#Not to be a hoe but... Oh My God | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wolfythewitch · 5 months

Note

How does it feel like to be a single parent raising two children

I would die for them and also they are going to get themselves and me killed one day

#noven warsh #wolfy tedtalks #chick semper tyrannis #brutus has now also learned to parkour #caesar you taught your brother hoe to parkour oh my god

1K notes · View notes

hauntingjasper · 4 months

Text

"I'm calling a truce!"

The truce in question:

#can you tell that my favorite comic of them is the spooktacular one #i love the colors they chose for Marshall oh my god they look so nice #I can't stop thinking how this pose looks similar to BB's pov of them but gayer and it wasn't even on purpose I'm crying #Gumball is a dramatic hoe no matter who's drawing him #fionna and cake #adventure time fionna and cake #fionna and cake fanart #marshall lee #prince gumball #gumlee #prince gumball x marshall lee

157 notes · View notes

buggymarsh · 1 month

Text

“Burton Guster has been my best friend since we were five,”

NO NO NO PLEASE NO LET ME LIVE

“And maybe, just maybe, if any of you can look yourselves in the mirror and know you’ve been half as good a friend to someone as Gus has been to me,”

SOMEONE SEDATE ME

“Well, you too can be considered great. Give it up for my best friend Burton Guster.” — Shawn Spencer, Psych, 3x06, Murder … ? Anyone … ? Anyone … ? Bueller … ?

crying. platonic shus is the ultimate friendship. never have i ever seen a show portray the importance and value of true friendship SO FUCKING WELL. 8 SEASONS & 3* MOVIES?? my fucking goat fr.

(*i remember watching an interview n i cant remember if it was dule hill (gus) or james roday rodriguez (shawn), i think it was the latter, who said the script for the 4th movie was being worked on, they just needed a studio to pick it up for filming (hinting that peacock wasnt sure they wanted to do another one) BUT THEY DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT I COULD BE WRONG)

#blabber ¡!#psych #psych usa #psych tv #shawn spencer #burton guster #i aspire to have a friendship like theirs #its withstood the test of time and every time a sweet moment happens i tear up #LIKE OH MY GOD IM GUS #WHERE’S MY SHAWN 🗣️#actually tho i do think i’ve found mine :]#THE POINT IS #shus is the epitome of bros before hoes #and 4lifers #and platonic soulmates #and twin flames #argue with the fucking wall

42 notes · View notes

jahiera · 9 months

Text

can I be so honest. whatever people feel about evil astarion being sexy, that's how I feel about dark justiciar shadowheart's "stop being so gentle" scene. the lip bite the blood the all of that. like okay.... well if SHE wants to lock me up in her evil shar sex dungeon-- sorry who said that

#I like evil astarion to study like a bug I just can't take him seriously ...#not in a 'oh he needs to heal :pleading:' way I'm compelled by him being evil. it's just.#take off the cazador voice you're scaring the hoes #anyways THIS ISNT ABOUT HIM. this is about evil shadowheart being. listen. listen.#haha oh my god [twirls hair] you're well-versed in torture and emotional manipulation... do you want to test it out sometime.#'try not to dream about tying me up' babygirl that is NOT what I was thinking.#bg3 spoilers #pers ⚔️

135 notes · View notes

s3v3r3dh3ad · 5 months

Text

I just know that he made people relight the candles at other kids' birthday parties so he could blow them out himself.

#punch out #punch out wii #super macho man #I don't know why I'm using past tense phrasing either bruh this mf probably still does it at the ripe age of 86 or however old he is 💀😭#I literally can't stand this hoe oh my god 😭#I love him so much but in the way that I want to fill a sock with quarters and beat him over the head with it

39 notes · View notes

annikasevenshots · 1 year

Text

HOLY FUCK

HOLY FUCK THAT IS MOTHER

#MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SORRY MOMMY SORRY MOMMY SORRY #the way i know they styled her hair for like 20 minutes to cover the pips #and for what hoe we all know she's going to captain #seven of nine #holy fuck #not to be a lesbian but oh my fucking god #jesus fucking christ god bless #star trek picard #picard spoilers

