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#Our Starlight TAEIL Day
nanakpoparchive · 2 years
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO #TAEIL
WE💚YOU
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hhh-honey · 2 years
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April 7, 2022
Last night, my tita and tito were fighting AGAIN due to my cousin. I don't know the exact number of fights they have for this month. My cousin, on the other hand, looks like does not care about it. She even guilt tripping them by not answering their calls, text messages, and chats. She does not admit she is in fault even though she is really the one who's in fault. I've been living here for five years and I have not seen any changes in her behaviour. To be honest, her behaviors have been affecting me not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. Some examples of her actions that I really hate are:
asking what's our food for the day although the food is already in front of her
not flushing the toilet every time she's taking a dump
ordering her younger siblings for something she that she can do naman agad
Some of you might be thinking that I am making it a big deal but she does more than that. She's been smoking marijuana. I think marijuana affects her attitude that her behavior became severe. She does not care in her surroundings, all she thinks is herself. Something that she could do for house and her siblings are passed to me. And I've been suppressing my emotions because I don't want conflict with the family, especially that I am indebted to them.
My tito is the only one who's working for the family that is why I understand his tiredness. He's tired because of work and then would get frustrated as he found out my cousin is not at home ++ she does not study. My tita, in contrast, is permissive of her. When tito said that he wants to kick her out, my tita opposed him. She said "ano ka ba, kung palayasin mo. babae yan. Tsaka walang alam yan. Eh kung anong mangyari jan?" And I agreed na delikado nga pero kahit ano naman gender delikado ah (i was just disappointed. Napaisip tuloy aq what if lalaki yon, oks lg ba sa kaniya?) At some point I don't believe na wala siyang alam. She can do bad habits nga eh and namamanipulate niya parents niya, so panong walang alam? I don't hate my cousin, I am just mad that I want her to really learn her lessons na, yong magbabago na talaga siya. My cousin was not directly/intentionally doing me wrong but naaalala ko pa how she made me felt down for a week because she said that "Bakit ganyan kinuha mong course? Hindi bagay sa iyo. Dapat madaldal ka." I've been doubting myself and she made it worse. I know it is wrong pero I even considered telling her na "oks lg, ikaw nga walang alam sa bahay at sa pakikipagkapuwa tao" but, it's childish and bad so I chose to be quiet. Now, I am overthinking kung maniniwala pa ba ako na magbabago siya o hindi. Hindi ko kayang hindi pansinin talaga.
My Thursday is extra sad because it's been 4 days since I've seen the ending of twenty five twenty one and I don't think I would be able to move on from it. I don't have the energy to watch the last two episodes of a business propasal because of it. I also can't listen to starlight, which was sang by Taeil, a member of my favorite Kpop boy group Neo Culture Techology (NCT) because all I can remember is the pain.
This is my first time sharing what is happening in the house, thanks Tumblr for letting me.
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warmau · 4 years
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☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au taeil~ happy late birthday moon man!! |  find others here: johnny  | haechan
part of you is sad that the closest you’ll ever be to him is at a safe distance
peering out of the window and into the baseball field below
you can kind of make out the details of his face from here, but you can’t see the birthmark on his neck or the glint of starlight thats always somehow in the deep back of his eyes
you can see the worn-out back of his uniform jersey - spelled out in hand-stitched letters - moon
but part of you is happy that you can at least enjoy the comfort of knowing he’s nearby
just the little whisper of the fact that his joy is minutes away from yours
you lay your head down on the desk
its the last day of classes and summer is begging you to go outside and enjoy it 
but summer also means you wont see him anymore, even if youve only been seeing him from far away
not seeing him at all is a feeling you cant wrap your head around - no matter how many times youve tried to 
“what are you doing?”
a hand comes down on the corner of the desk and you peek up to see the familiar, yet frowning face of your friend doyoung
he’s got the same baseball uniform on - he’s the pitcher for the schools team
“sorry, im about to leave-”
you slowly pull yourself together and up out of your chair, but doyoung interrupts before you can gather your things
“no, im asking what are you doing? this is the last day of classes and unless you tell taeil how you feel - you’ll have to wait months to see him again!”
im ok with that, admiring in secret is kind of a talent of mine
is what you want to say
but its too late because doyoung has taken you by the wrist and is tugging you out the door and down the stairs 
you have just enough energy to pull away when you both come to a stop in the middle of the sandlot 
taeil turns just as you want to break away, he smiles and says your name 
doyoung lets go and everything around you looks like it might start floating, taeil included
because you didn’t even know he knew your name
“well, ill leave you two alone”
doyoung disappears - not that you pay any attention - all of your senses feel like they’re being overridden as taeil comes closer
his black short bangs are stuck to his forehead with sweat from practice, his skin glows under the hue of the afternoon sun
“do you have any plans for today?”
