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bondsmagii · 3 years

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Miceal i just saw one of those ‘read a real book lmao fanfics are inferior’ post and i guess i read it in a bad timing but it makes me feel kindda shitty :)) because as a fic writer i treat my work as if it were to be fit for publishing (amateur, i guess, because my editor is a friend who aspire to be one) and reading that take just make me go ???????

I just wonder if these people ever consider how much work writers have put to their works. Like ofc i know there are tons of rough works out there but still at least those people... tried? (And even if they didnt like... so what honestly)

Idk i guess i need a bit of your sharp insight on all these ur like a ray of light in the middle of these mess of sewage gas tbh

this attitude makes me curl my lip like a YA villain honestly... very bad take. sure, there are shitty fanfics out there, but boy HOWDY there are shitty books out there too. I think this attitude has come, partially, from the toxic fandom environment that’s so prevalent these days, because a lot of these terrible takes come from people who could benefit from reading other works outside of a fandom context and you know, learning how content works in the real world. (especially with regards to warnings and censorship.) unfortunately people have taken this attitude and ran with it, and also generalised to everyone who interacts with fanfic, and because they want someone to attack they blame the writers, and... yeah. messy, and ironically the precise kind of cold take that comes from being terminally online (just like what they’re accusing the people they’re attacking of!).

but to get to the point: I’m a serious writer, writing is now officially my full-time job, I aim to be published sooner rather than later, I read 100+ books a year... and I write fanfic. the biggest project I’m working on right now (currently 150,000 words and nowhere near done; will likely be around 400,000 words when I finish) is a fanfic for a YouTube horror series that was active in 2009-2014. I don’t read a lot of fanfic, admittedly, but out of the ones I have read I remember some of them as vividly as I do my favourite books, and I also write a lot of it and I have been doing so since I was 13 or 14 years old. I’ve seen this argument so many times, and it’s bullshit. literally all the writers I know also write fanfic alongside their original projects, and some of them write exclusively fanfic. does this make them lesser writers? absolutely not. to be a writer all you need is a story to tell, and all you need to do is write it down. boom. that’s all it takes.

guaranteed the people who say this shit aren’t writers themselves, and if they are I do worry about the... quality of their work. I also wonder how much they actually read, or if it’s more an aesthetic/gotcha than an actual passion. people with this kind of attitude tend to be very pretentious and certainly more concerned with putting other people down than practising their art or actually engaging meaningfully in their hobbies, and as a certified Book Person I resent how people like this give us normal readers a bad name. as somebody passionate about writing, and who intends to make it my career, I support writing in all its forms. nothing is lesser. nothing “isn’t real writing”. if you tell a story, and it makes you feel something, and if you choose to share it, it goes on to make others feel something? you’ve done your job. you’ve created something good, you’ve worked hard and it’s paid off, you’ve practised your craft and done something you’re proud of, and another thing exists in the world be it for your eyes only or not. what have these people done? been a clown on tumblr dot com, but that’s about it.

#anon #asks

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fanfictionized · 6 years

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Help Me Help You - EXmode (5/?)

Character: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader / OFC

Chapter summary: They've finally cracked Hydra's database, meaning that they have a name; The next one of Hydra's victims and they need to find her before they do.

Also they have more of an idea of what enhancement-program they're dealing with...Something familiar, perhaps?

Warnings: Mentions of torture and death, angst?

Words: 1.9k

Previous Chapter // Help Me Help You - Masterlist

“It didn’t occur to me until I tried matching the people’s blood samples up with the rest in S.H.I.E.L.D’s database.” Bruce recited as he called up the different hemograms. Bucky wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking at, numbers and percentages listed in tabular form that didn’t make a whole lot of sense to him.

Bruce rambled on about the numbers and percentages and Bucky noticed that he was not the only one drifting off until the next swipe with his hand showed a microscopic animation of real blood cells. He remembered that much from school. Micrography had been quite a new technology, allowing to show real, yet blurry and black and white examples over a projector. But that was nothing compared to this.

Those cells were red and pink with a purplish center and it seemed as if they were vibrating as they coursed slowly into one direction like a current. The dark purple was starting to spread out into its entirety, the yellowish green edges of the cell beginning to extend small antenna-like arms that wiggled their way outside the cell. Bucky had never, in any way, been good at biology or science, but he didn’t need to to determine it strange. Nothing but normal.