137 notes · View notes

windshieldwiper · 1 year

Text

um…so…..I feel totally okay about this…yeah…he looks so mediocre 👍

#windshield rambles (^･o･^)#IM A HORRIBLE LIAR #I SCREEECHED AT THIS #SORRY TO LIMITLESS N MITZI WHO HAD TO WITNESS THIS #GOD #OH JY FUCKING GOD HE LOOKS SO GOOD HERE I REWINDED JUST TO WATCH THIS AGAIN #IM SO FUCKING SICK IN MY STOMACH #I WANT HIM I NEED HIM HE NEEDS TO BE MINE RN #I WANNA SAY UNSPEAKABLE THINGS I WANNA DO UNSPEAKAVLE THINGS #IM GOING TO SLAM MY HEAD INTO THE WALL RN #HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOODDDDDDD OH MY GOD HE LOOKS AMAZING I WANT HIM NOW #NO YALL DONT UNDERSTAND HOE DOWN BAD I AM FOR SHIDOU #UGH I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRAW HIM WELL I NEED TO DO THIS MAN JUSTICE #I’m not a shidou apologist cuz I think he’s great the way he is #I love my men insane #I wish I could tattoo this into my brain #I want him please #I need him to devour me #sorry

69 notes · View notes

moregraceful · 11 days

Text

Whenever I feel my age in hockey fandom, I remind myself firmly: no matter what, Marc-Édouard Vlasic will always be older than you. Pictures - 1) Kitty Cat Max on patrol; 2) Magnus Chrona (6'5) standing next to a U6 goalie at the anthem; 3) full moon at night.

#having a vaguely discomfiting week #uhhh i don't know. too much and not enough to do. mostly not enough #i've been applying to some deeply hilarious silicon valley jobs #one i was editing my cover letter for and thought man. i could do this with the irc for way less money with way more stress #(international rescue committee i mean)#and then i went for it anyway. i would be good at it! i've just seen the exact same job description for charities working with refugees #the bay area is so interesting. i'm always like i love it! it's home! but how much of that is only having left it for college #but then i think about starting a new life somewhere else alone and i'm like god that sounds exhausting #lost control of my schedule again btw. forgot i had about 800 things on the calendar #i actually forgot i had therapy for four weeks straight in the last two months it's been such a mess #which i think is what happens when i have no external schedule #again i do not dream of capitalism. but i do dream of someone else giving me tasks with a set number of hours attached #if an anarachist commune told me my job was to snap the ends of string beans off for four hours i'd be like hell yeah. 4 hour task #why snapping the ends off of string beans SUCH a social activity btw #that was like THE kitchen task my mother would trust me and my sister to do on major holidays and so i have such weird fond memories of #sitting at the table snapping the ends off of string beans and talking with my sister while our family buzzed around us #i mean a lot of my core child and teenage memories are my sister and i hanging out while our parents marriage fell apart around lmfao #where was i going with this. oh right. need a job mostly bc i am going stir crazy but also bc i started private ice skating lesson which are #expensive. definitely going to help!! but expensive #but idk i am haunted and beset by living with my parents in my 30s so more reasons (practice) to get out of rhe houae #*out of the house while mostly unemployed...the better #the story of this post can be boiled down to a couple of things i think: 1. no hoes. 2. no job. 3. if i keep making these posts i have to #take more pictures of things #(<- very live in the moment kind of guy who forgets things later bc they didn't take pictures)#fresno oilers.txt

14 notes · View notes

itwoodbeprefect · 1 year

Text

this ted lasso season has been great anyway, but i was not prepared for the sheer amount of DUTCH in this week's episode. ajax. houseboats. fearing for your life in the bikelane. the heineken bottles on the table. a (one) tulip. gezellig!!! LET'S TAKE THE BUS TO GRONINGEN. IT'S TWO HOURS

#i'm not even. 23 minutes in i think but GEZELLIG made me have to hit pause. it's very good but. oh my god.#of ik bedoel uh. MIJN HEMEL i guess. hoe vloekt een mens tegenwoordig nog in het nederlands #many points for the ted lasso crew for very clearly having only actual dutch people play dutch people. thank you for my sanity #*#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers

65 notes · View notes

levinbolts · 8 months

Text

I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS AN ACTUAL DIALOGUE OPTION IM CRYING

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #valen i cannot stand u #imagine breaking into this man's house. stealing his shit. fucking his hoes. and then you say THAT to him when you get caught oh my god #raphael u definitely deserve to beat their ass i'm so sorry im not gonna let u <3

23 notes · View notes

bunny-cncunt · 2 years

Note

I brought my new pet home today. A sweet soft little bunny boy, needy and trembling. He looked so sweet at the market, trembling in his cage, watching the other pets get fucked and mounted and trying not to show how wet his pussy is.