“n-no. i was just going to walk home.”
“can i walk with you?”
he swings his bat over his shoulder and waits expectantly for your answer
at this close a distance, its all visible
the birth mark - the universe in the dark browns of his eyes, the little blemish on the side of his cheek
you swallow a lump thats threatening to close up your throat
“sure”
you’re both walking slow, the other members of the baseball team have already trotted passed you
throwing whistles and waves your way before disappearing into the summer air, some people have passed you as well - on their way from work or classes
but still, that feeling like everything is gently out of place, lingers over you
because you don’t get it - why are you here? since when did your crush have any sort of interest in you?
“i asked doyoung why you never come to any of our games.”
taeil suddenly says, looking at you from the corner of his eye
his smile is a little teasing, and so is his tone, but it doesnt stop you from flustering
“oh- i just - i have book club so-”
“don’t worry, he told me.”
“im starting to worry about what else he told you,,,,,,,”
you murmur without a second thought, before covering your mouth with your palm
but its too late, you know taeil has heard you, and that smile widens a little more
“he told me, even though you dont come to any games, im your favorite player.”
you both come to a stop at the same time
“so ive been thinking about it, why id be your favorite if you dont even like baseball.”
you think youre shoulders start to shake a little, maybe its your imagination, but you think you can feel nervousness creep its way all around you
hes talking so casually, but you dont know what it means and you dont want to be told - on the last day of school - that your feelings have been discovered and rejected
you were sure you could just carry them on with you until graduation and then never tell taeil how much you really did like -
“and i think i know why.”
he takes a second to tuck his bat back into the pocket of his bag, then he reaches out and locks your fingers with his in a safe, steady grasp
he starts walking and you have to push yourself to stumble after him 
because you cant believe it but ,,,,,,,,,, you didnt get rejected
in fact you think this means,,,,,,,,youve been confessed to too
taeil doesnt kiss you when he drops you off at your doorstep, he asks for your number and tells you to meet him on the weekend to watch him train at the park
you expect a message on saturday morning, but you get one fifteen minutes later
by the way, i like you.
sorry if i didnt make it clear, im bad at these things.
but,,,,,,,,i like you. i really like you.
who knows how many times you reread those messages, holding your phone close to your heart and then bringing it up to mouth the sentences over and over
on saturday, you see taeil and doyoung - both already with their baseball equipment on
taeil is swinging the bat as he warms up when doyoung pulls you aside by the elbow
“so, are you guys dating now?”
“all he did was walk me home do-”
“but he likes you, and you like him!”
doyoung’s wide eyes are searching for an answer and you just feel a shyness overtake you because, well, you dont know what this is 
youre just happy to be here - beside him
but doyoungs question does weigh on your mind, even when the training is over and its just you and taeil and hes offering to take you somewhere for dinner and you blurt out;
“is this a date?”
taeil chuckles
“i hope it is - arent people who are dating supposed to go on dates?”