“But I had kept myself so busy with the mutation in your blood and what the super serum did to you” He continued, looking at both Steve and Bucky “That I didn’t think about the rest of Hydra’s altering experiments.” His head turned towards Wanda. She had been staring at the screen for quite some time now.

“It’s… mine, isn’t it? My blood?” She asked cautiously and Bruce nodded, pushing back the glasses onto his nose and continued explaining with a soft tone to his voice.

“Strucker’s experiments were revolutionary after Zola’s.” Bucky looked up at the familiar name, a shiver running down his spine. “It seems as if Hydra has gotten more information on how to put both of their lives’ work together.”

“To create the ultimate weapon. Indestructible and enhanced.” Vision stated as he had entered the room by floating through the glass. Another thing Bucky wouldn’t be able to get used to. It was only the third time he had seen him. He had disappeared to go on his own mission weeks before. Something about S.H.I.E.L.D he assumed, but it didn’t really matter anyway.

“Vis!” Wanda squealed excitedly as she saw him floating towards her and wrapped her arms around him. The others smiled and greeted him back. “Vision is right. I’m not just talking about your super strength or physical resilience” He looked back at Bucky and Steve “Or your enhanced abilities, Wanda. This could be a whole new thing.” He shook his head in disbelief as he showed the next picture.

A sea of dark purple spots trembling across the screen. The room got quiet as everyone watched the oval cells with jet-black cores quivering with, what everyone assumed; pure fucking energy.

“What the hell is this?” Sam asked, clearly shocked. “That’s the sample of Nina Alice, one of the victims.” Bruce added before Sam interrupted him “And let me guess; the others look exactly like hers?” Bruce nodded. “More or less, yes. You can see a slight change in the bloodstream, but my guess is that Hydra is still playing with the formula…” “But” Natasha inquired “They were all dead when they found them, right?” Her voice was laced with something Bucky had never heard from her. Possible fear of what they were facing. “Yes, unfortunately-” Bruce began but she continued. “Then how… are the cells still moving?”

Goosebumps crawled over Bucky’s skin at the realization and the others looked just as horrified as him as they faced each other. Bruce sighed deeply.

“All of them were found within 24 hours after their initial time of death. The autopsy showed that even though their hearts had stopped beating, they were not quite… dead… in a literal sense.” “What are you talking about?” Wanda asked, as confused as the rest of the group. “Their brains are still active. Something inside them was still keeping them alive for a couple more hours.” “The new serum?” Natasha asked. “Probably.” Tony responded “Their brains’ activity essentially shut down after an average of 16 hours after their death.” “Actually, post-mortal brain activity is not uncommon, but the average time span for that is maybe up to six minutes.” “Not sixteen hours…” Steve repeated calmly as he looked down, either thinking or processing. “How the fuck are you so calm? Man, we got a new Hydra weapon that could take us all down, how are you not freaking out right now?” Sam clearly wasn’t. Rightly.

Bucky’s own heart had begun to thump inside his chest at a maddening pace. He didn’t want to imagine what those people must’ve gone through in comparison to him. His story was one to ignite nightmares by its own. He had gone a long way to become what he was, but it was the aftermath that still traumatized him. They had died getting there.

“I’m not.” Steve replied “But we might be able to stop them before anything else happens to any more civilians.” He said and gestured to Tony who was still pacing around restlessly. “…Tony? Do you know something we don’t?” Natasha asked as he picked up his tablet. “Maybe.” He shrugged and projected the picture on the screen above the table with a tap of his fingers.

“S.H.I.E.L.D has found more than one of Hydra’s programmer. They… interrogated them-” He raised his brows and Steve scoffed “What do you want from me, Cap? Because I want this to end.” Steve crossed his arms in front of him but let Tony continue.

“-Anyway, they got enough information from them to add to the hacking of the system they had already achieved to find out the plan on the new serum.” The information on the operation appeared with a title.

“The Exome-Modification and Enhancement Program.” Tony said “Also called EXmode.” He remarked, letting everyone observe the information in front of them. “We have the names of the victims right here- “ “Along with their process-evaluation during their treatments.” Bruce finished his sentence “They never wrote down the actual formula, but what it did to the people as they used it on them.” “Something like a fucked-up diary…” Sam muttered angrily. Bruce began to look more and more depressed during the course of explaining the current situation.