Virgin. I paid extra for that. There’s nothing like training a toy from scratch, and he’s just perfect. I bring him to the bedroom, showing him his new home. He’s so shy, trying not to show his nervousness. So cute. I undress him gently, telling him pets don’t need clothes in the house. His chest is soft and can’t help but squeeze it. I hear him suppress a little sound, so I squeeze again. When I pinch his nipple he whines out loud and I see him clench his legs together.

Needy. His underwear has on obvious wet patch on it from his dripping hole and he blushes red when I see it. I clip him into his collar and cuffs, matching red leather around his throat wrists and ankles. I clip his chain to his collar and lead him to the bed where I clip him to my headboard. He squirms and I can see him rubbing his thighs together, trying to get some stimulation. When I grab his ankle he keens whining and resisting pull. I chuckle as I quickly over power him, chaining his ankles to the ceiling, his legs spread wide, hips cocked and holes exposed.

I admire his body, pretty flushed cheeks, pouty lips. His soft stomach and thighs. And his cock, hard and twitching, pink and gorgeous, I can’t help but salivate, wanting to take it into my mouth. And then his cunt, dripping wet and clearly needy, but previously untouched. A heady sense of power slips to my head, the knowledge that whatever I did to him would be the first time he experienced it coalescing in my mind as I select a cock and don my harness. Finally I chain his wrists to the headboard, keeping his arms out of the way.

He’s beautiful, spread out for me, completely exposed and at my mercy. I coat my cock in a thick layer of lube before lining it up with his cunt. He starts to whine and squirm, realizing what i intend to do and trying to buck away. I hold his hips steady pressing my weight on him to hold him still before pressing my hips forward. He wails out loud as my cockhead presses into him, stretching him open, as I use my body weight to slowly sink into his hole. He starts to cry when the head finally pops in, but sliding in deeper simply required a slow pressure.

As i nestle my cock against his cervix I take a moment to appreciate the sublime feeling of a virgin cunt. His hole flutters around my cock, stretched to its limits and full. I draw back slowly, savoring his sounds, stopping when my cock, is barely still inside him before thrusting all the way into the hilt in one hard stroke. He couldn’t disguise his moan through his tears, as his cunt begins to take its first fucking. I continue, pulling out nearly all the way before pounding back into him hard. With each thrust, the tears lessen, and the moans grow, and I start to fuck him faster and faster. By the time I get to a comfortably harsh pace he’s not crying at all, but starting to babble out little begging sounds.

Perfect. He is settling into his place, starting to realize that this is what his body was meant for, taking cock, over and over. When he cums, i kiss him deeply, pinching his nipples as a reward. But I don’t stop, instead pounding him into another, when I pull out a vibrator and hold it to his oversensitive cock he starts to cry again. I fuck his hole hard, and long, forcing him from orgasm to orgasm until his pussy isn’t even getting wet anymore, the harsh drag of his dry aching walls making it hard to thrust. When his cock finally stops getting hard, and his sobs have subsided into a half conscious whine I finally pull out.

His formerly tight pink hole now gaping open and flushed red, my cock having pounded him so long his poor cunt couldn’t take it. He looks perfect like this, hole gaping and sore, tongue lolling out of his mouth with half lidded eyes.

I slip a cool glass plug into his worn out cunt, keeping him full and soothing his aching hole, before unchaining him and wrapping him in a soft blanket.

I love breaking in my new toys.

xx

.

281 notes · View notes

boysbeloving · 3 months

Text

vroom vroom the series episode 10 is NOT GOOD FOR ONE'S HEALTH

#d watches vroom vroom the series #charlie is dead #kenta is freshly abused #p'babe has cried his body weight in tears #it's just....oh god it's too much #where's my pregnant men 😭#i specifically read only a/b/o pwp on ao3 #and here there's too much p in my p and it's hurting me (and also feeding my angst hoe self) so much #pit babe #pit babe the series

8 notes · View notes

satoruoo · 5 months

Note

I was the dawg anon

#ask n answer !!#∞. loves #oh my god ofc u were #OFC U WERE #I FUCKING HATE U 👎👎👎👎👎#u caused me sm grief #how long have u been haunting me thats so odd #betrayed by my fav hoe 💔💔