the summer descends into hot, long days - and before when the stickiness and heat used to irritate you, now youve found yourself falling in love with it
laying on a park bench, eating ice-cream and watching your boyfriend practice until the fireflies came out
then you’d sit up, watch him take his hat off and abandon his bat in the grass
stretch out, exposing the strong lines of his arms and back before joining you on the bench, getting kisses for another day of practice well spent
sometimes he’d end practice early, or show up at your doorstep when you didn’t plan to meet and take you to the beach
splash around in the waves and then rest his head on your stomach under the umbrella - shared towel spread out beneath you
he’d fall asleep there, and you’d open up a book you’d brought with you - only distracted when taeil finally shifts awake and presses kisses to your skin
you learn how to hit a homerun with his arms wrapped around you for support
you learn that he harbors an extensive collection of LPs that you shift through when the summer rain has come out and he cant go out to the park, instead you’re on the floor of his bedroom picking dreamy songs to play and dance to, washing out the sound of thunder from outside his windows
you learn where taeil is most sensitive, right below his ribcage - when you end up splaying your palm on the skin there an digging your nails in just a bit - he makes a sound and grabs your arm, pulls you down to muffle out some string of curses against your lips
you learn a lot that summer, but most of all you learn that you were never happier pinning from a distance than you are from experiencing the real thing
you hate to admit outloud, but you thank doyoung for giving you the push to finally enter the bubble around taeil you never thought you’d be welcome into
and doyoung just grins, says “i told you so”
and forgets to mention that he’s actually known about not only your feelings, but taeil’s all along - ever since a home-away game where taeil had asked doyoung before they’d climbed onto the bus 
“whose your friend? the one whose always looking out of the window?”
when the summer starts to shift herself into the fall, and the heat dwindles down
you find yourself wearing that shirt, the one with ‘moon’ handstitched on the back, as taeil wraps a hand around your waist and tugs you into his side on the bus ride home
you go back to classes soon, and your time will be short between schoolwork and his practice
he presses a small kiss on the top of your hand and you want to give him back the shirt before you get off at your stop
but he stops you, those starlight eyes sparking, “you should keep it.”
so you do 
you keep it and are amused when you see taeil get a new one, this one doesnt have his name handstitched on the back though - its printed in shiny black letters
you run your hands over the name sometimes when you miss him
waiting for a latenight call with good news
“we won the game!”
you rub your sleepy eyes and murmur that you’re so happy, before you two hang up you hear him whisper - like he always does
“i love you, i hope you dream of me”
even now, all these years later, when taeil’s become an all-star player for one of korea’s biggest baseball teams
and you’ve fallen asleep watching one of the live games 
when he gets home, your husband kicks his shoes off and drops his bag 
sees you spread out on the couch
the sports channel glaring
that old uniform shirt from his high school days tucked in your arms
he leans down, kisses your forehead and he whispers
“i love you”
you shift
eyes opening to meet his with a half smile and yawning as you say;
“i was dreaming of you.”
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strawbnie · 6 years
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im feeling a lot of things abt city 127 now im pretty sure it's decided (by fate the stars and not myself) that it is my favourite song so here r some of my favourite lyrics :] :
- affected by the starlight, so beautiful, when you looked at me time stopped
:((((((((( imagine being loved like this. i think my stomach is dropping out of my body astral projecting 2 another body
- do whatever as long as it's with you, it'll be fun all day
THTHAHHDH SO CUTUTUFUVKINGNGNG CUTEE AGAONNCN ABLUT NEINGNG LOVED LIKEMETHISIS I WANT TO BE LOVED THTHFJRJF
- taeyong's whole verse, which is basically a description of the most relaxing, windchimey date ever
.... the other members teased him as not being romantic n it's true they know better than i do but i think taeyong sees all things Love as. beautiful enriching opportunities for domesticity. they said he's too practical for romance the way johnjae for example are. but i think taeyong understands and wants love the way he raps abt it here? quality time spent together, comfort, being able to be with someone without pressure or expectations. just 2 people listening to music, enjoying nature. i think that's beautiful
- we can make our own light, look at our sparks fly
i cant think abt this line withojt my face burning up like. EVEN NOW i read it again i hhnjjjhhh started tofcjmvnvn gwt red... thisisisisiso fuckjggng cute n it's a PUN. i m so tired in a good way
- mark's (baby)
this was just self indulgent n i had to add it but every time mark says that word 5 years are added to my life!!!!!! someone b his baby quick
- im more awake at night than during the day, im probably like this city
:( i just really felt this a lot. what a beautiful, chilling line,. fuck u mark
- this one isn't the lyric itself necessarily altho it's good but what gets to me is the sound of it. neon eonjena seon-myeong-ha-ge na-meul geot gaTAaa... oooOooh baby...OoohhhhhBabyayayayay yeahHhhh ,,, my GIRL
taeil please if u ever read this think about marrying me just like. for the tax benefits? please . please be my husband
- it's so beautiful if we see this city, where we dream together, in the scattered stars
are u KIDDING me with this line. my breath stopped in my chest
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