESBIANS LET’S GO
*catfight sounds*
“then why did you run?”
dude you attacked me in a catsuit
Tony’s true superpower is that he knows steve, that’s how spiderbabby gets the upper hand
althought god
Tony was pre-gaslighting peter
he was pilotlighting peter
*my longest UGH yet*
“Queens?” “Brooklyn”
MAXIMUM NEW YORK ACHIEVED
ant man is the MVP
hmmmmmm “we don’t trade lives” HMMMMMMMMM
why did that truck explode
also *omg iron man has a point*
tony tedward stark how did you not know how old this child was
also peter stop pretending you don’t know what Empire Strikes Back, AT-ATs and Hoth are.
why doesn’t Vis get more flack for this
hey. hey tony. you know what sam is? A MEDIC. maybe let him LOOK AT YER FRIEND THERE instead of SHOOTING HIM IN THE FACE.
zemo’s plan is noooooonseeeeennnnnnsssse
guh these two beautiful men emoting in different directions KILL ME
this doctor is just like “yup there’s a giant purple robot here seems legit”
natasha is the only one who’s 100% right
did... did the russos kill themselves in this movie? did they cast themselves as dead extras? was this a statement of some kind?
HOW did ross get the congressional medal of honor. H O W.
“you read it”
NO ONE READ IT, IT’S 400 PAGES
tony this is Some Nonsense
ffflslkds he’s taking one of Nat’s guns KILL ME
one (1) heterosexual explanation.
rode back in a freezer truck
got pneumonia
already had pneumonia
and you blew three whole dollars on some slut
(seriously. gimme one. i’m waiting.)
srsly tho, whether you ship it or not, these two are old marrieds
the red star looks weird on his beefcake arm. did they forget to scale it up?
KITTY
listen zemo is just really turned on by cam and he didn’t mean to say that and that’s the most relateable thing he’s done so far.
It’s not just that bucky killed his mom. it’s that bucky killed his mom AND STEVE KEPT IT FROM HIM.
life alert a senior citizen has fallen
T'Challa, observing this White Nonsense™: I truly should... check myself. Before! I wreck myself.
agism is what it is
god this bit
steve dropping the shield
look at him
he is Stick A Fork In Him D O N E
Rhodey really deserves better than this? He deserves development showing the evolution of his opinion between here and IW
i wish we could get more of him grappling with this
that said
gosh wouldn’t it fucking suck if Cap and Bucky got relegated to End Credit scenes in their own got damn movie to make room for Iron Man to emote at his buddy his pal his rhodey?
*looks directly into the camera like i’m on the office.*
Anyway.
Steve rogers: getting the last word in every argument since 1918.
“from the bottom of my heart: My Bad.”
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