14 notes · View notes

nutzworth · 4 months

Note

the man with the brown skin is a human! he's dr. julian bashir :3 the lady with the spots is a trill and her name is jadzia dax! she has a sentient worm in her and is transgender. love wins!!!!

bashir bashir i know bashir! jadzia.... thats beautiful. she has a worm in her. thats beautiful. thank you oleandy my knowledge of ds9 comes from my 1 mutual and i know like 4 characters total

#me #4 characters i know: odo. goop changeling he sleeps in a bucket and hes like surly. hes beige. hes yaoi with quark #quark. he has a butt on his forehead and hes red orange and has big ears. hes a bartender. he gambles. he gets hoes? hes yaoi with odo #bashir. hes a human and a doctor. hes nice and normal. hes yaoi with Fuck. Whats his name. This next guy #kardissian.... or whatever... hes ugly... hes a tailor. he has scales on him.... spoon on his forehead... fuck whats his name....#hes committed crimes before #WHY DONT I REMEMBER THIS! oh my god. um. whatever.#ds9 is crazy ds9 is like what i imagine is going on with the adult trolls that are in homestuck

7 notes · View notes

captainbrookeworm · 1 year

Text

Hey guys if I did a LotL DTIYS, would y’all be down? I have a drawing idea and I think it would be fun, but I’ve never hosted one before.

I would post links to all of the entries on LotL Art and reblog all of them, but I’m unsure about further prizes/rules/time limits at the moment. If you have any tips or experience, lemme know in the comments!

#land of the living #lotl #lotldtiys #ninjago #fanart #morro #greencousins #putting feelers out there cause it would kinda suck to have just like NO one participate #ya feel?#I'm still gonna make the drawing tho #potential prizes would be something like a commission not cash or items that need to be shipped #in case that influences opinions lol #originally the 'no' option was 'hoe don't do it (oh my god)' but I didn't want people to pick that just because it was funny #I'm being /srs not /j I need to be /srs #draw this in your style

53 notes · View notes

soldier-poet-king · 11 months

Text

I'm finally back into the way of kings and like.kaladin. Kaladin. Babe. My poor little meow meow. Sad boy times only. Prime Blorbo material. I would die for him.

What a shame bsanderson is such A Worldbuilding Guy and I'm very much more a character driven person where the world mostly exists to serve the narrative & themes bc like. Ho boy is this one dragging. The dalinar chapters SHOULD be smthn I enjoy! Sad old men! Guilt! Honour! Chivalric codes! The ever encroaching fear that you're losing your sanity! And yet. Mcdying.

Love shallan and jasnah. Absolutely fascianted by scholarly, philosophical and religious infighting and implications there. But Kaladin is THEE cosmere guy of all time. He's uprooted even my mistborn era 1 faves. Guilt complex chronically depressed sometimes suicidal enslaved soldier is actually meant to be a healer and a surgeon and he is kind. And good. He doesn't want to be a miracle but for his men he will be. But he also said fuck the lighteyes class oppression all my homies hate this shit. I stood ZERO chance of him not being my fave immediately

#fran reads #fran reads cosmere #not tagging bc i like to be alive and not yelled at for not loving it as much as everyone else #im having fun! but also the PACING OH MY GOD #and bsanderson worldbuilds for its own sake. and THEN populates it w characters #or it feels like that. which is fine.#but im such an emotive character and theme driven hoe its like. om.#ok. but i need to be compelled #ur little racial group cultures and religions that worship rocks and long eyebrowed traders #all fine.#but WHY do they exist like this. HOW does it affect our characters and why they behave certain ways #if youre gonna go ham on the worldbuilding i need historical anthropological explanations in world #else I just get. bored?#which is v much a ME problem its not really a criticism just a preference #i find i don't have the same issues w tolkien either bc nostalgia blinders or bc tolkien was a historian and linguist and that comes out #*out in his work #and most the rest of my fantasy novels are character driven. loke even tge which has an expansice socially stratified political world #it facilitates character arcs and interactions. it doesnt just exist for its own sake #REAL LIFE CULTURES. VERY RARELY. JUST DO SHIT JUST BC #yeah yeah archaeology for ritual purposes joke. but THATS SLOPPY ANTHRO WORK. WE HATE IT #unhinged insane of me ik. i am going back to being sad abt prime blorbo material kaladin #bc he truly is SO good. THE bsanderson character For Me Definitely

19 notes · View notes