“They have all the names here in order. But not only the ones that were found… but also the ones they still… want to experiment on.” “There, after Yorick Lambert.” Natasha pointed out the name on the sheet. “Has anyone after him been reported missing yet?” “Not yet, no.”

Annabelle Feldner. Bucky read inside his head. She was the next one on the list, right underneath Yorick. There was nothing else, no date, no information.

“We need to find her, Tony.” It just slipped out, his thoughts running freely and he felt the need to express them. “We can’t let them get to her.” All eyes were on him. Although he didn’t speak much, his words had value once they were out. And of cause he was right, they all knew it.

“S.H.I.E.L.D is already on it.” He assured him, but it didn’t quite answer his question. “Are they bringing her to a safe location?” Bucky asked, but Tony only fidgeted on the spot, looking over at Bruce who was already eyeing him.

“Not exactly…” Bucky’s scalp began to prickle, the fiery sensation spreading over his skin. Nausea settled inside his stomach the second he thought about other people living through the same hell as he did. This was no longer a simple mission. This was personal.

“What do you mean…?” His voice was low and dark. “Well, first off; There are a few Annabelle Feldners on the face of the earth. Trying to find out which one Hydra is interested in is a bit of a predicament since we still don’t know what connects all of them.” He tried to explain. Bucky’s shoulders tensed up.

“Second, I have my doubts S.H.I.E.L.D will tell us once they’ve figured that one out, because, well…” He sighed and took off his yellow sunglasses “They still don’t have the serum. My guess is that once they know which Annabelle they’re after, they will wait for Hydra to show up so they can see where they’re taking her.” All of them listened carefully as he explained his theory.

“Of cause this is all just assumption, but I’ve known those guys for a couple of years. They are trying their best to find her, but also they won’t let an opportunity like this slip through their fingers. Thinking about the greater good- “

“No way.” Bucky interrupted as he stood up, almost knocking over his chair. He was angry. Tired of this, but mostly angry. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t let one more person be the victim of the “greater good” because the “greater good” had him killing pointlessly for decades for it. Who were they to decide if they could spare that life? They would take Hydra down to help themselves to their knowledge to use it for whatever, but not for the greater good. “They can’t do that.”

“I’m afraid that’s not up to you anymore.” Tony said and sunk back into his chair with a huff “We’ve come this far but I wouldn’t count on S.H.I.E.L.D taking us any further than that. Maybe they’ll call us if they want their base destroyed or their agents taken out. But I doubt they’ll let us know about the formula once they have it. They want to avoid this- “He pointed at Bucky, Steve and Wanda “-happening again. Not unless they know how to control it.” “So what? You’ll let them play god?” Bucky asked incredulously. “Buck…” Steve started reaching for his friend’s arm but he pulled it back. “Bucky is right.” Wanda agreed and stood up as well “You’ll never know what it’s like to be experimented on like that. They cut you open, the pump you full of stuff that makes your veins burn and make you wish you were dead.” Tony lowered his head at her words and even though she had hit a blade in his heart with the accuracy of her words, Bucky was proud of her speaking up as well.

“They don’t have a voice, Tony. But they don’t deserve it. No one does and that should be out first priority instead of being sad because we cannot change how it is.” “She’s right, you know.” Sam muttered. “I know!” Tony groaned “Of cause I know that.” “We’re Avengers.” Steve spoke “We need to stand up for the little guys. Especially since no one else will.”

Bucky chuckled. Captain America in its full glory. He was expecting nothing less. “Then it’s settled.” Vision spoke with a faint smile on his lips. “Oh, so what now exactly? I’m supposed to break into S.H.I.E.L.D’s security network?” Tony huffed sarcastically. “Haven’t you already...?” Bruce asked him, but Tony immediately tried to shush him. “Shhht! All right, okay.” He threw his hands into the air dramatically “God, I feel stupid for saying this, but let’s spy on S.H.I.E.L.D.” “We can do it. As a team.” Steve said and Tony rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Miss American beauty pageant. I’ll do most of the work anyway so lay back until I’ve found a name.” Everyone laughed at that.

Next Chapter

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #help me help you

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